Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e10 Episode Script
Return of the Four Constellations
PO: Mmm-hmm.
How could he have escaped? PO: I don't know.
JING: Maybe if it hadn't taken us so long to get up here, Fan Tong.
I'm sorry.
I kept having to stop and go to the bathroom.
Should probably just start wearing a diaper.
BUNNIDHARMA: Wow, we've really dodged an arrow here.
I mean, really! What are you talking about? Yeah, BD, we're gonna need you to elaborate.
Give us the deats.
I don't know how to use the Spirit Urn.
I just know how to bring it.
That could have been very bad! ALL: What? Might have been good to know beforehand! All right, any idea who does know how to use it? The Four Constellations.
News flash, genius, they've been dead for a thousand years! Now, you have to find them in the Spirit Realm, and ask for yourself.
Get that foul stench away from me! Master, how are you feeling? I'd be feeling a lot better, Jade Tusk, if I had the chi of the Four Constellations.
I am sorry.
There was no way of keeping track of the children in the avalanche.
I I was nearly killed myself.
No, you were incompetent.
Incompetent! Unfortunately, we have a more pressing matter to deal with.
Last night I felt a concerning chi presence I haven't come across in nearly a thousand years.
It can't be.
But if the rabbit is alive somehow he could Find him! Ah.
So, how long does this whole, you know, ritual to get to the Spirit Realm take exactly? We're kind of on a tight schedge.
That's short for schedule 'cause schedule took too long to say? So I We haven't even started.
I've been wanting to get rid of this tea for ages, and the powder is because you all smell like stinky tofu.
-No offense.
To return to the heavens, you will close your eyes.
And when you close your eyes, you will raise your arms, breathing calmly, to release your mind.
Whoa.
Let us begin.
LAOSHU: Appointment only.
JADE TUSK: I come on behalf of my master, who also happens to be your most valuable client.
For you, I make exception.
I need to know the whereabouts of an ancient sage.
First name, Bunni.
Last name, Dharma.
Doesn't ring a gong.
Interesting, because, to sustain himself all these years, he would've needed herbs and elixirs that could only have come from one place.
-Here! Boys! Boys! I don't believe they're coming ever.
Bring me another furry thing.
XIN: Good evening, Grand Abbot Jindiao.
Did you get a new interior designer? This part of the temple, it isn't you.
Oh, but it is me.
I guess you never really know someone.
But what you will know is your true purpose.
-JADE TUSK: Master.
I have the information you requested.
Good.
Soon I will be able to destroy that demented rabbit's precious urn once and for all.
XIN: Grand Abbott Jindiao, are we almost done here? Almost.
Huh? Okay, everybody just FAN TONG: Ow! Uh, guys.
Where is Master Po? Uh Where am I That sounds like Fan Tong.
Fan Tong? Not Fan Tong.
BLUE DRAGON: We have been watching you.
And in a word, we're not impressed.
That's three words.
Shut up, Bao.
It is like a beautiful rickshaw wreck, we just cannot look away.
I blame the Universe for giving our magnificent powers that, might I add, hinge on the fate of the world, to roly-poly children.
Technically, we're adolescents.
BLACK TORTOISE: That explains so much.
All those raging hormones.
I certainly hope you are not picking your pimples, although something tells me that you are.
You gentlemen are being very ill-mannered.
Excuse us for a moment.
They're probably just hazing us like the Furious Five did to Master Po.
It's their weird way of welcoming us or something.
So we gotta do it back, so we don't look weak.
Wait, Bao, that's not You guys are old and And old! This is fun.
I wanna play.
Yeah! You guys are quite elderly! And you eat dinner at an early hour! Anyhoo, we know we're not perfect at this whole world-saving thing, but we're doing the best that we can.
And we need your help.
We know.
We called you here through our old friend Bunnidharma.
Friend is a strong word, all things considered.
You must take the obstacles you face more seriously.
You are our only hope at defeating the great evil that is Jindiao.
Really? You're gonna just step on my lines that way? Then will you teach us how to use the Spirit Urn? Please? WHITE TIGER: First, you must prove to us that you can control our power.
And that you are ready.
So we challenge you to a duel! I can hear you breathing through your face hole.
Show yourself.
Hey, hey, guy.
Well, look at this.
Company! Come in, Tubby Bear.
Don't be shy.
Feast with me.
Silly question.
Are you a demon? And if yes, am I in The Inn of the Never Ending Dumpling.
Wait, did you just say "dumpling" and "never-ending" in the same sentence? Awesome! Not awesome! I want to go home.
Instead, I am stuck here eating dumplings in a desperate attempt to get my picture on the wall to boost my self-esteem.
