The Garfield Show (2008) s01e10 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
[clattering and commotion]
You come back here with that, Garfield!
We were supposed to share that pizza!
Don't worry, I'll leave you the crust.
[Odie whines]
[Garfield] Come back with that pillow!
It's my pillow! I paid for it!
I'm the one who got cat hair all over it!
[Jon] Aah! A mouse!
Garfield, there's a mouse in the kitchen!
You were supposed to keep mice out!
[Garfield] I am! I'm eating
every last piece of cheese we have.
Boy, Jon and Garfield haven't been
getting along well lately, have they?
No.
And you'd like them to be friends,
wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Well, we gotta do something.
I can't live in a house
with so much bickering.
I'm a sensitive rodent.
And I think I got an idea.
Wanna help, Odie?
Yeah!
Okay, here's what you do.
But I gotta whisper
-We're going to watch the music show.
-We're gonna watch the monster movie.
-We're going to watch the music show.
-We're gonna watch the monster movie.
-We're going to watch the music show.
-We're gonna watch the monster movie.
-We're gonna watch the music show.
-Monster movie.
-The movie show.
-Monster movie.
-Movie show.
-Monster movie.
-Movie show.
-Monster movie.
-We're going to watch the music show.
-We're gonna watch the monster movie.
-We're going to watch the music show.
-We're gonna watch the monster movie.
-The movie show.
-Monster movie.
Are you and your pet not getting along?
Are the two of you always
quarrelling and bickering?
If the arguments in your house
are getting out of hand,
maybe you're just
what we've been looking for.
-Movie show!
-Monster movie!
-Movie show!
-Monster movie!
We have a new reality TV show
called Petmatchers.
Our mission is to match
the right pet and master.
Each week, we put one pet owner
and one pet through a series of tests
calculated to measure if they go together.
Last week, this woman came to us
with her dog, an obvious mismatch.
After our tests, she left with her new
perfectly matched pet.
-Gee, that sounds interesting.
-Gee, that sounds interesting.
We ought to go on that show.
They'll get tested, they'll realize
they're made for each other,
and no more arguing.
[yips]
That is if it works.
-Movie show! Movie show!
-Monster movie! Monster movie!
-Movie show! Movie show!
-Monster movie! Monster movie!
[perky theme song playing]
-[buzzer sounds]
-[man screams]
-[woman sighs]
-[dog snarls]
And now, back to Petmatchers
with your host, Chuck Yenta.
-Welcome back!
-[crowd applauding]
-We're testing this man, Jon Arbinkle.
-Jon Arbuckle.
Right. Jon Arbinkle, to see if he
and his cat Garfield are a good match.
I hope they don't expect me to sing.
[bell dings]
The computer has analyzed your likes.
Here are yours, Jon Arbinkle.
Ahem.
Summer days, friendly people,
walks on the beach, a good baseball game.
-Yep, that's me.
-[applause]
And here is what the computer
has determined as the likes of your pet.
-Beef lasagna, sausage lasagna,
-[audience laughing]
spinach lasagna, more beef lasagna
Did it mention lasagna? Smart computer.
[host] Let's see the other ways in which
you two are compatible or incompatible.
-Favorite way to spend the evening?
-[audience clapping]
Favorite sport?
-[snoring]
-[audience laughing]
Favorite hobby?
-[snoring]
-[scattered laughter]
[sighs] All this testing is making me feel
like I need a nap.
Mr. Yenta, have these tests enabled you
to determine my personality?
-Yes, you don't seem to have one.
-[applause]
But we have determined
that you and your cat Garfield are
-[drumroll playing]
-[Odie] Ohh
[Odie] Hmm?
-[buzzer sounds]
-Incompatible!
Incompatible?
[Odie sighs]
You mean Garfield shouldn't be my cat?
That is correct! But don't worry.
We've determined the ideal new pet for you
and the ideal new master for your cat.
-[applause]
-Me? Live with someone other than Jon?
