The Wonder Years (2021) s01e10 Episode Script

1 Adult Dean: One of the great things about my mom was how much she invested in us when we were little.
Imagine me and you, I do She was like that for all of us.
I think about you day and night But she and Kim had things in common that she didn't have with me and my brother Bruce.
A few years later, Bruce and I destroyed that tea set wrestling around in the family room.
Kim adored mama.
She wanted to be just like her.
And mama loved the special bond they shared.
Then the teen years hit.
You think I'm gonna wear this? - Am I moving to a convent? - No.
ADULT DEAN: It started out as fights about clothes.
Then makeup, then curfew.
Pretty soon it felt like they were fighting about everything.
My dad understood this was a typical pattern for girls and their moms.
Unfortunately, I didn't.
This is so crazy.
They argue so much 'cause they're just alike.
[Sighs.]
ADULT DEAN: Like my dad, I eventually learned to stay out of it.
That's just the way things were.
KIM: So what? I missed one meeting.
I was tired.
Stop making a big deal about this.
It is a big deal.
You can't just miss a meeting with a college recruiter because you felt tired.
When I was applying, I met with every recruiter I could, whether I felt like it or not.
I know.
And your applications were perfect, and your interviews were perfect, and your GPA Was not perfect.
I made a "B.
" Once.
I've told you a million times, I'm not sure I even want to go to college.
Bill, you'd better get your daughter.
ADULT DEAN: Kim and I both knew that if mom referred to us as our father's children, we needed to be out of range of anything she could throw.
College is my decision, not yours.
[Door slams.]
[Sighs.]
Go ahead.
Slam another door.
[Sighs.]
[Laughter.]
BILL: Ah, there you go.
Dean! Come get a couple cokes for me and Mr.
Long.
ADULT DEAN: In the south, everything was called a "coke," but I knew what my dad actually wanted was a ginger ale.
And Cory knew his dad was asking for a grape soda.
But, dad, you're closer to the fridge than we are.
Boy, go get us some cokes and don't talk back.
What? I didn't even say nothing.
Can you believe that? When I was coming up, you'd never question an adult.
And if you did, you'd wake up in the middle of next week.
Mm.
Well, he's not half as bad as Kim.
Jesus, keep me near the cross.
Ooh, yeah.
I heard about your little door-slamming fix.
Yeah, we're, uh, remodeling our sun porch, so if you want to come rip some more doors off, come right on over.
- [Laughter.]
- I'm serious.
I don't know what to do with that girl.
I mean, she's talking back and [sighs.]
Headed off at all hours of the night to god knows where, and don't get me started about that boy she's seeing again.
- Kwame.
- Albert.
Then she had the nerve to say she may not go to college.
I think she's getting it from that crowd she's been hanging out with.
They're putting things in her head.
I hear you.
That's why we're thinking about putting our Cory into lads and ladies.
Yeah, we want to get him around some children with some good families that share the same values that we do.
We talked about joining when they were starting that local chapter a few years back.
Remember, Bill? Yeah, but I'm not sure we're lads and ladies-type people.
We do all right, but we're not fancy like they are.
You mean like us? Now, we can get up and get into our brand-new Cadillac out front and leave.
Don't get your 'fro all bent out of shape, Mr.
Rockefeller.
You're not going anywhere with us sitting on ten books over here.
Yeah, you right about that.
[Laughter.]
VIVIAN: Now, fancy or not, you should think about it.
Dean and Kim would be around the right kind of kids.
And you wouldn't have to worry so much about the "kwames" of the world.
Maybe we should give them another look.
- What do you say? - I say anything that keeps that girl on the straight and narrow and off my last nerve is a good thing.
Well, while y'all think about the lads and ladies, I'mma go ahead and cut this with a lad of my own.
Ha-hey! Ha-ha! Whoo! Oh, oh, oh And I know Ohh Through the highs and the lows LILLIAN: You know how important first impressions are.
I want everyone at lads and ladies to know how special you are.
Roll those eyes again, and I'll make sure they get stuck that way.
Now, act smart, well-spoken, well-mannered in front of the adults.
Be respectful and remember to show that you're up on current events.
ADULT DEAN: Current events? I was 12.
I thought a Dixiecrat was a new kind of sundae at dairy queen.
What's the point of this lads and ladies thing? I mean, I already have friends, and I don't have to dress up to go see them.
It's an organization made up of prominent families who do really good work in our community.
These are the type of successful people I want you to be around, so I need you two to be on your best behavior.
ADULT DEAN: Mama was always giving us speeches about being on our best behavior in public and representing our family well.
