Les Norton (2019) s01e10 Episode Script

1 You're part of the set-up now.
You know that, right? Don't worry about me.
I'm just passing through.
They're gorgeous.
This is very unlike you.
- Where'd you get 'em? - You know Uh, no.
Why now? I'll get back to you on that.
You are pure vermin.
Ohh! Oh! - Aagh! - Yah! Jesus Christ, I'm not exactly in the same position I was before.
- What position's that? - The tides have turned, mate.
Peak hour.
Make him an offer that only a cop can.
Immunity? For murder? I don't want to throw around words like 'immunity' unless I know what else is on the table.
DOLORES: Where's my sister's body at? I guess this time, we're going dry.
LES: She's in Bondi! Under Price's handball court.
His old fella's ground to dust and he's still got his optimism.
What have you lost? Keys.
Your Rolls-Royce car keys are down there.
What, in the footings of my new handball court, next to the recently interred body of Doreen Bognor? Dolores is probably digging her up as we speak.
(HAWKERS SHOUT INDISTINCTLY) (SIREN WAILS) (ROULETTE WHEEL RATTLES) PRICE: You know, when I first started out, gambling was all about baccarat schools and, uh, Tommy's two-up in Chippendale.
Yeah, you know, all this rattle here, this all this came later.
Yeah, I've ridden the ups, I've ridden the downs.
Yet here I am, bloody last man standing.
And you know why? 'Cause you're Price Galese, boss.
The prince of the punt.
Oh, God bless you, Billy, but, no.
No, the thing that's always stood me in good stead, you know, helped me steer me way through when others have crashed against the rocks, it's, um Oh, it's something Georgie's father taught me in the early days.
He said, "The difference between a good gambler and a great one "is a good gambler knows when to cash in on a run.
And a great gambler knows when the run's up.
" Now, you know, I'm not gonna let her take you lot down with me, so, um Look I wish it was more, but, um, there should be enough there to put a little bit of distance between you and them for a bit.
LES: Huh! Fair dinkum.
I wish you'd told me this before I started.
Come again? I thought I was working for the most feared boss in Sydney.
From where I'm standing, you couldn't knock the froth off a cappuccino.
BILLY: Hey Backing out at the first sign of trouble.
I've cracked farts with more character than you lot.
Les It's just the cock-chafe talking, boss.
That's all.
Speaking of cracking, are you forgetting who dropped us in this shit in the first place? In the first place? Well, I'm looking at him, aren't I? Hey, hey, hey, hey, look, we all know you've had a tough day, son.
You know, nobody's gonna blame you for not grasping the severity of the situation.
- Which is? - Which is that Eddie and I are odds-on to get, uh, pinched for murder, to which you're an accessory.
So, once they find Doreen's body, it's, um it's goodnight, nurse, for all three of us.
There's your answer, then.
BILLY: What? What, none of youse ever saw Murder, She Wrote? No body, no crime.
But there is a body, you fuckin' nimrod.
And thanks to you, Dolores and Thumper know exactly where it's at.
Then we get to it first.
It's a two-horse race.
It's us versus them.
Now, they're odds-on favourites at this point.
But any punter worth their salt will tell you a two-horse race can go one of two ways.
We've just got to get to Doreen's body before they do.
Oh, yeah, and how do you suggest we do that? She is under 10 feet of concrete.
Bloody Thumper would get to us before we even got the jackhammers off the truck.
Then we improvise.
Look, I've had a lousy, ordinary 24 hours.
And we're staring down the barrel of hard time.
So, if you don't like the sound of that, I suggest we start getting creative.
It's time for the Gecko.
The what? The fuckin' Gecko.
What do you mean "We can't just dig her up"? THUMPER: I mean we have to go through the proper channels, otherwise it won't stand up in court.
There are protocols around exhuming a body, you know? Protocols my arse.
I should be able to just grab a shovel, and have at it, 'cause she's my sister.
Yeah, exactly, which is why we have to make sure that we do it right.
Alright? We don't want to let Price off the hook, not now that we've got him over a barrel.
