Stuck in the Middle (2016) s01e10 Episode Script
Stuck with My Sister's Boyfriend
1 Busy day at the slushy stand? This town's gone slushy crazy.
We ran out of all of our usual flavors at work today, so I had to invent one.
Okay, so we're out of Sweet Carol-lime, Cherry Underwood, we're even out of Kale-or Swift.
But don't worry.
I have a new delicious flavor.
Slushy Classic.
- It's just crushed ice and tap water.
- Mmm.
Sold seven of them.
Those hipsters will buy anything.
All I wanna do is plop down on the couch, watch TV, and stuff my face with leftover wings from Wingapore Palace.
Here, birdy, birdy, birdy.
They're gone? Are you kidding me? I even hid them behind the yams that have been there since Easter.
You hid leftovers in the fridge? In this house? You gotta hide them on your person.
- Egg roll? - Pass.
Ever since school got out, Rachel's boyfriend Cuff has been at the house nonstop.
In a family of nine, the last thing you need is ten.
It's like when your sibling is dating someone, the whole family's dating them, too.
Rachel, this is supposed to be my TV time.
I let you watch last night so I could watch now.
But what have you done for Cuff? He likes to watch Man Vs.
Dumpster.
It's how he unwinds.
From what? He doesn't have a job.
Texas Barbecue Edition.
CUFF: Sweet.
I've seen this one.
Spoiler alert: Dumpster Jack finds a week-old brisket in a mannequin head.
Did you just toss a chicken bone into my invention bag? Uh, sorry.
There was a bunch of junk in there.
I thought it was a garbage bag.
Hey.
Guys, my TV time.
So let's play the quiet game while Harley watches Dance Dads.
Dance Dads record request cancelled? What?! Stop shouting, Harley.
We are trying to relax.
I thought we were playing the quiet game.
You cancelled Dance Dads for a show about a guy who digs through garbage?! Digs through and eats.
Gotta give Dumpster Jack full props.
Cuff is our guest.
Don't be rude.
What's rude is forcing me to watch a show no one wants to see.
Hey, Man Vs.
Dumpster! That's exactly what we wanna watch right now.
That guy is like a virus.
The whole family's come down with whooping Cuff.
Rachel's here more, he winds up Lewie and Beast.
You're saying that like it's a bad thing.
With Cuff around, they don't bug me.
I get to spend more quality time with Greta.
I'm going to channel this negativity into something useful.
Maybe finish my solar-heated birdbath.
Wow, that slushy syrup is sticky.
Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff.
I guess Man Vs.
Dumpster's over.
But Harley vs.
Cuff has just begun.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you Yep, my snack went from delicious wings to the canned chickpeas.
This is what's available when you're hiding in a pantry.
First up, the unthinkable.
Marshmallows dipped in mayonnaise.
I heard even goats can't keep that down.
What should we call it? Mayonallow or marshonnaise? Let's call it both, and do it twice! Get 'em while they're gross! Yeah! Yesterday it was forehead karate.
Today, it's the iron gut challenge.
Tomorrow, I hear it's roadkill autopsy.
They have no respect for people who bust their humps working for a living.
I mean, if Cuff had any idea what it's like to have a job That's it.
The cure for the common Cuff.
If that dummy had a job, he wouldn't be stapled to our couch.
- (muffled) - That means, Cuff, you're like the cool big brother we never had.
- (laughs) - You're the best.
All I'm saying is, it's nice to have - a little change in your pocket.
- Why? See? Free.
Could use more sugar which I'll add.
Also free.
But what about Rachel? You can't keep a girl like her sitting around watching a guy in a dumpster.
I mean, Kanye just rented Kim an island in the Caribbean.
You can rent an island? No, you can't.
But maybe if you had a job you could afford the magazine I saw the picture of the island in.
Eh.
I'm not really a jobby kind of guy.
I take after my dad that way.
Okay.
I just don't want Rachel getting bored of you.
That's why she dumped her last five boyfriends.
Whoa.
I never heard her talk about any old boyfriends.
Yeah, once they're gone, they're gone forever.
