Welcome to Sweden (2014) s01e10 Episode Script
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1 Oh! What time is it? I had so much fun last night.
It was crazy.
What happened last night? Ummm everything.
What do you mean by that? I don't What do you mean by "what does that mean"? What does that mean? - What do you mean? - This is - this is not good.
- Is this a dream? It's a dream? I don't know.
Is this a nightmare? Oh, my God, it feels like it.
Hello, you reached the voice-mail of Bruce Evans.
I'm back now, in the U.
S, so please leave me a message after the tone and I will get right back to you.
Thank you.
Hey, babe, it's me.
I've tried to call you, like, ten times now.
So, um, what's going on? Call me back, I'm worried.
Okay, bye.
Love you.
You know what? I need you to be honest with me, okay? Okay.
Did we have sex last night? Yes.
Okay, then how was it? Amazing.
Ha, now I know you're lying because no one has ever said that to me before.
Fine, we didn't have sex.
Yes! Told you.
I tried to have sex with you, but you were, like, totally passed out and it was really hard, but I tried to put it in.
You can't do stuff like that, Aubrey.
That is illegal, by the way.
Where, in Sweden? It's called rape, is what it's called.
- What? - Ra You heard me the first time.
Is it called "rappen"? Wh-where is my shirt, by the way? - I burned it.
- What? You told me to.
I did not tell you to burn my shirt.
Okay, fine.
I've got to get out of here No! Bruce, come on.
Don't leave.
Please! We can make this work, I know we can.
There is no "we" and there is no "this".
- Where are you going? - I Away from here.
Where, back to stupid Sweden? - Maybe I will, I don't know - Maybe you should! It's all you care about anyway, Sweden.
Even in your sleep, you're like, "Emma, Emma, Emma! Sweden, Volvo, Ikea Herring.
" You're right.
I mean, there's there's nothing for me here anymore.
I'm going back.
I'm going to go back to Sweden.
Great.
Go back to Sweden.
- Have fun.
- Fine.
And guess what, I'm pregnant.
Yeah, that's right, I'm pregnant! I can feel it inside of me, it's kicking.
- No.
- Bruce, don't! I need you to be the father of my baby! Okay I'm sorry, sir, there are no more flights to Sweden today.
No, no, no, I have to get there, so, um Are there any flights tomorrow, at least? And now it is tomorrow.
You're not helping, sir.
I know, I'm sorry.
You know what? I This is a bad kind of day for me.
Bad few days, actually.
My girlfriend and I kind of broke up, and now I'm trying to go back there and make things right.
You know, I'm kind of trying to surprise her with a surprise trip back to Sweden, so I really need you because, um It kind of feels like I'm in a romantic comedy, you know? It's like, "Are there any rom-com tickets in that computer?" No, unfortunately there aren't any rom-com tickets available.
Hugh Grant's come in here and take the last one? He was like, "Excuse me! Stop! In the name of love!" That was Hugh Grant? It was supposed to be, yeah.
Yeah, that was awful.
Can you please just help me? I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
I have nothing available today.
This is very unusual.
All the seats to Stockholm are booked.
Please, I need your help.
This is really, really important.
Okay, well, there is something.
Yes! Thank you.
But there are quite a few stops on the way.
- Okay.
- And it's a middle seat.
Okay, that's fine, I'll take it.
And it's by the bathrooms.
- And the seat doesn't recline.
- Okay, I'll take it.
Okay, I'll print it out for you.
Go ahead.
You need to step aside.
That's a baby step.
- Hello there.
- Hi.
I'm picking up two tickets to Sweden.
One is for me, and one is for my little Wipsy here.
Ohhh, she is so cute.
Thank you very much.
Are you excited to be a world traveler? Aren't you excited to go be on the big airplane up high in the sky? Are you going to Sweden? Yes, yes, I am, Yeah.
Okay, good, because I am trying to get there as well.
I'm trying to surprise my Swedish girlfriend.
Oh, hey, Swedish girls.
- They're the best, bro.
- I know.
- They're the best.
- I feel the same way.
My girlfriend and I we kind of broke up but it was kind of my fault, - and I'm trying to make things right - Okay.
- you know? Anyway, I can't get in touch with her and I'm trying now to make things right, you know, to just surprise her and go over there and just, you know, run up to her and just tell her that she's the one, you know? - Yes! - Yes.
That is so awesome.
It's so cool to see people doing stuff like that in this day and age.
