Velma (2023) s01e10 Episode Script

I had to find you because I still
don't know if you listened to my VMs,
let alone responded. Did you?
The police found my mom's car,
abandoned and empty,
except for her glasses
and a single wrapped gift.
It's like what I said,
someone is trying to recreate
Dr. Perdue's work,
Brains, where is my mom?
Best of luck in all your future
endeavors, Wilhelmina.
Would you consider interning for me
at Jones Gentlemen's Accessories?
Really? Oh, my God. Yes.
What the actual hell?
Oh, my God. I do remember
who the serial killer is.
It's me.
So, yeah, after all that,
it turned out my mom wasn't kidnapped
by the serial killer.
Apparently, she was the serial killer.
And yet it got worse.
WHEN U LEARN UR MOM
REMOVES BRAINS
Because it made no sense!
Reading Dr. Perdue's journals,
I couldn't understand why
my mom would recreate the work
of a mad scientist.
I have to talk to her!
Nothing added up.
And yet no one seemed to care!
Okay, the next item on the block
is this 1969 van
recently used by Diya Dinkley,
one of America's only
female serial killers.
You can own a piece of herstory!
And yet it still got worse.
Velma, there you are!
Any comment on today's front page
story?
Because I'd also lost my best friends.
Norville, I'm sorry I accused
your dad of being the serial killer!
Norville, that's enough!
Velma needs us.
The only thing I need is to kick
your ass for kissing Fred!
And yet it somehow got
even worse.
Okay, the swelling from your
daughter's beating has gone down.
Can I go do your job for you
and question my obviously
innocent mom now?
No. We need you to watch something.
So why'd you do it, Doodad?
Your choices
on the Lady Confession Form are
revenge, jealousy,
or "you know how we get".
Okay, I'll tell you.
I did it because I wanted
to put the brain of a popular girl
into the head of my daughter, Velma.
What?
But that makes even less sense!
If she's now saying she's guilty,
why did she pretend to have amnesia?
Or try to frame me with Brenda
and Krista's bodies?
Velma, we're struggling too,
but Diya insists she did it.
Meaning this afternoon,
she'll be sentenced to death row
and, worse, brutally hounded
by true crime podcasters.
Death row?
Just give me five minutes down there
to figure out what's really going on!
What's that?
Look, you didn't hear it from us,
but the only way Cogburn's letting you
anywhere near your mom's cell
and potentially messing up his case
is if you get arrested yourself.
Arrested? I see.
Well, then call me a medieval
minstrel, 'cause I'm about to loot!
Yeah, unfortunately, he's so worried
about you talking to your mom,
the only thing he'd arrest you
for right now is murder.
Murder?
Now Daphne, though I married
into this company,
I'm the one who built it
from a small ascot shop
into the multi-billion dollar target
of child labor lawsuits it is today
Moxie!
Aggressively supporting politicians
who look the other way.
And I have impeccable taste.
Like this, our newest fragrance.
I love that. What's it called?
Smells Like Mommy?
Yes, it's terrible. Freddie named it.
Which brings us to the point
of your internship.
You mean I'm not just a diversity
hire for the company photoshoot?
No. See, Freddie doesn't listen to me.
But yesterday you were able
to coax him back
A modern day Anne Sullivan.
A celebrity dog trainer. Regardless,
if Fred has any hope of running
this company one day,
I need your help teaching him
that same kind of strategic thinking
and drive.
So, I'd have to spend more time
with Fred?
I have to sort out some personal
stuff with Velma first.
This is a good business lesson
to learn, nobody cares.
Fred! Open up! I need your help to get
arrested and save my mom's life!
Not now.
- We need to talk!
- Later!
Fred?
Fred! Why are you raging out?
Can I assume sports?
No, Velma!
I'm raging out because
my mom doesn't think I'm capable
of running the family business!
But she's wrong! Look how good
I paint the company logo!
Your company logo is an asterisk?
To indicate a troubling footnote
about child labor!
It's not an asterisk! It's a flower.
I painted those ones better.
Wait Fred, you bought this van? Why?