Eh? Look we are on the cusp of burying that slimy Maltese fuck like he buried your sister.
And all 100% by the book.
No, see, that's what makes me nervous.
Nothing good is ever done by the book.
Well, you just watch and learn, Pumpkin.
I've got the Coroner on speed dial.
We'll talk first thing in the morning.
And then it's just a matter of a few feet of concrete until we are crowned king and queen of Sydney.
And in the meantime, well, we do have a few avocados still up our sleeve.
You don't put 'em up your sleeve, Sergeant.
(SQUELCHING) Really? What? Mate, I've got to get a head start on Mr Wobbly so I can get him back on track.
You'll be in strife once that flatmate of yours discovers you've nicked her paw-paw cream.
Oh, don't worry about it.
She's gone away for the weekend.
And, besides it's for a good cause.
That's highly debatable.
So Tell me about this mysterious Gecko fella.
Well, where do I start? Major Garrick Lewis, SAS bomb specialist.
Met him back in 'Nam in '69.
He did a bit of wetwork with the Yanks in Laos and Cambodia.
A decade of opium dens, Agent Orange, napalm sunsets.
Can you imagine? (CHUCKLES) Bloody hell.
Lives up in the Hunter now, blowing holes in the ground for open-cut mines.
He's the best boom-boom goon in the room, they reckon.
Deadset fuckin' artist.
- Well, he sounds perfect.
- Ooh, yeah.
Keep him in line and he's just the bloke to get us out of our little pickle.
(CACKLES) Keep him in line? How? Relax, Les.
Bloke's just got a few demons, that's all.
- Such as? - (LAUGHS) G'day, Major.
Right.
Bring my kit inside when you come, will you, lad? (GROANS) Ohh What? The Gecko's decided to set up HQ at your joint.
Oh.
He has, has he? And when were you gonna share that intel with me? What's your problem? It's close to the contact zone.
It was your idea, after all.
Pig's arse it was! Why doesn't he stay at Billy's? He's got a spare room out the back.
Forget Billy.
He's got his hands full with security detail.
- PIA: Hey! - SIAN: Come on! - PIA: Billy! - SIAN: Billy! - Billy - Hello! Come on! So, what about you? He's your mate.
Nothing would make me happier, Les.
But I've got a full dance card in preparation for the big event.
How convenient.
You should be honoured to put the Gecko up for the night.
He's the only thing standing between us and an extended stay at Her Majesty's pleasure, OK? Fair dinkum.
(GROANS) Oh, Les? Don't let him out of your sight.
He's not good when he gets a little bit distracted, if you know what I mean.
No, Edward.
I don't know what you mean.
- (THUMPS CAR) - Less yakkin', more whackin', ladies.
Charlie won't wait all day.
No worries, Major.
Righto, well have fun, boys.
My word, we will.
Step fast, soldier! (TYRES SCREECH) (DOOR CLOSES) There he is.
The walking wounded.
You right there, son? Yeah.
Nothing a little R&R won't fix.
That's the spirit.
Just place it down there, will ya? Travel light, do you, Major? Well, I don't plan on being stationed here long.
It's just the essentials.
Yeah, I do the same thing when I go pig shooting.
Just jocks, socks and a razor, eh? Primers, timers and det cord, actually.
As you were, soldier.
She's safe as houses without the ordnance.
So, uh So, where's the ordnance? The devil's Play-Doh.
Plastic fantastic.
Weapons-grade C4, straight out of Chechnya.
Good stuff.
Uh, you reckon that's gonna get the job done? Well, if that doesn't this certainly will.
NARRATOR: Now, Les wasn't much of an expert on blowing shit up.
But he'd seen enough movies to know that he had enough Chechen C4 on his kitchen table to redraw the map of the eastern suburbs.
That's, uh That's a fair bit, isn't it? Well, better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
First rule of special ops.
Now, do us a favour and put a brew on, will you, son? Yeah.
Uh So, you're just just planning on leaving it there? Well, is that a problem? Nah, nah.
It's it's just my flatmate, she's a she's a bit of a neat freak.
