The Big Door Prize (2023) s01e10 Episode Script

["GOOD DAYS" PLAYING]
[SONG STOPS]
[ELECTRICITY HUMS, CRACKLES]
So, Dad, is that like
a new puffin thing?
You gonna get Mom one
of those every year?
[LAUGHS] Do you know how long
it took him to win me this?
The kid said my form
was excellent. [CHOMPS]
- Sorry, what's the puffin thing?
- [CHUCKLES]
Okay. It was a cool
October night 23 years ago,
and a young Miss Cassandra
Hubbard was on her very first date
with the one such
Dustard John Hubbard
Wait, your name is Dustard Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard's fine.
And Dustard wanted to
play the Bust-a-Balloon
because he wanted to win
a stuffed puffin because
Well, 'cause Cass said it was cute.
Yes, and so he stepped right
up. And he threw dart after dart,
and he failed to puncture
even a single balloon.
Those games are basically rigged.
However, my dad
returned later that night
and paid off the kid who was
working at the Bust-a-Balloon
for every single puffin he had,
so that he could give one to my mom
every single year for her birthday.
And that's how sure he was
that they'd be together forever.
[BEAU] That is so sweet. But you
left out the best part, Trina.
I was operating the
Ferris wheel that night,
and your dad paid me 20
bucks to stop it at the top
so he could get a little
extra time with your mom.
So just, like, a light kidnapping?
- [LAUGHING]
- That's what it sounds like.
At the time it was known as romance.
I had totally forgotten
that was you that I paid off.
Well, guess I don't leave much
of an impression. [CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hey, you kids
wanna try the mechanical bull?
Looks like there isn't
a big line right now.
Do you wanna try it again?
No. [SIGHING] Man. I mean, I could
go again just to mess with people.
How's that messing with people?
Just because, you know, everyone thinks
I'm so obsessed with this cowboy shit,
I could lean into it.
- [CHUCKLES] As a goof. Yeah.
- Hey, well, I'll go with you, Mr. Kovac.
- All right, partner.
- Howdy.
- Let's do it.
- Giddyap.
- [BEAU, TRINA] Yeehaw.
- [JACOB] Let's go goof 'em.
- [TRINA EXCLAIMS]
- Have a good one, old buddy.
I cannot remember a single thing
about that guy from high school.
- Mm-hmm.
- Apart from the time
that he barfed at the botanical gardens.
You know, I remember that
story very differently.
- Why? Where do you think he barfed?
- No, the puffin story.
I never actually said that
I thought puffins were cute.
I think you did, Cass.
No, you said, "Aren't these
puffins cute?" And I said, "Yes."
Because, you know, I
wanted you to like me.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, there was really no need to
do that. I liked you from the start.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Yeah. Keep stirring, boys. I
don't want my noodles congealing.
Remember, it's mi famiglia,
not mi "congealia."
- Giorgio! Giorgio! How's it going?
- Hey, what's up, Nat?
It's going pretty great,
thanks. Yeah, it's no biggie.
- I'm just kinda worried about the storm.
- [NAT] Oh.
You know? I'm trying to make
this pasta pit for the kids.
And the spaghetti gets
very heavy when it's wet,
and I don't wanna
crush a child to death.
- [CHUCKLING] Yeah.
- You know? How you guys doing?
Oh, we're fabulous.
You remember my daughter
Savannah, from my ex-husband Mike?
Of course. I've actually been
meaning to talk to you, Savannah.
Why?
Well, at the gala, I heard you saying
that you didn't wanna go to France
just because you got "French."
And I want you to listen to me, okay?
- France could screw off. Okay?
- [NAT CHUCKLES]
I apologize for the salty language.
But as a man who was
pressurized as a little boy
to become a superstar hockey player,
I as Giorgio would like to know what
you as Savannah would like to do.
Well, I've actually
been getting into chess.
Chess! Yes, I love it.
Rooks and bishops and
following your heart.
That, Savannah, is the stuff
that superstars are made of.
[SIGHS] Well, there you have it,
from one superstar to another.
[NAT, GIORGIO CHUCKLE]
- [NAT] Giorgio.
- [GIORGIO] Hmm?
I just wanted to say that I heard
that Cass spurned your advances,
and for what it's worth,
she is probably the only
woman in the whole world
who would say no to you. [CHUCKLING]
Maybe the only woman in
the history of civilization.
- [NAT, GIORGIO LAUGH]
- If you wanna go back that far.
- I'm gonna go somewhere else, Mom.
- Okay, call me.
