The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008) s01e10 Episode Script
Persona
1
What'd I miss?
Aunt May, I can't believe
you don't have it on!
They discover alien life,
and you're not watching?
Oh, Peter, aliens
are bug-eyed monsters
who say, "Take me
to your leader."
This is a mud stain
on the space shuttle.
Not mud! Organic mud!
Living mud!
From outer space!
NASA's not
releasing images.
But if we zoom in
on this shot
of the shuttle
right there,
on the hull.
That dark patch is
extra-terrestrial life.
Primitive, obviously.
But organic.
Earlier today,
the alien life form
was flown to
Empire State University,
where it will be studied
by the country's top
bio-geneticist,
Dr. Curtis Connors.
Yes! An in!
I hope.
[PHONE RINGING]Hello? [LAUGHS]
That's right, bro,
the ooze has landed!
And Dr. C's
back in the game!
He's been kind of lost since,
you know, the lizard thing.
Discontinued
most of our research.
But we're back
in business again!
I have to see it!
Can you hook me up?
No go, bro.
Dr. Martha's spoken.
No visitors,
no reporters,
and for sure,
no photographers
she already knows
she can't trust.
PETER: As usual,
Peter Parker's
out of luck.
But maybe
Spider-Man's not.
After all,
Spidey's got
a zoom lens,
and the lab
has a skylight.
And now, a peek
at our strange visitor.
And our strange
visitor's visitor.
Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime
Spinning webs
Swingin' from
the highest ledge
He could leap
above our heads
Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized
Looking up
with no surprise
Arriving
in the speed of time
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
BLACK CAT: A school locker
has better security.
Perfect!
I stop a crime
in progress,
get pictures
for the Bugleof me
and a hot cat burglar
and slap my peepers
on the ooze! Hat trick!
Come to kitty.
Gee, I never thought
I'd be rescuing
the icky alien from
the beautiful damsel.
Well, I do believe
it's Spider-Man.
Easy, cat-lady.
I don't want a fight.
Name's Black Cat.
And cats don't fight
spiders.
[GRUNTS]
We just bat them around!
[ALARM RINGING]
Whoa!
Oh, you better not get
your goop in my hair.
Don't worry.
It comes off with ice
or peanut butter.
Lovely. You've got
a sweet little skill set
there, Spidey.
You want in on this gig?
We could split the take.
Gig? Take?
These words are
strange to me.
A certain captain of industry
offered an indecent amount
of cash to steal that slime.
Said something
about unlimited
scientific potential.
Are you sure
he was a full captain
of industry
and not some industrial cadet
showing off for the girls?
[SCOFFS] I know
when a man's
showing off.
So what
do you say,
hot stuff?
Want a slice
of the mud-pie?
It is tempting.
But then I'd have
to turn in my super-hero
discount card.
Mmm, too bad.
I like us together.
But we only just met.
And I'm not that
kind of spider.
Give a cat a chance,
and she'll make you
that kind of spider.
[CHUCKLES]
Stop. I'm blushing.
What in theDr. Connors!
[GRUNTING]
Two's company. Three's
a corroborating witness.
The life form!
Where is it?
Black Cat!
She must have
But how?
When? Call the cops!
I'll go after her!
[SIGHS] So much
for this gig.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]Bad kitty!
Maybe I can
still find her.
Oh, heck, I never even got
a good look at the gunk.
VENDOR: Read all about it!
Spider-Thief
and accomplice
steal ET!
And Spider-Man's
come in through
the skylight before?
Yes, but never
to steal anything.
I actually thought
Spidey was a hero.
And I actually thought
Pete was a human being!
But he was here
last night
taking pictures,
and couldn't
even be bothered
to call the police!
Don't bother, Gwen!
Bro had his
second chance.
I'm done!
Boss, I'd like a word!
How about "scram"?
Or two words, "Scram, kid"!
Or 17, "Get out of my office
in 2.3 seconds,
"or I'll staple you
to a flagpole!"
