Dinner Time Live with David Chang (2024) s01e11 Episode Script

1
[theme music playing]
Hey, guys. Welcome to Dinner Time Live.
-I'm your host Dave Chang.
-[Ron] That's your name.
We got Chris Ying,
aka voice of the Internet,
and I'm joined with two of the funniest,
best performers I know,
Ron Funches, Maya Rudolph.
We're sort of like costars in Loot.
-We're costars.
-Yeah, you're in the show.
It's the three of us.
It's a buddy cop show
about the three of us.
If you haven't
checked that out before. Uh
In my hand is something
I think is the first sign of spring.
Not for everyone in America,
but primarily on the eastern seaboard,
say, from Georgia
to sort of sometimes Maine.
But this is a leek.
If you're into food, you probably
are tired of hearing about this.
But this is a wild garlic. It's delicious.
[Chris] It's a ramp.
[Dave] What did I say?
You said a leek, but it's a ramp.
Listen, I will leak or ramp
at any point during this show.
I thought it was bok choy this whole time.
Could've said that was a snail,
I would have believed you.
-And we'll eat it.
-[Dave] It's a wild snail.
And I wanted to, you know
Now that it's spring,
I wanted to do something that was
American classics, but it was too heavy.
So this is the first sign of spring.
So you got leeks,
we got morels, we got peas.
Baby lamb is also a sign of spring.
These are all the dishes
I'm gonna make for you today.
-Or ingredients.
-[Maya] Yes!
Yes, David. Do it.
I am so pumped.
I have not been this pumped
in anyone's kitchen
since I was, like, 5.
Like a pancake day.
-I'm stoked right now.
-[Ron] Ooh.
[Dave] Pancake day?
When you're a kid.
"What are we having for breakfast?"
"Pancakes." And you're like, "Pancakes!"
"Can we put chocolate chips in them?"
-Exactly.
-[Dave] Gosh. That's what my kids ask.
You're like, "Daddy's not cooking today.
Go back to bed."
There's also some beautiful
spring blossoms there in front of you.
[Dave] Is that for me?
This is for you.
You invited me to a dinner party.
-I can't come empty-handed.
-Thank you.
-[Ron] I got some wine for you.
-Oh, my gosh.
That's so sweet, Ron.
-Look what I got you.
-Oh, my God.
-Thank you so much.
-[Ron] Wait, wait.
It's so
-David is so thoughtful.
-Oh, no.
-[Chris] Let's put these in a vase.
-Beautiful. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-I brought you a Ron Funches.
I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad.
-[Dave] Thank you.
-No, you made me feel good.
-You always make me feel good.
-Oh, that's a beautiful compliment.
It's true.
I'm gonna make you a soup.
And one of the things that,
I think we said it before on this show,
it's a secret for chefs
that the best pea is actually frozen,
and I use frozen.
-[Maya] What?
-Yeah.
These are fresh peas, so we're using both.
[Maya] Why is it better?
Because the sweetness is locked in,
and the pea is fickle
in its starch content.
So, listen, a peak green pea is
gonna be amazing. Best.
But I'd rather, like,
know the floor on a frozen pea,
and it makes a wonderful soup.
So I blended this
with the shells from the green peas.
I just boiled it, made a broth,
and I blitzed it.
Add a little cream,
and now we have a soup.
[Maya] Okay, so the best pea is
a frozen pea.
-[Dave] Um
-For soup?
For soup, yeah. I mean, clearly,
a fresh pea is probably best,
but it's not always delicious.
[Maya] Never know
what you're gonna get with the flavor?
[Dave] That's right.
-[Ron] It's too wild?
-Yeah.
But does the freezing, like,
bring out the sugar
in the way a roast does?
-That's a good question.
-You heard what I was saying.
-That's a good question.
-Yeah.
I think the freezing just locks in,
in the moment.
It's almost like Sylvester Stallone
in Demolition Man.
-He's locked in ice.
-[Maya] Exact
[Ron] That's what you always
say about peas.
[laughter]
I can't believe
I just whipped out Demolition Man.
-[Maya] I can.
-That's the highlight of my day. I'm done.
