Rake US (2013) s01e10 Episode Script
50 Shades of Gay
Let's not forget one basic fact.
That I'm a prostitute.
Where is my money, Kee? You're just this like, innocent creature.
I'm not innocent, David.
Every other minute, I think that he's gonna find out everything about my past.
I'm thinking about running for D.
A.
When's the mayor gonna announce the endorsement? The Mayor of Los Angeles is dead.
I'd like to thank the city council for asking me to take my husband's seat.
Nice to see you again, Gloria.
You called me here to talk to him? You shouldn't have affairs with your students.
That was not a relationship.
That was a criminal act.
Leanne is on the phone for you.
She said she was your assistant.
I never do this sort of thing.
Yeah, me neither.
All right! Look alive.
Look alive, people.
Come on, let's go.
Okay.
Oh! Yeah, come on.
Get it, get it! All right, go, go, go! Yeah! Months and months you've been hot for my client, Ted.
Now it takes two hours to return a call? Dutch Sullivan is Jack Missile.
He was born to play that part.
I don't care what you're hearing! Dutch gets the part! Make it happen.
All right.
Ho, there we go! Did we close on Dutch? There's no "we," Brandon.
Is this tepid? It feels tepid.
All right.
What the hell is this? Perfect.
Let's go, guys.
Let's go.
Time out! Time out! Stop the game! What are you doing? What's my son doing in right field? I think he's fine where he is.
His talents are being wasted out there.
Right field fits his talents perfectly.
He should be pitching.
Mr.
Fawcett, why don't you sit back down and enjoy the game? Or make another phone call.
Do you know who I am? Yes, and I have a pretty good idea of what you are too.
Who the hell do you think you're talking to, buddy? You need to back your finger up, son.
- Listen, coach.
- Get back, man.
No, I'll tell you what to ow! Oh.
Oh, he hit me! That son of a bitch hit me! Oh, you all saw it! Ah! Ah.
- Ah.
- What are you people staring at? Someone call an ambulance.
Oh, God.
Oh I'm The dumbest guy in the office.
I still don't get it.
If you have an incoming call Incoming call.
Press the button next to the line that's blinking.
Okay.
To make an outgoing call, choose an unoccupied line.
Unoccupied line.
And you just dial? - Nine.
- Right.
And then the number.
And what's this little guy over here? Speakerphone.
Okay.
Good morning! - Hi.
- Morning.
- Kee? - Hmm? What the hell's going on here? Um, I'm sorry Mr.
Leon.
I was just I was just helping Mr.
Deane with his phone.
Complicated phone system.
Clearly, if you need to get undressed to demonstrate.
- Hit nine.
- Yes, nine.
Hit nine.
Hi, Mr.
Deane.
- Hey.
- Have a super day.
Everybody's so nice.
Are you out of your mind? I could say the same thing to you.
How about knocking on the door? Kee, this is a place of business.
Cindy's not a lesbian.
This proves it.
This proves nothing.
- This is your fault.
- What? I have nothing to do here, Ben.
Then figure something out that's not in violation of the California Fair Employment Act.
They allow for punitive damages in this state, Kee.
Punitive damages.
She came on to me.
Just stay out of trouble and stay out of Cindy.
That's called knocking.
Yeah? Kee, I Mr.
Deane, Mr.
Booker is here to see you.
Your bookie? My bookie's name isn't "Booker.
" Tell him I'm not here.
Yeah, you are.
I'm sorry, I owe you money? Wow.
Come on, man.
Do all big black men look alike to you? Kee, it's me.
Jules? How do you two know each other? We don't.
Uh, he's my decorator.
Uh, yeah.
We're going with all beige.
Your look was a lot more colorful when you were running the brothel.
Yeah, well, "Jules" is an act, Kee.
He's a persona I invented so I wouldn't scare off white boys like yourself.
- Eh? - See, when Jules gets upset, he comes off a little bitchy.
"Kee, where's my money?" - Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, but when Darnell gets upset, it's a different story.
"Kee! Where's my money?" - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- So you're not gay.
- No, no, no, bro.
I'm still gay, just not Jules gay.
Oh.
- What do you got? - Yeah, right here.
That's my husband and kids.
That is Blake, my boo, and then the little slugger is Blake, Jr.
, and That's Blanca, she's my baby.
Proud papa Jules.
Look at you.
Don't call me that when I'm talking about my kids, man.
I need to keep my lives separate and so do you.
Wait, wait a second.
Blake? Your husband doesn't know about Jules and the whole sex business? As far as the law is concerned, he can't know.
Oh, God.
There's a little chain of fro-yo shops that he maintains legit.
You might have heard of Blakeberry.
- You guys are Blakeberry? - Yeah.
I'm a Blakeberry flavor saver.
I got like, three Three more and I get, like, one of the tubs and a t-shirt, - the hat, the whole thing.
- Kee, Kee.
- I need this charge - You're Blakeberry? Yes.
Keegan, - I need this charge - Can't believe that.
to go away, all right? This is Max Fawcett we're talking about here.
The press is gonna be all over it.
It's only a matter of time before someone - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Connects the dots between Jules and Darnell.
Jules, I'd like to help you, honestly, but I work at a corporate old-school law firm.
They don't represent people in your profession.
You didn't have a problem with my profession when I was giving you a line of credit and my best girl.
Kee, this is my family we're talking about here.
- Be totally honest with me.
- Mm-hmm.
Would you vote for her? the mayor's endorsement? Hell, yeah, I'm voting for her.
You talk to Gloria yet? Yeah, I'm having lunch with her this week.
But you cleared the endorsement with her, right? Well, honey, she is one of my closest friends.
I'm pretty sure she's gonna endorse me over Fairfax Freddy, who has yet to make a campaign speech fully clothed.
You can't assume anything in a campaign, Scarlet.
People lose campaigns on assumptions all the time.
Well, Mayor Barzmann did endorse me, just not this Mayor Barzmann.
Scarlet, these can't go out until you talk to her.
They can't.
There, are you happy now? Honey, I am trying to protect you.
You've made it more than clear how important this election is to you, so I'm gonna do everything I can to help you win.
You're running as a freshman D.
A.
People need to know Gloria's got your back.
So what are we supposed to do with all of these? We'll add pictures of me and the kids, write "Feliz Navidad" across the top and send them out next Christmas.
But they don't go out without Gloria's endorsement.
You know, you can be really tough sometimes? I like it.
Look, say what you want to say about it, but my father knew how to get his guys into city hall, and I'm gonna do the same for you.
That was amazing.
Mmm.
Where did you learn to do that? Huh? I I went to a very progressive high school in Europe.
Oh, God, why couldn't I have gone to school in Europe? Was it good for you? Mmm, yeah, I made a lot of good friends.
No.
What? - I mean this.
- Oh! W Oh, yeah, it was really nice.
It was nice? Oh, my David, it was amazing.
It was great.
I don't I don't like to quantify intimacy.
I just think that any exchange of affection between us is meaningful because it's us.
You're so right.
Marry me.
Is that your orgasm proposing? My orgasm only speaks for one particular part of my body.
I'm talking to you from my heart.
I love you.
I'm enthralled by you.
I want to spend the rest of my life being dumbfounded by you, being amazed by you.
Will you marry me? My God.
Oh, I love you too, David.
I really do, I j I just need some Like, a little bit of time.
Is that okay? Yeah.
That's fine, I'll wait, but mark my words, when you do say yes, you're gonna look back and you're gonna regret that you could have been engaged to me that much sooner.
That your husband? Yeah, that's Blake.
I told him I didn't want him here, but as soon as you say that, you know what's happening.
