The Great Indian Kapil Show (2024) s01e10 Episode Script

1
Good evening and welcome
to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
-Thank you! Please be seated.
Thank you!
Hi, baby!
-Hello!
-You are glowing today.
Thank you!
Did you swing by the duty-free zone
this evening? Which brand did you pick?
Shut up. I don't drink.
-Hey, I was talking about perfume!
-You
You gestured holding a glass.
So, I thought you
Not everything is meant for drinking!
Perfumes also come in bottles!
-Sure!
-The bottle is small in size.
I'm amazed we are still working together!
I say one thing,
she hears something different.
I will call Ginni and ask her
how much she understands you.
She understands me. Please.
We are husband and wife.
Even if she doesn't understand me,
I know that she understands me.
Actually, we're from the same field.
We have done theater together.
Once upon a time, I was her mentor,
urging her to embrace more drama.
And now, she tells me,
"No drama in my presence!"
Well, it's all about time.
Back then, she used to learn from me.
-Now?
-Now, I'm learning from her.
We're a very ideal couple, you know?
Nowadays, do you know what parents do
to arrange an ideal match?
-What?
-They match the birth charts for sure.
Along with that,
they match their professions too.
For example,
if the boy is a software engineer,
they look for a girl who is
also a software engineer
-so that they understand each other.
-Indeed.
And they understand each other so soon
that the software which should
have been developed after five years
is produced in a year!
They understand each other.
You know, athlete couples are the best.
Firstly, it's hard to pair them up.
If the boy is running after the girl,
she runs faster.
Finally, when he catches up to her,
she makes the man run.
"Go and get me some coriander.
Get me some yogurt."
If both husband and wife
are Kabaddi players,
they keep pulling each other's legs.
I have a friend who plays Kabaddi.
His wife used to be a Kabaddi player too.
She told me, "Paaji, there's a problem."
I asked her, "What happened?"
She said,
"We are unable to plan a family."
I asked her, "Why?"
She said, "In the evening,
when he comes to me wearing a loincloth,
he touches me and then runs away,
chanting the word Kabaddi."
Oh, God!
You know, if both the husband and wife
are doctors,
they understand each other well.
The wife will call once
and ask, "Hello, where are you?"
"I'm in the operation theater."
"Okay, focus on your operation."
-That's it.
-Indeed.
However, if the husband is a doctor
and the wife is in a different profession,
she won't believe it.
She will be enraged.
"What do you mean you are operating?"
"Why don't your operations ever end?"
"You were even operating
when my sister came from Canada."
"You were performing an operation
on my parents' anniversary as well."
"It's my brother's wedding today,
and you are still operating on someone!"
"Are you the only doctor in the world?"
"What do you even
have to do while operating?"
"You just have to tear the stomach open
and stitch it back up."
It enrages the man.
He says, "If that's the case,
why don't you perform the operation?"
Then the patient under anesthesia
wakes up and says, "No, doctor."
"You will stitch my stomach."
"But if your wife tears you apart,
who will stitch you up? You should go."
Baby, which one do I buy?
Green or yellow?
The green one looks good.
You like the green one?
I like the yellow one more.
Well, the yellow one is good too.
Buy that.
But you just said
that the green one is better.
You picked the yellow one
just because I mentioned it.
No Okay, the green one is good.
Buy the green one.
So, I always have to go
along with what you want?
You don't care
that I prefer the yellow one?
Baby, why do you want me to decide?
My choice is bad.
Your choice is bad?
I'm your choice, right?
Both of them are good. Let's get both.
-I don't want either!
-What?
Hello, guys.
-A big round of applause!
-Kapil sir!
Rajkummar and
Hi! Welcome! Welcome!
A big round of applause
for Janhvi Kapoor and Rajkummar Rao!
Welcome.
Before you arrived,
I was talking about the changes
a man and woman experience
after they get married.
After marriage, a wife's choice
becomes her husband's choice.
And such couples are ideal couples.
In Mr. & Mrs. Mahi,
Rajkummar Rao sahab
and Janhvi ji are playing one such couple.
A big round of applause for them.
-How do you like our airport?
-It's amazing.
I mean, it has gone international.
-Available in 192 countries.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-International.
-"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Bhai, does this airport
remind you of something?
When did you experience
your first ever flight?
Yeah. Actually, I took my first flight
very late in my life.
-I see.
-I was 21 or 22 years old.
I was going to the film institute in Pune.
Your first flight was six years
before mine. I was 27.
Oh, amazing!
So, you were going to Pune?
I was going to the film institute
in Pune to fill out the form.
I had a lot of fun.
First, we argued about
who would get the window seat.
But it was quite fun.
When there was turbulence,
we were afraid the plane might crash.
-You remember God at that time.
-Yes, absolutely.
Even if a person is an atheist
He remembers God at that time.
I won't ask Janhvi
when she took her first flight.
I'm sure she flew when she was a child.
Let me ask you a different question.
Have you ever traveled by bus?
Yes, I have.
Which bus was it?
There is a scene in Dhadak where I
In a film!
Normally, local trains in Mumbai are
We went together in a local train, right?
