Unsupervised (2012) s01e10 Episode Script

1 This is bullshit! It is a damn blood drive, and you're refusing the blood that's being offered to you? That just don't make mental sense.
People are dying right now, Principal Stark, and our blood could save 'em.
But you're saying it's not good enough? It has nothing to do with the quality of your blood.
You're not old enough.
You have to be 17 to donate.
Now I'm even more confused.
"Why'd my spouse die, Doctor? Was the blood not good enough?" "No, it was actually the best blood I ever seen.
The donor'd been eating double his daily dose of cereal for extra vitamins and minerals.
" "But we couldn't take the blood because of a stupid rule made by some jag-off.
" Do you see how that don't add up? Look, if it makes you feel any better I wasn't able to donate either.
They couldn't find my veins.
Your veins disappeared? They shrunk.
Everything does as you get older.
Your mind.
Your body.
Your spirit.
There was a time when I was young and boisterous and alive.
- Yo, you dyin'? - Yo, Red Cross alert! Our principal's dying! - Uh, I think she's asleep.
- Oh, great.
Here I am, bursting with minerals and blood, and I don't got a damn thing to do with them.
You wanna have an energy fight? Yeah.
But I'm taking some cookies.
One for energy, and one for the kid who lost his life due to lack of blood.
Amen and goddamn.
Amen and goddamn.
Holla at your boy.
Damn, dude.
Damn, dude.
That's a boisterous amount of gravy.
Might as well ruin my blood.
No one's got no use for it anyway.
Load me up.
Man, this underage thing really gets me bubbled.
I know, dude.
Where does it end? First we try to vote in the local election and we get turned away.
Dangerous traffic light still standing.
We can't even buy a goddamn lottery ticket.
- You don't think I need that money? - Only for college.
Or possible charitable ventures.
You're never too young to make a difference! Man, shut your mouth and step down the line.
Y'all bitchin' about a blood drive.
Using up all the gravy in protest.
Now I got dry potatoes.
We're basically adults already.
We're living on our own, takin' care of ourselves, and yet we don't got no rights.
We got good brains, good blood, we're responsible people.
Why don't you guys come with me later to get fake I.
D.
's.
You want me to believe you're getting a fake? What, you tryin' to make a rascal out of me? No.
Danielle's getting one, and I'm going with her because she's scared to go to Dirt's alone.
Well, I ain't messing with no dude named Dirt.
But I have been thinking about getting an I.
D.
myself.
Got a little situation on my hands.
Need to make some purchases.
- What are you mixed up in? - It's a personal matter.
- Are you in trouble? - As I said, it is a personal matter.
- Shady.
- We're dealing with three facts here.
Fake I.
D.
's are illegal.
I don't like breaking the law.
In this case, the laws areullshit.
We can't change them because we're not old enough to vote.
Screw it.
I say we go to Dirt's, get a fake I.
D and liberate ourselves once and for all.
Hell yeah! - I also always wanted to meet Dirt anyway.
- Yeah.
His name's incredible.
He's a sleazeball.
What the hell? Is, uh, this about the stolen baseballs? - 'Cause I can explain that.
- I'm dying, Mr.
Durham.
Huh? Age is waging a war against my body and it's winning.
- I need your help.
- You know I'm just a baseball coach, right? Exactly.
You're in the business of keeping bodies in top physical condition.
- You want me to train you? - No.
I want steroids, you idiot.
- Margaret, you must be out of your damn mind.
- Am I? Don't you ever long to be young again, Mr.
Durham? Full of life and vigor with a gall bladder that doesn't have more stones than a rock quarry? I used to be able to hit a baseball a quarter mile.
Now I barely leave this damn car.
Hmm.
Cried at the sight of a mailman yesterday.
You know, I ain't got me a letter in six years.
That's just your bizarre lifestyle.
You live in a car.
Do you even have an address? - I used to have a lot of things.
- Yeah.
Now's the time to take them back by injecting ourselves with steroids.