How did you count so
Uh, never mind.
I can't believe you're
printing flat-out lies!
Lies? You callow,
insubordinate pup!
The Bugle
only prints facts!
And whatever
it takes to connect
the facts together.
Yeah, but I was there,
uh, taking pictures
from the roof.
Spidey was trying
to stop Black Cat
from stealing the ooze!
She got away,
but they didn't
leave together.
Looked that way
to an amateur like you,
but it's standard
crook behavior.
They met up later
to divide the spoils.
Ask Dr. Connors!
He was there!
Last night?
Read the article, kid.
Connors didn't
discover the theft
till early this morning.
What?
Why would
Dr. Connors lie?
[CHUCKLES]
Spider-Man must be
quite confused
right about now.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello, General.
No, regretfully,
I have no alien
to deliver.
A known competitor
beat my team to the lab
by mere minutes.
Of course,
your down payment
will be refunded.
Goodbye.
So no paycheck?
No paycheck.
But this story
in the Bugle,
it's sparked an epiphany.
Mason, I need all
your mechanical ability.
And, Beck,
your special effects
expertise.
Yeah, so what else is new?
Which captain of industry
or high-ranking politico
you posing as this time,
Chameleon?
This time I have
someone a little
different in mind.
SPIDER-MAN: Black Cat
must have taken the muck.
Okay, so there's no proof
in any of my pictures,
but I know
I didn't take it!
And what's with Dr. C?
Spidey saved him
from a permanent case
of lizard-breath.
I mean, how could he betray
the old web-head that way?
And how am I ever
going to clear my friendly
neighborhood name?
SPIDER-MAN:
And the crazy thing?
They think I stole the alien.
I never even got
a good look at it!
Ooh, that's
a good look for you.
I'm flattered, truly.
See, I knew we made
a connection!
You! You're
the real thief.
[SCOFFS] Because
I stole your heart?
Heard it before, swinger.
What the heck?
I've been looking for you.
I know I don't like
being blamed for crimes
I didn't commit.
Or any crimes, really.
Bad for business.
So the frame-up
must really annoy
an ex-primary
color guy like you.
Huh? Uh, yeah.
You didn't steal
the ooze, did you?
You know I didn't,
short, dark
and handsome.
You were there.
So unless you took it
I didn't take it!
Calm down.
I didn't think so.
But if you're
fed up enough
with the thankless
hero thing
to match your image
to mine,
then I have to ask,
are we going to be
bad guys together,
partner?
Or just plain bad?
[CHUCKLES] Was it
something I said?
SPIDER-MAN: I guess
I found the ooze.
Or it found me.
Face it, Spidey.
Alien life has permanently
bonded itself to your suit.
Best case, you're in
for one monster of
a dry cleaning bill.
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
Perfect,
now I'm flying
a glider!
Gotta get to Central Park!
No!
Eddie and I lost our parents
in a plane just like that.
Whoa!
Can't believe
I made that leap.
I hope I'm
strong enough
for this.
[GRUNTING]
Trouble is,
I'm not close enough
to a building
for my web to carry.
Still, nothin' to lose.
How slick!
But did I do that,
or did the ooze
actually upgrade
my spider-ness?
Look out!Run!
SPIDER-MAN: If I could use
the ooze to help more people
as Spider-Man,
and, not incidentally,
earn a bit more photo money
as Peter Parker,
then maybe it's okay
that I, sort of,
unintentionally
stole the slime
from the Connors' lab,
and maybe it's better
for everyone
if I don't return it.
'Course, that's not
really my call.
But obviously,
it was the right call.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I could get
used to this.
Hey, Aunt May!
[GROANS]Aunt May,
what's wrong?
Oh, Peter, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
It was just the heat
from the stove.
And I am a little tired.
I'm not surprised.
You've been
cooking nonstop.
There's enough food here
to feed the Rhino.
[STAMMERING]
I'm testing recipes.
We can give the extra
to the food drive.
Come on.
Let's get you to bed.