-Yes, correct.
-Was that for promotion?
-No.
-No, it was for travel.
-Was it a local train or a metro?
-A metro.
And I have traveled by local train.
On a school trip,
we took a local train to Hyderabad.
You went to Hyderabad for school trips?
We used to be taken to another corner
of the same city.
-If the school is situated here
-It would be some park.
They would take us to a park
far away for picnics.
We would unwind and bring out the chips.
That was our school trip.
We would eat and sit under the sun.
-It's fun traveling on a bus.
-Indeed.
When I used to do theater,
I used to travel from Gurugram to Delhi
for three years in crowded buses.
And it would be like this. You would
hold on to the bus with one hand.
If another vehicle passed by,
there was no guarantee of safety.
People would keep pushing.
It happens in local trains too.
I've experienced this ever since.
In Haryana Roadways
-Actually.
-you push people to get onto the bus.
Then you somehow manage
to get inside the bus. But it's fun.
Actually, he's right.
Janhvi, if you ever get a chance,
go to Andheri station.
You don't need to get on the train.
-Just stand.
-Just stand there.
People will push you in.
They'll push you out too.
Sometimes, you might end up
getting down a couple of stations later.
You two look quite lovely together.
In Mr. & Mrs. Mahi, they are playing
the role of a married couple.
Amazingly, both of them
share the same interest.
It's cricket.
Normally, it's the opposite. The husband
and wife have different interests.
For example, Archana ji
loves beating people up.
-Does Parmeet like being beaten up?
-No, Parmeet sir likes to wash clothes.
He doesn't really like washing clothes.
If he doesn't wash them,
he gets beaten up.
So, that's the case.
Rajkummar's wife, Patralekha,
is also an actress.
-Yes, and what a wonderful actor she is!
-Tell me something.
-Thank you!
-Indeed!
-Bhai, tell me something.
-Yeah.
Are there advantages or disadvantages
to being from the same profession?
I think there are benefits.
-Okay.
-Especially in our industry.
You know there is no time restraint here.
-Right.
-I was watching one of your episodes
in which Ginni mentioned she doesn't know
what happens once you leave home.
-Yes.
-So, trusting each other is important.
-Yes.
-It's an understanding.
If we were not in the same profession,
she would say, "You never come home."
"Is this a guest house for you?"
If you're in the same profession,
you can't lie easily.
After all, she knows what you are doing
and about the things
that can happen on the set.
"You didn't have time
to call me in nine hours?"
"Even I go on shoots. A camera
can't go on rolling for nine hours."
Janhvi, would you like to choose
a partner with the same interests as you?
The shikhar you are at right now
-Yes, Jahnvi!
-Are you happy there?
I mean, I
-What do you think, Jahnvi?
-Your fans want to know.
I'm very happy with the shikhar
I'm at in my life right now.
That's great! On that note,
I welcome you to the show!
Please be seated.
Bhai, did you always want to be an actor?
Or did anyone provoke you?
-Shah Rukh Khan sir provoked me.
-Okay.
I used to follow his journey.
I watched his films.
I used to think that a boy
from Delhi had reached new heights.
-I was always interested in acting.
-Okay.
Since the tenth grade, I've been certain
about pursuing this path.
It has always been my dream.
I enrolled in theater and film school,
followed by my move to Mumbai.
Then I struggled. And now, I'm working.
Janhvi, you Your mother, Sridevi ji,
was a legendary actor in this industry.
When you were younger, did you tell her
that you wanted to become an actor?
For many years, she made efforts
to steer me away from pursuing this path.
-I see.
-So, whenever I would dress up
and dance or act in front of the mirror,
she would always say,
"Do you know what my dream is?
I want you to become a doctor."
I would tell her,
"Yes, Mom. I will become a doctor."
"I will portray the role of a doctor
in a film."
So, you always knew
that you would become an actor.
Yes, and along the way,
I veered off course
because whenever I met someone,
they would say,
"Yes, you will become an actress.
You are Sridevi's daughter."
"You will surely become an actress."
That would infuriate me. I would wonder
why people were making decisions for me.
So, during that time, I acted in real life
by saying I wanted to be
a psychologist, and so on.
-But after everything
-So, did a psychologist convince you?
-Did they say
-I didn't get to that stage.
I've heard that someone
scammed Rajkummar bhai
by taking 10,000 rupees from him,
promising to make him an actor.
-Yes. Yes, in Delhi.
-Is that so?
Did you find him
after you became an actor?
No, I didn't. It was quite dramatic.
I used to cycle from Gurugram to Delhi.
I had read a newspaper clipping
about a show being made for Zee TV.
And I was in the 11th grade, I think.
I didn't know the difference between TV
and films. I just wanted to act.
I called and they invited me
to meet with them.
I rode my bicycle
all the way to South Extension.
It was a typical office.
The man there had a photo with everyone
from Gulshan Grover to Raza Murad.
I thought he knew everyone.
He got my photo shoot done.
He said it would cost me 10,000 rupees
for a photo shoot.
My mother borrowed money
and gave me 10,000 rupees.
He even got my photo shoot done
at Kalindi Kunj Park.
