Ramy (2019) s01e10 Episode Script
Cairo Cowboy
- [BIRDS CHIRPING.]
- [STREET VENDOR SHOUTING.]
[VENDOR CONTINUES SHOUTING.]
RAMY: [SIGHS.]
Shadi.
Shadi.
I wanna go see Jiddo.
[MURMURS.]
You said we're gonna go see Grandpa in the village.
SHADI: You're too good to face.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- [SHADI SNORES.]
[CHIMING.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [CHIMING.]
The fuck happened to the iPads, man? Misho said you screwed the whole damn thing up.
- RAMY: I know, man, I know.
- AHMED: Yo, man.
Don't sweat it.
I told this guy it's too much responsibility to give you.
As long as you're safe.
Are you safe? - You look like shit.
- AMANI: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- I got you some water and aspirin.
You're really gonna want to take this.
Hey, whoever's there, can you give him a little smack? Who's that? Been there a day, already got yourself a little situation.
This is my my cousin, Amani.
My uncle's daughter.
I'm at my uncle's house.
[CONTINUES IN ARABIC.]
Yeah, cousin! [LAUGHS.]
We love your family.
I know the American side.
Hamdallah, really good family.
- Good people.
- Um, thank you.
Really nice to meet you, but I gotta go.
Um, the driver's gonna take you to see Jiddo 'cause Shadi's obviously not in any state.
I'm sorry, I'd come with you, but I have to be at the gallery all day.
- No.
Thank you for setting it up.
- AMANI: Oh.
It's okay.
- [LAUGHS.]
Bye.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
Bro, that's your cousin? Fuck! A hot Egyptian, speaks bangin' English.
Lock it up! [WHISPERS.]
What part of "she's my cousin" don't you get? What do you mean? It's perfect.
It's all family.
That's it.
No in-laws.
Everyone's just "in.
" I I'm I'm not having this conversation, okay? - It's disgusting.
- MO: Propaganda.
- Man, look.
- MO: Here, just take the damn thing.
AHMED: Dude, that birth defect stuff is bullshit, man.
It only goes up from, like, 1.
4% to 2.
8% for something to be off.
It's only a real problem when the kids of the cousins start hookin' up with the cousins.
So if you don't have any cousins above you, you're fine, bro.
Maybe you should look into seeing if your grandparents are cousins.
MO: Find out if your grandparents are cousins.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[HORNS HONKING.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, why-you, why-you, why-you, why? [LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
[CAR RATTLING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Ah! - [HORN HONKING.]
- DRIVER: Hey, hey, hey, hey! [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[HOOD OPENING.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
DRIVER: Hey Hey [TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[JACKALS CALL IN THE DISTANCE.]
[PANTING.]
[CROWS CAWING.]
[MAN CHUCKLES.]
MAN: [SPEAKING ARABIC IN THE DISTANCE.]
RAMY: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES.]
[PANTING.]
[ECHOING.]
You're looking a little sweaty.
What? [ECHOING.]
You wanna take a shower? [INDISTINCT SHOUT IN THE BACKGROUND.]
I I could really use a shower.
[ECHOING.]
We can take a shower together.
[SHOUTING INTENSIFIES.]
Who cares if I'm your cousin? Fuck.
I-I gotta shower by myself.
[WINDBLOWN LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[CHATTER IN ARABIC.]
JIDDO: Ramy? Habibi, habibi, habibi.
[KISSING.]
Habibi, Farouk.
[HEARTFELT MUSIC.]
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Help! Help! [SHOUTING IN ARABIC.]
[PRAYERS IN ARABIC PLAYING OVER P.
A.
.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hello.
UNCLE: Hello.
Did you just pretend to kill yourself at Grandpa's funeral? God, it's so much, dude.
It's so depressing.
He wouldn't have wanted any of this.
Like, who are these people? How are you holding up? Um I I don't know.
I mean, it was really crazy to walk in on him like that.
Yeah.
No, I I get that.
[WOMAN WEEPING IN THE BACKGROUND.]
Do you wanna hang out later? Uh you wanna hang out with me? Yeah, dude, we're cousins and we haven't spent any time together.