I hear that.
Damn straight.
If I knew it was gonna be like this, I would have told those marriage equality people to go to hell.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
All rise.
Be seated.
Considering the severity of the victim's injuries, I'm going to grant the prosecutor's request.
This case will be upgraded to felony assault.
Mr.
Deane, the clerk will give you your new trial date.
Your honor, this is completely unreasonable.
Approach the bench.
Judge Stipple, I don't think we've had the pleasure.
My husband warned me about you.
Dr.
Sean Stipple.
Perhaps you remember him from the hills country club? Oh, yeah.
How's he doing? Miserable, since you got him banned from the course for fighting.
Well, he did throw a golf club at me.
Only after you endlessly harassed him for moving slowly.
That's called "slow play," yeah.
I know your reputation, Mr.
Deane, and I won't put up with any bad behavior.
Court adjourned.
I don't suppose you want to give me a little smile for my client's sake.
Thank you.
So did she take back the felony charge, or Pretty much, yeah.
We're gonna be fine.
There's plenty of witnesses who saw exactly what happened.
So you were at the game.
You came out of the stands once the fight started, and you can't tell me what you saw? I'd like to help.
Coach has been incredible.
He helped put Justin on track for a college scholarship.
College? How old is he? Just turned ten.
We have our eye on Stanford's program.
Rotate and extend, Justin, like in the footage! Hey, you know Coach Darnell can go to prison for a long time, right? Mr.
Deane, my husband's an accountant.
His firm almost tanked until Max referred him to two "A" list directors.
I hope you can understand.
Electrolyte break! All these helicopter parents It's a wonder the kids haven't had their heads chopped off.
- How'd you go? - No luck.
The lady in the hat saw the fight but she won't testify because Max arranged for her new line of soy candles to be included in the gift baskets for the oscars.
How about the guy in the beard? He won't talk.
Max got him a speaking part in a Dutch Sullivan movie.
I knew I recognized him.
Tokyo Rampart.
Vince made me watch it 20 times.
"You like Sushi?" "Get your chopsticks ready.
" "I'm going wasabi on his ass.
" You ever been to the movies with Roy? Why would I go to the movies with Roy? No reason.
Only that he mentioned he liked the movies the last time that we spoke that day at your apartment.
Although we couldn't very well speak after that, 'cause he doesn't have my number.
Unless he asked you for it.
He didn't.
I know he likes to go to the movies with his pregnant wife, Leanne.
He hasn't mention me at all? Hey, what happened to the guy from Scotland? First name starts with a "B.
" Hey, honey.
Everything all right? Do people become shrinks because they're crazy? Excuse me? Is this about Stacy? Yeah, she's with someone else now.
Well, honey, I'm sorry, but that's to be expected.
She's an adult woman with an adult life, so I mean, surely you can understand that she needs to be with someone her own age.
I could understand that if she hadn't left me for someone younger.
Younger? Younger than you? Yeah.
The little zit-faced loser just turned 15.
Great shrink work, mom.
Scarlet.
What can I do for you? I don't want to take up too much of your time.
You're still annoyed with me for setting up that meeting with Kee aren't you? Was that a meeting? 'Cause it felt more like an ambush.
I'm sorry.
I was really hoping that we could put it behind us because Because you want my endorsement.
I'm gonna think about that and get back to you.
Look, I know I used bad judgment, but Gloria, we've been friends for a really long There's a lot more to consider now than just our friendship, Scarlet.
Okay.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Mr.
Deane.
Over here.
Blake? Hey.
What's up Darnell? This is my husband's black No, excuse me.
This is Jules's black book.
In it there's enough to make this case disappear.
Hey, no, it's gonna make me disappear too.
Excuse me, but we've discussed this and decided it's the right thing to do.
No, you decided it was the right thing to do.
- Just take a look let me - No! Stop it! You actually have a little black book? That is very old-school of you, Jules.
You didn't want to just load it on a flash drive? Well, computers get hacked, Kee.
This book is the only copy of my client records.
- Come on.
- No.
And it has never left my possession.
My business is built on a covenant of privacy with my clients, all right? If word gets out that I exposed even one of them, this whole city will go under panic, okay? You have 48 hours.
Guard that book with your life.
Hey, hey, hey, you can trust me.
I'm not only your lawyer, I'm a former client.
I give you full discretion.
Yeah, counting on Keegan Deane for discretion.
Hmm.
Yeah, good job there, Blake.
Yeah, but of course you know what's best.
Oh, but I do know what is best, Darnell, for my family, and that is keeping my man out of jail.
Yeah, well, I'm already in jail.
- Are you? - Emotional jail with a man who only cares about what he wants! Well, help yourself to any loose change or women's jewelry you find between the cushions.
I just got my hand on a little black Little black book.
Mmm, that was nice.
What happened to this "just friends" policy of yours? You were pretty adamant about that.
Yeah, well, I changed my mind.
You and Harry have a fight? Uh-uh.
Can you shut up? Okay.
Clay Randolph fill him in, or did one of your ex-clients clue him in on your past? Your 20 questions are up.
He ask you to marry him? Oh, that's it? Seriously? He proposed? Can this guy be any more predictable? Oh, my God, what am I doing? Don't tell me you said yes.
I haven't answered.
Don't tell me you're gonna say yes.
I just thought that maybe if I could be with someone else, then maybe I shouldn't.
No, listen, you're using me to test yourself.
Yes, sorry.
Okay, this is great.
This is great.
You failed the test.
Taking your bra off is failing.
Keegan this is a mistake, okay? I was using you, and I'm sorry.
No, no, no, use me, use me, use me, use me.
Keegan, Keegan, I'm sorry.
- I'm saying to use me.
- I'm sorry.
Mikki.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, hey, hey.
You failed the test.
You know that, right? - Please.
Please.
- What? He doesn't even know your real name.
Neither do you.
Cindy, hello.
I'm here to see Keegan.
What is this in reference to? It's in reference to me being his long-suffering assistant whom he never seems to pay.
But that's my problem.
Well, actually, you're his domestic assistant.
I'm his real assistant.
Just to be clear.
Just to be even more clear, you may be his real assistant in here, but I'm his assistant everywhere in the universe, which includes here.
Well, as his assistant who actually gets paid to be his assistant, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you, Luanne.
It's "Leanne," and if you actually knew what being his assistant entailed, you'd forever give up coveting that position.
I'll be in his office, Carol.
Do you know that Jules has over 20,000 clients in there? I transcribed them all according to name, date, and pertinent pervy detail, like role play, toys, pain threshold.
Am I listed in here? Obviously.
But I chose not to transcribe your sordid details.
What about the other visitors? Got any highlights? Well, Roy wasn't in there, so at least I know he's sexually discerning.
That's the opposite of a highlight, Leanne.
Turns out America's favorite comedian has a fetish for women with extra toes.
I like the specificity, but is that - Ooh.
- I know.
Despite winning two oscars, this leading man can only orgasm whilst being dominated by little people.
- How little? - Very little.
- He played the Pope.
- Yeah.
You're telling me Max isn't in here? Nowhere.
Apparently, not even a prostitute will sleep with him for money.
Several of his clients, yes.
You know what? This book is leverage, Leanne.
As soon as word gets out about the twisted predilections of his other clients You'd leak it? That's very hypocritical for a man who believes in "live and let live.
" Yeah, well, Max brought it on himself once he brought bogus charges against Jules.
Okay, but before you do that, there is this one name that I thought would interest you.
Nobody was ever supposed to find out.
It was a bachelor party for Dave Kindy years ago.
Things got out of hand.
