Aliens in America s01e11 Episode Script
Mom's coma
because you never know when something horrible's going to happen.
Great news, Justin.
And here it is now.
I just got off the phone with your choir teacher, and she got us our usual tickets at the Sound of Music sing-along in Milwaukee next week! Mom, uh Oh, and I'm so sorry I couldn't get you two tickets.
No problem.
Not to worry.
Just think- this year you really are 16 going on 17, Rolfe.
Mom, I think I'm getting a little bit old for that kind of thing.
You ow, the Wilsons go to this every year, and they're almost 90.
Come on, kids.
We're going to be late for school.
I'll meet you outside.
Why does she think she's taking us to school? I thought we put an end to that.
I may have suggested that it would be convenient if she picked us up and dropped us off today.
Yeah.
Convenient for the people wondering whether or not to beat us up.
Look, in Pakistan, it is an honor to be dropped off by your parents.
Okay, it is not cool there, either, but the bus is so dirty.
Have a great day at school.
Thank you, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
You're welcome, Raja.
Hey, where's my kiss? Mom, I have to go.
In kind of a hurry.
I love you, pumpkin pie! And don't forget to pick up those Sound of Music tickets! Hey, pumpkin pie! Now this was something really horrible.
Trey Tozer was the kind of bully even bullies were afraid of.
You like The Sound of Music? I like the sound of music your head's gonna make when I pound it with my authentic tonfa fighting stick! Trey had a gift for crafting obscure weaponry.
Certain members of the faculty had taken it upon themselves to nurture his creative spirit.
Excellent halberd.
Tozer! What do you think you're doing with that tonfa? Nothing.
I thought I made it clear.
Weapons are for shop class only.
Trying to Chow Yun-Fat around here.
It's ridiculous, kid.
See you at lunch, Justin.
I'm gonna kill you.
And that is why we don't let my mom drive us to school.
ÃüÃô¸ÃÃâ¹úÃà µÃ1¼¾ µÃ11¼¯ -==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»Ãé==- ·ÂÃ룺¸ÃÃÃID ã㺸ÃÃÃID ñ¼äÃ᣺ì ±ó my mother got him a piece of sports memorabilia from his wish list.
The whole thing had never made a lot of sense to her.
What's the deal with this baseball card? It's worth a lot more because they misspelled "Yastrzemski.
" Well, that's just stupid.
My mom had resolved to look elsewhere for a non-stupid gift when fate intervened.
Criminy sake.
$180 for a baseball card.
I could feed my family for two weeks on that.
-==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃðÃãÃé·îÃÃ==- ±¾ÃÃĻ½Ã¹©Ã§Ã°½»Ã÷£¬ÃýûÃÃÃÃÃÃõÃÃþ There was almost no damage to the other car, and there were no witnesses.
A year ago, she might have just driven away.
Gar, speed through the commercial.
I do not think it is right to not watch the commercials.
Commercials are how we pay for the show.
Otherwise, I think we are stealing.
and it had affected all of us.
ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»ÃéÃ÷÷ »Ã¼ÃÃë I spent the rest of thday trying to avoid Trey.
I even ate my lunch in a bathroom stall with my feet up so he couldn't find me.
My plan was to pick up those damn Sound of Music tickets and get out of there in one piece.
There's my little Tolchuck.
Matthews took my tonfa away, so I thought I'd try these.
It's not as fun as I thought.
I'm sorry.
Come with me.
Now, just hold still or wiggle.
It's your choice.
Tolchuck! There you are.
Mr.
Matthews sent me to get you.
Your mother's been in a car accident.
Is she okay?! Is my mom all right?! Calm down, Tolchuck.
If something was seriously wrong, I would have found you myself.
Which reminds me, you know which class Kenny Henderson's in? What? No.
Mm.
I would not want to be him right now.
Mom? Mom, are you okay? Oh, yeah, honey, I'm fine.
I just got in a little fender bender, and I have to take the car to the shop is all, so, I just wanted you to know I won't be picking you up after school.