Scone? Man.
A job? I'd need a résumé.
I'd need to get some paper for that résumé.
I'd need to get a first job so I'd have something to put on that résumé.
I mean, this is a job already.
Relax.
I've got this.
Just let me ask you a couple of quick questions.
One.
Do you have a last name? (loud rock music plays) Hey, who wants to build a race car with their cool brother Ethan? Race car.
Cool brother Ethan.
(music continues) Hey, turn it up.
We're rock gods.
Cuff showed us a video where tons of hairy dudes smash guitars.
He sure knows a lot about culture.
That's not such a big deal.
Any fool can smash a guitar.
Great.
Go.
You want me to smash Greta? You were right.
Cuff needs to go.
Hate to say I told you so.
Actually, no, that felt pretty good.
Up until now, I never had to try to be cool.
Being the older brother automatically gave me cred.
Whoa.
Can't believe you could reach that plate.
You must have octopus arms.
They're just arms, boys.
They're just arms.
Plus, I've got the hair, the dimples, the laid-back charm.
On paper, I'm pretty impressive.
The only thing that needs to look impressive is Cuff's résumé.
Hit me with that recon I did.
Well, he got in trouble with the police for graffiti-ing an ice cream truck.
Recognized by the city for artistic achievement.
He's been thrown out of several schools.
Comfortable with travel.
Enjoys meeting new people.
There's a surprising amount of stuff about dumpsters.
Significant experience in waste management.
When this baby's finished, I'm gonna submit it to every job website in America.
Maybe even a few overseas.
Europe better hide their leftovers.
I almost feel bad for the sucker who's gonna hire this guy.
Harley, meet your new co-worker.
You hired Cuff?! You should see his résumé.
Very impressive.
Did you know his artwork was recognized by the city? Dad, it's Cuff! Actually, his real name is Warren.
It's my favorite uncle's name.
You can't stand him, remember? What happened to my raincoat? Cuff borrowed it.
He doesn't like stuff around his wrists.
That's where he got his name.
Cuff because he doesn't like them.
I don't like my coats becoming vests.
Why do you hate Cuff? Look, I've never been a huge fan of Cuff, but this Warren is maybe someone I can get behind.
Besides, I needed the help.
And if he's here, he can't be alone with Rachel.
Hey, wanna see me stuff four of these up my nose? - Not at all.
- Totally right.
Gotta do five.
I can't believe Cuff went off and got a job.
It feels like there's one less color in the rainbow.
ETHAN: Step right up.
Step right up, step right up, and behold, the amazing smash wagon! Who's ready to bash some stuff? I've gathered an array of cool things for your smashing pleasure.
First up, a tub of ricotta cheese.
And Georgie's old crutch.
Smash-tastic! Cool.
Now do your guitar.
Let's keep Greta out of this.
But who wants to smash Daphne's old training potty? Rock gods don't smash potties.
Unless they're throwing them out of hotel windows.
We're out.
Wait.
I haven't shown you the finale.
Watermelon and a croquet mallet.
Man versus melon.
Smash-tastic.
Who am I? I'd stay away from those today.
Great.
I created a monster, and got him a part-time job.
But if I created him, I can destroy him.
I'll get Cuff to quit by showing him the down side of work.
The working.
Hey, Dad, you shouldn't be lifting that.
Remember your bad back? No.
Remember your bad memory? Take a load off.
Cuff can do it.
Oh, Cuff.
You were right, Harls.
That does feel better.
Man, the inside of this thing is filthy.
HARLEY: Cuff! Cool.
Eesh.
This thing is full of fish guts.
HARLEY: Cuff! Boy, it better rain soon.
There is a lot of seagull poop on the dinghies.
HARLEY: Cuff! Way to put your back into it, Warren.
Feel free to take a couple of fish heads home with you.
But just a couple.
This is a rough job, huh? Yeah.
It's one disgusting task after another.
No one would blame you if you wanted to quit right now.
In fact, you should.
Want me to tell Dad? I'll tell Dad.
No way.
