Who's the Boss? (1984) s01e10 Episode Script

Simply because you're near me Funny But when you're near me I'm in the mood for love Oh, well, if you can flambe a duck Hey, Mona, I'm back.
Kids okay? Never better.
They're sound asleep.
Hey, look at this place, huh? ReaI romantic.
You babysitters are all alike.
Trying to sneak in your boyfriend, huh? No such luck.
This is all for Angela and Jeffrey.
Oh, that's that lawyer she's been drooling over, huh? I want to make sure when he brings her home tonight that he doesn't get any wrong ideas, like leaving.
Well, I think you've got it covered.
I mean, brandy, candles, firelight.
If this guy don't get the picture, his shutter's not cocked.
Well, now all they need is a little privacy.
What are you doing home? Yeah, well, I went down to Brooklyn to see my friends, you know.
But it's just not the same.
I'm like an outsider there now.
Here, come on.
This will cheer you up.
I don't know.
I don't even know what's going on down there anymore.
Anita Camici is three months' pregnant, I just found out about it.
- Well, that's wonderfuI, a baby.
- Yeah, yeah.
So the guys were taking bets on who the father was, you know? I'm so out of it, I had to bet on the husband.
Jeffrey, this evening was wonderfuI.
Dinner and dancing.
I don't remember the last time I played miniature golf in an evening gown.
I'm just sorry the water slide was closed.
Come on.
- To the baby.
- To the baby.
Mother, Tony, is there something you two need to tell me about? Okay, this is your mother there.
- No, this is for you.
- Thank you.
Oh, boy, I'm beat.
Got to get to bed.
I'm tired.
- Good night.
- Wait a minute.
Wait.
Time out.
Who is this guy? Jeffrey, this is my housekeeper.
Tony.
- How you doing? - And my mother, Mona Robinson.
Hello.
This is for you.
Oh, boy, I'm beat.
Well, time to go to bed.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Tony.
Tony Micelli.
Good guess.
- I know you? - St.
Louis, 1981.
It was a long year.
Could you help me out? No, no.
We never met.
You played with the Cardinals for two months, second base number 14.
- You remember that? - Sure, you came up in June.
- You batted.
204.
- You remember that too.
It would have been.
304, if it wasn't for that bum shoulder.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You didn't say you had a housekeeper who played with the Cards.
I was waiting for just the right moment.
This is fantastic! I have seen this guy play.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Remember the second game in the L.
A.
series? Are you kidding? There I was at the plate.
- Dodger Stadium, 50,000 fans.
- Fifty-six thousand.
- He hit one so far out of there- - Wanna see the ball? - You're kidding.
You got the ball? - You bet your life.
Upstairs.
You mind? Two minutes.
I don't believe this.
How did you get the ball back? I had to date the old lady who caught it.
Isn't he amazing? He knows wine, he knows opera.
He even knows Tony.
He must be terrific at TriviaI Pursuit.
Well, what do you think? Do you like him? He's perfect.
He's just what Tony needs.
Excuse me? Well, you see, Tony's losing all of his old pals in Brooklyn so maybe Jeffrey can be his paI in Connecticut.
Well, sure.
Why not? You know, Jeffrey makes friends wherever we go.
He's on a first-name basis with the pretzeI man at Lincoln Centre.
- Now, that's clout.
- Oh, this will be great.
He'll come over, and he'll see Tony.
Then he'll see me.
Then he'll see more of me.
I'll be the only woman on the block who shares her man with her housekeeper.
No, Diane Wilmington does, only she doesn't know it.
Charlie Wilmington and Phoebe? Didn't I hear the doorbell? No, he's not here yet, Angela.
Do me a favour.
Put your hands up, just like that.
- All right, perfect.
- What is it? What-? It's good! We had such a great time at the Jets game.
Boy.
- Angela, you found us one great guy.
- I sure did, didn't I? He's fun, he's spontaneous, he's warm, he's thoughtfuI.