Sorry, Savannah still gets uncomfortable
when I flirt with handsome men
- [GIORGIO LAUGHS]
- who aren't her father in front of her.
I guess she doesn't
really want a stepdad.
Whatever happened with you and Mikey?
Oh, he was kind of a jerk.
He was also very hairy,
and I'm just not into that.
You know, I like to see a man's skin,
like even s-skull s-skin.
A bald man is very sexy to me.
Well, that is a very
interesting perspective
that you have there, Natalie.
- [NAT SIGHS]
- I am sure you're gonna make
a lucky bald man very happy one day.
- Mmm. We'll see. [CHUCKLES] Bye.
- Bye.
[GIORGIO CHUCKLES]
Okay, just to warn you,
- I am exceptionally good at this.
- Okay.
Like, I practice on the bottles
at Johnson's all the time.
- Yes! Did you see that? You saw that.
- You actually got that. Yeah, totally!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Well, now I feel bad.
No, no, we've had enough
feeling bad, and Thank you.
And look, you can't feel bad
because now you have this.
Sick. So how does this work?
I just come back here later
and buy enough of these
for, like, 30 years?
Yeah, because you know what
I'm looking for in a guy?
- Hmm?
- Someone who's exactly like my dad.
Oh, I thought you were looking
for someone like my brother?
Oh, shit. Okay, so we're
joking about that already?
Jokes are for always.
Okay, but seriously, like,
no offense to my parents,
but if I'm still with someone
who I met in high school,
like, 30 years from now,
I will literally throw myself
right off a cliff. [CHUCKLES]
So you won't be with me then?
[CHUCKLES] Like, 30 years from now?
Um, I don't know. Do you plan
on being with me in 30 years?
Like, this is our first real date, so
I know. It's just kind of an
intense thing to say on a first date.
Like, you know definitively that
you you don't wanna be with me.
Oh, it's not definitive.
Nothing's definitive.
But yeah, I'm, like, pretty sure I
don't wanna be with only one person
- for the rest of my life.
- [STAMMERS] Yeah. I totally get that.
It's just funny that after
everything we've been through,
to put that out there
right out of the gate,
to know that you're
already breaking up with me,
it's like, "Great. This
doesn't feel pointless."
[STAMMERS]
- [JACOB SIGHS]
- So
So something's pointless
because it ends one day?
[MOANING, BREATHING HEAVILY]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
- What?
- I'm sorry.
Um, do you mind if we just take it slow?
Hana, this is already the
most action I've had in years.
- We can take it as slow as you want.
- [CHUCKLES] Okay, perfect.
[CHUCKLES] Maybe next time
we do this at my place?
Okay, sir, you let
yourself into my bedroom.
[STAMMERS] I didn't
know it was your bedroom,
- okay?
- [CHUCKLES]
I just hope we can find
the guys who robbed you.
Okay, this is actually
a lot of stuff for me.
- Really? You don't want more stuff?
- No, I hate stuff.
It's like a hangover
from boarding school days.
They don't allow you to have
a lot of personal items, so
I didn't know you went
to boarding school.
Oh, really? It's usually the
first thing that I tell people.
'Cause I just love
when people look at me
the way that you're looking at me now.
What? Well, how am I looking at you?
Like I'm some privileged little
rich bitch snob or something.
I don't think you're privileged.
[SMACKS LIPS] Okay, there were
a few other words in there.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[STAMMERS] Well, maybe
being a boarding school girl
was just your arrow.
What do you mean "arrow"?
Well, the thing you needed to be told
about yourself to get to something else.
[CHUCKLES] That's what Dusty Hubbard
thinks the MORPHO's all about.
You're listening to Dusty
Hubbard now? [CHUCKLES]
[STAMMERS] I mean, look at me.
Even if that "Priest" card I found
wasn't meant for me, it saved my life.
It gave me a sense of purpose.
It brought me out of myself
and allowed me to move on
in a way that some random
potential never would.
I was alone, and I I had no
one, and that card brought me here.
It It led me
to you.
Right. [SIGHS]
What?
Um [STAMMERS] nothing. [SIGHS]
- I don't know. It's just
- What did I say?
I don't really like
the way you're, like,
rewriting your narrative here.
What do you mean?
You're, like, making me
a part of your sad story
- and expecting me to pity you.
- No, no, no.
And it's, like, you're talking
to someone who's actually alone
and has always been alone.
And And you saying that you
have no one when it's just not true.
Y-You had friends. You had family.
And even when you found
your card that night,
your father-in-law was
there supporting you.