You should just throw down the towel.
Just walk off set.
You guys are eating right now
Before the camera started,
I made you a truffle egg toast.
That was inspired
It's really very similar to a restaurant
that was I believe now closed,
a restaurant I loved.
To me, it was the first meal
I had in New York in the springtime,
so I wanted you guys to share it.
It's from Enoteca.
It was on Cornelia Street
in New York City, and, uh
[Maya] Why is this bread so thick
and delicious?
[Dave] It's Japanese milk bread.
That's the good bread.
-That's the good bread.
-That's that good bread.
Yeah, I got a Japanese toaster oven
just 'cause it, like, steams the bread.
And I love it.
He's got a fancy. A real fancy.
-That's fancy.
-It is fancy.
Came with a little cup.
Yeah, and then we lost the little cup,
and I cried.
[laughter]
I wanna get Japanese milk bread
all the time,
but it's not as easy unless you live
really close to a Japanese market,
but here in California, it's not as easy.
You are very familiar
with Japanese cuisine, I've been told.
I am. My stepmother is from Kyoto.
-[Dave] What a wonderful city.
-It is.
I grew up eating
a lot of homecooked Japanese food.
I thought about making Japanese food.
That's exactly why I didn't make it.
I didn't want Maya to be like,
"It's not as good as"
Why did you let that stop me
from having?
-That should not have stopped you.
-No.
Also, I don't think
she would've been like:
"What, David Chang's gonna try?"
She would've been fine.
-You gotta have more self-esteem.
-[Maya] Thank you.
It's a mixture of really low self-esteem
and really high, like, narcissism.
I'll come back
for the Japanese food episode.
-Don't worry.
-Truly.
[Dave] Well, this is not.
This is gonna be
the American spring seasonal menu.
And this is something that I enjoy.
It's a spring pea mint soup
with chocolate mint.
Chris Ying actually picked up
the mint from the market, right?
I did. I was instructed to go find
the coolest mint available.
Chocolate mint was there.
I always forget about chocolate mint.
That's a real mint?
[Chris] It's always been neglected.
Nobody ever thinks about it.
So you don't have to put chocolate
and mint in your ice cream?
You can just go get?
Why is it chocolate mint?
-Does it taste chocolaty?
-[Dave] Chris Ying?
[Chris] It tastes more like
an Andes after-dinner chocolate.
That sounds perfect.
-[Maya] There's nothing wrong with that.
-[Ron] No.
That's a sophisticated candy.
-[Dave] There's another mint.
-[Chris] Strawberry mint.
-[Dave] I didn't know what to do with it.
-[Chris] Can they taste it?
[Maya] Holy God, that's good.
Yeah. I think
you're cheating with the bacon.
The bacon does a lot.
So I made little lardons of bacon,
and then I toasted the bread,
the milk bread, same milk bread,
in that bacon fat.
-[Maya] Of course you did.
-It's beautiful.
-That's exactly what you did.
-This is beautiful.
I love soup.
When I first moved to New York
to be on Saturday Night Live,
I had no home
because they told me last minute,
"Hey, come do this."
So I just ran there.
I ran to New York City.
-[Dave] Like Forrest Gump?
-Just like Forrest.
And I lived in a hotel,
and so every day I would walk past
It was a Dean & DeLuca.
I didn't have a kitchen.
I was staying in a hotel,
so I would just get soup.
I realized it's my comfort food.
I mean, duh.
It's like those Chunky commercials.
Yeah. What's your favorite soup?
I love mint.
Minty, uh, pea soup is truly
one of my favorite soups of all time.
But when my brother and I were kids,
we were obsessed with, uh,
New England clam chowder.
-[Ron] Yeah.
-So good.
He would open the can
when we got home from school,
and he'd pour in the milk,
and we would just go clam chowder.
Can I say, I'm so happy to hear
you grew up on Campbell's Chunky soup,
as did I,
and I was a big fan
of New England clam chowder as well.
And people made fun of us.
Why? Those commercials are so good.
We're cool.
They just didn't know that we were cool.
-Are you a fan of Campbell's Chunky soup?
-[Ron] Yes.
