Ten Year Old Tom (2021) s01e10 Episode Script

1
- Now as our poor
young lungs deflate ♪
I'll admit
I've gotten older ♪
Mellowed out, chatting up
those I used to hate ♪
♪
The feeling that
we're lost will always fade ♪
I present no explanation ♪
Can't expect
our tired patience ♪
To satiate for long ♪
Therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪
Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪
- Oh, so hot.
Oh, so sweaty.
Sweat dripping off
of my 10-year-old Johnson.
This is not worth the $40.
- Oh, Tommy, thank you so much.
Look at you!
You're such a doll.
- Oh, no problem.
That's gonna be 40 bucks.
- Oh my gosh!
I love your industrious spirit,
but here is a plate of brownies
for your trouble.
- What do you mean?
Brownies instead of--
- instead of money?
- I'm just a little short
on cash right now.
- I just mowed the lawn
for two hours.
- Sweetheart, you shouldn't be
helping neighbors
for the money, okay?
You should be helping them
for the exchange of goodwill
and good brownies!
Bye-bye, Tommy!
- I'm saying no.
What's happening?
- Bye sweetheart! B-bye!
- "B-bye"?
Oh, what a day.
This is not a quality lawnmower
at all, is it?
[truck horn honks]
- Excuse me, kid.
- Me?
- What the hell do you think
you're doing?
- I was just walking home.
- No, what you're doing
is stealing clients
by undercutting my prices.
- Stealing clients? I'm 10.
- Oh-ho!
You're one of these kids
who likes to hide behind math!
- What's happening?
- You're stealing food
from my family.
- No.
- That job
- Stop.
- Could've been
a hot meal
- Stop.
- On my son's plate.
- Hey, Tom.
- Oh, hey, Randy.
- Yeah, Tom.
Why did you steal my dinner?
- No, you've got it all wrong.
I literally got paid
in brownies.
I didn't even get money.
- Oh!
Great, so you stole my dessert.
That's even worse.
- You steal desserts!
A child's reward
for what he does, you steal!
[truck horn honking]
- What just happened?
- Whoo, Tom,
these are incredible!
This is even better than money.
- I don't know about that.
- Tom, if I've taught you
one thing
as a mother, what is it?
- You can't eat money?
- Exactly.
Keep these brownies coming.
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, hang on.
Oh, hi, Denise.
What's up, girl?
Why yes, Tom is mowing lawns
for baked goods.
- Oh, no!
Don't encourage that.
- Will he mow your lawn
for a Bundt cake?
- Give me the phone.
- Of course he will!
We'll put you down
for Saturday.
Take care, Denise.
- Oh my God! Denise!
- Too late.
- Mom, I don't think
you have the authority
to accept jobs on my behalf.
That's against the law.
- Tom, I'm your mom.
I have complete and unchecked
authority over you.
- No, let's call the mayor.
Let's call somebody.
What's going on here?
- Let's call--hey!
Call the mayor.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi, Rick.
It's funny you ask, Rick.
Tom is accepting new clients.
- No, no, no.
- Sure.
Snickerdoodles.
That sounds great.
- Snickerdoodles?
- I'll put you down
for Saturday.
- Rick
- He's gonna love working
for baked goods.
- Woot, woot!
- Kids, follow your dreams.
Good things will happen.
Aim high.
[applause]
- That was inspiring.
Wow.
Listen to that stuff, kids!
Next up to tell us
about their career:
He is a landscaper.
He works with mulch and trees.
- Oh, no.
- Give it up for Mr. Miller.
[applause]
- Kids, remember this face,
because it is
the face of failure.
Look at it!
All of you!
Don't avert your eyes!
I had a successful business,
and then Tom here
- Oh, no.
Leave me out of this.
- swooped in and stole
all my clients.
- I didn't swoop.
- I can't find work,
and my son can't eat.
- I'm hungry, Dad.
- Randy, please
- I'm starving, Papa!
- That felt preplanned.
- I know you are.
But I can't provide
for my family
because of Tom, Randy.
- All right, listen, everyone.
I feel terrible.
If there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
- Can we crash at your house?
We're being evicted.
- No, that's a bit much.
Good luck, though.
Hope you guys find something.
If you need anything,
just say the word.
- Can we crash at your house?
- If you need anything
other than shelter,
other than housing
- Tom, you just said,
"If there's anything I can do."
- No, that's
a figure of speech.
I was just making small talk.
- Small talk?