This is the best job ever! - It is? - Totally.
Fish guts, bird poop, gross stuff I should probably be wearing gloves for.
I get to spend my day in filth, and get paid for it.
If that's not the American dream, I don't know what is.
Cuff, you gotta ditch work.
My BFF Kiki's cousin is DJ'ing at the boba place we went to.
You should totally go.
That sounds important.
Sorry.
No can do.
A garbage barge overturned in the bay, and I get to clean the sludge off your dad's jet ski rentals.
Wait.
You're picking a garbage barge over me?! Don't make it a contest.
I have strong feelings for both of you.
Okay.
This and this no! Circle back with the boba, babe.
If she comes back with boba, I wouldn't drink it.
Okay, so getting Cuff a job didn't turn out like I hoped, but at least he's out of the house, which may be a fair trade.
Let's see.
Is my leftover chicken parm still in the fridge? Oh, yeah.
Work Cuff is way better than Home Cuff.
Now let's reintroduce my butt to its long-lost friend.
The couch.
Hey, girl.
Love those cushions.
Did you miss me? What are you doing there? Cuff dumped me for his job.
Cuff broke up with you? Why would he do that? - You're so pretty.
- (blowing loudly) I mean, usually.
Do you know how hard it is to find a boyfriend who has nothing going on but you? Maybe he's just going through a phase.
Like that week Dad tried to grow facial hair.
ETHAN: Hey, Dad, I need a ride.
Solid.
Cuff broke up with me.
I can't even.
Cuff broke up with us.
We can't even.
Do you know how hard it is to find someone who can keep down a mayonnaise-covered marshmallow while spinning around on a bat? We lost the best big brother we ever had.
I can't even.
When someone breaks up with a Diaz, the whole family suffers.
How would I know getting Cuff a job would get everyone dumped? (phone buzzing) Uh, aren't you gonna get that? What's the point? You're ignoring a text?! I feel so lost.
Did we come on too strong? Know what's worse than watching someone take your place? Hearing about it 24/7.
Remember that time Cuff wore those chickens on his hands like boxing gloves? Dude, I just stopped crying.
Don't make me start again.
I just wanna hear his voice.
(line ringing) Yeah, this is Cuff.
- Leave a message at the beep.
- (farting sound) - Oh, sorry.
- (beep) (both sighing) Hey, guys, check it out.
- (farting noise) - Sorry.
We know that was your mouth.
Yeah.
Butt sounds way different.
What's with the sweats? I don't care how I look.
- I just wanna be comfortable.
- Comfortable? You wore a tube top and high heels to hike the Grand Canyon.
Why would Cuff wanna get a job anyway? We could search and search, and probably never find out.
I just don't get it.
Maybe he wanted to make some money so he could buy you nice things.
I don't want nice things.
I just wanna spend time together.
Ugh! I hate when Rachel acts like a human.
Now I have to act like a human and do the right thing.
Gentlemen, I'm about to rock your world.
Hold onto your hats, 'cause we are smashing Greta! I thought Greta was off-limits.
I saw that you were down, so I decided to cheer you up in a way only the coolest big brother in the world could.
- (beeps) - (music blares) Back up, and get ready to ride the lightning! Awesome! This makes me wanna learn guitar.
Can you teach us "Smoke On The Water"? I could but I just smashed my guitar.
Well, that's very disappointing.
Totally.
Look, I feel bad.
But juggling a girlfriend and work was tough.
I'm probably the first guy in the world who's ever had to balance something like that.
But Rachel's worth it.
Remember all that great stuff you loved about her? Like her long, brown hair and It's brown and long and what is it exactly you love about Rachel? She's really pretty.
She smells nice.
She texts super fast.
And that brown hair really is dope.
The dopest.
What was I thinking? I guess I got caught up in the glory of the job.
When you're done scraping that gum, a wharf rat's stuck in the toilet.
All I know is, Rachel's miserable.
You should've seen her this morning.
- She was wearing sweatpants.
- And you left her alone?! I bet if you apologized, she would take you back.
I don't know.
That girl really holds a grudge.
