Cowboy Bebop (1998) s01e11 Episode Script
Toys in the Attic
1 I think it's time to blow this scene Get everybody and the stuff together OK, 3-2-1, let's jam Space travel log 0968.
Empty time.
It sounds good to call bounty hunting freelance work, but all that really means is that we're self-employed.
So when there's no one to hunt, we have nothing.
Nothing to do, nothing to live on.
Well, that's all part of the life we've chosen.
Our destiny, if you like.
But when you're out of money, you start thinking about quick cash.
You're fine with both of these now, right? Even.
You're going with even? No, make it odd! Odd.
You're sure? Yes.
Odd.
Snake eyes.
Even.
Oh no! I can't eat any more I'd actually prefer payment in cash.
I'm not a pawn shop, you know.
Well, Jet? A man keeps his word.
And that's why I told you not to play against her.
Humans were meant to work and sweat to earn a living.
Those that try to get rich quick, or live at the expense of others, all get divine retribution somewhere along the line.
That's the lesson.
Unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we've learned.
And then we have to learn them all over again.
Ah, dammit.
Hm I don't remember that.
A refrigerator way back here? "Survival of the fittest" is the law of nature.
We deceive, or we are deceived.
Thus we flourish or perish.
Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others.
That is the lesson.
How much did you swindle? A word like that could damage my reputation.
He just had a run of bad luck.
He just didn't know about this.
That's part of the skill of the game.
You could at least give him his clothes back.
- I'll rent them to him.
- Greedy, aren't we.
Well, I prefer to think of it as "enterprising.
" Hey, what happened? Something bit me.
What do you mean by "something?" It wasn't a rat, OK? Look at this, there's a weird mark on the back of my neck.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Sheesh Spike, it happened near that old refrigerator.
Refrigerator? Yeah, you got any ideas? Hmm Maybe There was a Nope, can't remember.
You sure this is gonna work? It works on everything but nearsightedness and cavities.
- Then it works on athlete's foot? - Yeah, sure.
Don't you have any real medicine that's just for sores and wounds? That would be this.
- Ew That heals wounds? - Yup.
You squish it up and boil it in three cups of water, and when it turns green and goopy, you drink it.
Spike, isn't there something more, you know, different? Oh, yeah! I got it.
Yeah, gimme that ooh.
I'll take the other thing.
Great I'm feeling a lot sicker than I did before.
Do I look pale or what? You're always pale.
What is that awful smell? - Herbal medicine.
- Herbal medicine? That swill? Smells like day-old roadkill soaked in sour milk and maggot juice.
More like rotten soybeans and turpentine.
Oh, yeah That's enough.
I gotta drink this stuff.
Oh, brother.
Come on, will you quit joking around? It was a rat, right? I mean, this is no big deal - Am I wrong? - I have no clue.
He's got some kind of poison that's not in the database.
I'm checking the file for some similar toxins.
Cryptosporidium No, that's not it.
Cholera Nope, it's not that.
Ebola virus Nope.
Bifidobacterium Not even close.
So what is it? Ein, give it a rest, would you? Well, this is not an ordinary rat.
Ein, keep it quiet! - So what could it be then? - Well, it's, uh-- A mystery space creature! Spooky! The attack of the horrible alien! Well, yeah.
That is possible, I suppose.
Oh, yeah, right.
Then what is it? It's not in the database, right? - Well-- - Look! These pairs are abnormal.
Uh, you think so? Ed has never seen this before.
So what else could it be but a horrible alien, huh? What? Maybe it's Something like a rat went through a mutation, and it evolved and turned into some kind of unusual creature and secreted this new form of mysterious poison.
Oh, that's brilliant! Right up there with Ed's theory that it's a horrible alien! Really pitiful.
Aiya, what are we gonna do, Ein? You believe it's a horrible alien, don't you? Spooky! All right, this locates and monitors heat sources.
We usually use it when we're tracking down bounty heads that have gone into hiding.
- Can you see me? - Whoa, yeah! Oh! Woof woof woof! That's fine I'm gonna test it now.
Don't move till I tell you.
Ein! Where are you going? Hey, wait! Hey! Huh? This is weird.