-[Maya] You were the kid that beat us up.
-[Ron] No.
Netflix, if you're looking
for a sponsor
[laughter]
-Why are you creating beef?
-[Chris] Ron was a soup bully?
I'm from the Midwest.
We always drink soup.
-You weren't even here.
-Chilis.
Mmm, I love a chili.
I love a butternut squash.
Oh, yeah. You got
this chocolate chili recipe thing.
Oh, yeah. My friends
Actually, my daughter brought it home
'cause she was at her friend's house,
and they, um
At her house, they put chocolate chips.
They finish it, you know.
It's fun to put toppings on chili
'cause it makes kids eat it,
and you put on cheese
and onions, whatever.
And she put chili
and squeezes a little bit
I mean, chocolate chips,
and squeezes a little bit of lime.
It's so good.
-It sounds nasty.
-It does.
-[Dave] I didn't wanna say that.
-I know.
It sounds nasty,
but it tastes a bit like a mole,
like a light mole, and it's delicious.
[Dave] It does make sense
that it should taste like a mole.
It's not like a full mole.
It's not heavy-duty.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?
[laughter]
I'm not making a mole.
It's not chili. Um
I'm making you guys a crab cake.
[Maya] Yeah, you are.
[Dave] So springtime, to me,
growing up in Virginia
and near Chesapeake Bay,
was always about soft-shell crab season.
But I found
that not everybody loves soft-shell crabs.
But there's one thing
I feel like everybody loves, crab cakes.
I love a crab cake.
It's one of my favorite things in life.
-Is it really?
-[Ron] Truly.
-We are knocking it out of the park.
-[Maya] What are you, a mind reader?
It's how I judge restaurants.
Their crab cakes and their crème brûlée.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-I'm screwed now.
-[Ron] Yeah.
He was a little nervous he was gonna
sketch you out with soft-shell crabs.
If he had served you soft-shell crabs,
would he have freaked you guys out?
[Maya] No. My stepmother made us
Not made us,
but she introduced me to things
that, you know,
little girls in Southern California
were not eating in the '80s.
So, you know, in a Japanese restaurant,
when you're eating fresh fish,
they present it to you where the rest
of the body's still moving a little bit
to let you know how fresh it is,
and that's a source of pride.
So, you know, I'm not a wimp.
I just came on the show
to let everybody know I'm not a wimp.
-Do you think this is Fear Factor?
-[Dave] We can make it Fear Factor.
Actually, when we were talking,
I was like,
the only thing I don't wanna eat
is, like, a slimy thing that is coming
out of a shell, like, alive.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-I thought it was Fear Factor.
-What about mountain yam?
-[Maya] We're good with that.
-Oh, yeah? Oh.
-[Chris] You are not a wimp.
-[Dave] You are not a wimp.
-We are wimpy about mountain yams.
-You're talking about the sticky ones?
-[Dave] Yeah.
-My dad loves that stuff.
-No, no, no.
-[Maya] It stinks.
-[Dave] Not for me.
-It stinks bad.
[Dave] It's not my cup of tea.
The reason why I was thinking, you know
The last thing I want is a guest
that's here on live TV
to be like, "Mmm. Uh"
To have to eat something
they don't want to eat.
Yeah, but let's be honest.
-You're not You invited us.
-Yeah.
You're not gonna invite
a couple of dum-dums
-into your house, into your kitchen.
-Well
-Your domain.
-Well, I think the reality is,
it's all our previous guests
that have been a problem.
-[Ron] No flowers and wine?
-[Dave] No.
And I wasn't able
to re-gift the flowers back.
So rude. They come into your home
and they didn't bring anything?
[Dave] No. Actually, no.
Terry Crews brought a pie.
Bill Simmons brought his mom's meatballs,
but nobody brought me flowers.
[Maya] Wait, is that a thing?
Like, you know,
you can't invite a vampire in.
Is that a rule with chefs?
Like, bring them food?
[Dave] No. I would say this.
If you're going to a restaurant,
and your friend is in the kitchen
and they're a cook,
one of the nice things to do is
to bring them something to drink
or some sugar, like a snack,
because by the end of the night,
you want electrolytes
and you want something sweet.