Then I got a call informing me
that I had been selected.
I was on my knees, thinking I had
made it in life and I was all set.
As I said,
I followed Shah Rukh Khan sir.
He went from television to cinema.
-Yes.
-So, I thought I was set for life.
After three days, when I went
to meet him, the place was empty.
That office was locked.
No one was there.
I asked the people around
what had happened.
They said, "Hey, what happened?
Are you here for acting?"
I said, "Yes."
They said, "Well, they ran away."
-Oh, my God!
-He turned out to be an actor too.
Absolutely.
This is your second film together.
In Roohi, she played a ghost.
-Yes.
-In this film, she plays your wife.
So, what
-Did she
-There isn't a lot of difference.
Did she scare you more
as a ghost or as a wife?
In Roohi, even though she
was a ghost, I was in love with her.
In this film, she is my wife. As you said,
she has played a ghost and my wife.
I love her a lot in the film. And I
-Ghost or wife?
-I got it.
Be it a ghost or a wife,
it's all the same when you're in love.
It's love. Hey, it's love!
I mean my love for her is the same.
In this film, Mr. and Mrs. Mahi
share a great relationship.
All the couples sitting over there
will be able to relate to it.
-It's the story of this era.
-Yes.
It's a beautiful, new-age love story,
and a family film.
It's a dream that we dream together.
Our tagline is, "Sometimes, you need
two people to fulfill one dream."
-So, we are those people.
-Wow, that's a very good
-description of marriage.
-True.
Janhvi, during Roohi, you had said
that you wouldn't work
with Rajkummar again.
Because, as always, those people
keep looking for a scandalous headline.
They asked me,
"Who would you never work with?"
I said Rajkummar Rao. I thought
our film would be promoted for free.
But later, I said that
I didn't want to work with him
because he is such a talented
and capable actor that
after working on a scene with him,
you realize that you are a novice.
That's not the case at all.
Now praise me!
That's not true. You must see
Janhvi's work in Mr. & Mrs. Mahi.
I think it's her best work to date.
-I would love to work with her again.
-Amazing.
-What happened?
-Dad, I won't go!
Wait.
She is crying
because of the melancholic music.
Why are you crying?
It's a rehearsal.
-A rehearsal?
-For what?
Actually, Archana ji,
I met an astrologer this morning.
He said, "You will meet
your sapno ka rajkummar today."
Yes.
-So?
-So, I'm scared
that I might laugh during my vidai.
So, I'm rehearsing
I
-Hi, Janhvi!
-Hi!
-Hi, how are you?
-I'm good. How are you?
Hi, Rajkummar. How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
First class. Do you know something?
This morning, an astrologer told me
-What?
-"You will meet your sapno ka"
Rajkummar!
Rajkummar!
Don't look at him like that.
-Mona, he's a married man. Hello!
-That's not a problem. I'm unmarried.
So, it's all right.
The way you are playing Janhvi's husband,
-in the same way, you can be mine as well.
-He did it while shooting.
Yes, you have to shoot with me too.
After the shoot, I myself am someone's
husband! Everyone knows that!
Listen to me. He's not your Rajkummar.
Just go and fly your plane.
-Kaps, we need a pilot for that.
-Why?
Do I fling the passengers
using a slingshot?
Their airline is so cheap.
People have so many complaints.
The other day, they had to land
in Dubai, but they landed in Thailand.
-A different country!
-Hey, it was because of the air force.
-Air force? What do you mean?
-Our plane flies using the force of air.
So, it went directly
to Thailand from Dubai.
Yes, what's the issue?
Both countries are known for their oil.
-Anyway, Janhvi, I love your films.
-Really?
-Yes. In Mili, you played Mili.
-Yes.
-You were stuck in it.
-Yes.
In Trapped, you were trapped
in an apartment room.
-Correct.
-I was also stuck because of an apartment.
-When did this happen?
-I was stuck with a rich man.
Yes, he told me that
he would buy me an apartment.
-Yes.
-After that, we went on a trip to Goa.
I went clubbing with him.
After that, I told him,
"Buy me an apartment."
He said, "Sure.
1 BHK is worth 1,5 crore rupees,
and 2,5 BHK is worth 3 crore rupees."
He turned out to be a broker!
This is a big problem.
There is no one for poor people like us.
You see, I'm a woman.
Even I want
I want someone to love me.
I want to meet my prince charming.
Oh, my.
Khuda Hafiz.
Stop it. I'm at the edge!
What are you doing?
What has happened to you?
The same thing that happened
to Romeo because of Juliet.
Oh! So, were you beaten up too?
You are so naive! Just wait a minute.
Let me tell you that I'm Chef Dhaniya Lal.
Normally, I cook for our guests.
But today,
I have made something for Mona.
-Oh, my.
-Is that so?
What did you make for me?
Mood.
I'm in the mood to marry you.
His expressions clearly suggest
that he is in the mood for a honeymoon.
Dhaniya Lal, does this mean you had
bad intentions toward me all along?
-You had bad intentions toward me?
-Hey, what are you saying?
I've never had any
lecherous intentions toward you.
Well, then you should!