You're not a hippie, are you, Les? Not last time I looked.
I I hope not.
Not real big on hippies.
Roger.
I just spoke with Arthit.
He's already got the jackhammers on the truck.
He's headed to Bondi now.
Well, you'd better tell him to cool his jets.
There's been a, uh Well, there's been a slight hitch.
No! No, there's no hitch.
Well, it's the Coroner.
I can't get a hold of him.
What are you talking about, Ray? You said you had him on speed dial.
Yeah, I do.
But it's no good if he's not picking up, is it? Another shampoo, Coroner? I don't mind if I do.
Raymond, you said we'd be good to start digging with a flick of that fucker's pen.
We will, honestly, trust me.
It's just I've just got to find him.
I have to admit, Price, as far as these last-minute invites go, this is right up there! DOLORES: You can't just hang around and wait for the dopey prick to show up.
Tell me you've got a next move! I do, I do have a next move.
It's just a little bit trickier, that's all.
Your sister's body is buried in the footings of an existing structure on a piece of leasehold land, right? What?! Just spit it out, Ray! - Alright, then, your sister - What?! is buried on council land! - There, I said it! - Oh, dear God! Jesus! If I wanted a line, I would have done one in the car.
How about you whip out some of that police shit? "Freeze! Let me through!" You don't think that's a bit much? "I'm not gonna wait in this line, 'cause I'm a cop, cops are tops.
"Fuck off, the rest of you.
" - Go, just do something like that.
- Okay.
Okay, you watch this.
- Uh, g'day, mate.
- Can I help you? Yes, I hope so, Sergeant Ray Burrell from King's Cross.
Are you the, um you the boss here? - I am he.
- Excellent.
Look, I need a dig permit expedited as a matter of great urgency.
Of course, Sergeant.
I'd be happy to help out.
Oh, thank you.
You understand, it's a bit, uh, you know, time-sensitive.
- Say no more.
- Right.
- There you go.
- Good.
That one.
And, uh, that one.
And, uh So, the top one's the environmental impact statement.
Under that's the occupation health and safety memorandum.
Then the D54 form, parts A and B, public liability waivers, NDAs, IRAs, IRBs Just the usual.
Yeah, look, um (CLEARS THROAT) I don't know if I've made myself very clear here, Mr, um? - Duffy.
- Mr Duffy! Terrific.
Look, I'm not normally one to, you know, jump the line, but you need to understand that this is, uh Well, it's essential police business.
And this (TAPS) is essential council business.
B32? Look, Mr Duffy, um, look, uh, I'm sure you've been round the block a few times, as have I, so I know how this kind of thing works, you understand? I fully understand if you want to play hard ball and snaffle yourself up a bigger drink, that's fair play to you.
But could you please just put on your big-boy pants and tell me what I need to do to just speed things up a bit? Well, Sergeant, you could start by filling these out.
Oh, Pumpkin! Don't "Pumpkin" me, you pathetic waste of jizz.
You can't even sell a sling to a fellow public servant.
You're a bloody disgrace to the uniform.
Well, how is that my fault? I mean, believe it or not, there are actually honest public servants out there, just eating away at the rest of us like cancer.
- Oh! - What are you gonna do? What I should have done from the start.
GECKO: Ground Zero, eh? Where's our friend hiding out, then? Just underneath the south-east footing, right under where them girls are playing handball, right now.
Roger that.
We'll call this base.
Outside the blast zone, good line of sight, tickety-boo.
That give you a bit of grief, does it? Oh, now and then.
Adrenaline makes it throb like a mongrel.
Shit.
Must be hard, being reminded of the war all the time.
Eh? Oh, I'm sorry, I just Eddie mentioned youse were in 'Nam together.
I just assumed it happened over there.
What, this thing? Oh, God, no.
Nah, blew it off excavating my pool a few years back.
Yeah, my block sits on sandstone.
Just overcooked the goose a little.
Bugger.
Yeah, she's good and deep now, but.
Got a diving board and everything.
Let's have a look inside the wire, then, shall we? Come on, on me.
