Metalocalypse (2006) s01e10 Episode Script
Fatklok
- Maybe WiIbur - Shut up! Damn it, damn it! Shut up! Shut up, you crappy aIarm! Oh, yeah, PickIes! - PickIes wakes up just Iike everyone eIse! - What the heII are you peopIe doing here?! - Hi, PickIes! - Oh, God! I forgot.
- WiII you be the father of my kids?! - I hate Fan Day.
~ Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ DethkIok, DethkIok DethkIok, DethkIok ~ ~ I'II teach you ~ ~ Who rock ~ ~ DethkIok! DethkIok! ~ ~ Skwisgaar SkwigeIf TaIIer than a tree ~ ~ Toki Wartooth Not a bumbIe bee ~ ~ WiIIiam Murderface Murderface, Murderface ~ ~ PickIes the Drummer DoodiIy doo ~ ~ Ding-dong, DoodiIy doodiIy doo ~ ~ Nathan ExpIosion ~ It's being caIIed the ticket of the century.
Mordhaus, the home of DethkIok wiII be open to the pubIic for the first time in ceIebration of this year's InternationaI Dethfan Day.
Banks have cIosed because customers are withdrawing aII their Iife savings in an attempt to purchase one of these coveted tickets.
An officiaI statement from DethkIok caIIs this ''a psychotic day of insane ceIebration for reguIar jackoffs.
'' DethkIok is opening their home to their fans.
It seems that their popuIarity is stiII growing at an aIarming rate.
We get most of our DethkIok information by monitoring over 100,000 fan web sites the biggest of which being DiefordethkIok.
com run by the Jomfru brothers Eric and Edgar.
They dropped out of Harvard to become dedicated DethkIok fans.
Their web site aIone gets more hits than aII of South America.
We can interrogate them Iater and find out what's reaIIy inside Mordhaus.
Yes.
Hey, paIs! It's meFace Bones.
WeIcome to MordIand home of the internationaI metaI band DethkIok.
Now, we got a big Iist of dos and don'ts because we at MordIand Iike to run a reaIIy tight ship.
Remember: our snipers have new .
50 caIiber rifIes that can kiII you from aImost 3 miIes away.
And remember: deadIy force is authorized, so do not ever enter into And you have to use the restroom, make sure and don't go into the And remember: no recording devices or cameras wiII be aIIowed or your Iife wiII be terminated.
Now, DethkIok has decided to aIIow you to Iisten to one secret song to be pIayed one time onIy for you, the fans! Fan song! You hear that?! High-five! Why do I drink so much before stupid Fan Day? I beIieve you drink because it's Fan Day.
Don't taIk to me about that.
Wait, where's Skwisgaar? Oh, I don't think he's gonna be here for a whiIe.
He have a very big night with a very huge fan.
- Yeah, we were aII up Iate.
- Not me.
- I actuaIIy gots good rest.
- WiII you pIease just be quiet? What's wrong, PickIe? You just need to eat something.
Your name is PickIe.
Maybe you shouId try a pickIe-herring sandwich Famous from OsIo! Oh, yeah, PickIes! God! Everywhere I go, there's fans everywhere.
Can't I just throw up in my own house?! Oh, God! Don't! What are you, buIimia? Oh, great.
Now you're gonna start a whoIe chain reaction puke-a-thon.
Oh, bIood puke! Good song titIe.
Someone write that Oh.
That's right.
We aIready wrote that.
Good song though.
It shouId go back in the set Iist.
Oh.
I think I need another Iiver transpIant.
Prepare to see one of the greatest sights you've ever seen The fastest guitarist aIive in his naturaI habitat.
Need paper toweIs.
OK.
My face is stucks to the waII.
Oh, crap.
In order to keep Nathan ExpIosion heaIthy and because of the tremendous drinking it takes to entertain aII DethkIok fans Nathan must undergo a series of Iiver transpIants.
- Have you eaten anything this morning? - Nope.
- Are you sure? - I mean, yeah.
I mean, no.
OK.
Anesthesia, pIease.
Hey, guys! It's me, Face Bones! Now is the time you've aII been waiting for your very own excIusive, super duper excIusive fan song and one-time-onIy song video! RoII it.
You peopIe out there give us something more than just record saIes you give us something to hate.
And we hate you, you brainIess mutants.
~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ You hunched and bIinded mutants Living in chat rooms ~ ~ You masturbate on the sheets ~ ~ Your mothers cIean for you ~ ~ You have Iined my pockets OverfIowed with goId ~ ~ You're Iiving with your parents And you're 35 years oId ~ ~ You're a bunch of banks That I'd Iike to rob ~ ~ You're my onIine cash transaction ~ ~ You're my future stocks Transfer you Iike money ~ ~ To a Swiss account Spend you on an impuIse buy ~ ~ And zero you aII out ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ I wouId Iike to get some sIeep ~ ~ But you keep buying aII our things ~ ~ My overhead is way too deep ~ ~ For us to not keep making these ~ ~ It's way too cynicaI, you see? ~ ~ Hating what's supporting me ~ ~ I am not you I thank the gods ~ ~ And if I were, I'd die Iike dogs ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ I'II be very gIad when this is over with.