You mean we can't leave here? Do you not listen? I have made a good life for myself in the Underworld.
I have a comfortable sulfur pit on a lava flow with my wife and demon spawn.
This is Jindiao's fault.
Wait.
You know Jindiao? There.
Up ahead.
Once I have the power of the Four Constellations, we will seal the fate of these pathetic pandas once and for all.
Wha What? Jade Tusk! What happens again if we don't win? We'll be stuck here forever, waiting on the Constellations, hand and foot, ball and chain, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Yeah, so we're gonna have to win because I am not about that life.
We've got nothing to lose, besides our freedom.
And our lives.
No choice but to face them on the field of [WHITE TIGER AND BLUE DRAGON GRUNTING.]
Cuju? So the epic Kung Fu duel is a dumb beach game? We're not fighting? Lame! I'm okay with that.
Let's kick these old-timers' butts! FAN TONG: Ow.
Huh? Oh, boy.
How do you know Jindiao? Funny story, actually.
He's kind of my nemesis.
He took my chi and kicked me through a hole in the floor.
And now he's creepin' on my students.
He's just an overall a bad guy.
With quite a few villain qualities.
Probably the "twists his mustache in private" type.
Yes! Such a villain.
If I ever get out of here, I will get sweet, sweet revenge.
Then I will return to my comfortable life of torturing souls whose life choices were dubious at best.
Totally.
So, are we gonna eat some dumplings or what? 'Cause, I mean, as long as we're here may as well Time out! I think we should use our Hero Chi.
Now we're talkin'.
Is that legal? They didn't say it wasn't, so by my standards, yep, totally legal.
As long as the ball doesn't touch our paws we should be fine.
Guys, remember what got us here.
We were chosen.
Their time is over.
This is our time.
Now let's go out there and take it! ALL: Yeah! Maybe I like sports now.
BLUE DRAGON: Your serve! It is about time you made things interesting.
Hmm? -They're getting tired.
We're getting tired.
Everybody know the play? I got this.
Bao's paw touched the ball.
Bao, is that true? What? No.
Yeah, it is.
Sorry, guys.
Game over.
Okay, so we lost.
Maybe you guys are more equipped for the job, but, unfortunately, we're all you've got.
And while you've made it clear you don't have much faith in us, any chance is better than none.
Yeah, just let us go back and do something.
Anything.
Something! Oh, Bao already said that.
We will give you one more chance.
After all, you are trying to save the world.
Perhaps, an intellectual test.
The quill is often mightier than the sword.
And that is coming from a sword guy.
We accept.
To get to the end, you must return to the beginning.
What was lost, must now be found, for inside you will not find a pit, but instead a Wellspring.
Answer that riddle, and we will tell you how to defeat him.
This must have something to do with the Wellspring since it is literally mentioned in the riddle.
Great detective work, sis.
What have we lost? Besides my mind.
Not find a pit? What has a pit? Hey, we kind of fell into a pit in the temple going after the Peach.
A peach has a pit.
The Wellspring is in the Peach! Sorry, I got excited.
Hmm.
Well done.
We had to hide the Wellspring, when Bunnidharma did not show up with the Spirit Urn.
To protect it from Jindiao.
And the Peach seemed like a good place since we knew the Pandas would be keeping an eye on it.
I feel like this might go quicker if we didn't trade off WHITE TIGER: Sentences.
Sorry.
Only the energy of the Wellspring is powerful enough to trap a being as strong as Jindiao.
So how do we access h the Wellspring? With the same series of Kung Fu forms we used to hide it.
So, uh, if you guys could teach us those forms, that would also be great.
We already have.
You saw the moves when we used them during the game.
Dang! You guys are good.
With these forms, you will be able to open the Wellspring and access its power.
You can then channel the energy through yourselves, and collectively blast it at Jindiao.
And then what? And then, his soul will be ejected from his body, and sucked into the Spirit Urn forever.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Now, go and finish what we could not.
I like you, Yaoguai.
And I like you, Tubby Bear.
You remind me of my former best friend Ragnar, who groped in the darkness with me when we were sightless grubs in the belly of our mother Shezu the Skinless.
Yeah, that's gonna give me nightmares.
Make me a promise, we will escape together, no matter what.
You got it, buddy.
Where I go, you Huh? Tubby Tubby bear! PANDAS: Master Po, wake up! Master Po, wake up! We know how to activate the Wellspring.
That was not the journey I was expecting.
Where did you go, Master Po? To a restaurant.
Really Ever go on a really bad blind date, but the food was good? Oh, yeah.
Let's go activate that Wellspring.
Well, well, well.