Steroids aren't the answer, Margaret! Oh, you're useless! A useless man and a useless door.
I'm saying there's a better way.
Wha? An innovative technology that harnesses something already inside of you.
My ovaries? Our blood.
All right, chin down.
Don't smile.
I wanna look old enough, but I really wanna look cute.
Yeah, that looks good! That gonna be tight! - Oh! - Oh, my God! What is that? Ah, relax.
It's cool, man.
That's just Chester.
He's my pet monkey.
Chester, quit bein' a goofball.
Get down, a'ight? He's like a frickin' hairy baby! You own a monkey, Dirt? - That's awesome! - Yo, thanks, kid.
Much respect.
I'm gonna go wait in the other room.
You might wanna dry your back off too.
Soaked in monkey piss.
Oh, come on! Monkeys are so cute.
Right, guys? Your parents are really cool to let you have one.
I ain't got no parents, man.
Screw them! I live on my own.
Got my ass emancipated, yo.
What the frick's that? Made myself an adult in the eyes of the law.
Whoa.
You can do that? Hell yeah! My stepdad kicked me in the head and I was, like, "I'm out, bitch!" I served him papers.
Now I got rights, yo.
Rights are the only reason we're doing this.
I don't need an I.
D.
to buy cigarettes.
I need an I.
D.
to be a citizen.
I need it to get cigarettes and a tattoo.
I'm gonna get, like, a salad on my back to stand for health and how healthy I am.
Eh 'kay.
Will we be able to give blood if we get emancipated? Dog, you get all the medical rights of an adult.
I can get prescriptions now.
I been sellin' painkillers.
And you should be, because people are in pain and they need relief.
Gross.
Huh? JoJo? Hey.
I didn't know you were here.
We were just getting some fakes.
Oh Okay.
Wh Uh, I'll just go.
W-What's your name again? It's Megan.
Remember, now address, birthday and star sign.
You gotta memorize those.
Thanks, Dirt.
That's hot.
I'm talkin', like, surface of the sun hot.
All right, my turn.
What? I thought you wanted to get out of here.
Well, I wanna get one now.
JoJo said they're going to a rave tomorrow at the skating rink.
- It's 18 and over, so - You wanna go to a rave? You don't even listen to music and you hate the dark.
Hold on.
You gotta be 18 to dance too? Oh, that's putrid.
At six years old Michael Jackson was the best dancer in the world.
And yet he wasn't allowed inside the clubs that played his own music? It's an insane disaster! Gary, that's it.
I'm ready to take action.
Dirt, thanks for the advice.
You're smart man.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we gotta go get emancipated.
Get yours, son! Get yours! We should get closed sticks for the rave.
Don't be weird.
It's a great idea, but we gotta wait and see if they think it's cool.
Mmm! Thank you for inviting me to lunch.
I usually eat alone.
The pleasure is ours.
Watching you shovel food into your mouth like a marine in a chow hall is a pure delight.
Uh, I don't have to eat.
If you insist.
Uh Uh Hmm.
I might have a bit of that.
I'll cut to the chase, Petters.
You're a science teacher and we need your expertise.
Are you familiar with this Tour de France? Of course! I love cycling.
It's a sport for imbeciles.
If I wanted to watch men ride bicycles, I'd go to the park.
Yet while the rest of the world yawns, these cyclists have perfected a feat of science so dazzling, it stretches beyond their pedestrian sport.
Uh, wh-what are you talking about? Blood doping, Ms.
Petters.
A process in which you cleanse and fortify your blood to become stronger, faster, with limitless energy.
You want me to give you a blood transfusion? This ain't no thing.
They do this shit in the Olympics.
Uh Oh, will you help or not? Just stop dilly-dallying.
Only if I can keep eating lunch with you.
Yo, yo, yo! Who's my favorite secretary in the world? It's Rose Gimme hands, Rose! Yo, Rose, what's up? We're fired up right now.
We need to talk to Principal Stark! She's in a meeting.
Hey, buds.