Garfield Cat, your new owner is
[drumroll plays]
Freddie Applegate, age 9.
Where's my new kitty cat?
I want my new kitty cat!
-No!
-[applause]
-Kitty Cat!!
-[Garfield] Oh, my.
-But Garfield and I have always
-And Jon Arbinkle,
the ideal new pet for you
as determined by the computer is
-[drumroll plays]
-this frog!
[applause]
[croaking]
Are you sure the computer
didn't make a mistake?
Computers never make mistakes.
Now, go to your homes
and we'll have camera crews follow you
and report back on next week's show
how things are working out.
[Garfield] I already hate this.
[applause]
[Freddie] I'm gonna take you home
and we're gonna play Rocket to Mars!
[Odie whining]
Don't be sad, Odie. Our new friend will
fit into our lives and it will be good.
There you go, boy.
[croak croak]
I think that's all he does.
[Odie sighs]
Look at the bright side.
I'll bet Garfield's getting along great
in his new home.
[croak croak]
[Freddie] Kitty cat! It's time for lunch!
Did someone say lunch? You did say lunch.
Oh, boy, I'm going to like it here.
I'm having meat loaf
with mashed potatoes and creamed corn,
plus, for dessert,
I get ice cream with hot fudge on it.
What about the cat? What about the cat?
And you get a bowl of Kitty Crunchies.
[Garfield growls]
Ptooey!
Yuck! Ptooey!
Hey, if you think this is food,
you eat it.
[bell dings]
Ahhh!
You're gonna do what I tell you.
We're gonna play Rocket to Mars!
We are?
I don't think I'm going to like playing
Rocket to Mars!
Ready to blast off for Mars.
Three, two, one, blast off!
I was right.
I don't like playing Rocket to Mars!
[crash!]
I don't like it one [coughs] bit.
So, Froggy,
would you like to go for a walk?
Chase birds? Do anything?
How about kicking the puppy off the table?
My old pet loved kicking the puppy
off the table.
[croak]
[Odie whimpers]
[Jon sighs]
[croak]
This is the most boring pet in the world.
I'll bet things are more exciting
in Garfield's new home.
[Odie whimpers]
Now he wants to play cops and robbers
and I have to be a robber.
Oh! Where is that bad kitty cat burglar?
-[gasping] Oh, no, stop!
-I'm going to have to arrest him
and make sure he receives
the ultimate punishment.
This is the ultimate punishment.
Maybe he's hiding in here somewhere.
-When I catch him, he'll be sorry.
-I'm already sorry.
No, I guess he's not in here.
I'll go search around outside.
-[sighs] Boy, am I sorry.
-Gotcha!
But not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
The burglar is putting up a struggle.
He's trying to get away.
-A fine idea.
-He's making a break for his getaway car.
I am?
It looks like it's going to be
a high-speed police pursuit!
[Garfield screaming]
Help! Call the auto club! Help!
Jon never did this to me.
Plus, he made me lasagna.
[screams]
[crash!]
I I can't move. I can't move.
[Freddie] Where's my kitty cat?
I have another game for him!
Oh yeah! I can move.
I've got to get Garfield back in my life!
I've got to get Jon back in my life!
Garfield, you should come back
and be my loyal, devoted cat again.
Jon, I should come back and you should be
the guy who feeds me again.
Waaaaah!
[host] Well, that's what
our cameras recorded.
I guess this pet match just didn't work.
But things have all been straightened out.
Garfield and Jon are together again,
and Freddie has a new pet, too.
-We're gonna play Rocket to Mars!
-Waaaaah!
Hey! You come back here!
You're my frog now!
And meanwhile,
here's your faithful dog Odie.
Glad to see master and pet reunited.
And to thank you for letting Petmatchers
try to match your pets,
we have a nice gift for you.
Something edible, I hope.
Our computer has calculated what would be
the ideal vacation spot for you,
and we're going to send you there,
all expenses paid!