NARRATOR: Now, ever since arriving in the old Steak and Kidney, Les had been hanging to go back to Dirranbandi.
But right about now, he was starting to wonder what the weather was like in Cuba this time of year, or Russia, or North Korea, anywhere but Bondi Beach, Australia.
So, uh, what do you reckon? Doable? Mate, if we had a few more weeks, this thing'd come down on its own accord.
I mean, take a look at that shoddy workmanship, would you? Hold hold up! It's not that bad, is it? Not that bad?! Mate, I could bring down this entire footing in 15 minutes with a knife and fork.
Not that bad! (CRUMBLING) Still, seeing as we're here, might as well make sure of it, right? Uh Quick question, chief.
You're not planning on doing this right now, today, are you? Mate, I was always taught, "He who hesitates shouldn't have.
" Yeah, yeah, even so, mate, um, midday at Australia's most popular beach.
Your point? Mate, it's chockers, there's people everywhere.
And there's people up there, there's people just there.
Well, what can I tell you, Les? - War is hell.
- Mate, this isn't war, it's Bondi.
Hey, no-one's dying on my watch.
I tell you what, why don't we come back tonight? - Why would I do that? - Because you're an artist, yeah? You blow it now, who cares? Come back tonight when it's nice and dark and quiet, suddenly, it's New Year's Eve.
What do you say, mate? You can give 'em a proper show.
Oh, Les, I wouldn't have pegged you as a romantic.
But, yeah, alright.
We'll come back tonight.
Light the place up good and proper, yeah? Yeah.
That's the spirit.
Give us time for a couple of frothy ones this arvo.
Yeah, good-o.
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi, it's Georgie Burman.
I've thought about what we talked about.
We need to meet.
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) GEORGIE: I have what you need to bring down Thumper.
But I'll need something in return.
Fine.
I happen to have some photos I think Price might find very useful.
They're all yours as a show of good faith.
I'll also need immunity.
- Yeah, I'm sure that can be arranged.
- For everyone.
For everyone? (CHUCKLES) That might be tough.
So is exposing high-level police corruption.
These photos would have to be entree to a mouth-watering main course.
You mean like a ledger detailing years of protection money paid by a certain illegal casino operator to a certain King's Cross Senior Sergeant? Is that tasty enough for you? GECKO: So, how'd you get involved in all this nonsense, anyway? Can you believe it? I'm the nuffy who laid the footings.
(LAUGHS) Oh, mate, I hope you've got a fall-back career.
Anything but, to be honest.
Yeah, well, it's not your fault, is it? You're just a grunt, doing what you're told.
You can say that again.
So, I guess, after we get rid of this body, you'll be off the hook, then, eh? You can go back home with a clear conscience, start all over again, if that's what you want.
That is what you want, isn't it, Les? What do you mean? Mate, I went to Vietnam in '63.
Absolutely hated it.
The people, the food, the heat, the fuckin' dogs everywhere! Just wasn't my cup of tea at all.
So? So, fast forward to 1975, they had to drag me off the roof of the US Embassy at gunpoint.
So, what, you you didn't want to give up? Mate, I didn't want to leave.
Those 12 years in South-East Asia changed me in ways I never saw coming.
It was more home than home, you know what I mean? (PHONE RINGS) NARRATOR: If it was meant to help, the Gecko's little chat about going home had Les feeling about as clear as mud.
Luckily, he had just one thing to focus on, or so he thought.
Les here.
I need you to pick up something for Price.
Yeah, I I can't really right now.
Can Billy do it? Billy's got his hands full with the girls.
I'm bailed up with the Gecko at the moment, getting ready for cracker night.
- Can it wait? - No, it can't.
Miranda Fair car park, top floor, 30 minutes.
Bring it to the club, once you have it.
Hey, Major, fancy a a quick trip to the shops? Oh, truth be told, I'm a little knackered, mate.
Might just knock this off and put my foot up for a few hours.
- You sure? - Yeah, yeah.
- It'll only take an hour? - No, no, no, you go, you go.
A little nap'll do me good for tonight.
Copy that.
Ah, bugger.
