The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e10 Episode Script

What are you doing? Increasing the blood flow to my brain.
I can see up your nose.
It's not pleasant.
I have to write an essay for a school I'm applying to, and it has to be perfect.
- What have you got so far? - A headache.
Why are you so hung up on getting into some private school anyway? It's not some private school.
It's Pennington Academy, the top school in New Orleans.
Their Creative Writing Department is the best in the country.
Really? Yawn.
They also serve Tater Tots every Monday.
I'm listening.
So how's the big essay coming? It's not.
I don't know what to write that's going to set me apart.
Oh, Sweetie.
I know how much you want this, but the worst thing you can do is put pressure on yourself, so just write something.
Because we have to turn in the essay by the end of the day, which by my watch is in three hours.
We cannot miss this deadline! Again, no pressure.
You want my advice? Just write about something in your life that's Awesome.
I once ate a scab off my knee.
No, something awesomer.
I once ate two scabs off my knee.
Nothing about eating scabs! Now look what you made me do.
Louie, that's it! I should do my essay on you.
Brilliant.
Nice.
Looks like Louie the ghost is finally getting some love.
No thanks to butterfingers over here.
Hey, I was joking! Come back.
He can't get far.
If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Taylor, please, no screaming.
I got a ghost cold and a wicked headache.
I'll tell you why you got sick, Dad.
It's stress.
You need to relax.
How many more flyers do I have to give you before you attend my free yoga seminar? Six million.
Good news.
So every month, my school puts out a newspaper That's awesome.
Nice to hear journalism is alive and well in this country.
That's not the good news, Miles.
They wanna do a feature article on me since I'm the new gymnastics Team Captain.
My picture's gonna be on every paper in school.
Do you know what that means? You'll be an inspiration to others.
No, that I have to wear something cute.
No way.
No way.
No way! Frankie! Come on, Dad.
Doesn't looking at this immediately relax you? Not even a little bit.
Frankie.
Get in here! What's up? Pennington Academy reviewed your application and they loved it! Especially the essay.
No way! Really? - Mm hmm.
- Can't say I'm surprised.
Frankie had some pretty choice material to write about.
Front page articles? Elite schools? Ooh, my reflection journal is gonna be filled up tonight.
We can't celebrate yet.
The Director of Admissions is coming this afternoon for your interview.
We all need to be ready.
That means no ghosting.
Believe me, with this cold, ghosting is the last thing I wanna do.
I never knew ghosts could catch colds.
Yep.
They're just like regular colds.
Yeah, totally the same.
Taylor, can I ask you a question? - Sure.
- Good.
It's nice to know I can come to you if I ever have a question.
Ooh, thought of one.
- When's your interview? - After school.
I'm meeting the reporter at the bakery.
Hey, Tay! What is it? Oh, it's just a bee.
The extra honey packet I took at lunch.
They found me! Miles, what are you doing here? I have a major problem and I really need your advice.
What is it? So I'm building a model race car with my friend, Scooter, from Ghost Scouts.
He wants to go with racing stripes, but I wanna go with cool flames.
Big pickle, right? You came to my school And scared off my friend To talk about race cars? No.
Race car stickers.
Miles, we need boundaries.
Just because we live in the same house doesn't mean you need to be involved in every part of my life.
Fine.
When I'm at school, no popping in.
Boundaries.
Got it? I got it.
No popping into your school life.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Miles! No, I'm Niles, the famous Western Cowpoke.
Oh, and I was just wondering what you think about those, uh, race car stickers.
You promised.
Okey-dokey.
I'll let Miles know, little lady.
If I see him.
She's here.
Just act cool.
That's your cool walk? Yes, it's how I let people know I'm happening.
Mrs.
Hathaway, Eleanor Kravitz.
Oh, it's a pleasure, Mrs.
Kravitz.
And this is my amazing daughter, Frankie.
How do you do? Ah, well, I must say, Frankie, your essay was one of the most unique I've read in years.
Wow, thanks.
She's very creative.
I guess sometimes the apple does fall close to the tree.
Excuse me? I've always had a love affair with the written word.
"The sad clown dances.
The red balloon floats away.
Papa, can you hear me?" So Frankie, uh Your essay was very interesting.
Mind if we discuss it? All right, the lady wants to talk about the L-Train, I don't blame her.
Louie, scram.
No way.
I want to bask in my glory.
Um, why don't we skip all the essay talk? Frankie, what are you doing? Don't be modest.
This this essay is fascinating.
- Your main character is - I think we get it.
Talk to me about Tater Tot distribution.
