Population: 11 (2024) s01e10 Episode Script

Welcome to the Bidgee Pub
trivia night.
What is the maximum penalty
for drug dealing in this state?
What the devil is she up to?
CASSIE: There are three motives
responsible for
nearly all murders.
- What are they?
- (GARETH SCREAMS)
It's a pub, Your Honour,
not a fucking courtroom!
Dom's dead, Andy.
(SILENCED GUNSHOT)
Hope you're not thinking about
stealing a car
and leaving town, hot stuff.
You have to come now. Hurry!
Hugo?
Where am I?
(TENSE MUSIC)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(SHOUTS IN PANIC)
(STAMMERS)
(SCREAMS)
HUGO: At first, I was scared.
But I knew I was being given
the opportunity
that would slip through
the fingers of lesser men.
- JIMMY: Hmm.
- (HUGO SLURPS NOISILY)
It was incredible.
There I was.
I could almost reach out
and touch the stars.
And
Mere words cannot do it justice.
The colours.
Like a thousand
burst eye vessels
smooched together.
The planets were like
uh
um, giant, ancient skulls
floatin' in a sea of darkness.
Anyway, there I was,
just turnin' like
a rotisserie chicken.
I was at the very rim
of the galaxy.
There were vibratin'
voids of darkness
and swarms of meteors
and nebulae
and red dwarfs.
I really don't know
how long I was gone
before I was lookin'
down at the earth again,
floatin' high above the town.
Then a blindin' bright light
shot me back.
That's where I've been.
Convenient they dropped you
outside the pub
on its busiest night.
I wonder why
they didn't drop you
back where you were abducted.
Who can explain alien logic?
NOEL: So
why are you naked?
My clothes disintegrated
when I was beamed up, Noel!
Do you have any idea what's been
going on around here?
Do you
Do you recognise this man?
(TENDER MUSIC)
Never seen him before.
(SCOFFS) I knew it.
Oh, yes. Andy. How's tricks?
(ALL GASP)
LEON: Fuckin' bang!
(QUIRKY SYNTH MUSIC)
DANIELS: Let me
get this straight.
We've been investigating
the murder
of someone
who isn't even dead.
Well, we, uh we're
still waiting for
Forensics and DNA testing.
- And while we were waiting
- Then you wait.
Yep.
You know that shit
takes weeks up here.
You've made a huge assumption
without the facts.
The facts were, sir, that
a missing man's body was found
in that missing man's ute.
So
Except it wasn't that dickhead,
was it?
And then you go and arrest
that American for it.
I mean, you have left us
wide open!
(DANIELS SIGHS)
- You're gonna fix this.
- Yep. I am.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Or you can forget about
that promotion.
Or I'll see to it that
you're shovelling shit
at the horse cops for
the rest of your career.
Get out of my sight.
Yep.
Oh, now. I'm going.
(DANIELS MUTTERS) Jesus Christ.
GERALDINE: Sorry.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(DOOR OPENS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Why am I here?
What's goin' on?
You are now the suspect
in a murder investigation.
And if you don't start
telling me the truth,
I will have to assume
that you are responsible,
and I will do everything
in my power to prove it.
Now, a dead man was found
in your burnt-out ute
and I wanna know who he is.
(LAUGHS)
You are jokin', aren't ya?
Do I fuckin' look like
I'm jokin'?
Nah.
Where the hell have you been?
If I'm honest
I think I was somewhere
in the Andromeda galaxy.
(GRUNTS)
(ANDY SIGHS)
Andy waits anxiously
in the police station.
He hasn't had a chance
to speak to his father.
What will his first words be?
Andy appreciates the help,
but he just saw his dad
for the first time in decades
last night
and the asshole pretended like
he didn't even exist,
so maybe Andy is not
in the mood for
your little poddo-whacker, or
whatever you people call them.
We actually just call it
a podcast.
Also
my friend is dead.
Are you sure you don't want
a lift back to Bidgee?
I mean, Hugo might be here
for a while.
No. I'm not letting him
out of my sight.
OK.
Fine.
I think I just got my period.
I'm just gonna I'll be a sec.
You don't have to narrate
everything.
- MAN: I found it.
- MAN 2: I saw it first.
RORY: They're fighting over
some cash
they say washed up
near the port.
- Smithy's checking it out.
- Yeah, righto.
(DOOR OPENS)
Alright, I see. OK.
But this is off the record.
Ahh!
I'm not a fuckin' reporter,
you idiot.