[CAR ALARM RINGING]
Spider-Man
just robbed a bank!
FLASH: Cut it out!
Aw, what's
the matter,
Fwashie?
Does the twuth hurt?
[ALL LAUGHING]
It's not the twuth!
I mean, it's not true.
Hey, if it's Make
Fun of Flash Day,
how can I help?
Wittle Fwashie's mad
because his hewo
turned out to be
a big cwook!
I told you!
The guy in the pictures
ain't the real Spidey.
Any guy can put on
a costume.
Puny Parker wore
one last week!
SALLY: Can Puny Parker
stick to walls
and sling webs?
Face it, Flash.
The Buglehas undeniable
photographic evidence.
Forget the Bugle!
There's no way
I'm ever going
to believe
Spider-Man's
turned to crime!
Then you're the only one!
[LAUGHING]
CHAMELEON:
No sudden moves,
friends.
Your friendly
neighborhood web-shooter's
in a frisky mood!
[WHISPERS]
Behind you.
My insect early-warning
system's tingling!
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
Fill 'er up!
JAMESON:
Wonderful! Perfect!
Tomorrow's front page!
Mr. Jameson,
these pictures
Too late, Parker.
Got all the pictures
I could ask for.
Best of all,
Joe anonymous
is letting me
have 'em for free!
As I predicted,
the web-head's
turned out to be just
another thug in a mask.
Soon he'll be caught,
jailed and run out of town!
How can he be jailed
and run out of town?
I'm giddy as a schoolgirl.
SPIDER-MAN: [SIGHS]
Never thought I'd be on
the lookout for
Well, me.
Hey, crime-spree!
Was hoping you'd swing
this way again.
Cat! Listen,
I'm innocent!
Obviously. Doesn't that
imposter know black is
the new red and blue?
I'd turn him
black and blue
if I could find him.
Well, as it happens
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
How can you be so
sure he'll hit here?
I think like a thief.
A boat full
of overdressed
fat cats
is a can't-miss
proposition.
Wait.
Ooh.
Mayor Waters is wearing
the Stuyvesant Tiger!
[SIGHS] I want it.
Cat, no door prizes.
Try focusing
on how we get aboard.
Please,
I'm a professional.
I come prepared.
Hello! So glad
you could make it!
I'm wearing a fortune
in borrowed jewels, Captain.
Let's get this boat moving
before a certain arachnid
decides to crash my party.
I still don't buy it,
Your Honor.
I've seen Spider-Man
in action.
I can't believe
he's turned to crime.
Believe it, Stacy!
The Bugle'sbeen
saying for weeks
the web-head's a fraud.
Now that I'm proven right,
I assume you've taken
the proper precautions.
GEORGE: Don't worry, Jonah.
My officers
are all on alert
for Spider-Man.
Besides, if he was coming,
he's too late now.
[CHATTERING]
Hors d'oeuvres,
Your Honor?
Norman!
Wonderful of you
to come.
Are you happy to see me,
or my contribution?
And if my answer
is "both"?
Then I'm investing
in an honest politician.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Demitasse, Sergeant?
SPIDER-MAN: Sweet ride!
Haven't you heard?
Crime pays!
I'm not listening.
[HUMMING]
[CHUCKLES]
Almost there.
Hold on tight!
Don't worry.
I don't slip.
Not why I said that.
[STAMMERING]
Uh, we're close enough.
Ooh, my kitty sense
is purring.
[MAN SNORING]
Guess Cat was right.
And so I raise my glass
to thank you
for all your support.
And after the election
your city will
thank you, too.
[ALL GASPING]
As will your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Thief!
[ALL EXCLAIMING]I knew it!
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
CHAMELEON:
Fill 'em up, folks!
Take him!
[SNORING]
Your Honor,
if you hold that
Tiger too tight,
I bite!
He's too tall.
This guy's a fraud.
Spider-Man is not a fraud!
Can't believe
I just said that.
[WHISPERS]
Behind you.