And I don't want to hang out in the house.
I could change and we could go somewhere.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, cool.
- Cool.
- All right.
[PRAYERS IN ARABIC CONTINUE.]
[UNCLE SPEAKING ARABIC.]
RAMY: [LAUGHING.]
What are you talking about? AMANI: It's not It's not that weird.
How do you know what mummies smell like? Because I studied archeology.
You know this.
We used to go on digs and go to museums, and we used to pack them with these spices.
- Just trust me, they smell good.
- RAMY: Really? So you smell 'em, like, every weekend, or what? I want to, but, um yeah, to take it seriously, you kind of have to study abroad, and I met someone here, and then the revolution happened, so I didn't really feel like I could leave, so I mean, I could have left, but I felt a responsibility to stay.
I'm kind of working in my friend's gallery until I figure it out.
Tha that's really cool, though.
You still, uh, seein' anyone? No.
It's, uh, tricky to date here especially if you've been divorced.
You were married? Yeah.
To that guy.
For, like, a month.
- Grandpa hated him.
- [CHUCKLES.]
AMANI: Probably should have listened to him.
Yeah, guys here either want to marry a virgin or have sex on the first date.
- Wow.
- AMANI: Yeah.
- Just nothing in between.
- AMANI: Nope, not here.
How 'bout you? You know, I'm kinda trying to figure it out.
- AMANI: Yeah? - Like, everything in general, but also, you know who I want to be with, I guess.
I, uh I've dated women who think it's crazy that I believe in God.
Like God God, not yoga.
- [LAUGHS.]
- RAMY: You know, like - Mm-hm.
- RAMY: Like, and I try to tell them, I'm like, "Child's pose and prayer, are the same position, [STUTTERING.]
like, we're so close, we're almost doing the same thing.
" [LAUGHING.]
RAMY: Yeah, I've dated Muslim women, and I feel like the problem's really that I just don't know what kind of Muslim I am.
Like, there's Friday prayers, and then there's Friday night, and and and I'm, like, at both, you know, like, I wanna pray, I wanna go to the party, and I'm breaking some rules, I'm following others, and I thought coming here would give me some clarity and and help me figure it out, just being in this country, seeing Grandpa But I don't know, obviously that hasn't really worked.
There's somewhere I wanna take you.
It's really close.
You'll get it when we get there, just don't freak out.
Okay.
Yeah, let's go.
MAN: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
AMANI: Sit here.
[SINGING IN ARABIC.]
[ALL JOIN IN SINGING.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
- [SINGING CONTINUES.]
- [HAND DRUM PLAYING.]
[SINGING, DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
[MUSIC SPEEDS UP.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHATTER.]
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah.
This is a lot less touristy.
[ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- That is for you.
- This is insane.
[CHATTER.]
- [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- You're definitely liking this.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
That's a full-on dervish.
[CHATTER.]
- Wow.
- I know.
AMANI: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- Okay, come with me, gotta get on.
- Both of us? - Yes.
No, get on.
- On this? - Get on.
- RAMY: Okay, okay.
AMANI: [LAUGHS.]
All right, get your feet up.
- You good? - Yeah.
You're not gonna die.
- Probably.
- Okay.
[AMANI LAUGHS.]
RAMY: I can't stop thinking about that prayer.
AMANI: Some people think I'm insane for going there, but I tend to overthink things, and it That place is where I learned to just give in.
I I felt that.
And and it made me think, you know maybe that's why I came here.
To To give in.
AMANI: Um, Ramy I think we're both just feeling a lot of things because Grandpa just died.
Yeah, yeah.
I Yeah.
Sorry.
I was just trying to, like, give in, but I Yeah, we're cousins, so - We're cousins.
- RAMY: Yeah.
But, so what? I know.
I know it's weird, but you get me.
And And we have so much in common Because we're related.
Okay, look, if you're if you're not feeling it, it's okay.
Look, I haven't had this in a really long time.
But Well, then, if you feel it and I feel it, then why should we judge that feeling? AMANI: We're cousins.
[SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We're cousins.