A man has lascivious thoughts
about his girlfriend.
Rajkummar ji, I have
looked at girls like this.
However, if you teach me how to look
at them in a different and coy manner
-Sure.
-How do I look at her coyly?
-In a different manner.
-So, you want to look at her coyly.
-Come, let's try.
-Yes, please. Let's try.
Firstly, the girl should be worthy
of being gazed at.
-Well, anyway, let's assume.
-Let's assume.
Let's assume that this boy
I mean this girl
-is worthy of being gazed at.
-Okay.
But be respectful.
-That's important.
-Look at her but be very respectful.
-Respectfully.
-You can mix love with respect.
Okay.
Then add a little passion.
Then go near her
and look into her eyes.
Don't do that.
Listen, what did you write in that film?
-Which film? Right.
-"Oh, lady! Come tomorrow."
If you keep gazing at me,
I won't be able to stop myself!
-Try now.
-I have learned it.
-Go on
-Let me see.
-Thank you!
-Don't worry. All the best!
When he looked at me,
I got butterflies in my stomach.
Your gaze is giving me
acid reflux. Really.
What is this?
But you know, as a girl,
I can't break his heart.
It doesn't feel right.
Dhaniya Lal, come here.
Listen up. If you loved me,
why didn't you ever tell me?
You never understand!
I told you so many times.
Once, I gave her a rose,
but she gave me 25 rupees in return.
Who gives a girl a rose
at a traffic signal?
I thought you were selling it.
Mona
I swear I can do anything for you.
Can you do anything for me?
Now, get up for me.
Get up without any support.
Wait a minute.
Janhvi, did you see that?
Everyone has a different fate.
One is fated to be with Pahariya
while the other is fated
to be with this rotund man!
Yeah! There you go. I got up.
Janhvi, this is my first time talking
to a boy, and I'm finding it difficult.
Could you talk to him,
pretending to be my sister?
-So, do I test him?
-Yes.
-Unbelievable.
-What is your educational qualification?
-Well, I
-You need not ask about his education.
It's not a big deal.
A man should have skills.
Yes, how many properties do you own?
I'm not a wealthy man.
I don't have anything special.
Well, I don't like him that much.
No?
Yes, but before his death, my grandfather
left behind land worth two crore rupees.
He seems to be good-hearted.
I don't own it.
It was bequeathed under my uncle's name.
Even a goat has a good heart.
It's not a big deal.
Since my uncle has no children,
he sees me as his son.
I can't marry a goat.
I have to marry a man.
The day before yesterday,
my uncle lost that land in a gamble.
When the man is not good enough,
you might as well marry a goat.
Yesterday, when he gambled again,
he won double the amount.
Just tell me whether
you have the property or not!
-Do you have the land?
-I have the land. I do.
-Where is it?
-Well, here's the deal.
You see, it is 5000 feet under the sea.
Was your grandfather an octopus?
Are you some kind of shrimp?
Or am I a mermaid who can live underwater?
-You're talking nonsense!
-I'll get the water drained. It's not
Rajkummar, let me tell you.
If he does own a property,
I will have to marry him.
-I'll take your leave.
-No, listen to me!
I can do it. It's not a big deal.
This is your second film together
and you must have observed
each other a lot while working together.
Our viewers have sent some questions.
Let me mix them up.
Otherwise, it may seem rigged.
This is the first note.
"Rajkummar, what is
Janhvi's hidden talent?"
I think, in real life, she is very funny.
And it's nice to see her display,
as we say around here, tomfoolery.
Can you tell us about
Rajkummar's hidden talent?
He is so talented
that I don't think anything is hidden.
Many times, when an actor
arrives on set, especially myself,
I always memorize
the dialogues beforehand.
If any change is made on the set,
I get very flustered.
But he just needs a second.
I still remember this.
-In Roohi, I think there was a monologue.
-Yeah.
And they had just printed the scene
five minutes ago,
and I think he had not seen it.
He just saw the scene for a second.
"Okay, ready. Take."
He enacted it fluently.
It was an emotional scene,
so he started crying too,
while I was lying on his lap like a corpse
for the entire scene.
I kept glancing at him sneakily
-wondering how it was happening!
-How it was happening!
"What is something that he always
keeps in his vanity van or his bag?"
Yes, you bring your cooker
along in your van, right?
-A cooker?
-A cooker?
It's not a pressure cooker.
It's a steam cooker.
I use it to cook quinoa or red rice.
-Yes.
-Do you cook it there?
Yeah. I cook it right outside
my vanity van.
-That's the secret behind your fitness.
-Yes.
Raj!
Is there anything
that she always carries?
She always travels
with her Pilates equipment.
Many times, when I'd go
to the hotel gym to work out,
I'd see Pilates equipment
set up over there.
-Oh, wow!
-She's a fitness freak. We all know that.
Is that so?
I thought Pilates was a type of food.
That's all I've ever seen.
Pilates!
Janhvi, what does Pilates entail?
Basically, there is a machine.
You can use it
for all types of exercises.
-Okay.
-It's good for your joints.
It's a big machine.
How do you carry it around?
It goes in the truck with other things.
