Awkward s01e11 Episode Script

Previously on Awkward.
You could disappear and no one would notice.
I like you, I'm just not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship.
I saw a girl get out of Matty's truck.
I think he's hooking up with someone else.
The reason I keep bringing up our kiss is because I like like you.
I don't want to be friends.
I want to be more.
Over the course of my life, there were a few things I had learned to assume.
If I was trying to look sexy, something would inevitably be stuck in my teeth.
Berry was not my friend.
And if given the opportunity, my mom would embarrass me.
Do you think this push-up bra is doing its job? Yes, but just give it the day off.
What is the single most important thing we've learned from french women? Don't let your mom near your face? Always put up your best feature.
And since you refuse to show off your belly.
We'll have to go with your lips.
- Rub it together.
- Nice lips.
One thing I didn't have to assume anymore, my status with Matty.
We were clearly together.
And he was not a vegetarian.
Stop it.
You think he's gonna ask you to formal? Jeez Louise.
This is a barbecue.
Who put out the formal napkins? So good.
So, what color of dress are you wearing at the dance? - Peach.
- Black.
- Peach.
- Son, I know you're a good kid.
Even though Jenna's still my little girl, I want her to have fun.
Thankfully, my dad always had my back.
I'm not pushing anything, but if you guys decide to take things to the next level, make sure you wrap up the sausage.
Assumption was the mother of all screw-ups.
Suicide Club presents: 1x11 - Fateful - What's up with the lip statement? I'm just trying something new.
I was no longer that girl.
I was Matty's girl.
And as such, I had to look the part.
It's totally bumass.
We're just not used to being able to see your lips from across the quad.
Greena.
I want to go to formal with you.
My parents suck.
When I tried to tell them that formals were American tradition, "We are Chinese!" "Chinese people love to party!" They didn't become a billion-strong by hanging out in the library.
A week go, I'd have been uber clummed to go with Ricky Schwartz.
But know I'm like la de freakin' da.
I'm so over that jackrad.
Can't believe I'm the only one going.
Matty asked you? - When? Where? - We want the full play by play.
It wasn't an official invite, but he asked for the color of the dress I was wearing.
So it's basically the same thing.
It wasn't.
But in the 168 hours since I became Matty's girl I had grown used to his known non-sense style.
Someone's getting an invite! That's for you, T.
What do you say, gorgeous? I got nothing else to do.
Even though I was going at Matty, I had to admit, I'd have been down with a cheestastic invite.
Will you go to formal with me, Erin? That's lame.
You realize that'll probably go bad by lunch, right? I'm willing to risk it.
I forgot to ask you something.
Are you a limo girl? So it wasn't the big ask.
But I was definitely a limo girl.
- I'm cool with whatever.
- So it's cool if we just take my truck? That slut pole.
There's Marcus, g-bye! As your friend, it's my job to tell you your plan is retarded.
You always say that about my plans but this one is genie in a bottle.
If Jake sees me with Marcus, he'll get so jealous and will ask me to formal.
And then, fingers crossed, punch Marcus in the face.
I've always wanted two guys to fight over me.
LE! Melanie will not go to formal with you.
Wake up and smell the body spray! Clark is gay! You're welcome! Yeah, the test was brutal I'll see you.
Put your fingers through my hair and tell me that I'm pretty.
You're pretty.
I got something for you.
It's the new single from Watson 66.
Let's Dance? Please tell me it's not another bad cover of Bowie.
Keep reading.
I already have a date.
Okay He's a lucky guy.
I gotta go.
Screw formal.
What? I got the heisman from Jenna.
I thought she was into me.
Do you know who she's going with? No.
Sorry, man.
- Did you ask anyone yet? - Not exactly.
Pull it off.
Let's get drunk.
Blow it off.
Let's get drunk.
All right, dude, fine.
Leave me all alone on a Saturday night wallowing in a pool of my own bloodin' vomit.
That's real cool.
Now, I do believe you're happy.
You look happy.
Unless you're high.
Have you been rocking the gange, J.
? No, it's just that for once my life is pretty good and And you wanted to thank me.
And I have a boyfriend.
We're soul sisters.
I have a boyfriend too.
Who is he? No one you know.
He doesn't work at the school here or anything.
That would be grounds for dismissal.
No, he's a Farmer.
He's a farmer.
Farmer Bob McDonald.
Okay.
I was just asking.
Look at how much progress we've made in just a few short months.
See, here is when you got this nasty letter.
This is when you wore the cameltoe pants.
Those were really dark ages.
Isn't it funny how it almost seems that your incident was an accident? It was an accident.