Uh, going somewhere? It's always the last cave you check.
How could he have escaped? PO: I don't know.
JING: Maybe if it hadn't taken us so long to get up here, Fan Tong.
I'm sorry.
I kept having to stop and go to the bathroom.
Should probably just start wearing a diaper.
BUNNIDHARMA: Wow, we've really dodged an arrow here.
I mean, really! What are you talking about? Yeah, BD, we're gonna need you to elaborate.
Give us the deats.
I don't know how to use the Spirit Urn.
I just know how to bring it.
That could have been very bad! ALL: What? Might have been good to know beforehand! All right, any idea who does know how to use it? The Four Constellations.
News flash, genius, they've been dead for a thousand years! Now, you have to find them in the Spirit Realm, and ask for yourself.
Get that foul stench away from me! Master, how are you feeling? I'd be feeling a lot better, Jade Tusk, if I had the chi of the Four Constellations.
I am sorry.
There was no way of keeping track of the children in the avalanche.
I I was nearly killed myself.
No, you were incompetent.
Incompetent! Unfortunately, we have a more pressing matter to deal with.
Last night I felt a concerning chi presence I haven't come across in nearly a thousand years.
It can't be.
But if the rabbit is alive somehow he could Find him! Ah.
So, how long does this whole, you know, ritual to get to the Spirit Realm take exactly? We're kind of on a tight schedge.
That's short for schedule 'cause schedule took too long to say? So I We haven't even started.
I've been wanting to get rid of this tea for ages, and the powder is because you all smell like stinky tofu.
-No offense.
To return to the heavens, you will close your eyes.
And when you close your eyes, you will raise your arms, breathing calmly, to release your mind.
Whoa.
Let us begin.
LAOSHU: Appointment only.
JADE TUSK: I come on behalf of my master, who also happens to be your most valuable client.
For you, I make exception.
I need to know the whereabouts of an ancient sage.
First name, Bunni.
Last name, Dharma.
Doesn't ring a gong.
Interesting, because, to sustain himself all these years, he would've needed herbs and elixirs that could only have come from one place.
-Here! Boys! Boys! I don't believe they're coming ever.
Bring me another furry thing.
XIN: Good evening, Grand Abbot Jindiao.
Did you get a new interior designer? This part of the temple, it isn't you.
Oh, but it is me.
I guess you never really know someone.
But what you will know is your true purpose.
-JADE TUSK: Master.
I have the information you requested.
Good.
Soon I will be able to destroy that demented rabbit's precious urn once and for all.
XIN: Grand Abbott Jindiao, are we almost done here? Almost.
Huh? Okay, everybody just FAN TONG: Ow! Uh, guys.
Where is Master Po? Uh Where am I That sounds like Fan Tong.
Fan Tong? Not Fan Tong.
BLUE DRAGON: We have been watching you.
And in a word, we're not impressed.
That's three words.
Shut up, Bao.
It is like a beautiful rickshaw wreck, we just cannot look away.
I blame the Universe for giving our magnificent powers that, might I add, hinge on the fate of the world, to roly-poly children.
Technically, we're adolescents.
BLACK TORTOISE: That explains so much.
All those raging hormones.
I certainly hope you are not picking your pimples, although something tells me that you are.
You gentlemen are being very ill-mannered.
Excuse us for a moment.
They're probably just hazing us like the Furious Five did to Master Po.
It's their weird way of welcoming us or something.
So we gotta do it back, so we don't look weak.
Wait, Bao, that's not You guys are old and And old! This is fun.
I wanna play.
Yeah! You guys are quite elderly! And you eat dinner at an early hour! Anyhoo, we know we're not perfect at this whole world-saving thing, but we're doing the best that we can.
And we need your help.
We know.
We called you here through our old friend Bunnidharma.
Friend is a strong word, all things considered.
You must take the obstacles you face more seriously.
You are our only hope at defeating the great evil that is Jindiao.
Really? You're gonna just step on my lines that way? Then will you teach us how to use the Spirit Urn? Please? WHITE TIGER: First, you must prove to us that you can control our power.
And that you are ready.
So we challenge you to a duel! I can hear you breathing through your face hole.
Show yourself.
Hey, hey, guy.
Well, look at this.
Company! Come in, Tubby Bear.
Don't be shy.
Feast with me.
Silly question.
Are you a demon? And if yes, am I in The Inn of the Never Ending Dumpling.
Wait, did you just say "dumpling" and "never-ending" in the same sentence? Awesome! Not awesome! I want to go home.
Instead, I am stuck here eating dumplings in a desperate attempt to get my picture on the wall to boost my self-esteem.