That's it? Well, yeah.
Were you worried about me, honey? Of course I was worried! How can I not be worried?! Oh, Justin.
That is so sweet.
Hey, did you pick up those tickets for The Sound of Music? Justin? Franny, what happened to our car? Oh.
Well, I bumped into one of those hybrids.
There was hardly any damage to their car, but I left a note just to be safe.
You left a note? I did the right thing, Gar.
Of course you did, but what if this hybrid owner isn't as moral as us? I mean, the reason they drive those golf carts is because they feel guilty about something.
Oprah Winfrey has a hybrid.
End of discussion.
All I'm saying is, they might use this note- this evidence- to get us to pay for every little scratch they've had on their car for years.
Oh, they're not gonna do that.
How long ago did this happen? My dad told my mom he was taking her car to the shop, but he made a little detour on the way there.
Oh, dear God.
Hey! This guy just hit a car, and now he's running away! No! No! I-I I would never! I'm leaving a note! I'm leaving a note.
Leaving a note.
There we go.
There we go.
Leaving a note.
There we go.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
He's gonna keep trying out his weapons on me.
I heard he was building a catapult to launch me over the school.
Why do you suppose people treat you like this? What? I have noticed that you are frequently picked on, Justin.
I wonder what it is you are doing to antagonize people.
What I am doing? I just mean it might help to take responsibility for your role.
Perhaps you are doing something that makes Trey feel like you do not respect him.
When I talk to somebody, I like to look them in the eye.
I find people appreciate this.
Raja, it doesn't matter where I look at him, okay? He's still gonna be a tonfa-wielding psychopath.
I was just trying to help, Justin.
You got any metal on you? Nope.
Just this wooden sword.
Perhaps if you sat him down and told him his behavior is unpleasant to you, he would stop.
How about I practice by saying it to you? Hey pumpkin! I felt pity for you on Friday when you got that call about your mom, but today, it's go time.
Meet me in the parking lot right after school.
I I can't.
Why not? Because of my mom again? I have to visit her in the hospital.
She's in a coma.
Your mom's in a coma? Yeah.
The accident was really bad.
Wow.
I didn't know.
Yeah, I know you didn't, Trey, but when you start pointing wooden swords at people whose mothers are in the hospital, it's I'm I'm sorry.
Is she gonna be okay? Well, I think my being alive really helps her.
Well, I hope she gets better, man.
Oh, my God.
I'm alive.
Justin, you should be ashamed.
Well, you know, the thing about shame is that you have to be alive in order to feel it.
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, you cannot tell such a lie about your mother, Justin.
It is disrespectful.
Is this guy bothering you? Oh no.
No.
He he was just What's the matter with you, man?! Don't you know his mom's in a coma?! I was only talking to him.
You know, maybe I should meet youin the parking lot after school today? I cannot.
Why not? I was also going to visit his mother in the hospital because of her coma.
He lives with my family.
She is like a mother to me, too.
A few months earlier, Raja wouldn't have lied so easily.
It was nice to know we were having an affect on him, as well.
You were right! Who? Just got a fax from that hybrid owner.
Doesn't mind wasting fax paper, that's for sure.
He wants $1,500 in damages.
He says I smashed up the front of his car! Oh, geez.
This is the thanks I get for leaving a note?! He lied to me! Can you imagine that? Can you imagine lying to me? Stupid bastard.
I'll tell you one thing.
That joker does not know who he's dealing with.
I'd rather make love to Helen Willis thanebra Fisher, but I'd rather be Debra Fisher.
None of them are as hot as Tolchuck's mom.
Dooley, that's not even funny.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I would tear that up.
Just shut up.
Shut up, okay? No mention of my mother.
I mean it! How you holding up, guys? We're good.
We are we are fine, thanks.
Mind if I sit down? Yeah, no, not at all.
Have a seat.
How's your mom doing? Worse.
Yeah.
Yeah, a little a little worse.
I didn't know a coma could get worse.
Oh.
