The Soul Man (2012) s01e10 Episode Script

1 The soul man is recorded In front of a live studio audience.
This is so exciting! Shut up! A hotel room and a limo? Okay, I'll tell him when he gets home.
What was that all about? Limo, hotel room, and girls? Count me in.
I didn't say anything about girls.
You got a hotel and a limo, there will be girls.
The recording society of america Wants to give your father A special lifetime achievement award On television in las vegas.
So We're going to vegas! Yes! They're giving us an all-expense-paid trip And putting us up in the penthouse we always stayed in.
Wait, you mean the one with the five bedrooms And the jacuzzi in the living room? Oh, there's definitely gonna be some girls.
Okay, hold on.
Before we get too excited, I gotta run this past your father.
And I'm a little concerned Since he's gone all holier than thou.
I mean that in a loving way.
I'm just saying I don't know what he's gonna think.
I don't really know if he's gonna wanna go to las vegas.
Vegas, vegas, vegas we are going to vegas and I'm going to get a lifetime achievement award yeah so pack your bags, get ready to win 'cause I'm a preacher in the city of sin, yeah Now we can get excited! We're going to vegas! hey - The Soul Man - - S01E10 But most of all, I'd like to thank god And the music society, and All of my fans all around the world, people And of course my lovely wife lolli.
Okay, so when the camera pans on me, Should I give you loving wife Or video vixen? Mm, save that one for the room.
Ooh! Babe, this trip couldn't come at a better time.
You know these award shows.
They take such great care of you.
They pay for everything.
They're giving me a lifetime achievement award, I'm gonna have a lifetime of fun in two days.
What's this I hear about you going back to vegas? My super talented husband Is being given a lifetime achievement award.
For what? For a lifetime of achievement.
And, dad, it would mean a lot if you were there for me To see me accept my award.
I might even thank you in my speech.
You'd be a little more toward the end.
So who's gonna give you the award, Siegfried and newton and their fat monkey? Daddy, you don't know anything about it, Yet you're criticizing it.
I'm just saying it's not dignified For a man of the cloth to be attending a ceremony like that.
Aha.
See, I talked to 'em about that exact thing.
You know what, and we came up with a great idea.
I'm bringing the choir.
We're gonna do a spiritual number.
Come on, daddy.
Loosen up your muscle shirt.
Well, if it's for the church, I guess it can't be so bad.
Daddy, I don't ask you for much.
So this would mean a lot if you were there for me.
Oh, all right.
I have to admit, I always did wanna see that show Everybody's always talking about Black man group.
It's blue man group.
Blue? Well, who in the hell wants to see that? Hi, babe.
- Hey.
- How was your massage? It was wonderful.
I got loofah'd, hot stoned, and shiatsu'd.
I'm a happy girl.
Nice.
Well, look, I've gotta go to rehearsal for the award show.
Then I got a 3:00 tee time with michael jordan.
- Ooh.
- All right.
Then it's the pre-party with t-pain.
Or is the tea party with pre-pain? I'm not sure.
- Okay.
- Whoa, whoa.
I'll see you later.
Whoa, whoa.
Where you think you're going, Rihanna? I'm going to the pool.
Not dressed like that, you're not.
You can swim just as well in jeans and a sweatshirt.
- Lolli! Wow! - Hey, henry! Boyce the voice, back in the house! There he is, my man, henry "double down" morton.
How's the hotel business, friend? Not bad, the recession being what it is.
Made sure you got your old room back.
Try not to trash it this time.
Come on, now, don't blame that on me.
That was michael buble.
He's a wild man.
Lolli, I brought you up some karats.
Oh, henry, I'm really not in the mood for carrots.
I think you're gonna be interested in these.
Oh, delicious! Do I get to wear all of these? As long as you mention the hotel In all your interviews.
Oh.
Do I have to give 'em back? Uh, yeah! Sign here, sign here, sign here, sign here, sign here, And initial here.
Oh, my goodness, these are beautiful.
Well, they ought to be.
They're worth 250,000.
I look like elizabeth taylor.
A young elizabeth taylor.
Of course.
Oh, tip the man, boyce.
Tip him good.
Hey, he's the manager of the hotel.
You don't tip the manager.
You can tip this one.
Thank you.
Thank you! Enjoy your stay.
Oh.
Honey, don't you think these would make A wonderful birthday present? Sure.
Lyric doesn't need to go to college.
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi! Ooh, good lord in heaven! Look at this! a jacuzzi! Right in the middle of the living room.
And our room doesn't even have a bathtub.
- Well, aren't they special? - Mm, mm.
All right, ladies, you only have five hours Before you sing on national tv.
Oh, lolli.
What's that on your neck? $1/4 million.
