Boyster (2014) s01e11 Episode Script

This is the story of an extraordinary oyster.
Born from a toxic spill, he was adopted by humans with his shell brother.
And now, he must hide his secret oyster powers.
Boyster! Good thing Shelby's a sound sleeper! Reckless walking! Plus excessive mirth! - That'll be 18 hours of detention.
- Yes, sir.
Who Who is this person? That's, uh, that's Boyster's aunt.
Mm-hm.
Right.
My aunt.
Aunt Shelley! - Shelley, yes! - I must meet her to tell her you were making sport of her! - Tomorrow, my office! - But, I Or perhaps you'd like to perform in the school ballet this year.
- I kind of like ballet.
- Then you won't mind wearing these.
- End of the day good for you? - Mm-hm.
- What do we do now? - Get Aunt Shelley to come to school.
I'm sure Shelby will love it.
I will not! What on earth were you thinking? Sorry, Shelby, we just thought it would be funny to dress you up and No, I'm talking about the angle you shot me from.
It makes me look like I have a double chin! Now, leave me in peace.
I have a very important TV show to watch.
Consuela.
It's me, your first husband! Gerardo?! But I thought you got sent back to Ancient Rome in that time machine! Egads! That monster Ricardo is deceiving poor Consuela again! Could this day get any worse!? - Well, looks like it's tutu time.
- Not necessarily.
Entrez.
Huh? Aunt Shelley couldn't make it, but my Aunt Rafaella came instead.
We make fun of her sometimes too.
- Hello! - Huh? - But I wanted to see your Aunt Shelley.
- She's in Uganda? This improbable turn of events is unfortunate indeed.
I hope your nephew and his friend aren't allergic to feathers.
- Let's see how these fit.
- Wait! Aunt Shelley will be back tonight! - Hm? - She'll call you! She can call late if she wants.
I'm usually up till nine.
Does it seem like Mr.
Pluss is acting kind of strange? Music, the flowers.
The Teachinator's in love with Aunt Shelley! You know what this means? If he wants to get in with Aunt Shelley, he's gonna have to be nice to her favorite nephew.
Right? Good evening, madam.
Oh, please, call me Shelley! - You wanted to talk about my nephew? - Absolutely.
Perhaps it would be better to meet in, in person.
I'm so worried about my adorable Boyster! School is so stressful for him.
Especially all those math tests.
I quite agree.
There's no reason we need to be stressing out our young people.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
- You know what kind of teacher I really like? One who's not afraid to let his students have a little fun.
Oh! What an original approach to education! Maybe we could talk about it over some chamomile tea? We'll have to see if you're nice to your students first.
Remember, Boyster tells me everything.
Gotta go now.
I've decided to change my methods a bit.
A certain someone will be pleased to hear that.
- Right, Boyster? - Yes.
- Aunt Shelley will definitely be happy! - Mm-mm.
Here.
This is for Aunt Shelley's next call with Mr.
Pluss.
Some things that might make her nephew happy.
Desks replaced with fully reclining lounge chairs, math classroom replaced with a swimming pool, no class longer than ten minutes? Are we going too far? Yeah, you're right.
Let's make it 15 minutes.
Marion? It's me, Shelley.
I can't wait to have that date, but my nephew Boyster is feeling pretty stressed out about school again.
I'm going to put an end to this masquerade here and now! Look, Mr.
Pluss, there's something I need to Shelley, would you accompany me to a lecture by Professor Marie Fury? You have tickets to the Marie Fury talk? Of course I'll come! It's Marie Fury.
She's a legend.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Coming through.
Pardon me.
Marion Shelley! Enchanted to meet you.
You're even lovelier than your photo! Please sit.
The lecture is about to start.
I can't wait to hear her new findings about microgravity and zero-gravity aviation.
What a bore.
- What's that? - Um, Niels Bohr, the Danish physicist, I understand that Dr.
Fury draws upon his work.
You're a remarkable woman.
This evening's talk will consist of 47 chapters, subdivided into 152 sections.
I thought I knew what boredom was, but that was a whole new level.
Oh! Goodbye-bye-bye-bye-bye! Boyster, we're going to need a new dress! Mr.
Pluss and I are going to the calculator museum! Oh, no! Ooh! Mm! Mm.
Boyster! Tell your aunt not to be late for our romantic dinner.
I have a big surprise for her! Ro man tic.
This ends now.
Stop seeing Mr.
Pluss? Why? We share so many interests.
And he's a wonderful friend! That's the thing: Mr.
Pluss sees you as more than a friend.
