Batman s01e11 Episode Script
Be a Clown
Since my election, I've promised the people l'd build them a safe, affordable place to live.
Gotham Towers is that place.
Your safety has always been my prime concern.
And under my leadership, no city will be safer or more free of crime than Gotham City.
Batman! Garbage collection is Monday but in your case, I'm making an exception.
- Batman! Wait.
- Hold on! Batman, wait! Regarding safety in the city, sir, you were saying? Well, I What just happened was an isolated incident.
There are just a few rotten apples giving an otherwise peaceful community a bad name.
Do you include Batman in those rotten apples, mayor? Absolutely.
He and criminals like the Joker are cut from the same cloth.
What? Compare me to Batman? I got more style, more brains.
I'm certainly a better dresser.
Furthermore, I intend to run all of these costume freaks out of town and make all of Gotham City as safe as my own mansion.
Oh, really? Well, we'll just see how safe your mansion is, you babbling bonehead.
Get a move on, Franklin.
It's almost time for the party.
Yes, sir.
Some important people will be here and I don't want anything to go wrong.
By the way, have you seen my son? Ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform my famous disappearing-wand trick.
Abracadabra! Jordan, stop fooling with those stupid magic tricks.
Your party is starting.
- They're not stupid, and it's your party.
- Nonsense.
I've invited some children.
Yeah, your friends' kids.
I don't know them.
I'm not going to argue with you.
I'll expect you downstairs in five minutes.
Hello! Glad you could come.
Senator Finch! What a pleasant surprise.
Did you get a good shot of us? - Yes, sir.
- Excellent.
Smile, Jordan.
You'd think you're having a bad time.
- No kidding.
- Well, cheer up.
I've got a surprise which should be here by now.
Councilman Frye.
- And this must be Timmy.
- Happy birthday.
Where's the food? Did someone say food? I'm the guy with the goodies.
Mayor Hill, I presume.
Jekko.
Jekko the Magnificent.
Pleased to Always gives the party a charge.
It's showtime! All right! Thank you! Thank you! - Where did you learn that, Jekko? - From the great Prosciutto.
Now there was a ham.
- How can I be a great magician like you? - Well, there are three steps.
Step one: Run away.
Step two: Find a magician with a great act.
And step three: Steal it.
That's okay.
I think I got it.
Bruce.
Bruce Wayne.
How good of you to come.
Jordan will be so happy to see you.
The sooner I give him this, the happier I'll be.
- Could you show us more? Please, Jekko? - Sure, birthday boy.
I'm saving the best for last.
- Jordan, I've got guests for you to meet.
- But Jekko's going to show us a trick.
- Sorry, Mr.
Wayne is waiting - I don't care about Mr.
Wayne! Hush! You'll do what I say.
Now, come on.
It's always what you want.
You! You! You! Kids! Turn that off! Too bad for birthday boy.
This last trick is pure dynamite.
What is it? It's a birthday candle, Einstein.
Except this one blows you out.
Now, scoot, you kids.
Show's over.
Go find some goodies.
This trick's for the grownups.
It's time for Jordo to make his wish.
And mine too.
Oh, my.
A sparkler candle.
Keep watching, and I'll get the birthday brat.
I don't know where Jordan could have gone.
He was dying to see you.
- You know kids.
- Not really.
So long, mayor.
Got to go.
But I left them with a bang.
That laugh Good riddance, jerko.
As I was saying Hey! - Hey! - Watch it! Hey, pal! Excuse me.
Excuse me! I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
Coming through.
Out of my way, please.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
I want answers! Nobody makes a fool of me.
Especially in my own home.
At least no one was hurt.
Mr.
Mayor, this is the real Jekko the Clown.
We found him tied up down the road.
Some maniac jumped me.
Stole my wagon and my costume.
Mayor, where's Jordan? TNT with your cake, sir? I crack myself up! Wow! Denying reports of a bomb blast at his son's party, Mayor Hill insists the explosion was caused by faulty electrical wiring.
Yeah, right! The mayor declined, however, to confirm that his son Jordan is missing.
Missing? It's me, Jekko.
I ran away.
You did what?! I want to be a magician, like you.
Why, you Well, kid, you got step one right.
Come on in.
I've been thinking about a protégé.
It could be the Joker.
If only I'd been paying more attention, he wouldn't have run away.
Take it easy, mayor.
I'm sure the police will find Jordan.
I tell you, Wayne.
Things are going to be different if only he'd come back.
- Where did you learn that, Jekko? - From the great Prosciutto.
Now there was a ham.
But isn't swallowing a sword dangerous? Watch.
Hey, how did you do it? Easy, kid.