Well, yeah, before she made this like low groaning noise, and now e doesn't even make that anymore, so Yes, I miss the groan.
I went to the drug store during third period, swiped a card for her.
Wow.
That is so kind, Trey.
Yeah, thanks, I'll, uh, I'll read it to her and wave it in front of her face.
Maybe she'll pick something up.
It-it will rlly mean a lot to her.
I also got some cough medicine.
Oh, no, no.
Oh, you-you go ahead.
And there's this angel.
I wanted to ask you to hang it above her bed.
I made it in metal shop for my mom, but I never got the chance to give it to her.
She died? No, she's in prison.
Of course.
Yeah, they got rules against metal gifts 'cause of all the shankings.
Sure, sure.
Mmm.
I know how hard it is when you can only talk to your mom through 12-inch Plexi.
I was thinking that must be what a coma's like.
Yeah, well, it's, uh, that pretty much, uh, sums it up.
Sums it up.
You-you know what? I'm gonna-I'm gonna ave this here for just a second.
I will be right back.
Mom, what are you doing here? I came to get those Sound of Music tickets you keep forgetting to pick Up.
Okay, well, I-I told you I'm not going to that.
Plus I really don't want to be seen with you right now.
Ooh, that's a heck of a note.
After I came all the way down here.
Hey, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
Oh, hello, Dooley.
Mom, please just get out of here! You know, you keep threatening not to go to that sing-along with me, I might just take somebody else.
Good.
Leave me alone.
Please.
Did I somebody say something about sing-along? Yeah, it's The Sound of Music.
Sound of Music? That's my favorite Austrian-based musical.
Uh-huh.
In other words, I'd-I'd be happy to join you.
All righty then.
At least your friends don't find me embarrassing.
for hurting my mother's feelings.
But the woman had no boundaries.
She treated me like a three-year-old.
If she had just let me take the bus to school in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Hey! How you guys doing? We are okay.
We hung the angel you made above my mom's bed.
I think she really liked it.
Yes.
She blinked.
Blinked several times.
Doctor said that means that she's happy.
Cool.
That's good.
We cannot keep doing this.
Do you have a better idea? This coma is the only thing keeping him from killing us.
What if we simply tell him the truth? I mean, we are friends now.
Perhaps Trey will find the anecdote amusing.
The best thing about making them inside the school, you don't have to go through the metal detector.
Meanwhile, my mom was continuing to play rough with the man whose car she hit.
Oh, thank you so much.
I'll be right down to get it.
Gar, that was the security guy down at the mini mall.
They got a camera on that parking lot 24 hours a day.
The whole thing should be on tape.
Hah! Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hello.
I'll give you a ride.
Oh, no, we That's okay.
Here, come on, really, I want to.
Just throw the floggers in the back seat.
Justin, say hi to your mom today.
Uh, whoops.
What's he talking about? Uh, we were going to go visit my mom.
In the hospital.
In the-in the hospital.
Yeah, so he just wanted us to say hello.
That's cool.
Yeah, I'll take you there.
Uh, no, no, no, it's really not necessary.
Hey! I'm trying to be nice.
Trey's nice seemed very similar to his not-so-nice.
Let's go.
So here we were in the hospital corridor.
So far, my plan consisted of walking very, very slowly, but I knew that sooner or later I would have to think of something else.
Find me a mother and hang this over her bed.
I will be right back.
So where's your mother? I'm sorry, I just need a second.
Sometimes it's still hard.
I understand.
Listen, Justin, I feel really bad about threatening to beat you up.
Oh, it's okay.
I just never would have thought you and me could be friends.
It's funny.
Although, you kind of look like my buddy Derrick.
Well, before I shot off half his face off.
You know, he might be in this hospital.
We should say "hey.
" Justin, I have just said hello to your mother in room 22.
As I believe I stated before, I am so overcome with emotion, that I have to get out of here.
Hi, Mom.
Hey, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
Aren't you coming in? Hey, Mom, this is Trey.
He's the one that made that angel for you.
He just wanted to say hi.