What was that for? - You ate the last cupcake.
- What cupcake? Two years ago, white cake, chocolate icing, sprinkles.
I called it, you ate it.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Sorry might not be enough.
But Rachel is a sucker for a romantic gesture.
Flowers, candy, some cash couldn't hurt.
She wouldn't wanna see me.
Even if I had all the dumpster flowers in the world.
You worry about the gesture, and I'll worry about Rachel.
We'll be back in an hour.
He's clearly not dead.
What am I doing here? There's something he would like to say to you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go crouch down behind the rubber boot display and pretend not to listen.
Rachel, I've made a lot of mistakes since I've had this job.
I let a guy walk away with the bathroom key.
I took more than a couple of those fish heads.
Get to it.
But the biggest mistake I made was choosing this job over you, because as much as I care about garbage, there's something I care about even more.
Baby.
Warren.
Why? Cuff, you're fired.
I thought you'd be cool with it.
You heart Rachel, too.
I also heart my in-store merchandise.
Get out! Does this mean you're hiring, because I need to earn some money for a new guitar.
He's hiring.
You can't choose who your siblings date, but if you try to get rid of them, chances are you'll end up with a mess.
Only 32 more hours of this, and I can buy a new guitar.
Remind me again why I was trying to impress Lewie and Beast.
No, Ethan, don't look.
New low.
They don't even want me to look at them.
Whatever they're doing, that's probably a good thing.
Okay.
Now.
Check it out.
We figured out how to fix Greta.
So now you can teach us "Smoke On The Water.
" Prepare to be rock gods! On a guitar with one string.
All right, here we go! So the boys got their real big bro back.
And my leftover pizza.
No longer left over, which means everything's back to normal.
Good-bye, unwind time.
Hello, Cuff on our couch until I'm dead.
Hey, Harley, Cuff ate your pizza.
Yeah, I see that.
But I totally made him save you the crust.
Wanna watch TV? Not a fan of Man Vs.
Dumpster.
No, there's a new Dance Dads on.
I mean, if you wanna watch with us.
Okay.
Sure.
Crust? Crust sounds great.
We ran out of all of our usual flavors at work today, so I had to invent one.
Okay, so we're out of Sweet Carol-lime, Cherry Underwood, we're even out of Kale-or Swift.
But don't worry.
I have a new delicious flavor.
Slushy Classic.
- It's just crushed ice and tap water.
- Mmm.
Sold seven of them.
Those hipsters will buy anything.
All I wanna do is plop down on the couch, watch TV, and stuff my face with leftover wings from Wingapore Palace.
Here, birdy, birdy, birdy.
They're gone? Are you kidding me? I even hid them behind the yams that have been there since Easter.
You hid leftovers in the fridge? In this house? You gotta hide them on your person.
- Egg roll? - Pass.
Ever since school got out, Rachel's boyfriend Cuff has been at the house nonstop.
In a family of nine, the last thing you need is ten.
It's like when your sibling is dating someone, the whole family's dating them, too.
Rachel, this is supposed to be my TV time.
I let you watch last night so I could watch now.
But what have you done for Cuff? He likes to watch Man Vs.
Dumpster.
It's how he unwinds.
From what? He doesn't have a job.
Texas Barbecue Edition.
CUFF: Sweet.
I've seen this one.
Spoiler alert: Dumpster Jack finds a week-old brisket in a mannequin head.
Did you just toss a chicken bone into my invention bag? Uh, sorry.
There was a bunch of junk in there.
I thought it was a garbage bag.
Hey.
Guys, my TV time.
So let's play the quiet game while Harley watches Dance Dads.
Dance Dads record request cancelled? What?! Stop shouting, Harley.
We are trying to relax.
I thought we were playing the quiet game.
You cancelled Dance Dads for a show about a guy who digs through garbage?! Digs through and eats.
Gotta give Dumpster Jack full props.
Cuff is our guest.
Don't be rude.
What's rude is forcing me to watch a show no one wants to see.
Hey, Man Vs.
Dumpster! That's exactly what we wanna watch right now.