You mean we can't leave here? Do you not listen? I have made a good life for myself in the Underworld.
I have a comfortable sulfur pit on a lava flow with my wife and demon spawn.
This is Jindiao's fault.
Wait.
You know Jindiao? There.
Up ahead.
Once I have the power of the Four Constellations, we will seal the fate of these pathetic pandas once and for all.
Wha What? Jade Tusk! What happens again if we don't win? We'll be stuck here forever, waiting on the Constellations, hand and foot, ball and chain, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Yeah, so we're gonna have to win because I am not about that life.
We've got nothing to lose, besides our freedom.
And our lives.
No choice but to face them on the field of [WHITE TIGER AND BLUE DRAGON GRUNTING.]
Cuju? So the epic Kung Fu duel is a dumb beach game? We're not fighting? Lame! I'm okay with that.
Let's kick these old-timers' butts! FAN TONG: Ow.
Huh? Oh, boy.
How do you know Jindiao? Funny story, actually.
He's kind of my nemesis.
He took my chi and kicked me through a hole in the floor.
And now he's creepin' on my students.
He's just an overall a bad guy.
With quite a few villain qualities.
Probably the "twists his mustache in private" type.
Yes! Such a villain.
If I ever get out of here, I will get sweet, sweet revenge.
Then I will return to my comfortable life of torturing souls whose life choices were dubious at best.
Totally.
So, are we gonna eat some dumplings or what? 'Cause, I mean, as long as we're here may as well Time out! I think we should use our Hero Chi.
Now we're talkin'.
Is that legal? They didn't say it wasn't, so by my standards, yep, totally legal.
As long as the ball doesn't touch our paws we should be fine.
Guys, remember what got us here.
We were chosen.
Their time is over.
This is our time.
Now let's go out there and take it! ALL: Yeah! Maybe I like sports now.
BLUE DRAGON: Your serve! It is about time you made things interesting.
Hmm? -They're getting tired.
We're getting tired.
Everybody know the play? I got this.
Bao's paw touched the ball.
Bao, is that true? What? No.
Yeah, it is.
Sorry, guys.
Game over.
Okay, so we lost.
Maybe you guys are more equipped for the job, but, unfortunately, we're all you've got.
And while you've made it clear you don't have much faith in us, any chance is better than none.
Yeah, just let us go back and do something.
Anything.
Something! Oh, Bao already said that.
We will give you one more chance.
After all, you are trying to save the world.
Perhaps, an intellectual test.
The quill is often mightier than the sword.
And that is coming from a sword guy.
We accept.
To get to the end, you must return to the beginning.
What was lost, must now be found, for inside you will not find a pit, but instead a Wellspring.
Answer that riddle, and we will tell you how to defeat him.
This must have something to do with the Wellspring since it is literally mentioned in the riddle.
Great detective work, sis.
What have we lost? Besides my mind.
Not find a pit? What has a pit? Hey, we kind of fell into a pit in the temple going after the Peach.
A peach has a pit.
The Wellspring is in the Peach! Sorry, I got excited.
Hmm.
Well done.
We had to hide the Wellspring, when Bunnidharma did not show up with the Spirit Urn.
To protect it from Jindiao.
And the Peach seemed like a good place since we knew the Pandas would be keeping an eye on it.
I feel like this might go quicker if we didn't trade off WHITE TIGER: Sentences.
Sorry.
Only the energy of the Wellspring is powerful enough to trap a being as strong as Jindiao.
So how do we access h the Wellspring? With the same series of Kung Fu forms we used to hide it.
So, uh, if you guys could teach us those forms, that would also be great.
We already have.
You saw the moves when we used them during the game.
Dang! You guys are good.
With these forms, you will be able to open the Wellspring and access its power.
You can then channel the energy through yourselves, and collectively blast it at Jindiao.
And then what? And then, his soul will be ejected from his body, and sucked into the Spirit Urn forever.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Now, go and finish what we could not.
I like you, Yaoguai.
And I like you, Tubby Bear.
You remind me of my former best friend Ragnar, who groped in the darkness with me when we were sightless grubs in the belly of our mother Shezu the Skinless.
Yeah, that's gonna give me nightmares.
Make me a promise, we will escape together, no matter what.
You got it, buddy.
Where I go, you Huh? Tubby Tubby bear! PANDAS: Master Po, wake up! Master Po, wake up! We know how to activate the Wellspring.
That was not the journey I was expecting.
Where did you go, Master Po? To a restaurant.
Really Ever go on a really bad blind date, but the food was good? Oh, yeah.
Let's go activate that Wellspring.
Well, well, well.
Uh, going somewhere? It's always the last cave you check.