Good for you.
Good luck.
I hope she says yes.
This is so exciting.
Thank you so much.
I was hoping you'd say that because I need a ticket and you have two, so I was hoping I could get, uh, one of yours.
Oh, wish I could, but I-I do need two tickets.
I have one for me and one is also for my little Wipsy, so I was thinking I could take the dog's ticket.
Oh.
You would like to sit - in the seat that my dog is sitting in? - Mm-hm.
Oh! That's interesting because what I'm trying to do is think of why it would be this dog's fault that you can't find a woman in America to love you.
- Are you serious right now? - Okay, sir, you're getting agitated and you're going to agitate little Wipsy, okay? And she is going to sissy all over my suit, and then we're all going to have a problem.
- I'm not even - Yeah.
Wip Wipsy Don't look at him.
Wipsy? She's going to get upset.
- Wipsy look away.
- She doesn't even look Wipsy look away.
Wipsy look away.
- Can you believe that guy? - You're a monster.
- I am? - I can't believe you terrorized that dog.
Are my tickets ready, at least? No, they're printing.
- Hello.
- Hi, can I help you? Yes, I was the one who called earlier and purchased all of the remaining tickets to Stockholm.
Oh, yes.
I have them right here ready to go.
Excellent.
Thank you.
I will not be needing these.
Have you seen a guy by the name of Bruce? Kind of a short man with a dumb face.
Oh, yes.
I know exactly who you're talking about.
- He's awful.
- Bingo.
He was in here earlier looking for tickets to Stockholm.
Oh, was he? Interesting.
Well, I guess he couldn't find any.
Oh, no, I was able to find him one.
Oh, I wish I could fire you right now.
I wish you could too.
And went straight to her family's summer house and met everyone.
I got really drunk, and I was jet-lagged, and I ended up passing out in the sauna.
Hey, honey, it's me.
Call me.
Love you.
I don't know, maybe she's already moved on.
You know? Maybe she's with Marcus right now, but I have to find out.
You know, 'cause that's the key.
You've got to fight, you know.
If you love somebody, you've got to fight for them.
So then I was just like, "All right, I'll try to do what I did before.
" I tried to be a Swedish money manager.
I met with two Swedish celebrities.
First guy, I have no idea what he was, he was, like, talking just love poems the whole time.
Second guy was actually from that group ABBA.
I don't know which guy it was, but he was like, "I don't need more money," so I was like, "This is not going to work," you know? So I just said, "You know what, Emma? I have to move back.
I want to move back.
" And she said, "Okay.
" And then her ex-boyfriend came, Marcus Here he comes! Oh Hah! Love lifts us up where we belong Where the eagles cry On a mountain high Love lifts us up where we belong (Tuneless) Where the eagles cry On the mountains high Love lifts us So then we moved in together, her apartment, Stockholm.
And that didn't go so well, actually.
We had totally different styles.
She wanted everything white and I like things with colors, you know, and so Anyway, we just decided to, like, get rid of everything, you know, start over.
Thought it would be, like, really romantic.
And actually, I didn't get rid of my Boomer Esiason football, which is probably She was right about that, that was stupid, you know.
But he's the best left-handed quarterback in NFL history, so I felt like I could at least keep that one thing, you know.
Honey, it's me.
Listen, I can't do this anymore, I miss you too much.
So, I'm coming to New York! I'm on my way right now, so don't go anywhere.
Okay, love you, see you soon! Emma! W-what are you doing here? I-I'm going to see you.
Wh? I-I was coming to see you.
You know, it's a good thing you're here because I have a lot to say to you, so just listen, okay? I just want to say that, like, I know maybe I'm not the best fit for you or for this country or for your family, but I love you and that like, that should mean something, - that should be enough, right? - Babe, I love you too.
I mean, the thing is, I found out these last few days that I love Sweden too! I mean, I love lagom, and I love jantelag, and I love saying hej hej to people.
But most of all, I love it because it's your home and everything here reminds me of you.
And I just want to be with you, like, every day, and God, this speech sounded so much better in my head - on the way here - Can we just meet in the middle? Yes! That's what I'm saying, - we've got to meet in the middle! - No, I-I mean now.
- Like meet up there.
- Yes! - In the middle.
- Yeah? Okay.
I'm so happy.
Me too.
- It's like a fresh start.
- I know.
And you had your thing with Marcus, I had my thing with Aubrey and we just forget about I-I didn't do anything with Marcus.