Yeah, he's got mid-court seats for the Knicks.
He's got 40-yard-line seats for the Jets.
He's got VIP parking at Shea Stadium.
I know, that's what first turned me on.
Hey, did he take you to Scottie's Sports Saloon yet? No, did he take you to Tavern on the Green? - No.
- Good.
You're gonna love Scottie's.
You should have seen the action there last night: The Jets, the Raiders, and a chick named Able MabeI.
- I'll get that- - That must be Jeff.
I'll get- Hi- Mother, it's you.
- Nice to see you too.
- She didn't mean it Mona.
We were ex- I mean, she was expecting Jeff.
Do you mean to tell me that you would rather go out with a rich, successfuI, handsome young lawyer than join your mother and two rowdy kids for root beer and rides at Pizza Playland? Every time.
- Great.
I raised you right.
Right? - Right.
- So where's he taking you? - I don't know.
- I'm sure it'll be someplace fun.
- Le Chardonnay, corner booth.
You're gonna be up on the balcony.
You'll love it.
So much for surprises.
Well, anyway, you'll know what to wear.
I'm wearing what I'm going to wear.
Well, in that case, you look nice, dear.
Yeah, yeah.
Angela, you look reaI nice but how about your black blouse? - Well, what's wrong with this? - Nothing.
It's reaI nice.
It's just that Jeff likes you in black.
Is there anything else that Jeff likes that you'd like to tell me about? Yeah, but that's between the two of you.
Tony! The kids.
- Hi, Grandma! - It's Mickey and Minnie.
- Here we go.
- Pizza Playland, here we come.
I'll say.
Tony, don't you want to go with us? No, no.
I'm gonna go down to Scottie's and watch the Knicks beat the Sixers.
Dad, wake up and smell the coffee.
Dr.
J's going to run us off the court.
Samantha, you're my daughter and I love you, but don't you ever say that.
Hey, there's always hope.
Have a good time.
- Okay, bye.
- Okay, troops, let's go.
Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two, three, four.
So you gonna wear the black blouse? Just go watch your football game.
It's the Knicks, Angela.
It's basketball.
Oh, Angela, by the way, don't mess with your hair.
He likes it that way.
- and travelling is called.
Travelling? Are you kidding? Did you see that call? Come on, defence! Hey, buddy, wake up and smell the coffee.
Dr.
J's running us off the court.
- Hey, Jeff! - Jeffrey! - Hi.
- Jeffrey! - What did I tell you? - You're right.
This place really is something.
Oh, no, I forgot it was hat night.
- Here.
It's okay, I'll lend you mine.
- Thanks.
Thanks.
Now I get my first three hot dogs free.
Come on.
Hey, Tony.
Oh, Jeff, that's you.
Hey, nice hat.
Don't you have one just like that? I didn't expect to see you guys here.
- How was dinner? - It was wonderfuI.
We were on our way to Eastport for dessert.
The car's radio broke down.
- I wanted to check the game's score.
-98-62, Philly.
You're kidding.
Cartwright, come on! Get the rebound! Wait.
No, no, no.
No, I promised.
I promised Angela I would not get involved.
That's okay.
I have to check my service anyway.
- Is there a phone? - Yeah, right over there.
- Excuse me.
- " Check my service"? They used to just say " powder my nose.
" - Hi, Jeff.
How's it going? - Well, can't complain, Sally.
Sally, huh? Can I get you something? I don't know.
What do you got in mind? She's got beer in mind, and you've got a date.
- Hi, I'm Tony Micelli.
- I'm off Wednesday night.
- You are? - I'll call you.
I'll answer.
All right, Grunfeld, come on! Come on.
Buddy, they're coming back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, buddy.
Buddy.
- What? - What was that all about? What? - What what? That.
- What, Sally? Yeah, Sally.
What happened to Angela? What about Angela? She's fabulous.
I know.
