The Mayor (2017) s01e10 Episode Script

Oh, man, you got me again, Harry.
Good game.
The elderly are the backbone of our community, but here in Fort Grey, they've been getting the short end of the walking stick.
That ends Tuesday.
Vote "yes" for Prop 24, and put our budget surplus where it belongs saving our senior centers.
Because, after all, don't these youngsters deserve it? Harry, rematch? Go easy on me this time.
This ad was paid for by Friends of Courtney Rose.
- Man, you sparkle.
- Good.
I'm so glad you agreed to wear makeup.
Val, you really should've been there.
I was there! All day.
I I I wrote the script, I hired the crew.
This isn't about credit, Val.
The seniors in our city are practically invisible, and if we don't help them, no one will.
That was literally in my first draft.
You said it was too wordy and not in your voice.
The point is, I genuinely care about this, 'kay? I mean, how could you not help old people? - They're so damn cute.
- Devil's advocate they're gross and usually racist.
Sorry, I hate old people.
Either way, on Tuesday, the "yes" votes are gonna start rolling in.
Proposition 24 is unstoppable.
Proposition 24 must be stopped.
The dark secret Mayor Rose doesn't want you to know is that there's no guarantee the money from Prop 24 is going to seniors.
It just puts taxpayer dollars right into the mayor's pocket with no accountability.
Are you really gonna trust this rapper with your hard-earned money? Hi, I'm councilman Ed Gunt.
You know, nobody loves old people more than me.
Protect our elderly.
Vote "no" on Prop 24.
Because when it comes to trust, Mayor Rose's motto is Don't trust me.
So, on Tuesday, remember Vote "no" on 24.
How great are these guys? Get in there.
All right.
This ad was paid for by the Fort Grey Unity Council and People Who Don't Trust Courtney Rose.
Oh, my God, how is he running against helping seniors? He's not.
He's running against trusting you.
Uh, I get hating old people but Courtney he's so young and cute, vibrant, chocolate.
Okay, I'll be honest, I found that ad very effective and my trust in Courtney is a little bit shaken.
Okay, well, this is bad.
Ed Gunt called your credibility into question right when we're asking voters to trust you - and vote for this campaign.
- Hey, Val.
You know we all saw the commercial.
We don't need an explanation.
Actually, I found it helpful.
I kind of spaced out.
I was picturing me and a bear on a road trip to the Golden Gate Bridge.
Okay, when are you gonna stop picturing and just do it already? Anyway, I have two words for you word cloud.
This little beauty helps track the public's perception of Courtney.
The bigger the word, the more people are saying it.
Word clouds are a really powerful political tool.
I didn't know that you knew about this.
I guess there's a lot for us to learn about each other.
Okay.
Let's see what's trending on Courtney's cloud.
- We have "black" - Mm-hmm.
- "rap" - Yeah.
and "mayor".
- "Pizza.
" Good for you, man.
- Mm-hmm.
But I don't see "trust" anywhere.
Oh, um, no, it's there.
You just you just got to squint.
- Oh, where? - right there.
See, it's the little guy that's hanging off the "S" of "suspicious".
Oh.
That's - A lot tinier than I'd hoped.
- Yeah.
You guys comparing ding-dongs? Hey, I realized I hadn't been up here since you got "elected".
Why did you just do air quotes? It is what happened.
He got elected, man.
I like what you've done with the place.
Smells like cheap candles.
Is that supposed to be lilac? Oh, you know it's lilac.
Listen, I just came up here to see if you saw my ad.
If you didn't, don't worry.
I bought a lot of air time.
Have you always hated old people, or has your heart just always been shriveled up like the Grinch? Listen, I love seniors as much as the next weirdo, but what you're asking for gives too much power to the executive branch.
That's not democracy.
- Also, I hate you.
- Just so you know, one of your pant legs is tucked into your sock.
So, it's kind of hard to take you seriously.
- Hmm.
- Gimme some.
Said the woman dressed like a dull boy.
T.
K.
Hey, man, check your outdated gender definitions at the door.
Honey, if you want to dress like a little boy, you can do it whenever you want.
Big ideas for building trust.
Let's go.