(DOOR OPENS) What'd you forget? Oh, hello.
You must be the neat freak? Well, I have been called worse.
Uh, I'm Loz.
Garrick Lewis, I'm a mate of Les's.
Right, well, I won't hold that against you.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I thought you were him.
No, I'm not.
Well, he told me you were away on business.
Yeah, I was meant to be.
I I tied one on last night, then I flew to Perth at the crack of dawn this morning for an ad shoot.
And you're back already? Shoot was in Brisbane.
Whoopsie me.
(CHUCKLES) Bugger.
Yep, so, look, here I am, I'm footloose, I'm fancy-free.
I figured I would kick back with some vino and watch a little bit of Wide World of Sports.
Do you like sports, Garrick? Well, I like vino.
How fortuitous.
Sorry, I was expecting someone else.
Yeah, you and me both.
Uh, so, apparently, I'm picking something up for Price? Hope you know what you're doing, Em.
Oh, God, give me a break.
I'm serious.
You cross that line, there's no going back.
Yeah, and you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? I'm not the one making car park drops for the Mr Big of Sydney.
No, you just work for him.
Not for long.
Just keep telling yourself that, Les.
- Eventually, you'll believe it.
- It's the truth.
Em, you step through that door, and it locks behind you forever.
- You know that, right? - I'm a cop, Les.
I'm just doing my job.
- You get that, yeah? - Yeah, course I do.
Didn't realise extortion was part of your job description.
Why do you care? Why do you think? Since I met you, I pegged you as one of the straight ones.
From what I've seen, it made you as rare as rocking-horse shit.
Yeah? Well, I pegged you as a knockabout country bloke who'd soon get tired of the city bullshit and go on home while he still could.
Guess we were both off the mark.
Come tomorrow, it won't matter anyway.
- Did you take a look? - Are you kidding? The less I know, the better.
Now, if you don't mind, I've got a house guest to attend to.
(PHONE RINGS) This is Price.
Now, before you say anything, I just need you to hear me out.
Georgie! You always said a plan is only as good as its plan B, right? Well, I think I found us one, in case the Gecko doesn't pan out.
Yeah? What sort of plan B? A photographic variety.
Oh, photos of what, exactly? Your mate, the Minister, at least I think it's him.
A bit hard to tell with a ball-gag jammed in his mouth.
But there's no mistaking Dolores.
(CHUCKLES) Is that right? Look, this goes pear-shaped, we're gonna need all the mates we can get.
Hey, meet me at Rose Bay wharf, in about 20 minutes.
Copy.
(PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS) Hello, Gladys, it's Price Galese here.
Is the Minister in, please? Oh Oh, and what fancy trough has he got his, uh, nose in today? (CLAPPING AND CHANTING) What a bloody madhouse.
Look at all these tackers running around.
You don't have kids, do you? Nah, but I've always felt, like, quite maternal.
Get off, you grub! So, as I was saying, next time you come in, you'll have to schedule for a full afternoon.
Goodness me, I don't know if I can afford that on my humble public servant's salary.
Don't be silly, Minister.
It's on me, of course.
You do mean physically I hope? You dirty perv.
Nah, yeah, of course I mean physically.
And if you play your cards right, as a special treat, I may even open the goat's fold.
What do you have to say about that? I don't know whether to be flattered or frightened.
I'd be both.
In the meantime, I was hoping you could just help me, real quick, with a little issue I'm having at the local council.
- What sort of issue? - Oh, just a dig permit that I need.
I just need it, like, ASAP! Should I ask why? I wouldn't.
But I was hoping you could just hop on the phone, make a few quick calls.
A guy like you must have 10 billion favours owing in this city? Oh, yeah, I know I know a few people.
I don't normally stoop to interfering in council business.
I'm sure, for you, I could make an exception.
Oh, and that's how Sydney works, kids.
Well, isn't this lovely?! Two old mates catching up for lunch.
Oh, I don't know if I'd call us mates.
Really? ('HAVA NAGILA' PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND) What are they, then? Come on, cobber, how long have we known each other? Yeah, that's my point exactly, so I suggest you go back to work and, uh, remember who you're working for.