I was trying to bite my cast off like a rat, and I got in trouble.
What? You finally go berserk? I was only trying to get my cast off because my arm's better, and nobody will take me to the doctor.
He got in trouble for providing his own medical care? Don't worry, Russ.
When we get our rights, we'll get you to the proper doctor.
Maybe you can even adopt me.
Uh, well I'll be a good son.
I'll do all my homework and I'll clean all my cuts.
I won't put my bare butt on anything.
I don't know if I'm ready to have kids right now at this point in my life.
I just want to be tenderly hugged.
There is some science to transfusing blood, but I've never done it before.
I'm not a medical professional.
It's not open heart surgery, Petters.
It's a simple procedure.
Acquiring the blood will be the difficult part.
I tried buying some from the Red Cross, but they don't sell that shit.
They looked at me like I was crazy.
Yo, Principal Stark, we're trying to get emancipated, and we wanted to talk to the most authoritative person we know.
Yo, we're freakin' pumped as hell! I could climb a building right now! Hzah! Hzah! Hyah.
All that young blood coursing through your veins.
Mm-hmm.
And it's dying to get out and help those in need.
And help them you will.
Whoa.
- Here ya go.
- Whoa.
That actually looks really good.
How did you do the hologram? Yo, JoJo! Come on, man! Don't give him friggin' spaghetti! Yo, he's eating like man.
He's a man monkey.
He ain't supposed to eat like a man, dick! So, you know JoJo pretty well, huh? Oh, yeah.
He's my boy.
That's cool.
You like him, don't you? How did you know? The way you spy at him.
I just find him irresistible.
What is that? Computer cleaner? Yo! What's up, fellas? How you doin'? Cuz is here.
Yo, what's good? Yo, this is Megan, Cuz.
She's chill.
I am? Wow.
Thanks.
Hey, much respect, sweetheart.
Much respect.
Yo, JoJo, I freakin' hooked it up.
I got U.
F.
O.
's, tin cans, craters Wow, he's really nice.
All you guys are, actually.
I'm glad you got a chance to know us.
Remember that time we went to the dance together? That was a real nice evening, and I look back upon it with fondness and grace.
You guzzled so much rum you could barely speak.
Then you almost killed us.
On that particular occasion I was not a great man.
And so my sincerest apologies to you on there.
It's okay.
I know you're not a bad guy.
And would you wanna be with me in a sexual manner and do things to my body and mine to yours? Mmm, you're a nice guy, Dirt, but I don't think we're right for each other.
I'm sorry.
I'm crazy messed up right now.
I took I took some stuff I don't know what's going on with my head.
Hey, hey, it's okay.
It's okay, Dirt.
You been here before.
Why don't you just watch Donnie dance? Yeah.
He says he can hear the music better without sight.
Well, I believe it.
Yo, Carol! Carol, open up! Man, Stark really hooked us up with all these official documents.
Because she knows it's an important issue.
That's why she's willing to help us donate blood immediately.
Carol, come on.
Your weed guy dropped off a package.
Hi, Carol, Aw, goddamn it.
You snake in the grass.
What do you want? Sorry we fooled you.
Haven't seen you in a few weeks.
How are you? I'm fine.
I been doing a lot of online gaming.
- Yo, you got Internet here? - Mmm.
No.
Well, Carol, I need you to sign something.
Oh, come on, Gary.
You know I hate signing shit.
Well, you're gonna want to sign this, because I getting emancipated.
Emancipated? What are you, a slave? In a way I am.
Yeah, by the unjust laws of the system.
Ehh.
Just sign it and say good-bye to me as a son and hello to me as a friend.
No.
Don't wanna do it.
Why? 'Cause you love him too much? No.
You're my dependent, and I get aid from the state.
150 bucks a month.
I ain't giving that up.
He gave you your freedom to live your life.
Now give him his! Carol, I never asked you for much.
Only to raise a boy who wasn't yours from a man who left you to live under a porch.
Well, that boy would now like to become a man, and he needs your help.