Did it break? What's wrong? Did you find something? Do you remember that theory you had about a mutant creature, Spike? Uh, yeah? What do you suppose happens if you're bitten by it? I can't really say for sure until I catch one and examine it, but I can guess.
Death No, please why did it have to be this way? I still have a lot to live for I haven't committed any crimes well, at least no really bad ones.
- I'm still young and full of life! - Full of what? Life is so unfair! Poor me! Hey, come on.
What's gotten into you? August 6th.
Sky day.
Today, Ed goes looking for the spooky, mysterious, horrible alien.
Lesson, lesson.
If you see a stranger, follow him.
Where are you? Are you here, Mr.
Spooky Space Creature? Ed! Ein! Hey! This isn't hide-and-seek, dammit! Exploration, experimentation, exploration, exclamation! I will come back alive.
I trust you, Ed.
Ein? Ein? Ein! Are you here? Hello? Answer me! Oh man Ein! Ed, where are you? Ein! Hey, hang in there.
Where's Ed? I can't believe they got you.
Where are your animal instincts? No choice.
Gotta go in.
Currently in cruise mode on Route 66.
Approximate cruise time remaining: 82 hours.
Preparing to enter full autopilot.
After passing the gate, this ship is preprogrammed to land on Mars.
The route cannot be changed once it is confirmed.
Ed, are you in here? Hey! It must have gotten her too.
Don't do that! That's it! Come on! Let's go, slimeball! This thing smells kinda familiar.
I guess I should've eaten that stuff.
Well, I'm sure it's still in the fridge.
That was when I remembered everything.
It was, oh, one year ago.
I had gotten ahold of a real Ganymede rock lobster.
I hid it in the fridge in the stockroom so no one else would eat it.
But I had forgotten about it and left it there for a whole year.
I wonder what it looks like in there now Ah, shit! Ah, that's great! So that's the story.
And what was the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge.
Mmm more pudding No I can't eat any more Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara And so, they all passed away, every one.
It was a short series, but thanks for your support.
That was the last episode.
May they all rest in peace.
Amen.
And for the next series, we bring you "Cowgirl Ed!" Ed is the the main character! - Hey, wait a minute! - What kinda selfish thing is that?! Next episode: "Jupiter Jazz, Part 1.
" There really is a next episode!
Empty time.
It sounds good to call bounty hunting freelance work, but all that really means is that we're self-employed.
So when there's no one to hunt, we have nothing.
Nothing to do, nothing to live on.
Well, that's all part of the life we've chosen.
Our destiny, if you like.
But when you're out of money, you start thinking about quick cash.
You're fine with both of these now, right? Even.
You're going with even? No, make it odd! Odd.
You're sure? Yes.
Odd.
Snake eyes.
Even.
Oh no! I can't eat any more I'd actually prefer payment in cash.
I'm not a pawn shop, you know.
Well, Jet? A man keeps his word.
And that's why I told you not to play against her.
Humans were meant to work and sweat to earn a living.
Those that try to get rich quick, or live at the expense of others, all get divine retribution somewhere along the line.
That's the lesson.
Unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we've learned.
And then we have to learn them all over again.
Ah, dammit.
Hm I don't remember that.
A refrigerator way back here? "Survival of the fittest" is the law of nature.
We deceive, or we are deceived.
Thus we flourish or perish.
Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others.
That is the lesson.
How much did you swindle? A word like that could damage my reputation.
He just had a run of bad luck.
He just didn't know about this.
That's part of the skill of the game.
You could at least give him his clothes back.
- I'll rent them to him.
- Greedy, aren't we.
Well, I prefer to think of it as "enterprising.
" Hey, what happened? Something bit me.
What do you mean by "something?" It wasn't a rat, OK? Look at this, there's a weird mark on the back of my neck.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Sheesh Spike, it happened near that old refrigerator.
Refrigerator? Yeah, you got any ideas? Hmm Maybe There was a Nope, can't remember.
You sure this is gonna work? It works on everything but nearsightedness and cavities.
- Then it works on athlete's foot? - Yeah, sure.
Don't you have any real medicine that's just for sores and wounds? That would be this.
- Ew That heals wounds? - Yup.
You squish it up and boil it in three cups of water, and when it turns green and goopy, you drink it.