At least you can still hold your mother's hand, you know? This is nice.
Meanwhile, my mother had brought home the surveillance video from the mini mall parking lot.
Oh, can't wait to see the look on their faces when we show this to them in court.
It was me.
I went there after you to take the note away, and I smashed their car.
They're not lying, they're telling the truth.
But it wasn't you, it was me.
What? Franny, you have to understand what it's like to be a man in this country.
The pressures.
What's wrong with the tape? He said it cuts out at a one point.
I guess we didn't get all of it.
Ah, geez.
Gary, how could you do that? You lied to me! I don't want the family to suffer.
I'll pay for the damages by selling my memorabilia collection.
All of it.
Gary, that's not going to work.
There are one or two pieces in you collection that aren't as authentic as they look.
Mom went on to explain that we had counterfeited most of his birthday gifts over the last ten years.
"With love Lynn Swann.
" Whoever the hell she is.
Even the football? Well it brings you as much joy as the real one would have.
And all these things are so dumb.
And so my parents found themselves at a rare marital stalemate.
Both had every reason to be furious, but neither one dared.
Is she moving? I- I think we should go.
What if she wakes up? What's happening? Can you wait right outside please? Yeah.
As we waited in the hallway, it occurred to me that there was a real woman who was sick in there.
And she was probably somebody's mom.
I found myself just wishing that she would be all right.
She's fine.
The leads to her monitor became disconnected.
So which one of you is Mrs.
Warner's son? He is.
Wait a minute Warner? Getting punched in the face really, really hurts.
Trey was arrested after being wrestled to the ground by three orderlies.
As for me, when you have a mouthful of blood and teeth, there's only one person you want to see more than any other.
Oh, you must be Mrs.
Tolchuck.
He's doing just fine.
So maybe boundaries weren't her strong suit.
But she was my mother.
Brown paper packages tied up with string These are a few of my favorite things Mmm, Justin, you are so darn talented.
And she wasn't in a coma, and she wasn't in jail, but when I really needed her, she always came through.
And then I don't feel Don't feel So bad
Great news, Justin.
And here it is now.
I just got off the phone with your choir teacher, and she got us our usual tickets at the Sound of Music sing-along in Milwaukee next week! Mom, uh Oh, and I'm so sorry I couldn't get you two tickets.
No problem.
Not to worry.
Just think- this year you really are 16 going on 17, Rolfe.
Mom, I think I'm getting a little bit old for that kind of thing.
You ow, the Wilsons go to this every year, and they're almost 90.
Come on, kids.
We're going to be late for school.
I'll meet you outside.
Why does she think she's taking us to school? I thought we put an end to that.
I may have suggested that it would be convenient if she picked us up and dropped us off today.
Yeah.
Convenient for the people wondering whether or not to beat us up.
Look, in Pakistan, it is an honor to be dropped off by your parents.
Okay, it is not cool there, either, but the bus is so dirty.
Have a great day at school.
Thank you, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
You're welcome, Raja.
Hey, where's my kiss? Mom, I have to go.
In kind of a hurry.
I love you, pumpkin pie! And don't forget to pick up those Sound of Music tickets! Hey, pumpkin pie! Now this was something really horrible.
Trey Tozer was the kind of bully even bullies were afraid of.
You like The Sound of Music? I like the sound of music your head's gonna make when I pound it with my authentic tonfa fighting stick! Trey had a gift for crafting obscure weaponry.
Certain members of the faculty had taken it upon themselves to nurture his creative spirit.
Excellent halberd.
Tozer! What do you think you're doing with that tonfa? Nothing.
I thought I made it clear.
Weapons are for shop class only.
Trying to Chow Yun-Fat around here.
It's ridiculous, kid.
See you at lunch, Justin.
I'm gonna kill you.
And that is why we don't let my mom drive us to school.
ÃüÃô¸ÃÃâ¹úÃà µÃ1¼¾ µÃ11¼¯ -==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»Ãé==- ·ÂÃ룺¸ÃÃÃID ã㺸ÃÃÃID ñ¼äÃ᣺ì ±ó my mother got him a piece of sports memorabilia from his wish list.