Please sign these documents and set him free.
Let him go, Carol! Man, I can't believe she wouldn't sign.
Me neither.
We probably should've hit her up when she was stoned.
Y'all don't need to be messing with emancipation.
All y'all need to become an adult is this right here.
Pow! Okay? Went online.
Took five minutes.
Printed the shit.
Bam.
Damn, that looks good, dude.
Yeah! Why Florida? 'Cause you want something out of state, somethin' they ain't familiar with.
A young man who traveled all the way from Florida to buy pornographic magazines.
Won't that arouse more suspicion? What? You were so secretive before.
We figured you were buying pornos.
I ain't buying no pornos.
But it is something of a sexual nature.
Get ready, y'all, 'cause Big D 'bout to get grown.
Yes, hello.
Uh, one box of condoms, please.
I mean, the only reason I stuck around is because I have a crush on JoJo.
But now I'm starting to think I may not even want to be with JoJo, because I want to be friends with these guys instead.
You know they're all taking a ton of ecstasy, right? Yeah, I know that.
And I also know they're really nice to one another.
Yeah.
So it's cool if I hook up with JoJo later? Well, if I'm not hooking 5p with JoJo, you're not either.
- Hook up with Donnie.
- Donnie has no eyes.
Yeah, I've been kicking it with this college honey.
Name's Shauna.
A college girl? How'd you meet her? She comes over when my parents go out to play cards or dinner and shit.
Oh, so she's your baby-sitter.
She ain't my baby-sitter.
She there to take care of my little brother and sister.
Why don't you take care of 'em? 'Cause Moms don't trust me to be alone.
Look, man, call it what you want to, but the bitch is fine.
We stay up late, we be watchin' movies on the couch, she help me brush my teeth.
Eh, are you sure this girl wants to bone you, man? She's brushing your teeth.
Dude, that's an intimate act.
Okay? It shows a level of comfortability, man.
That's some married folk shit right there.
This I.
D.
no good.
What you mean? It's not real.
It's very bad.
It doesn't even have a hologram.
Yo, look, sir, can you help a brother out? I got a situation on my hand and I ain't ready to be no dad.
You don't need I.
D.
to buy rubbers.
For real? Hey, safe sex for everyone, guy.
Yeah, I think they give them out at school for free.
Why didn't y'all say something before I went down this damn road? Look at me.
I'm a 32-year-old man from Tallahassee.
This is embarrassing.
You were the one being a shade ball.
Yeah, man, you gotta open up more.
Hey, guys.
Two packs of blunts, five packs of menthol cigarettes, some Blow Pops, orange juice, VapoRub And some strawberry vodka.
Okay, I.
D.
for this, lady.
Here ya go.
Damn, what the hell are y'al getting into? Sounds like a party.
We're going to a rave tonight.
32 and 16.
Here your change.
Let me see that.
Damn, you got the hologram and shit? Dirt knows you need the hologram because he understands the complexities of the law.
He is a sharp guy.
We should've just gotten an I.
D.
from him in the first place.
What's with the condoms? Oh, he's trying to bang his baby-sitter.
Comen, man! Why you gotta put my shit on blast like that? Hey, hey, man, get this baby gorilla away from me.
Relax.
He's just sniffing you out.
Chester, settle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah! - So you guys are in high school, huh? - Yeah.
It sucks.
We got no rights.
I loved high school, cuz.
Mad parties, mad sex, mad fun.
My only regret is that I didn't finish.
But I'm going to night school now, cuz.
That's a positive action.
Good for you.
Yo, you got to hold on to these moments.
They're precious.
Yo, what's the most caring thing you've ever done? Oh, shit! What's up now, bitch? What's up now? You think you could play us, you stupid ass? Yo, it's cool! It's cool! You tried to beat us on the rolls? Those craters were caffeine pills, yo! I gonna test kit.
I test that shit every time! Come on, man! Take it easy! Resolve this using the legal channels of the law.