The hotel loaned 'em to me for the award show.
Oh, you know, a good church lady Would share her riches with her friends.
Oh, yes.
O Kay.
Well, okay, you can wear this, and you can wear this.
All right, but I'm wearing this.
You know, a good church lady Girl, stop.
You know, lolli, Since vegas is your old stomping ground, You mind taking us out to stomp? - Oh! - Yes! I think we should go out and show off our new baubles.
This is real, right? Reverend, may I have a word with you, please, sir? I am in charge Of the money for church expenses and everything, And I wonder if I can impose upon you to hold it for me, So I don't do anything crazy with it.
"Be sober, be vigilant: Because the devil walks about like a roaring lion, Seeking whom he may devour.
" first peter 5:8.
Uhhuh.
So is that a yes or a no? It's an "I guess so.
" Oh, reverend, thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
I do.
All right! What do you ladies wanna see? I wanna see a half-naked man.
and I'd like to see the other half.
Oh, what am I gonna do with the two of you? Show us some naked men, that's what you're gonna do.
Hey, dad.
You know, I gotta go down to rehearsal Before I hit the golf course.
So what am I supposed to do? Well There's a chapel downstairs in the lobby Right in between the wheel of fortune And that aquarium filled with women.
Perfect spot for a church.
Hello, sir.
I have the scooter you ordered.
Oh, that's for me! yeah, yeah.
Going to be covering a lot of ground this weekend.
Deuces.
I see your brother hasn't changed.
Not at all.
In his name we pray.
Amen.
Point is eight.
Give him a roll.
- Let's go, a good roll.
- Come on, babe.
- Go! - Come on, you got this.
Seven out! New shooter.
You all are going to hell for gambling in the lord's house, Especially if you're dumb enough to play the field.
You ought to put your money on the pass line And back it up.
Sounds like you know how to play this game.
Better than that guy.
Got a spot at the end of the table for you.
You ladies are out of control.
Oh, my goodness! I can't believe I had to chase y'all down in that place.
We did not know it was a male erotic revue.
It was called "the strip steak.
" I believe mine was medium-rare.
Medium-rare! Enough of the fun.
All right? Give me back the jewels.
I'm surprised y'all didn't lose it.
No wipe off that coconut oil.
Thank you.
Lolli, thank you so much for letting us wear this.
It made us feel so special.
Lolli Where are your jewels? Very funny, pearly.
Mine are right It's not funny.
When was the last time you guys saw my necklace? Well, we weren't looking at you, sweetie.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
This is all bad! Boyce cannot find out about this.
We have to retrace our steps.
You don't have to ask me twice.
Come on, let's go! - Hey, lolli.
- Hey! So I'm done with rehearsal Now I'm off to play golf with mr.
Michael jordan.
Are these two behaving themselves? We are having a great time.
As a matter of fact, we're going out to look For some more great times.
More great times! Byebye! See ya! Tell michael I said hi.
Hey, daddy.
Where you been? Been down at the chapel all this time? Yeah, it was hard for me to tear myself away.
If elvis hadn't cleared the chapel to perform a wedding, I'd still be there.
This town is pure living evil.
Man, what's with you? Do you know they have a craps table right in the chapel? They call it "pray and play.
" That's funny.
"pray and play.
" That's pretty clever.
It's totally inappropriate.
I never should have come here.
I'm disgusted with myself.
Daddy, what are you talking about? I gambled.
I got sucked in by the devil's vacuum.
I mean, it's all right.
You placed a couple of bets, man.
God's not gonna strike you down for that.
I gambled with the church's money.
Okay, we might wanna step away from this window right now.
Now wait a minute.
You gambled, you? Oh, I gambled.
I threw the devil's bones.
And you played with the church's money? How much did you lose? Oh, I didn't lose.
I won.
$2,000.
The lord is not happy with me.
Well, I mean, I can understand why you're upset on one hand, But on the other hand, why are you upset? Son, I never told you this before, but When I was young, before I met your mother, I had a serious gambling problem.
I even ended up in gamblers anonymous.
Bunch of whiners.
Wow, I never knew that.
Dad, it's only human to have a weakness.
Don't try to comfort me.
I gotta find a way to get rid of this money.
Why do you have to get rid of it? Because it's ill-gotten gains, And I don't want my church to have anything to do with it.
What are you going to do, give it back to the casino? That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
It's bad money, and it's going back To the bad place that it came from.
Daddy, las vegas isn't that bad.
Now, ladies, ladies, remember.
No running around the pool.
Not so bad, huh? Oh, he like that everywhere.
Come on in, gentlemen.
Hey, henry, thank you so much for seeing us.
Look, we got a big problem, and you're not gonna believe it.
As a casino manager, trust me, I've heard it all.
