Mighty Med (2013) s01e10 Episode Script

Okay, Tecton, you seem perfectly healthy.
Go ahead and change back into your suit.
Wow, that was fast.
It takes me, like, five minutes just to figure out which way to put on my underwear.
Dang it.
If all my tests are normal, why am I getting all these headaches? Could be stress.
Ever since megahertz escaped from mighty Max prison, you've had a lot on your tectonic plate.
You know what you could use? A me day? No, a sidekick.
A sidekick to support you and be there at your Beck and call.
Sounds interesting.
I'd have to find the right person for the job, but who? Ha, I don't know.
Someone loyal, someone brave.
Someone acutely aware of his surroundings.
Someone like him.
How would you like to be my sidekick? Yes.
Totally.
What? He gets to be your sidekick just because he saved me one time? Two times?  Every day's an adventure  you never know by the looks on our face   leave class early, work at 3:30   hit the comic store, read up before the journey   all these new issues and superpowers   if we didn't have to work, we'd be here for hours   everybody say that we shouldn't worry   but have you ever seen superheroes on a gurney?   will we save the world today?   you never know  will we all be safe today?  you never know  will we fly away or stay?  you never know  but you know we're mighty med, team up and let's go!   saving people that save people after classes   we flip the page then jump to action   they call us normo, normally fantastic   seeing superheroes that we only imagined   this type of life, you got to have fight   put up your fists and fight for what's right   never can tell, what we see is out of sight   do the same thing tomorrow that we did tonight   you never know, will we all be safe today?   you never know  will we fly away or stay?  You never know  but you know we mighty med  team up and let's go! Oh, it's Oliver, the sidekick.
Can someone help me, because somebody stabbed me in the back.
They should probably finish helping him first.
Yeah, well, my wound's deeper because it came from a friend.
I can't believe you're gonna be Tecton's sidekick.
You know that's always been my lifelong dream.
Oh, come on, that's never been your lifelong dream.
Oliver, I hear Tecton made you his sidekick.
You okay, kaz? I know that's always been your lifelong dream.
I don't even know why he picked you anyway.
You don't even have any powers.
Well, obviously, Tecton sees something in me, and I'm sorry, but I can't pass up this opportunity.
Fine.
Then I'm gonna take the one thing you care most about.
These hand sanitizers.
Oh, hey, Tecton, it's your sidekick, - reporting for duty.
- Excellent.
But before we begin, you must be sworn in with the traditional oath of heroes set forth by the elders of galtrax.
Repeat after me I swear by the elders of galtrax that I pledge my unending allegiance to aid and serve until evil and injustice are eradicated from the universe.
Should I say it in original galtraxian? (Speaking galtraxian) I'm good, thanks.
Zook carath.
So, what's my first assignment? Help rescue a normo in distress? Stop the London bridge from falling down, falling down, falling down? I need you to hand wash my uniforms.
Then go to my house and water my plants, and take my invisible dog to the invisible dog park.
What? But those are just chores.
Yeah.
What'd you think you were gonna do, battle super-villains? Yes.
If you wanted someone to do your errands, why were you looking for someone brave? You'll need to be brave to water my plants.
They're man-eating plants.
Oh, also, feed my plants.
I cannot believe it.
I heard a very distressing rumor today.
That I'm dating a supermodel? No.
Oh.
Because that's a rumor I'm trying to start.
Well, this one is just as hard to believe.
I heard that Oliver is now Tecton's sidekick.
No way.
That can't be.
Later on the broadcast, details on the appointment of a normo named Oliver as Tecton's sidekick.
First, the weather.
On the sun, mostly sunny with increasing sunniness during the week.
What?! Why would Tecton do that? Normos are useless.
They're all, like, I'm a normo.
I need a tank to breathe underwater.
I know, right? Why wouldn't Tecton just pick someone with super speed like me? Granted, it only works when I run backwards.
Who needs Tecton? I can become a superhero, and you can be my sidekick.
Why do I have to be the sidekick? Because my power is better.
I can move objects with my mind.
Well, I have something even more important.
A driver's license.
Unless you wanna battle evil that's within walking distance, or close to a bus stop.
Fine, we can be a team.
Yes! We'll be the best superheroes ever! Besides, who needs normos? I'm a normo.
I don't have an extra ear in my armpit.
You have an ear in your armpit? I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.
Can you speak up? Well, well, well.
If it isn't the thief of dreams.
What's in the bag, a six-year-old's wish to one day become an astronaut? They're Tecton's uniforms.
This job is horrible.
All I do is his chores.
This morning, I had to make his bed.
It's on the ceiling.
Don't lie to make me less mad at you.
