Rocko's Modern Life (1993) s01e10 Episode Script
Cabin Fever/Rinse and Spit
1
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( splat )
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
( horns honking )
OH, ED,
THIS MOUNTAIN CABIN
SOUNDS SO ROMANTIC.
JUST YOU AND ME, BEV.
JUST YOU AND ME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
JUST YOU AND ME, HEFF.
WOW!
AN ENTIRE WEEKEND
IN A MOUNTAIN CABIN.
HOT CHOCOLATE, POPCORN.
YEP, BEV.
COOL, CLEAN AIR
AND NO IDIOT NEIGHBORS.
HOT BUTTERED PANCAKES, MMM,
WAFFLES, SIZZLING SAUSAGE
BARBECUE, HAMBURGERS
WITH PICKLES,
ONIONS, LETTUCE.
HOT DOGS,
CORN ON THE COB.
WHAT THE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
IN MY CABIN?
WE RENTED I
FOR THE WEEKEND.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I RENTED THIS CABIN.
IT SAYS RIGHT HERE.
ONE WEEKEND, BIGHEADS, JULY 4.
BUT, MR. BIGHEAD,
IT'S JANUARY.
BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT
OH, ED.
IT'S OKAY.
HEFF AND I DON'T MIND
SHARING THE CABIN
WITH YOU FOR THE WEEKEND.
WE'LL ALL HAVE
A GOOD TIME.
COME ON, HEFF.
COME ON, ED.
BUT-BUT-BUT, BUT-BUT-BUT
( mimicking Rocko: )
IT'S OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD.
WE'LL SHARE IT WITH YOU.
( normal voice: )
\h\h\h\hMORONS.
ED, COME PLAY WITH ME.
IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OU
\h\h\h\hSOME WAY TO
( sinister laugh )
WHERE'S MR. BIGHEAD?
I THOUGHT HE WAS
GOING TO HELP.
HE'S MAKING
THE HEAD.
( grunting )
HEAD! I'LL GIVE THEM A HEAD.
( laughing )
( splat )
THANKS, MR. BIGHEAD.
( growling )
ED, COME ON IN, DARLING,
\h\h\h\hTHE WATER'S FINE.
ONE MINUTE,
MY LITTLE POLLIWOG.
( growling )
( both giggling )
( Rocko and Heffer laughing )
( growling )
( body thuds )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
\h\h\h\hBUT I LIKE IT.
IS IT A, A UM
OH, I GOT IT.
\h\h\h\hRocko:
NO, IT'S A BIRD.
THAT'S GREAT,
MRS. BIGHEAD.
OH, OH,
I GOT ONE!
HERE'S MR. BIGHEAD
AND HERE'S THE BEAR.
( mock growling )
GOBBLE, GOBBLE.
( mock screaming )
( laughing )
( group laughing )
OH, ED, OH, DARLING,
THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.
COME ON OVER AND SHOW
WHAT YOU CAN DO.
\h\h\h\hRocko and Heffer:
YEAH, MR. BIGHEAD, COME ON.
COME ON, HONEY.
WELL, OKAY.
OKAY, LET'S SEE HERE.
\h\h\h\hHeffer:
A TUBE OF SOME KIND?
\h\h\h\hRocko:
SHOES, SHOES!
Mrs. Bighead:
CABBAGE, CABBAGE.
IT'S A HOUSE PLANT.
Rocko:
UH, GARBAGE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
UM, UM, I KNOW THIS ONE.
IT'S A WAFFLE IRON.
YOU CAN ALSO USE I
TO MAKE PANCAKES ON.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
OH, BOY, OH, GEE, I GIVE UP.
NO, WAIT, I DON'T GIVE UP.
A RADIATOR!
EITHER A HOSE OR A RADIATOR.
OR A PIECE OF RADIATOR HOSE.
I WIN!
( incoherent muttering )
COME ON, BEV, GET YOUR THINGS.
OH, ED!
GIVE IT A REST,
YOU'RE SO TEMPERAMENTAL.
HOW CAN I REST?
HOW CAN I RES
WHEN I HAVE TO SPEND MY WEEKEND
WITH THOSE TWO PINHEADS?!
( echoing: )
PINHEADS?!
( rumbling )
\h\h\h\hMr. Bighead:
HELLO, HELLO! HELLO?
I THINK THE PHONES ARE DEAD.
WE'RE TRAPPED!
We interrupt to bring this
O-Town Action News
Special Report!
WHAT'S THAT?
I'm standing near
the avalanche site
where it is believed two toads,
a steer, and a wallaby
THAT'S US!
are trapped
beneath the slide.
A search party is combing
\h\hthe area for signs of
\h\h\h\htheir whereabouts.
