The Proud Family (2001) s01e10 Episode Script

1
(CECE CHUCKLING)
OSCAR: Trudy, start looking
for a bigger house.
We're going to be rich.
Look at this.
(GURGLES)
Now, do that other thing
Daddy showed you.
-(GASPS)
-(CECE CHUCKLING)
Isn't she great?
I've already started
lining up endorsements.
Who cares?
-What's wrong with you?
-It's your teenage daughter.
No, that's your daughter.
My daughter
is little Carrie Webb here.
She's going to be rich
and rich kids
don't have any problems.
I wouldn't have any problems
either if it wasn't for Mama.
Keep mouthing off like that
and your next problem is going
to be how many push-ups
you can do at boot camp.
Come on. Now,
what are you fighting about?
We're about to come up.
We're going to live off
of BeBe and CeCe.
Penny's upset over the clothes
that I bought for her
but I think I picked out
some lovely outfits.
They're now. They're with it.
Mom, nobody says,
"Now" or "With it" anymore.
I got to agree. You are a little
out of touch, baby. You see,
your Mama's uptown and she
is not used to hanging out
-with downtown boss cats.
-Boss cats?
I see you're out of touch too.
Just show me
what your mother bought you.
Okay, but I have to warn you
they're wiggity wack.
Nobody says,
"wiggity wack" anymore.
And nobody wears clothes
like this anymore but me.
What's wrong? They look
just like what you're wearing.
That's the problem.
I'm tired of wearing
the same old thing.
She's not the only one.
Look what Trudy
picked out for me
at the You're Still Alive store.
Now, I'm definitely old enough
to pick out my own clothes.
You old enough to pick out
clothes for Adam and Eve.
I'm still old enough
to warm your bottom too.
Boy, don't make me embarrass you
in front of your kids.
Well, my Mama embarrassed me.
I'll have you know that I won
-best-dressed in my school!
-OSCAR: You got that right,
lady.
Boy, come on!
Come on, change my
(SCREAMS) A mouse!
(ALL SCREAMING)
What are y'all so scared about?
It's just a mouse.
What? I was just trying out
these new Air Wizards I bought.
-(THEME SONG BEGINS)
-The Proud Family. What?
You and me
Will always be tight
Family, every single day
And night
Even when you start
Acting like a fool
You know I'm loving
Every single thing you do
I know that I can
Always be myself
Around you more
Than anybody else
And every day
As I'm heading off to school
You know there's no one
I love as much as you
Family, a family
Proud Family
-They'll make you scream
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
They'll make
You want to sing
It's a family thing, a family
Proud, Proud Family
The Proud Family
They'll push your buttons
They'll make you want
To hug them
Family, a family
Proud, Proud Family ♪
-OSCAR: Ouch!
-(THEME SONG ENDS)
Penny, what do you think
you're doing?
Since you want
to treat me like a baby
I might as well eat like one.
But I was cleaning that bottle.
It's full of soap.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Penny, we thought
about what you said
and perhaps it is time
that you shopped for yourself.
We've decided to give you
your own credit card.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING)
My own credit card?
I can't believe it.
This isn't a joke, right?
No joke. We got
an extra card on our account.
It's your card,
but we pick up the tab.
I don't believe it.
I have the two most
coolest parents in the world!
The two dumbest parents
in the world.
Who would give
a teenager a credit card?
Suga Mama, we trust Penny.
-I can't wait to hit the mall.
-Oh, hey, slow down.
You can buy a couple of outfits
but other than that,
use it only in an emergency.
-You got that?
-Got it! Thanks! Bye!
-(DOOR CLOSING)
-Maybe Suga Mama was right.
She flew out of here
like Marion Jones.
I think we can trust her
to act like a mature,
responsible adult.
(SQUEAKS)
(SCREAMS) Oscar, I want
that mouse out of here!
How can you be afraid of mice?
You're a veterinarian.