Well, now you got my attention.
These girls showed up.
I was so wasted, I gave them my credit card.
Jules takes plastic? What? - Nothing.
- Kee, you have to get my name out of that book.
I don't know, Ben, I kind of like not being the only perv in the room.
If anyone finds out, it could cost me the firm, everything, and what am I supposed to tell Scarlet? She's running for public office.
You're supposed to tell Scarlet nothing and know that I'm gonna take your name out of that book.
Thank you.
But you owe me.
Seriously? All right, we're even? Not even close.
Fine.
Excuse You know where 14 is? Stuck up actresses.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! 14? - Keegan Deane? - Yeah.
Fred Lunz.
The director? - Yeah.
- Sure, sure, sure.
I saw that online video of you going off on that actor.
He's all screaming about his motivation.
I was on your side.
I thought he deserved it.
Well, I find most actors need a good yelling at - every once in a while.
- Sure.
Why don't you go make a phone call or something, all right? Listen, I hear you have a book.
I need you to get my name out of that book.
The book, right.
The book, right? Fred, I don't know Okay, all right.
I was gonna go take my son to the game tonight, but why don't you enjoy these courtside seats for the Laker game.
- Okay? - Ah - Take the carrot.
- Okay.
Let's go.
Don't make me use the stick.
Got it.
Enjoy the game.
Excuse me, you guys know where 14 is? Yeah, it's right here.
That's hey, that's the guy.
You're the guy.
I'm the guy.
He's - Uh, Dutch.
- That's it.
"You like Sushi?" - Excuse me? - "We go wasabi.
" Uh, oh, okay, there it is.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
My kid made me watch that 20 times.
I swear, and I love that.
Hey, can I get a picture for him? Big fan.
- Uh, sure, come on.
- Okay, all right.
Great, great, great.
This is great.
I thought you were gonna be, like, giant.
- On the screen you're so big.
- No, no, no.
All right, here we go.
One, two, three.
All right.
- Looks good, huh? - Uh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe a little You put your hand on him, and I'll have security break it.
- Oh, it's cool, Max.
- No, it's not.
A.
P.
guy's waiting for you in your trailer.
I have no interest in that book you're peddling.
Oh, hell you don't.
Max, listen, it's got a lot of your featured clients in it, lurid details and all.
Who do you think you're dealing with here, Deane? I'm telling you, I'll go public with this, Max.
You may be a lawyer, but I am an agent.
I'm three rungs below you on the evolutionary scale.
Lawyer, pedophile, United States congressman, agent.
You got to come at me with something more than a pimp's black book.
Hey, hey, Max, come on.
What are you doing here? Going after your kid's peewee baseball coach or something.
What the hell's wrong with you? Is it because somebody finally had the balls to stand up to you and say no? Really? You think I don't hear the word "no" all day long from the studios, networks, producers? Do you how many of those nos I've turned into million-dollar deals and Oscar-winning performances? Not to mention four marriages that I turned into alimony payments.
"No" is a seduction.
It's a siren song, and it's the answer I'm giving you.
I'm not dropping the charges.
This is Hollywood, Deane.
With all the sociopaths in that book, I give it a three-to-one you even make it to our next court date.
That your car? One of many.
You are a real dick.
See you in court, Max.
Baby, I don't want to pressure you, but have you given any thought to the big question? David, I have been thinking about it a lot.
It's all I've been thinking about.
Gimme the Help me! - Hey! - Help me! Hey! Hey! Ugh! David! David! David! I'm okay, I'm okay.
Just call the police.
- Okay, okay.
Breathe.
- Need some help out here! Um, my my fiance has been shot.
D Duquesne and Washington.
Please, we need an ambulance now and the police! He caught the guy! Need you to knock down the outstanding debt, Roy.
That's not my call, Kee.
It's Victor you owe the money to.
We got nothing to talk about then.
Maybe I can cover part of the payment.
Cut it in half, I'll give you Leanne's number right now.
Half? Man, that's $2,000.
You're right, probably be cheaper for you to pick up some baby oil and tissue.
Kee, Kee, look, I can't get Leanne off my mind.
It's like this invisible force drawing her to me.
That's called Newton's first law of vaginal attraction.
That's some sweet fruit.
Don't talk to me about Leanne's fruit under any circumstances.
Come on, she didn't once mention my name? No.
Nothing.
And she's very private with that phone number.
I'm sorry, good night.
All right.
We got a deal.
You're taking advantage of a man in a position of weakness.
Hey, did you hear the news? David Potter's been shot.
I know.
Isn't it incredible? Stopping a mugger after the guy shot him? - Who does that sort of thing? - Well, at least they'll have something different to talk about tomorrow at city hall.
All I heard about all day was Kee and some madam's black book.
- You okay? - Fine.
Men are so juvenile.
They're either drooling over the details or terrified they're gonna be exposed.
You sure you're okay? I'm in the book.
Yeah, right.
It was years ago.
David Kindy's bachelor party.
The guys, they pressured me into a private dance with one of the women.
I'm just ramping up my campaign.
Don't worry, Kee's taking my name out of the book.
Tell me what happened.
- Well - I need to know.
Okay.
This girl and I, we went into a bedroom.
And? She took off her clothes.
Uh-huh.
And she got on the bed.
And then? And then I went out and I hid in the bathroom until she left.
Wait.
What? I pretended I had an urgent call to make, and I hid in the bathroom.
So nothing happened? Of course not.
I would never do that to you.
You seem disappointed.
Hiding in the bathroom is just a little Would you be happier if I had sex with two of them like Randy Weinstein did? Randy Weinstein had sex with two of them? That's not important.
What's important is that I didn't.
You should be happy about that.
- I am.
I'm just - You're I'm upset about other things, okay? Gloria? Went that well, huh? Mm-hmm.
So who didn't you tell? My phone has been ringing off the hook, and half of them have been death threats.
My trial starts in less than a week and you don't have one viable witness to testify on my behalf.
That's why we're asking for a continuance.
He doesn't need a continuance, he needs a dismissal.
Judge wants to see me in chambers.
What What is What does that mean? Oh, nothing good.
Why are you always so negative? - I am not always negative.
- Yes, you are.
What did the therapist say? Th The two most damaging words in a in a marriage are "Always" and "never.
" But you are always negative.
And I never I don't need this today, all right? Would you like a drink, Mr.
Deane? It's bourbon.
Yes, please.
I heard you've come into possession of a book.
Go on.
I'm being vetted for an open seat - for the appellate court.
- Mm.
The commission can't find that name in the book.
Well, your husband's bad behavior hasn't gotten in your way so far.
It's not his name I'm worried about.
Oh, that's unexpected.
Does Dr.
Stipple know about your preference? No.
Just take my name out of the book and I'll grant your continuance.
Come on.
I'm gonna save your professional future and all you're gonna do is give me a continuance? My client is innocent.
If you want the continuance, take every reference to Vivian Smith out of that book.
It's my maiden name.
Sure.
Vivian, listen It's a take-it-or-leave-it offer, Mr.
Deane.
Your charm might work on some people, but not this old "lesbyterian.
" Hey, I believe the law prohibits people like you from being within 100 yards of a school, and by "people like you," I mean sex offenders! If you don't resign your teaching position right now, I am calling the authorities.
Call whoever you want, okay? 'Cause your problem isn't with me professionally.
You're just jealous.
No! I am not jealous of your pathological desire to bang 15-year-olds! You're jealous because your son needed me.
Okay, he needed the love of an older woman because the love of his mother is clearly insufficient.
Or lacking altogether.
- Oh, is that what you think? - Yeah.