WE'RE HERE! WE'RE HERE!
( machine beeping )
It doesn't look good, folks.
They'll probably starve.
\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
And now, let's cook
with Chef Master.
CALM DOWN, EDWARD.
NO NEED TO PANIC.
WE SHOULD JUST RELAX
AND WAIT FOR THEM
TO RESCUE US.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
SEVEN CARD STUD.
JACKS OR BETTER
TO OPEN
DEUCES ARE WILD.
MINIMUM BET,
FIVE SKINS.
ED! COME ON, EDDIE.
COME PLAY SOME POKER.
( muttering under his breath )
( static )
READ 'EM AND WEEP, BOYS.
HELLO? HELLO?
ANYBODY READ? HELLO?
( static )
MAYDAY, MAYDAY!
ED BIGHEAD HERE.
\h\hDO YOU READ?
( static )
Can I help you, sir?
YES, YES.
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
THIS IS ED BIGHEAD.
I'M TRAPPED IN A CABIN
IN THE MOUNTAINS
WITH MY WIFE AND TWO GUYS.
DO YOU READ?
Uh, right, okay!
You want a large burger
\h\h\h\hand two fries.
NO! NO!
TRAPPED, THE BIGHEADS, TWO GUYS!
Oh, okay, a big burger
and two large fries!
I got it.
That'll be $5.99
at the next window.
Thank you.
YOU SIT AROUND AND PLAY GAMES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'M GOING TO
GET OUT OF THIS PLACE
IF IT MEANS DIGGING OU
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
ED IS A BIG BOY.
HE CAN TAKE CARE
OF HIMSELF.
ANTE UP, FELLAS.
AND THERE, NEX
TO THE MANGLED CORPSE
OF THE UNFORTUNATE CAMPER
WERE THE
BLOODY FOOTPRINTS OF
THE ABDOMINAL SNOW MONKEY!
DA-DA-DA!
( nervous gulp )
TH-TH-THEN
WHAT HAPPENED?
I MUSTN'T TELL THE REST.
IT'S FAR TOO SCARY!
Both:
TELL US! TELL US! TELL US!
OH, PLEASE TELL US.
WELL,
TEN YEARS LATER
IN THIS
VERY SAME VALLEY
THERE WAS
A HORRIBLE BLIZZARD.
UM, THREE CAMPERS WERE TRAPPED
IN A CABIN JUST LIKE THIS ONE.
OUTSIDE,
IN THE DEAD OF NIGH
A DARK SHADOW CREPT OVER
THE SNOW FIELDS
TOWARDS THE LITTLE CABIN.
IT CAME CLOSE, AND CLOSER,
AND CLOSER AND CLOSER AND
( screams )
WHAT WAS THAT?
( metal scraping )
THERE'S SOMETHING
BEHIND THE DOOR!
THE ABDOMINAL SNOW MONKEY!
\h\h\h\hHeffer:
GET HIM! GET HIM!
Mrs. Bighead:
HIT HIM HARDER!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
HE'S STARTING TO GET UP!
GEE, HE DOESN'T LOOK TOO GOOD.
OH, ED, SPEAK TO ME.
MR. BIGHEAD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
( voices distorted: )
ARE YOU OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD?
( evil laughter )
( laughter echoing )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAll:
NA, NA, NA, NA, NA,
NA, MR. BIGHEAD.
NA, NA, NA, NA, NA!
NA, MR. BIGHEAD.
NO!
ARE YOU OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD?
MR. BIGHEAD?
MR. BIGHEAD?
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH.
OH, IT'S GETTING LATE!
TERRIBLY LATE!
I MUST BE GOING NOW!
GOING, GOING, GONE!
( crash )
YUP, I'M OUTTA HERE.
OH, IT'S ALL CLEAR TO ME NOW.
I GET IT.
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE FOREVER.
YES, SIREE!
ED BIGHEAD SEES THROUGH
YOUR LITTLE SCHEME.
( deranged laughter )
( crash )
ED!
I DON'T THINK THIS IS
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
( giggling and muttering )
THEY CAN'T KEEP ME HERE.
FREE!
FREE FROM YOUR CLUTCHES AT LAST!
( deranged laughter )
I'M FREE!
( deranged laughter )
EASY NOW, EASY!
KEEP IT SLOW,
COME ON, IT'S A BIG ONE.
SLOWLY, SLOWLY!
( cheering and applause )
Here we are
with avalanche survivor
Beverly Bighead.
Hello, Audrey, Nancy,
Marge, Evelyn
Uh, yeah.
So, Mrs. Bighead,
what happened
to the fourth member
of your party?
IT'S A MOVIE!