These people need shelter!
- And isn't your dad in, like,
Myrtle Beach or something,
so you actually have
plenty of room?
- Tom, why do you hate
my dad's business?
Why do you hate our family?
Why did you steal my dinner?
- All right, you know what?
My mom is not big
on houseguests,
but I feel like
she's gonna understand.
Our home is your home.
- You want to have
a belching contest?
- [belches]
- That's good!
[belches]
I win again!
- How long are you two
staying again?
- There was no end date.
Wake up, Tom!
- What's happening?
Why? What?
- We're playing Jenga!
Come on.
- You woke me up for Jenga?
- What?
"Some pulp"?
Okay, I guess I'm "some happy"
right now.
Jesus.
- I'm washing my body
with a great soap ♪
Even though the
American empire's collapsing ♪
- In sports, the International
Basketball League was busy
last night with several games
on the schedule
- [breaks wind]
- [breaks wind]
- You know what, guys?
Take this the right way,
but I find you people
so annoying,
and I think we need
to wrap this up.
- You're throwing us out?
- Yup.
- Even though I have no way
to earn a living?
- Look, there's plenty
of jobs out there.
What skills do you have
besides landscaping?
- What are your top skills?
- My top skill?
- Yeah.
- Crying.
- Oh, come on.
- That's learnable.
- I don't work well
with others.
- That's a problem.
- I have no grasp
on basic
communication skills, okay?
- That's true.
- I also refuse to wear
a uniform or a suit.
- You're really limiting
your options.
- This weekend, we're holding
open auditions
for "New Jersey's Got Talent"!
Come on, Jersey.
Show us what you got.
Top prize is $1 million!
- That's it. You can sing.
- That's your career.
- Me?
I'm no singer.
- I heard you in the shower.
You're great.
- You think I could sing
professionally?
- If it gets you out
of my house, I really do.
- Me too.
I think you can do it.
- Tom will even join you
at the audition
to make sure it goes well.
- Oh no, I'm not joining
anyone.
I don't join things.
- Tom, you bankrupted
my father.
The least you can do
is tag along and clap.
[breaks wind]
- Yo, Tom!
- Oh, Nelson.
Hey, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
You guys are all auditioning?
- Of course.
- I'm doing my magic act.
Watch this.
Whoa!
Oh! A quarter?
- Oh, my God, that was amazing.
- Man.
That's magic, brother.
- Principal, what kind of act
do you do?
- It sounds boring, but it's--
I do a tap dance routine
with my dog.
- Wow. Lot of good acts.
Lot of strong acts.
- What are you doing, Tom?
I didn't know
you had any talents.
- Oh, I'm not talented, no.
I'm just here to make sure
the landscaper's audition
goes well.
- What?
- He moved into our house
with his son.
Now I'm helping him
- What?
- Reinvent his career.
It's a long story.
- If I had a penny
for all your stories,
I would have a--
ah-oh--a quarter!
- That's good.
It gets me every time.
- I think I'm ready.
- [scatting]
- Thank you for coming in.
- Thank you.
- Next up, I've got
a Mr. Miller.
- Thanks for seeing me.
My passion is to write
and sing original songs,
mostly about landscaping.
Here we go.
[moody music]
Leaf Blower blow me home ♪
Blow me a mil-- ♪
- Thank you.
Thank you for coming in.
- Oh, you didn't like it?
- Oh, no, no.
You have a lovely voice.
There's just no market
for landscaping ballads.
Just a tough genre,
if you know what I mean.
- At least let the guy
finish the song.
He waited for hours.
- And who are you?
- I'm Tom.
I'm his landlord.
- That's funny.
Now, this kid
has an interesting look.
And look at his brother.
What a pair.
- Oh, no, we're not brothers.
- No, yeah, we have
an open disdain for each other.
- I love the banter.
What a family.
- We're not a family.
- But we do live
under the same roof, Tom.
- Yeah.
We don't like each other.
There's constant discontent.
We're a family.
- What if you do this act,
but as a boy band?
- What? No.
- A boy band that includes
one of the dads?
I mean, it's never been done.
- Love it. Fresh idea.
- Genius.
- That sounds like
the worst act ever.
- Why don't you not tell me
how to do my business, kid?
Come back in next week, because
you guys are in round one.
- What? No, no, no.
- Yes.
- Son, our problems are over.
[gentle guitar music]
All right, here we go.
Ready?
Hit it!