Yeah, okay.
She sends it
in the production department's truck.
She sends it beforehand.
Sometimes, she herself
arrives here in the truck!
"What irritates Janhvi the most?"
I think bad food.
-Bad food?
-She loves to eat.
You don't seem to be someone
who eats more than one meal a day.
Pilates.
She loves to eat,
but she exercises as well. Nice!
Okay, you are playing a married couple.
Even if it's in a film, people start
recognizing each other's signals.
I will give you a few props.
She will show them to you.
She won't know about them.
You have to see them
and enact them for her.
-Okay.
-Bring in the props.
Bhai, you will pick up a board.
You won't see its contents.
-Correct, Janhvi will.
-Show it to the audience
-and Janhvi.
-And Janhvi.
Janhvi, you have to explain
the contents of the board to him.
I have to explain, so
-It will have names of dishes.
-It's like dumb charades.
-Dumb charades
-Yes, like dumb charades.
This is going to be difficult.
Yes!
It's a food.
One word. Half.
We're breaking the word.
The second half.
Ghost? Fear?
-Ghost?
-No!
Don't put this enactment in the trailer.
First half. Hungry?
Demon? Gorilla?
No, something similar.
-Similar to a gorilla? Monkey?
-No.
What is it called?
Cuddle? Puppy? Dog?
I know what she's doing.
Child? Baby?
Which animal?
Monkey, dog, gorilla,
horse, crow, cow!
It's a huge animal.
It lives in the wild.
-Lion? Bhaloo?
-Yes!
-Bhaloo!
-Yes.
-Bhaloo. Okay.
-Now, the second half.
-Balushahi!
-Yeah!
Not bad!
-Oh, no!
-What is this?
-Explain it in gestures!
-What is this?
-This is a dish.
-Gujarati.
-It's a Gujarati dish.
-Okay. Anyway, one word.
One word. A food item.
Ghanti? Lots of bells.
Ghanti? Ghanta?
Plural.
Ghante?
See.
Me? I'm a girl.
There are many girls. Girls?
Plural? Ghantiyan?
-Ghantiyan?
-Yes, correct! Ghantiyan.
-No.
-It's ghantiyan.
Look, it's "gan-thi-ya."
Very good clueing. But this is ganthiya.
-But, Janhvi, don't you know ganthiya?
-No.
-You must have had it some time.
-The picture
-Raj
-Show me the picture.
-Ganthiya.
-Oh, yes, my dad eats them
and I keep throwing them away.
But nicely done. "Ghantiyan."
-Whose turn is it now?
-It's his turn.
-The reaction was huge.
-Show it to me.
Two words. First word.
Sona? Sohan halwa?
Soan papdi?
-First word.
-First word.
He keeps sleeping?
-It's one word.
-Okay.
-Soya?
-Yes!
Yes!
Soya beans?
-No, second
-Soya chaap?
Yes!
What is it now?
-Yes.
-Why am I getting such names?
Show it to me. I have never had this.
One word. A food item.
Dandiya?
Dhokla?
-Where am I from?
-Gujarat.
-Yes.
-Yes. So, dhokla?
-No.
-Fafda?
Thepla?
Yes, I knew you would do this!
-Shah Rukh sir?
-No.
-Shah? Rukh?
-Yes.
-Khan?
-Yes.
Khan.
-"Khan". And the second half?
-The first half.
-Janh-vi.
-Yes, Janhvi!
-Khandvi!
-Yes!
It's a Gujarati dish.
Dhokla?
Khandvi?
Why didn't I watch 3 Idiots properly?
Dhokla, khandvi
Yes!
What am I using to breathe?
Fefda?
-"Fefda!"
-Fafda!
-Fafda!
-Fefda.
-Okay, the last one.
-Last one.
-Nice! I love it.
-Nice!
Two words.
-Second word.
-Second word.
Bhangra?
-Balle, balle?
-Yes.
Yes!
Aarti? Dahi?
-Dahi bhalle!
-Yes!
-Superb!
-Wow!
-Both the teams have the same points.
-Good clueing and good guessing.
-Very good.
-Okay, all of you know
that Janhvi has a great fan following.
Wherever she goes,
be it a gym or anywhere else,
the media follows her a lot.
"Janhvi ji, look here.
Janhvi ji, over here."
One man didn't even have a camera.
He said, "Janhvi ji, here."
She looked at him and he went
He took her photo with his eyes.
Janhvi, have you ever been offered
free gym access?
Maybe they offered you free workouts
with the condition
that they would charge double
to those who join because of you.
-I'm sure you get such offers.
-I don't know about double the fee,
but the gym I go to
provides me with free training.
Recently, we saw your video.
When Rihanna came to India,
you were dancing with her on "Zingaat."
-Yes.
-Did you tell her the meaning of "Zingaat"
or did she think it was some seafood?
-Jhinga!
-Right?
No, I had an amazing interaction with her.
After her performance,
she came down to meet all of us
because she wanted to join the party.
So, when she came down,
all of us started shouting,
"Rihanna! Rihanna!"
-Then she pointed at me.
-Wow.
And she started walking towards me.
I was scared,
wondering if I had done something wrong.