So So please, don't [SIGHS]
- I never told you that.
- What?
I never told you I was
with my father-in-law.
[SCOFFING] Yes, you did.
How else would I know that?
Okay, well, this is this is so dumb.
I mean, why are we fighting about this?
I'm going to get a bucket because I
I actually don't really trust
that whole duct tape thing.
And you and I are gonna get drunk,
and we're gonna keep making out
like we're in middle school. Okay?
Okay.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[CASS] All right. So, shall we
get a roll of 50 tickets or
That's probably too much?
Hi. So how much for just
one ride on the Ferris wheel?
- How much is that?
- Just get the 50,
in case I wanna kidnap you again.
- [LAUGHS]
- I mean, why not? You can afford it.
Um, I'm-I'm sorry what?
I can I can afford it?
You know what, I w I
wasn't gonna say anything,
but I went to your gala, and
$100 is a lot for most people.
I mean I mean, I
guess not for "Royalty,"
but I am making eight
dollars an hour right now.
And if what your mom said is
true, and you're running a scam
Okay, hold on there now
- No, no, no, no. This is good.
- What?
I'm actually I'm
happy you said something.
Now, is your potential "Detective"?
No, it's "Tattoo Artist." I did Dusty's.
And you did a wonderful job, Liz.
Oh, okay, 'cause it feels like
you have it all figured out.
Yeah, 'cause my master plan
was to defraud this entire town
out of a few thousand dollars,
and then trick people
into thinking I was special
by building a machine
that says that I'm royalty,
which is a potential both
very fucking confusing
- And how did you put it, Dusty?
- Uh, completely unattainable.
Yeah, completely unattainable.
And all I had to do to get
everyone to go along with it
is to use all of my
computer engineering skills
to somehow manipulate this machine
into giving you and only you
a card that reads, "Tattoo Artist,"
which I'm guessing is a lifelong dream
that you've never
shared with anyone else?
Yeah.
Cass, maybe we should just
get the tickets and go?
Oh, okay. Attention! Attention,
everyone! It is I, the evil genius
who figured out the secret hopes
and dreams of everyone in this town,
and I used it against you.
And why?
Oh, to gain two dollars'
worth of quarters
and to sell some fucking
sweatshirts, of course. Duh!
You guys should bow.
- Cass. Cass! Cass!
- 'Cause I'm your queen. Yeah, I'm the
- What?
- [IZZY] Please don't do this here.
- Not at Deerfest.
- Okay, yeah,
because maybe we don't want witnesses
to what I'm about to do to you.
No witnesses. Excuse us.
Royal court coming through!
Good luck, honey.
I'm just gonna give the
mechanical bull a try.
Cass. Let's just get this over with.
Just tell me what an
awful human being I am
and how much I've wronged you
and make yourself the
victim, like you always do.
[EXHALES SHARPLY, GASPS]
What in God's name is this?
- It's a hug. It's called a hug.
- I don't need a hug.
I know. I know. You don't
need a hug. You don't need me.
Oh, Cass, don't be so dramatic.
I'm not being dramatic.
I'm just letting you know that
you hurt me too many times.
Oh, please. We've both said things.
That's what mothers and daughters do.
You know good and well that anything
I say, I'm just protecting you.
[GRUNTS]
You can let me go now.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[BREATHES SHAKILY] Cass.
Okay.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[REUBEN SIGHS]
You were there.
The night I found my card in
the gutter, you were there.
Why didn't you say something
when I met you here?
I didn't remember you at first.
I don't remember every drunk
asshole I kick out of a bar.
And the collar was new.
[CHUCKLES] You were the bartender.
And you were the asshole.
Getting wasted and picking a fight
with anyone who looked at you.
Hence the kicking out.
Then your father-in-law, he
came over and apologized to me,
and he said that you were
just passing through town
and wouldn't be back.
That you had just spread your wife's
ashes and you weren't yourself.
His daughter.
- What?
- It was his daughter too.
Yeah. So, I mean,
didn't really feel like something
I should just bring up, you know?
Like, "Hey, small world,
but I was there on the
worst night of your life."
- But you were working there.
- So?
So I was just passing through,
but you were working there,
which means you were in another
town where the MORPHO existed.
And you never brought it up.
So all this talk about, "Oh,
I don't need that thing,"
or "a couple of months from now,
no one's gonna be
talking about this "
Okay, well, y you never
told anyone about your card.
You kept that to yourself.
I had my reasons.
Yeah, well, I have my reasons too.
It's like I'm a person, you know?