You give shots to lions
and tigers for crying out loud.
I can't help it.
I it's those beady eyes,
and that little nose, big ears
and those bony tails.
Do you realize you just
described Oscar to a "T"?
No. I just described
a marked mouse.
I called the exterminator.
You called the exterminator?
Why did you do that, Trudy?
We could have taken care
of the situation.
You didn't need to get
the authorities involved.
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
-Too late. He's here.
These guys are nothing
but rip-off artists.
They see a poor,
defenseless woman
and they jack up the price.
Let me handle this.
-What do you want?
-Hi. I'm Jethro the
(LAUGHS) Beverly hillbilly?
(LAUGHS) How original.
No. The exterminator.
I hear you have a mouse problem.
No, you have a problem, pal.
I know about you guys.
How you overcharge people.
How much to catch a mouse?
Seventy-five, 80 dollars?
Normally we charge 35 dollars.
Aha! But today,
it's going to be 80, right?
No. Today we got a special.
It's only 15 dollars.
Get out!
But, sir, it's the best price
we've had in years.
I said beat it.
I'll catch this mouse myself.
(LAUGHS) I'll be back.
What did you do that for?
Did you hear what that crook
wanted to charge?
Yes, only 15 dollars.
Oh, they just say that
to get the job.
He's just being cheap
and hardheaded.
It's a deadly combination.
TRUDY: Oscar, please.
One thing I'm sure of
I can catch a mouse.
I'll pick up
a couple of little traps
and before he can say,
"This cheese looks free,"
snap, crackle, bap,
it'll be over,
for under two dollars.
Oscar, you're not going
to hurt the mouse, are you?
-Yeah, permanently.
-TRUDY: Oscar
I'm a veterinarian,
I have an oath to honor.
-Get rid of him. Don't hurt him.
-(GASPS)
You just know how to take
the fun out of everything.
(AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING)
Why are we over here
in the bargain section?
Hey, look what I found.
A designer blouse,
and it's really cheap.
That's because it says,
"DKNJ." Not DKNY.
So what? With the money I save,
I'll buy a magic marker
and change it
to "Versace" if I want to.
Why would you do that?
Yeah. I thought your parents
gave you a credit card?
They did. See? But I'm trying
to be responsible.
You're a teenager. They know
you're not responsible.
Yeah. Let's get out
of the swap-meet section
and go do some real shopping.
-Sorry, I can't do that.
-So, what was all that stuff
about wearing the numbers
off your credit card?
I don't know.
Look, if we're window shopping
I'm going to the side
of the store
where they hang things up.
-Yeah, and people follow you.
-Why would they follow you?
What's wrong with them?
CREDIT CARD: No,
the question is,
-what's wrong with you, girl?
-Who said that?
CREDIT CARD: Over here,
I'm in your hand.
Oh, loosen up your grip, Xena.
-You can talk?
-When I get some air,
I can talk.
Now, look,
why have a credit card
if you're not going to use
the doggone thing?
It's only money,
and it's your parents' money.
I'm trying to be an adult.
No, you're being a sucker,
is what you're being, girl.
Look around you, who's doing
all that spending? Adults.
I know, but my parents told me
not to
CREDIT CARD: Your parents
didn't tell you not to anything.
I was there. All I heard them
tell you was to spend.
Yeah, for school clothes
and emergencies.
CREDIT CARD:
Have you looked in the mirror?
Your clothes are an emergency.
Look, you look like
you going to a sock hop.
Okay, okay. So I need
some new clothes.
CREDIT CARD: No, no, no,
you need a new attitude.
You need to let
the real you out, girl.
You need to go out there
and shop till you drop.
Can you dig it?
Hey, girls,
let's get out of here
and do some real shopping.
Now, that's what
I'm talking about.
(CASH REGISTER BEEPING)
(OSCAR HUMMING)
Good to be a man, oh
-Bad to be a mouse
-(GASPS)
(OSCAR CONTINUES HUMMING)
-Take this you dirty rat!