Because all "cool" fashion
advertising for teens
is just trashy, pedo-tinged,
sex stuff.
So maybe if I drive this thing around,
I can make
Gentlemen's Accessories cool
and prove to my mom I'm not a joke.
Because nothing's trashier or more
pedo tinged than teens in an old van.
That's actually not a bad idea.
You're wrong! It is a good idea!
I can run the family business!
Wait, you just agreed with me. Sorry.
I'm just sensitive from always
being wrong about everything.
Well, then I have good news.
I'm taking you to the one place
no one will ever doubt you!
Officers! Arrest me!
I've committed the only crime worse
than eating ethnic food on an airplane!
Don't care. Until your mom is removed
from our custody
and goes to death row
your presence here is like
a condom in a porno.
Not wanted.
But would you arrest her if someone
like me said someone like her
was bothering him?
Well, yeah, that would do it.
Norville, have you seen Velma?
She wasn't at the pep rally
and you know how much she loves
knocking over cheerleader pyramids.
Sorry, but I'm just too tired of Velma's
bullshit to care where she is.
Norville never swears!
Oh, my God!
A geode? "My dearest
I almost died while finding this.
I think it has something to do
with the murders.
"And while I know it can never make up
for having abandoned you twice,"
"please consider us even for the
ten dollars I took from your locker."
Be quick. Your mom doesn't have
much time before her sentencing.
And the creature that lives
in the toilet feeds at two.
- Mom?
- Velma?
Mom, I know you didn't really want
to change my brain, right?
I assume you misspoke
and meant change my bra?
'Cause I get that.
Velma, I did it because I wanted
to put the brain of a popular girl
into the head of my daughter,
Velma.
But why?
No. Velma listen to me.
I did it because I wanted to put
the brain of a popular girl
into the head of my daughter, Velma.
Yeah, Mom, I get it. Wait, you keep
saying the exact same thing!
Yes! When I try to say
what actually happened,
that's what comes out!
I don't think I had amnesia,
I think I was hypnotized.
Hypnotized? I thought that only
worked in seventies cartoons
and eighties comedy clubs.
Wait, but the cure is always
snapping.
Sorry! Time to go to death row!
You failed, Velma!
You're not ruining this for me!
Let me out of here!
My mom was hypnotized!
And the serial killer
is still out there!
Yes, he is, Velma.
Oh, no! He's here!
Daphne?
Sorry, I just had to clear my throat.
My moms told me you were here.
I'd rather you were the serial killer.
Well, then good news. Because I have
something that might help us find him!
A pocket watch? Wait, I remember
that from somewhere.
And do you remember me?
How am I on a dirt road?
I died and hell
is a cross country race!
Wait, this is a memory of the night
I started hallucinating two years ago!
I'll never find my mom.
My mystery solving caused this.
No one will believe me because
I'm a weirdo.
Oh, my God. I remember.
That pocket watch belongs
to the serial killer!
I recognize it because
he didn't just hypnotize my mom!
He hypnotized me two years ago
as well
to cause my hallucinations
and keep me from finding her!
Now did you check the watch
for fingerprints or semen?
No need! There's an inscription!
Okay, but Daphne,
it belonged to a serial killer.
It's one hundred percent
caked in semen
and you're just like holding it
in your hand.
Harry Meeting? Of course!
General Harry Meeting
hired Dr. Edna Perdue
to run his Project SCOOBI brain
swapping program!
And he was a master of hypnosis!
But, wait, he's dead. Man!
Exactly.
Which can only mean one thing.
It's General Meeting's ghost back
to finish Dr. Perdue's work!
For the last time, ghosts do not exist!
So if you'd like to join me
back in reality,
I'm going to see if this watch
jogs any memories for The Brains!
I'll come with! But first,
I'm sorry about kissing Fred.
Forgive me and I promise nothing
will ever come between us again.
Hold up. I have to take this. Victoria?
What? Fred was caught trying to lure
teens into a van for trashy sex stuff?
I'll be right there! I am so sorry.
I have to go. But here.
Perfume? Is that to remember you
while we're apart?
Yes. But Victoria also wants to know if
you like it and/or get a terrible rash.