[GRUNTING]
That's spider
strength, people.
Think I can fake that?
SPIDER-MAN:
Actually, I do.
And who are you
supposed to be?
Spider-Man.
The real one.
The real one?
You don't even have
the costume right!
I'm in mourning
for my buried rep.
[GRUNTING]
Just like picklepuss
will be when he's forced
to print a retraction.
Retraction!
Listen, web-head,
nobody tells J. Jonah
See? Even
the jolly one
himself knows
I'm the genuine article!
[GRUNTING]
Now that's
spider strength!
Accept no substitutes.
Demitasse,
Spider-Man?
[ALL COUGHING]
MAYOR: They took the tiger!
We need to go!
Incoming!
[BOTH GASPING]
We'll let them
settle this
Spider-Man
to Spider-Man.
[PUNCHES LANDING]
Thanks, Cat,
I owe you one!
At least.
Whoa!
Wow. A new onesie.
I can feel it
balancing me.
Compensating for the boat,
the water, everything.
How about a taste
of spider punch?
Please tell me
I don't sound
like that!
Or at least that I offer
a higher quality quip.
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMING]
The one and only,
got it.
My hero.
You heard me,
a retraction!
[WHISPERING]
But on Page 42.
In four-point font.
[CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO]
I'm satisfied
you're innocent,
Spider-Man.
We'll find out
what Chameleon did
with the ET.
Actually, I sort of
SPIDER-MAN:
What are you doing?
You tell the truth
and they'll take
the suit away,
and you need
its power
to help people.
I sort of figured
you'd say that.
Then I'll say this, too.
As long
as you wear a mask,
some folks will
always wonder.
Night, Captain.Captain Stacy!
The tiger!
It's not here!
All right, Chameleon!
Where's the
[MUFFLED YELLING]
We made
a pretty good team.
Maybe you should
change sides.
Okay, then why
did you help me?
You really don't know?
Mmm.Oh.
[SIGHS]
Wow, Cat.
I had no idea you
felt that way.
Um, Cat?
Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
[GROANING]
What'd I miss?
Aunt May, I can't believe
you don't have it on!
They discover alien life,
and you're not watching?
Oh, Peter, aliens
are bug-eyed monsters
who say, "Take me
to your leader."
This is a mud stain
on the space shuttle.
Not mud! Organic mud!
Living mud!
From outer space!
NASA's not
releasing images.
But if we zoom in
on this shot
of the shuttle
right there,
on the hull.
That dark patch is
extra-terrestrial life.
Primitive, obviously.
But organic.
Earlier today,
the alien life form
was flown to
Empire State University,
where it will be studied
by the country's top
bio-geneticist,
Dr. Curtis Connors.
Yes! An in!
I hope.
[PHONE RINGING]Hello? [LAUGHS]
That's right, bro,
the ooze has landed!
And Dr. C's
back in the game!
He's been kind of lost since,
you know, the lizard thing.
Discontinued
most of our research.
But we're back
in business again!
I have to see it!
Can you hook me up?
No go, bro.
Dr. Martha's spoken.
No visitors,
no reporters,
and for sure,
no photographers
she already knows
she can't trust.
PETER: As usual,
Peter Parker's
out of luck.
But maybe
Spider-Man's not.
After all,
Spidey's got
a zoom lens,
and the lab
has a skylight.
And now, a peek
at our strange visitor.
And our strange
visitor's visitor.
Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime
Spinning webs
Swingin' from
the highest ledge
He could leap
above our heads
Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized
Looking up
with no surprise
Arriving
in the speed of time
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
BLACK CAT: A school locker
has better security.
Perfect!
I stop a crime
in progress,
get pictures
for the Bugleof me
and a hot cat burglar
and slap my peepers
on the ooze! Hat trick!
Come to kitty.
Gee, I never thought
I'd be rescuing
the icky alien from
the beautiful damsel.
Well, I do believe
it's Spider-Man.
Easy, cat-lady.
I don't want a fight.
Name's Black Cat.