I think you're cold and withholding Withhold that, bitch! You okay? What kind of a world is it where I take down a sexual predator but I'm the one who gets arrested? You're in a world where California penal code section 240 says taking down anyone is a crime, but you're lucky.
I called Scarlet, and the D.
A.
's gonna drop the charges if you enter anger management.
If I enter anger management? I don't need anger management! No, I'm totally getting that.
I know what your problem is.
- Do you now? - It's so obvious.
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
I had the same issue at my last job.
It's why I had to leave.
What are you talking about? I was in love with my boss.
I am not in love with K Is this your pathetic attempt to get rid of me? I'm not the one who's still hanging around when my boss has clearly moved on.
Has he asked you to help him figure out the phone yet? Sorry.
- Ho ho! - You gave Roy my number? Wow, look at these bad boys.
Fantastic.
He's texted me 17 times.
I didn't give him anything.
I sold it to him for a fair price.
Oh, I'm so glad that my safety could be compromised to service your debt.
That That's good stuff.
A gift from monsignor Kavanaugh.
He said you'd understand.
Huh? Do you know who won't understand is Jules.
You only got a continuance.
Yeah.
None of the witnesses from the baseball game called you back? Nope.
Nothing from Max's clients? No.
Only got this.
- You met Dutch Sullivan.
- Yeah.
Hey, I want you to send that to yourself and print it out.
I want to frame it for finn.
Look at your face.
Did he go wasabi on your ass? No, he didn't go wasabi on my ass.
He did actually touch my ass, accidently.
Accidently.
Dutch Sullivan isn't gay.
Nobody's supposed to know, which means everybody does.
Oh That's why his Jack Missile deal stalled.
How do you know this? I read the tabloids.
Can't the guy just live his life? No one's saying he can't be gay.
He just can't be perceived as gay.
We need you to fill this out, sir.
In the unlikely event something goes wrong in surgery, we'll need to contact your next of kin.
Okay, you're looking a little glassy-eyed.
Let me do this, okay? Should I put your folks down? No, they're all the way in Des Moines.
Oh.
Uh your sister? She's at a refugee camp in Malawi.
I love corvettes.
I don't really have any next of kin close by.
I know this probably isn't the right time to ask this, but I don't want to wind up in a dumpster in the back of the hospital.
Would you be my next of kin, Mikhaela, please? Of course.
Well, this is very sweet, but I'm afraid - we have to take him now.
- Oh.
Am I dreaming this? 'Cause I'm really high right now.
Here, sign here.
You're not dreaming, darling.
Be careful, huh? That's my future husband.
Don't worry, we got this.
So according to the police report, you knocked her to the ground.
Yeah, and it was a really good, clean hit.
So you're either a professionally trained boxer, or you are a therapist with some serious rage issues.
With whom are you actually angry, Madeline? Oh, please, Beatrice.
I know what transference is.
I was really angry at the woman who abused my son, and I let her know using my fist, which felt great.
We stockpile rage, so even though it comes out directed at one person, the target is not necessarily the lone source of our anger.
Take the pillow.
Dear God, not the pillow.
The pillow.
Come on, you know how this works.
I'm gonna talk about the people in your life, you're gonna hit the pillow with the force appropriate for the amount of anger that you associate with that person.
Fine.
Go ahead.
Okay, your son.
My son never makes me angry.
Madeline.
What about that Bruce fellow you were talking about earlier? Good.
Your ex-husband? Come on.
Phew.
So I'm guessing there might be some feelings there.
Baby, I told you to call me when you were done.
No, it's okay, I'm all right.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
I know, just No, I'm sorry, we're not taking any more press interviews today.
Oh.
Mayor Barzmann.
- Sorry.
- Pleasure.
Mikhaela, I'm David's fiancee.
Oh.
Well, I hear councilman Guzman is petitioning to rename Spring Street "David Potter Avenue.
" Well, had I known that getting shot came with this many perks, I would have done it a lot sooner.
Gentlemen.
David, I have to tell you, I've been following your story, and I have been struck by your courage and your sacrifice and how well you've handled yourself in the press.
You're a very impressive man.
Well, I also got shot, which makes me a bit of a stupid man.
That makes you a hero.
If you would consider a run for D.
A.
, I'd be more than happy to give you my endorsement.
I-I'm incredibly honored.
Well, there's no reason to answer now, but I'll warn you, once I set my mind to something, it usually happens.
Let's be in touch.
Yeah.
Tell him to do this.
This is huge! This is what I've always wanted, I just didn't know it'd happen so soon.
Really, David? Are you sure you're ready for this now? I mean, look at all these reporters swarming around.
Baby, this is crazy.
I got nothing to hide.
I really want this.
Are we ready for this? Of course.
Of course.
Nobody's walking away from this deal because I'm gonna start breaking legs! What the hell? Are you insane? Get out of my car! Hey, I'm here to apologize.
You should apologize, you prick.
You better not be making a mark in my seat.
Listen, it was wrong of me to try and blackmail you into dropping charges against coach Darnell.
That's not the way you work.
I don't know what I was thinking.
The only way Max Fawcett's gonna do something for me is if I do something for him.
Am I right? That's where the game's over, because there's nothing you can do for me, Deane.
Actually no, I think there is.
Listen, all these rejections you've been able to spin into gold statues, I think there's one rejection, Max, that would kill you.
I think it would bring you to your knees, and that's a rejection from Dutch Sullivan, and I think that's about to happen unless you close this movie deal, and if he walks, they all walk.
Four movies, $85 million plus back end.
The studio wanted him, wanted him, wanted him.
Suddenly, they don't want him so much.
- Sure.
- If I don't close this deal in the next 36 hours, Dutch will walk.
That's where we can get into some creative deal-making, you and I.
You're gonna drop the charges against coach Darnell, and I'm gonna get Dutch Sullivan signed to play Jack Missile.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
There's not a shot in a million you could make that happen.
I like your odds.
Before I was found out, I never thought about who I was really hurting.
Only thought about myself and the numerous, numerous women I paid to have sex with on so many occasions.
I'm here today to announce that that yes, my name is in the infamous black book that's been leaked around town, and I'm seeking immediate help for my sex addiction issues With women.
Thank you.
Dutch, Dutch Mr.
Sullivan would like the press to respect his privacy during this difficult time.
He would also like to thank his studio for standing by him and believing in him to the degree that they've just signed him to play Jack Missile in four upcoming feature films.
Private jet.
We need the double-wide trailer with the extension for the gym and for the sauna.
Good job, Fawcett.
Uh, vegan chef, Sushi chef.
No, I know they contradict, but if the animal can't be dead I'm so proud of you, Darnell.
Letting that agent's boy pitch.
This is gonna be a nightmare.
Oh, good work, good work there, Fawcett.
Don't be afraid of the ball.
Now that you'll be closing the brothel, maybe we'll have a little more time to spend together.
Who said anything about me closing it? I lost a lot of my clients, but I can rebuild, baby.
If I so much as hear that word "brothel" come out of your mouth - again, sir, you - Do you know how many - fro-yos we have to sell - No, I do not, nor do I care.
to make what I make in an hour at the brothel? You know what, I'm not gonna listen to this.
As long as he can return it within a week after the shoot is over.
Okay, good-bye.
Hey.
I need you to get my name out of that book.
What name is that, Mikki? I'm so sorry about that.
Can you please just help me? Gave the book back to Jules.
Oh.
Is that it? Um, I guess I should get back to David.
You're really gonna marry this bastard just because he got shot? Good-bye, Keegan.
Mikki, you know how many people get shot in this city every year? Jules says thanks.
