Ranma 12 s01e103 Episode Script

Though small and light this chessman-- Koharu! Checkmate! They say in a two-man exchange, take pawns.
Never waste them.
-- Checkmate.
-- Wait.
Mister, no waits! I gave you three already! Aw, c'mon.
One lil' wait won't kill ya.
That's not the problem! You refuse to grant a wait? Yep.
You've made me, Sankichi Urakishi, angry.
Let's settle this with Martial Arts Shogi! Fully utilizing 81 spaces in all directions chess that surpasses chess! Martial Arts Shogi even felled chess great, Yasuharu Inuyama! And exploding onto the Martial Shogi world is chess prodigy Sankichi Urakishi! Sankichi Urakishi, nothing! Ya got no talent! SHOGI ASSOCIATION Martial Shogi Ultimate Technique! Gold General Charge! It's Martial Shogi! Be very afraid.
-- Come and get me.
-- Thanks, I will.
Checkmate! Bold knight move! Fodder for my pawn! -- Checkmate! Got your rook! -- Take it, thief! -- Poor players protect rook over king.
-- Not yet! -- Oops! -- Give up?! One more move and I would've had checkmate.
Wasn't that kind of dirty, Saotome? Sorry.
I didn't do it on purpose.
Let's play another game.
If you cheat again, I'll never play with you again.
Now, now! I'm playing well today.
You won't win, anyway.
I was only fooling around.
This time it's for real.
You're shogi master, Genma Saotome, aren't you? -- Hey, I've seen you before.
-- It's me, it's me.
Don't you remember? It was in western Japan-- We ate tendon and ran off without paying--? That's not it! It was at Tsutenkaku Tower in Osaka--? Nope, not a clue! Look, it was one year ago--! Checkmate.
Wait! No waits.
Only the unworthy resort to waits.
You didn't know who you were up against, didja? Why not just concede? -- A knothole! There, too! -- Where?! Where?! Where is it?! Play this! How'd you do that? Checkmate.
I give up! Your name, if you please--! I am shogi master, Genma Saotome.
Come back after you've trained a little more.
You broke my winning streak and killed my pride! Even my beloved wife Koharu left me! Koharu! More sake! So you're trying to drown your defeat in sake?! You're pathetic! I can't stay with you anymore! -- Don't go, Koharu! -- Good-bye! Koharu! Come back--! I could devote my life to the game of shogi only because my beloved wife Koharu was there.
I hated you for making me lose her.
So I trained for all I was worth.
And now I've finally found you! Gotcha.
Not just yet.
-- What's the idea?! I was talking! -- We wanted something to do.
-- I challenge you to a game! -- Fine! Like a moth to a flame.
Checkmate.
Aren't you outplayed? How'd you ever beat him anyway? I'm going to win this time.
-- Knothole in the ceiling.
-- So what? -- Piglet in the garden.
-- Impossible.
There is? How unusual! A pet pig? -- He looks delicious! -- Checkmate! What a brilliant move! Saotome, you can't do that! A win is a win.
That's all that matters in shogi.
One more game.
What're you?! "I'm a panda!" My pride is in tatters again! I'll never get Koharu back now! Now, now.
It's only a game.
Never! With me, shogi is life or death! Fine.
I'll fight you with Martial Arts Shogi! What the heck--?! Look at this body of gold! My loss to you has demoted me from king to gold general! I'll end my humiliation with Martial Shogi! I'm home! -- I'm starved.
-- What's for our snack? Koharu! -- Here you are! -- Who're you?! -- Checkmate! -- What was that for?! For stealing my beloved wife Koharu away! -- What?! -- She looks exactly like her.
There's no resemblance! -- You're both strong-willed.
-- Don't insult me! We've only met! Who is he, Dad? A friend? -- Well, he's Genma's-- -- Disciple! What?! You impertinent--! I've given shogi up.
Be so resigned.
What're you talking about? Joke about it while you can! Prepare to lose! Here I come! That was fun! Grandfather Happosai! That was awful! Koharu, you've come back?! Hands off! Koharu!! Since you started this you'll just have to be the one to finish it.
Right, Saotome? Nice and cold! Don't change the subject.
Grandfather Happosai, what's Martial Arts Shogi? It's prob'ly some weirdo martial arts school.
In Martial Shogi men fight on a supersized chessboard as chess pieces.
Weird and mysterious, it's the first and last school of its kind.
You'll be sorry if you take it lightly.
Ranma, it's as he said.
Don't take the enemy lightly.
Why should I fight him? You must! A father's foe is his son's! A son's foe is his own! That's the father-son bond.
I'm gonna take a nap before dinner.
See this?! A flanking-move formation! Why do we have to stay here? They attack when you step onto a square.
I'm home.
What's going on, everybody? Attack! Nabiki! Get off of the board! What's the idea--?! Hey--! Koharu! You came back to me! Who's got a dorky name like that? I'm home! I'll start dinner right now.