Courtney goes around to local coffee shops, waits for people to go to the bathroom, and boom! offers to watch their laptops.
Trust restored.
No, no, man.
What we need is Oh, whoa! citywide trust falls.
How did you know I would catch you, you maniac?! Trust, baby.
Hey, guys, guys, let's focus, okay.
I refuse to let Ed Gunt derail us from helping these sweet, old - Racists.
- people.
Okay.
Well, good news is that this is a special election, so voter turnout is usually low, which means we don't need a lot of votes to win.
Where is Ed Gunt's office? I need to deliver a slap to his face.
Downstairs, corner office, I will hold your earrings.
Oh, no.
No one is slapping anyone.
That little twerp attacked your trustworthiness.
I will not stand for that.
See? This is a woman who can restore faith in Courtney Rose.
Too bad we can't let her talk to the whole city.
Wait! Maybe we can.
Giant megaphones? Yeah, I already thought about it.
Doesn't exist.
Not enough time to invent it.
No.
No, no, no.
Wh-what if we got my mom on TV to sing my praises? Is it too late to get her on The Grey Area - on such short notice? - Well, their last guest was the meat grinder from the supermarket, so I, uh I think we've got a shot.
There you go.
Ma, what do you say? Will you do it? - Me?! On TV?! - Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Bet your ground beef I will.
Okay, I'll have to start prepping you immediately.
Please, I don't need lessons on how to talk about my son.
I wiped his butt 'til he was 9.
- Uh-oh.
- S-seven This is important, okay? And the vote is just around the corner.
Courtney.
Yeah, I o-o-okay, look.
Val, look, we really appreciate - what you're trying to do here.
- No, you don't.
Yeah, and it really hurts me to tell you this - I doubt that's true.
- but, I agree with my mom.
Here's all the prep she needs.
- Ma, am I trustworthy? - Yes.
- How do we want people to vote on 24? - Yes! - Can we have meatloaf for dinner? - Yes.
Prepped! - You happy now, Val? - Not in the least.
All right, I'll set up the interview.
Perfect.
Thanks, Ma.
- Wait.
H-Hello? - Oh, love you, too, honey.
Okay, uh let me just get this out of the way right now.
You are on a rocket ship to the moon.
I will be your manager, I won't sugarcoat things, and I I I will take my hand from your shoulder.
- Yeah, you will.
- I get it.
Talent needs space.
Here are are at "The Grey Area," where a star is born! All thanks to her ambitious manager who saw raw potential in a single mom - on a dead-end road to nowhere.
- Huh? Twist top! Very now.
A toast to Dina Rose! - Aww - You're gonna kill it, Ma, and remind this city that they can trust me.
You know what goes really well with wine? Um learning a little interview technique - called "The Pivot.
" - Whoa.
My client specifically requested no prep.
It's not prep.
It's just a a fun, easy trick for staying on topic.
So, if they ask you anything that's not, you know, about trust, you just pivot towards trust.
So, uh, let's practice.
Courtney must've been a handful as a child.
And and then you say You're gonna have a heart attack by the time you're 30.
Val, relax, all right? She got this.
You should've seen her pivot out of taking me to Disneyland when I was 10.
Master.
We're ready, Ms.
Rose.
Ah, that's me.
No time like show time.
- How's my rouge? - Poppin'.
Lockin'.
- Panty droppin'.
- Hey! Good evening.
You may have seen tonight's guest delivering mail all across this beautiful city, but what you might not know is that 25 years ago, she delivered one of Fort Grey's most notable residents.
And it brings me great honor to welcome his mother, Dina Rose.
I'm so excited to be here.
You know, this is my favorite show not called "The Bachelor".
Oh, you know what? I'm a fan of that, too.
So, we're good on that.
- I wrote that joke.
- So, let's just dig right in.
So, did you have any idea that your little baby would grow up to be the mayor? I knew that God had given me a bright, determined young man.
And if Courtney Rose says he's going to do something, you can trust that he's gonna do it.
- Well, take us through it.
- Mm-hmm.
It's election day, you walk right into that voting booth, - see his name - Mm-hmm.
how did it feel? It always feels good to vote.
- It's one of my favorite days of the year.