So, what are you making dates with the waitress for? What do you mean? I like Angela, Tony but we're not married, you know? I mean, she can go out with other guys, right? Well, sure.
Hey, and she does too, lots of them.
Doctors.
Hey, you know, she's got a friend who is as cute as she is if, you know, you're interested.
Yeah? But what happens if Angela finds out? - What? She doesn't let you date? - Not me, you.
What if she finds out? I mean, I'm not gonna go out of my way to tell her.
No messages.
- Well, I have got a message for you.
- Yeah? Jeffrey.
Oh, you're terrible.
- And I mean it.
- Good.
I'll go get the car.
I'll see you later, Tony.
Yeah, Jeff.
- Hey, Angela.
- Yeah? You know, I don't know what Jeff just whispered in your ear- Good, and you're not going to find out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But here's the thing- Tony, I think I'm falling in love.
Jeffrey, I don't know what it is about you but you always make me feeI so speciaI.
Good.
Because you are speciaI.
Excuse me.
Just taking out the garbage.
Tony, tonight is not garbage night.
I know, but I hate a cluttered kitchen.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
That Tony's a great guy.
Yeah, great.
Now, where were we? Ah, yes.
I think I was speciaI.
Well, let's pick it up right from there.
Oh, my God.
It's unbelievable, huh? Every place I go.
I'm sorry.
Well, I'm all finished with the garbage.
- Thank you.
- This is good night.
- I guess so.
Good night, Tony.
- Good night, Angela.
- Good night, Jeff.
- Night, Tony.
- Good night, Angela.
- No.
Not you, just him.
I'm sorry.
I've got a big case on Monday.
I've got to get up tomorrow, work early.
It's gonna take all day? Don't forget.
Scottie's.
Big game tomorrow.
Green Bay versus Jets.
- Sounds great.
- Okay.
I'll call you.
Soon.
Thanks a lot, Tony.
For what? The garbage? That's my job.
No problem.
You know what I mean.
Jeffrey is a very busy man.
He has very little time for recreation and I would rather he recreate with me.
Well, now that you mentioned it maybe you should find somebody else to recreate with.
Maybe you should.
I want to be with Jeffrey, and I saw him first.
Hey, look- Angela, I just don't think you should get so hung up on this guy, Jeff.
Oh, I see what you're trying to do.
You're trying to break us up.
You're jealous of Jeffrey and me.
I'm jealous? Hey, Angela, don't take this wrong but if you were thinking, like, me and you No, I'm not talking about me and you.
I'm talking about you and Jeffrey.
- What are you saying? - No.
It's nothing like that.
You see, it's very simple.
You're losing your friends in Brooklyn and you're in need of male companionship and you're stealing my boyfriend to get it.
Very good, Dr.
Brothers.
Angela, maybe this guy don't- He don't care about you as much as you think he does.
How dare you try to split us up? I just don't think he's the right guy for you! Jeffrey and I have something very speciaI and I'll thank you not to interfere.
You just keep your broken nose out of it! It's a deviated septum.
- Hey, Tony.
- Hey, Jeffrey.
Tony, come on over.
How are you doing? Hi, Sally.
How are you doing? - Hi, Tony.
- Did I miss anything? Yeah, just a goaI-line stand, fourth and inches and the first round of drinks.
Tony, this is Nanette.
It certainly is.
On T-shirt night, I do everything I read.
Oh, yeah.
You got a penciI? It has to be on a T-shirt.
Well when are you going to explode? As soon as somebody lights my fuse.
Forget the penciI.
You got a match? Hi, Mother.
How nice to see you.
Come in.
Sit down.
Okay, Angela, what's wrong? Nothing.
It's just I'm bored.
B- O-R-E-D.
Well, where is everybody? Well, Samantha and Jonathan went to the movies with the Coopers and Tony and Jeffrey are at that place.
- Scottie's? - Where else? Then you are not bored, you're ticked off.