Huh? Oh! - I love you, Gerardo! - I love you, Consuela! And if you give me your ATM PIN number I will be the happiest man in the world! I can't stand that Ricardo! He's taken advantage of poor Consuela's feelings for too long! I beg your pardon, Boyster.
It's just that that sort of deceit truly offends me.
If I knew someone who did that, I'd really give them a piece of my shell! Oh! Look at the time! - I need to put on my face! - Uh Hm.
On to plan "B", for break-up.
Good evening, Marion.
So fancy.
I was expecting something more scientific.
A special moment calls for a special place.
May I offer you an amuse bouche? Raw garlic with a Japanese seaweed jus.
Complements of the chef.
Oops! Do you really want to give up everything - we've worked so hard for? - Yes! And we need to make sure Mr.
Pluss never wants to see Aunt Shelley again! Huh? My word.
How clumsy of me.
So uninhibited! So spontaneous! I love it! You remind me of Consuela in Prestige and Passion! You watch Prestige and Passion?! Roses! Tulips! Orchids! No! I'm allergic to I myself suffer from many allergies! Just looking at latex makes me swell up like a balloon.
Huh? I need to, uh, powder my nose.
Get up! Not you.
I mean, such a gentleman.
Boyster, what is going on? I'm trying to enjoy a nice, friendly dinner - and you're ruining it! - There's nothing friendly about it! It's a romantic dinner! - What are you talking about? - He's in love with Aunt Shelley! And Rafik and I have been using his feelings for you to get him to do what we want at school! You mean to say you've been toying with his emotions? Unacceptable! You're no better than Ricardo and his shameful mistreatment of Consuela! This must stop immediately! - Marion.
We need to talk.
- Heh-heh.
- Shh.
Me first.
- Hm? The time has finally come! Shelley! What better way to declare my love than a zero-gravity flight? Huh? No! - Mmm! - Ah! Whoa-oh-oh! Shelby! Ah! Gah! Huh? This pasta is cooked perfectly.
Bye.
I'm so happy, Shelley.
We're truly soul mates, just like Consuela and Ricardo.
Ricardo?! That calculating cad who's using Consuela for his own nefarious interests? But of course.
Better than that mealy-mouthed Gerardo.
Ricardo is a man who knows how to get what he wants! Like me! How dare you insult Gerardo.
He may have been sent to Ancient Rome in a time machine, but he went with his honor intact.
That's what a man is.
- Poppycock.
- You may be Ricardo, but I assure you, I will never be your Consuela! Take back your ring.
Ring! Then our romance was not meant to be.
Farewell, Shelley! He seems pretty upset.
I hope he doesn't take it out on us.
I'm sure he wouldn't do that.
Well, well, what have we here? Huh? Huh? Taste room-temperature water! Uh-oh, my eye! Missed me! Whoa.
Looks like somebody's moving into the old Hermelin place.
I hope they have kids.
Let's go see.
You two run along.
I just finished downloading The Slimy Shapeless Creature From the Disgusting Green Lagoon, with commentary from the key grip.
Eh.
Oi! Careful with that clock, you oaf.
It costs more than you're worth.
Hello! You moving in? I live next door.
My name's Boyster.
- This is Rafik.
- S'up.
I'm Frank.
Is the weather always this bad around here? Um, I guess Hey, you want to hang out with us? We're having an epic water fight.
- Why is this thing so slimy? - Sorry.
Take mine.
Ah, this one's broken.
I think something's jamming it.
Huh? Hey! Are you always such a sucker? This is boring.
Let's go get a pizza.
- Your treat.
- You're kidding, right? - Does he have to be here? - Um, listen, Frank, maybe we should hang out another time.
You probably have a lot of stuff to do, unpacking and all that.
You're kicking me out?! No.
I'm just saying This isn't over.
- Fun guy.
- I got this.
Using the old oyster powers.
Now you're thinkin'.
Oyster powers, huh? Ha-ha! Think fast! Oh, this could come in handy.
Oh, I gotta go home.
What's the final score? I win: 300 to 299.
Now it's a tie.
Later.
Hm? Ooh! Huh? Hello, oyster boy.
Frank, I don't know what you think you saw My house.
Now.
Enter.
Shoes off.
I don't appreciate the way you treated me back there.
- That's not the way friends behave.
- I'm sorry, Frank.
I just Ah-bup-bup-bup-bah.
Shush.
I'm still talking.
Now, Boyster, I want us to be friends.
Good friends.
But we're gonna do it my way.
Um, this isn't sounding like a whole lot of fun.
No, maybe not for you, but I'm gonna have a blast.
And if you don't play ball Zip! this is going straight onto the Internet.
The whole world is gonna know what a freak you are! You'll probably spend the rest of your life in a glass jar.