What was she afraid we were gonna do? [Sneezes, belches.]
Black! Blackness! Vietnam! [Rifle cocks.]
Lil, there's nothing left to fix on the boy.
- Let's go.
- Dad, it's a Saturday.
It's the only day I get to watch cartoons.
Why can't I stay home while you guys go? You know this is a family event.
- Now get in the car.
- But why? The only reason we're going is because you're afraid that Kim's gonna fall into the wrong crowd and not go to college.
Is that why we've gotten so bourgeois all of a sudden? 'Cause you're trying to run my life? Young lady, as long as you're in this house, you'll do as your mother and I say.
And I say lads and ladies is a classist organization that only exists to reinforce the patriarchy.
Those are some mighty good sat words for someone who don't want to go to college.
Ugh.
The point is it's my decision.
Didn't your father just tell you who makes the decisions in this house? And you better come on ADULT DEAN: Yeah, this was a fight.
But just like other families, we knew how to turn it on when it counted.
[Indistinct conversations.]
VIVIAN: I'll be back for that recipe.
Oh, ooh! You all look wonderful! - Mwah.
Mwah.
- [Vivian and Lillian giggle.]
Oh, now, I've almost met everybody here, so I can introduce you.
Now, right over there, that's Dorothy Payton.
This is her home, and she is the head of the selection committee, so you'll want to be nice to her.
Oh, I'm nice to everybody.
- Hmph.
- Don't you start.
So you ready to go over to meet Dorothy? Um ADULT DEAN: I didn't understand why at the time, but mama looked nervous.
Dad noticed too, but him being a man in the 1960s, he didn't know exactly what to say either, so he went with his old standby.
Uh, you look very pretty, sweetie.
[Chuckles softly.]
Thank you, Bill.
Oh, my.
This is like sorority rush all over again.
[Inhales deeply.]
Okay, let's go.
Dorothy! [Chuckles.]
I would like to introduce you to my dear friend Lillian Williams.
Oh, hello.
And these are her children, Dean and Kim.
Such a pleasure to meet you, Mrs.
Payton.
ADULT DEAN: Kim was gonna be on her best behavior like mama asked, but she was still gonna do it in a way that embarrassed her.
Thank you, Kim.
Please get up.
[Laughter.]
I am so surprised that our paths haven't crossed before now.
You know, Vivian and I know a lot of the same people.
Would I have seen you at one of the fundraising luncheons for the NAACP? No, I don't think so.
Oh, well, do you do anything with the women's auxiliary group at the boys & girls club? Wait, I know.
Bridge club.
[Both chuckle.]
I'm afraid not.
I-I work during the day, so I don't get to attend many luncheons and club meetings.
[Chuckles.]
I'm an accountant at the state's department of treasury.
Interesting! Lillian here went to grad school for her M.
S.
Now, I just stopped at my M-R-S.
- [Laughs.]
- Didn't we all? - Oh! - [Laughter.]
Now, tell me about that recipe.
ADULT DEAN: Thankfully, I saw Cory.
I'd just do whatever he did, like I do in school when I didn't fit in.
And on the baseball team.
And in church [Chuckling.]
Man, pretty soon, I'm gonna have to pay Cory a retainer.
I am so happy to see you, man.
I don't know what to say to these cats.
They're They're different.
NELSON: Uh, no.
They're gonna have to scrap the Apollo 7 with all the problems with the Apollo 6.
That's not what "time" magazine said, Nelson.
ADULT DEAN: A bunch of black kids talking about space missions? This felt unfamiliar yet familiar.
Could I be In my element? You know, my man Dean knows everything about science.
Tell them about your new chemistry set.
Yeah, well, I did get the new skilcraft chem-master set - for my birthday.
- What? I thought that was for kids 16 and over.
The government makes them put it on the box.
Yeah, it does have some serious chemicals, but, uh I can make a stink bomb.
Stink bombs are so cool.
How do you make one? ADULT DEAN: I found my tribe! I had a feeling I'd never had before Confidence! And so I said, "then, do you pee outside?" [Laughter.]
You were right, Dean.
It was a thinker.
Hey, Dean, are you coming to the planetarium with us next week? Uh, I hope so.
I mean, I love the planetarium.
Dean can name all eight planets.
ADULT DEAN: Cory was wrong then, but he turned out to be right thanks to an absolutely fascinating string of discoveries.
Yeah, still a nerd.
ADULT DEAN: Now that I was all in with these lads and ladies kids, I didn't want Kim's funky attitude to mess it all up for me.
- What? - Okay, I need a favor.