It's like you wanna believe that
this card, like, led you to me.
And it's, like, y-you
don't even know me, dude.
I don't think anyone
here knows you, Hana.
Look, I don't have any answers for you.
You need to stop looking for signs.
- [SIGHS]
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- Yes! [LAUGHING] I got it.
- [LAUGHS] Stop it.
- [JACOB CHUCKLING] No. You're so small.
- [TRINA] I'm not Whatever. [CHUCKLES]
- [JACOB] Do you want it?
- [TRINA] Yeah.
[JACOB SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
- Hey.
- Hey.
What happened in there? Did
you Did you murder your mother?
- [CHUCKLES]
- I think I've got a shovel in the car.
I just gave her a hug.
- Wow. That is badass.
- [CHUCKLES]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
- Do you even wanna go on the Ferris wheel?
- Yes. [CHUCKLES] Yes, let's do it.
You know, you don't have to say
yes just because I wanna do it.
It's cold. It might rain.
Our bums might get wet.
I don't know. I think we'll survive.
Hey. How the hell do
you get out of here?
[CHUCKLES] I'm going in circles.
Isn't that the point?
- Useless. Useless generation.
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
- Hello?
- [CALLER] Is this Isabelle Fontaine?
This is Mayor Fontaine. Who's this?
[CALLER] This is Dr. Woods. Am
I catching you at a bad time?
Oh, I don't even know how
to answer that question.
What do you want?
[DR. WOODS] I'm here with Mr.
Johnson Walter Johnson,
and he's had a cardiac event.
What is a cardiac event?
What does that mean?
[DR. WOODS] He had a heart attack.
Well, is he okay?
[DR. WOODS] He is.
He's a little confused,
but I spoke with him a few minutes ago.
Well, why are you telling me this?
Are you just calling everybody in town
and telling them the news? [CHUCKLES]
[DR. WOODS] No. I'm I'm so sorry.
It's been hard to get clear
communication with him,
but I thought you might be his wife.
You thought I might be his wife?
Honey [CHUCKLES] Honey, I'm gay.
What on earth would make you think that?
[DR. WOODS] Well, he has you
listed as his emergency contact.
That's how I got your number.
He doesn't have anyone else?
[DR. WOODS] I guess not.
[DR. WOODS] Are you still there?
Can I speak to him?
[DR. WOODS] He's resting right now.
Where is he? Where He's
in w He's in the hospital?
[DR. WOODS] Yes, but he's
just been admitted, so
Tell him I'm coming.
[DR. WOODS] Okay.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
[TONE WAVERING]
[GROANS, INHALES SHAKILY]
Oh, shi Oh, shit!
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
[PANTING]
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
- [SIGHS]
- [THUNDER CRACKING]
Whoa, whoa. Shit, kid. What was that?
[CASS] Uh, Dusty, did
you do that? [CHUCKLES]
Did I turn off the
power in the whole town,
so I could get a few
minutes alone with my wife
on the top of a Ferris wheel?
No. No. Wish I'd thought of it though.
Okay. Are we, uh Are we good up here?
Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. We're fine.
I mean, we're just
we're just sitting in a
metal box suspended in the sky
in the middle of a
potential lightning storm.
- [BOTH] Hello? Oh!
- Hon. Uh
- Okay.
- That wasn't ideal, was it? Okay.
- Dusty, be careful.
- I'm all right. Hey, hey. Is, uh
Can Can anybody move this thing?
Is there a lever or something?
Hey, Dusty.
Hello, you.
- Who is that?
- Ah, nobody.
Just a [CLEARS THROAT] friend.
Did the power go out?
We were having sex.
In a moving Ferris wheel?
- Jesus Christ, Hawaii.
- Ah.
Can somebody help us, please?
Dusty, is that you?
Giorgio.
- Oh, D, I'm I'm gonna climb up there!
- Giorgio, no! It's too dangerous!
D, I'm coming for you right now.
I just gotta find I
gotta find something tall.
- You could use my bucket truck.
- Okay, thank you, sir.
But I don't think a truck
full of buckets is gonna help.
No, I work for the power company,
and-and my truck It has
a a bucket. It's a crane.
- Oh. Oh, like a cherry picker.
- Oh. [LAUGHS]
Bro, are you gonna tell me
you have a cherry picker?
- I call that a cherry picker.
- Cherry picker.
Here, take my keys.
Okay. Well, that was a bad throw, dawg.
That was a bad throw. Plus, it's dark.
- Or else I never would have missed.
- Giorgio, can you just go?