The perfect vacation spot! I can't wait.
The perfect vacation spot?
I thought computers didn't make mistakes.
-[Odie] Brr!
-Computers don't make mistakes.
Pets make mistakes.
M-M-My f-f-frog!
[Odie whimpers]
Don't look at me like that, Garfield.
The weatherman said, "clear and sunny
with highs in the low eighties."
It always rains when they say that.
What rotten luck.
My luck's been terrible lately.
[Odie] Aww!
[sniffs]
[thunder rumbles]
[Odie] Oooh!
-[Odie yips]
-[Jon] Good!
The rain's stopping.
I'm going to get in a little fishing.
Hey, great rainbow.
You know what's at the end
of a rainbow, Odie?
A pot of gold.
-[Odie] Really?
-Yeah.
At the end of every rainbow,
there's a pot of gold.
-And it's guarded by a leprechaun.
-Wow!
[Odie yipping]
[giggles] That mutton-headed mutt!
He actually believed that old fairy tale
about the pot of gold.
You know, he's going to be
finding it a long way
to the end of that rainbow.
[giggles]
[harp playing]
[Odie gasping]
Wow!
[humming]
Huh?
Me pot of gold!
Someone took me pot of gold!
It never fails!
Every time there's a rainbow,
another one of them treasure seekers
comes round!
[Odie straining]
[sighs] Odie will be back soon.
More bad luck.
He'll probably want me
to throw the stick or something.
I gotta get some sleep.
[snoring]
[Odie straining]
[Odie yips]
No, I do not want to throw
the pot of gold so you can fetch it.
[Odie whines]
He does that all the time,
"Throw the pot of gold so I can fetch it."
[laughing] It is! It is a pot of gold!
It's mine, it's mine, it's mine!
-Now then, who took me pot of gold?
-It's his, it's his, it's his!
[sobbing] Please, little kitty.
A leprechaun is nothing
without his pot of gold.
Please, please, please, give it back.
I could reward you.
I could give you anything you want.
Okay. I want two pots of gold. No, three.
And throw in a pizza, maybe some lasagna.
I sense you be needing a little good luck.
I can fix it so from now on,
that's all you'll be having!
Nothing but good luck!
[chuckles] Now you're using
your head, you are.
Here comes the good luck spell.
[mystical whirring sound]
[clang!]
[clang clang!]
Whoa! That didn't feel like good luck.
[clang!]
[Jon humming]
Oh, this is a waste of time.
The rain drove the fish
too far underwater.
Here, Garfield.
Reel my line in while I go get the car.
Why should I reel your line in? Why?
-[straining]
-Odie! I caught a fish! I caught a fish!
No, I think it caught me.
[splash!]
[panting]
[straining]
[thud!]
This still doesn't feel like good luck.
What a great catch!
Garfield, you are the luckiest cat
in the world.
[Garfield] If I'm so lucky,
how come I have a fish on me?
[Jon] I'll barbecue this up
for us right now!
[Odie yipping]
No, I'm not lucky.
For one thing, I can't eat a big fish
like that without tartar sauce.
And where are we gonna find
a hundred gallons of tartar sauce?
[pilot] This is Trans Tartar.
We're an air freight company
that specializes
in the transport of tartar sauce,
and I'm having engine trouble.
I repeat, where am I going to find
a hundred gallons of tartar sauce?
That stuff doesn't just fall from the sky.
[man] Read you, Trans Tartar.
Advise you lighten your aircraft's weight
by one hundred gallons of tartar sauce.
[pilot] Roger.
-[Odie yips]
-[incoming projectile whistling]
[Garfield] Huh?
-[crash!]
-I still don't feel very lucky.
[gasps]
-[Odie] Mmm.
-I feel like a mackerel.
Hey, maybe there is something
to this lucky stuff, Ode.
Like, if I were to decide
I wanted ice cream.
[Odie] Hmm.
[tires screech]
Whoa!
[slurping]
Mmm! This isn't bad!