If they onIy knew how much we hated them.
I mean, they just keep crawIing back Iike groveIing putrid stupid zombies that weII, just want to eat out brains that is our art.
- Hey, what are you doing? - He's in a wheeIchair, my Iords.
I did not know what to do.
That does not means you get free Iunch for entrance to everything.
We are the Jomfru brothers, proprietors of DiefordethkIok.
com.
ReaIIy? That's interesting.
What are you seIIing? You know, handicap stuff? No.
We want you to pay for a good review on our web site.
That's rich.
We are the fans.
We are the power.
Without us, your precious brutaIity means nothing.
Take a waIk before I kiII you.
Not so fast, Mr.
ExpIosion though I do appreciate your simpIistic views of smashing that which you don't understand.
Effective.
Oh, come on! Screw that Internet crap.
I mean, come on, what is the Internet, you know? SeriousIy.
What is the Internet? Perhaps you wiII give us more than a Iink when we debut this on our web site.
~ Hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ We've taken the Iiberty of appropriating your excIusive song which is ready to be hyperIinked and soId excIusiveIy on our web site with a singIe keystroke.
How about we have a Iink to the bottom of the stairs by me throwing you to the bottom of the stairs?! I think not.
We'II give you the song back when we get the money and not a moment before.
Oh, whenever.
So Where are you guys from? Sandusky, Ohio.
There's an amusement park there, right? Yes, there is an amusement park.
WeII, that's aIways fun.
Your money's way down there behind that door.
Can you see it? Hey, you better hurry up.
CIosing time is in two minutes.
AII the way over.
I'd serpentine if I were you.
It's showtime.
Why shouId we serpentine? Serpentine! Merci.
Bon café, Jean Pierre.
Thank you, my Iord.
You give us something to hate.
But we hate you, you brainIess mutants.
~ You hunched and bIinded mutants Living in chat rooms ~ ~ You masturbate on the sheets Your mothers cIean for you ~ ~ You have Iined my pockets OverfIowed with goId ~ ~ You're Iiving with your parents And you're 35 years oId ~ ~ You're a bunch of banks That I'd Iike to rob ~ ~ You're my onIine cash transaction ~ ~ You're my future stocks Transfer you Iike money ~ ~ To a Swiss account Spend you on an impuIse buy ~ ~ And zero you aII out ~
- WiII you be the father of my kids?! - I hate Fan Day.
~ Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ Do anything for DethkIok ~ ~ DethkIok, DethkIok DethkIok, DethkIok ~ ~ I'II teach you ~ ~ Who rock ~ ~ DethkIok! DethkIok! ~ ~ Skwisgaar SkwigeIf TaIIer than a tree ~ ~ Toki Wartooth Not a bumbIe bee ~ ~ WiIIiam Murderface Murderface, Murderface ~ ~ PickIes the Drummer DoodiIy doo ~ ~ Ding-dong, DoodiIy doodiIy doo ~ ~ Nathan ExpIosion ~ It's being caIIed the ticket of the century.
Mordhaus, the home of DethkIok wiII be open to the pubIic for the first time in ceIebration of this year's InternationaI Dethfan Day.
Banks have cIosed because customers are withdrawing aII their Iife savings in an attempt to purchase one of these coveted tickets.
An officiaI statement from DethkIok caIIs this ''a psychotic day of insane ceIebration for reguIar jackoffs.
'' DethkIok is opening their home to their fans.
It seems that their popuIarity is stiII growing at an aIarming rate.
We get most of our DethkIok information by monitoring over 100,000 fan web sites the biggest of which being DiefordethkIok.
com run by the Jomfru brothers Eric and Edgar.
They dropped out of Harvard to become dedicated DethkIok fans.
Their web site aIone gets more hits than aII of South America.
We can interrogate them Iater and find out what's reaIIy inside Mordhaus.
Yes.
Hey, paIs! It's meFace Bones.
WeIcome to MordIand home of the internationaI metaI band DethkIok.
Now, we got a big Iist of dos and don'ts because we at MordIand Iike to run a reaIIy tight ship.
Remember: our snipers have new .
50 caIiber rifIes that can kiII you from aImost 3 miIes away.
And remember: deadIy force is authorized, so do not ever enter into And you have to use the restroom, make sure and don't go into the And remember: no recording devices or cameras wiII be aIIowed or your Iife wiII be terminated.
Now, DethkIok has decided to aIIow you to Iisten to one secret song to be pIayed one time onIy for you, the fans! Fan song! You hear that?! High-five! Why do I drink so much before stupid Fan Day? I beIieve you drink because it's Fan Day.
Don't taIk to me about that.
Wait, where's Skwisgaar? Oh, I don't think he's gonna be here for a whiIe.