Exactly.
Anywho, now that you're in your renaissance, I thought you could choose your own happy sticker.
I can see you're busy, Val.
I won't come back later.
- No.
You, stay.
- Her? - Me? - You.
I'll go.
So glad you have a boyfriend, J.
! Way to be normal.
You have two minutes.
I've received several complaints about you today.
Now, I know this is falling on deaf ears but you can't ruin formal for your fellow students.
More importantly, you cannot out people.
Please.
When Clarke Stevenson busted out that pink feathered backpack, he outed himself.
Melanie should be thanking me.
Of all people, you should understand how painful it is to be someone's beard.
It is.
Think of you had someone like me helping you.
You might have been spared all that heartache and humiliation.
Well, hello, Mr Mischra.
You are correct.
I am in session.
Stop! No, you stop.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Well.
I'm hanging up now.
Official school business.
Miss Marks, while you were on the phone, I've had time to reflect on the error of my ways.
I don't know where I'd be without your guidance.
Thank you.
Can you believe how awesometown Ricky's ask was? He put so much thought into it.
Sorry.
Am I bragging too much, considering Matty didn't go all out? Brag away.
All I care about is that Matty and I are going together.
The rest of that stuff is just fluff.
Congrats, princess Jenna.
I heard you're on the ballot for winter formal.
This is a major major.
- Where are you going? - To tell Ming! I was just nominated for sophomore winter formal princess.
Listen.
I'm gonna need to go get a really great dress.
You think we can do that after school? Taking that as a yes.
That's a yes.
I am getting a head start and surprising her with options.
I'm so sorry Lapita, you're gonna do all the cleaning today.
I always do all the cleaning.
It was the first time I didn't mind people staring because it was for the right reasons.
- They admired me.
- I see they printed up new ballots.
Apparently, there was some last minute changes.
Let me guess.
You're voting for yourself.
At least, you'll get one vote.
As you are now, you could disappear and no one would notice.
So not true.
I couldn't disappear.
How did somebody get my letter? I had assumed my rep as a suicide case was all but dead.
Your instincts suck.
Second guess them.
Number 4: When you're pretty you're happy and clearly you're not happy.
Nobody likes the pitiful.
Stop being such a drag.
But my stigma was alive.
And kicking me in the ass.
Make out with me.
No way.
Dude! You're okay? You're sure you want to be seen with the biggest looser in school? The person who wrote the letter is a looser, not you.
I thought I already have been through the worst day of my life, it turns out it was just a warm up.
Think you're having a bad day.
I put myself out there, asked a girl to formal she said no, Forget about her, cause she is a bitch.
A raging bitch.
The guy she is going with has man boobs.
Who are you going with? It was weird.
Matty still hadn't told Jake about us.
I'm not even sure I want to go anymore.
But then who's gonna wear the crown when you win sophomore princess? - Like that's gonna happen.
- I voted for you.
I mean, I wouldn't have but I did it before you turned me down.
- What are you gonna do for about the letter? - Nothing.
The damage has already been done.
Listen, I've been thinking, what if we blow off the dances and do something else instead? Dances are pretty lame, right? Is that okay? - Sure.
- Great, meet you at my truck after school.
How could I be Matty's girl when I was still his secret? Because I was that girl, who never stood a chance of going to the formal.
Just look at the label.
Someone was spreading the rumor at lunch, but I didn't believe it.
- Until now.
- You were the back up invite? No, I wasn't just the back up, I was sloppy fourth.
- I'm sorry, T.
- Are you still gonna go? Over his dead body.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm not going either.
- Why not? - Have you seen the ballots? I'm so sorry, I was so caught up in this Ricky's scandal I forgot to vote for you.
Holy shit! What kind of monster would do something so Resident Evil? I'm talking to my friends.
I know you did this, and your ass is grass.
What's the matter? Did you drink some bad soy milk this morning? Stealing someone's personal file is not only morally corrupt, it's punishable by expulsion.
And I don't give a hot damn if your dad built the planetarium.
- This time, there will be consequences.
- You're not going to expel me, are you? Maybe.
Maybe not.
But as far as winter formal's concerned, you won't be going.
But I already have Grab that file and follow me back to my office.
Good.
Just wanted to be sure you were following me.
Welcome to Karmageddon, bitch.
Ricky Schwart's sighting.
- What are you going to do? - Tell him to go fuck himself.
I will never be anyone's number 4.
I deserve better.
I would rather stay home Saturday night, giving my cat a manicure, than go to the dance with that idiot.
Tamara did deserve better, and she wasn't the only one.
It's all over.
I told him to take care.
