Hit-Monkey (2021) s01e10 Episode Script

[PAGES RIFFLING]
Dramatic music playing ♪
♪
♪
BRYCE: Okay,
all we gotta to do is get through
the entire Tokyo Police Department,
the Japanese Secret Service,
and a bunch of Special Forces dudes.
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Oh, right, right, right.
Without killing any of them. Yeah.
Then we gotta fight our way through
a couple insane Japanese superheroes.
[GRUNTS]
No, I know, who aren't
our enemies. Yep.
Then we gotta get
to the top of the tallest,
most heavily defended building in Tokyo,
probably uh, fight Lady Bullseye again,
who's already kicked your ass,
and then, then, if we're
lucky enough to survive,
kill your girlfriend's uncle.
[WHIMPERS, GRUNTS]
Look, look, look, look, don't worry.
She'll totally understand.
I-I know it's tough. Okay?
I mean, she said you guys are family,
which means he's family.
And-and I've had
to kill family before,
and yes, it sucks,
but you know what's worse?
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Actually, I-I-I don't know
what's worse.
[MONKEY SIGHS]
Okay, uh, th-this is
a terrible pep talk.
Uh, here, hold out your hands.
[MONKEY GROANS]
Alright, you know what these are?
Calluses.
You're the best damn assassin
I've ever met, you're a monster. Okay?
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
And when we turn this corner,
we're gonna walk up to that building
and you're gonna fulfill
your destiny.
And then I'm gonna go
wherever the hell I deserve to go.
Just just two dudes.
Two fates.
One awesome ride. Right?
I don't know about you,
but I'd watch the shit outta that movie.
[HOOTS]
♪
[CROWD SHOUTING]
♪
[WHIMPERS]
Dramatic theme playing ♪
♪
[CROWD SHOUTING]
- BRYCE: Psst.
- Huh?
BRYCE: Hey, Yuki.
Hey, over here.
[GROWLS]
It's me, Bryce Fowler?
We met at the, uh,
the Love Motel, you know?
We fought on top of a car.
You tried to kill me?
[EERIE MOANING]
You look great, by the way.
I-I-I Did you do something different
with your hair or something?
I can't put my finger on it.
[EERIE MOANING]
Right, right, right.
Okay, uh, look, anyway,
I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm here for Monkey?
Monkey?
Exactly, yeah, short guy,
wears a suit,
little bit of a temper problem. Yeah.
Monkey is a noble warrior.
He has my allegiance
if ever he were to call on Yuki!
Yeah, well, hey, ring-ring.
Hey, uh, will you grab Haruka?
And meet us over in the alley
by the Burger King.
♪
HARUKA: What? That's impossible.
Shinji?
[SCREECHES, HOOTS]
We thought so too,
but it actually makes perfect sense.
They thought so too,
but it makes perfect sense.
But that would mean
This is all for nothing.
Wait. What about Akiko?
Is she involved too?
[HOOTS, SCREECHES]
Uh, no, no, no, no.
Akiko doesn't know.
I mean, at least we hope
she doesn't.
Akiko is innocent.
Wait, how do you speak monkey?
I am speaking with the ghost
that's with the monkey.
He speaks monkey.
- [HOOTS]
- Hold on,
there's another ghost?
Oh yeah.
And he's handsome as all hell.
HARUKA: [CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me.
Clear the way. Coming through.
Got a lot of hungry grunts
inside the building.
[MUTTERING]:
Uh, I I don't know.
[GRUNTS]
[WHIMPERS]
Stop right there.
[BOTH GASP]
I'll take one of those.
Uh uh sorry, sir
they're only for guests
inside the party.
Silver Samurai is the greatest hero
in all of Japan.
No! I'm just trying
to do my job.
Your only job is
to feed Silver Samurai!
I have been standing
around here for hours,
now give me
a frickin' rice cake!
[MONKEY SCREECHES]
SILVER SAMURAI: Huh?