OH, I KNOW.
LORD OF THE FLIES.
HAROLD AND THE PURPLE CRAYON.
NO, THIS IS TOO HARD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFilburt:
I SEE YOU THERE, HEFFER.
( loud whimpering )
( breathing hard )
NO!
HEFFER, STAY RIGHT THERE.
NO, STAY BACK.
( mock growling )
( laughing )
RING, RING.
HELLO?
( laughing )
\h\h\h\h( imitating Heffer: )
ROCKO, YOU GOT ANY LEFTOVERS?
( laughing )
( doorbell rings )
ROCKO!
YOU GOT TO HIDE ME!
IT'S, IT'S
( screaming )
SORRY, HEFF.
HELLO
IN THERE.
OH, HELLO,
FILBURT.
COME ON IN.
HELLO, ROCKO.
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED
IN BEING MY PATIEN
FOR MY FINAL DENTAL EXAM?
YOU'LL GE
A FREE TOOTHBRUSH.
ROCKO, DON'T DO IT.
YOU KNOW, FILBUR
I WOULD, BUT I'VE GO
PERFECT TEETH, ACTUALLY.
SEE?
OH, ROCKO, PLEASE.
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.
IF I DON'T PASS THIS EXAM,
MY FATHER WILL BE DEVASTATED.
IT'S HIS LIFELONG DREAM
THAT I BECOME A DENTIST.
BUT, FIL, I JUST DON'
NEED ANY DENTAL WORK.
OKAY, ROCKO.
I'M SORRY TO HAVE
TO BRING THIS UP.
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT TIME
I SAVED YOUR LIFE?
UH YES.
THE PLAYGROUND,
REMEMBER?
( whining )
THAT'S A SWEET PUPPY
YOU GO
THERE, ROO.
LOOK AWFULLY CUTE
IN OUR COLLECTION.
( evil laughter )
HEY, FELLAS, CAN I PLAY?
STAY OUT OF THIS,
TURTLE.
THIS AIN'
YOUR FIGHT.
FIGHT?
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.
A WILD PIG.
I'M A WILD PIG!
WE'LL WAIT HERE UNTIL
MY MOM PICKS US UP.
THANKS, PAL,
I OWE YOU ONE.
YOU'RE RIGHT, FILBURT.
I DO OWE YOU ONE.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
THANKS, ROCKO.
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE
ACADEMY-O-DENTISTRY
AT 8:00 P.M.
THIS ISN'
GOING TO HURT
IS IT FILBURT?
IS HE GONE?
GEESH, SOMETIMES THAT GUY
GIVES ME THE CREEPS.
\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
And a job well done,
\h\h\h\hstudent 146.
ALL RIGHT, FILBURT,
YOU'RE UP.
I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M TOO NERVOUS.
I'M BREAKING OUT IN HIVES.
LOOK!
COME ON, BUDDY,
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
Next up, student 149-- Filburt.
LET'S GET IN THERE
AND MAKE YOU A DENTIST.
OKAY, I JUST HOPE
I DON'T SCREW UP YOUR TEETH
\h\h\h\hOR SOMETHING.
( scattered applause )
UH, HELLO?
IS THIS THING ON?
( feedback )
TODAY I AM
GOING TO PERFORM
FOR MY FINAL EXAM
A COMPLETE DENTIST THING
ON MY PATIENT.
GUINEA PIG
IS MORE LIKE IT.
( loud screeching )
HELLO, STUDENTS.
HOPE EVERYONE STUDIED.
NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL RARING
TO GO FOR THAT BRASS RING TODAY.
SO, LET'S GO FOR THE GOLD!
NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHO FORGO
MY NAME IS
( screeching )
DR. HUTCHISON.
'KAY?
ISN'T SHE CUTE?
FILBURT, ARE WE READY?
YES, MA'AM.
I WILL BEGIN
BY SEATING THE PATIEN
AND SEEING TO HIS COMFORT.
COMFORTABLE?
UH, ACTUALLY
THE PATIEN
IS COMFORTABLE.
( applause )
MM-HMM.
I AM NOW INSPECTING
THE PATIENT'S FEET.
TEETH.
WHAT?
OH, TEETH!
I AM INSPECTING
THE PATIENT'S TEETH.
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
( metallic scraping )
OH, BOY.
I HAVE DISCOVERED
A LARGE TOOTH
WITH A SMALL HOLE IN IT.
EXCELLENT!
YOU'VE FOUND A FINE SPECIMEN
OF A CAVITY.
PROCEED.
OH, BOY.
WILL THE PATIEN
PLEASE RINSE OU
ALL THE STUFF
I SCRAPED OFF HIS TEETH
AND SPIT I
IN THE SINK.
THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THAT.
( crash )
I WILL NOW PERFORM
AN X-RAY.
PROCEED.
( machine pulsing )
I AM NOW ATTACHING
THE ELECTRODES
TO THE OFFENDING TOOTH.
ELECTRODES?
HMM.
( nervous laugh )
( screaming )
I AM NOW CHECKING
ON THE PATIENT.
HOW ARE YOU, PATIENT?
MY TOOTH FEELS
KIND OF FUNNY.
TAKE IT EASY,
JERRY
LET'S TALK
ABOUT IT.
( straining )
( loud growling )
WILL THE PATIEN
PLEASE GET HIS TOOTH
UNDER CONTROL.
NOW, SEE HERE, TOOTH.
YOU, YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF.
I DON'T WAN
TO HAVE TO GET
TOUGH WITH YOU.
( growling )
( crowd screaming )
OH, WELL.
WANT TO GET A SODA?
OH, WELL,
NOTHING, MISTER.
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF AN EXAM HERE.
WE ARE A
THE GIANT MUTANT TOOTH PAR
OF YOUR TEST.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHALL WE PROCEED?
ALL RIGHT.
I AM NOW PROCEEDING
TO PURSUE AND RESTRAIN
THE OFFENDING MOLAR.
VERY GOOD. PROCEED.
( crowd screaming )
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
TO DEFEAT THIS THING.
OKAY
TOOTH FAIRY OUTFIT.
GREAT.
( growling )
LET'S SEE, I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEHOLD MY POWER.
NO, NO.
I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY,
I COMMAND YOU
NO.
OH, BOY.
I AM NOW TAKING
THE SERVICE ELEVATOR
TO THE TOP OF THE BUILDING.
MM-HMM.
( roaring )
HEY, YOU
GET YOUR DARN HANDS
OFF OF HIM.
I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY.
YOU WILL OBEY ME.
( tooth roaring )
OH, SUPER!
( tooth humming )
MY HOOK!
FILBURT, DO SOMETHING!
\h\h\h\hRocko:
THE CAVITY, FILBURT.
GO FOR THE CAVITY!
HE CAN'T THROW,
YOU KNOW.
WE'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD.
( tooth groaning )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWOW!
WOW!
( groaning in pain )
WELL, THE HOOK
KILLED HIM.
NO, IT WASN'
THE HOOK.
'TWAS TARTAR
KILLED THE BEAST.
( rumbling )
( clinking )
( rattling )
FOR VALOR IN THE FACE
OF ADVERSITY
WHILE WEARING WHITE LINEN
AND WORKING I
I GIVE YOU
THE MEDAL OF VALOR.
CONGRATULATIONS,
FILBURT.
( applause )
DOES THIS MEAN I GET MY DIPLOMA?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
DENTAL CARE
IS NOT YOUR BAG.
SAVING CITIES, SURE.
BUT STAY AWAY FROM
OTHER PEOPLE'S MOUTHS.
NOW, HOW ABOUT THAT SODA,
TURTLE DOVE?
I'LL CALL YOU.
RIGHT NOW I NEED
SOME TIME TO MYSELF.
SORRY ABOUT YOUR EXAM,
FILBURT.
WE TRIED.
THAT'S OKAY, ROCKO.
I NEVER REALLY WANTED
TO BE A DENTIST ANYWAY.
( teeth cheering )
I ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A CHIMNEY SWEEP.
LEAPING FROM ROOF TO ROOF
OF THE O-TOWN HIGH RISES
\h\h\h\hWITH A LUMP IN MY THROA
AND A LOAD OF SOOT IN MY PANTS.
\h\h\h\hI'D JUMP DOWN YOUR FLUE
AND SPANK IT CLEAN WITH MY BRUSH
TILL I CAN'T SPANK IT NO MORE.
( teeth humming )
AND I'D SING, SING, SING
OH ♪
FILBURT, LET'S GO
GET A SODA.
NO SONG?
NO SONG.
OH, FISH STICKS.
\h\h\h\hHEY, KIDS.
MY NAME IS GORDON.
LET'S TALK ABOU
GOOD ORAL HYGIENE.
Audience member:
YES!
ROCKO SAW
A PROFESSIONAL DENTIS
AND NOW HIS TEETH
ARE IN PERFECT CONDITION.
YOU BET THEY ARE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPSST, HEY!
BRUSH YOUR TEETH
AFTER EVERY MEAL.
DON'T CHEW ON TINFOIL,
AND YOUR TEETH
WILL SHINE LIKE ROCKO'S.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYES!
( horn honks )
OOP, THAT'S MY RIDE, KIDS.