And cats don't fight
spiders.
[GRUNTS]
We just bat them around!
[ALARM RINGING]
Whoa!
Oh, you better not get
your goop in my hair.
Don't worry.
It comes off with ice
or peanut butter.
Lovely. You've got
a sweet little skill set
there, Spidey.
You want in on this gig?
We could split the take.
Gig? Take?
These words are
strange to me.
A certain captain of industry
offered an indecent amount
of cash to steal that slime.
Said something
about unlimited
scientific potential.
Are you sure
he was a full captain
of industry
and not some industrial cadet
showing off for the girls?
[SCOFFS] I know
when a man's
showing off.
So what
do you say,
hot stuff?
Want a slice
of the mud-pie?
It is tempting.
But then I'd have
to turn in my super-hero
discount card.
Mmm, too bad.
I like us together.
But we only just met.
And I'm not that
kind of spider.
Give a cat a chance,
and she'll make you
that kind of spider.
[CHUCKLES]
Stop. I'm blushing.
What in theDr. Connors!
[GRUNTING]
Two's company. Three's
a corroborating witness.
The life form!
Where is it?
Black Cat!
She must have
But how?
When? Call the cops!
I'll go after her!
[SIGHS] So much
for this gig.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]Bad kitty!
Maybe I can
still find her.
Oh, heck, I never even got
a good look at the gunk.
VENDOR: Read all about it!
Spider-Thief
and accomplice
steal ET!
And Spider-Man's
come in through
the skylight before?
Yes, but never
to steal anything.
I actually thought
Spidey was a hero.
And I actually thought
Pete was a human being!
But he was here
last night
taking pictures,
and couldn't
even be bothered
to call the police!
Don't bother, Gwen!
Bro had his
second chance.
I'm done!
Boss, I'd like a word!
How about "scram"?
Or two words, "Scram, kid"!
Or 17, "Get out of my office
in 2.3 seconds,
"or I'll staple you
to a flagpole!"
How did you count so
Uh, never mind.
I can't believe you're
printing flat-out lies!
Lies? You callow,
insubordinate pup!
The Bugle
only prints facts!
And whatever
it takes to connect
the facts together.
Yeah, but I was there,
uh, taking pictures
from the roof.
Spidey was trying
to stop Black Cat
from stealing the ooze!
She got away,
but they didn't
leave together.
Looked that way
to an amateur like you,
but it's standard
crook behavior.
They met up later
to divide the spoils.
Ask Dr. Connors!
He was there!
Last night?
Read the article, kid.
Connors didn't
discover the theft
till early this morning.
What?
Why would
Dr. Connors lie?
[CHUCKLES]
Spider-Man must be
quite confused
right about now.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello, General.
No, regretfully,
I have no alien
to deliver.
A known competitor
beat my team to the lab
by mere minutes.
Of course,
your down payment
will be refunded.
Goodbye.
So no paycheck?
No paycheck.
But this story
in the Bugle,
it's sparked an epiphany.
Mason, I need all
your mechanical ability.
And, Beck,
your special effects
expertise.
Yeah, so what else is new?
Which captain of industry
or high-ranking politico
you posing as this time,
Chameleon?
This time I have
someone a little
different in mind.
SPIDER-MAN: Black Cat
must have taken the muck.
Okay, so there's no proof
in any of my pictures,
but I know
I didn't take it!
And what's with Dr. C?
Spidey saved him
from a permanent case
of lizard-breath.
I mean, how could he betray
the old web-head that way?
And how am I ever
going to clear my friendly
neighborhood name?
SPIDER-MAN:
And the crazy thing?
They think I stole the alien.
I never even got
a good look at it!
Ooh, that's
a good look for you.
I'm flattered, truly.
See, I knew we made
a connection!
You! You're
the real thief.
[SCOFFS] Because
I stole your heart?
Heard it before, swinger.
What the heck?
I've been looking for you.
I know I don't like
being blamed for crimes
I didn't commit.
Or any crimes, really.