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
That I'm a prostitute.
Where is my money, Kee? You're just this like, innocent creature.
I'm not innocent, David.
Every other minute, I think that he's gonna find out everything about my past.
I'm thinking about running for D.
A.
When's the mayor gonna announce the endorsement? The Mayor of Los Angeles is dead.
I'd like to thank the city council for asking me to take my husband's seat.
Nice to see you again, Gloria.
You called me here to talk to him? You shouldn't have affairs with your students.
That was not a relationship.
That was a criminal act.
Leanne is on the phone for you.
She said she was your assistant.
I never do this sort of thing.
Yeah, me neither.
All right! Look alive.
Look alive, people.
Come on, let's go.
Okay.
Oh! Yeah, come on.
Get it, get it! All right, go, go, go! Yeah! Months and months you've been hot for my client, Ted.
Now it takes two hours to return a call? Dutch Sullivan is Jack Missile.
He was born to play that part.
I don't care what you're hearing! Dutch gets the part! Make it happen.
All right.
Ho, there we go! Did we close on Dutch? There's no "we," Brandon.
Is this tepid? It feels tepid.
All right.
What the hell is this? Perfect.
Let's go, guys.
Let's go.
Time out! Time out! Stop the game! What are you doing? What's my son doing in right field? I think he's fine where he is.
His talents are being wasted out there.
Right field fits his talents perfectly.
He should be pitching.
Mr.
Fawcett, why don't you sit back down and enjoy the game? Or make another phone call.
Do you know who I am? Yes, and I have a pretty good idea of what you are too.
Who the hell do you think you're talking to, buddy? You need to back your finger up, son.
- Listen, coach.
- Get back, man.
No, I'll tell you what to ow! Oh.
Oh, he hit me! That son of a bitch hit me! Oh, you all saw it! Ah! Ah.
- Ah.
- What are you people staring at? Someone call an ambulance.
Oh, God.
Oh I'm The dumbest guy in the office.
I still don't get it.
If you have an incoming call Incoming call.
Press the button next to the line that's blinking.
Okay.
To make an outgoing call, choose an unoccupied line.
Unoccupied line.
And you just dial? - Nine.
- Right.
And then the number.
And what's this little guy over here? Speakerphone.
Okay.
Good morning! - Hi.
- Morning.
- Kee? - Hmm? What the hell's going on here? Um, I'm sorry Mr.
Leon.
I was just I was just helping Mr.
Deane with his phone.
Complicated phone system.
Clearly, if you need to get undressed to demonstrate.
- Hit nine.
- Yes, nine.
Hit nine.
Hi, Mr.
Deane.
- Hey.
- Have a super day.
Everybody's so nice.
Are you out of your mind? I could say the same thing to you.
How about knocking on the door? Kee, this is a place of business.
Cindy's not a lesbian.
This proves it.
This proves nothing.
- This is your fault.
- What? I have nothing to do here, Ben.
Then figure something out that's not in violation of the California Fair Employment Act.
They allow for punitive damages in this state, Kee.
Punitive damages.
She came on to me.
Just stay out of trouble and stay out of Cindy.
That's called knocking.
Yeah? Kee, I Mr.
Deane, Mr.
Booker is here to see you.
Your bookie? My bookie's name isn't "Booker.
" Tell him I'm not here.
Yeah, you are.
I'm sorry, I owe you money? Wow.
Come on, man.
Do all big black men look alike to you? Kee, it's me.
Jules? How do you two know each other? We don't.
Uh, he's my decorator.
Uh, yeah.
We're going with all beige.
Your look was a lot more colorful when you were running the brothel.
Yeah, well, "Jules" is an act, Kee.
He's a persona I invented so I wouldn't scare off white boys like yourself.
- Eh? - See, when Jules gets upset, he comes off a little bitchy.
"Kee, where's my money?" - Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, but when Darnell gets upset, it's a different story.
"Kee! Where's my money?" - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- So you're not gay.
- No, no, no, bro.
I'm still gay, just not Jules gay.
Oh.
- What do you got? - Yeah, right here.
That's my husband and kids.
That is Blake, my boo, and then the little slugger is Blake, Jr.
, and That's Blanca, she's my baby.
Proud papa Jules.
Look at you.
Don't call me that when I'm talking about my kids, man.
I need to keep my lives separate and so do you.
Wait, wait a second.
Blake? Your husband doesn't know about Jules and the whole sex business? As far as the law is concerned, he can't know.
Oh, God.
There's a little chain of fro-yo shops that he maintains legit.
You might have heard of Blakeberry.
- You guys are Blakeberry? - Yeah.
I'm a Blakeberry flavor saver.
I got like, three Three more and I get, like, one of the tubs and a t-shirt, - the hat, the whole thing.
- Kee, Kee.
- I need this charge - You're Blakeberry? Yes.
Keegan, - I need this charge - Can't believe that.
to go away, all right? This is Max Fawcett we're talking about here.
The press is gonna be all over it.
It's only a matter of time before someone - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Connects the dots between Jules and Darnell.
Jules, I'd like to help you, honestly, but I work at a corporate old-school law firm.
They don't represent people in your profession.
You didn't have a problem with my profession when I was giving you a line of credit and my best girl.
Kee, this is my family we're talking about here.
- Be totally honest with me.
- Mm-hmm.
Would you vote for her? the mayor's endorsement? Hell, yeah, I'm voting for her.
You talk to Gloria yet? Yeah, I'm having lunch with her this week.
But you cleared the endorsement with her, right? Well, honey, she is one of my closest friends.
I'm pretty sure she's gonna endorse me over Fairfax Freddy, who has yet to make a campaign speech fully clothed.
You can't assume anything in a campaign, Scarlet.
People lose campaigns on assumptions all the time.
Well, Mayor Barzmann did endorse me, just not this Mayor Barzmann.
Scarlet, these can't go out until you talk to her.
They can't.
There, are you happy now? Honey, I am trying to protect you.
You've made it more than clear how important this election is to you, so I'm gonna do everything I can to help you win.
You're running as a freshman D.
A.
People need to know Gloria's got your back.
So what are we supposed to do with all of these? We'll add pictures of me and the kids, write "Feliz Navidad" across the top and send them out next Christmas.
But they don't go out without Gloria's endorsement.
You know, you can be really tough sometimes? I like it.
Look, say what you want to say about it, but my father knew how to get his guys into city hall, and I'm gonna do the same for you.
That was amazing.
Mmm.
Where did you learn to do that? Huh? I I went to a very progressive high school in Europe.
Oh, God, why couldn't I have gone to school in Europe? Was it good for you? Mmm, yeah, I made a lot of good friends.
No.
What? - I mean this.
- Oh! W Oh, yeah, it was really nice.
It was nice? Oh, my David, it was amazing.
It was great.
I don't I don't like to quantify intimacy.
I just think that any exchange of affection between us is meaningful because it's us.
You're so right.
Marry me.
Is that your orgasm proposing? My orgasm only speaks for one particular part of my body.
I'm talking to you from my heart.
I love you.
I'm enthralled by you.
I want to spend the rest of my life being dumbfounded by you, being amazed by you.
Will you marry me? My God.
Oh, I love you too, David.
I really do, I j I just need some Like, a little bit of time.
Is that okay? Yeah.
That's fine, I'll wait, but mark my words, when you do say yes, you're gonna look back and you're gonna regret that you could have been engaged to me that much sooner.
That your husband? Yeah, that's Blake.
I told him I didn't want him here, but as soon as you say that, you know what's happening.
I hear that.
Damn straight.