I'll do all your chores for a week if you tell mom you want to come to every lads and ladies event.
Okay.
ADULT DEAN: Man, that was easy! Too easy.
It is so cool that Howard has a major in afro-American studies.
It's not just a major anymore.
They started a whole new department.
There was a bit of a student takeover, if you will.
If I do decide to go to college, I got to go someplace with a progressive curriculum, you dig? [Chuckles.]
Right on, sister! You know, you should really come to our college information meeting.
You'd definitely dig that.
ADULT DEAN: What? Kim was having a good time? Man, I played myself.
I was gonna have to do a week of Kim's chores for nothing.
Dammit.
Wait, you're talking about Nat king Cole? - The Nat King Cole? - The one and only.
- Ooh.
- [Laughter.]
Now, I'm not saying Nat's band was into wild stuff, but let's just say this cocktail waitress and her friends Hey, Bill.
Bill.
Oh.
Hey, Dean.
ADULT DEAN: I can't tell you how many times I heard my dad almost finish that story.
Mom says it's time to go.
Hey, it was really good meeting you, Bill.
And I'll be listening for your song on the radio.
Hey, give me a call about the club in Birmingham.
The owner, he's always looking for a good band.
I definitely will.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah.
Hey, us lads and ladies folk, we take care of each other.
Dean, tell your mama I'll be there in a minute.
It was so nice meeting you, Lillian.
We really look forward to seeing you and your children at the rest of our events for prospective families.
Well, we really look forward to being involved.
- See you next time.
- All right.
Bye, Vivian.
Bye.
[Giggling.]
Did you hear what she said about "good hair"? Like anybody's hair could stay good out in this type of humidity for hours.
I did.
It was right after she said, "we only take a certain type of family into lads and ladies.
" I see a whole lot of milk chocolate out here and not a lot of dark chocolate.
- Hm.
- [Sighs.]
Well, there go my boys.
[Giggles.]
See you later, girl.
This wasn't as bad as I thought.
I actually met some guys who had excellent taste in music.
[Chuckles.]
Meaning they heard your record? Yep.
Real good taste.
Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes.
You don't sound happy.
I'm afraid they might be living up to their reputation, if you know what I mean.
Somebody say something? Well, it's not like they pulled out a brown paper bag or anything, but it was just a lot of comments about looking for lads and ladies type of people.
Well, you let me know what you want to do.
As long as it's good for Dean and Kim, we'll stick with the process.
ADULT DEAN: That was great news because I'd promised a stink bomb, and I'm a man of my word! Bill: Dean! Kim! Let's go! - Ooh! - Hey, Dean, come on.
Oh, well, looks like we were wrong about the whole thing.
[Both chuckle.]
Looks like we're still in the running, girl.
So what you gonna wear to Dorothy's luncheon tomorrow? What luncheon? You know, the one for all the moms.
Oh.
Lil, I'm so sorry.
I Don't worry about it.
I'm glad they invited you.
At least now we know it's not about complexion.
Well, it probably was just an oversight.
I'll talk to Dorothy.
No, don't worry about it.
And feel free to go without me.
[Chuckles.]
Girl, now, you You know I was still going.
[Chuckles.]
I'm not gonna have no fun, though.
30 minutes.
Come on.
[Sighs.]
[Indistinct conversations, laughter.]
Hey, I'm not gonna lie.
I felt a little left out last time, so I spent all night studying up on the planets.
Did you know that Pluto is so far out there that from there, the sun just looks like a regular star? Also, did you know that we have a library by where we live? ADULT DEAN: Wait a minute, Cory's an astronomer all of a sudden? Hey, you know how sports is your thing? Mm-hmm.
Maybe leave the planets to me.
Okay.
Unless there's a cute girl out there.
Then the Pluto thing's coming back out.
ADULT DEAN: Cory was probably the only kid in the world who could make a pick-up line about Pluto work.
Man: Let's begin this trip by looking at the solar system with the largest object in our solar system, our sun.
The Sun is a star When we get back outside, I'll set it off in the parking lot.
Ooh-hoo-hoo, this is gonna be great.
Let me see it.
No.
MAN: In February of 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh.
Did you know that Pluto was so far - [Sniffing.]
- Ew.
[People coughing.]
[Indistinct chatter.]
[Car door opens, closes.]
What happened? A stink bomb went off but Dean had nothing to do with it.
Yeah, we, uh, had to miss the rest of the exhibition.
Uh, do you think we could come back next weekend? We'll see.
ADULT DEAN: Something about that look on my mom's face made me worried that she wasn't buying it.
But soon I would realize what she had on her mind wasn't about me.