Bad for business.
So the frame-up
must really annoy
an ex-primary
color guy like you.
Huh? Uh, yeah.
You didn't steal
the ooze, did you?
You know I didn't,
short, dark
and handsome.
You were there.
So unless you took it
I didn't take it!
Calm down.
I didn't think so.
But if you're
fed up enough
with the thankless
hero thing
to match your image
to mine,
then I have to ask,
are we going to be
bad guys together,
partner?
Or just plain bad?
[CHUCKLES] Was it
something I said?
SPIDER-MAN: I guess
I found the ooze.
Or it found me.
Face it, Spidey.
Alien life has permanently
bonded itself to your suit.
Best case, you're in
for one monster of
a dry cleaning bill.
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
Perfect,
now I'm flying
a glider!
Gotta get to Central Park!
No!
Eddie and I lost our parents
in a plane just like that.
Whoa!
Can't believe
I made that leap.
I hope I'm
strong enough
for this.
[GRUNTING]
Trouble is,
I'm not close enough
to a building
for my web to carry.
Still, nothin' to lose.
How slick!
But did I do that,
or did the ooze
actually upgrade
my spider-ness?
Look out!Run!
SPIDER-MAN: If I could use
the ooze to help more people
as Spider-Man,
and, not incidentally,
earn a bit more photo money
as Peter Parker,
then maybe it's okay
that I, sort of,
unintentionally
stole the slime
from the Connors' lab,
and maybe it's better
for everyone
if I don't return it.
'Course, that's not
really my call.
But obviously,
it was the right call.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I could get
used to this.
Hey, Aunt May!
[GROANS]Aunt May,
what's wrong?
Oh, Peter, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
It was just the heat
from the stove.
And I am a little tired.
I'm not surprised.
You've been
cooking nonstop.
There's enough food here
to feed the Rhino.
[STAMMERING]
I'm testing recipes.
We can give the extra
to the food drive.
Come on.
Let's get you to bed.
[CAR ALARM RINGING]
Spider-Man
just robbed a bank!
FLASH: Cut it out!
Aw, what's
the matter,
Fwashie?
Does the twuth hurt?
[ALL LAUGHING]
It's not the twuth!
I mean, it's not true.
Hey, if it's Make
Fun of Flash Day,
how can I help?
Wittle Fwashie's mad
because his hewo
turned out to be
a big cwook!
I told you!
The guy in the pictures
ain't the real Spidey.
Any guy can put on
a costume.
Puny Parker wore
one last week!
SALLY: Can Puny Parker
stick to walls
and sling webs?
Face it, Flash.
The Buglehas undeniable
photographic evidence.
Forget the Bugle!
There's no way
I'm ever going
to believe
Spider-Man's
turned to crime!
Then you're the only one!
[LAUGHING]
CHAMELEON:
No sudden moves,
friends.
Your friendly
neighborhood web-shooter's
in a frisky mood!
[WHISPERS]
Behind you.
My insect early-warning
system's tingling!
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
Fill 'er up!
JAMESON:
Wonderful! Perfect!
Tomorrow's front page!
Mr. Jameson,
these pictures
Too late, Parker.
Got all the pictures
I could ask for.
Best of all,
Joe anonymous
is letting me
have 'em for free!
As I predicted,
the web-head's
turned out to be just
another thug in a mask.
Soon he'll be caught,
jailed and run out of town!
How can he be jailed
and run out of town?
I'm giddy as a schoolgirl.
SPIDER-MAN: [SIGHS]
Never thought I'd be on
the lookout for
Well, me.
Hey, crime-spree!
Was hoping you'd swing
this way again.
Cat! Listen,
I'm innocent!
Obviously. Doesn't that
imposter know black is
the new red and blue?
I'd turn him
black and blue
if I could find him.
Well, as it happens
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
How can you be so
sure he'll hit here?
I think like a thief.
A boat full
of overdressed
fat cats
is a can't-miss
proposition.
Wait.
Ooh.