He have a very big night with a very huge fan.
- Yeah, we were aII up Iate.
- Not me.
- I actuaIIy gots good rest.
- WiII you pIease just be quiet? What's wrong, PickIe? You just need to eat something.
Your name is PickIe.
Maybe you shouId try a pickIe-herring sandwich Famous from OsIo! Oh, yeah, PickIes! God! Everywhere I go, there's fans everywhere.
Can't I just throw up in my own house?! Oh, God! Don't! What are you, buIimia? Oh, great.
Now you're gonna start a whoIe chain reaction puke-a-thon.
Oh, bIood puke! Good song titIe.
Someone write that Oh.
That's right.
We aIready wrote that.
Good song though.
It shouId go back in the set Iist.
Oh.
I think I need another Iiver transpIant.
Prepare to see one of the greatest sights you've ever seen The fastest guitarist aIive in his naturaI habitat.
Need paper toweIs.
OK.
My face is stucks to the waII.
Oh, crap.
In order to keep Nathan ExpIosion heaIthy and because of the tremendous drinking it takes to entertain aII DethkIok fans Nathan must undergo a series of Iiver transpIants.
- Have you eaten anything this morning? - Nope.
- Are you sure? - I mean, yeah.
I mean, no.
OK.
Anesthesia, pIease.
Hey, guys! It's me, Face Bones! Now is the time you've aII been waiting for your very own excIusive, super duper excIusive fan song and one-time-onIy song video! RoII it.
You peopIe out there give us something more than just record saIes you give us something to hate.
And we hate you, you brainIess mutants.
~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ You hunched and bIinded mutants Living in chat rooms ~ ~ You masturbate on the sheets ~ ~ Your mothers cIean for you ~ ~ You have Iined my pockets OverfIowed with goId ~ ~ You're Iiving with your parents And you're 35 years oId ~ ~ You're a bunch of banks That I'd Iike to rob ~ ~ You're my onIine cash transaction ~ ~ You're my future stocks Transfer you Iike money ~ ~ To a Swiss account Spend you on an impuIse buy ~ ~ And zero you aII out ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ ~ I wouId Iike to get some sIeep ~ ~ But you keep buying aII our things ~ ~ My overhead is way too deep ~ ~ For us to not keep making these ~ ~ It's way too cynicaI, you see? ~ ~ Hating what's supporting me ~ ~ I am not you I thank the gods ~ ~ And if I were, I'd die Iike dogs ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ ~ Die, die, die, die, die ~ I'II be very gIad when this is over with.
If they onIy knew how much we hated them.
I mean, they just keep crawIing back Iike groveIing putrid stupid zombies that weII, just want to eat out brains that is our art.
- Hey, what are you doing? - He's in a wheeIchair, my Iords.
I did not know what to do.
That does not means you get free Iunch for entrance to everything.
We are the Jomfru brothers, proprietors of DiefordethkIok.
com.
ReaIIy? That's interesting.
What are you seIIing? You know, handicap stuff? No.
We want you to pay for a good review on our web site.
That's rich.
We are the fans.
We are the power.
Without us, your precious brutaIity means nothing.
Take a waIk before I kiII you.
Not so fast, Mr.
ExpIosion though I do appreciate your simpIistic views of smashing that which you don't understand.
Effective.
Oh, come on! Screw that Internet crap.
I mean, come on, what is the Internet, you know? SeriousIy.
What is the Internet? Perhaps you wiII give us more than a Iink when we debut this on our web site.
~ Hate, hate, hate ~ ~ Hate, hate, hate, hate ~ We've taken the Iiberty of appropriating your excIusive song which is ready to be hyperIinked and soId excIusiveIy on our web site with a singIe keystroke.
How about we have a Iink to the bottom of the stairs by me throwing you to the bottom of the stairs?! I think not.
We'II give you the song back when we get the money and not a moment before.
Oh, whenever.
So Where are you guys from? Sandusky, Ohio.
There's an amusement park there, right? Yes, there is an amusement park.
WeII, that's aIways fun.
Your money's way down there behind that door.
Can you see it? Hey, you better hurry up.
CIosing time is in two minutes.
AII the way over.
I'd serpentine if I were you.
It's showtime.
Why shouId we serpentine? Serpentine! Merci.
Bon café, Jean Pierre.
Thank you, my Iord.
You give us something to hate.
But we hate you, you brainIess mutants.
~ You hunched and bIinded mutants Living in chat rooms ~ ~ You masturbate on the sheets Your mothers cIean for you ~ ~ You have Iined my pockets OverfIowed with goId ~ ~ You're Iiving with your parents And you're 35 years oId ~ ~ You're a bunch of banks That I'd Iike to rob ~ ~ You're my onIine cash transaction ~ ~ You're my future stocks Transfer you Iike money ~ ~ To a Swiss account Spend you on an impuIse buy ~ ~ And zero you aII out ~