I'm here mowing lawns ♪
And applying mulch ♪
- Mulch ♪
- And I'm blowing
people's leaves ♪
- I'm here ♪
- Blowing leaves.
- But it's no fun
when you're not here ♪
- Oh, my God.
What am I seeing?
- I think it's time
to leave ♪
- Blow me from here.
- Okay. Stop the music.
Tom!
- What's wrong?
- You need to sell it.
- I was snapping,
snapping and dancing.
- Big smile.
Snap like you mean it.
- Tom, can I have a word
with you, buddy?
- All right, you guys practice.
I'm gonna go talk to Nelson.
- Here we go. Here we go.
All right, you ready?
- Hey, buddy. What's up?
- Hey, what are you doing?
- What am I doing?
I joined
a family-based boy band
that sings about landscaping.
We made it to round one.
Good shot at
the million dollars, I think.
- Big smile!
- Tom, Tom
- Randy, what are you doing?
- Tom.
- You okay?
Why are you
rubbing your temples?
- You're not winning anything.
- All right.
Sounds like you're jealous,
so I'm--
- Jealous?
Come on, man.
Haven't you seen those shows?
You guys are
the "token bad act."
- Token bad act?
What does that even mean?
- They bring you on the show
so they can make fun of you.
- That's why we're on the show?
- It's a setup.
- Oh, no.
This is not good at all.
- Randy.
- If you can't snap,
you don't belong
in the business.
- I'm telling you, man.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
You need to bail on this.
I can't be friends with a guy
in a landscaping boy band.
- I appreciate the talk,
but I gotta be honest.
My gut is saying go for it.
- Tom, you're wearing
a jumpsuit,
snapping and dancing.
- Yeah?
- You clearly don't make
good decisions in life.
- Tom, you have
outdone yourself.
I can't believe
they sent a limo!
- They do it
for all on-camera talent.
- What now?
- And it's not a limo.
It's a nasty old town car.
- In my opinion,
if it's got a glass wall,
it's a limo, and please zip it.
- Enjoy.
- I'm proud of you, Tom.
- Thank you.
- 'Cause not only are you
getting these lunatics
out of our house,
you could also win $1 million.
- Mom, don't get your hopes up.
I don't think our act
is that strong, to be honest.
[cell phone ringing]
- Hello?
Actually, my son
cannot mow your lawn today.
- Oh, no, I can.
- Go ahead, fire him.
Your Bundt cake sucks anyway.
Bye, bitch.
- You can't do that.
- Millionaires don't mow lawns.
Ya heard?
[cell phone ringing]
Hello.
No, Tom can't make it.
- I'll be there.
- He said, and I quote,
"Tell Mrs. Ryan
to shove her weedwhacker
straight up her own crack."
I know, kids these days.
[upbeat dance music
playing distantly]
- All right, buddy.
I just need to mic you up.
- Oh, okay. Showbiz.
Very exciting.
- Hey, where are
your dad and brother?
- I have no idea.
- What do you mean?
- We're not a tight family.
- Oh, you've got
to be shitting me!
We need them.
- What?
- You're on in 10 minutes.
- Oh.
- We're gonna have
to call them.
- Okay.
- Here.
- Hello?
- Where are you?
We go on in 10 minutes.
- Can't hear you, Tom.
I'm mowing a lawn.
- You're mowing a lawn?
- I've been flooded
with calls today, Tom.
All my clients want me back.
- No.
- They said you're unreliable
and rude, Tom.
And your mom told them off.
- Oh, no
- Remember, Tom.
Snap with conviction
and big smiles.
- Thanks, Dad.
See you later.
- Okay, where are they?
- I know this isn't
what you want to hear.
We're gonna have to cancel.
- Wait, sorry.
Cancel?
We don't do that.
You're going out there
right now.
♪
- That was wonderful.
Wasn't that wonderful, folks?
That was fun.
Well, our next act should be
a real crowd-pleaser, too.
His name is Tom.
He's a former member
of a family-based boy band,
but now he's striking out
on his own,
dancing and snapping
to landscaping music.
[gentle guitar music]
♪
- I forget the lyrics
Something about mulch?
Oh, my God.
This is
- Oh, what's that?
Look, a quarter.
- Can I get off the stage?
What happens now?
- Excuse me.
Is that your son up there?
Because he is very bad.
- No, my son died
in a weed-whacking accident.
I don't know who this kid is.
