Knight Squad (2018) s01e10 Episode Script

1 [swords clanging.]
[shouts of combat.]
[shouts of combat continue.]
[chuckling.]
Looking good, students.
Ciara, let's see if you can demonstrate a double-arrow shot.
She double-can.
I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm rooting for you.
Thanks.
Here goes nothing.
[dramatic music.]
- [arrow thuds.]
- Hey! I can't afford to lose any more eyes.
That's awesome If you're trying to get worse.
Congratulations on your decline.
Students, put your weapons away.
You can mark the hour on your own time.
Hey, are you okay? I mean, archery is usually your thing Kind of how like not playing the ukulele is my thing.
It's just so tiny.
I haven't had enough time to practice because of all my princess duties.
Yeah, but you got to judge that bake-off.
Free pie, blue ribbons.
Get out of my dreams, lady.
If this keeps up, I'll never get good enough to become a knight.
I'm not even good enough to fight an army of balloons.
Don't get down, all right? Your life is complicated, but you always find the answer Usually with my help, after some shenanigans.
[laughs.]
Students! You've all been working so hard that you deserve a treat.
[chuckles.]
So, I'm taking you on a quest to find treasure at the Treasure Trove Caverns.
- Yeah! - Yay! Aw.
I can't go.
Now I have princess stuff to do.
My life would just be so much easier if my dad would let me go to knight school.
And I wouldn't have to constantly make up excuses to cover for you Like this one.
Sir Gareth, Ciara just got stung by a red-nosed scorpion.
Ow! Ow! Stupid red-nosed scorpion.
Oooh its bite makes your butt swell up to the size of a beach ball.
That's my third- favorite animal.
Her first is a baby otter.
But she doesn't like people to know that.
SAGE: [clears throat.]
I'm sorry, Ciara, but you're going to have to miss the quest and get to the nurse's shack.
- ARC: Ahhh - Run! Well, don't literally run.
The scorpion's venom will move faster through your body.
Well, go faster than that! You just got stung by a scorpion! [magic whooshing.]
Isn't this great, Princess, connecting to our people through the power of waves.
I love the King and Princess Waving Hour, but we could do it in half the time, of we switched to double waving.
Why are you in such a hurry? I just think there are more important things a princess could be doing for the kingdom.
Oh, the people enjoy it as much as we do, and we can scan the courtyard for new food carts.
Those look delicious! Guard, find the cart that makes those lamb chops.
What I'm trying to say is you should let me go to knight school.
Oh, you know the answer is no.
And here's a "no" for the next six times you ask.
No, no, no, no, no, no! Would it change your mind if you knew I was the greatest warrior in Astoria? I refuse to have this conversation again.
Guard, bring me my crown of silence! [shouting.]
With your sister Eliza away, you have a responsibility to the kingdom to stay safe! This really works! I can't hear myself! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ah, Your Highness, we have returned from the Treasure Trove Caverns.
Who wants to see some treasure? I do! I do! All the bling that's fit for the king! Or princess! Thank you.
Nothing excites me more than your generous gift of Lamp chops!! Princess, I've got my treasure.
What would you like? I won't want treasure.
I want to go to knight school and You're wearing the crown of silence again.
[shouting.]
What?! I can't hear you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [magic whooshing.]
Back to your home, Sparkles.
Yes, I'll wear you tomorrow, Dazzle.
Are you talking to your tiaras again? No.
We'll talk more later.
I told you not to use my secret passage.
You also told me to stop using your snack catapult.
[laughs.]
Pigs in a blanket! What? Why are you here? Because I found this bottle at the Treasure Trove Caverns to cheer you up.
Open it! Open it! [magic whooshing.]
It's genie time! - You're a genie? - Yeah, she is.
And she is gonna grant you three wishes.
You bet I am.
First, I'm gonna celebrate being outta that bottle.
So much space! I'm stretchin'.
I'm kickin'.
Look at me go! Arc, you found an actual genie.
There haven't been genies in Astoria for centuries.