-What did she say?
-And then she said,
"I see you on Instagram all the time."
-Wow!
-I was like, "Me?"
And then, she was like
She said, "Yes, you are so hot!"
"And the way you wave"
She imitated my wave.
I wondered, "What is happening here?"
I wanted to go home! I was done!
After that,
nothing better could have happened!
How much could I have danced?
What else could I have done?
Then my friends told me
to take a picture with her.
I went to her timidly and asked,
"Can I take a photo?"
And at that moment,
"Zingaat" started playing.
-So, I told her this is my song.
-Your song.
And she said, "So then dance!"
So, we danced, and that video was made.
Amazing.
She must have asked, "Where is Kapil
when the entire world is here?"
-She was looking for you.
-Bad luck for her.
-Bhai, you have shot many films in India.
-Yes.
When you got an offer
from Dharma Productions,
did you put your sweaters out in the sun,
thinking you would go to Switzerland?
Did you think about it for an instant?
I thought about it. I imagined
that I'd wear a chiffon saree
-You?
-and dance in the snow.
Well, if it can be done on your show,
we can do it too, right?
I've never seen you in a film
where you would disembark
from a chartered plane
on a beach, sunbathing
with cigars and wine lying around.
We would like to see you play
-such a character.
-In The White Tiger, didn't you
No, there was no chartered plane in it.
-Hollywood
-No chartered plane!
You see, I tell the stories
of ordinary people.
Janhvi, you have got
your perfect partner in the film.
There are some crazy young men here.
They believe they deserve
an opportunity to impress you.
Only if you approve of it.
If you allow me, shall I call them
-to take part in this svayamvara?
-One hundred percent.
Come on, whoever wishes to.
Hello.
Okay, listen up. You are here
to meet our princess, Janhvi.
So, you should feel the same.
You have to act royal. Okay?
Whoever puts on the costume first
will propose to her first.
One! Two! Three! Four!
Welcome, Your Majesty!
-Your Majesty
-Hi, Janhvi.
Hi.
You can't go near her
until the svayamvara concludes.
Your Majesty, stand there and speak.
Tell us. Where are you from?
What is your name?
-Which
-Hi, Janhvi.
-Hello.
-I'm Anshuman.
-Nice to meet you.
-Anshuman.
Which empire are you from?
Where are you from?
-Indraprastha, Delhi.
-Oh, wow!
Yeah. So, the meaning
of my name is "sun's first ray."
So, I will be the sun
and you will be the ray.
How sweet.
Did someone tell you to say this?
Or did you think of it on your own?
-What do you do?
-I'm a banker.
And I'm ready to deposit Janhvi's heart.
Oh, wow!
How will you keep our princess happy?
So I cook good food. And as
Rajkummar sir also said, you love food.
So, we will be a perfect match.
-Will you make me laugh?
-Yes.
-How? Tell her a joke.
-How will you make her laugh?
I don't know how to tell jokes, sir.
Then how will you make her laugh?
You can't tell jokes? Do you sweat or not?
Would you lend me your jacket
-if I'm feeling cold?
-Yes, sure.
-He's wearing a borrowed one himself.
-Give it to me. I'm cold.
-Stand here. Go ahead.
-I could have put it on myself.
Thank you.
No, this is enough.
-This looks nice on you.
-It's looking really cool!
Anshuman, I am rejecting you
with a minus zero!
You can forget about her.
Come. Welcome, Your Majesty!
Come over here. How are you?
Did you attach the sword or is it stuck?
That sword is as sharp as wit.
Handle it with care,
or it might give you a pointed argument!
Ma'am, I can do anything for you.
I can even knock out 50 push-ups.
-Shall I?
-Fifty push-ups?
However many you'd like.
Is she looking for a husband
or a trainer?
-I can do everything, sir.
-Even she can do push-ups.
She practices Pilates.
Then make me laugh.
-Make you laugh?
-Yes.
I just
There you go. You laughed, ma'am!
Prince, you didn't tell us your name.
I am Prince Aryan Motwani.
What do you do? You didn't tell us.
I'm a prince. Why would I work?
-Hey, don't I work?
-Sir
Sir, you're a more prominent figure.
I'm a student.
I just finished 12th grade.
First, finish your graduation. Come on.
Come on.
Firstly, greetings to you, Janhvi ji.
-Greetings.
-Greetings, everyone.
-I'm from Gwalior.
-Gwalior?
Gwalior, Madhya Pradesh.
And my name is Ishant Niruti.
-Are you trying to woo him or me?
-Ishant.
-You. I'm done talking to him.
-You've just been looking at him.
Kapil sir will support me, ma'am.
Don't you think it's too late
for you to get married?
-I'm available.
-You should have married thrice by now.
Well, kings marry multiple times.
How will you keep our princess happy?
-I'll take her on a trip abroad.
-She has already had many trips.
I'll take her on more trips.
-How many countries have you been to?
-Four countries.
-Which ones?
-Malaysia, Indonesia,
Thailand, and Asia.
Princess, what would you like to say?
Think about it.
I will take you to foreign countries.
He disapproves of you.