-(GROANS) Trudy!
Oh, Oscar! I'm sorry.
I I heard humming
and I thought it was the mouse.
You thought the mouse
was humming?
Well, if you would just get
rid of him,
I wouldn't have
to think about anything.
Not to worry.
I've just covered the basement
with 250 square-feet
of sticky paper.
And if he gets around that,
I've put these traps
in strategic locations.
Are they humane traps?
OSCAR: The guy at the store
guaranteed the mouse
would think he's died
and gone to heaven.
(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.
Check this out.
He walks in the front door,
he's bumped on the head
-with a Q-tip
-(GROANS)
he falls in a down pillow
where he's restrained
with velvet ropes.
Then we'll call this number
on the side of the house
and they come out at take him
to a gated community
where he can be
with his own kind
somewhere on a cheese farm
in Green Bay.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Oscar, just get the door.
No, no, that was the trap.
See? I caught him already.
You said it couldn't be done.
You want to see
our little house guest?
No. Just call that number
and send him to Green Bay.
Hold on. Hold on.
Let me take a little peek
and get my last laugh in.
(CHUCKLES) What in the
Is he in there?
Yeah, he's in there.
I don't believe this.
This humane trap
is a little bit too humane.
What do you mean?
He's living
in the lap of luxury.
This place is off the hook.
He's got a big-screen TV.
Jacuzzi, CD player
A girlfriend?
And where did she come from?
Oh, she's kind of cute.
Homemouse is in there
bling-blingin'.
Who cares? You caught him,
that's all that matters.
I care. He's in there
living better than me.
OSCAR: Oh, now he's doing
the Cabbage Patch, huh?
(SQUEAKS)
I've got something
for you, buddy. Earthquake!
Oh, this is a toy mouse.
That's how they caught him.
Smart.
(GRUNTS) Huh?
(SHRIEKS)
He's on your nose! Get him!
Relax. I got it under control.
Mr. Mouse, prepare to meet
Oscar, don't!
(GROANS)
Oh, I thought I just heard
the sound of metal
hitting numbskull.
And I did. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) After all that shopping
it sure would be nice
to have a scoop of ice cream.
Yeah. Too bad we spent
all of our money.
Then what are we doing in here?
We might as well go home.
(GRUNTS)
I mean, some ice cream
sure would be cool
and refreshing.
What? My new shades
don't look tight?
You know what we mean, Proud.
Buy some ice cream now!
For all of y'all?
Y'all tripping.
CREDIT CARD: Come on, now,
go ahead, big time.
Floss a little. They ain't got
but three flavors in here.
How much could that cost?
Okay, it's on me.
You're the best. Thanks, Penny.
Hey, I got it like that.
(LAUGHS) Who says
you can't buy love?
Yeah, you're right.
They think I'm all that now.
Today was a good day.
(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)
Penny Proud,
your card has been rejected.
What do you mean "rejected"?
Uh, card, say something.
-Girl, you in trouble.
-(GRUNTS, STUTTERS)
Repo table four.
Repo table four.
To my girl Penny Proud.
-To Penny Proud!
-To Penny Proud!
Dang, we got repo'd.
Look what you made me do.
CREDIT CARD: Hey, wait
a minute now. Don't blame me.
You were supposed to be
the responsible one.
That's cold.
CREDIT CARD: No, no,
that ain't cold.
That's 35 percent interest
compounded daily. I'm high.
(GRUNTS)
(SUGA MAMA MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
Suga Mama!
What on Earth happened?
What's that you saying?
Oscar put sticky tape
all over the basement
and you can't talk?
(MUFFLED GROANS)
Oh! Where's that boy?
I'm going to
Wait a minute.
My mustache is gone.
Oh, wait till I tell the girls
at the bingo about this.
(PUFF WHIMPERS)
SUGA MAMA:
Oh, Puffy Wuffy, don't worry.