That guy is like a virus.
The whole family's come down with whooping Cuff.
Rachel's here more, he winds up Lewie and Beast.
You're saying that like it's a bad thing.
With Cuff around, they don't bug me.
I get to spend more quality time with Greta.
I'm going to channel this negativity into something useful.
Maybe finish my solar-heated birdbath.
Wow, that slushy syrup is sticky.
Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff, Cuff.
I guess Man Vs.
Dumpster's over.
But Harley vs.
Cuff has just begun.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you Yep, my snack went from delicious wings to the canned chickpeas.
This is what's available when you're hiding in a pantry.
First up, the unthinkable.
Marshmallows dipped in mayonnaise.
I heard even goats can't keep that down.
What should we call it? Mayonallow or marshonnaise? Let's call it both, and do it twice! Get 'em while they're gross! Yeah! Yesterday it was forehead karate.
Today, it's the iron gut challenge.
Tomorrow, I hear it's roadkill autopsy.
They have no respect for people who bust their humps working for a living.
I mean, if Cuff had any idea what it's like to have a job That's it.
The cure for the common Cuff.
If that dummy had a job, he wouldn't be stapled to our couch.
- (muffled) - That means, Cuff, you're like the cool big brother we never had.
- (laughs) - You're the best.
All I'm saying is, it's nice to have - a little change in your pocket.
- Why? See? Free.
Could use more sugar which I'll add.
Also free.
But what about Rachel? You can't keep a girl like her sitting around watching a guy in a dumpster.
I mean, Kanye just rented Kim an island in the Caribbean.
You can rent an island? No, you can't.
But maybe if you had a job you could afford the magazine I saw the picture of the island in.
Eh.
I'm not really a jobby kind of guy.
I take after my dad that way.
Okay.
I just don't want Rachel getting bored of you.
That's why she dumped her last five boyfriends.
Whoa.
I never heard her talk about any old boyfriends.
Yeah, once they're gone, they're gone forever.
Scone? Man.
A job? I'd need a résumé.
I'd need to get some paper for that résumé.
I'd need to get a first job so I'd have something to put on that résumé.
I mean, this is a job already.
Relax.
I've got this.
Just let me ask you a couple of quick questions.
One.
Do you have a last name? (loud rock music plays) Hey, who wants to build a race car with their cool brother Ethan? Race car.
Cool brother Ethan.
(music continues) Hey, turn it up.
We're rock gods.
Cuff showed us a video where tons of hairy dudes smash guitars.
He sure knows a lot about culture.
That's not such a big deal.
Any fool can smash a guitar.
Great.
Go.
You want me to smash Greta? You were right.
Cuff needs to go.
Hate to say I told you so.
Actually, no, that felt pretty good.
Up until now, I never had to try to be cool.
Being the older brother automatically gave me cred.
Whoa.
Can't believe you could reach that plate.
You must have octopus arms.
They're just arms, boys.
They're just arms.
Plus, I've got the hair, the dimples, the laid-back charm.
On paper, I'm pretty impressive.
The only thing that needs to look impressive is Cuff's résumé.
Hit me with that recon I did.
Well, he got in trouble with the police for graffiti-ing an ice cream truck.
Recognized by the city for artistic achievement.
He's been thrown out of several schools.
Comfortable with travel.
Enjoys meeting new people.
There's a surprising amount of stuff about dumpsters.
Significant experience in waste management.
When this baby's finished, I'm gonna submit it to every job website in America.
Maybe even a few overseas.
Europe better hide their leftovers.
I almost feel bad for the sucker who's gonna hire this guy.
Harley, meet your new co-worker.
You hired Cuff?! You should see his résumé.
Very impressive.
Did you know his artwork was recognized by the city? Dad, it's Cuff! Actually, his real name is Warren.
It's my favorite uncle's name.
You can't stand him, remember? What happened to my raincoat? Cuff borrowed it.
He doesn't like stuff around his wrists.
That's where he got his name.
Cuff because he doesn't like them.
I don't like my coats becoming vests.