The whole thing had never made a lot of sense to her.
What's the deal with this baseball card? It's worth a lot more because they misspelled "Yastrzemski.
" Well, that's just stupid.
My mom had resolved to look elsewhere for a non-stupid gift when fate intervened.
Criminy sake.
$180 for a baseball card.
I could feed my family for two weeks on that.
-==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃðÃãÃé·îÃÃ==- ±¾ÃÃĻ½Ã¹©Ã§Ã°½»Ã÷£¬ÃýûÃÃÃÃÃÃõÃÃþ There was almost no damage to the other car, and there were no witnesses.
A year ago, she might have just driven away.
Gar, speed through the commercial.
I do not think it is right to not watch the commercials.
Commercials are how we pay for the show.
Otherwise, I think we are stealing.
and it had affected all of us.
ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»ÃéÃ÷÷ »Ã¼ÃÃë I spent the rest of thday trying to avoid Trey.
I even ate my lunch in a bathroom stall with my feet up so he couldn't find me.
My plan was to pick up those damn Sound of Music tickets and get out of there in one piece.
There's my little Tolchuck.
Matthews took my tonfa away, so I thought I'd try these.
It's not as fun as I thought.
I'm sorry.
Come with me.
Now, just hold still or wiggle.
It's your choice.
Tolchuck! There you are.
Mr.
Matthews sent me to get you.
Your mother's been in a car accident.
Is she okay?! Is my mom all right?! Calm down, Tolchuck.
If something was seriously wrong, I would have found you myself.
Which reminds me, you know which class Kenny Henderson's in? What? No.
Mm.
I would not want to be him right now.
Mom? Mom, are you okay? Oh, yeah, honey, I'm fine.
I just got in a little fender bender, and I have to take the car to the shop is all, so, I just wanted you to know I won't be picking you up after school.
That's it? Well, yeah.
Were you worried about me, honey? Of course I was worried! How can I not be worried?! Oh, Justin.
That is so sweet.
Hey, did you pick up those tickets for The Sound of Music? Justin? Franny, what happened to our car? Oh.
Well, I bumped into one of those hybrids.
There was hardly any damage to their car, but I left a note just to be safe.
You left a note? I did the right thing, Gar.
Of course you did, but what if this hybrid owner isn't as moral as us? I mean, the reason they drive those golf carts is because they feel guilty about something.
Oprah Winfrey has a hybrid.
End of discussion.
All I'm saying is, they might use this note- this evidence- to get us to pay for every little scratch they've had on their car for years.
Oh, they're not gonna do that.
How long ago did this happen? My dad told my mom he was taking her car to the shop, but he made a little detour on the way there.
Oh, dear God.
Hey! This guy just hit a car, and now he's running away! No! No! I-I I would never! I'm leaving a note! I'm leaving a note.
Leaving a note.
There we go.
There we go.
Leaving a note.
There we go.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
He's gonna keep trying out his weapons on me.
I heard he was building a catapult to launch me over the school.
Why do you suppose people treat you like this? What? I have noticed that you are frequently picked on, Justin.
I wonder what it is you are doing to antagonize people.
What I am doing? I just mean it might help to take responsibility for your role.
Perhaps you are doing something that makes Trey feel like you do not respect him.
When I talk to somebody, I like to look them in the eye.
I find people appreciate this.
Raja, it doesn't matter where I look at him, okay? He's still gonna be a tonfa-wielding psychopath.
I was just trying to help, Justin.
You got any metal on you? Nope.
Just this wooden sword.
Perhaps if you sat him down and told him his behavior is unpleasant to you, he would stop.
How about I practice by saying it to you? Hey pumpkin! I felt pity for you on Friday when you got that call about your mom, but today, it's go time.
Meet me in the parking lot right after school.
I I can't.
Why not? Because of my mom again? I have to visit her in the hospital.
She's in a coma.
Your mom's in a coma? Yeah.