My sources say it's six times a month? Will you excuse us? What is going on? I thought you wanted to get into this school.
I do.
It's just my essay.
It's about a ghost boy named Louie who's always messing up.
That's why I don't want her talking about it in front of him.
Louie would freak out.
I'm sure he'll be fine.
I'm freaking out! Then again, maybe not.
It's just a photo.
Look confident, wise And gymnastic-y.
Ah, deep in thought.
You're clearly considering the importance of race car ornamentation.
Miles, I'm busy.
Boundaries.
You said stay out of your school business.
This is the bakery.
I'm waiting to be interviewed.
It's school-related.
Fine.
By the way, Niles the Cowboy says you're rude.
Yeah, go with hands on chin.
It's a classic.
You caught me.
Sorry, I'm waiting for a reporter and I'm a little nervous.
Wait, you're the new gymnastics Captain.
Taylor, right? I'm a grade below you.
Barry.
Oh, yeah, I've seen you at school.
Look, I've never been interviewed, but you shouldn't be nervous.
It's just I'm representing the whole team.
I don't wanna say anything stupid.
Your teammates elected you Captain.
You'd have to say some pretty wacky stuff to upset them.
You know, like, "I'm the greatest gymnast ever".
"My team should erect a statue of me.
" Can you imagine if I did that in my interview? Every girl on the team should kneel before Queen Taylor.
Ah, it must be hard for the Queen to pretend to like her teammates.
Those peasants.
They're lucky to breathe the same air I do.
My back aches from having to carry them at every meet.
And we're done.
Thanks.
Wait.
What now? Barry Fink.
Investigative journalist, tween division.
You're the school reporter.
Why didn't you tell me? Because you wouldn't have said anything interesting.
Now I have plenty to write about, and it's on tape.
You're going to use those quotes? I was joking.
If you write that, my friends will never forgive me.
Thanks.
Ooh, now I also have the perfect picture to run with the article.
No, wait.
That pose wasn't even gymnastic-y.
Come back! Yee-haw! Not you.
- Oh.
Is everything okay? - Uh, peachy.
How about some tea? Everything Louie does goes wrong? When he tried to blow off the lights, instead he blew off his pants? My belt buckle was broken! We can discuss this later.
You don't think I can blow out the lights? I've gotta get a new belt.
You're not gonna ruin this for me, so knock it off.
- And put on your pants.
- Put on my what? Tea's ready! Anyone seen my tissues? Or more importantly, Louie's pants? Louie, I'm sorry for calling you a total disaster as a ghos You called me a total disaster? That's it! Wh what is happening? Oh, just some of that wacky New Orleans weather.
Lemon? Or a book? Son, stop right now.
Or I'll I'll I've seen all I need to see.
Please, please don't leave.
This is a kind home uh, a loving home.
- With flying cats! - Ah! The interview's over! So do you call us or sho um This is awful.
Your best shot at Pennington Academy just ran out the door.
With a cat on her face.
I've gotta call her and pray she has a sense of humor.
And a rabies shot.
Hey, you.
Better stay away.
You never know when Louie's gonna mess up.
End quote.
- Just let me explain.
- There's nothing to explain.
Now I know what you really think of me.
You think I'm a crummy ghost? Well, I think you're a crummy friend.
The good news is I tracked down the cat.
The bad news, he had human hair in his claws.
That's not gonna help things.
Louie, your behavior has earned you a time out.
Now, go to your room.
Sorry, Louie.
Save it for your next essay.
I got Kravitz on the phone, I told her it was all a huge misunderstanding.
Then I started reciting haiku, she cut me off and agreed to come back.
Now we just need a way to explain what happened.
Why don't you tell her it was magic? I don't get it.
Just tell Kravitz the whole thing was part of Frankie's magic act.
Then I recreate everything Kravitz saw, but make it look like Frankie's doing it.
This could work.
Magic is just another one of her diverse interests.
I gotta admit, for grownups, you guys have put together a decent plan.
Of course.
What could go wrong? Third time today! - Women.
- You said it, brother.
Who do they think they are? Preaching to the choir, my man.
Miles, sorry for brushing you off earlier, but I need your help.
A reporter at school is about to run a horrible story on me, and I Oh, I'm sorry.
This sounds school related.
Boundaries, remember? Miles, I'm serious.
This story could cost me all my friends.
Well, in that case Let's see in my little schedule I've got here.
Oh! I can pencil you in for spring.
I wouldn't wanna "pop in" unannounced.
Just forget it.
What's with her? Taylor thinks I have a problem respecting boundaries.