Yeah-h-h-h? I mean, huh-h-h-h-h? Yeah hey Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Hey! Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Oh oh Hey! Oh, we will be heroes We are the Knight Squad Hey! Na na na na, na na na na So, you're really here to grant my wishes? I grant the wishes of whoever possesses the bottle.
Again, I feel like I have to say huh-h-h-h-h-h? You get three wishes.
But, first, we need to go over the Genie Wish Rules.
Number One: Nothing about wars.
Can't start 'em, can't end 'em.
Number Two: Nothing about love.
You've gotta figure that one out for yourself.
And Number Three: You can't wish for more wishes.
I know you were thinking it.
She's right.
I was thinking that.
This is a good genie.
Yeah, she is.
And if you wanna fix your problem with your dad, just ask this magical motor mouth.
Yes, what's the problem with your dad? Ooh, if he's a big booger head, I could literally turn him into a big booger head.
Oh? No! My dad's wonderful Except he won't let me go to knight school, so, I created Ciara, my secret identity.
Secret identity? So, you've had other genies before me? That's really cool.
No bigs.
[deep sigh.]
Oh Don't cry.
A pixie gave me a magic ring.
A pixie? Pfffft! Well, there's your problem.
My motto is: If you want your wish to come true, don't be a wienie, use a genie! You heard her.
Make your wish, wienie.
[laughs.]
Okay, here goes.
I wish my dad would let me go to knight school.
Your wish is my command.
Hey, I could also say, whatever ya wish, dude! Do you like it? I'm trying it out.
What about wika-wika, wish it up! Just spitballin'.
If you just do it, he'll stop talking.
Okay.
[snaps fingers.]
[magic whooshing.]
What just happened? You're not wearing your ring.
Your wish worked.
- Yep.
- ARC & CIARA: Ahhhh! Is that how you guys say hello? It's fun.
Ahhhh! Anyway, your father now allows you to go to knight school, so, yay, me, makin' dreams come true! But if I'm allowed to go to knight school, why am I still Ciara? Oh, yeah, your Ciara hair was just too gorg, so, I went with the full Ciara package.
Hey, guys, did you hear about the new ranking? - Phoenix Squad is on top.
- [laughs.]
Again.
And we set the record for most points.
Again.
So, we're ahead of Kraken Squad? [laughs.]
Kraken Squad? There is no Kraken Squad.
We just have Phoenix, Unicorn, and Sloth Squad.
No Kraken means no Sage.
Kiki, you are way better than a pixie.
Aw, thanks.
And you are way better than a flying cockroach.
That's what I call pixies.
Oh, Ciara, will you demonstrate a quadruple- arrow shot.
Are you kidding? That'll be easy for Ciara.
Right.
So easy.
Yes, of course.
There is no way I'm making this shot.
I couldn't even make a double- arrow shot this morning.
You're going to do great, okay? In fact, I'm so confident, I am just gonna hide behind this shield.
And I am just gonna hide behind him.
Here goes nothing.
[dramatic music.]
[balloons pop.]
Ah, yes! [chuckling.]
Oh, my gosh! I did it! Did you see that? Ciara is here every night practicing after hours and it paid off.
I'm awesome at knight school, Sage isn't here, and my hair looks great.
I love this genie! Aw, she loves you back.
Are you wearing my spare armor? Gotta go! Oh na na Na na, hey hey hey I'm feeling generous today.
Students, order all the onion rings you can eat! STUDENTS: [hooting.]
You, uh, sure about that, sir? Oh, oh, right, yes.
Um, everyone but Prudy.
Dude! I thought you were my friend.
My Princess! Have you been at knight school all day? Yes.
Is that okay? No, it's not okay.
It's wonderful! I'm so proud of all the butt you're kicking.
[laughing.]
I never thought I'd hear him say that.
Huh-h-h-h-h-h? Huh-h-h-h-h-h? Thank you for getting me that genie bottle.
I found it in the Treasure Trove bathroom while I was I don't need to know all the details! Would you like to hear the specials today, Sir Gareth? Yes.