♪
- [coughing]
- [moans]
- Hey, kids, I've got a lot
going on in my life right now.
What are these "emergencies"?
Make it quick.
- I've had explosive diarrhea
all morning,
and I'm crapping
all over the school.
- Not touching that.
Next.
- I got stung by a bee,
and I can't feel my tongue.
- Gonna stop ya right there.
Those are all
really complex ailments.
Tom, what's wrong with you?
- You know,
I feel kind of sluggish.
I can't tell if it's--I'm sick,
or if it's just my personality.
- All right, get in here, Tom.
Let's get you taken care of.
Okay, Tom,
put this in your mouth
and make it seem like
I'm doing work.
- Okay.
- I'm actually really glad
you stopped by.
You were
on my to-do list today.
- Me? Why?
- Because I have
an announcement!
I'm getting married
to a beautiful man named Doug!
- Why are you telling me?
- This school is like family
to me, okay?
I'm inviting all
of my favorite people.
- I'm one
of your favorite people?
We've literally talked twice
about Band-Aids.
- And tell your Mom she's
gonna be in my bridal party.
We're gonna have so much fun!
- Have you guys even met?
- She's my best friend.
She's being in the wedding.
[thermometer beeps]
Oh, you're actually
really sick,
but I'm not dealing with that.
See ya.
[upbeat music playing]
- Oh wow, she really invited
the whole town.
Kevork, the plumber,
the guy who works at 7-Eleven,
my old babysitter.
- Tom, when people ask
about me,
always just say, "She's busy."
- I'm sorry.
I said she's wide open.
- And I know that's the truth
of our lives,
but don't say that.
- I shouldn't have
volunteered you
to be in someone's
bridal party.
- How do you think I feel?
I mean, I'm giving away
the bride,
and I literally don't know
her last name.
- I'm starting to feel
left out.
Am I the only person
not invited?
- Ah, no, lots of people
didn't make the cut.
I mean you
Dakota's mom
I don't think she invited
the Principal's bookie, Lou.
- Nope, I'm here!
I'm in charge
of pussy and booze.
What do you guys need?
- Hey, Lou.
- Is this all I represent
to you people?
A bus driver?
The guy who sits
behind the wheel
and drives the bus?
- Yep, yeah.
- Yeah, that is the definition
of a bus driver.
- Okay.
I retract the question.
- Look, I got to put
this stupid dress on.
I'll see you at the ceremony.
Don't talk to anyone, Tom.
Let's make this
a clean in and out.
- Don't talk to anyone?
- Yeah, just go sit
really still
in a corner of the lobby.
Face a wall.
- And just pretend
I can't talk?
- Yeah, you know what?
I'll give you a couple
of papers that say
"I don't know how to talk."
- All right.
Not the most fun wedding,
but sure.
All right, if anyone talks
to you, just "no habla ingles."
- How's it going, little man?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm getting married.
I'm Doug.
- Oh!
She didn't say
she was marrying
the ice cream man.
- Well, I--I think "Doug"
feels more prestigious.
You know, if you tell someone,
"I'm marrying
the ice cream man,"
it doesn't sound
like a bright future.
- So, uh you excited?
- Not at all.
I feel like the walls
are closing in around me.
It's like my schvanz
is in a vice
and the pressure
is slowly tightening.
- Doesn't sound fun at all.
- It's not fun.
Hey, listen.
I need you to do me a favor.
I was supposed to find
a ring bearer
for this whole thing,
and I didn't.
So, can you do it?
- Me?
No, I promised my mom
we'd be in and out.
I--I can't bear any rings.
- You owe me one.
- I owe you? Why?
- You sank my truck.
You know how much it cost
to dredge that thing up?
- All right, I guess I owe you
on some level.
- This is what you've got
to learn in life.
This is good for you, actually.
This is a learning situation.
[rock music]
- That bachelor party
was off the hook!
At the strip club,
when she went upside down
and her hair was dragging--
- Guys! Guys! Keep it clean.
We got
a little fucking kid here.
- Oh right.
Yeah, of course-course-course.
I was saying,
I was at the strip club
when that grown woman
climbed a pole,
that--that was so much fun!
- Yeah. She really climbed
that pole good.
- That was--I'm sorry, guys.
That was the party?
You watched a lady
climb a pole?
- No, Tom, there's more to it.
There's music,
and there's lights
- They got pretzels.
- They got
little bags of chips.
- Can I be honest with you?
You guys' stories
are kinda boring.