Text me your thoughts!
And be safe!
Fred, tell your mom I'm getting
in the car you sent right now.
What do you mean you didn't send
a car? Oh, God!
Fine, you sent a limo. Yes,
I know the difference, you asshole!
Okay, clap, clap, group shower
discussion of the day.
Aren't you so over characters
making dramatic entrances
on TV shows?
- For sure.
- Totally.
I like the quiet characters
who don't get much to do.
I actually love dramatic entrances!
- Velma?
- Yeah.
And before you say anything,
my mom didn't kill you
and put you in those jars.
She was hypnotized
by whoever took you!
So please tell me you recognize this.
Where was that?
I do not. No.
- Sorry.
- I don't either.
Well, great! Now I have nothing
and my mom's going to the chair!
Which is exactly
what you deserve, Velma!
Well, not your mom going to the chair.
But you were given the best thing
in the world,
and every day you treated it
like worthless garbage!
Hair that's full of bounce
and easy to style?
No! Norville!
And now he's transferring schools
because it's too hard for him to be
around the person who betrayed him.
What? That's impossible!
I know I messed up
by accusing Lamont,
but Norville would have told me
if he was leaving school!
He did. He left you a voicemail.
Just one of the thousands
you never listened to.
I don't have time for this.
I have to save my mom.
And where did her phone come from?
We're naked!
What's wrong, baby?
Three Chaka Khan songs
have come on
and you haven't even
bobbed your head.
Nothing. I'm just wondering if I made
the right decision to leave.
Oh, my God, I'm home!
So Brenda and Krista's bodies
were used to frame me.
But, wait, Lola's was found
by someone else.
Norville, where are you
when I need you?
Fine.
Velma, it's Norville. I'm switching
schools. See you in hell.
If I ever visit
from the Halls of Mandos.
That's a Tolkien reference.
Which I know you hate.
Damnit, Velma.
Why didn't you ever listen to these?
Hey Velma, it's Norville
and I have huge news.
It's Banana Pudding Day
in the cafeteria! Call me back.
Hey, Velma, it's Norville.
Who's got two thumbs and wants
to say good morning? This guy!
Yeah, that's maybe more
of a visual joke. Call me back!
Hey, Velma, it's Arnold,
The Actor-Nator. JK.
It's Norville. Call me back.
This is the first voicemail
he ever left me.
Hey, Velma, it's Norville Rogers
from math.
I know we don't really know
each other,
but I just wanted to say,
I'm sorry your mom got taken,
and I think it's cool that
you're wearing her glasses now.
He even noticed these.
Mom's frames are made by Jones
Gentlemen's Accessories?
A pocket watch!
Oh, my God! Harry Meeting used
Jones Gentlemen's Accessories
pocket watches for his hypnosis!
That's it!
Dad! I figured it out!
How to wash that sweater? You've
literally never smelled better!
No! That's just some dumb perfume
Daphne sprayed on me.
- Mom's innocent!
- What? How?
My glasses! It was my glasses!
Mom didn't drop them in her car
the night she was taken!
She left them as a clue for me to find!
But how are glasses a clue?
Unless they solve the mystery of why
a girl can't get a date, right?
Sorry, I'm drunk.
Please continue.
I'll explain everything on the way
to the Jones' estate.
If I'm right, Daphne and Fred
are in trouble!
So, if the serial killer caused your
hallucinations with hypnosis,
how did me believing that your mom
was kidnapped stop them?
Because my hallucinations preyed
on my insecurity that I'm a weirdo
no one would believe.
So you believing me
counteracted that.
Same with Norville saying
he liked me.
I thought it was because
he made me laugh.
But it was because he made me feel
cared for.
The way a cool ass boss bitch like
myself deserves to be.
And I'm falling off the wall.
Velma! Are you okay? Cause if not,
we can definitely sue!
I'm fine, just go get the cops!
On it! But could you maybe fake
an injury?
- The Joneses are a cash cow.
- Get the cops!
Okay. How do I sneak
into this lab again?
Hey, Angela Lansbury or whoever
is in charge up there now,
please don't let me die today.