- [GIORGIO] Yeah.
- Thank you.
- [CASS GROANS]
- [SIGHS]
Oh.
- You okay?
- Mm-hmm. I just hope Trina's okay.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I saw
her with Jacob earlier.
God, she looked so happy. They both did.
And they look so fucking young.
- Oh my God.
- Oh, they're babies.
I mean, literal sweet-faced,
baby-faced babies.
[CHUCKLES] I don't remember
ever feeling that young.
[STAMMERS] I mean not not
even when we were that young.
Making choices that would
affect the rest of our lives.
Yeah, well [SIGHS] we were.
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- [CASS GROANS]
I don't know, Cass,
what it means if our arrows are
pointing in different directions.
I don't know.
And if my potential has something to do
with the last time we were apart,
maybe
maybe we should see what it
feels like being apart for a bit.
I mean, maybe your potential
is only completely unattainable
while you're with me.
But doesn't it feel like
we're supposed to find out?
[CASS EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CASS CHUCKLES]
Did you know that puffins
are monogamous? [CHUCKLING]
[CHUCKLES] Did you know
that puffins were monogamous?
Well, it was in some
book that you gave me
as, like, a stocking
stuffer or something.
And it said that the male
puffin and the female puffin
will go on separate journeys for
about eight months out of the year.
Just apart.
But somehow, they always find
their way back to each other.
But we're not puffins.
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
- I'm not scared.
- Oh, yeah?
At all. Yeah.
'Cause this is, uh this is wood.
And lightning hates wood, so
Also, now that the power's out,
we can fully make out in public,
and no one can give us dirty looks.
Or I can use this as an opportunity
to sneak off and leave you
- since we're gonna break up.
- [CHUCKLING]
Wow. [CHUCKLES] Okay, so
we're joking about that now?
Jokes are for always.
Yeah. Well, this is already more moments
than I ever thought I'd get with you.
So, I would say it's a
pretty big win for me.
Overall.
So when are we making out?
Um, right now.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Jacob!
Trina!
Jacob!
Hello? Help me!
- Who's that? Is there someone in there?
- [SIGHS] It's Mayor Fontaine!
Mayor Fontaine, are you all right?
No! I can barely see my hands
in front of my damn face,
and my darn knee is acting up again.
Okay. Don't panic.
- Who is this?
- It's Beau.
- Who is Beau? [SIGHS]
- [SIGHS]
He's the guy who's gonna
get you out of there.
[IZZY BREATHES HEAVILY]
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Okay, um, I'm gonna take D first
'cause he seems more scared.
- I am not more scared.
- [GROANING]
Just take Cass. Take Cass.
- Okay, Cassie. I got you. I got you, Cass.
- [SIGHS] Okay, okay, okay.
- [DUSTY] I've got I've got you.
- [CASS] Keep steady.
- [DUSTY] We've both got you. There you go.
- [GIORGIO] That's nice, Cassie. Nice.
- [CASS] Dusty, you got me?
- [GIORGIO] I got you.
- [DUSTY] Yep. Okay, sweetheart.
- [CASS] Okay.
I'm bringing you down.
[CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, my God, Giorgio! That was
amazing. We saved the town.
Hey, Nat. You know how you said
that Savannah doesn't want a stepdad?
Yeah.
[GASPING]
- How about a step-Giorgio?
- [SIGHS]
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
- [BEAU] Izzy, are you still there?
- Yeah?
Yes! What took you so long?
I'm sorry. They made me
leave this thing at bag check.
- What thing?
- This thing.
[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]
[GASPS] Oh, my God. Oh.
[GROANS] Thank you.
Oh. [BREATHING HEAVILY]
You're safe now, Izzy.
Wha What are you doing?
I c I can walk on my own.
I'd prefer to carry you, ma'am.
[SIGHS] Oh, come on then.
[GROANING, SIGHS]
It's starting to rain.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Hey, where are you guys?
We're passing Dear Izzy.
[TRINA] Wait, I see you.
- Huh? I don't see you guys.
- [TRINA] Mom! Dad!
[DUSTY] There she is. There she Hey!
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- [SIGHS]
What, uh W-What happened to Beau?
I don't know. We got separated.
Are you guys okay? [SIGHS]
- Yeah. Yeah, we're we're fine.
- Yeah.
We nearly got electrocuted,
- but we're fine.
- [CASS] Yeah.
What's that?
What does it say?
[DUSTY] "Are you ready
for the next stage?"
[MACHINE PRODUCES WAVERING TONE]
[HANA] It's never done that before.