- Well, yes, yes, but but having the opportunity to vote for your son.
- I mean, that had to be special.
- I wouldn't know.
I didn't vote for Courtney.
What did she just say? I think she said she didn't vote for you.
Cut! Cut to a commercial! Cut to a commercial! - Uh - You didn't vote for your own son? Uh, no.
No, I did not.
But you have to understand, it's Oh, I understand completely.
Yes, I understand that I just got the scoop of the century.
No, no.
Th-there's no scoop.
- If you just let me, I could tell you - You heard it here, folks.
No, you didn't hear nothing.
- Wait, hold on now! - And once again, it is "The Grey Area" with the exclusive.
- Uh - Dina Rose did not vote for her son, the Mayor.
I-I would like to pivot.
Someone really should've prepped her on how to pivot.
Man, I can't believe my own mother didn't vote for me.
- That is so not cool.
- How could you even bear - to look at her last night? - I didn't! I sadly ate my meatloaf in my room.
- That's smart.
- Mm-hmm.
Your fractured relationship with your mom aside, you got to admit, she popped on TV.
Watch, we're gonna ride that wave to a J.
C.
Penney commercial, maybe even Zales.
Look, I know tensions are running high, but can I just say what we all know? - That no one saw this coming.
- Mm-hmm.
That I saw it coming, and no one listened to me! Insight is 20/20, Val.
Look, this campaign is just gonna come down to a couple of votes, so let's just focus on turnout.
Who's gonna turn out for the guy whose own mother said she didn't vote for him on TV? Courtney, we live in a bubble here on the coast, man.
I bet you people in real America ain't even paying attention.
This is a local campaign and a local show.
- See, there's that bubble again.
- No.
No, no, no.
- T.
K.
's accidentally right.
- Hey.
People probably aren't even talking about this.
Let's go take the temperature.
Uh, fun fact the most accurate way to check someone's temperature is not orally, it's not through the armpit - Okay, all right.
- Okay.
- Well, it's not through the ear.
- I'm out.
- All right.
- Nope, just stop.
Just Oh, I could be happy working at a container store.
See, this is what I'm talking about.
Real people, no bubbles.
Not even soap in the bathroom.
I got Purell if you need it.
- Travel size.
- My brother.
Mm-hmm.
See, Marshawn signed with the Raiders, 'cause he knew they were on the move.
To me, that's a mixed message.
You can't blame him for that, man.
He's a player, not an owner.
Ah, it don't matter.
He's still got responsibilities.
Does he own the team? - Does he own the team?! - Hey, hey, man.
If the money's right, I'll be a barber in Pyongyang, you know what I mean? I'm loyal to the money, baby! Man, I don't know, I don't know.
Players hopping from team to team really hurts the league.
- What? - [Bleep.]
, shut up.
Your mama don't even trust you.
Come on.
Hey, Court, um I've been wanting to apologize for what happened on the show.
I wasn't trying to blow up your Prop 24 thing like that.
Isn't there something else you want to apologize for? You're right.
I burnt these beans.
And I'm sorry.
I was here cooking and all of a sudden, I was like, "How old is C.
C.
H.
Pounder?" And then that sent me down a Wikipedia hole I still ain't came out of.
Ma, you didn't vote for me your own son.
I didn't know that was gonna come up on that show.
Ross Gibbage.
More like Ross Garbage trying to trash my son with my words.
It's not about the show.
Why didn't you vote for me? You were promoting your mixtape.
Too many people sacrificed so that we would have the right to vote, and I take that right seriously.
And I'm happy that you take your job seriously now.
But, baby, did you even vote for yourself? This hurts me to say, man, but Ms.
Dina - really jacked up your word cloud.
- Mm.
I mean, "trust" is now smaller than "Sagittarius," and "pizza" is nowhere to be found.
Do what Gunt did to you.
Discredit your opponent.
This your mom, but there's ammo to use.
She did have a child out of wedlock.
First off, that child is me.
Secondly, no.
Isn't Miss Dina your client? But the "biz" thrives off scandal.
Keeps you current, relevant.
Zales.
Guys, I keep telling you, this is just gonna come down to voter turnout.
We need a targeted door-to-door campaign.