Can you believe that? You? No.
That's crazy.
I know, right? Why are you mad? Frankie thinks I'm a bad ghost.
Can you believe that aah! You? No, that's crazy.
Well, she does.
She wrote all about it.
It was humiliating.
Wait, are you talking about her school essay? - Did you read the whole thing? - Of course I read the whole thing.
Well, most of it.
A lot of it.
The first page.
Louie, the essay isn't about you being a bad ghost.
It's about how determined you are.
And no matter how many things go wrong, you never give up.
She calls you one of her heroes.
She wrote that? How do you know? Oh, I read it while I was hanging out in her backpack.
You hang out in Frankie's backpack? Well, yeah, only when Taylor's backpack isn't around.
Oh, my gosh.
I have no boundaries.
Taylor's right.
And I blew her off in her time of need? I gotta fix this.
Before you go, any chance you've got an extra copy of Frankie's essay? Sure, Louie.
I'm such a weirdo I go around making copies of people's essays.
Second drawer.
Underneath Taylor's diary.
Taylor, it's newspaper day.
You know what that means.
Yeah, the newspaper comes out today.
It does? Exciting! Barry! There's that tall drink of handsome.
I'm still running the story, Hathaway.
I hate you.
Sorry, toots.
Scandal sells.
So you admit your story is a lie? Of course it's a lie.
So what? These stooges believe anything they read.
They're idiots.
I end up looking like a genius.
Is that what a genius looks like? Someone booby-trapped my locker.
Bleh.
Hey, where are all the newspapers? They were stored in here.
- They're gone? - Oh.
You did this, Hathaway.
You know what? It doesn't matter.
Because everything you said is still here on my recorder.
Listen to this, everyone.
- So you admit your story is a lie? - Of course it's a lie.
So what? These stooges will believe anything they read.
They're idiots.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not you guys.
You guys are awesome.
Super smart.
Wait! Hey, come back! I'm Barry Fink! I am the news! Miles? Miles, I know you must be behind this.
Don't be mad.
I know how you don't want me barging into your school life.
Miles, you totally saved me.
That was awesome.
Forget all that boundary stuff.
I was wrong to say that.
No, no.
You were right.
I need to respect your privacy more.
Look, the truth is, we're like a family now, and family sometimes meddles in each other's business.
Thanks, Taylor.
Hey, you wanna jump in my backpack for the ride home? Sure.
There's a first time for everything.
Thank you so much for coming back, Eleanor.
- Uh, may I call you Eleanor? - No.
Uh uh.
Just, uh, say what you need to say.
This place freaks me out.
I promise we can explain everything you saw.
Yeah, well, make it quick.
Oh, wait.
Just, uh Can't lose any more hair.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Introducing my well-rounded, straight-A Community-service-loving daughter, The Great Frankini.
Oh.
All those weird things you saw earlier, they were just magic tricks.
I was attacked by a floating cat.
Magic.
Observe.
Piano, bring us music.
Shoo-ba-dee-doo! Ray.
Shoo-ba-dee-doo! Shoo-ba-dee-doo! You are so pretty.
I'm up.
I'm up.
Try something else, Frankie.
Um flying books.
Shoo-ba-dee-doo.
Uh.
Okay.
You know what? We're done.
But, uh, thank you for your interest in Pennington Academy.
- No, wait.
Nothing's weird! - Oh! Oh! What was that? It's the L-Train, here to save the day.
Great.
Follow my lead.
Watch this, Mrs.
K.
Flying peacock.
Flying couch.
Seriously? Flying Frankini.
- Oops.
- Put her down! - Wha - Hey, I got one right.
Mrs.
Kravitz.
Uh, Mrs.
Kravitz - That was spectacular.
- Really? How on Earth did you do that? A magician never reveals her secrets.
For a second there, I actually thought this house was haunted.
That's so funny.
Pennington would be lucky to have such a creative talent.
- I'll be in touch.
- Yes.
I thought you were mad at me.
- What made you decide to help? - I read the rest of your essay.
And, as your hero, I couldn't let you down.
So we're good? Yeah, we're good.
Mrs.
Kravitz forgot her handbag.
Here.
Let me get it for you.
Okay Dad, let the wave of relaxation run all the way through you.
Feel that? Yeah, you do.
Wow.
I actually do feel better.
There might be something to this yoga.
Ah, yes.
Eastern philosophy often has a calming effect, like haiku.
Mocked for my poems, and yet I write on bravely.
My words dance, smile, cry.
- Thank you, son.
- You're welcome, pops.