Koharu! You've come back! Huh? You like to go shopping! You're my true Koharu! He thinks every girl is Koharu, doesn't he? Get away from him, Kasumi! Get her! What's the big idea?! Koharu! Don't run from me! -- I'm Kasumi! Not Koharu! -- Too beautiful! -- There.
You're safe now.
-- Oh, no.
-- My shopping basket! -- Our dinner! -- It's ours! -- Stop! Our dinner! Bring back my steak! My fatty tuna! As if that's in here! Interesting! Let's go, Ranma! Leeks! Cabbage! -- Potatoes! -- Eggs! -- Dried sardines! -- Tofu! Where's my steak?! What a pretty sunset.
Ladies first, jerk! Forget it! Not this time! Look, a knothole.
A piglet.
Shaddap! We're on to ya! This is pathetic! I'm the oldest! Everybody should defer to me! Not even for teacher, child or friend, will I--! Here you are.
The water took a long time to boil.
-- No cutting in, Kasumi! -- Oh! There's luck in leftovers.
That was delicious.
I'll fix some tea.
What's wrong, Father? It's that crummy shogi-player's fault! I'll never forgive him! He ruined our dinner!! That's Sankichi's voice! It is! He hasn't learned his lesson.
Look! I'm king! This is the fitting piece for me! "Fitting"?! That's lame! Let's play some real shogi! Right, Saotome? We can beat him, right? Hey, come on! I accept your challenge! I'll see you at the shrine tomorrow at noon! -- Are you sure about this, Dad? -- Pop! Good grief--! Why'd ya hafta come? You can't defeat him by yourselves.
This is a real shogi battle.
You can't win unless you use your head.
We can handle it! Ranma, do you know the rules of shogi? I quit, after all.
Are you crazy, Saotome? You're the one who started it all! Pop! You're a poor loser! If only I hadn't won back then! Never has my wondrous skill seemed so offensive--! You're offensive.
Not your skill.
By the way, where's the ol' freak? Right there.
So what's your role? Amateurs just don't know.
In baseball and sumo there're non-participants who offer comments and advice.
-- That's me.
-- Oh! Let's get started.
You have fewer men, so you may move first.
Let's go!! S'matter? Hurry up, willya? Why're they moving so slowly? Pawns can only move one square at a time.
Come on, willya? Now! Go! -- Lances, cross! -- Cross! Cross! Heh! There! Pop! Happosai, what happens to Mr.
Saotome? He's a captured man, so he's held in hand until they need him.
Wait over here until we need you! Think you're so smart--! I'll clear the board!! Bishop! Bishop, bishop, bishop! Ain't diagonal moves against the rules?! Rook! How come yer comin' straight for me?! What's going on?! They're moving too far! It's cheating! Bishops can move anywhere diagonally.
Rooks can move anywhere front, backwards and sideways.
If they can't anticipate the opponent's moves, they'll lose.
Another captive.
Bring him here! Dad! Ranma! Get diagonally behind the gold general! I know your weak spot! I'll just move diagonally! Not there!! What's going on, Happosai? Gold generals can't move diagonally or backwards.
Silver generals can't move sideways or backwards.
What a pain! Ranma, go to the silver general's side! Can't move, can ya? We've lost another one.
-- Here goes!! -- Ranma, I'm coming, too! Like moths to a flame! We know how they're going to move, but there're too many! Hey, we can move anyplace! You're right! Hey, wait--! All cleared! A-Akane! Why don't we give up soon? I still have some men left.
You can't fight your allies, can you? But I always fight Pop.
Dad, you're not going to fight me? Sorry! Sorry, Ranma! I'm doing this against my will! Sorry, Ranma! It's against my will! Forgive me, Ranma! Quit it, Pop! I've had it! You're hittin' for real!! Ranma, what're you doing to your dear old dad?! Here's your chance! Rest in pieces, Pop! How merciless the world of martial arts.
Ranma! Stop it! Koharu! You've come back! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Let's go home.
Hop on.
Are you crazy?! No, no--! Let Akane go! She's not Akane, she's Koharu! See how she sticks to me! I can't get away! That's dirty! You know I can't land a punch! All part of the strategy.
Let's end this now! Martial Shogi, the ultimate of ultimate moves! Deadly Shogi Crush! Pile on, men! What's that? That's what you call stacking shogi.
Dear! Dear, what're you doing? Koharu, it's you! You've come back?! That's Koharu? -- What're you wearing in this heat? -- I was playing chess.
-- Can't you stop playing around? -- It's not play, it's a hobby-- Play, hobby, who cares? Just work hard.
Let's go home.
Where'd you find that girl? How vulgar.
She followed me.
I didn't do anything.
-- I love you best, after all.
-- You sweet-talker, you.
Dinner's ready.
Come on home.
Coming!! Dinner! Akane! Koharu, his beloved wife? Frogs're croaking; let's go home! What's for dinner? -- Steak, of course! -- Fatty tuna sashimi! Hurry up, Ranma! Is he crazy? How can I go any faster?! What luck.
-- How come I gotta do this?! -- Aw, come on.
Wait up--!