It's a trick sword.
Now you try it.
You could get cut.
Hey, if it wasn't risky, I wouldn't enjoy it.
- What's that? - Security, my boy.
You can't be too careful in this part of town.
Well, if it ain't the caped coconut.
My dad says Batman's no good.
Well, I guess your dad's not a total idiot.
What do you say we play a little joke on Batman.
You can be my assistant.
Come on.
This'll be a killer! Come one, come all.
It's Jekko the Jokester.
Jekko the Jokester.
Jordan! This isn't a game, Jordan.
Where's Jekko? Take a card, batso.
Take all the cards! Now it's my deal! Not so fast! A good magician keeps an ace up his sleeve.
This one always floors them! Oh, my gosh! We've bagged a big one this time! - He isn't hurt, is he? - Hurt? Heavens! You wound me to the quick.
The enemy merely slumbers.
No doubt dreaming of more foul deeds to render upon the citizens of Gotham.
But his fate is not for us to decide.
You're gonna love this.
Wake up, Batman.
You're on.
For your viewing pleasure, we present the infamous water-tank trap.
The great Houdini survived such a test.
Dare we demand less of the Batman? - I don't like this, Jekko.
- Quiet, kid.
It's a free ticket.
He did it! He got free.
They don't make straitjackets like they used to.
I should know.
- He can't get out.
What's the trick? - That's just it.
There is no trick! No! He'll drown! That's why they call it the finale! Now, sit down and enjoy the show.
Hey, come back! Naughty, naughty.
You're making me miss the show.
All right, Joker.
Get ready for a little bat magic.
Oh, Jordo! Come out, come out, wherever you are! What? Gotcha! No! Come here, you little on second thought I love a roller coaster.
Too bad you missed the train.
Fasten your seat belt.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
You win the prize, Batman.
Catch the kewpie.
Butterfingers.
Kewpie-dupie number two-ie! You just don't like to play with dolls, do you? That must have been his stop.
On the contrary, Joker.
This is where you get off.
Smell the roses, Batman.
He always knew how to make an exit.
- Oh, my gosh! - Jordan! Reach for me.
You have to trust me.
Now! Can we go home now? Dad! Daddy! Jor? Jordan.
You're back! My boy is back.
- I'm so sorry for running away.
- Please forgive me for the party.
We can talk later.
Right now I want to give you the biggest birthday hug you ever got.
Gotham Towers is that place.
Your safety has always been my prime concern.
And under my leadership, no city will be safer or more free of crime than Gotham City.
Batman! Garbage collection is Monday but in your case, I'm making an exception.
- Batman! Wait.
- Hold on! Batman, wait! Regarding safety in the city, sir, you were saying? Well, I What just happened was an isolated incident.
There are just a few rotten apples giving an otherwise peaceful community a bad name.
Do you include Batman in those rotten apples, mayor? Absolutely.
He and criminals like the Joker are cut from the same cloth.
What? Compare me to Batman? I got more style, more brains.
I'm certainly a better dresser.
Furthermore, I intend to run all of these costume freaks out of town and make all of Gotham City as safe as my own mansion.
Oh, really? Well, we'll just see how safe your mansion is, you babbling bonehead.
Get a move on, Franklin.
It's almost time for the party.
Yes, sir.
Some important people will be here and I don't want anything to go wrong.
By the way, have you seen my son? Ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform my famous disappearing-wand trick.
Abracadabra! Jordan, stop fooling with those stupid magic tricks.
Your party is starting.
- They're not stupid, and it's your party.
- Nonsense.
I've invited some children.
Yeah, your friends' kids.
I don't know them.
I'm not going to argue with you.
I'll expect you downstairs in five minutes.
Hello! Glad you could come.
Senator Finch! What a pleasant surprise.
Did you get a good shot of us? - Yes, sir.
- Excellent.
Smile, Jordan.
You'd think you're having a bad time.
- No kidding.
- Well, cheer up.
I've got a surprise which should be here by now.
Councilman Frye.
- And this must be Timmy.
- Happy birthday.
Where's the food? Did someone say food? I'm the guy with the goodies.
Mayor Hill, I presume.
Jekko.
Jekko the Magnificent.
Pleased to Always gives the party a charge.
It's showtime! All right! Thank you! Thank you! - Where did you learn that, Jekko? - From the great Prosciutto.
Now there was a ham.
- How can I be a great magician like you? - Well, there are three steps.
Step one: Run away.
Step two: Find a magician with a great act.
And step three: Steal it.
That's okay.
I think I got it.
Bruce.
Bruce Wayne.
How good of you to come.
Jordan will be so happy to see you.