I might go hang out
over there with Doug.
- Please go over there.
Doug, you really
should start getting dressed.
It's almost time.
- There is a time to be born
and a time to die,
a time to plant
and a time to uproot.
That's from the Bible.
- Are you okay, Doug?
- Not really.
My life is flashing
before my eyes.
I'm like a wild stallion, Tom.
I need to run free.
- I'm not following.
What does the stallion
have to do with anything?
- I feel trapped.
I'm gonna marry this nurse
and then drive
an ice cream truck
the rest of my life?
- Sounds amazing!
But, hey, my dad was married,
and he didn't feel trapped.
He just drove off
to Myrtle Beach one day.
- Really? For how long?
- Just a
indefinite Myrtle Beach
excursion.
- Let me get this straight.
He was married
with a kid, you
- Yeah.
- And he said,
"I'm driving to Myrtle Beach?"
- I mean, he didn't say it
out loud.
He just took off.
He just left a note
on the fridge.
- Your dad sounds
like a legend.
- Legend?
No, no.
My mom
would disagree with that.
- Well, potato, pa-tot-oh.
This is great advice, Tom.
- Oh no, it's not "advice."
- It changes my whole outlook
on the whole thing.
- Okay.
Well, glad we talked.
- And by the way, Tom,
you still owe me six grand
for the ice cream truck.
Am I ever going to see
that money?
- You didn't get it?
I thought I mailed it.
- You know I didn't
get it, Tom.
- I clearly mailed you $6,000.
- You mailed it?
You sent it through the mail?
[wedding march playing]
- Wow, you clean up nice.
- Aw! Thank you.
So do you.
- Hey, I know
I'm Tom's principal,
but is it inappropriate for me
to say
your tits look amazing
in that dress?
- No, that's cool.
I welcome it. Thank you.
- Thanks for your patience,
everyone.
We will begin shortly.
Unfortunately, we are
just waiting on the groom.
♪
- What's going on out there?
Is he seriously running late?
- I'm sure he's milling
around somewhere.
- What the F, guys?
You were just with him.
Who saw him last?
- I saw him.
He was talking to Tom
right by the window.
- Tom
- Sorry, Mom.
I didn't talk, though.
I mostly listened.
- Okay.
Tom, what did he say?
- Uh, just a lot
of Bible quotes.
- Bible?
Like quotes about loving me?
- Nah, it was about, uh, time
and, uh,
a lot of doomsday talk.
Something about a stallion.
- Okay, you're freaking me out.
- His schvanz in a vice.
Is that from the Bible?
- Oh, guys, wait.
There's a note.
- A note?
Let me see.
What does it say?
"I'm driving down
to Myrtle Beach
just like Tom's dad did."
- Wait. What?
- "Thanks for the advice, Tom.
You da man.
Woot, woot.
P.S.: the stallion rides free."
Tom, what the fuck?
- I don't think people say
"what the fuck"
at weddings, do they?
- They do when
they're abandoned.
- All right.
Let's just go dance
and eat dinner.
What do you do now?
- Cry.
- Let's go cry and dance.
[upbeat jazz music]
♪
- Come on people, dance.
We're only playing
jazz standards,
so don't wait
for the Electric Slide
or something you consider
to be fun.
- [crying]
- Con--congratulations.
What do people say? Congrats?
- Shut up!
- Listen, I'm--I'm so--
I feel terrible.
- You should.
- Principal, say something.
- Say nothing.
Let Tom sit in the discomfort.
- All right, everybody!
So good news:
the reception is starting,
and the nurse is gonna start
by cutting the cake.
Yay! Yay!
- No, I am not!
I'm not--I'm not cutting
the cake by myself.
That's sad.
- It's a tradition, right?
- It's fun!
You cut the cake.
You eat cake.
- That does sound fun.
- Okay.
- Get to the part where you
smear it on your face, please.
- I'm not smearing it
on my face.
- Have you ever been
to a wedding?
Everybody smears cake
on their face.
- Well, normally there's
someone else
doing the smearing!
- Come on, take a deep breath.
This could be the best night
of your life.
- Smear it on your face!
Smear it on your face.
- Mom. No. Mom. Please.
Don't chant.
guests: Smear it on your face.
- Oh my God!
This is a nightmare.
Fine.
Fine!
- All right.
At least we're having fun now!
Give her a hand.
That was--she's a good sport!
She's a good sport.
- I'm not having fun!
Hi, can I stick my head in?