There are so many things
I haven't done yet in life.
Like make a bucket list, or this.
Hello. You've reached
Norville Rogers.
And, if this is Velma, don't forget,
Norville, look, I know you hate me,
but in case I die tonight,
I just wanted to say,
you'll always be my best friend.
That's it. Bye. Love you.
Love you? Oh, no!
What's happening?
Don't donate my body to science!
Great, my phone's dead.
Now I can't call back Norville.
Or order Thai food!
"To find the lab entrance,
walk 32 steps,"
"the jersey number
of the great O.J. Simpson."
God, Dr. Perdue,
could this journal be more dated?
"Now look for the stone
that is as perfect"
"as Woody Allen and Mia Farrow's
marriage." Wait, there it is!
My glasses! I hope
this doesn't keep happening.
Daphne. Wake up!
Velma! Get me out of here.
And Fred. If there's time.
I will. I just have to figure out how.
That's it!
Excuse me? Wait, you think seeing us
fool around
will give the serial killer
a heart attack? Worth a shot.
Oh, God!
And now you die, Velma.
Then I guess I better smell good
for Angela Lansbury.
Oh, my God, you're a genius!
How did you know
the perfume would do that?
My shrill voice usually repels bats,
so when they attacked me
in the well,
I knew it had to be the perfume
driving them crazy.
Get them off!
Wait, no, keep them on.
Velma, how did you know
we were down here?
Was Fred right about the government
putting trackers in those vaccines?
No. After connecting General Meeting
to Jones Gentlemen's Accessories,
it was obvious.
So it is the ghost
of Dr. Edna Perdue! I knew it!
Don't be an idiot, Fred. It's the ghost
of General Harry Meeting!
Stop before I think less of you!
Just let me explain.
This all began when the serial killer
tried to frame me
for the murders of Brenda
and Krista
by putting them in my locker
and recycling bin.
But then Fred raged out in court
and went to prison
for those murders instead.
I remember that. Wow,
crazy couple of weeks.
But the third body, Lola's, wasn't used
to frame me. Why?
Because the serial killer
needed a body fast
to exonerate Fred
and get him out of prison.
But why would the serial killer
want Fred out of prison,
only to then take him
at Fog Fest?
- Mother?
- Victoria Jones?
Formerly known as Victoria Meeting.
The daughter
of General Harry Meeting.
Once I learned of her past,
it all made sense.
I mean, first off, only a real monster
has a destination wedding in Bali.
What? Mother, how could you?
Because she wanted
to replace your brain
with that of someone more capable
of one day running
Jones Gentlemen's Accessories.
Replace my brain? Hold up,
am I not your special, number one,
little guy?
I tried to encourage you, Freddie.
But in the end, I couldn't let your
incompetence ruin my life's work.
The way my father's incompetence
ruined Project SCOOBI.
I thought Project SCOOBI failed
because Dr. Perdue went insane
trying to swap people's brains.
That's the public story. The truth is,
Dr. Perdue succeeded
in her brain swapping procedure.
But then my father tried to take
all the credit for her work.
When Dr. Perdue found out,
she undid the experiment,
bricked up her lab,
and hid her journals
so her work couldn't be recreated.
But hoping to make her talk,
my father had her institutionalized.
But Dr. Perdue didn't crack.
And without the journals, my father
couldn't reproduce her results.
Project SCOOBI was shut down.
And we lost everything.
Wait, our family was also poor?
Can this day get any worse?
To save us from financial ruin,
I married William Jones,
the man whose family business
supplied the pocket watches
my father used for hypnosis.
You love me, right?
And after building Jones Gentleman's
accessories into a global brand,
you couldn't stand to see
it undone by your own son.
So you decided
to give him a better brain
by buying this house and
finding Dr. Perdue's journals!
But your mom
had already found them.
So when my mom showed up here
two years ago
you hypnotized her and made her
rebuild the lab
while you found the perfect
brain to put in Fred's head!
Case closed!
Okay, but why pick the brain
of a hot popular girl?
We're literally the only murders
people care about.
Because I wanted someone like me.