SEE YOU LATER, NITZ.
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( splat )
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
( horns honking )
OH, ED,
THIS MOUNTAIN CABIN
SOUNDS SO ROMANTIC.
JUST YOU AND ME, BEV.
JUST YOU AND ME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
JUST YOU AND ME, HEFF.
WOW!
AN ENTIRE WEEKEND
IN A MOUNTAIN CABIN.
HOT CHOCOLATE, POPCORN.
YEP, BEV.
COOL, CLEAN AIR
AND NO IDIOT NEIGHBORS.
HOT BUTTERED PANCAKES, MMM,
WAFFLES, SIZZLING SAUSAGE
BARBECUE, HAMBURGERS
WITH PICKLES,
ONIONS, LETTUCE.
HOT DOGS,
CORN ON THE COB.
WHAT THE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
IN MY CABIN?
WE RENTED I
FOR THE WEEKEND.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I RENTED THIS CABIN.
IT SAYS RIGHT HERE.
ONE WEEKEND, BIGHEADS, JULY 4.
BUT, MR. BIGHEAD,
IT'S JANUARY.
BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT
OH, ED.
IT'S OKAY.
HEFF AND I DON'T MIND
SHARING THE CABIN
WITH YOU FOR THE WEEKEND.
WE'LL ALL HAVE
A GOOD TIME.
COME ON, HEFF.
COME ON, ED.
BUT-BUT-BUT, BUT-BUT-BUT
( mimicking Rocko: )
IT'S OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD.
WE'LL SHARE IT WITH YOU.
( normal voice: )
\h\h\h\hMORONS.
ED, COME PLAY WITH ME.
IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OU
\h\h\h\hSOME WAY TO
( sinister laugh )
WHERE'S MR. BIGHEAD?
I THOUGHT HE WAS
GOING TO HELP.
HE'S MAKING
THE HEAD.
( grunting )
HEAD! I'LL GIVE THEM A HEAD.
( laughing )
( splat )
THANKS, MR. BIGHEAD.
( growling )
ED, COME ON IN, DARLING,
\h\h\h\hTHE WATER'S FINE.
ONE MINUTE,
MY LITTLE POLLIWOG.
( growling )
( both giggling )
( Rocko and Heffer laughing )
( growling )
( body thuds )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
\h\h\h\hBUT I LIKE IT.
IS IT A, A UM
OH, I GOT IT.
\h\h\h\hRocko:
NO, IT'S A BIRD.
THAT'S GREAT,
MRS. BIGHEAD.
OH, OH,
I GOT ONE!
HERE'S MR. BIGHEAD
AND HERE'S THE BEAR.
( mock growling )
GOBBLE, GOBBLE.
( mock screaming )
( laughing )
( group laughing )
OH, ED, OH, DARLING,
THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.
COME ON OVER AND SHOW
WHAT YOU CAN DO.
\h\h\h\hRocko and Heffer:
YEAH, MR. BIGHEAD, COME ON.
COME ON, HONEY.
WELL, OKAY.
OKAY, LET'S SEE HERE.
\h\h\h\hHeffer:
A TUBE OF SOME KIND?
\h\h\h\hRocko:
SHOES, SHOES!
Mrs. Bighead:
CABBAGE, CABBAGE.
IT'S A HOUSE PLANT.
Rocko:
UH, GARBAGE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
UM, UM, I KNOW THIS ONE.
IT'S A WAFFLE IRON.
YOU CAN ALSO USE I
TO MAKE PANCAKES ON.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHeffer:
OH, BOY, OH, GEE, I GIVE UP.
NO, WAIT, I DON'T GIVE UP.
A RADIATOR!
EITHER A HOSE OR A RADIATOR.
OR A PIECE OF RADIATOR HOSE.
I WIN!
( incoherent muttering )
COME ON, BEV, GET YOUR THINGS.
OH, ED!
GIVE IT A REST,
YOU'RE SO TEMPERAMENTAL.
HOW CAN I REST?
HOW CAN I RES
WHEN I HAVE TO SPEND MY WEEKEND
WITH THOSE TWO PINHEADS?!
( echoing: )
PINHEADS?!
( rumbling )
\h\h\h\hMr. Bighead:
HELLO, HELLO! HELLO?
I THINK THE PHONES ARE DEAD.
WE'RE TRAPPED!
We interrupt to bring this
O-Town Action News
Special Report!
WHAT'S THAT?
I'm standing near
the avalanche site
where it is believed two toads,
a steer, and a wallaby
THAT'S US!
are trapped
beneath the slide.
A search party is combing
\h\hthe area for signs of
\h\h\h\htheir whereabouts.
WE'RE HERE! WE'RE HERE!