VENDOR: They made me do it!
They made me do it!
Ohhhh shit.
[GRUNTING]
Yeah, I don't think it's gonna work
this time, bud.
[MONKEY SCREECHING]
MAN: Hey, look!
The pigs are attacking
the monkey!
Let's get 'em!
[CROWD SHOUTING]
- Huh?
- SILVER SAMURAI: Everybody remain calm.
Silver Samurai has everything
under control [GRUNTS]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
Traitors!
I should have known.
Protect the Prime Minister!
[GRUNTS]
Aw shit, shit, shit, shit.
Chaos on election night.
Violence erupts
in downtown Tokyo,
and we have reports
that the monkey vigilante
that has been terrorizing
the city lately
may be at the center of it.
I REPEAT: the so-called
"Hit Monkey"
may be at the center of it all.
Authorities are saying
to seek safety and shelter
He's coming for me.
I know it.
No, Uncle,
he's one of the good guys.
He's my friend.
What are you talking about?
You know this creature?
Ozu was behind it all.
He orchestrated
Ken's assassination
and almost got me killed.
He also tried
to steal the election
from the rightful candidate.
Ozu was a terrible man!
What do you mean was?
Monkey took care of him.
Ah
AKIKO: And Bonsai Master, too.
Oh my god.
Look, I know it sounds crazy,
but Monkey is coming here
to protect you.
He's coming here
to protect us all.
We just have to wait for him.
[MAN GURGLES]
[COUGHS]
♪
My thoughts exactly.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
End of the line, rodent!
[GRUNTS]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
You mess with the Monkey,
you get the Cobra.
[HOOTING]
[SILVER SAMURAI GROANS]
Hey, Fat Boy.
I thought they locked you up.
Let me ask you:
how do you piss in that thing?
Is there a cod-piece?
Or are you just free-balling
under that skirt?
I'm obviously wearing pants!
[YELLS]
[GROANS]
[CAR ALARM BLARING]
[LAUGHS] Too easy.
Holy shit. I love watching
weirdos duke it out!
Feel like I'm watching
pay-per-view!
You know?
For free, though!
[HOOTING]
[CHUCKLES]
Okay, Monkey.
One fastball special, coming up.
Woo! Fastball special.
Ha ha! Go ahead,
let 'em have it!
[FAT COBRA GRUNTS]
♪
Huh?
[SCREECHING]
♪
Ho-ho, you again. Wow.
I mean, it's funny how we keep
meeting like this, yeah?
Must be fate. Right?
Or destiny?
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Let's not ruin this moment with words.
Oh, you've gotta be shitting me.
Tense music playing ♪
Come on, little monkey.
We're all dressed up
and ready to dance.
SHINJI: What is it you want?
Name your price.
Save your breath.
I already work for you,
Prime Minister.
Well, technically, I work
for Bonsai Master,
but he worked for you.
Right?
Don't worry, boss.
You're just bait.
Monkey's here to kill you,
and I'm here to kill Monkey.
Once he's dead,
your little secret will be too.
[GROANS]
Now get back there, old man,
before I lose my temper!
[SCREECHING]
[LAUGHING]You didn't think you could
get away from Silver Samurai, did you?
Holy shit! Where'd he go?
[GRUNTS]
BRYCE: Sword!
Okay, that was badass.
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
I mean, he definitely practiced it,
but still, you know, kudos.
♪
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[LAUGHS]
♪
[SCREECHING]
Hey dude, we're running out
of real estate real quick here, man!
[MONKEY SCREECHING]
BRYCE: Ohhh, shit!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Whoa! Ho-ho, yeah, man!
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Huh?
Well, either that's a good sign
or a really bad one.
WOMAN: Don't go up there!
She killed everybody!
Elevator music playing ♪
[BRYCE SNIFFLES]
[BELL DINGS]
[SWISHING]
[SCREECHES]
Oh shit!
LADY BULLSEYE: Hi there.
So glad you could join us.