An ambitious, status conscious
young woman
who could appreciate what she might
achieve as the male president
of a global corporation.
But now I see the perfect brain
for Fred
is the one I tried hardest
to keep away! William!
Oh, God! Look at his eyes!
He's hypnotized!
I had no choice. The poor fool
figured out what I was up to.
Victoria! Think this through!
Once my brain is in Fred,
I'll just go to the police right after
I've looked at myself naked!
No you won't, Velma.
Because not only are you brilliant,
who more than you would truly
appreciate the advantages
of being a handsome, rich, white man?
Advantages? You think we like being
President of the United States
ninety seven percent of the time?
That job sucks!
Having spent time with The Brains,
I was reminded that hot popular girls
your age don't yet realize
just how much the deck
is stacked against them.
But a stumpy, know-it-all,
with bad eyes
and a worse haircut such
as myself would.
You know what, Victoria?
You're right. I am so in!
- What?
- Velma, Fred will die!
And worse, be embarrassed!
Exactly, I am so sick of rich guys
like you,
not only not realizing how much
is handed to them,
but still thinking they're the victims
when they mess everything up
because of their lazy entitlement
and fragile egos!
My ego is not fragile!
Yes! Rage, Fred!
Rage with the anger of a
dad who just bumped his head
and break your restraints!
No! What are you doing? Stop!
Fred! Your mom is getting away!
You did this!
No! Fred! I only said those things
to rile you up.
No, I'm glad you said it, Velma.
Only friends tell each other the truth.
And I'm proud to call you a friend.
No matter how annoying
I find your voice.
I'm already loving
our new "truth" dynamic.
Now get out of here!
I'll stop my mom!
Hello, Mother.
Freddie, I'm sorry. But I have
an excuse, a good one.
Really?
Quick, find the button that makes
the bucket go up!
It doesn't work like that!
We have to climb.
I see. So I guess I just live down here
now?
Victoria? How?
It's not Victoria, mother never could
have wanted to swap my brain.
She told me that she's been possessed
by the ghost of Dr. Edna Perdue!
It made so much sense when
she told me,
I accidentally dropped the gun!
And, well, here we are.
So say your goodbyes, girls.
As I'm about to transfer your brains
to these cave walls.
Velma, if this is the end,
I need you to know I love you.
I love you too, Norville.
What? Norville?!
Daphne! I mean,
I love you, Daphne!
Velma! I got your VM! Voicemail!
And I love you too!
Norville! Watch out!
Well, it appears I've gotten away
with it, you meddling kids!
Mother? Ghost of Dr. Perdue?
Hello?
Oh, my God. She's dead.
Like, really dead.
It's over. It's finally over.
This feels amazing!
Like best day ever!
I solved the case! Happy dance!
It's true. I'd solved the case for good.
But like all prestige detectives,
had I actually lost more than I found?
Vermin Dorkley Day.
And we also have keys
for your friends.
We're not friends!
Norville killed my mother!
She tried to kill me first!
Only because she was possessed
by the ghost of your grandma!
Ghosts are not real!
What a surprise, Velma's standing up
for Norville,
the love of her life!
No, that's stupid. Sure,
my personal life was in shambles,
but I got my mom back!
So it's a dark mystery origin story
of Boo-Boo Bear!
TV got even better while
you were kidnapped!
All right! Sounds great! Turn it up!
And maybe shut the curtains.
Velma! Did you change
the locks again? Let us in!
We still live here! Hello!
Still, all our lives were changed
forever by what had happened.
I can't sleep, Dad.
It's either my Spanish test tomorrow
or the fact I killed Fred's mom.
Have you tried marijuana?
What?!
And events had been set in motion
that could not be reversed.
Because little did we know,
the real mystery was just starting.
Well, Cogburn, here's everything
I used to catch the serial killer,
bring home my mom, and basically
embarrass your entire force.
It takes more than that
to embarrass us.
But you ever feel like becoming
a real detective,
we could use you.
You got a sharp brain.
Thank you.
That actually means a lot.
Yeah. Almost like a man.
Another thing Velma
was right about.
No such thing as ghosts.
Hello? Hello, hello?