Mayor Waters is wearing
the Stuyvesant Tiger!
[SIGHS] I want it.
Cat, no door prizes.
Try focusing
on how we get aboard.
Please,
I'm a professional.
I come prepared.
Hello! So glad
you could make it!
I'm wearing a fortune
in borrowed jewels, Captain.
Let's get this boat moving
before a certain arachnid
decides to crash my party.
I still don't buy it,
Your Honor.
I've seen Spider-Man
in action.
I can't believe
he's turned to crime.
Believe it, Stacy!
The Bugle'sbeen
saying for weeks
the web-head's a fraud.
Now that I'm proven right,
I assume you've taken
the proper precautions.
GEORGE: Don't worry, Jonah.
My officers
are all on alert
for Spider-Man.
Besides, if he was coming,
he's too late now.
[CHATTERING]
Hors d'oeuvres,
Your Honor?
Norman!
Wonderful of you
to come.
Are you happy to see me,
or my contribution?
And if my answer
is "both"?
Then I'm investing
in an honest politician.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Demitasse, Sergeant?
SPIDER-MAN: Sweet ride!
Haven't you heard?
Crime pays!
I'm not listening.
[HUMMING]
[CHUCKLES]
Almost there.
Hold on tight!
Don't worry.
I don't slip.
Not why I said that.
[STAMMERING]
Uh, we're close enough.
Ooh, my kitty sense
is purring.
[MAN SNORING]
Guess Cat was right.
And so I raise my glass
to thank you
for all your support.
And after the election
your city will
thank you, too.
[ALL GASPING]
As will your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Thief!
[ALL EXCLAIMING]I knew it!
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
CHAMELEON:
Fill 'em up, folks!
Take him!
[SNORING]
Your Honor,
if you hold that
Tiger too tight,
I bite!
He's too tall.
This guy's a fraud.
Spider-Man is not a fraud!
Can't believe
I just said that.
[WHISPERS]
Behind you.
[GRUNTING]
That's spider
strength, people.
Think I can fake that?
SPIDER-MAN:
Actually, I do.
And who are you
supposed to be?
Spider-Man.
The real one.
The real one?
You don't even have
the costume right!
I'm in mourning
for my buried rep.
[GRUNTING]
Just like picklepuss
will be when he's forced
to print a retraction.
Retraction!
Listen, web-head,
nobody tells J. Jonah
See? Even
the jolly one
himself knows
I'm the genuine article!
[GRUNTING]
Now that's
spider strength!
Accept no substitutes.
Demitasse,
Spider-Man?
[ALL COUGHING]
MAYOR: They took the tiger!
We need to go!
Incoming!
[BOTH GASPING]
We'll let them
settle this
Spider-Man
to Spider-Man.
[PUNCHES LANDING]
Thanks, Cat,
I owe you one!
At least.
Whoa!
Wow. A new onesie.
I can feel it
balancing me.
Compensating for the boat,
the water, everything.
How about a taste
of spider punch?
Please tell me
I don't sound
like that!
Or at least that I offer
a higher quality quip.
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMING]
The one and only,
got it.
My hero.
You heard me,
a retraction!
[WHISPERING]
But on Page 42.
In four-point font.
[CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO]
I'm satisfied
you're innocent,
Spider-Man.
We'll find out
what Chameleon did
with the ET.
Actually, I sort of
SPIDER-MAN:
What are you doing?
You tell the truth
and they'll take
the suit away,
and you need
its power
to help people.
I sort of figured
you'd say that.
Then I'll say this, too.
As long
as you wear a mask,
some folks will
always wonder.
Night, Captain.Captain Stacy!
The tiger!
It's not here!
All right, Chameleon!
Where's the
[MUFFLED YELLING]
We made
a pretty good team.
Maybe you should
change sides.
Okay, then why
did you help me?
You really don't know?
Mmm.Oh.
[SIGHS]
Wow, Cat.
I had no idea you
felt that way.
Um, Cat?
Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
[GROANING]