Who is he? You tell me.
-Wow, you are lovely.
-Yes.
-Go over there.
-You are humorous.
-Go there.
-Okay.
Your Majesty, I have recognized you.
You are the paper boy from Kandivali.
-Your Majesty, what is your name?
-Prince Chirag.
Prince Chirag,
who shut your mouth with a lock?
Tell us what you will do
I'm from the empire
of Kathiawar, Gujarat.
-Oh, wow.
-You're from Gujarat.
Your Majesty, what do you do?
I'm a CS, and I'm studying LLB now.
How will you keep our princess happy?
I will manage all her financial matters.
-In the family, we have a CA, MBA
-So, you are eyeing her money!
Princess, will you
decapitate him or shall I do it?
Is he your army commander or a soldier?
Her family has entrusted me
with the responsibility of caring for her.
I should prevent impish kings
from reaching her.
Tell us more.
-This is enough for today.
-I see.
Only one king is left.
Are you two from neighboring kingdoms?
No, no.
Hello, brother.
-Hello, Janhvi.
-Hi.
My name is Hrithik. Hrithik Kajrolkar.
I'm not a prince, but a Maratha at heart.
I live in Ghatkopar, and here's
what I want to say to you.
Are you a Netflix show?
-No.
-I can binge-watch you all night.
All the insolent kings here,
let me tell you something.
Our princess doesn't
want to get married now.
You can take your empires and scram.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, brother.
Bhai, because my name is Kapil,
people used to tease me at school.
When I would enter the class,
my teachers would say,
"Oh, Kapil Dev! What are you doing here?
Go to the stadium and play."
"Why are you wasting
both your time and ours?"
Has any teacher of yours ever told you,
"Rajkummar sahab, why are you here?
We would have come to you."
Did they do that?
People tease others based on their names.
-Did they tease you?
-They do.
As a child, I was never happy
with my name because it's old-school.
-Right.
-My grandfather had named me.
Gradually, it turned into Raj.
I think
Well, thanks to Shah Rukh sir
for playing these characters
named Raj Malhotra, etc.
I used to say,
"Actually, my name is Raj."
It's Raj.
I used to tell the girls in my school,
"Please call me Raj."
Not because of my name, but a teacher
had once asked me something.
-I was quite weak in mathematics.
-Same here.
In the tenth grade, I divorced myself
from mathematics books,
vowing never to let them
enter my life again.
There was no option back then.
-Right.
-You had to study it.
In the 11th grade, I opted for commerce
and had a subject called accounts.
So, mathematics was back in my life!
No one had told me that I had
to score well in accounts too!
We had to score well.
Also, I was not good at accounts.
So, the teacher said it once.
I used to do theater at school.
One day, the teacher singled me out
as I had not done the homework.
He told me to stand up.
We had a male teacher
and he was quite strict.
He said, "Tell me something."
"Do you want to study
or pay attention to acting?"
I told him that I wanted to be an actor.
He said, "Okay. For two years,
I won't say anything to you."
"Score 40 marks to just pass the subject."
Right?
"An actor who failed
in the 12th grade won't be good."
I told him I would score that many marks.
So, I scored exactly 40 marks in accounts.
Your film Mr. & Mrs. Mahi
is based on cricket.
We have a cricket expert here.
-Really?
-Please call Sidhu paaji.
Sidhu paaji?
-Yes.
-Wow!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
THE GAME IS HERE
Come on.
Come on.
The padding!
Wow!
-Hey!
-Paaji, why are your hips so soft?
It's a mini sofa set.
-Hello! How are you?
-Good.
-Hello! Oh, hello!
-Paaji, greetings!
How are you?
-I'd like to recite something.
-Please go ahead.
It went
Play the tudum!
Play the tudum! Play the tudum!
Play the tudum so loud
That Pablo Escobar from Narcos
The neighboring show on Netflix
Also comes to know
That a sardar from Amritsar is here!
His arrival created great chaos!
Paaji, it didn't rhyme this time.
Oh, yes!
You know, there's this medicine
for rhyming.
Poetrymycin, 40 mg.
I think forgot to take it.
-Do you take medicine for that?
-There's medicine for rhyming.
I need to take it.
All right, let me sit. Wait.
May I sit? Can I sit here?
Can I sit? Okay?
Look, these are called etiquettes.
Look.
No, listen to me. Listen up.
These are called etiquettes.
I saw an empty chair.
I sat on it after asking for permission.
But there are many people who sit on
an empty chair without seeking permission.
So, I tell the jokes I like
I don't listen to anyone
After all, I'm not anyone's slave
Your poetry still didn't rhyme.
Yes. Today, I'm unable to rhyme at all.
Hello, Shanty?
Check the car's backseat.
Did I leave my rhyming there?
I am trying, but I'm unable to rhyme.
I have been trying for so long.
Look! Without rhyming,
I can't recite poetry.
Otherwise, I will be late!
My rhyming is nearby.
It's nearby. I think it's right here.
I found it.
Sir, start the game soon.
They have to leave too.
All right. This is the game.
Yeah, actually, I am the game
and sports controller from Netflix.
I handle all the games.