( machine beeping )
It doesn't look good, folks.
They'll probably starve.
\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
And now, let's cook
with Chef Master.
CALM DOWN, EDWARD.
NO NEED TO PANIC.
WE SHOULD JUST RELAX
AND WAIT FOR THEM
TO RESCUE US.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
SEVEN CARD STUD.
JACKS OR BETTER
TO OPEN
DEUCES ARE WILD.
MINIMUM BET,
FIVE SKINS.
ED! COME ON, EDDIE.
COME PLAY SOME POKER.
( muttering under his breath )
( static )
READ 'EM AND WEEP, BOYS.
HELLO? HELLO?
ANYBODY READ? HELLO?
( static )
MAYDAY, MAYDAY!
ED BIGHEAD HERE.
\h\hDO YOU READ?
( static )
Can I help you, sir?
YES, YES.
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
THIS IS ED BIGHEAD.
I'M TRAPPED IN A CABIN
IN THE MOUNTAINS
WITH MY WIFE AND TWO GUYS.
DO YOU READ?
Uh, right, okay!
You want a large burger
\h\h\h\hand two fries.
NO! NO!
TRAPPED, THE BIGHEADS, TWO GUYS!
Oh, okay, a big burger
and two large fries!
I got it.
That'll be $5.99
at the next window.
Thank you.
YOU SIT AROUND AND PLAY GAMES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'M GOING TO
GET OUT OF THIS PLACE
IF IT MEANS DIGGING OU
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
ED IS A BIG BOY.
HE CAN TAKE CARE
OF HIMSELF.
ANTE UP, FELLAS.
AND THERE, NEX
TO THE MANGLED CORPSE
OF THE UNFORTUNATE CAMPER
WERE THE
BLOODY FOOTPRINTS OF
THE ABDOMINAL SNOW MONKEY!
DA-DA-DA!
( nervous gulp )
TH-TH-THEN
WHAT HAPPENED?
I MUSTN'T TELL THE REST.
IT'S FAR TOO SCARY!
Both:
TELL US! TELL US! TELL US!
OH, PLEASE TELL US.
WELL,
TEN YEARS LATER
IN THIS
VERY SAME VALLEY
THERE WAS
A HORRIBLE BLIZZARD.
UM, THREE CAMPERS WERE TRAPPED
IN A CABIN JUST LIKE THIS ONE.
OUTSIDE,
IN THE DEAD OF NIGH
A DARK SHADOW CREPT OVER
THE SNOW FIELDS
TOWARDS THE LITTLE CABIN.
IT CAME CLOSE, AND CLOSER,
AND CLOSER AND CLOSER AND
( screams )
WHAT WAS THAT?
( metal scraping )
THERE'S SOMETHING
BEHIND THE DOOR!
THE ABDOMINAL SNOW MONKEY!
\h\h\h\hHeffer:
GET HIM! GET HIM!
Mrs. Bighead:
HIT HIM HARDER!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
HE'S STARTING TO GET UP!
GEE, HE DOESN'T LOOK TOO GOOD.
OH, ED, SPEAK TO ME.
MR. BIGHEAD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
( voices distorted: )
ARE YOU OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD?
( evil laughter )
( laughter echoing )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAll:
NA, NA, NA, NA, NA,
NA, MR. BIGHEAD.
NA, NA, NA, NA, NA!
NA, MR. BIGHEAD.
NO!
ARE YOU OKAY, MR. BIGHEAD?
MR. BIGHEAD?
MR. BIGHEAD?
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH.
OH, IT'S GETTING LATE!
TERRIBLY LATE!
I MUST BE GOING NOW!
GOING, GOING, GONE!
( crash )
YUP, I'M OUTTA HERE.
OH, IT'S ALL CLEAR TO ME NOW.
I GET IT.
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE FOREVER.
YES, SIREE!
ED BIGHEAD SEES THROUGH
YOUR LITTLE SCHEME.
( deranged laughter )
( crash )
ED!
I DON'T THINK THIS IS
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
( giggling and muttering )
THEY CAN'T KEEP ME HERE.
FREE!
FREE FROM YOUR CLUTCHES AT LAST!
( deranged laughter )
I'M FREE!
( deranged laughter )
EASY NOW, EASY!
KEEP IT SLOW,
COME ON, IT'S A BIG ONE.
SLOWLY, SLOWLY!
( cheering and applause )
Here we are
with avalanche survivor
Beverly Bighead.
Hello, Audrey, Nancy,
Marge, Evelyn
Uh, yeah.
So, Mrs. Bighead,
what happened
to the fourth member
of your party?
IT'S A MOVIE!
OH, I KNOW.