There is no recovery from that.
I got to walk it off.
- I don't need a ride.
- Is your mom picking you up? I would just rather walk home than go with you.
- Why? - Because.
I really want to go to the damn formal.
And I want a limo, and I want you to dress up in a gorilla suit.
Or surprise me with balloons, or jump out of a coffin, I don't know.
Maybe not the coffin, but I want the big ask.
I don't care if you think it's lame.
It is lame.
I want to take you.
Your invite is here.
Look! I was going to ask you at lunch, but then, Jake - Why haven't you told him? - I tried to, but he But what? Nothing.
Not possible.
Take care.
Don't think, just go with your first instinct! Which dress jumps out at you the most? None.
But you have no idea how great they look on.
On who? Me.
But I was the only one available to try them on.
Of course.
'Cause you couldn't wait to see what I wanted.
There's only one person in this room who looks good in peach, and who might that be? But this dress, it will look really pretty on you.
We just have to stuff the bust a little.
I'm not going to formal, I don't have a date, and my nomination was a joke.
Prep your fire zone, you have blopped guys sixteen times.
'Cause I got the crappy controller.
Dude, can you at least try not to suck so much? Yeah, I do suck.
That's probably why Jenna rejected me.
You're still talking about it You've been bitching about it all day.
Jenna doesn't like you, okay? - Get over her already.
- What the hell is your problem? - I can't play, fuck you.
- Then why am I even here? To be a pain in my ass? When you'll stop PMSing, don't bother calling me.
Yeah, I won't.
I had taken great care to be the daughter my mom always wanted, and the girl Matty wanted to be with, but along the way, I lost sight of myself.
It was time to take care of me.
And I wasn't going to sit around and cry about it.
Okay, maybe a little.
Do you have any TP? Use these.
Ever been so into a guy you thought was into you, only to find out he's into someone else? Actually, three someone elses! Wait, are you that girl with red frizzy hair, who always wears overalls? That's Leslie Gainer! Good, 'cause she is seriously nuts, jeez! I know! She smells like A litter box! Can I give you a hug? I'm not really a hugger.
It's okay, - I'll do all the work.
- All right.
Bitch! This is Marcus, we're going to formal together.
- Hello, Marcus.
What's up, man? - Hey, what's up? - Why are you hugging? - 'Cause we're bros.
No hugging! What's wrong with hugs? Are you okay, T? - Were you crying? - No.
I was ugly crying, but I got it out of my system.
Be right back.
I've been looking for you.
We should go to the dance together.
- If you still wanna go.
- What happened to your date? Didn't work out.
It just happens you have a little competition.
- Really? - Yeah.
With my mum.
We're gonna catch a movie, a little mother-son action, but I think I could blow her off.
I've been seeing a lot of her lately, and I think it's time for us to take a break.
Okay, gross.
I'm in.
I just need to know one thing.
How's your dress? Not peach.
I was leaving my Renaissance and heading into my Golden Age.
'Cause I wasn't that girl anymore, and I wasn't Matty's girl neither.
I was Jenna Hamilton.
Someone once said that it's choice not chance, that determines our destiny.
My head made the choice to end things with Matty but my heart, my heart was still waiting for the chance that my head might reconsider.
- What are you doing here? - I need you to know something.
Okay, I'm listening.
I love you.
I really love you.
What? It's okay.
We can share.
- You don't have to choose.
- Because we can all share.
This isn't real.
This isn't real.
This isn't real.
The ad does seem fake, and creepy.
"We can all share.
" Who wants that? - What are you reading? - The missed connections in our area.
I'm seeing if anyone was too shy to ask me to the formal.
But this site is clearly only for pervs.
God, can you imagine, bumping uglies while others people watch? I can.
And it's disturbing.
Are you excited for tonight? I can't believe you're going to your first formal without me.
I know.
It's not going to be the same.
Wait, listen to this.
"I've blown it over and over again.
But if you give me one last chance, I'll sweep you off your feet on the dancefloor "And finally be your guy".
- Doesn't that sound like Ricky? - Or Matty.
Don't do this to yourself.
If Matty had any gonads, he'd fight for you.
But he doesn't and he didn't.
Do you think destiny is determined by chance or choice? Chance, 100%.
If destiny was by choice, I'd have developed an ass, instead of a mustache.
But I'm the one who ended things with Matty.
Maybe I misdirected faith and missed my connection to be with him.
Okay, you're getting really deep, and it's far too early for me to process anything more than your morning breath, which by the way is rank.
Did I screw up my destiny, or was my fate supposed to stink? Suicide Club presents: 1x12 - I Am Jenna Hamilton - I'm thinking I want to wear my hair - Up.