I'll give you a hint, it's not the good people of New South Wales.
Now, fuck off.
('HAVA NAGILA' CONTINUES) Yeah, I'd enjoy that if I were you.
I don't think they serve it in Long Bay.
Oh, speak for yourself.
It's a bit hard to talk when you're head's no longer attached to your neck.
This is 1985, old man.
In case you haven't noticed, you're the past, and I'm the bloody beautiful future.
So, I guess that makes you the new me, does it? Listen, can you just piss off? Because I'm really busy putting the finishing touches on ending your pathetic career.
- (CLICK!) - Not so fast, sweetheart.
If you're referring to your long lost sister, uh, my boys might have a thing or two to say about that.
Hey, why don't we motor down to Bondi right now, and we can grab front row seats? - What do you say? - MAN: Mazeltov! - (PRICE CHUCKLES) - Come on, get in there, love birds! Yeah, yeah, come on, get in, hubby.
- Ah! - Yeah, that's the ticket.
Yeah, I love this guy.
Make sure you get plenty of photos of us.
Be a bit silly to shoot me now, wouldn't it? Oh, we got plenty of time for that.
You reckon? 'Cause the next time we see each other, one of us is gonna be dead.
I'll give you a hint.
It's the one without an amazing rack.
Oh, look at you two.
Gorgeous! Yeah.
You know who else is gorgeous? My daughter.
Oh, she's a real lens whore.
Let me show you where she's at.
Hey, where's Penelope? Come on.
Oh, that's right! Alright, kids, who knows the Running Man? Well, I'm the Running Woman.
NARRATOR: So, just as Les had predicted, it had come down to a two-horse race, rounding the final bend, and towards the post, with the winner taking all.
What the fuck just happened in there?! Price's boys are retrieving the body themselves! - Wait, what? - So, dig now, ask questions later! - Get in! - Alright! That the lot, is it? Unless you got anything heavier.
Nah, I reckon that's it.
Actually, come to think of it, chuck in a can of black spray-paint while you're at it.
Matt or gloss? Surprise me.
Yeah, sure.
EMILY: Get ready to be happy.
The bookkeeper's gonna play ball.
In return for what? Exactly as we discussed, immunity for her and her colleagues.
Well, then, she's gonna be very disappointed.
Excuse me? The brass aren't comfortable cutting that deal.
What the fuck are you talking about? This was your suggestion.
I gave them my word! This is out of my hands.
He knows who I am! He knows I'm the rat.
And if I find that you've gone against my orders, he won't be the only one you're looking over your shoulder for.
NARRATOR: So, with daylight fading fast, Les returned to Chez Norton to get the little bomb-maker primed for the big night ahead.
Oi, Major? Major? You in here? Oi! - (GROANS) - What are you doin' home? Uh Well, actually, I live here.
Remember? You haven't seen a one-legged warmonger in your travels, have you? You mean the Gecko? Thank Christ.
Thought I'd lost the old bugger.
Where is he? Look, I don't know, actually, I just came to.
What do you mean? What what did you do with him? I didn't do anything with him! We had a few bevvies, then one thing just led to another and we found ourselves in a very competitive game of Goon of Fortune.
Come again? Goon of Fortune! Ah! Okay, so (SIGHS) You spin the clothes line.
And then whoever that goon bag lands on, well, they have to skull.
And, I guess, he won.
Or did he? (LAUGHS) NARRATOR: Now, Eddie Salita wasn't the superstitious type.
But a night this big called for his lucky jacket.
(PHONE RINGS) Go for Eddie? Yeah, the Gecko's gone.
For fuck's sake, Les, I told you to keep a close eye on him.
How am I meant to do that? I've been running around for Georgie all arvo.
Oh, well, he couldn't have gone far.
In fact, I reckon I know exactly where he's gone.
And how do you know that? It's what I was trying to tell you before.
Gecko's got a bit of a problem when it comes to the sauce.
It's what got him kicked out of the service, years back.
He'd start sinking schooners in the officers' bar and then he'd just start blowing shit up, buildings, latrines, tanks, you name it.