It could use chocolate sauce.
[clang!]
I need to find a way
to turn all this luck into money.
In just a few moments,
we'll pick the winning lottery number
and some lucky soul
will win 30 gazillion dollars.
Thirty gazillion dollars?
This is my chance.
-I have my ticket, Odester.
-And the winning number is
-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-3.
-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-3.
What a surprise.
I'm coming to you
from outside the new mansion
that was just purchased
by Garfield, the gazillionaire cat.
The palatial home has 84 rooms,
more than half of which contain
nothing but lasagna.
What a terrific light snack.
Now, uh, where's my butler?
-[gong sounds]
-Will there be anything else, sir?
[doorbell chimes, knock on door]
Excuse me, sir. Someone is at the door.
I'll get it.
I haven't walked for a few days.
This being rich is great.
I'm so lucky to have all this luck.
-Howdy, Cousin Garfield!
-I'm not your cousin. Whoever you are.
We were so happy to hear
we had ourselves a rich relative.
We couldn't wait to all come here
and move in with you.
"All"?
-This is fine.
-Look, look here.
[cats chattering]
-[door rattling]
-[Garfield straining]
[doorbell rings]
That's the back door doorbell.
Who could that be?
Garfield Cat? I'm here to get you to
invest some of your 30 gazillion dollars
in my new business venture,
the electric yo-yo!
-A few billion and you could own this,
[clang!]
and then invest everything else you own
in my friends' business ventures!
-Invest in my business!
-No, mine!
Invest in my
[ah-ooga horn blows]
[businessmen shouting]
[sighs] Finally, I'm alone
and no one's after my money.
Mr. Garfield! I'm from the government,
and you owe taxes
on your 30 gazillion dollars!
-[screams]
-There's the state tax, the sales tax
-[screaming]
-a screaming tax
[needle scratches record]
Yaaaah!
[crash!]
Hey, while I'm down here,
I'll collect the sewer tax.
[clang!]
I need to get rid of all this good luck!
[man] There he is! Right there!
[crowd shouting]
[Garfield screaming]
I need to find ways to have bad luck!
Walking under a ladder is bad luck.
[man] Invest in my business!
[thud!]
-[Garfield] Breaking a mirror is bad luck.
-[glass shatters]
-Invest in my business!
-[Garfield screams]
Garfield!
What's the big idea, painting me black?
-Don't ask questions. Just cross my path.
-[Nermal groans]
Having a black cat cross your path
is bad luck.
[car crashes]
I must have gotten rid
of that good luck by now.
Well, I guess I'll get some lunch,
maybe a sardine sandwich.
-Oh, no! I still have my good luck!
-[Odie sniffing]
Odie! Do you remember
where you found that pot of gold?
[Odie] Hmm. Yeah! Yeah!
Take me there! Right now!
I have to get that leprechaun to take back
this good luck before it destroys me!
So, you want I should remove
the good luck spell, do you, kitty cat?
Oh, please, please, please!
You do understand,
if I take away the good luck,
I also take away the 30 gazillion dollars?
-Take it. Please.
-Have it your way, pussycat.
[clang clang clang!]
-Odie. I think my good luck is gone.
-[Odie] Mm-hmm.
There's one way to check.
Boy, I wish a couple of lasagnas
would fall from the sky.
[Odie's teeth chattering]
-It's gone.
-[Odie yips]
Come on, boy.
Let's go get a couple of lasagnas
the unlucky way, making Jon buy them.
He sure learned a valuable lesson,
that cat did.
Luck is what you make of it.
He got that, and me,
I got another 30 gazillion dollars.
I am so lucky!
Mr. O'Rourke!
I'm from the government, and you owe taxes
on your 30 gazillion dollars!
Let's see, state tax, nine gazillion.
-Sales tax, four million. Exhaling tax
-I'm so lucky, so lucky.
[leprechaun sobbing]
-[Odie yips]
-[Garfield chuckles]