There's no way that being Tecton's sidekick isn't the coolest thing ever.
Oliver, Tecton's looking for you.
He wants you to empty his wastebasket, and be careful, it's radioactive waste.
Being Tecton's sidekick really is horrible, and dangerous.
I feel so much better now.
What am I gonna do? Tecton's a great superhero, but he's ruining my life.
Well, technically, he should be ruining my life.
I think my advice is just do whatever I do when I'm faced with adversity.
Suck it up and persevere? No! Quit.
How long have you known me? I can't quit.
I took the galtraxian oath of heroes.
I am totally izelflarped.
I don't know why Tecton even wants a sidekick.
They're the first thing a villain goes after to lure you into a trap.
That's it.
The oath of heroes prevents you from quitting, but it doesn't prevent him from firing you.
Also known as the loophole of heroes.
- So? - All we have to do is make it look like then he'll see that having you work for him made him vulnerable, and he'll fire you.
Okay.
Hope this works, 'cause I can't do his dirty work anymore.
He made me clean his shower.
It's a meteor shower.
It really hurts, even when you set the shower head to gentle.
I call our first meeting to order.
Item one: The name of our superhero team.
I give you Magnificent man and what's-his-face.
Hmm.
As much as I love my costume it just screams fun first we need to answer the more important questions.
- Like what? - Like who is our arch-Nemesis? What weapons and defenses do we use, and most important, whose turn is it to bring the snacks? 'Cause this onion dip is terrible.
That's a throat culture from the lab.
For onion dip, that's terrible.
For a throat culture, it's not that bad.
As far as defenses go, I think we should wear protective vests on our backs.
On our backs? Why would we need that? Fine, but how many times is that going to happen? Huh! More often than you think.
All right, let's go over the plan.
Kaz, you and Skylar tell Tecton that megahertz captured his sidekick.
Tecton will feel obligated to rescue me.
But before he leaves, I'll run in saying I barely escaped.
Then, he'll see I'm a liability.
Any questions? I have a question.
Can I have this? Because I look awesome.
Just telling Tecton won't be enough to convince him that you've been captured.
I see where you're going with this.
We'll send him Oliver's head as proof.
What, it'll grow back.
No, it won't.
Your heads don't grow back? Wow, you normos are so fragile.
Look, as much as I hate being Tecton's sidekick, (loudly) I've grown rather fond of my head.
So can we think of another way to convince Tecton? I've got it.
They keep old superhero news network reports on file in mighty med.
I can re-edit them to make a fake story about your capture.
- Can you really do that? - You tell me.
I am Oliver.
I like to smell dogs' butts.
Psst.
Hey, kid.
Psst.
Hey, kid! You know another half-cyborg who can throw electricity? There's powerline, van voltage, joltron Shut it! I hear you're working for Tecton now.
Wait, aren't you that kid who threw a bedpan at my head? Oh, you remember me? Oh, you remember me.
It's a bad plan, Skylar.
We agree.
I love this thing.
Is it weird she's my best friend? Why do we have to do all of the hard work? Meanwhile, Oliver gets to just put his feet up and hang.
Let me down! The blood is rushing to my head.
Fine.
Just stop whining.
I'm supposed to be torturing you.
Thank you.
Hey, uh, Tecton.
Have you heard the news? Yeah, that annoying weird kid is dating a supermodel.
Yes, my rumor's sticking! No, this news is even more disturbing.
Megahertz has abducted Oliver.
Yeah, we better check for updates on the all-too-real news.
Later in the broadcast, superhero summer wear cape or no cape? But first, details on Tecton's sidekick Oliver, who was abducted today.
I am Oliver.
I like to smell dogs' butts.
Wonder why they're showing that? It's true, but it's hardly newsworthy.
Please, you're really expecting me to believe this? I was hoping.
I know what you're doing.
You're trying to get Oliver fired because you're jealous he gets to sweep my house For land mines.
Your friend just texted you that your plan is off.
Please, just let me go.
I'll let you go Once Tecton comes to save you, and I destroy him by filling this room with his mortal weakness gargulon gas.
- (Ringing) - Hello.
Tecton, it's megahertz.
I've abducted your sidekick.
Right.
I'm sure you have.
And this sounds a lot like megahertz, kaz.
It is megahertz! And I suggest you show up at the old industrial power station at 9:00 tonight, if you want to see Oliver alive again.
Actually, megahertz, I'm kinda busy, so electrocute him, pull his arms off, do whatever you want.
Later.
(Frustrated yell) He thinks I'm someone named kaz.
Who's named kaz, seriously? Well, your name is Leslie Zip it! Eventually, Tecton will realize you're missing, and come looking for you.