But why knock on doors when you can knock on hearts? Right now, your relationship with Fort Grey is having some major trust issues.
And from my personal experience, you got to make a big move.
Hold a boom box outside your love's window.
Let her know that she can out on you because you love her and cherish her, and you miss her, and you're sorry about the cat.
What? You were just in a hurry, and you assumed that it would move out of the way when it heard you backing out the driveway.
You know what, T.
K.
's onto something.
- Yeah.
- No, no.
He he isn't.
No, his point is I need to do something big and speak from the heart.
I could use my next public appearance to pivot into that.
You all like that? Okay.
Yeah.
Funny, yeah.
Pivot was mine, remember? - Okay.
- I suggested it.
Here.
Mm-hmm.
Wait, wait, wait, ho-hold on, hold on, everyone.
If I could have a quick, spontaneous word here? - I'd like to take this opportunity - Okay.
.
to express my love for this great city and our seniors.
Oh, hello! Love the brooch.
You can always count on Mayor Rose and trust that I will always be here to take care of you and to take care of your friends.
Mr.
Mayor, what happened on "The Grey Area"? I don't really want to talk about that, Gabby.
You want to dance? Cut a rug? - Mr.
Rose - Yes.
your mom went on that program and said she didn't vote for you.
What happened? Did you guys have a fight beforehand? A fight? No.
No, no, no.
We were celebrating.
We were backstage drinking.
So, you're blaming what your mother said on her drinking? Is that what you think I'm saying? Look, Gabby, was my mom drinking? How much was my mom drinking? Why was my mom drinking? These are things we will never know, just like we'll never know why she said the things she said that she didn't mean to say.
My point is, we're not here to judge, all right.
We're here to help her with the drinking.
No.
No! - Wow.
- Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Hey, look, I did not mean to call my mom a drunk, okay? Gabby Montoya backed me into a corner.
Anybody need a trim? How about some pants hemmed? You're not keeping those.
Put them back, T.
K.
Why are we even in government? - Guys.
- Put them back.
Okay, Courtney, I get that your mom is mad at you because you suggested that she's a raging alcoholic, but the vote is tomorrow.
The vote it's over.
Show them the word cloud.
- Oh, okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Good news is that "mom" is the biggest word.
- Mm.
- It's followed by "hater", "selfish", and "fetal alcohol syndrome question mark".
So it it made an impact.
But just remember what I said.
I will give $10, okay, to the first person who can just r-repeat anything I have ever said.
Um - The Voice! You got in The Voice.
- Ah, that's great.
Ooh.
Hey-yeah.
What I said was that w-with these special elections, voter turnout is usually low.
So, if you just get out there and turn out a couple more votes, then we can easily win this thing.
Oh! W-wait, wait.
It's Gunt.
"Turn around"? Isn't that a fun entrance? My unpaid intern thought of that.
It's hilarious.
He's a great guy do not know his name.
Anyhoosier, I wanted to stop by and bring you a present.
I was gonna drink it myself, but then I thought, "Courtney's mom's a bit of a Boozie Suzie.
Maybe she'd like it.
" She's not boozie.
Oh, then why did you tell everybody that? I guess we can't trust what you say.
Anyhoozle, I hope they don't put a breathalyzer in her mail truck.
That would be horrible.
I would do it, though.
Did you come here just to mock me? No, no, I came by to thank you for making so many mistakes.
Enjoy the wine.
I found it in the trash.
Clearly, we can't move forward until we fix this.
Courtney, we have to go talk to your mom.
She does not want to talk me, and she definitely does not want to talk to you.
I might know a way to get through to her.
Hello, Dina.
It's Val.
P-please don't hang up.
I just wanted to say that you were right.
Okay.
She wants me there in 10.
Uh, uh, wait.
What was she right about? Who cares? Have you met her? Let's go.
She is good.
I would offer you a drink but this is just my first bottle of the day.
Ma, I know you don't like that.
- Mmm.
- Ugh.
It's delicious.
I'm so used to it.
Okay.
Good news I was a peer mediator at summer camp, so I have all the tools to help you heal this rift.
At summer camp, we used something called a Feeling Ferret, - which I don't have right now.