We're cousins.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING.]
- [STREET VENDOR SHOUTING.]
[VENDOR CONTINUES SHOUTING.]
RAMY: [SIGHS.]
Shadi.
Shadi.
I wanna go see Jiddo.
[MURMURS.]
You said we're gonna go see Grandpa in the village.
SHADI: You're too good to face.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- [SHADI SNORES.]
[CHIMING.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [CHIMING.]
The fuck happened to the iPads, man? Misho said you screwed the whole damn thing up.
- RAMY: I know, man, I know.
- AHMED: Yo, man.
Don't sweat it.
I told this guy it's too much responsibility to give you.
As long as you're safe.
Are you safe? - You look like shit.
- AMANI: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- I got you some water and aspirin.
You're really gonna want to take this.
Hey, whoever's there, can you give him a little smack? Who's that? Been there a day, already got yourself a little situation.
This is my my cousin, Amani.
My uncle's daughter.
I'm at my uncle's house.
[CONTINUES IN ARABIC.]
Yeah, cousin! [LAUGHS.]
We love your family.
I know the American side.
Hamdallah, really good family.
- Good people.
- Um, thank you.
Really nice to meet you, but I gotta go.
Um, the driver's gonna take you to see Jiddo 'cause Shadi's obviously not in any state.
I'm sorry, I'd come with you, but I have to be at the gallery all day.
- No.
Thank you for setting it up.
- AMANI: Oh.
It's okay.
- [LAUGHS.]
Bye.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
Bro, that's your cousin? Fuck! A hot Egyptian, speaks bangin' English.
Lock it up! [WHISPERS.]
What part of "she's my cousin" don't you get? What do you mean? It's perfect.
It's all family.
That's it.
No in-laws.
Everyone's just "in.
" I I'm I'm not having this conversation, okay? - It's disgusting.
- MO: Propaganda.
- Man, look.
- MO: Here, just take the damn thing.
AHMED: Dude, that birth defect stuff is bullshit, man.
It only goes up from, like, 1.
4% to 2.
8% for something to be off.
It's only a real problem when the kids of the cousins start hookin' up with the cousins.
So if you don't have any cousins above you, you're fine, bro.
Maybe you should look into seeing if your grandparents are cousins.
MO: Find out if your grandparents are cousins.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[HORNS HONKING.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, why-you, why-you, why-you, why? [LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
[CAR RATTLING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Ah! - [HORN HONKING.]
- DRIVER: Hey, hey, hey, hey! [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[HOOD OPENING.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
DRIVER: Hey Hey [TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[JACKALS CALL IN THE DISTANCE.]
[PANTING.]
[CROWS CAWING.]
[MAN CHUCKLES.]
MAN: [SPEAKING ARABIC IN THE DISTANCE.]
RAMY: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES.]
[PANTING.]
[ECHOING.]
You're looking a little sweaty.
What? [ECHOING.]
You wanna take a shower? [INDISTINCT SHOUT IN THE BACKGROUND.]
I I could really use a shower.
[ECHOING.]
We can take a shower together.
[SHOUTING INTENSIFIES.]
Who cares if I'm your cousin? Fuck.
I-I gotta shower by myself.
[WINDBLOWN LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[CHATTER IN ARABIC.]
JIDDO: Ramy? Habibi, habibi, habibi.
[KISSING.]
Habibi, Farouk.
[HEARTFELT MUSIC.]
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Jiddo.
Help! Help! [SHOUTING IN ARABIC.]
[PRAYERS IN ARABIC PLAYING OVER P.
A.
.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hello.
UNCLE: Hello.
Did you just pretend to kill yourself at Grandpa's funeral? God, it's so much, dude.
It's so depressing.
He wouldn't have wanted any of this.
Like, who are these people? How are you holding up? Um I I don't know.
I mean, it was really crazy to walk in on him like that.
Yeah.
No, I I get that.
[WOMAN WEEPING IN THE BACKGROUND.]
Do you wanna hang out later? Uh you wanna hang out with me? Yeah, dude, we're cousins and we haven't spent any time together.
And I don't want to hang out in the house.