I'm the law!
- Speak!
- Alright. Alright.
OK.
Fine. Mate, you were right.
I was not, in fact, in space.
I was in Darwin.
At the the Breezy Nut Motel.
- What room?
- I was in room 308.
And, um you can check on that.
II hired two adult movies
there on my bill.
'Forrest Hump' and 'Fist Club'.
(CHUCKLES) Not that good,
though. Three stars.
I also frequented
the Handy Helpers
massage parlour next door.
You can check with
the lovely ladies
who own that fine establishment.
It's the beautiful Monique
and the voluptuous Ava.
Or was it Eva? Eva?
What was that whole alien
abduction bullshit story about?
What was that?
It was supposed to be
a publicity stunt
for my UFO tours.
GERALDINE: Fuck me dead.
Look, business has not been
goin' so good.
So I thought I'd give it
a little PR push
if I, like, vanished.
I don't know
what I was thinkin'.
I mean, fuckin' UFO tours.
It's a dud.
It was Noel's idea.
From the start, I should never
have stolen it off him.
Fuckin' Noel.
You saw the tape.
What tape?
HUGO: I made a tape.
I thought someone would
report me missin'
and then they'd find the tape,
they'd leak it to the papers
and then a whole horde of people
would come and do my UFO tours.
But no-one's even
fuckin' heard of it!
And now my ute's
burnt to a crisp.
That shitbox was the nicest
thing I ever owned.
Did someone really die in it?
Mmm.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
GERALDINE: Right. Just get me
the sign-out sheet.
What are you doin' here?
Giving you a ride home.
Whoa, wow, thanks.
I appreciate it.
The bus'll be along soon.
(FIRMLY) Iam giving you
a ride.
Soon as I get my car back, please.
Your what?
The car you took in for evidence
when you thought that
I killed my father,
who is not dead.
Oh, right.
You'll get a phone call
when that's ready.
Meanwhile, we'll be keeping
a very close eye
on the both of you.
ANDY: But I
I'm here now.
GERALDINE: Can't hear you.
Well, guess that plan's
gone out the window, huh?
ANDY: No.
It did not.
(SIGHS) Yeah, righto,
you're getting' a bit handsy.
- What's your rush?
- Hurry up and get in the car.
Buy me a drink first!
Hey, did you see
that guy I was with?
OFFICER: Just left.
(TYRES SQUEAL)
You dickhead!
(INTENSE MUSIC)
Why didn't you go when we were
back at the station?
You were rushin' me.
(ANDY SIGHS)
Oh, that Geraldine's
a force of nature.
Huh!
I'm glad to be outta there.
Although I did just
get back from
a pretty little hotel in Darwin.
ANDY: Knew it.
- Had a lovely pool.
- I don't care.
Mate, if I will allow myself
one complaint,
the minibar fridge, 'twas empty.
I mean, whatever happened to
those little bottles of booze
they used to have?
Remember?
And the baby chocolate bars.
And the nuts
and the fizzy drinks and the
(SHOUTS) Just tell me already!
What? What?
Where is the money?
Can I just
commence my piss first
before we get into
the heavy shit?
Why is it taking so long?
I can't go when
you're watchin' me.
(SIGHS)
Oh, my God. Hugo, how long
could it possibly take
Hey! Asshole!
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)
Hey!
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(SIGHS)
Hugo!
(CROW CAWS)
Hey!
Dad!
Just stop, will you?
Stay back!
You don't think
it hasn't dawned on me
that you might be the bad apple
that killed that bloke
in my ute?
Me?!
Maybe you thought
it was me in there.
He's I di
- I'm your son!
- Oh, alright!
Don't need to keep
bangin' on about it.
(SIGHS)
Just tell me where the money is.
This is what you wanna
talk about, the money, is it?
You come all this way
after all this time
and you wanna know
(SCREAMS) Yes! Where is it?!
Alright, then.
I'll tell you.
- But I will preface
- Don't preface.
No, I will make a preface,
right? It's this.
It's that I have no idea why
you wanna talk about this now.
And I will make
a second preface.
No more prefaces!
It's too many prefaces!
Second preface is this.
It wasn't my fault.
Hindsight is 20/20, OK?
If I'd have known back then
what I know now, etc.
Just tell me.
Alright. Fine.
I invested it all in
what I thought was
gonna be a sure thing.
You invested it?
In what?
A magical tip-off
from someone in the know.
But then (CHUCKLES)
a typhoon came along and
destroyed the cherimoya farm.