LORD OF THE FLIES.
HAROLD AND THE PURPLE CRAYON.
NO, THIS IS TOO HARD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFilburt:
I SEE YOU THERE, HEFFER.
( loud whimpering )
( breathing hard )
NO!
HEFFER, STAY RIGHT THERE.
NO, STAY BACK.
( mock growling )
( laughing )
RING, RING.
HELLO?
( laughing )
\h\h\h\h( imitating Heffer: )
ROCKO, YOU GOT ANY LEFTOVERS?
( laughing )
( doorbell rings )
ROCKO!
YOU GOT TO HIDE ME!
IT'S, IT'S
( screaming )
SORRY, HEFF.
HELLO
IN THERE.
OH, HELLO,
FILBURT.
COME ON IN.
HELLO, ROCKO.
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED
IN BEING MY PATIEN
FOR MY FINAL DENTAL EXAM?
YOU'LL GE
A FREE TOOTHBRUSH.
ROCKO, DON'T DO IT.
YOU KNOW, FILBUR
I WOULD, BUT I'VE GO
PERFECT TEETH, ACTUALLY.
SEE?
OH, ROCKO, PLEASE.
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.
IF I DON'T PASS THIS EXAM,
MY FATHER WILL BE DEVASTATED.
IT'S HIS LIFELONG DREAM
THAT I BECOME A DENTIST.
BUT, FIL, I JUST DON'
NEED ANY DENTAL WORK.
OKAY, ROCKO.
I'M SORRY TO HAVE
TO BRING THIS UP.
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT TIME
I SAVED YOUR LIFE?
UH YES.
THE PLAYGROUND,
REMEMBER?
( whining )
THAT'S A SWEET PUPPY
YOU GO
THERE, ROO.
LOOK AWFULLY CUTE
IN OUR COLLECTION.
( evil laughter )
HEY, FELLAS, CAN I PLAY?
STAY OUT OF THIS,
TURTLE.
THIS AIN'
YOUR FIGHT.
FIGHT?
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.
A WILD PIG.
I'M A WILD PIG!
WE'LL WAIT HERE UNTIL
MY MOM PICKS US UP.
THANKS, PAL,
I OWE YOU ONE.
YOU'RE RIGHT, FILBURT.
I DO OWE YOU ONE.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
THANKS, ROCKO.
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE
ACADEMY-O-DENTISTRY
AT 8:00 P.M.
THIS ISN'
GOING TO HURT
IS IT FILBURT?
IS HE GONE?
GEESH, SOMETIMES THAT GUY
GIVES ME THE CREEPS.
\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
And a job well done,
\h\h\h\hstudent 146.
ALL RIGHT, FILBURT,
YOU'RE UP.
I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M TOO NERVOUS.
I'M BREAKING OUT IN HIVES.
LOOK!
COME ON, BUDDY,
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
Next up, student 149-- Filburt.
LET'S GET IN THERE
AND MAKE YOU A DENTIST.
OKAY, I JUST HOPE
I DON'T SCREW UP YOUR TEETH
\h\h\h\hOR SOMETHING.
( scattered applause )
UH, HELLO?
IS THIS THING ON?
( feedback )
TODAY I AM
GOING TO PERFORM
FOR MY FINAL EXAM
A COMPLETE DENTIST THING
ON MY PATIENT.
GUINEA PIG
IS MORE LIKE IT.
( loud screeching )
HELLO, STUDENTS.
HOPE EVERYONE STUDIED.
NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL RARING
TO GO FOR THAT BRASS RING TODAY.
SO, LET'S GO FOR THE GOLD!
NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHO FORGO
MY NAME IS
( screeching )
DR. HUTCHISON.
'KAY?
ISN'T SHE CUTE?
FILBURT, ARE WE READY?
YES, MA'AM.
I WILL BEGIN
BY SEATING THE PATIEN
AND SEEING TO HIS COMFORT.
COMFORTABLE?
UH, ACTUALLY
THE PATIEN
IS COMFORTABLE.
( applause )
MM-HMM.
I AM NOW INSPECTING
THE PATIENT'S FEET.
TEETH.
WHAT?
OH, TEETH!
I AM INSPECTING
THE PATIENT'S TEETH.
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
( metallic scraping )
OH, BOY.
I HAVE DISCOVERED
A LARGE TOOTH
WITH A SMALL HOLE IN IT.
EXCELLENT!
YOU'VE FOUND A FINE SPECIMEN
OF A CAVITY.
PROCEED.
OH, BOY.
WILL THE PATIEN
PLEASE RINSE OU
ALL THE STUFF
I SCRAPED OFF HIS TEETH
AND SPIT I
IN THE SINK.
THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THAT.
( crash )
I WILL NOW PERFORM
AN X-RAY.
PROCEED.
( machine pulsing )
I AM NOW ATTACHING
THE ELECTRODES
TO THE OFFENDING TOOTH.
ELECTRODES?
HMM.
( nervous laugh )
( screaming )
I AM NOW CHECKING
ON THE PATIENT.
HOW ARE YOU, PATIENT?
MY TOOTH FEELS
KIND OF FUNNY.
TAKE IT EASY,
JERRY
LET'S TALK
ABOUT IT.
( straining )
( loud growling )
WILL THE PATIEN
PLEASE GET HIS TOOTH
UNDER CONTROL.
NOW, SEE HERE, TOOTH.
YOU, YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF.
I DON'T WAN
TO HAVE TO GET
TOUGH WITH YOU.
( growling )
( crowd screaming )
OH, WELL.
WANT TO GET A SODA?
OH, WELL,
NOTHING, MISTER.
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF AN EXAM HERE.
WE ARE A
THE GIANT MUTANT TOOTH PAR
OF YOUR TEST.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHALL WE PROCEED?
ALL RIGHT.
I AM NOW PROCEEDING
TO PURSUE AND RESTRAIN
THE OFFENDING MOLAR.
VERY GOOD. PROCEED.
( crowd screaming )
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
TO DEFEAT THIS THING.
OKAY
TOOTH FAIRY OUTFIT.
GREAT.
( growling )
LET'S SEE, I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEHOLD MY POWER.
NO, NO.
I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY,
I COMMAND YOU
NO.
OH, BOY.
I AM NOW TAKING
THE SERVICE ELEVATOR
TO THE TOP OF THE BUILDING.
MM-HMM.
( roaring )
HEY, YOU
GET YOUR DARN HANDS
OFF OF HIM.
I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY.
YOU WILL OBEY ME.
( tooth roaring )
OH, SUPER!
( tooth humming )
MY HOOK!
FILBURT, DO SOMETHING!
\h\h\h\hRocko:
THE CAVITY, FILBURT.
GO FOR THE CAVITY!
HE CAN'T THROW,
YOU KNOW.
WE'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD.
( tooth groaning )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWOW!
WOW!
( groaning in pain )
WELL, THE HOOK
KILLED HIM.
NO, IT WASN'
THE HOOK.
'TWAS TARTAR
KILLED THE BEAST.
( rumbling )
( clinking )
( rattling )
FOR VALOR IN THE FACE
OF ADVERSITY
WHILE WEARING WHITE LINEN
AND WORKING I
I GIVE YOU
THE MEDAL OF VALOR.
CONGRATULATIONS,
FILBURT.
( applause )
DOES THIS MEAN I GET MY DIPLOMA?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
DENTAL CARE
IS NOT YOUR BAG.
SAVING CITIES, SURE.
BUT STAY AWAY FROM
OTHER PEOPLE'S MOUTHS.
NOW, HOW ABOUT THAT SODA,
TURTLE DOVE?
I'LL CALL YOU.
RIGHT NOW I NEED
SOME TIME TO MYSELF.
SORRY ABOUT YOUR EXAM,
FILBURT.
WE TRIED.
THAT'S OKAY, ROCKO.
I NEVER REALLY WANTED
TO BE A DENTIST ANYWAY.
( teeth cheering )
I ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A CHIMNEY SWEEP.
LEAPING FROM ROOF TO ROOF
OF THE O-TOWN HIGH RISES
\h\h\h\hWITH A LUMP IN MY THROA
AND A LOAD OF SOOT IN MY PANTS.
\h\h\h\hI'D JUMP DOWN YOUR FLUE
AND SPANK IT CLEAN WITH MY BRUSH
TILL I CAN'T SPANK IT NO MORE.
( teeth humming )
AND I'D SING, SING, SING
OH ♪
FILBURT, LET'S GO
GET A SODA.
NO SONG?
NO SONG.
OH, FISH STICKS.
\h\h\h\hHEY, KIDS.
MY NAME IS GORDON.
LET'S TALK ABOU
GOOD ORAL HYGIENE.
Audience member:
YES!
ROCKO SAW
A PROFESSIONAL DENTIS
AND NOW HIS TEETH
ARE IN PERFECT CONDITION.
YOU BET THEY ARE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPSST, HEY!
BRUSH YOUR TEETH
AFTER EVERY MEAL.
DON'T CHEW ON TINFOIL,
AND YOUR TEETH
WILL SHINE LIKE ROCKO'S.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYES!
( horn honks )
OOP, THAT'S MY RIDE, KIDS.
SEE YOU LATER, NITZ.