I could change and we could go somewhere.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, cool.
- Cool.
- All right.
[PRAYERS IN ARABIC CONTINUE.]
[UNCLE SPEAKING ARABIC.]
RAMY: [LAUGHING.]
What are you talking about? AMANI: It's not It's not that weird.
How do you know what mummies smell like? Because I studied archeology.
You know this.
We used to go on digs and go to museums, and we used to pack them with these spices.
- Just trust me, they smell good.
- RAMY: Really? So you smell 'em, like, every weekend, or what? I want to, but, um yeah, to take it seriously, you kind of have to study abroad, and I met someone here, and then the revolution happened, so I didn't really feel like I could leave, so I mean, I could have left, but I felt a responsibility to stay.
I'm kind of working in my friend's gallery until I figure it out.
Tha that's really cool, though.
You still, uh, seein' anyone? No.
It's, uh, tricky to date here especially if you've been divorced.
You were married? Yeah.
To that guy.
For, like, a month.
- Grandpa hated him.
- [CHUCKLES.]
AMANI: Probably should have listened to him.
Yeah, guys here either want to marry a virgin or have sex on the first date.
- Wow.
- AMANI: Yeah.
- Just nothing in between.
- AMANI: Nope, not here.
How 'bout you? You know, I'm kinda trying to figure it out.
- AMANI: Yeah? - Like, everything in general, but also, you know who I want to be with, I guess.
I, uh I've dated women who think it's crazy that I believe in God.
Like God God, not yoga.
- [LAUGHS.]
- RAMY: You know, like - Mm-hm.
- RAMY: Like, and I try to tell them, I'm like, "Child's pose and prayer, are the same position, [STUTTERING.]
like, we're so close, we're almost doing the same thing.
" [LAUGHING.]
RAMY: Yeah, I've dated Muslim women, and I feel like the problem's really that I just don't know what kind of Muslim I am.
Like, there's Friday prayers, and then there's Friday night, and and and I'm, like, at both, you know, like, I wanna pray, I wanna go to the party, and I'm breaking some rules, I'm following others, and I thought coming here would give me some clarity and and help me figure it out, just being in this country, seeing Grandpa But I don't know, obviously that hasn't really worked.
There's somewhere I wanna take you.
It's really close.
You'll get it when we get there, just don't freak out.
Okay.
Yeah, let's go.
MAN: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
AMANI: Sit here.
[SINGING IN ARABIC.]
[ALL JOIN IN SINGING.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
- [SINGING CONTINUES.]
- [HAND DRUM PLAYING.]
[SINGING, DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
[MUSIC SPEEDS UP.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHATTER.]
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah.
This is a lot less touristy.
[ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- That is for you.
- This is insane.
[CHATTER.]
- [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- You're definitely liking this.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
That's a full-on dervish.
[CHATTER.]
- Wow.
- I know.
AMANI: [SPEAKING ARABIC.]
- Okay, come with me, gotta get on.
- Both of us? - Yes.
No, get on.
- On this? - Get on.
- RAMY: Okay, okay.
AMANI: [LAUGHS.]
All right, get your feet up.
- You good? - Yeah.
You're not gonna die.
- Probably.
- Okay.
[AMANI LAUGHS.]
RAMY: I can't stop thinking about that prayer.
AMANI: Some people think I'm insane for going there, but I tend to overthink things, and it That place is where I learned to just give in.
I I felt that.
And and it made me think, you know maybe that's why I came here.
To To give in.
AMANI: Um, Ramy I think we're both just feeling a lot of things because Grandpa just died.
Yeah, yeah.
I Yeah.
Sorry.
I was just trying to, like, give in, but I Yeah, we're cousins, so - We're cousins.
- RAMY: Yeah.
But, so what? I know.
I know it's weird, but you get me.
And And we have so much in common Because we're related.
Okay, look, if you're if you're not feeling it, it's okay.
Look, I haven't had this in a really long time.
But Well, then, if you feel it and I feel it, then why should we judge that feeling? AMANI: We're cousins.
[SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We're cousins.
We're cousins.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING.]