Dorothy.
[Chuckles.]
Do you mind if I ask you a question? Vivian was telling me about a luncheon, and I hadn't heard anything about it.
Is it an official event? Because if so, I'd hate to miss it.
Oh.
It's on a weekday and I didn't think you'd be able to attend.
I imagine you have so much on your plate with all your numbers and meetings and things.
Thank you for your concern, but I would find the time.
Oh, I would never ask you to do that! But a lot of our meetings and get-togethers do happen during the afternoon, and I'd imagine that participating would be difficult for someone with a career.
Well, I would find a way to contribute.
Just like the other working mothers of lads and ladies.
We don't Haven't had many like you in our chapter.
Well, I hope this won't affect your decision on membership.
When it comes to doing what's good for my family, I always find a way to work things out.
I'm sure you do your best.
We won't decide about membership until after the spring gala.
It's at night, so I'm sure you'll be able to make it.
ADULT DEAN: It would be a few decades before I learned the name for it, but outside that planetarium was the first time I witnessed the phenomenon known as "shade.
" ADULT DEAN: Something about my mom's silence on that ride home made me feel that my reign as the king of the lads and ladies kids was in peril.
Since this whole thing was about Kim, I decided it was up to her to fix it.
KIM: No, the other kids are actually pretty cool, and my dress for their party is boss.
Look, I got to go.
There's a pest in my room.
- [Sighs.]
What? - So you know how mom was worried that we would do something to blow our chances into getting into lads and ladies? Well, I think the real problem might be her.
- What are you talking about? - She didn't get invited to the lunches with the other moms, and when she asked miss Dorothy about it, they got into this big fight, which wasn't really a fight, but it kinda was.
Hm.
If they have issue with you being a working mom, maybe they're not the right group for us.
Tell them to kick rocks.
You have plenty of friends.
This is not about me.
It's like we said, it's about this being a good thing for the kids.
So it is true? We're not getting in? Great.
I found this dress and got excited about this gala for nothing.
Well, I'm honestly not sure about our chances.
It'll be their loss, Lil.
Those women ain't got nothing on you.
A bunch of jealous hens, you ask me.
Can't you just do what you always tell me to do when people don't like me? Show them why you're special.
Ask them about themselves.
Tell a joke.
I got some good ones you can use.
I just hate the idea of you guys missing out - because of my choices.
- What? The only thing they missed out on is a smaller house and only one car.
Dean, I'm sure there are times that you wish I was doing things like volunteering more at your school.
Yeah, but that was only because when miss Vivian did it, she would give Cory extra cookies and he'd get to go home early.
Well, Kim, Lord knows I miss the times when I wasn't working as much and we did everything together.
Well, that wasn't your fault.
We don't want you to quit your job, mama.
Oh, I'm not quitting.
We are going to that spring gala, and we're gonna do what we always do.
Be who we are and hope for the best.
That's right.
Nobody else is gonna talk about how Kim's dress is cut too low? I can see the girl's heart beating.
Daddy! Ugh! You better be walking off to get another dress.
[Indistinct conversations.]
Welcome to the Montgomery chapter of Lads and Ladies' bi-annual spring gala.
[Applause.]
Now it's time to meet the fine young people eligible to be presented at next year's debutante cotillion.
These groups are both current and prospective lads and ladies members.
First, miss Sandra Diane Henderson [Applause.]
a senior at Bill, do you see Kim? She's probably in the bathroom hogging the mirror.
She can do that for hours.
DOROTHY: Thank you, Catherine.
Isn't she so lovely? [Applause.]
And next we have miss Kimberly Lanette Williams.
Kim is a junior at [People gasp.]
ADULT DEAN: While everyone else wore their formal gowns, Kim busted out one of mama's business suits and strutted her stuff like when they played dress-up back in the day.
She made a real statement that night.
At first, we didn't know how to react, but the look on mom's face made everything we'd gone through worthwhile.
[Light applause.]
Unfortunately, Nelson also wanted to make a statement.
He copied my stink bomb formula.
[People coughing.]
But I felt heartened knowing that my influence would live on.
DOROTHY: Everyone, everyone, please, remain Why you wearing a Tuskegee sweater when we're going to visit Howard? Howard is not the only school around.
Besides, Tuskegee's on the way.
Fine.
But I'm driving.
[Scoffs.]
No! But you can pick the music, though.
[Engine starts.]
[Horn honks.]
Ooh, I don't care if the whole, wide world knows I want to tell them just what I feel They're gonna have a good time? Yes, they will.
With just a little bit of bloodshed.
I wanna tell it like a feel