- You didn't? - Wait, what happened with Aubrey?
It was crazy.
What happened last night? Ummm everything.
What do you mean by that? I don't What do you mean by "what does that mean"? What does that mean? - What do you mean? - This is - this is not good.
- Is this a dream? It's a dream? I don't know.
Is this a nightmare? Oh, my God, it feels like it.
Hello, you reached the voice-mail of Bruce Evans.
I'm back now, in the U.
S, so please leave me a message after the tone and I will get right back to you.
Thank you.
Hey, babe, it's me.
I've tried to call you, like, ten times now.
So, um, what's going on? Call me back, I'm worried.
Okay, bye.
Love you.
You know what? I need you to be honest with me, okay? Okay.
Did we have sex last night? Yes.
Okay, then how was it? Amazing.
Ha, now I know you're lying because no one has ever said that to me before.
Fine, we didn't have sex.
Yes! Told you.
I tried to have sex with you, but you were, like, totally passed out and it was really hard, but I tried to put it in.
You can't do stuff like that, Aubrey.
That is illegal, by the way.
Where, in Sweden? It's called rape, is what it's called.
- What? - Ra You heard me the first time.
Is it called "rappen"? Wh-where is my shirt, by the way? - I burned it.
- What? You told me to.
I did not tell you to burn my shirt.
Okay, fine.
I've got to get out of here No! Bruce, come on.
Don't leave.
Please! We can make this work, I know we can.
There is no "we" and there is no "this".
- Where are you going? - I Away from here.
Where, back to stupid Sweden? - Maybe I will, I don't know - Maybe you should! It's all you care about anyway, Sweden.
Even in your sleep, you're like, "Emma, Emma, Emma! Sweden, Volvo, Ikea Herring.
" You're right.
I mean, there's there's nothing for me here anymore.
I'm going back.
I'm going to go back to Sweden.
Great.
Go back to Sweden.
- Have fun.
- Fine.
And guess what, I'm pregnant.
Yeah, that's right, I'm pregnant! I can feel it inside of me, it's kicking.
- No.
- Bruce, don't! I need you to be the father of my baby! Okay I'm sorry, sir, there are no more flights to Sweden today.
No, no, no, I have to get there, so, um Are there any flights tomorrow, at least? And now it is tomorrow.
You're not helping, sir.
I know, I'm sorry.
You know what? I This is a bad kind of day for me.
Bad few days, actually.
My girlfriend and I kind of broke up, and now I'm trying to go back there and make things right.
You know, I'm kind of trying to surprise her with a surprise trip back to Sweden, so I really need you because, um It kind of feels like I'm in a romantic comedy, you know? It's like, "Are there any rom-com tickets in that computer?" No, unfortunately there aren't any rom-com tickets available.
Hugh Grant's come in here and take the last one? He was like, "Excuse me! Stop! In the name of love!" That was Hugh Grant? It was supposed to be, yeah.
Yeah, that was awful.
Can you please just help me? I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
I have nothing available today.
This is very unusual.
All the seats to Stockholm are booked.
Please, I need your help.
This is really, really important.
Okay, well, there is something.
Yes! Thank you.
But there are quite a few stops on the way.
- Okay.
- And it's a middle seat.
Okay, that's fine, I'll take it.
And it's by the bathrooms.
- And the seat doesn't recline.
- Okay, I'll take it.
Okay, I'll print it out for you.
Go ahead.
You need to step aside.
That's a baby step.
- Hello there.
- Hi.
I'm picking up two tickets to Sweden.
One is for me, and one is for my little Wipsy here.
Ohhh, she is so cute.
Thank you very much.
Are you excited to be a world traveler? Aren't you excited to go be on the big airplane up high in the sky? Are you going to Sweden? Yes, yes, I am, Yeah.
Okay, good, because I am trying to get there as well.
I'm trying to surprise my Swedish girlfriend.
Oh, hey, Swedish girls.
- They're the best, bro.
- I know.
- They're the best.
- I feel the same way.
My girlfriend and I we kind of broke up but it was kind of my fault, - and I'm trying to make things right - Okay.
- you know? Anyway, I can't get in touch with her and I'm trying now to make things right, you know, to just surprise her and go over there and just, you know, run up to her and just tell her that she's the one, you know? - Yes! - Yes.
That is so awesome.
It's so cool to see people doing stuff like that in this day and age.
Good for you.
Good luck.
I hope she says yes.