Suga Mama's got you.
(SHRIEKS)
Anybody got any Rogaine?
(CROWD LAUGHING,
BOOING OVER TV)
Oh, no! We got weasels, too?
That's Puff, Oscar.
You caught everybody
in the house but the mouse.
I thought you were going
to get professional help.
I been saying that
since he was eight.
-I did get help.
-Don't worry, Trudy.
We'll have that mouse
out of here
before you can finish
writing my check.
What check?
Oscar, how much
is all this going to cost?
Hey, Mom and Dad,
I'm back from shopping.
How did it go, baby?
Great. This is all I got.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
At least someone knows
how to spend responsibly.
Well, I'm going up
to my room now
with my little,
tiny shopping bag.
Trudy, for your information
it's not about money anymore.
Now it's personal, right, Felix?
As soon as I get
this baby charged up
that mouse is going down.
Oscar, plug this in.
(MATRIX THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Yep, this has the makings
of a classic
Road Runner cartoon.
(GROANS) Trudy!
(SIGHS)
CREDIT CARD:
All right, all right.
So far, so good, baby girl.
They don't suspect a thing.
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS) I don't think
this is going to work.
CREDIT CARD: Look,
don't sweat it. Next month,
take me and just buy
a bigger closet.
There's not gonna be
a next month.
They're gonna ground me
for life and cut you up.
Cut me up? They can't cut me up!
Look at me!
I'm too pretty to take a cut.
They wouldn't do that
to me, would they?
Do you see what he's trying
to do to that mouse?
-And he can catch you.
-We got to think for a minute.
Look, the bill don't come
until the end of the month.
All you got to do
is get the bill
-before you parents can see it.
-And do what with it?
CREDIT CARD: I don't care
what you do with it! Lose it,
trash it, make an airplane
out of it.
Just don't let them see it.
TRUDY: Penny, get down here now.
Uh-oh. Somebody
dropped a dime on you.
I bet it was LaCienega.
I'm through.
(GURGLES)
We have a problem.
I'm sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I'm sorry you have to see
your father like this.
Why is Daddy dressed
like a Ghostbuster?
I ain't afraid of no mouse.
We have to leave
the house, baby.
-Your daddy's gone crazy.
-So, this is not about me?
It will be if you don't hurry up
and get out of this house.
Okay, Felix, let's do this.
(ALL GASP)
Oscar, my man,
I think we got him.
Yay!
Yay!
So, Trudy,
how do you like me now?
(SQUEAKS)
The mouse is inside your helmet.
What?
The mouse is inside your helmet!
There's no mouse
inside my helmet.
There's no (SCREAMS, GRUNTS)
(GROANS) Come here, I got him.
Step back, Suga Mama.
I'll handle this.
No! No! No! No!
(WATER GUSHING)
(SQUEAKS)
(GURGLES) No, don't do it!
(SCREAMING)
Oscar, do you have any idea
how much this is costing us?
Why are you so obsessed
with money? Now, step back.
The slightest breath
could set this baby off.
Okay, fill her up.
(RUMBLING)
Oscar
(VALVE SQUEAKING)
Felix, what kind of gas
did you pump in there?
Uh, my bad, dude.
I think I rented
a helium truck by mistake.
(WIND WHOOSHES)
Daddy, where's Suga Mama?
(DOOR OPENS)
(BABIES COOING)
(SUGA MAMA MUFFLED GRUNTS)
OSCAR: I hate
to lose Suga Mama.
At least that mouse is gone.
He's standing right next
to me, isn't he?
(SQUEAKS)
(GRUNTS, GROANS, MUMBLES)
Oscar, get my house back.
Come on, Felix,
follow that mouse
I mean I mean, that house.
(WHISPERS) This isn't right.
I'm not doing it.
All you got to do is get
the bill from the mailman
and we're home free
for another month.
All right, now get ready.
-And he's got the bill.