You know, our first meeting was
so incredibly irritating,
but I'm sure
as a fellow professional
you understand why I didn't want
to just call that a draw.
Oh crap, crap, crap!
Hey! Drop it!
[SCREAMS]
Ugh. So annoying.
Elevator music continues playing ♪
♪
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
Here, little monkey-monkey,
Come out and play-ee-yay.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha!
Ugh.
[HOOTING]
Huh?
[GROANS]
Son of a bitch!
[SCREECHES]
Jesus Louisus! She's terrifying!
Now what did that priest say
about salt?
Oh right!
[GROANING]
[LAUGHING]
BRYCE: What the shit?
Hello, Bryce.
Oh my Oh my god.
[LADY BULLSEYE LAUGHS]
I have physical form.
Oh, and it hurts!
I remember you, Bryce.
From that Goldman Sachs conference
back in 2011.
Dammit!
- You hit on me.
- [COUGHING]
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I'm remembering.
Not my proudest moment.
As I remember,
I got the target
and you got stood up.
But this'll be fun
[SCREECHING]
You have to understand.
I was frustrated with Ken.
He was always so impulsive.
What? What-what-what are you
talking about?
Uncle, you are Prime Minister.
We gotta keep you safe.
There's a helicopter on the roof.
Iymasho!
[SILVERWARE CLATTERING]
LADY BULLSEYE:
Uh, uh, uh.
[SCREECHING]
Where do you think you're going?
[MONKEY HOOTING]
[LAUGHS]
- Ah, shit.
- [MONKEY SCREECHING]
Oww!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
[GASPING]
Oh ho. Come on.
You got this.
Holy shit! That hurts!
[BRYCE SCREAMING]
[CHUCKLES]
Is that all you got?
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
[MONKEY HOOTING]
Go! After them!
Save Akiko, man!
[MONKEY HOOTING]
No, it's fine, okay.
We are a team!
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Ugh. You know, for a dead guy,
you look like shit.
[GRUNTING]
[CRUNCH]
[SCREAMS]
LADY BULLSEYE:
Bryce, Bryce, Bryce.
[GROANING]
You were always a worthless,
second-rate assassin.
Can't argue with you there.
But not so worthless
that I can't be a decent diversion.
[GUNSHOTS]
[CLICKING]
[GROANS SOFTLY]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
That was for Ito-san.
Oh, there is a ghost.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
Yeah. Hey.
AKIKO: What the hell?
Holy shit.
Stop.
Akiko, stop.
I have something
I have to tell you.
I caused this.
I'm responsible for all this death
and destruction.
It was me.
Wha-what? What was you?
Ken was losing the election!
We were behind by ten points
when we should
have been ahead by five!
What are you saying?
Bonsai Master approached me.
He said that
Ken could be moved aside.
That I could run in Ken's place.
That he would support my agenda.
Sure I'd have to make
a few concessions,
but on all the things
we cared about,
he would support us!
I did it for the country!
You killed Ken?
I did a horrible thing.
And the worst thing is,
it worked.
But then,
everyone started dying.
And this monkey came back.
It's all gotten out of hand.
[MONKEY HOOTING]
You have come for me,
haven't you, Monkey?
[GROWLS]
Wait
You are the spirit of vengeance,
come to punish me for my sins.
No! Monkey, no!
You don't have to do this.
[GROWLS]
No, Monkey!
Killing him is not the way!
He deserves to stand trial
in front of the country.
Don't do it, pal.
[HOOTING]
Look, I've made
this mistake before, okay.
Akiko won't forgive you.
Is that a ghost?
[SCREECHING]
I know, I know it'll cost me
a chance of ascending.
And we won't get the person responsible
for all this shit.
But there's there's something tells me
that killing this selfish prick
isn't the answer.
And-and-and I know it won't give me
any kind of happy ending,
but I Look, I'm willing to forgo that,
in order for you,
for you to have the happy ending.