Then he'll step right into my trap.
(Beeping) Uh, looks like your power level is low.
I have an idea.
How about you go plug yourself in and recharge, and I'll go get Tecton and tell him you're looking for him.
Or, or, or I could stay here in this cage of electricity.
Okay, I have a genius plan for rescuing Oliver and proving ourselves as superheroes.
Step one, rescue Oliver.
Step two, prove ourselves as superheroes.
I don't mean to be critical, but your reasoning is somewhat circular.
Your face is somewhat circular.
- Actually, it's more of an oval - I said somewhat circular! Now, let's get dressed for justice.
Ugh, that was exhausting.
Yeah, it took a lot more out of me than I expected.
Man, for a guy with a limited wardrobe, he sure has a lot of coat hangers.
(Ringing) Hey, Oliver, what's up? I've been captured by megahertz.
He's holding me prisoner.
Give it up, Oliver.
Tecton didn't go for it.
I told you you should've let me send him your head.
I'm serious.
Megahertz trapped me in an electrical cage.
I'll show you.
You're not kidding.
You need to hurry.
Megahertz is almost done recharging his power source.
I'm having trouble hearing you.
The power grid must be interfering with my phone.
Power grids.
Of course.
The accident that turned megahertz into a cyborg at the abandoned power station.
He must've gone there to recharge.
Skylar: Now Tecton has to rescue you.
See, this is why heroes shouldn't have a sidekick.
True, but if he wasn't gonna have a sidekick, it shouldn't have been me.
Dude, let it go.
Oliver, we'll call Tecton.
Wait, wait, wait.
You need to tell Tecton it's a trap.
(Beeping) Hello? Can you hear me? Great.
Now my phone dies.
When my grandma's babbling on about how she picked out the perfect cantaloupe, full charge.
Thank goodness.
What took you guys so long? Are you kidding me? We just sprinted six Miles.
I sprinted, you rode on my back.
Kaz, please, tell me you did not call Tecton.
Don't worry, I left him a message explaining that you were actually captured, and I told him to bring a tarp.
Not tarp.
Trap.
I said to tell him it was a trap.
Told you tarp didn't make any sense.
Hey, tarps can be extremely useful.
Ask any wet baseball field.
We've gotta figure out a way to deactivate this cage.
You know what would come in handy right now? A tarp.
Wait.
In the Tecton trilogy, Tecton escaped from the parasite's force field by rerouting its powers through a metal object.
Like this rack.
Yeah.
Now let's get out of here - before megahertz powers back up.
- Too late! Don't move.
Where is Tecton? Don't worry, he'll be here.
Well, to make sure, I'll just have to send him another message, this one written on your lifeless bodies.
Don't move! Who are you? I am magnificent man.
And I am his equal, and perhaps even slightly superior partner, what's-his-face.
The name kinda grew on me.
Oh, no.
A floating toolbox.
I came as soon as I got your message, but it doesn't look like you need me or this tarp.
Ooh, that looks like it mega hurts.
Nice work.
You showed incredible bravery.
I am also dating a supermodel.
You know, if anyone should be your sidekick, he should.
Oh, yeah, he's way better than Oliver.
Look at him, he's so weak and pale.
And fragile.
No one on earth can regrow their head.
It's not just me, look it up.
How would you like to be my new sidekick? And desert my loyal and faithful partner? Absolutely! I'll do it! Fine.
I don't need you.
I'll make my own mark, and no one will forget the name of what's-his-face.
Great.
You seem like a real go-getter.
So go get me a large sugar-free nonfat cup of lava.
You mean java.
No, lava.
Extra hot, no foam.
I wanna thank you, Oliver.
Even though it seems like you were just doing busy work, you actually freed me up to prevent an asteroid from destroying the sun, so, in a way, by making my ceiling bed, you helped save humanity.
Anyway, I now release you from the oath of heroes.
Thank you, or in original galtraxian, kurbog fotz.
And kaz, Skylar, kurbog fotz for coming to save me.
Both: Zook carath.
Hey, Oliver, I never should have gotten jealous because he should've picked me in the first place, so you should've been jealous of me, so I forgive you.
You know what? Neither of us needs to be a superhero's sidekick.
We're each other's sidekicks.
And besides, I think we're both better off saving the people who save people instead of saving the people.
You should definitely trademark that - before someone beats you to it.
- Too late.
Griffin, stop pulling.
Bad dog! Is that Tecton's invisible dog? Yeah, and it took me three hours just to find his invisible leash.
Who's the cutest invisible dog? You are.
I think.
We just got back from the park, and let me tell you, what comes out of him is not cute, and it's not invisible.