What's the problem? Well, my daddy won $2,000, and he wants to give it back.
I never heard that one before.
Have a seat.
- All right.
You see, it just doesn't seem right For a preacher to be winning money, So I just wanna give it back and forget about it.
Give it back? To who? The casino.
You can't give money back to a casino.
How come? I don't know.
No one's ever done it before.
Well, can't he donate it back? You can't donate money to a casino.
You know how much trouble we'd be in If we took a gambler's winnings back? Maybe you can do some little creative accounting.
You mean cook the books? I'm just saying put a little seasoning salt on it.
This is las vegas, Not some crooked town of cheats and liars.
You know, as I was saying that, it just didn't feel right.
Look, henry, There's gotta be something you can do to help my father out.
He's fell off his spiritual wagon.
He's just becoming a regular lowlife.
Hey, son.
Look, the only way we can legally take his money back Is if he loses it.
Ah, I suppose I could bring a dealer up here, And you can play until you lose.
How do you know I'm gonna lose? Daddy, you know the slogan, "what happens in vegas stays in vegas?" They talking about your money too.
All right, this is an absolute nightmare.
We retraced our steps, And we went back everywhere we've been today.
oh, yeah, I'm sure if there was a diamond necklace just laying around Somebody would definitely turn it in to the lost and found.
Hey, lolli, I've been taking pictures To document our trip to vegas.
Now come here.
Here you are at the strip steak.
You're not wearing the necklace.
Here you are at cirque du soleil no necklace.
Here you are on the elevator on the way out.
- Look at that - No necklace.
It means it never left this room! Oh, my god, I love you, wanda! All right, that necklace is in this room.
We need to search every inch of this hotel suite.
Okay.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Remember him? - Ooh! - That was t-bone.
Oh! Praise the lord.
Ooh! Hot off the griddle.
Come on, daddy, just lose this money fast, all right? The award show starts in an hour.
All right, gentlemen, we are all set.
How much would you like to bet? How about $20? - $20? - I like to start small.
Daddy, the idea is to get rid of the money.
Oh, right.
100.
Look, he's all in for 2,000.
On the pass line.
- Six is the point.
- Six is the point, son.
Okay, I heard that.
I don't know what it means.
Six again! Look at that! Six the hard way! - 4,000.
- $4,000 you won? I always win.
It's my curse.
Let's parlay that.
Come on! Baby needs a new pair of shoes! What what baby, dad? - Winner! - Yo, 11! Whoo! - Daddy, what are you doing? - What am I doing? I'm winning, that's what I'm doing.
Again? I'm starting to think gambling was your real calling.
Let's spread that out.
Winner! 8,000.
Oh.
All right, that's enough.
This is ridiculous.
Enough.
Give me the dice.
We can turn that into 16,000.
Daddy, you need to step away.
Winner! $16,000.
Are you two hustling me? Uh, par parlay that.
You see what happens when the gambling spirit hits me? What in the blue blazes happened here? This room is trashed.
Somebody get me a ticket out of this town.
Hey, what's up, bro? Stamps, did you throw a party in this room? Party? I was out golfing with michael jordan.
What? Yeah, yeah, he called here looking for you And needed a fourth, so I took your place.
You know, the nicest guy, but terrible short game.
Oh, and look.
Free shoes! If you didn't have a party, Then what the hell happened in here? I don't know what happened.
You took wanda and pearly to the strip club, Ran out of money, and then lost the necklace? And I looked for it everywhere.
Daddy, everybody's downstairs waiting on you.
The award show's about to start.
All right, baby, look.
We'll look for it later, all right? But, boyce, the necklace cost $250,000, And you signed for it.
We gotta find that necklace.
Everybody spread out and start looking.
Any luck? All I found was a sucrets.
I don't know what I found, But I need some hand sanitizer now, really.
Housekeeping told me this room had been trashed.
What the hell happened? Okay, there's a perfectly good explanation.
How about I just pay you for the damages? Would$16,000 cover it? For 16,000, you can torch the place.
Y'all have fun now.
Babe I'm so sorry I made you miss your award show.
It's okay, babe.
You know, my real lifetime achievement award is right here.
Whoa! what's that poking me? You know what they are.
No, baby.
I think I found you necklace.
Right there in the carpool lane.
My necklace! Babe, how could you not fell that? I don't know.
I got a lot goin on down there.
It's a busy intersection.
Would you two like to be alone? Hey! dad, they are giving your award on TV.
Accepting the lifetime achievement award for Boyce Ballentine, his brother, Stance Ballentine.
What the I know if my brother was here today, he'd thank me, His brother, Stance Ballentine.
Oh, yeah.
I'll thank you, alright.
Where's my nine-eights?