Spike, isn't there something more, you know, different? Oh, yeah! I got it.
Yeah, gimme that ooh.
I'll take the other thing.
Great I'm feeling a lot sicker than I did before.
Do I look pale or what? You're always pale.
What is that awful smell? - Herbal medicine.
- Herbal medicine? That swill? Smells like day-old roadkill soaked in sour milk and maggot juice.
More like rotten soybeans and turpentine.
Oh, yeah That's enough.
I gotta drink this stuff.
Oh, brother.
Come on, will you quit joking around? It was a rat, right? I mean, this is no big deal - Am I wrong? - I have no clue.
He's got some kind of poison that's not in the database.
I'm checking the file for some similar toxins.
Cryptosporidium No, that's not it.
Cholera Nope, it's not that.
Ebola virus Nope.
Bifidobacterium Not even close.
So what is it? Ein, give it a rest, would you? Well, this is not an ordinary rat.
Ein, keep it quiet! - So what could it be then? - Well, it's, uh-- A mystery space creature! Spooky! The attack of the horrible alien! Well, yeah.
That is possible, I suppose.
Oh, yeah, right.
Then what is it? It's not in the database, right? - Well-- - Look! These pairs are abnormal.
Uh, you think so? Ed has never seen this before.
So what else could it be but a horrible alien, huh? What? Maybe it's Something like a rat went through a mutation, and it evolved and turned into some kind of unusual creature and secreted this new form of mysterious poison.
Oh, that's brilliant! Right up there with Ed's theory that it's a horrible alien! Really pitiful.
Aiya, what are we gonna do, Ein? You believe it's a horrible alien, don't you? Spooky! All right, this locates and monitors heat sources.
We usually use it when we're tracking down bounty heads that have gone into hiding.
- Can you see me? - Whoa, yeah! Oh! Woof woof woof! That's fine I'm gonna test it now.
Don't move till I tell you.
Ein! Where are you going? Hey, wait! Hey! Huh? This is weird.
Did it break? What's wrong? Did you find something? Do you remember that theory you had about a mutant creature, Spike? Uh, yeah? What do you suppose happens if you're bitten by it? I can't really say for sure until I catch one and examine it, but I can guess.
Death No, please why did it have to be this way? I still have a lot to live for I haven't committed any crimes well, at least no really bad ones.
- I'm still young and full of life! - Full of what? Life is so unfair! Poor me! Hey, come on.
What's gotten into you? August 6th.
Sky day.
Today, Ed goes looking for the spooky, mysterious, horrible alien.
Lesson, lesson.
If you see a stranger, follow him.
Where are you? Are you here, Mr.
Spooky Space Creature? Ed! Ein! Hey! This isn't hide-and-seek, dammit! Exploration, experimentation, exploration, exclamation! I will come back alive.
I trust you, Ed.
Ein? Ein? Ein! Are you here? Hello? Answer me! Oh man Ein! Ed, where are you? Ein! Hey, hang in there.
Where's Ed? I can't believe they got you.
Where are your animal instincts? No choice.
Gotta go in.
Currently in cruise mode on Route 66.
Approximate cruise time remaining: 82 hours.
Preparing to enter full autopilot.
After passing the gate, this ship is preprogrammed to land on Mars.
The route cannot be changed once it is confirmed.
Ed, are you in here? Hey! It must have gotten her too.
Don't do that! That's it! Come on! Let's go, slimeball! This thing smells kinda familiar.
I guess I should've eaten that stuff.
Well, I'm sure it's still in the fridge.
That was when I remembered everything.
It was, oh, one year ago.
I had gotten ahold of a real Ganymede rock lobster.
I hid it in the fridge in the stockroom so no one else would eat it.
But I had forgotten about it and left it there for a whole year.
I wonder what it looks like in there now Ah, shit! Ah, that's great! So that's the story.
And what was the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge.
Mmm more pudding No I can't eat any more Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara And so, they all passed away, every one.
It was a short series, but thanks for your support.
That was the last episode.
May they all rest in peace.
Amen.
And for the next series, we bring you "Cowgirl Ed!" Ed is the the main character! - Hey, wait a minute! - What kinda selfish thing is that?! Next episode: "Jupiter Jazz, Part 1.
" There really is a next episode!