- Down.
Honey, your hair is the best weapon in the fight against your heritage.
Princesses don't have big ears.
Jenna's been nominated for sophmore winter princess.
I'd like it up.
With all that hair on top you're just gonna look like a bobblehead.
Good.
Bad news.
I just got off the phone with Ming.
- She's going tonight.
- With who she's with? She said it's a surprise.
This sucks.
Now I'm gonna be alone losering.
Why don't you come with me and Jake? - I'm not a date crasher.
- We're going as friends.
I definitely add some sauce to the mix.
I already know.
We can't wear the same color dress.
Good call.
Can Tamara come with us? She doesn't have a date and Sure.
I'll see you at 6.
Anyone here who can do something in the vein of Grecian goddess meets Gaga? Let me drop for you.
With T.
by my side, a good time at the dance was all but in the cards.
Poker is not my game.
Poke-her? But I don't even know her.
You guys are like Brainchilds.
Dude, call her already.
Does Mclight have a girlfriend? He did.
You get your ass handed to you or what? - It wasn't really my fault.
- It's never our fault.
But you still got to own up to whatever you think that she thinks that you did.
I think she wants me to leave her alone.
Dude are you a wuss? I seriously want to punch you right now.
She told me to take care.
When she said it, was she looking directly at you or was she like looking at the ground, twirling her hair? The hair twirl? Signature tell.
It was pretty direct.
Give her something she wants.
She wants to go to the formal.
- Take her.
- I can't, the formal istonight.
So make it happen.
You're a McKibben, McKibbens are winners.
You're right, we are winners.
Flush beats your straight.
- What happened? - Me! I can't go anywhere like this.
Don't panic! We can fix your head.
Yeah, but you can't fix my dress.
You were right, it's awful.
Happy? A little, but don't fret.
Come on.
There's nothing in your closet I'm gonna wanna wear.
- What about this? - You'd let me wearing this dress? Special times call for special circumstances.
Try it on.
You know, that dress was specially made for Nana when she was a model.
I used to think if I could look as good as her in it, that she would love me as much she loved that dress.
- Isn't that silly? - Yes.
The only time she ever let me wear it was to my prom.
You should have seen me trying to fit my big ass pregnant belly into that tiny Do I look stupid? You look perfect.
I want you to know that I would never love a dress more than you.
Unless it's vintage Chanel.
Understandable.
You are the best part of me.
Because you're not me.
You are better.
I'm so sorry.
Mom I can't breathe.
Gotta let go.
I'm sorry, I was just having a moment.
I am entitled one on occasion considering you've ruined my figure.
Do you think you were meant to be with dad? I mean if I wasn't here, would you have chosen him? There was never choice.
The girls are here.
If I wasn't going to let fate influence my decisions, I wouldn't let some vile letter do it either.
It was time to put my past where it belonged.
In the past.
Ming's going with Vera.
- Surprise! - Hi.
Give me a sidebar.
Is there something you wanna tell me? 'Cause I'm pretty sure Vera is of the Ellen variety.
Going with a girl friend was the only way my parents would let me go.
So, if I have to let her fill me up at the end of the night, I'm done for the cause.
Girls, get together.
Chins out and down.
Dad, I think your allergies are acting up again.
No, I'm crying.
Damn you, 'cause now I'm crying.
Can you believe we did this? We raised a beautiful girl.
You're embarrassing Jenna.
You're both embarrassing Jenna.
It's your date! Thanks.
Can I please speak to Jenna? You just missed her.
She's on her way to the formal with her friends.
Thank you.
You're good.
You might wanna rethink the lambskin rubber in your bag.
They don't really work.
I knew it, that little You are "verboten" from this dance, "verboten" for looking so fabulous.
Kitten, you need to relax.
I know, it's just Sadie always undercuts my authority, and I just know she's gonna crash.
- Kitten? - Too soon? Not at all, my velvet vindaloo.
Go, go in.
J, my girl, look at you! I didn't know Rosati was the guy you've been telling me about.
Jake's my date.
Alright, you two lovebirds have a good time.
But watch the bump and grind.
We're trying to keep this shindig PG.
Good.
Principal Cox wants to discuss the dress code.
I know, some of these kids are really pushing the boundaries.
He was talking about you.
- I wore this to my grandma's funeral.
- I know.
Dork alert.
We're here way too early.
Ms Hamilton, allow me to educate you.
It's all about arriving early.
That way we get our pictures taken before we ruin our hair out on the dancefloor.
- You're gonna dance.
- Ladies, prepare yourselves, I like to rip it up and it ain't pretty.