It's onion rings Just like every day.
Why is my dad behind the counter? Uh, because he runs the Tasty Trunk.
- What? - Yeah.
And he needs the counter so he can do his hilarious "walking down the stairs" bit.
I'll get more onion rings from the cellar.
SIR GARETH: [laughing.]
There is no cellar.
It never gets old.
But he's the king.
He sure is.
The King of Onion Rings.
All hail, the King of Rings! CROWD: All hail, the King of Rings! Thank you, hungry subjects.
Hey, guys.
Kiki, what's going on? Oh, I'm out of my bottle and trying new things.
Right now I'm a sassy waitress.
No, I meant, why is my dad running a restaurant? Oh, well, the king would never allow his daughter to go to knight school 'cause it's too dangerous.
So, I had to make a few adjustments.
Wait, you made it so he's not the King of Astoria anymore? Then that means I'm not the princess anymore.
But you said your princess duties were getting in the way of your training.
See? See? People think genies don't listen.
But we do.
But I wanted to be the Princess of Astoria and to go to knight school.
Ohhh Yeah, okay, so you really need to learn to be more specific.
Wait, if you're not the princess, then who is? All hail, Princess Sage! CROWD: All hail, Princess Sage! [gasping.]
That's what I said.
Oh oh oh, hey, oh oh oh, hey Kneel, dummies.
Get down.
So, I'm not the princess and Sage is.
How could you do this, Kiki? You sound mad.
Do you mind if I just pop into my bottle until you're super-happy again? [snaps fingers.]
Let's stuff a pixie in there and watch 'em fight.
All right, you've worshipped me enough.
Stand, dummies.
[giggling.]
You lose! She didn't say "Simon says.
" BUTTERCUP & SAGE: [laughing.]
My favorite part of being a princess is having a royal bestie jester.
My favorite part of being a royal bestie jester is this hat.
[giggling.]
- [bells jingling.]
- It's so jingly.
SAGE: [laughs.]
You, giant girl, lift this table.
But you put these crystal pain bands on me to shock me if I tried to use my giant strength.
You sure did.
You said, "Anyone stronger than me will wish they weren't.
" Ha! She sounds just like me.
Now lift it, giant.
Oh, um, Your Highness, is that is that really necessary? Do you want the crystal pain bands? I tried, Prudy.
Okay, I'll lift the table.
[grunt of effort.]
[electrical zapping.]
[yelping.]
Help! Princess! Ah, it was funny the first ten times.
Put it down.
- This is terrible.
- I know.
My wish did this and I have to fix it.
I'm gonna summon Kiki.
Hey, you! Give me that bottle.
It'll look good in my bedroom next to my collection of creepy doll heads.
I get to keep their creepy doll bodies.
[giggling.]
No, I'm not giving you this bottle.
I'll get it, Princess Sage.
Bottle-us, comesy-heresy! Hey! Ah.
Thank you.
Would you like to go to dinner? Would you like to go to the dungeon? Will they be serving dinner? Ciara, she's walking away with the bottle.
I know.
What are we gonna do? If we can't summon Kiki, Astoria will be stuck like this forever.
Wait.
Princess Sage said she was taking it to her room.
I know a guy that can get us in there.
It's me.
I'm the guy.
What did Sage do to my room? [gasps.]
She replaced my teddy bear with a scary bear! And look what she did to my tiara cabinet.
It's a cabinet of nightmares.
Hey, at least she didn't get rid of the snack catapult.
[laughs.]
[cat screeching.]
Well, now it's a cat catapult.
Arc, focus.
We have to find that bottle before Sage comes.
SAGE: I'll see you later, Buttercup.
It's too late! She's here! Hide! Down, scary bear! There has to be a reason why they wanted this bottle so bad.
What's in here? [magic whooshing.]
Did you guys eat a bunch of onion rings and forgive me Oh, someone new.
Hi, I'm Kiki.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're a genie? Yes, and since you have the bottle, I can grant you three wishes.