If I knew it was gonna be like this, I would have told those marriage equality people to go to hell.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
All rise.
Be seated.
Considering the severity of the victim's injuries, I'm going to grant the prosecutor's request.
This case will be upgraded to felony assault.
Mr.
Deane, the clerk will give you your new trial date.
Your honor, this is completely unreasonable.
Approach the bench.
Judge Stipple, I don't think we've had the pleasure.
My husband warned me about you.
Dr.
Sean Stipple.
Perhaps you remember him from the hills country club? Oh, yeah.
How's he doing? Miserable, since you got him banned from the course for fighting.
Well, he did throw a golf club at me.
Only after you endlessly harassed him for moving slowly.
That's called "slow play," yeah.
I know your reputation, Mr.
Deane, and I won't put up with any bad behavior.
Court adjourned.
I don't suppose you want to give me a little smile for my client's sake.
Thank you.
So did she take back the felony charge, or Pretty much, yeah.
We're gonna be fine.
There's plenty of witnesses who saw exactly what happened.
So you were at the game.
You came out of the stands once the fight started, and you can't tell me what you saw? I'd like to help.
Coach has been incredible.
He helped put Justin on track for a college scholarship.
College? How old is he? Just turned ten.
We have our eye on Stanford's program.
Rotate and extend, Justin, like in the footage! Hey, you know Coach Darnell can go to prison for a long time, right? Mr.
Deane, my husband's an accountant.
His firm almost tanked until Max referred him to two "A" list directors.
I hope you can understand.
Electrolyte break! All these helicopter parents It's a wonder the kids haven't had their heads chopped off.
- How'd you go? - No luck.
The lady in the hat saw the fight but she won't testify because Max arranged for her new line of soy candles to be included in the gift baskets for the oscars.
How about the guy in the beard? He won't talk.
Max got him a speaking part in a Dutch Sullivan movie.
I knew I recognized him.
Tokyo Rampart.
Vince made me watch it 20 times.
"You like Sushi?" "Get your chopsticks ready.
" "I'm going wasabi on his ass.
" You ever been to the movies with Roy? Why would I go to the movies with Roy? No reason.
Only that he mentioned he liked the movies the last time that we spoke that day at your apartment.
Although we couldn't very well speak after that, 'cause he doesn't have my number.
Unless he asked you for it.
He didn't.
I know he likes to go to the movies with his pregnant wife, Leanne.
He hasn't mention me at all? Hey, what happened to the guy from Scotland? First name starts with a "B.
" Hey, honey.
Everything all right? Do people become shrinks because they're crazy? Excuse me? Is this about Stacy? Yeah, she's with someone else now.
Well, honey, I'm sorry, but that's to be expected.
She's an adult woman with an adult life, so I mean, surely you can understand that she needs to be with someone her own age.
I could understand that if she hadn't left me for someone younger.
Younger? Younger than you? Yeah.
The little zit-faced loser just turned 15.
Great shrink work, mom.
Scarlet.
What can I do for you? I don't want to take up too much of your time.
You're still annoyed with me for setting up that meeting with Kee aren't you? Was that a meeting? 'Cause it felt more like an ambush.
I'm sorry.
I was really hoping that we could put it behind us because Because you want my endorsement.
I'm gonna think about that and get back to you.
Look, I know I used bad judgment, but Gloria, we've been friends for a really long There's a lot more to consider now than just our friendship, Scarlet.
Okay.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Mr.
Deane.
Over here.
Blake? Hey.
What's up Darnell? This is my husband's black No, excuse me.
This is Jules's black book.
In it there's enough to make this case disappear.
Hey, no, it's gonna make me disappear too.
Excuse me, but we've discussed this and decided it's the right thing to do.
No, you decided it was the right thing to do.
- Just take a look let me - No! Stop it! You actually have a little black book? That is very old-school of you, Jules.
You didn't want to just load it on a flash drive? Well, computers get hacked, Kee.
This book is the only copy of my client records.
- Come on.
- No.
And it has never left my possession.
My business is built on a covenant of privacy with my clients, all right? If word gets out that I exposed even one of them, this whole city will go under panic, okay? You have 48 hours.
Guard that book with your life.
Hey, hey, hey, you can trust me.
I'm not only your lawyer, I'm a former client.
I give you full discretion.
Yeah, counting on Keegan Deane for discretion.
Hmm.
Yeah, good job there, Blake.
Yeah, but of course you know what's best.
Oh, but I do know what is best, Darnell, for my family, and that is keeping my man out of jail.
Yeah, well, I'm already in jail.
- Are you? - Emotional jail with a man who only cares about what he wants! Well, help yourself to any loose change or women's jewelry you find between the cushions.
I just got my hand on a little black Little black book.
Mmm, that was nice.
What happened to this "just friends" policy of yours? You were pretty adamant about that.
Yeah, well, I changed my mind.
You and Harry have a fight? Uh-uh.
Can you shut up? Okay.
Clay Randolph fill him in, or did one of your ex-clients clue him in on your past? Your 20 questions are up.
He ask you to marry him? Oh, that's it? Seriously? He proposed? Can this guy be any more predictable? Oh, my God, what am I doing? Don't tell me you said yes.
I haven't answered.
Don't tell me you're gonna say yes.
I just thought that maybe if I could be with someone else, then maybe I shouldn't.
No, listen, you're using me to test yourself.
Yes, sorry.
Okay, this is great.
This is great.
You failed the test.
Taking your bra off is failing.
Keegan this is a mistake, okay? I was using you, and I'm sorry.
No, no, no, use me, use me, use me, use me.
Keegan, Keegan, I'm sorry.
- I'm saying to use me.
- I'm sorry.
Mikki.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, hey, hey.
You failed the test.
You know that, right? - Please.
Please.
- What? He doesn't even know your real name.
Neither do you.
Cindy, hello.
I'm here to see Keegan.
What is this in reference to? It's in reference to me being his long-suffering assistant whom he never seems to pay.
But that's my problem.
Well, actually, you're his domestic assistant.
I'm his real assistant.
Just to be clear.
Just to be even more clear, you may be his real assistant in here, but I'm his assistant everywhere in the universe, which includes here.
Well, as his assistant who actually gets paid to be his assistant, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you, Luanne.
It's "Leanne," and if you actually knew what being his assistant entailed, you'd forever give up coveting that position.
I'll be in his office, Carol.
Do you know that Jules has over 20,000 clients in there? I transcribed them all according to name, date, and pertinent pervy detail, like role play, toys, pain threshold.
Am I listed in here? Obviously.
But I chose not to transcribe your sordid details.
What about the other visitors? Got any highlights? Well, Roy wasn't in there, so at least I know he's sexually discerning.
That's the opposite of a highlight, Leanne.
Turns out America's favorite comedian has a fetish for women with extra toes.
I like the specificity, but is that - Ooh.
- I know.
Despite winning two oscars, this leading man can only orgasm whilst being dominated by little people.
- How little? - Very little.
- He played the Pope.
- Yeah.
You're telling me Max isn't in here? Nowhere.
Apparently, not even a prostitute will sleep with him for money.
Several of his clients, yes.
You know what? This book is leverage, Leanne.
As soon as word gets out about the twisted predilections of his other clients You'd leak it? That's very hypocritical for a man who believes in "live and let live.
" Yeah, well, Max brought it on himself once he brought bogus charges against Jules.
Okay, but before you do that, there is this one name that I thought would interest you.
Nobody was ever supposed to find out.
It was a bachelor party for Dave Kindy years ago.
Things got out of hand.
Well, now you got my attention.
These girls showed up.