But then, when he levelled the officers' bar, itself, that's when they gave him his marching orders.
So, if he's got a skin full now, you can bet there's only one thing on his mind.
Mate, what the hell are you doing? - (JACKHAMMERS RATTLE) - What the fuck? They can't do that, can they? Apparently, they can.
Hey, hey, stick this on your face, soldier.
We're operational.
What the hell do we do now? That is the beauty of the chain of command.
You just ask questions and then you follow the orders.
Here.
Uh hello.
EDDIE: How good's this, eh? Two birds with one stone? Listen, we have to talk to Price first.
We can't do this.
Already have, Les.
He reckons we couldn't have planned it better if we tried.
(CACKLES) Listen to me, listen to me.
One of those guys is a high-ranking New South Wales police officer.
Yeah, yeah, and the other one is a sex-trafficking psychopath.
Yeah, it it doesn't matter, Major.
Murder's murder.
It's too late to get cold feet now, soldier.
Right? The train has already left the station.
And it's and it's carrying quite a cargo.
Can't can't you just turn it off? Uh, no can do.
The primers have already been triggered.
All there is left to do now is sit back and enjoy the show.
('HEAVEN (MUST BE THERE)' BY THE EUROGLIDERS PLAYS) You've got to be jokin'.
That's enough, Sarge! Ooooh Oi! I want to find a better place Ooooh, ooh (MUFFLED SCREAMING) (MUFFLED) What the fuck, Les?! (MUFFLED SHOUTING CONTINUES) Incoming! (BEEPING) (SILENCE) (RAPID BEEPING) (MOUTHS) What the fuck? Must be there Fuuuck! I've never Never seen Eden (DEBRIS WHISTLES THROUGH THE AIR) I don't wanna live in this place EDDIE: Kissed on the dick! Ooooh, ooh I'm always trying to escape (LAUGHS) Might have overcooked that one a bit too, eh? (LAUGHS) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You might just want to sit back down there, darlin'.
Grab me kit, will you, son? (GECKO LAUGHS) I don't wanna live in this place - (SIRENS WAIL) - Heaven Must be there Well, it's just got to Catch you later.
(CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) Yeah (JANGLING) Fuck.
Fuuuck Good to go? Do I look alright? Okay.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY) Many are asking who the Palestinian Zionist League is, with terrorism experts scratching their heads at the unexpected alliance between seemingly pro- and anti-Israeli factions.
Nonetheless, with law and order high on voters' lists of concerns, pollsters are expecting it to resonate heavily in today's election, with a lurch back towards the status quo viewed as likely.
NARRATOR: Seeing Bondi looking more like Beirut, Les realised it was high time to make good on his promise, and get the hell out of town as fast as his bowlegs would carry him.
(ON TV) At which point, Sergeant Ray Burrell pursued the suspected terrorist, one Dolores Ann Bognor, down onto the handball court.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Unfortunately, the suspect, upon realising she was surrounded, triggered the detonator and Senior Sergeant Burrell died in the ensuing conflagration.
A funeral with full police honours has been confirmed.
('OVERKILL' BY COLIN HAY PLAYS) I can't get to sleep I think about the implications Of diving in too deep And possibly the complications Especially at night I worry over situations I know will be alright Perhaps it's just imagination Day after day, it reappears - (LOCKER DOOR SLAMS) - Night after night My heartbeat shows the fear Voilà.
Ghosts appear and fade away Hey, where's Les? It's unlike him to be late.
Well, especially when there's a drink involved.
Yeah, and especially when it's bloody free.
Hey By the way, you've never told me where you got those, uh, revealing photos of the Minister from.
Hmm.
Why? They did the trick, didn't they? Yeah, no questions there.
Bloody Thumper would've had half the New South Wales Police Force digging away if the Minister had signed off on that bloody permit.
Well, then that's all that matters.
Oi, Billy.
Turn it up.
Boss! The results are in.
Here we go, here we go The public have opted for the devil they know.
A remarkable turnaround for the government, who were trailing for the entire lead-up to the election.