I'm friends with everyone here.
- Name.
- It's probably
under "Bus Driver."
- Nope.
- Try "the" bus driver.
- Nope.
Under the Bs,
I've got bus mechanic
- That's an insult.
- Bus dispatch guy
- Another asshole.
- Bus insurance adjuster.
- Okay, prick.
- And bus door repairman.
- Bus door repairman?
- Yeah, he came in dancing
doing this whole thing
called "the bus door."
It was pretty cool.
- He's doing the bus door?
I invented the bus door!
- Oh, hey, Bus Driver.
Can we talk real quick?
- Sure. Yeah.
I wasn't going in anywhere.
- All right, listen,
here's the deal:
I ruined the whole wedding.
It's a disaster.
The groom took off.
He's heading down the turnpike
in an ice cream truck.
We gotta go find him.
- All right,
well, let's do this!
Let's hunt it down.
- Really? That's amazing.
- I want to be part
of this wedding.
If I got to chase down and hit
the groom's ice cream truck,
I'm okay to do that.
Tom, put your seatbelt on,
because we are going 90,
and there is a very good chance
this does not end well.
- All right, just keep
your foot on the gas.
He's in a slow-moving truck.
We can catch him.
- Wait, wait!
Is that him?
- All right. Veer right.
We got him.
- I'm veering my ass off.
- Doug, slow down.
It's Tom, from the balcony.
- Ah.
Hey, little man.
What's up?
- Listen, you need
to reconsider.
You're making
a terrible mistake.
- Oh, I agree.
I should've taken the parkway.
But it's too late.
I can't turn around.
- No, it's not the mistake
I'm talking about.
I'm talking about
the wedding you bailed on.
- Nah, too late for that.
I already said
"the stallion rides free."
It'd be embarrassing
to just go back now.
- Doug, that is not a good
reason to not get married.
- When you grow up, you realize
you make life decisions
on a lot of stupid things.
[honks horn]
- Remember that time we went
to an Italian restaurant
and then screwed on my couch?
- I do.
That was fun.
Remember the time
we went to the concert,
and we threw churros at people,
and you hit that guy
in the eye?
- That might have been
the best night of my life.
And I don't know if you
remember this, Principal,
but I have a son.
- Where is Tom, by the way?
I haven't seen him?
- I'm sure
he's around here somewhere.
I try not to be
a "helicopter mom,"
as they say.
- All right, come on,
get me closer.
I'm going in.
- This goes against
almost all
my bus driver training.
- Oh, that's dangerous.
- Look at you.
Does this look like a man
who's making
the right decision?
- Absolutely not.
- I just think you seem to like
the nurse on some level.
- I do.
- You probably don't have
many options out there.
- I don't.
- I can't imagine you're gonna
be a big hit in Myrtle Beach.
- Probably not.
- All things considered,
I think you should turn around.
- Wow.
You are a wise little man.
- All right, let's--
let's go back and get married.
Oh, hey, Bus Driver,
we're all good here.
You can go home.
- Who's that idiot?
Did we invite him?
- I've actually been meaning
to talk to you about that.
There must have been
a mix-up with the invites--
- No time to talk.
Let's turn this thing around
so I can get married.
The stallion turns back.
- You're very easily swayed.
Did anyone ever tell you that?
[rock music]
- It really wasn't that bad.
- Actually, arguably,
this is the worst thing that
could happen at a wedding.
- Hello everyone!
Hey! I have an announcement.
I tracked down
the ice cream man.
The wedding's back on.
- Doug?
Oh my God, thank you, Tom!
Doug, come on out here.
- Oh, bad news, guys.
He left a note
- More notes? Come on.
"Sorry, Nurse, I bailed again.
"The half-hour alone in the car
with Tom made me realize
"I don't want to have kids.
He's got a lot of problems.
The stallion rides free.
Woot, woot."
[rock music playing on radio]
- Woot, woot!
- Way to go, Tom.
- Are all weddings
this stressful?
Because I'm not
enjoying myself at all.
- Remember
there's more road ♪
And places to go ♪
Patterns to contemplate ♪
More people to fornicate ♪
And remember
there's a lot of good omens ♪
Supplying the proof ♪
That our life
is the best joke ever told ♪
Remember it's a joke
and leave it alone ♪
Let go and try to be
always abiding ♪
Remember if there's
one good reason for dying ♪
The sweet silver lining ♪
Through you she lives on ♪
And therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪
Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