I was so wasted, I gave them my credit card.
Jules takes plastic? What? - Nothing.
- Kee, you have to get my name out of that book.
I don't know, Ben, I kind of like not being the only perv in the room.
If anyone finds out, it could cost me the firm, everything, and what am I supposed to tell Scarlet? She's running for public office.
You're supposed to tell Scarlet nothing and know that I'm gonna take your name out of that book.
Thank you.
But you owe me.
Seriously? All right, we're even? Not even close.
Fine.
Excuse You know where 14 is? Stuck up actresses.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! 14? - Keegan Deane? - Yeah.
Fred Lunz.
The director? - Yeah.
- Sure, sure, sure.
I saw that online video of you going off on that actor.
He's all screaming about his motivation.
I was on your side.
I thought he deserved it.
Well, I find most actors need a good yelling at - every once in a while.
- Sure.
Why don't you go make a phone call or something, all right? Listen, I hear you have a book.
I need you to get my name out of that book.
The book, right.
The book, right? Fred, I don't know Okay, all right.
I was gonna go take my son to the game tonight, but why don't you enjoy these courtside seats for the Laker game.
- Okay? - Ah - Take the carrot.
- Okay.
Let's go.
Don't make me use the stick.
Got it.
Enjoy the game.
Excuse me, you guys know where 14 is? Yeah, it's right here.
That's hey, that's the guy.
You're the guy.
I'm the guy.
He's - Uh, Dutch.
- That's it.
"You like Sushi?" - Excuse me? - "We go wasabi.
" Uh, oh, okay, there it is.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
My kid made me watch that 20 times.
I swear, and I love that.
Hey, can I get a picture for him? Big fan.
- Uh, sure, come on.
- Okay, all right.
Great, great, great.
This is great.
I thought you were gonna be, like, giant.
- On the screen you're so big.
- No, no, no.
All right, here we go.
One, two, three.
All right.
- Looks good, huh? - Uh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe a little You put your hand on him, and I'll have security break it.
- Oh, it's cool, Max.
- No, it's not.
A.
P.
guy's waiting for you in your trailer.
I have no interest in that book you're peddling.
Oh, hell you don't.
Max, listen, it's got a lot of your featured clients in it, lurid details and all.
Who do you think you're dealing with here, Deane? I'm telling you, I'll go public with this, Max.
You may be a lawyer, but I am an agent.
I'm three rungs below you on the evolutionary scale.
Lawyer, pedophile, United States congressman, agent.
You got to come at me with something more than a pimp's black book.
Hey, hey, Max, come on.
What are you doing here? Going after your kid's peewee baseball coach or something.
What the hell's wrong with you? Is it because somebody finally had the balls to stand up to you and say no? Really? You think I don't hear the word "no" all day long from the studios, networks, producers? Do you how many of those nos I've turned into million-dollar deals and Oscar-winning performances? Not to mention four marriages that I turned into alimony payments.
"No" is a seduction.
It's a siren song, and it's the answer I'm giving you.
I'm not dropping the charges.
This is Hollywood, Deane.
With all the sociopaths in that book, I give it a three-to-one you even make it to our next court date.
That your car? One of many.
You are a real dick.
See you in court, Max.
Baby, I don't want to pressure you, but have you given any thought to the big question? David, I have been thinking about it a lot.
It's all I've been thinking about.
Gimme the Help me! - Hey! - Help me! Hey! Hey! Ugh! David! David! David! I'm okay, I'm okay.
Just call the police.
- Okay, okay.
Breathe.
- Need some help out here! Um, my my fiance has been shot.
D Duquesne and Washington.
Please, we need an ambulance now and the police! He caught the guy! Need you to knock down the outstanding debt, Roy.
That's not my call, Kee.
It's Victor you owe the money to.
We got nothing to talk about then.
Maybe I can cover part of the payment.
Cut it in half, I'll give you Leanne's number right now.
Half? Man, that's $2,000.
You're right, probably be cheaper for you to pick up some baby oil and tissue.
Kee, Kee, look, I can't get Leanne off my mind.
It's like this invisible force drawing her to me.
That's called Newton's first law of vaginal attraction.
That's some sweet fruit.
Don't talk to me about Leanne's fruit under any circumstances.
Come on, she didn't once mention my name? No.
Nothing.
And she's very private with that phone number.
I'm sorry, good night.
All right.
We got a deal.
You're taking advantage of a man in a position of weakness.
Hey, did you hear the news? David Potter's been shot.
I know.
Isn't it incredible? Stopping a mugger after the guy shot him? - Who does that sort of thing? - Well, at least they'll have something different to talk about tomorrow at city hall.
All I heard about all day was Kee and some madam's black book.
- You okay? - Fine.
Men are so juvenile.
They're either drooling over the details or terrified they're gonna be exposed.
You sure you're okay? I'm in the book.
Yeah, right.
It was years ago.
David Kindy's bachelor party.
The guys, they pressured me into a private dance with one of the women.
I'm just ramping up my campaign.
Don't worry, Kee's taking my name out of the book.
Tell me what happened.
- Well - I need to know.
Okay.
This girl and I, we went into a bedroom.
And? She took off her clothes.
Uh-huh.
And she got on the bed.
And then? And then I went out and I hid in the bathroom until she left.
Wait.
What? I pretended I had an urgent call to make, and I hid in the bathroom.
So nothing happened? Of course not.
I would never do that to you.
You seem disappointed.
Hiding in the bathroom is just a little Would you be happier if I had sex with two of them like Randy Weinstein did? Randy Weinstein had sex with two of them? That's not important.
What's important is that I didn't.
You should be happy about that.
- I am.
I'm just - You're I'm upset about other things, okay? Gloria? Went that well, huh? Mm-hmm.
So who didn't you tell? My phone has been ringing off the hook, and half of them have been death threats.
My trial starts in less than a week and you don't have one viable witness to testify on my behalf.
That's why we're asking for a continuance.
He doesn't need a continuance, he needs a dismissal.
Judge wants to see me in chambers.
What What is What does that mean? Oh, nothing good.
Why are you always so negative? - I am not always negative.
- Yes, you are.
What did the therapist say? Th The two most damaging words in a in a marriage are "Always" and "never.
" But you are always negative.
And I never I don't need this today, all right? Would you like a drink, Mr.
Deane? It's bourbon.
Yes, please.
I heard you've come into possession of a book.
Go on.
I'm being vetted for an open seat - for the appellate court.
- Mm.
The commission can't find that name in the book.
Well, your husband's bad behavior hasn't gotten in your way so far.
It's not his name I'm worried about.
Oh, that's unexpected.
Does Dr.
Stipple know about your preference? No.
Just take my name out of the book and I'll grant your continuance.
Come on.
I'm gonna save your professional future and all you're gonna do is give me a continuance? My client is innocent.
If you want the continuance, take every reference to Vivian Smith out of that book.
It's my maiden name.
Sure.
Vivian, listen It's a take-it-or-leave-it offer, Mr.
Deane.
Your charm might work on some people, but not this old "lesbyterian.
" Hey, I believe the law prohibits people like you from being within 100 yards of a school, and by "people like you," I mean sex offenders! If you don't resign your teaching position right now, I am calling the authorities.
Call whoever you want, okay? 'Cause your problem isn't with me professionally.
You're just jealous.
No! I am not jealous of your pathological desire to bang 15-year-olds! You're jealous because your son needed me.
Okay, he needed the love of an older woman because the love of his mother is clearly insufficient.
Or lacking altogether.
- Oh, is that what you think? - Yeah.