Why do you hate Cuff? Look, I've never been a huge fan of Cuff, but this Warren is maybe someone I can get behind.
Besides, I needed the help.
And if he's here, he can't be alone with Rachel.
Hey, wanna see me stuff four of these up my nose? - Not at all.
- Totally right.
Gotta do five.
I can't believe Cuff went off and got a job.
It feels like there's one less color in the rainbow.
ETHAN: Step right up.
Step right up, step right up, and behold, the amazing smash wagon! Who's ready to bash some stuff? I've gathered an array of cool things for your smashing pleasure.
First up, a tub of ricotta cheese.
And Georgie's old crutch.
Smash-tastic! Cool.
Now do your guitar.
Let's keep Greta out of this.
But who wants to smash Daphne's old training potty? Rock gods don't smash potties.
Unless they're throwing them out of hotel windows.
We're out.
Wait.
I haven't shown you the finale.
Watermelon and a croquet mallet.
Man versus melon.
Smash-tastic.
Who am I? I'd stay away from those today.
Great.
I created a monster, and got him a part-time job.
But if I created him, I can destroy him.
I'll get Cuff to quit by showing him the down side of work.
The working.
Hey, Dad, you shouldn't be lifting that.
Remember your bad back? No.
Remember your bad memory? Take a load off.
Cuff can do it.
Oh, Cuff.
You were right, Harls.
That does feel better.
Man, the inside of this thing is filthy.
HARLEY: Cuff! Cool.
Eesh.
This thing is full of fish guts.
HARLEY: Cuff! Boy, it better rain soon.
There is a lot of seagull poop on the dinghies.
HARLEY: Cuff! Way to put your back into it, Warren.
Feel free to take a couple of fish heads home with you.
But just a couple.
This is a rough job, huh? Yeah.
It's one disgusting task after another.
No one would blame you if you wanted to quit right now.
In fact, you should.
Want me to tell Dad? I'll tell Dad.
No way.
This is the best job ever! - It is? - Totally.
Fish guts, bird poop, gross stuff I should probably be wearing gloves for.
I get to spend my day in filth, and get paid for it.
If that's not the American dream, I don't know what is.
Cuff, you gotta ditch work.
My BFF Kiki's cousin is DJ'ing at the boba place we went to.
You should totally go.
That sounds important.
Sorry.
No can do.
A garbage barge overturned in the bay, and I get to clean the sludge off your dad's jet ski rentals.
Wait.
You're picking a garbage barge over me?! Don't make it a contest.
I have strong feelings for both of you.
Okay.
This and this no! Circle back with the boba, babe.
If she comes back with boba, I wouldn't drink it.
Okay, so getting Cuff a job didn't turn out like I hoped, but at least he's out of the house, which may be a fair trade.
Let's see.
Is my leftover chicken parm still in the fridge? Oh, yeah.
Work Cuff is way better than Home Cuff.
Now let's reintroduce my butt to its long-lost friend.
The couch.
Hey, girl.
Love those cushions.
Did you miss me? What are you doing there? Cuff dumped me for his job.
Cuff broke up with you? Why would he do that? - You're so pretty.
- (blowing loudly) I mean, usually.
Do you know how hard it is to find a boyfriend who has nothing going on but you? Maybe he's just going through a phase.
Like that week Dad tried to grow facial hair.
ETHAN: Hey, Dad, I need a ride.
Solid.
Cuff broke up with me.
I can't even.
Cuff broke up with us.
We can't even.
Do you know how hard it is to find someone who can keep down a mayonnaise-covered marshmallow while spinning around on a bat? We lost the best big brother we ever had.
I can't even.
When someone breaks up with a Diaz, the whole family suffers.
How would I know getting Cuff a job would get everyone dumped? (phone buzzing) Uh, aren't you gonna get that? What's the point? You're ignoring a text?! I feel so lost.
Did we come on too strong? Know what's worse than watching someone take your place? Hearing about it 24/7.
Remember that time Cuff wore those chickens on his hands like boxing gloves? Dude, I just stopped crying.
Don't make me start again.