Co-o-o-o-ol.
I could wish for more wishes.
Ooh, actually, there's a few rules we should go over.
Don't bother, Kiki! She doesn't get any wishes.
What are you doing in my room? Are you here to steal my doll heads? No one would steal those.
All right, give us that bottle.
Genie, I wish for you to have insane fighting skills and use it against these two intruders.
Wika-wika, wish it up! Hey! That's Arc's super-cool genie phrase.
Sorry, guys.
I'm gonna have to kick your butts now.
[fingers snap.]
Cool! Now I know kung fu.
Just make sure you mess them up, not my room.
Bye! Wait! I know Sage has the bottle.
But you don't have to do this.
[martial arts grunt.]
Well, you definitely don't have to do it this well.
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, hey Na na na na, oh oh Okay, this is bad.
If we don't get that bottle back, we'll be stuck forever in Princess Sage's carnival of crazy.
ALL: [martial arts grunting.]
Okay, the next time you find a genie, find one that's out of shape.
I really wish I could let you guys go, but genie rules and all.
BOTH: [martial arts grunting.]
Super sorry.
And I'm sorry about this.
- [cat screeching.]
- KIKI: Ah! [cat screeching continues.]
[cat screeching continues.]
- Hey, guys! - ARC & CIARA: Ahhhh! How did you get down here so quickly? Hello? A genie.
Now where were we? Oh, right.
[martial arts grunt.]
Way to kick their butts, genie.
What other cool stuff can you do? Ooh, I can run in slow motion.
No way! I can dance like a duck.
SAGE: Ha! Oh, it's just so good to be a princess.
Are you guys okay? Obviously not.
Arc has sad eyes.
Who hurt you, buddy? She did.
It's a long story, but we have to stop that genie.
Okay, I'll use my giant strength.
No.
You'll get shocked.
I know.
But you're worth it.
bestie in any universe.
Oh, I don't know what that means, but thank you.
But what about me? I'll do anything.
You name it.
We need you to use your magic to get that bottle back from Princess Sage.
- Oh, no can do.
- What? Hey, genie, how about a giant hug? Ooh, yay.
I've always wanted to try a hug.
[electrical zapping.]
Oh! Hugs are not what I expected! What are you doing to my genie? [electrical zapping continues.]
Cannot summon genie magic.
Come on, bro.
We need you.
Hey, maybe Princess Sage will like you because you're a rebel bad boy.
- I'll do it! - ARC: [snaps fingers.]
Bottle-us, comesy-heresy! Yes! I've got the bottle! And I'm a bad boy.
How do ya like me now? I like you less.
I made a terrible mistake! Genie, stop them! You no longer have the bottle, so, no.
Guards, seize that bottle! Hurry up! Make a wish! I wish everything was back to normal! Wika-wika, wish it up! BOTH: Just do it! - [fingers snapping.]
- [magic whooshing.]
Nothing excites me more than your generous gift of Lamb chops!! I'm the princess! And you're the king! And Sage is just regular knight school Sage! [laughing.]
Okay.
Hey, show some respect to the girl I love, but I'm too scared to talk to.
Oooh! Look, Sage, I found a pretty bottle.
No! You cannot have that! B-Because the princess probably wants it.
I do.
Thank you, random knight school student.
Well, you know the rules.
Since the king doesn't want anything, let's go throw this in a ditch.
Yes! And I know just the ditch.
Ah! Happy to be back in your complicated life? Yes, everything is perfect.
Thank you for teaching me I can't wish my problems away.
Hey, you still have one wish left.
Oh, talking alpacas, please! Actually, I gift my last wish to you, Kiki.
KIKI: [gasps.]
What? You're gonna give your last wish to the bathroom genie? I'm so sorry.
Please, don't kick me.
I don't need any more wishes.
I wouldn't change a thing.
No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! I know exactly what I want.
[sighs.]
[snaps fingers.]
A slightly bigger bottle.
[snaps fingers.]
KIKI: Ha, ha, there's so much space in here!