Yes! Got it back! Oh! Yes, yes! We are back in business, ladies and gentlemen, back in business.
Ghosts appear and fade away Come back another day (GROANS) I am serious about coming up to visit.
Yeah, I figured you'd miss me.
I was thinking more of Muzza.
Why does that not surprise me? Thanks for everything, Loz.
Nah, I come down here in a bit of strife, you know, and I can't tell you how much it helped to know there was always someone who was worse off than me.
(CHUCKLES) Well it's what I do.
I can't get to sleep I think about the implications See you round, Les Norton.
Of divin' in too deep - Oi! - And possibly the complications Keep it.
In case you miss me.
As if, dickhead.
I know will be alright It's just overkill Day after day, it reappears (STARTS ENGINE) Night after night, my heartbeat shows the fear Ghosts appear and fade away Ghosts appear and fade away (SIGHS) Ghosts appear and - (KNOCKS) - Fade away Uh hi.
Hi.
Didn't mean to crash your party.
Oh, no, I I'm just getting started.
Can I pour you a glass? Oh, I probably shouldn't, you know? I've got a got a big drive ahead of me.
Where to? Oh.
Yeah.
No, I figured it was about that time.
Right.
Well, I've been threatening it long enough.
You know, I didn't want everyone to think I was full of shit.
Oh, a bit late for that now, isn't it? (LAUGHS) No, look, uh, before I shoot, you know, I just really wanted to apologise for what I said to you yesterday in the car park.
Forget it, um I probably said a few harsh things myself.
No, no, you were you were spot-on.
I just really wanted to Well, I didn't see that comin'.
Yeah, you did.
You were saying something about the drive home.
What? Oh, yeah.
Um So, how how far is it? Home? Uh, it's about uh, 12 hours, if I get a wriggle on.
12 hours.
OK.
So, I guess 15 minutes won't make much of a difference, then? NARRATOR: When it came to the ladies, Les had often been accused of favouring quantity over quality.
But staring into Emily's eyes, he'd have happily traded all that came before for this one moment in time.
Only trouble was her suggestion of a quick game of 'hide the sausage' had three words banging around his brain.
'Paw-paw cream'.
Any other time, I would I would I would jump at that, but I - I really gotta make tracks.
- You what? Just look me up if you're ever up my way, yeah? Um (CLEARS THROAT) Uh sure, yeah, OK.
Um you you too.
Hooroo.
Shit.
(DOG BARKS NEARBY) (STARTS ENGINE) - EDDIE: Watch out, it's gonna blow.
- BILLY: Hey! Now, I'm not gonna lie to you, boys and girls.
It was bloody rough-going there for a while.
We were taking on more water than we could bail out.
But, you know, somehow, we managed to stay the course.
And now we're in the open ocean, with the wind at our backs.
It's given us the opportunity to dream, to dream bigger than we ever have before.
And I tell you, I have been dreaming big.
- (LAUGHS) - Mm.
- (DOORBELL RINGS) - I got it.
Don't worry, don't worry.
Hurry back, Billy.
- The suspense is killing me.
- (CHUCKLES) Listen now to the wind, babe Listen now to the rain I feel that water lickin' at my feet again I don't wanna see this town no more Wastin' my days on a factory floor First thing you know I'll be back in Bow River Again ('BOW RIVER' BY COLD CHISEL CONTINUES ON CAR RADIO) Any time you want, babe (COINS RATTLE) You can come around (CLICKING) - Bastard - Only six days separates me And the great Top End - (HORN BLARES) - Yeah (SHOUTS) Righto, mate! 12 hours a day And the money I saved won't buy my youth again You trying to tell me something, big fella? I'm goin' for the heat, babe And the tropical rain - In a place where no man's - (HORN BLARES) Puttin' on the dog for me I'm waitin' on the weekend Set of brand-new tyres I'm back in Bow River, just can't MUZZA: Tell you what, she pulled down a big, um nice big boar, two days ago.
Cut the back leg of it - and you ate it all, didn't ya? - (WHINES) Don't know where fuckin' Les is.