I think you're cold and withholding Withhold that, bitch! You okay? What kind of a world is it where I take down a sexual predator but I'm the one who gets arrested? You're in a world where California penal code section 240 says taking down anyone is a crime, but you're lucky.
I called Scarlet, and the D.
A.
's gonna drop the charges if you enter anger management.
If I enter anger management? I don't need anger management! No, I'm totally getting that.
I know what your problem is.
- Do you now? - It's so obvious.
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
I had the same issue at my last job.
It's why I had to leave.
What are you talking about? I was in love with my boss.
I am not in love with K Is this your pathetic attempt to get rid of me? I'm not the one who's still hanging around when my boss has clearly moved on.
Has he asked you to help him figure out the phone yet? Sorry.
- Ho ho! - You gave Roy my number? Wow, look at these bad boys.
Fantastic.
He's texted me 17 times.
I didn't give him anything.
I sold it to him for a fair price.
Oh, I'm so glad that my safety could be compromised to service your debt.
That That's good stuff.
A gift from monsignor Kavanaugh.
He said you'd understand.
Huh? Do you know who won't understand is Jules.
You only got a continuance.
Yeah.
None of the witnesses from the baseball game called you back? Nope.
Nothing from Max's clients? No.
Only got this.
- You met Dutch Sullivan.
- Yeah.
Hey, I want you to send that to yourself and print it out.
I want to frame it for finn.
Look at your face.
Did he go wasabi on your ass? No, he didn't go wasabi on my ass.
He did actually touch my ass, accidently.
Accidently.
Dutch Sullivan isn't gay.
Nobody's supposed to know, which means everybody does.
Oh That's why his Jack Missile deal stalled.
How do you know this? I read the tabloids.
Can't the guy just live his life? No one's saying he can't be gay.
He just can't be perceived as gay.
We need you to fill this out, sir.
In the unlikely event something goes wrong in surgery, we'll need to contact your next of kin.
Okay, you're looking a little glassy-eyed.
Let me do this, okay? Should I put your folks down? No, they're all the way in Des Moines.
Oh.
Uh your sister? She's at a refugee camp in Malawi.
I love corvettes.
I don't really have any next of kin close by.
I know this probably isn't the right time to ask this, but I don't want to wind up in a dumpster in the back of the hospital.
Would you be my next of kin, Mikhaela, please? Of course.
Well, this is very sweet, but I'm afraid - we have to take him now.
- Oh.
Am I dreaming this? 'Cause I'm really high right now.
Here, sign here.
You're not dreaming, darling.
Be careful, huh? That's my future husband.
Don't worry, we got this.
So according to the police report, you knocked her to the ground.
Yeah, and it was a really good, clean hit.
So you're either a professionally trained boxer, or you are a therapist with some serious rage issues.
With whom are you actually angry, Madeline? Oh, please, Beatrice.
I know what transference is.
I was really angry at the woman who abused my son, and I let her know using my fist, which felt great.
We stockpile rage, so even though it comes out directed at one person, the target is not necessarily the lone source of our anger.
Take the pillow.
Dear God, not the pillow.
The pillow.
Come on, you know how this works.
I'm gonna talk about the people in your life, you're gonna hit the pillow with the force appropriate for the amount of anger that you associate with that person.
Fine.
Go ahead.
Okay, your son.
My son never makes me angry.
Madeline.
What about that Bruce fellow you were talking about earlier? Good.
Your ex-husband? Come on.
Phew.
So I'm guessing there might be some feelings there.
Baby, I told you to call me when you were done.
No, it's okay, I'm all right.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
I know, just No, I'm sorry, we're not taking any more press interviews today.
Oh.
Mayor Barzmann.
- Sorry.
- Pleasure.
Mikhaela, I'm David's fiancee.
Oh.
Well, I hear councilman Guzman is petitioning to rename Spring Street "David Potter Avenue.
" Well, had I known that getting shot came with this many perks, I would have done it a lot sooner.
Gentlemen.
David, I have to tell you, I've been following your story, and I have been struck by your courage and your sacrifice and how well you've handled yourself in the press.
You're a very impressive man.
Well, I also got shot, which makes me a bit of a stupid man.
That makes you a hero.
If you would consider a run for D.
A.
, I'd be more than happy to give you my endorsement.
I-I'm incredibly honored.
Well, there's no reason to answer now, but I'll warn you, once I set my mind to something, it usually happens.
Let's be in touch.
Yeah.
Tell him to do this.
This is huge! This is what I've always wanted, I just didn't know it'd happen so soon.
Really, David? Are you sure you're ready for this now? I mean, look at all these reporters swarming around.
Baby, this is crazy.
I got nothing to hide.
I really want this.
Are we ready for this? Of course.
Of course.
Nobody's walking away from this deal because I'm gonna start breaking legs! What the hell? Are you insane? Get out of my car! Hey, I'm here to apologize.
You should apologize, you prick.
You better not be making a mark in my seat.
Listen, it was wrong of me to try and blackmail you into dropping charges against coach Darnell.
That's not the way you work.
I don't know what I was thinking.
The only way Max Fawcett's gonna do something for me is if I do something for him.
Am I right? That's where the game's over, because there's nothing you can do for me, Deane.
Actually no, I think there is.
Listen, all these rejections you've been able to spin into gold statues, I think there's one rejection, Max, that would kill you.
I think it would bring you to your knees, and that's a rejection from Dutch Sullivan, and I think that's about to happen unless you close this movie deal, and if he walks, they all walk.
Four movies, $85 million plus back end.
The studio wanted him, wanted him, wanted him.
Suddenly, they don't want him so much.
- Sure.
- If I don't close this deal in the next 36 hours, Dutch will walk.
That's where we can get into some creative deal-making, you and I.
You're gonna drop the charges against coach Darnell, and I'm gonna get Dutch Sullivan signed to play Jack Missile.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
There's not a shot in a million you could make that happen.
I like your odds.
Before I was found out, I never thought about who I was really hurting.
Only thought about myself and the numerous, numerous women I paid to have sex with on so many occasions.
I'm here today to announce that that yes, my name is in the infamous black book that's been leaked around town, and I'm seeking immediate help for my sex addiction issues With women.
Thank you.
Dutch, Dutch Mr.
Sullivan would like the press to respect his privacy during this difficult time.
He would also like to thank his studio for standing by him and believing in him to the degree that they've just signed him to play Jack Missile in four upcoming feature films.
Private jet.
We need the double-wide trailer with the extension for the gym and for the sauna.
Good job, Fawcett.
Uh, vegan chef, Sushi chef.
No, I know they contradict, but if the animal can't be dead I'm so proud of you, Darnell.
Letting that agent's boy pitch.
This is gonna be a nightmare.
Oh, good work, good work there, Fawcett.
Don't be afraid of the ball.
Now that you'll be closing the brothel, maybe we'll have a little more time to spend together.
Who said anything about me closing it? I lost a lot of my clients, but I can rebuild, baby.
If I so much as hear that word "brothel" come out of your mouth - again, sir, you - Do you know how many - fro-yos we have to sell - No, I do not, nor do I care.
to make what I make in an hour at the brothel? You know what, I'm not gonna listen to this.
As long as he can return it within a week after the shoot is over.
Okay, good-bye.
Hey.
I need you to get my name out of that book.
What name is that, Mikki? I'm so sorry about that.
Can you please just help me? Gave the book back to Jules.
Oh.
Is that it? Um, I guess I should get back to David.
You're really gonna marry this bastard just because he got shot? Good-bye, Keegan.
Mikki, you know how many people get shot in this city every year? Jules says thanks.
Sync & Corrections by Darcade