I mean, how was I to predict
a freak weather event like that?
It was an act of God!
Your mother, she seemed
to understand at the time.
Well, more or less.
And I meant to pay her back.
I mean, honest. No, I did.
But, well, time does
funny things to a promise.
That's not the money
I'm talking about!
It's not?
I'm talking about
the quarter of a million dollars
that was in your bank account
that you found
and withdrew
and hid God knows where.
I don't have that kind of money.
Stop pretending.
You do not understand the
serious shit that we are in!
"We"?
Mate, you must be delusional.
Are you on medication
or somethin'?
OK. OK, fine, me. Me.
I'm in the shit.
If I don't find that money,
I'm dead.
Jeez, that don't sound too good.
No! It don't.
Mate,
I don't know what to tell ya.
I mean, honest,
I don't have your money.
I mean, why would I?
I haven't seen ya in over
20, or somethin', years.
Just don't make any sense.
Please, son! Please.
I am tellin' you the truth.
Hmm?
(SCREAMS)
(SIGHS)
Can't be that bad.
(PANTS)
- Hey, where you goin'?
- Back to the car.
Nah, the car's this way.
Hang on.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey!
You're not going to Bidgeegud,
by any chance?
- We're not a taxi service.
- I know!
But I was wanting to interview
Sergeant Geraldine Walters
for my podcast, but I could
interview you instead
if you give me a lift.
(STAMMERS) Me?
No, I'm busy, I've
Oh, but it's the best way to
tell your side of the story.
Look, Sergeant Walters actually
warned me about talking to you.
She did?
Yeah, and I'm sure
she had good reason.
(HUGO CHUCKLES)
Right, so Alright, then,
let me get this straight.
You stole my identity
for the purposes of
money launderin'
and yet you're angry at me.
ANDY: I don't know where the
money's from or what it's for.
I just move it for them.
HUGO: I'm really surprised
at how you turned out.
I'm more than disappointed
in your mother.
She didn't do a good job
raisin' you.
ANDY: I'm warning you.
Hey, how is the old girl anyway?
She still swingin' her hips
when she walks?
She's dead.
She died last year.
I reached out to her.
I didn't hear back.
Oh! That's right.
Yeah, the one lousy 'wish you
were here' postcard you sent.
Yeah, she got that. Thank you.
I can see that you're determined
not to even begin
to understand my position.
(SCOFFS)
Your mother was the only woman
who ever understood me.
That was the problem.
She was too good for me
and we both knew it.
Can I ask, though -
did she, uh
- I mean, well, did you
- What?
What is it?
What would you like to know
after all of these years
of zero interest?
Was it a burial or a cremation?
Cremation.
And what'd you do
with the ashes?
I put They're
I haven't decided
what to do with them yet.
(MIMICS STAMMERING)
What do you mean?
I mean they're in storage,
if you must know.
I haven't figured out
where to sprinkle them.
Oh, Andrew!
- (SCOFFS)
- That is terrible.
You can't leave your mother
sittin' on some dusty shelf
in a storage container!
You shut the fuck up!
As if you have a single leg
to stand on!
I don't wanna hear another word
out of your fucking mouth.
I am not joking.
(ANDY SIGHS)
(SCOFFS) Where
Where in God's name are we?
- Hello?
- Hmm?
Oh, really? You're allowin' me
to talk now, are you?
Yes! Yes, you're
allowed to talk.
Where the fuck are we?
I have no idea.
(TROUBLING MUSIC)
CASSIE: So what's it like
working for Sergeant Walters?
Turn that off.
Pretty embarrassing
how she arrested Andy
for his dad's murder and
turns out he wasn't even dead.
OK, Sergeant Walters
made a bold call, OK,
and I respect that.
Sergeant Walters is the smartest
person I've ever met.
And I've met people
with multiple degrees, OK?
- OK.
- She's vivacious.
Vivacious?
Exciting. Inspiring.
As a cop, I mean.
And look, guess who just found a
cattle truck that went missing?
Sergeant Walters.
- So put that in your podcast.
- Thanks. I will.
That's actually classified, so
you're gonna have to delete
Do you think it's related to
the body found in the ute?
A missing truck might have
a missing driver, right?
Has a missing driver
been reported?
If I give you a lift, are
you gonna stop asking questions?
You got any gum?
Nope.
I'd kill for a Mintie.
Whatever that is.
Wonder what your smile
looks like.
Can I see it?
You always in
this shit of a mood?