Well, why didn't you go with them? If they'd wanted me to come, they'd have asked.
Angela, don't be an old poop.
They probably think that you don't like football.
- I don't like football.
- No, but you do like Jeffrey.
Are you saying I should pretend to like football - in order to get closer to a man? - It worked in high schooI, didn't it? Mother, I'm not gonna fit in.
I don't even know the players' names.
Well, what do you think newspapers are for? We're just going to- Oh, here.
We'll flip to the old sports page we'll make ourselves a crib sheet.
Ready? Here we go.
- Pat Ryan, quarterback.
- Pat Ryan, quarterback.
Tom Coombs, tight end We're crazy Jets fans, and we don't care who knows it/ We want a touchdown, and this is how we shows it/ Go, Jets.
Go/ Look, Angela, T-shirts.
I thought you said everybody wore hats here.
Well, they did the other night.
Well, too bad, because I look dynamite in a T-shirt.
Well, at least we have the players' names.
That's right.
Here we are.
Let's go Gastineau.
Let's go, Gastineau/ Let's go, Gastineau/ Go, Jets/ See what I mean? Oh, look, look.
- Come on, Ryan, throw the bomb.
- You can do it.
Catch it! Catch it! I hope this is a high-scoring game.
And it was nice meeting you, young lady.
I liked the game too.
- Wasn't it nice meeting them, Jeff? - What? - Jeff.
Jeff.
- What? Angela.
How about those Jets? - Mother, let's go.
- Angela, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
What's going on here? Are you guys married? No, no, no.
No, this is just a misunderstanding here.
Sally, right? Just a minute.
- Angela.
- They're married.
- Come on, Sally, let's get out of here.
- No, no, Nanette.
Angela.
- Please, just let me explain.
- No, no, no.
That's okay.
No, you're a free man.
You don't have to explain your Sunday afternoons to me.
It's just that I thought that Well, I guess I was wrong.
What do you mean? We just came down here to watch the game.
- Right, paI? - Right.
Tony didn't tell me he was bringing two girls.
Right, paI? - Hey, Jeff, wait a minute- - You never said that.
- Right, Tony? - I didn't say that.
But, you know, I was- Just answer the questions.
No, I never said I was gonna bring two girls.
Your witness, dear.
Tony, did you bring those two girls? Am I under oath? Hey, listen, I'm sorry.
I- If it was anybody else but Angela, I'd back you up.
But I can't, for her.
I can't.
Angela, Angela.
Okay, I met her here, but she means nothing to me.
- And I do? - Yes.
Didn't I tell you you were speciaI? Yes.
And I believed you.
Mother, I think the verdict is in.
Yes, and I think you just lost the case, counsellor.
Hey, I got caught with an honest witness.
Angela being with you You really are terrific.
Right.
Hey, Angela, I'm sorry.
Oh, it's not your fault.
You tried to tell me.
I just wouldn't listen.
Sorry you lost your friend.
So, what's so speciaI about him anyway? Yeah.
You take away his winning personality his season tickets, his VIP parking and Nanette Then he's just another lawyer, rich, successfuI, good-looking.
Think we could catch him in the parking lot? What a day, huh? You lost a friend, and you lost a lover.
Oh, well, the night's young.
One of us has got to get lucky.
Hi, guys.
I'm Mona.
Mona/ Mona/ Let's go, Mona/ Yay, Mona! Gee, this looks like fun.
Do you mind if I try? Lady, listen, we're playing for money here.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
I've got money.
I've got twenty dollars.
Is that enough? Rack 'em up.
Oh, I see.
You leave the money here and then whoever wins gets to keep it? That's right, ma'am.
- Here, you go first.
- All right.
- Here, big guy.
Hold my coat for me? - Allow me.
Okay, there we are.
- Here? - Yes.
- Okay.
Like this? - That's it.
Okay, here? Bank the six ball and sink it back home.