The accident was really bad.
Wow.
I didn't know.
Yeah, I know you didn't, Trey, but when you start pointing wooden swords at people whose mothers are in the hospital, it's I'm I'm sorry.
Is she gonna be okay? Well, I think my being alive really helps her.
Well, I hope she gets better, man.
Oh, my God.
I'm alive.
Justin, you should be ashamed.
Well, you know, the thing about shame is that you have to be alive in order to feel it.
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, you cannot tell such a lie about your mother, Justin.
It is disrespectful.
Is this guy bothering you? Oh no.
No.
He he was just What's the matter with you, man?! Don't you know his mom's in a coma?! I was only talking to him.
You know, maybe I should meet youin the parking lot after school today? I cannot.
Why not? I was also going to visit his mother in the hospital because of her coma.
He lives with my family.
She is like a mother to me, too.
A few months earlier, Raja wouldn't have lied so easily.
It was nice to know we were having an affect on him, as well.
You were right! Who? Just got a fax from that hybrid owner.
Doesn't mind wasting fax paper, that's for sure.
He wants $1,500 in damages.
He says I smashed up the front of his car! Oh, geez.
This is the thanks I get for leaving a note?! He lied to me! Can you imagine that? Can you imagine lying to me? Stupid bastard.
I'll tell you one thing.
That joker does not know who he's dealing with.
I'd rather make love to Helen Willis thanebra Fisher, but I'd rather be Debra Fisher.
None of them are as hot as Tolchuck's mom.
Dooley, that's not even funny.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I would tear that up.
Just shut up.
Shut up, okay? No mention of my mother.
I mean it! How you holding up, guys? We're good.
We are we are fine, thanks.
Mind if I sit down? Yeah, no, not at all.
Have a seat.
How's your mom doing? Worse.
Yeah.
Yeah, a little a little worse.
I didn't know a coma could get worse.
Oh.
Well, yeah, before she made this like low groaning noise, and now e doesn't even make that anymore, so Yes, I miss the groan.
I went to the drug store during third period, swiped a card for her.
Wow.
That is so kind, Trey.
Yeah, thanks, I'll, uh, I'll read it to her and wave it in front of her face.
Maybe she'll pick something up.
It-it will rlly mean a lot to her.
I also got some cough medicine.
Oh, no, no.
Oh, you-you go ahead.
And there's this angel.
I wanted to ask you to hang it above her bed.
I made it in metal shop for my mom, but I never got the chance to give it to her.
She died? No, she's in prison.
Of course.
Yeah, they got rules against metal gifts 'cause of all the shankings.
Sure, sure.
Mmm.
I know how hard it is when you can only talk to your mom through 12-inch Plexi.
I was thinking that must be what a coma's like.
Yeah, well, it's, uh, that pretty much, uh, sums it up.
Sums it up.
You-you know what? I'm gonna-I'm gonna ave this here for just a second.
I will be right back.
Mom, what are you doing here? I came to get those Sound of Music tickets you keep forgetting to pick Up.
Okay, well, I-I told you I'm not going to that.
Plus I really don't want to be seen with you right now.
Ooh, that's a heck of a note.
After I came all the way down here.
Hey, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
Oh, hello, Dooley.
Mom, please just get out of here! You know, you keep threatening not to go to that sing-along with me, I might just take somebody else.
Good.
Leave me alone.
Please.
Did I somebody say something about sing-along? Yeah, it's The Sound of Music.
Sound of Music? That's my favorite Austrian-based musical.
Uh-huh.
In other words, I'd-I'd be happy to join you.
All righty then.
At least your friends don't find me embarrassing.
for hurting my mother's feelings.
But the woman had no boundaries.
She treated me like a three-year-old.
If she had just let me take the bus to school in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Hey! How you guys doing? We are okay.
We hung the angel you made above my mom's bed.
I think she really liked it.
Yes.
She blinked.
Blinked several times.
Doctor said that means that she's happy.
Cool.
That's good.
We cannot keep doing this.