- A ferret? It was stuffed, but we can, you know we can totally find something else.
Ah! Floss.
When you hold the floss, you can speak using an "I feel" sentence.
- That ain't gonna work for us.
- Okay, well, I-I mean, I-I have another exercise but we're gonna need a blindfold and an archery range, and I could yep.
You not voting for me really hurt.
Oh So you just thought you'd start a little smear campaign against your mama? Hey, ma, look, it happened in the moment, okay? I was thinking about the senior citizens and you're gonna be in their position one day.
- What?! How old do you think I am?! - So, I was just trying to make sure - I'm only 16 years older than you! - that you were taken care of - I'm vivacious.
You out your doggone mind.
- Let's reset! Let's reset.
Let's reset.
I feel like I know you guys.
I didn't want to know you as well as I do, but here we are.
And I feel like you guys have a really strong relationship, which means that when things are on the rocks, it really hurts.
But, right now, I feel like it's not just hurting the two of you.
It's hurting the entire city.
And I feel like maybe Courtney feels something right now.
I feel stupid for holding this, but I also feel very sad.
Look, ma, I didn't mean it, okay? The pressure got to me.
- I tried.
Thank you.
- You did good.
You did good.
Okay, and, uh, Miss Dina? - You know, just - You need to get that out of my face.
- Maybe just - I said you need to get that out my face.
I'm gonna I'll hold your feelings.
I guess I could be a little more careful with my words.
I am sorry I hurt you.
And I'm sorry if I hurt your "Yes on 24" campaign.
So we good? We're good.
And I also maybe could've used a tiny bit of preparation.
I'm sorry, what was that last part for me? Girl, if you don't stop being so thirsty.
Yes.
Prop 24! With 92% of precincts reporting, the referendum results should be called any minute.
All right, the word cloud is looking good.
"Hate" is smaller and "love" and "trust" are shooting up.
"Pizza's" back.
How does this thing work? With a record-low voter turnout of 11%, it appears Proposition 24 has passed.
- Yes! - 980 to 973, a narrow win narrow.
We did it, guys.
All right, first, I want to give a special shout-out to Val.
She kept us on-message in a very dark hour.
- Here, here.
- 43 dark hours, but who's counting.
'Cause sometimes you scare the living happy-meal out of me, but hey, you be dropping some wisdom.
Look, I, uh, should've listened to you.
We also share a part in this victory, - helping to restore public trust in Courtney.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you know how many times Miss Dina has said things like, "I love my baby," "I trust my baby"? Man, I have so many of them in my phone that I did a little remix, put it online.
It goes a little something like this.
- Surprise! - Ah! - For me? You're so sweet.
- You're welcome.
Oh, I love you, baby.
Jermaine.
Thanks for making these, Ma.
I'm happy I made you, too.
Jermaine! - I trust you, baby.
- Thank you.
Jermaine.
I trust you.
Thank you, Ma.
- Jer-maine! - What? Aw, that's so sweet, you guys.
Stop taking video of me without my consent.
Sorry I want to see what they talking about.
Let's go to the streets to see what the voters had to say.
I'd lost all trust in Mayor Rose, but then I saw that video, and his wife really convinced me.
I hated how mean he was to his mom, but then I saw that sweet video his wife made, and she seems so nice.
Maybe his mom is a monster.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
In a way, without any context, it 100% looks like y'all are married.
Ew.
"Wife" is the biggest word on your cloud now.
They think I'm with a 25-year-old.
I think I'm okay with it.
Yeah, I'm gonna need all of the trash wine in here.
- Get ready for a victory lap.
- Hmm.
Not for me.
I voted "no" on 24.
Oh, don't act surprised.
You know where I stand on these people.
What are you doing here, Gunt? Mayor Rose! I'm celebrating "Yes on 24", and I brought all of these people some cookies.
24 was my thing, and you were completely against it.
Yeah, they don't remember that.
Be careful, Hazel, that one has nuts.
And remember, your insurance only covers one pair of chompers.
Jim-Jim.
What did he say about the cookie? He said "go nuts", lady.
Yo, what is wrong with you? That is a sweet, old lady.
All right, now, which one of you stole my purse? - Damn! - Damn! Thank you.