Oh shit, wha
Oh for Now what?
Oh! Holy shit.
Hey! Hey, hey, look!
Look, I'm ascending!
Oh my god!
[LAUGHS] Oh!
Oh, I get it.
I had to do the right thing.
Oh, that's what Baldy meant
by removing the seed of evil.
It was like,
the barren field was me.
I Ha ha!
Oh, that cryptic jerk.
Holy shit. Oh, shit
Hey! Uh, Monkey!
Monkey. Look, I think
I think you know
how I feel about you, okay.
And I'm sorry
for ruining your life.
Just take care
of yourself, alright?
And remember to drink
plenty of water!
[WHINES]
Shinji Yokohama,
I'm placing you under arrest
for the murder of Ken Takahara.
[HANDCUFF CLICK]
SHINJI: It can't end like this.
Ken's death will not be in vain.
AKIKO: No!
Oh!
What did you do, you animal?
How did he get my gun?
[AKIKO SOBS]
He was the only family I had!
God damn you!
Monkey, you have
to get out of here.
[HOOTING]
No, Monkey, you've just shot
the Prime Minister!
Trust me, you have to leave!
[WHIMPERS]
♪
melancholy music playing ♪
♪
♪
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be
always at your back.
May the sun shine warm
upon your face.
May the rain
fall softly upon your fields
until we meet again.
♪
[AIRPLANE WHOOSHING]
♪
♪
Hi, guys. Nice to see you.
Yep.
Thank you.
Good to see you.
I'm going to make this right.
I will clear your name.
[GRUNTING]
I promise you.
[HOOTING]
Yes, I put a juice box in there.
You told me, like, six times.
♪
[SIGHS]
BRYCE: Mm, mm, mm.
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Huh?
I can't tell you how happy
this whole image makes me.
[HOOTING]
Well, here's what happened.
Uh, you know,
I got to the afterlife,
and it was an awesome place.
You know? Fire everywhere.
Super dramatic.
Uh, you know,
little bit like Reno, but better.
Ahh!
Slayer playing.
Dragons everywhere.
Really fun.
And I was like, psyched.
But I thought, "You know what?
As great as this place is,"
and it was great, really.
I was like, you know what?
My friend's up there all alone,
still kind of learning
the ropes.
Uh, lots more killers to kill,
if you know what I mean.
And I think he needs my help.
Anyway, the red dude,
he agreed, you know.
Made me sign a contract,
which I didn't read but who cares.
I mean, how's he ever gonna
hold me to it, right?
[MONKEY GROANS]
So I figure, you know,
we go to New York.
I have a great handler.
She, uh, she books me
on all my gigs,
and-and right after we put
the fear of God in her
for booking me on this one,
she'll definitely want
to take you on as a client.
Then we can earn some real coin.
You know what I mean?
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Kill a whole bunch of assholes
who deserve to die
and maybe, uh,
you know, see the sights.
Oh, oh, by the way,
check this out. Look at this.
[SCREECHING]
I know, right?
I mean, I figure
this could come in pretty handy.
Yeah, you know I picked up
a few things from Yuki. You know?
Ol' Brycey's back
in action, huh?
Here, let me clean
that up for you.
[MONKEY GRUNTS]
Yeah. I mean, I'm still working on it.
[BOTTLE RATTLES]
You know, ten-thousand hours.
[CHUCKLES]
That's what that, uh,
Gladwell said, right?
[GRUNTING]
[BOTTLES CLINK]
[GRUNTS]
[SNIFFLES]
Secret Colours "Faust" playing ♪
♪
Made of stone ♪
Soul is lost ♪
Into the known ♪
You are the Faust ♪
Original sin ♪
Come from within ♪
County at war ♪
It's time to begin ♪
She said yea ♪
She said yea ♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
So strange sky change ♪
♪
Kill my brain, keep me tame ♪
♪
She is gone, I don't belong ♪
♪
My mind is wrong, now I am gone ♪
♪