Do you have a better idea? This coma is the only thing keeping him from killing us.
What if we simply tell him the truth? I mean, we are friends now.
Perhaps Trey will find the anecdote amusing.
The best thing about making them inside the school, you don't have to go through the metal detector.
Meanwhile, my mom was continuing to play rough with the man whose car she hit.
Oh, thank you so much.
I'll be right down to get it.
Gar, that was the security guy down at the mini mall.
They got a camera on that parking lot 24 hours a day.
The whole thing should be on tape.
Hah! Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hello.
I'll give you a ride.
Oh, no, we That's okay.
Here, come on, really, I want to.
Just throw the floggers in the back seat.
Justin, say hi to your mom today.
Uh, whoops.
What's he talking about? Uh, we were going to go visit my mom.
In the hospital.
In the-in the hospital.
Yeah, so he just wanted us to say hello.
That's cool.
Yeah, I'll take you there.
Uh, no, no, no, it's really not necessary.
Hey! I'm trying to be nice.
Trey's nice seemed very similar to his not-so-nice.
Let's go.
So here we were in the hospital corridor.
So far, my plan consisted of walking very, very slowly, but I knew that sooner or later I would have to think of something else.
Find me a mother and hang this over her bed.
I will be right back.
So where's your mother? I'm sorry, I just need a second.
Sometimes it's still hard.
I understand.
Listen, Justin, I feel really bad about threatening to beat you up.
Oh, it's okay.
I just never would have thought you and me could be friends.
It's funny.
Although, you kind of look like my buddy Derrick.
Well, before I shot off half his face off.
You know, he might be in this hospital.
We should say "hey.
" Justin, I have just said hello to your mother in room 22.
As I believe I stated before, I am so overcome with emotion, that I have to get out of here.
Hi, Mom.
Hey, Mrs.
Tolchuck.
Aren't you coming in? Hey, Mom, this is Trey.
He's the one that made that angel for you.
He just wanted to say hi.
At least you can still hold your mother's hand, you know? This is nice.
Meanwhile, my mother had brought home the surveillance video from the mini mall parking lot.
Oh, can't wait to see the look on their faces when we show this to them in court.
It was me.
I went there after you to take the note away, and I smashed their car.
They're not lying, they're telling the truth.
But it wasn't you, it was me.
What? Franny, you have to understand what it's like to be a man in this country.
The pressures.
What's wrong with the tape? He said it cuts out at a one point.
I guess we didn't get all of it.
Ah, geez.
Gary, how could you do that? You lied to me! I don't want the family to suffer.
I'll pay for the damages by selling my memorabilia collection.
All of it.
Gary, that's not going to work.
There are one or two pieces in you collection that aren't as authentic as they look.
Mom went on to explain that we had counterfeited most of his birthday gifts over the last ten years.
"With love Lynn Swann.
" Whoever the hell she is.
Even the football? Well it brings you as much joy as the real one would have.
And all these things are so dumb.
And so my parents found themselves at a rare marital stalemate.
Both had every reason to be furious, but neither one dared.
Is she moving? I- I think we should go.
What if she wakes up? What's happening? Can you wait right outside please? Yeah.
As we waited in the hallway, it occurred to me that there was a real woman who was sick in there.
And she was probably somebody's mom.
I found myself just wishing that she would be all right.
She's fine.
The leads to her monitor became disconnected.
So which one of you is Mrs.
Warner's son? He is.
Wait a minute Warner? Getting punched in the face really, really hurts.
Trey was arrested after being wrestled to the ground by three orderlies.
As for me, when you have a mouthful of blood and teeth, there's only one person you want to see more than any other.
Oh, you must be Mrs.
Tolchuck.
He's doing just fine.
So maybe boundaries weren't her strong suit.
But she was my mother.
Brown paper packages tied up with string These are a few of my favorite things Mmm, Justin, you are so darn talented.
And she wasn't in a coma, and she wasn't in jail, but when I really needed her, she always came through.
And then I don't feel Don't feel So bad