I just wanna hear his voice.
(line ringing) Yeah, this is Cuff.
- Leave a message at the beep.
- (farting sound) - Oh, sorry.
- (beep) (both sighing) Hey, guys, check it out.
- (farting noise) - Sorry.
We know that was your mouth.
Yeah.
Butt sounds way different.
What's with the sweats? I don't care how I look.
- I just wanna be comfortable.
- Comfortable? You wore a tube top and high heels to hike the Grand Canyon.
Why would Cuff wanna get a job anyway? We could search and search, and probably never find out.
I just don't get it.
Maybe he wanted to make some money so he could buy you nice things.
I don't want nice things.
I just wanna spend time together.
Ugh! I hate when Rachel acts like a human.
Now I have to act like a human and do the right thing.
Gentlemen, I'm about to rock your world.
Hold onto your hats, 'cause we are smashing Greta! I thought Greta was off-limits.
I saw that you were down, so I decided to cheer you up in a way only the coolest big brother in the world could.
- (beeps) - (music blares) Back up, and get ready to ride the lightning! Awesome! This makes me wanna learn guitar.
Can you teach us "Smoke On The Water"? I could but I just smashed my guitar.
Well, that's very disappointing.
Totally.
Look, I feel bad.
But juggling a girlfriend and work was tough.
I'm probably the first guy in the world who's ever had to balance something like that.
But Rachel's worth it.
Remember all that great stuff you loved about her? Like her long, brown hair and It's brown and long and what is it exactly you love about Rachel? She's really pretty.
She smells nice.
She texts super fast.
And that brown hair really is dope.
The dopest.
What was I thinking? I guess I got caught up in the glory of the job.
When you're done scraping that gum, a wharf rat's stuck in the toilet.
All I know is, Rachel's miserable.
You should've seen her this morning.
- She was wearing sweatpants.
- And you left her alone?! I bet if you apologized, she would take you back.
I don't know.
That girl really holds a grudge.
What was that for? - You ate the last cupcake.
- What cupcake? Two years ago, white cake, chocolate icing, sprinkles.
I called it, you ate it.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Sorry might not be enough.
But Rachel is a sucker for a romantic gesture.
Flowers, candy, some cash couldn't hurt.
She wouldn't wanna see me.
Even if I had all the dumpster flowers in the world.
You worry about the gesture, and I'll worry about Rachel.
We'll be back in an hour.
He's clearly not dead.
What am I doing here? There's something he would like to say to you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go crouch down behind the rubber boot display and pretend not to listen.
Rachel, I've made a lot of mistakes since I've had this job.
I let a guy walk away with the bathroom key.
I took more than a couple of those fish heads.
Get to it.
But the biggest mistake I made was choosing this job over you, because as much as I care about garbage, there's something I care about even more.
Baby.
Warren.
Why? Cuff, you're fired.
I thought you'd be cool with it.
You heart Rachel, too.
I also heart my in-store merchandise.
Get out! Does this mean you're hiring, because I need to earn some money for a new guitar.
He's hiring.
You can't choose who your siblings date, but if you try to get rid of them, chances are you'll end up with a mess.
Only 32 more hours of this, and I can buy a new guitar.
Remind me again why I was trying to impress Lewie and Beast.
No, Ethan, don't look.
New low.
They don't even want me to look at them.
Whatever they're doing, that's probably a good thing.
Okay.
Now.
Check it out.
We figured out how to fix Greta.
So now you can teach us "Smoke On The Water.
" Prepare to be rock gods! On a guitar with one string.
All right, here we go! So the boys got their real big bro back.
And my leftover pizza.
No longer left over, which means everything's back to normal.
Good-bye, unwind time.
Hello, Cuff on our couch until I'm dead.
Hey, Harley, Cuff ate your pizza.
Yeah, I see that.
But I totally made him save you the crust.
Wanna watch TV? Not a fan of Man Vs.
Dumpster.
No, there's a new Dance Dads on.
I mean, if you wanna watch with us.
Okay.
Sure.
Crust? Crust sounds great.