-(MAILMAN HUMMING)
I'll take the mail, sir.
Thank you.
(HUMS)
Yes! I can't believe
we got away with it.
-We did it.
-OSCAR: Oh, the mail.
Thanks, Penny.
We're doomed.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
And another thing, you're lucky.
Puff and me are all right.
That reminds me,
I've got to go walk Puff.
(WHIMPERS)
Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you.
Is everything okay?
Don't do it, girl.
We can go underground.
We can live in the basement
with the mouse.
-It's about
the credit card bill.
-What credit card bill?
The one I gave to Daddy.
Oscar, you said
there was no mail.
(CHUCKLES) You must have
sucked in some of those fumes.
You go lay down, baby girl.
In fact, I
I'll tuck you in right now.
-Let me see it.
-What for, Trudy?
I already paid it.
Don't worry about it.
Oscar.
Okay, I went a little overboard
on the mouse thing.
How much overboard?
And let me remind you
that the exterminator
was going to charge 15 dollars.
Look, it could
have been a lot worse.
Since the helium thing
was Felix's fault,
-he only charged me half.
-TRUDY: Half price?
You paid him for turning
our house into a kite?
Now, look, I paid
the bill. Kids won't get
any toys for Christmas,
but I paid the bill.
And I'm not talking
about it anymore.
-But, Mom
-Penny, go upstairs.
It's about to get ugly. Go!
OSCAR: Baby, I was just kidding.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
You know I love you.
Whatever you say goes.
No! No! No! (SCREAMS) Mama!
CREDIT CARD:
What did I tell you?
Nothing to worry about.
Your daddy didn't even
notice the charges.
And after your mama
dots his "eye"
he won't be able to see
the charges
the next month either.
Wha what you doing, Penny?
I'm taking all this stuff back.
CREDIT CARD: Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Yeah, it's been here three days.
This stuff is all played out.
Besides, it all smell like
rat poison anyway.
You're the poison.
I'm getting rid
of these clothes and you.
You can't get rid of me!
You're talking crazy now, girl.
No, I'm very sane.
I just realized
that I'm not ready
for this responsibility.
-Come on, Penny
-I'm done talking
and so are you.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Wait a minute!
Wait a minute! Penny!
I can change. Let me buy you
something nice. Oh, no!
(SCREAMS, GROANS, MUMBLES)
-Hey, Mom and Dad!
-(MUFFLED CHATTER)
Penny, the credit card
company called today.
Apparently we got
a 1,000-dollar credit.
So you know
about my little shopping spree
-the other day.
-Uh-huh.
And it probably doesn't matter
that I did the right thing
by returning all the stuff
and cutting up the credit card.
-Nope.
-So, I'm grounded?
-Nope.
-Mommy, you are the best.
But until you are responsible
I'll be buying all your clothes.
In fact, I just picked up
the cutest little outfit today.
No!
(WIND WHOOSHES)
Hey! Hey, hey, Dijonay,
is that you, girl?
What's up? What's up?
You want to buy something?
-Who said that?
-CREDIT CARD: Down here, girl.
Look. Oh, look like
you need some diamonds
to go with that gold hair, girl.
-Hey! You're Penny's card.
-Uh-uh. Not anymore, I ain't.
Not Penny's card,
I'm your card.
Hey! I'm feeling you.
(CHUCKLES) So, Dijonay,
what you say
we do a little shopping, girl?
A little? I'm going
to max you out.
(SIGHS) Oh! Thank you.
Finally a woman
that understands me.
-Try to give me what I want.
-DIJONAY: Oh, oh, oh.
-Shoes and socks from
-CREDIT CARD: Go to work, girl.
-Go to work. Oh, shop it.
-DIJONAY: Oh, and then
the jewelry, all right,
bling-bling! Okay! (LAUGHING)
-Look out, Dijonay!
-CREDIT CARD: Shop it!
Charge it!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC ENDS)