Can I ask for the set-up, please?
So, the game is called JDNWIDUW!
Such a long name!
This is the abbreviation.
Here's the full name. Look.
The full name is
"Jawab Dega Neeche Wala
Inaam Dega Upar Wala."
A round of applause!
And I must tell you
something about this game.
Janhvi, this game was established
in the year 1924
by my great-grandfather.
It has been 100 years since
this game was established.
-Have you been playing it for 100 years?
-No, we're playing it for the first time,
but it was established 100 years ago.
-Why didn't you play until now?
-No one was interested.
No, that's not it.
I'll tell you the reason, Archana ji.
-The game's rules were being established.
-Okay.
What are these rules that took
three generations to be established?
-The first rule is that
-Yes?
you can't ask us about
the time taken to establish the rules.
-What is this?
-This is the second rule.
I see.
You can't ask me the question,
"What is this?" That's the second rule.
-Okay, paaji.
-And the third rule is that
you must remember the first two rules.
-Okay.
-The fourth rule is
to remember the third rule.
The fifth rule is
to remember the fourth rule.
The sixth rule is
to remember the fifth rule.
The seventh rule is
to remember the sixth rule.
Like this, we have 27 lakh rules.
Twenty-seven lakh!
Let's start the game.
No, let me tell you
all the 27 lakh rules.
No, I don't want to know.
-But the rules
-No!
-Just listen to them.
-Let it be, sir.
Why are you interfering then?
This is the first round.
This question is related to cricket.
Get me a bat.
I called him from here,
and he came from there.
So, it's a cricket-based question.
You have to answer it.
"There are six girls
standing near a golgappa stall."
Wait, how is this related to cricket?
It is written on a cricket bat, right?
-So, it's a cricket-based question.
-Of course.
It's written on a bat!
"There are six girls
standing near a golgappa stall."
"Which girl will receive
the first golgappa?"
-Option one.
-Yes.
The one who says,
"Please, bhaiya. Give it to me first."
-Yes.
-Option two. The one who says,
"Bhaiya, I'm your regular customer."
Option three. The one who says,
"Suresh, give it to me."
Or option four, the one who says,
"Bhaiya, what is your Instagram ID?
I will tag you."
-Option three.
-Option three.
-Everyone else called him "bhaiya."
-Yes.
She took his name.
"Suresh, give it to me first."
That is absolutely right!
Come on, applaud!
Applaud!
Jawab Dega Neeche Wala
Inaam Dega Upar Wala!
All right, throw down UK 9, number 4.
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
Paaji, is it for me or Janhvi?
You can wear the left one,
she can wear the right one.
-Okay.
-Then both of you can walk like this.
Let's move on to round two!
Bring it.
Here you go.
You need to toss the rings
so they land around my finger.
Come on. Go ahead.
Is it my turn?
Well, it was great! Well done! Amazing!
Well done.
Well done.
Next. Try again.
Why did you call him?
Applaud!
All right. Come on.
This is great!
Amazing! Well done!
Come on.
Janhvi has won this round!
A big round of applause!
Throw down ladies' number 4!
Hurry up!
Throw down the correct box.
This is the wrong one.
Throw the next one. This isn't right.
Okay, this one's a great pair.
It's new on the market and selling
like hotcakes. You will love it.
This one has a durable sole.
Come on.
-Okay.
-Paaji, will Janhvi wear this?
If someone annoys you,
whack them with it! Okay?
Okay, I'll take your leave now.
It's all done.
Please pay attention.
Rajkummar Rao and Janhvi Kapoor,
please proceed
to boarding gate 20A immediately.
Janhvi and Rajkummar,
thank you so much for coming.
-Thank you.
-You have our best wishes
for Mr. & Mrs. Mahi,
as well as all your future projects.
I hope you liked our show.
-Yes, it was fun.
-We had a lot of fun.
It was amazing as always.
Thank you so much.
Please keep visiting us.
Guys, you can watch Mr. & Mrs. Mahi
at a cinema near you.
A big round of applause for our guests!
See you next Saturday at 8:00 p.m.,
only on Netflix.
Thank you. Good night! Sweet dreams!
Please welcome Mary Kom,
Sania Mirza, Saina Nehwal!
And a big round of applause
for Sift Kaur Samra!
You are here for the first time.
Please punch him once.
Whose face did you break as a child
that your parents thought
you would become a boxer?
Kapil ji, if I tell you the truth
Just joking.
The husbands of female boxers
are usually polite.
Are they naturally polite
or made to be polite?
They are made to be!
Like San Sania Saina Nehwal said
I mean
Gosh! Saina and Sania!
I got confused!
Sania, you have won
so many gold medals.
I'm sure you don't shop
for gold jewelry when you travel.
No, we just wear gold medals.
Are you crazy?
Sania, were you my elder
sister-in-law in a past life?
Saina ji, I'm a big fan of yours.
-Her fashion sense is great.
-Is that so?
She's dressed in a net-like outfit. Wow!
In an interview,
Shah Rukh Khan sahab said,
"If a biopic on Sania Mirza is made,
I would like to play her love interest."
Now, I need to find a love interest first.