This is so exciting.
Thank you so much.
I was hoping you'd say that because I need a ticket and you have two, so I was hoping I could get, uh, one of yours.
Oh, wish I could, but I-I do need two tickets.
I have one for me and one is also for my little Wipsy, so I was thinking I could take the dog's ticket.
Oh.
You would like to sit - in the seat that my dog is sitting in? - Mm-hm.
Oh! That's interesting because what I'm trying to do is think of why it would be this dog's fault that you can't find a woman in America to love you.
- Are you serious right now? - Okay, sir, you're getting agitated and you're going to agitate little Wipsy, okay? And she is going to sissy all over my suit, and then we're all going to have a problem.
- I'm not even - Yeah.
Wip Wipsy Don't look at him.
Wipsy? She's going to get upset.
- Wipsy look away.
- She doesn't even look Wipsy look away.
Wipsy look away.
- Can you believe that guy? - You're a monster.
- I am? - I can't believe you terrorized that dog.
Are my tickets ready, at least? No, they're printing.
- Hello.
- Hi, can I help you? Yes, I was the one who called earlier and purchased all of the remaining tickets to Stockholm.
Oh, yes.
I have them right here ready to go.
Excellent.
Thank you.
I will not be needing these.
Have you seen a guy by the name of Bruce? Kind of a short man with a dumb face.
Oh, yes.
I know exactly who you're talking about.
- He's awful.
- Bingo.
He was in here earlier looking for tickets to Stockholm.
Oh, was he? Interesting.
Well, I guess he couldn't find any.
Oh, no, I was able to find him one.
Oh, I wish I could fire you right now.
I wish you could too.
And went straight to her family's summer house and met everyone.
I got really drunk, and I was jet-lagged, and I ended up passing out in the sauna.
Hey, honey, it's me.
Call me.
Love you.
I don't know, maybe she's already moved on.
You know? Maybe she's with Marcus right now, but I have to find out.
You know, 'cause that's the key.
You've got to fight, you know.
If you love somebody, you've got to fight for them.
So then I was just like, "All right, I'll try to do what I did before.
" I tried to be a Swedish money manager.
I met with two Swedish celebrities.
First guy, I have no idea what he was, he was, like, talking just love poems the whole time.
Second guy was actually from that group ABBA.
I don't know which guy it was, but he was like, "I don't need more money," so I was like, "This is not going to work," you know? So I just said, "You know what, Emma? I have to move back.
I want to move back.
" And she said, "Okay.
" And then her ex-boyfriend came, Marcus Here he comes! Oh Hah! Love lifts us up where we belong Where the eagles cry On a mountain high Love lifts us up where we belong (Tuneless) Where the eagles cry On the mountains high Love lifts us So then we moved in together, her apartment, Stockholm.
And that didn't go so well, actually.
We had totally different styles.
She wanted everything white and I like things with colors, you know, and so Anyway, we just decided to, like, get rid of everything, you know, start over.
Thought it would be, like, really romantic.
And actually, I didn't get rid of my Boomer Esiason football, which is probably She was right about that, that was stupid, you know.
But he's the best left-handed quarterback in NFL history, so I felt like I could at least keep that one thing, you know.
Honey, it's me.
Listen, I can't do this anymore, I miss you too much.
So, I'm coming to New York! I'm on my way right now, so don't go anywhere.
Okay, love you, see you soon! Emma! W-what are you doing here? I-I'm going to see you.
Wh? I-I was coming to see you.
You know, it's a good thing you're here because I have a lot to say to you, so just listen, okay? I just want to say that, like, I know maybe I'm not the best fit for you or for this country or for your family, but I love you and that like, that should mean something, - that should be enough, right? - Babe, I love you too.
I mean, the thing is, I found out these last few days that I love Sweden too! I mean, I love lagom, and I love jantelag, and I love saying hej hej to people.
But most of all, I love it because it's your home and everything here reminds me of you.
And I just want to be with you, like, every day, and God, this speech sounded so much better in my head - on the way here - Can we just meet in the middle? Yes! That's what I'm saying, - we've got to meet in the middle! - No, I-I mean now.
- Like meet up there.
- Yes! - In the middle.
- Yeah? Okay.
I'm so happy.
Me too.
- It's like a fresh start.
- I know.
And you had your thing with Marcus, I had my thing with Aubrey and we just forget about I-I didn't do anything with Marcus.
- You didn't? - Wait, what happened with Aubrey?