Unlike Matty, Jake wasn't afraid to be a dork.
And I was ready to dork out with him.
Do you think I can get one just the two of us? I'll be right back.
Don't yank me.
My dress is couture.
I'm doing the best I can, it's just You're so So what? Wiggly.
Duck! It's been fun.
Lip gloss? I noticed you're with Jake.
We're just friends.
I don't care.
We're not together anymore.
You look really pretty.
Thanks.
So do you.
What was that? You look really pretty.
Help me in, so I can slap you.
You're a bitch, and it's your fault Jake dumped me.
Break in yourself.
I was living in the moment and I didn't know if it was by chance or by choice, but I didn't care.
It was time for me to bust a move.
- I'm busy.
- Listen to me please.
If you give me one more chance I'll sweep you off your feet.
On the dancefloor, and finally be your guy.
It's you.
It's you.
It's always been you.
I was just too blind to see it.
Where did Tamara go? Ricky is the missed connection.
- He's a what? - It's a long story.
Look, I only have 60 bucks.
But I can promise you that helping me get in is like the gift that'll we'll keep on giving.
Like your acne.
Lighten up, it was a joke.
I can double your money on monday.
You're having a good time? - You? - I always have a good time with you.
It was exactly what I was thinking.
Everything with Jake was easy.
Everything with you is easy.
Do you think things happen to us by chance or by choice? - In what way? - Fate.
Do you believe in fate? I don't know.
But considering you're here with me right now means the universe is working in my favour.
Maybe the universe was working in my favour, too.
Everything was as it was meant to be.
Because finally the other guy I had been pining over was all but a distant 40 feet away.
I'm really stoked you made it.
- Who did you come with? - Nobody.
There was a girl but I messed it up.
- What happened? - You don't wanna know.
I do.
I was going to take this girl, this great girl and things got complicated, and I was trying not to hurt someone else but I ended up hurting her.
I didn't think she was gonna come so I went to her house.
- You went to her house? - Her dad said she was here.
Well, where is she? - She's with another guy.
- Dude.
That sucks.
You should steal her away.
I think it's too late.
What do you think, is it too late? I was confused.
I didn't know if I should listen to my head or my heart.
So I went with my hand.
I'm so sorry.
I think you're right.
It's too late.
Okay.
Check one, two.
Time to announce this year's winter formal court.
Let's get down to some business on some Dick.
Dick Walters, take over.
Put the cookie down, Ms Saxton.
You are to leave immediately.
Or what? Or I'll have you expelled.
Really? For what? You know what.
Stealing Jenna's file.
The file isn't missing anymore, is it? And I bet my Mercedes that you've never reported it stolen.
- I did not.
- Well then.
I guess it's just your word against mine.
Val, what are you doing? Mr Mischra, she just accosted me, and you witnessed it.
I didn't witness anything.
I will have you both fired.
Go for it.
I bet my Camry that your word against ours won't get you very far.
You've just been sucker-punched.
This is actually mine.
Now, for Sophomore Winter Court, envelopes, please.
Got them, right here.
Knew that.
Sophomore Princess is Clark Stevenson.
You're welcome, go girl.
And Sophomore Prince is Matty McKibben.
One door to my heart had closed.
Which meant a new one could open.
I just wanna say, I share this with you Jenna Hamilton! Oh, come on, one more! - What? - You really like to dance.
We're gonna head up Josh's after party.
Guys wanna come? - Harrisson's parents have a waterbed.
- Ricky! It's up to you.
I think we're gonna pass.
Let's get our stuff.
There's something stuck to your back.
- Like dirty code? - Like what? - Like - Like there's a note stuck to your back.
My parents are over at my neighbor's, which means they're getting hammered and they're not coming home anytime soon.
- Do you want to come in? - Yes.
- Actually, is it OK if you don't come in? - Sure.
It's not that I don't want you to, I do.
- But I want to take things slowly.
- There's no rush.
I'm not going anywhere.
What is it? Tonight's the first night anyone's ever held my hand in public.
Besides my parents.
- Does that freak you out? - No.
It just makes me realize what I've been missing.
Look what you've done.
I've completely blanked on the alarm code.
- Now I have to call my parents.
- Do you want me to stay? Don't be freaked out if I call you when I get home.
I won't.
I'll only be freaked out if you don't.
Hey it's me, I'm home.
I can't remember the alarm code.
Wait, the code's in the junk-drawer.
Never mind.
Someone once said that it is choice, not chance, that determines our destiny.
But it was hard for me to process who would ever choose to find what I found.
It was chance.
Mum?