The sooner I give him this, the happier I'll be.
- Could you show us more? Please, Jekko? - Sure, birthday boy.
I'm saving the best for last.
- Jordan, I've got guests for you to meet.
- But Jekko's going to show us a trick.
- Sorry, Mr.
Wayne is waiting - I don't care about Mr.
Wayne! Hush! You'll do what I say.
Now, come on.
It's always what you want.
You! You! You! Kids! Turn that off! Too bad for birthday boy.
This last trick is pure dynamite.
What is it? It's a birthday candle, Einstein.
Except this one blows you out.
Now, scoot, you kids.
Show's over.
Go find some goodies.
This trick's for the grownups.
It's time for Jordo to make his wish.
And mine too.
Oh, my.
A sparkler candle.
Keep watching, and I'll get the birthday brat.
I don't know where Jordan could have gone.
He was dying to see you.
- You know kids.
- Not really.
So long, mayor.
Got to go.
But I left them with a bang.
That laugh Good riddance, jerko.
As I was saying Hey! - Hey! - Watch it! Hey, pal! Excuse me.
Excuse me! I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
Coming through.
Out of my way, please.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
I want answers! Nobody makes a fool of me.
Especially in my own home.
At least no one was hurt.
Mr.
Mayor, this is the real Jekko the Clown.
We found him tied up down the road.
Some maniac jumped me.
Stole my wagon and my costume.
Mayor, where's Jordan? TNT with your cake, sir? I crack myself up! Wow! Denying reports of a bomb blast at his son's party, Mayor Hill insists the explosion was caused by faulty electrical wiring.
Yeah, right! The mayor declined, however, to confirm that his son Jordan is missing.
Missing? It's me, Jekko.
I ran away.
You did what?! I want to be a magician, like you.
Why, you Well, kid, you got step one right.
Come on in.
I've been thinking about a protégé.
It could be the Joker.
If only I'd been paying more attention, he wouldn't have run away.
Take it easy, mayor.
I'm sure the police will find Jordan.
I tell you, Wayne.
Things are going to be different if only he'd come back.
- Where did you learn that, Jekko? - From the great Prosciutto.
Now there was a ham.
But isn't swallowing a sword dangerous? Watch.
Hey, how did you do it? Easy, kid.
It's a trick sword.
Now you try it.
You could get cut.
Hey, if it wasn't risky, I wouldn't enjoy it.
- What's that? - Security, my boy.
You can't be too careful in this part of town.
Well, if it ain't the caped coconut.
My dad says Batman's no good.
Well, I guess your dad's not a total idiot.
What do you say we play a little joke on Batman.
You can be my assistant.
Come on.
This'll be a killer! Come one, come all.
It's Jekko the Jokester.
Jekko the Jokester.
Jordan! This isn't a game, Jordan.
Where's Jekko? Take a card, batso.
Take all the cards! Now it's my deal! Not so fast! A good magician keeps an ace up his sleeve.
This one always floors them! Oh, my gosh! We've bagged a big one this time! - He isn't hurt, is he? - Hurt? Heavens! You wound me to the quick.
The enemy merely slumbers.
No doubt dreaming of more foul deeds to render upon the citizens of Gotham.
But his fate is not for us to decide.
You're gonna love this.
Wake up, Batman.
You're on.
For your viewing pleasure, we present the infamous water-tank trap.
The great Houdini survived such a test.
Dare we demand less of the Batman? - I don't like this, Jekko.
- Quiet, kid.
It's a free ticket.
He did it! He got free.
They don't make straitjackets like they used to.
I should know.
- He can't get out.
What's the trick? - That's just it.
There is no trick! No! He'll drown! That's why they call it the finale! Now, sit down and enjoy the show.
Hey, come back! Naughty, naughty.
You're making me miss the show.
All right, Joker.
Get ready for a little bat magic.
Oh, Jordo! Come out, come out, wherever you are! What? Gotcha! No! Come here, you little on second thought I love a roller coaster.
Too bad you missed the train.
Fasten your seat belt.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
You win the prize, Batman.
Catch the kewpie.
Butterfingers.
Kewpie-dupie number two-ie! You just don't like to play with dolls, do you? That must have been his stop.
On the contrary, Joker.
This is where you get off.
Smell the roses, Batman.
He always knew how to make an exit.
- Oh, my gosh! - Jordan! Reach for me.
You have to trust me.
Now! Can we go home now? Dad! Daddy! Jor? Jordan.
You're back! My boy is back.
- I'm so sorry for running away.
- Please forgive me for the party.
We can talk later.
Right now I want to give you the biggest birthday hug you ever got.