- That's blackmail! - Is it? Hm.
I call it making friends.
Oh, and one other thing, oyster boy.
If you tell anybody why you're hanging out with me I-I get it.
Zip.
Straight onto the Internet.
Good.
Now let's go outside and do some friend stuff.
If you was a real friend, you'd carry me.
- What? - Phone, post to Internet OK.
OK.
I'll carry you! Mother, Father, I'm going out for a while.
I'd like everything unpacked when I return.
OK, darling, whatever you want! Bubbles! Yeah! Wicked! So much fun! Yeah! Oh, you stink, oyster boy.
Go home and shower.
And then come to my place for more friend fun.
Hey what's going on? Why are you hanging out with that Frank creep? He's a great guy.
We're having lots of fun.
Hmm Come on, Boyster.
What's up? - I'm not allowed to say anything! - What if I guess? He didn't say anything about guessing.
- Sweet.
Give me some clues.
- OK.
Ha.
You got poked in the eye with a foot-long hot dog! And it was on Picture Day at school.
Ooh, that is bad.
After you got poked in the eye with the hot dog on Picture Day, - somebody wrote a book about it! - You're not very good at this, are you? Maybe you're not very good at it.
Oh wait, it was an e-book! Frank took pictures of me using my oyster powers and he's gonna tell the whole world my secret unless I keep being his friend! - Huh? - Oh, that was gonna be my next guess! Boyster, this is serious.
We'd better find a way to foil this fiend.
Shelby, how are we supposed to figure this out with all that noise? This "noise" is how we're gonna figure it out.
Television always has the answer.
A-ha! Smart and Smarter, P.
I.
's.
these guys can crack any case.
I can't testify against him! He's blackmailing me! Dealing with blackmailers is a cinch.
All you gotta do is destroy the evidence.
Wow.
I don't know which one of you is smarter! - I am.
- Destroy the evidence! Of course! OK, got it.
Range 34.
3, winds South by Southeast, five knots.
Check.
Here goes.
Yes! Direct hit! We did it! I'm free.
Huh? Oh! Huh? Hello, oyster boy! You really think I'd be dumb enough not to make copies? Oh, and then there's this Looks like I got two best friends now.
Oh, no.
You're not blackmailing me.
No problem.
I'll just go ahead and post this pic on the Internet.
- You might wanna pack a sweater, Boyster.
- Huh? I hear they keep those research labs pretty chilly.
- Aw, fine.
- Heh-heh-heh.
Ow.
I'm sorry I dragged you into this.
Ah, it's not your fault.
That guy is a monster.
- Wait a minute, monster! - Hm? Shelby, you know that movie you were talking about? The Gross Slimy Thing From the Stinky Something-or-what? Boyster, it's The Slimy Shapeless Creature From the Disgusting Green Lagoon.
- Have a little respect.
- How well do you know it? Well, I've memorized the entire script, but I'm not sure I could name all the camera angles.
Good enough.
Hey, Frank, this is a lot of fun, but I bet you'd be even cooler at the beach.
Silence! I'm the one who comes up with the ideas.
- Mm.
- I bet I'd be even cooler at the beach.
You did it again, Frank! Great idea.
Frank, your throne is ready.
Too lumpy.
Do it again.
Oh, no! It's the Slimy Shapeless Creature from the Disgusting Green Lagoon! - Wait, isn't that a movie? - No.
Boyster, how dare you reveal your secret sea power! You have betrayed your brethren! - I'm sorry, your Sliminess! - It's too late for sorry! Your punishment shall be swift and brutal! Ha! You wanna mess with my friend, you gotta go through me first! - Ah! - Rafik! And now you shall join him, vile traitor! Help! Save me! You're next! You know of Boyster's powers and therefore must be destroyed.
Oh, please, your Sliminess! I-I swear I won't say a thing.
- I'll delete all the evidence.
- Not good enough! OK, OK, how about this? I'll move far away and no one will ever hear from me again.
That is acceptable.
But I warn you, if you ever break your word, I shall hunt you down to the farthest corners of the world.
I won't.
I promise.
You wouldn't be willing to carry me home, would you? Uh.
Never mind.
Mother, Father, pack up my throne! We're leaving! Whatever you say, dear! I'm glad that's over.
Now we can do what we want.
- Totally.
So what should we do? - Oh I don't know maybe a little of this! Cease and desist! Prestige and Passion is about to start.
Consuela is going to tell Manuel about her alien baby.
- Huh? - Boring.
Perhaps you forget you're tangling with the Slimy Shapeless Creature From the Disgusting Green Lagoon! Hey! Let us out of here! Hey, let us out of here! No fair!