You have any disorders
like anxiety or anythin'?
How do you sleep?
OK, can can you just stop
feigning interest in me?
This feeble attempt at
making up for lost time is
boring.
I'm just genuinely interested,
that's all,
in what kind of genetic trail
I've left behind.
Aren't you curious?
You know what?
I was curious from, uh,
about age 10 to maybe 20.
That's a whole decade of
spending every day
trying to remember
what your face looked like.
Wondering where you are,
you know?
Trying to figure out
what is so horrible about me
that a father could just
just walk away
and never come back.
But you know what I did?
I got over it.
So, no, I'm not curious anymore.
I was presumed dead.
(ANDY SIGHS)
HUGO: Everyone in the town
thought I was dead.
Did they mourn me?
Did they miss me?
Do I matter?
You know, when I was yakkin' on
about my alien abduction story,
well, I was lookin' at
the dead eyes of the townsfolk
and I thought, "These people
don't deserve my stories."
Who are these cunts really?
Why have I spent
so many years with them?
You know that feelin' when you
don't really belong anywhere?
So I'm just wonderin'.
Is that somethin' also
in our blood?
Do you feel that too?
- One more question.
- I said no more.
MAN OVER RADIO: Alert priority
2. Body found at the port.
All available officers
to report.
OK? That means everyone.
- Can I come?
- Hell, no!
I'll just sit in the car.
50 bucks says this new body's
the missing truckie.
Eh? Anyone game?
- I knew it!
- OK, this is serious work, OK?
OK. Yeah, fine. Great.
I'll just go home
and file my report about
inter-office romance
between you and your boss.
How did you know about that?
I didn't. You just confirmed it.
Is it romance or more physical?
I mean, the power imbalance
won't look good for her
and even though you're a guy,
sexual harassment's still
frowned upon, isn't it?
(WHISPERS) OK, I just
Shit.
HUGO: You know, you're right.
Hmm? Maybe we shouldn't talk.
Because I'm offerin' pearls
of fatherly wisdom here
and all you're interested in
is money.
OK, you know what? Let's talk.
Why were you never interested
in what became of Mom and me?
I almost googled you once.
Almost? Once.
Fuckin' Father of the Year
over here.
I meant to come back, honestly.
I did. I just got sidetracked.
Sidetracked?!
Yeah, and you know
the weird thing?
Oh, that wasn't the weird thing?
I had this epiphany
that you and your mother
were also a sidetrack,
that everything that I had done
was me bein' sidetracked from
what I was supposed to be doin'.
And what might that be exactly?
Still haven't
worked that out yet.
OK, so to summarise,
Mom and I were a regrettable
detour on the aimless journey
of your miserable life?
Oh, Andrew, don't be so cynical.
It's not as if I dropped you off
in a little basket
at an orphanage or whatever.
- You were all grown up.
- I was nine!
- In the animal kingdom
- Nope.
some birds leave their young
after a few weeks.
I'm not an animal!
I trusted you to thrive
on your animal instincts.
God, can't you be grateful
that I showed that kind
of faith in you?
(SCREAMS) Oh, my God!
I can't listen to this anymore!
Alright. But why did you never
track me down, huh?
You don't see me
gettin' annoyed, do ya?
What, I'm not worth
trackin' down
unless you need somethin', yeah?
God, kids! Ugh! What leeches.
What did you just call me?
What?
Am I wrong? Where's the lie?
- Take it back.
- Nah.
Take it BACK!
- No!
- Take it back!
No way!
Will you stop bloody chasin' me?
Would you Cut it out!
This is bloody stupid!
We
We need to be conservin'
our energy, right?
People die out here
all the time.
Good!
We deserve it.
The car.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
What?
(HUGO CHUCKLES)
Ohh! Mwah!
Ohh! (CHUCKLES)
(ANDY STARTS ENGINE)
I've been asked
to wait in the car,
but I need to take
a closer look.
I can see
OFFICER: Forensics
just gave us
CASSIE: ..police officers
standing around
what appears to be a body.
(DARK MUSIC)
Shit.
It's Gareth.
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
(HUGO SIGHS)
- Home, sweet home, I guess.
- (PHONE CHIMES)
Holy shit.
What's that? What's goin' on?
Just got a text
from my friend Dom.
That's nice!
Yeah.
Except he's dead.
('CURRENCY' BY THE BLACK ANGELS)
Currency, carry me
Everyone is held hostage
Currency means nothing
How are they to spend us next?
Do you want a stake in us? ♪