- What are you talkin' about? This is a drug deal.
- Hold on.
Let me explain.
Yeah! Yeah! A'ight! No, you guys! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Damn, cuz.
You hammered me.
That was messed up, y'all.
That was some Scarface shit.
For real.
What the hell, Dirt? I thought you guys were friends.
I thought you had each other's backs.
He tried to rip me off, son.
You don't break that code.
You hear that? You guys, the police are here! 5-0! 5-0! What the freak we do? We gotta clean this place up.
Shit, where's Chester? Where's Chester? Yo, we got to bounce.
This is some bullshit.
Nobody's going nowhere.
You know it, JoJo.
Hey, you the top dog.
Just tell me what you need me to do.
Yo, he risin'.
He's risin'! He's walking! He's walking! He fell.
Want me to get the glass? Somebody get me a dustpan so I can do this for JoJo.
Police.
Open up! Oh, shit.
Oh, man, we're gonna get arrested.
Never trust a dude named Dirt.
Seems obvious now.
I still think they're nice guys.
They're just drug dealers.
That's a dangerous world, no matter what players are involved.
I do kind of wish I saw the inside of a police car, but it's probably better that they let us go.
That's one benefit of being underage.
If we were legal like Dirt, we'd be sitting in jail right now.
Oh, yeah.
That's real talk.
We actually got more rights now if you think about it.
We can do whatever the hell we want and not get in trouble for it.
My mom and dad got they own laws.
They replacing Shauna with a young man what can provide more discipline and set a positive example.
Now I got some dude in my house, upsetting my routine.
He brush too damn hard.
You gotta start brushing your own teeth.
That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, man.
Maybe you should mind your own business.
Danielle's now saying she's got post-traumatic stress syndrome.
Man, that girl is too frickin' dramatic.
That's wt I said.
She's ready for you.
Ain't that some shit.
I'm disappointed in you all.
Especially you two.
Beca5se you expected the most from us? No, I sent you to get emancipated and you wound up in the middle of a low-rent drug deal.
Are we getting expelled? I could expel you, but that would be treating you like children.
I'm here to empower you as young adults and allow you to pay the school back for your crimes.
- In blood.
- Say what, now? We've created a pilot program where you can donate blood to those who need it in exchange for points which can be credited towards good behavior.
- Huh? - It's just a good deed making up for a bad one.
I think the term they use is called, uh, even stephen.
I'm spearheading the program with Coach Durham here.
And to a lesser extent, Ms.
Petters.
Hello.
- Yo, what's decent, Petters? - Um, what is that? It's a blood machine.
- Interesting.
- I like the spirit of the program.
Okay, I'm gonna choose not to participate in this program.
Seems a little weird, if I'm honest, with the homemade blood machine and people hiding behind doors and the theatrics.
So just go ahead and write me up, give me detention, whatever you need to do.
- I'm out.
- Yeah, I'm with him.
This is sketch.
Well, we're ready to help.
Jab me up, Petters! Drain me! Yeah, take as much as you can.
My blood is your blood, Petters.
Uh No! I-I-I can't do it! Just draw the blood, you dreadful woman.
I didn't think we were really gonna go through with this.
I just wanted people to eat lunch with me.
- What are you talking about? - They're trying to steal your blood! They want to use it! They're gonna put it in themselves! - What the frick? - They're like frickin' vampires? Is that true, Principal Stark? It was Ms.
Petters' idea.
What? Petters, come on! Shame on you! Ms.
Stark, I'm sorry I doubted you.
Would I like to feel younger? Of course.
Who wouldn't? Especially if the technology is available.
Age is just something we need to accept.
Yes, I suppose.
- Uh, hey, help me.
- Holy shit! What happened, Russ? I tried to saw my cast off with a knife, and I didn't do it good.
Yo, get him some medical attention! - Yo, Petters, suture him up! - I am I am not doctor.
I'm a science teacher.
Yo, he's drippin' blood everywhere! I'll-.
I'll pass.
Made in Georgia.