-Electrolytes like booze?
-That too.
-Gatorade is actually Gatorade.
-Really?
Yeah. Gatorade and gummy bears
or something like that always works well.
[Chris] Dave, our Internet sleuths
have spotted that Old Bay
and are applauding the move.
You mean this Old Bay? Um
-What else is going into your crab cakes?
-[Maya] Oh, this Old Bay?
-[Chris] This Old Bay?
-To me, uh
If you are in the Chesapeake area,
there is a more local name
and a different mix that's not Old Bay.
-[Maya] What's the other one?
-I can't remember.
-But that's the real street-cred one.
-Old Hey.
What are you putting in there?
I put mayonnaise,
some Worcestershire sauce.
-Okay.
-Um
And I'm really debating
[stammers] A little mustard.
And I'm really debating,
do I add a little breadcrumbs in there?
Because I made one earlier today.
It did not work out so well.
And the breadcrumbs are
to keep it together?
Yeah, but the whole goal with,
I think, a crab cake is no filler.
-It's got to be
-[Ron] Yes.
-Juicy.
-He knows.
Now that we have a crab cake expert,
my life is on the line.
I think
you gotta go all killer, no filler.
What you're doing right now is why
I think cooking is a superpower
and why chefs are far cooler than actors.
And it's because
-Other than Ron. Sorry.
-Thank you.
Because what you're doing
is also scientific.
You're, like, "Oh, I'm gonna mix
the mayonnaise
with the mustard, then put a little"
Like all the properties need
to go together to do something.
That's what I want to be able to do
in the kitchen and look cool.
-That's big.
-[Ron] That is big.
-[Maya] That's like a hamburger.
-[Ron] That's what you want.
[Dave] This is Dungeness crab,
and I spent a good portion of my afternoon
picking it specifically for you guys.
-[Ron] Thank you.
-[Maya] It was for Ron.
But I'll pretend it was for me too.
But you know what I mean?
All the acids, and
All the things that go together,
like, you
I just want someone to
Did you learn all that by trial and error,
or did you have to go to school?
I went to school, but I didn't learn much.
You one of those guys
who just, like, has it here already?
Absolutely not.
'Cause most people would never say
that I was good in school,
either culinary school or real school.
Yeah, I'm not gonna name any names,
but I know some really talented people
who did not flourish in school,
but were so gifted already
that school was frustrating for them.
Yeah, I dropped out
of community college in three weeks.
I was talking about Ron.
[Chris laughs]
Do you think you can?
Do you have a heightened sense of taste,
or, like, how musicians have synesthesia
and they can see music?
-[Maya] I wish I had that.
-Yeah.
[Dave] I don't think that is it.
I'm friends
with a lot of comedians and such,
and I think I just
-I grind. I grind it out.
-[Maya] Yeah.
[Dave] I find mistakes I can improve upon.
[Maya] You grind, but you also know
what tastes good,
what doesn't taste good.
I mean, yeah, it's a combination of
It ain't just grinding.
Guys, that's the name of my new show.
It Ain't Just Grinding.
[Ron] Give us a monologue from it.
[Chris] Yeah. Break us off
a piece of that, Old Bay.
You know, thank you.
Old Bay. Wow, I really walked
right into that, didn't I?
Um [stammers] What is my show called?
-It Ain't Just Grinding.
-It Ain't Just Grinding.
Two sips of tequila
and I'm completely gone.
-You drudged a minute ago.
-I did, and I did it poorly
because I have
to always keep one hand clean,
but I'm sure if someone's watching,
they're like:
"What a dum-dum. He did it poorly."
Guess what. If anybody's
watching this show, they're into you.
I don't think they think you're a dum-dum.
I think they like you.
[Chris] Lot of people calling you
a dum-dum.
-[Maya] You're on the dum-dum net?
-I'm on the dum-dum channel.
I guess sometimes people watch
to call you a dum-dum.
-Is that panko?
-It is panko.
[Maya] Is there any?
Is there any secret to panko?
Does it need very little?
I can tell you that the panko
we get in America, for the most part,
you get it at the supermarket,
is not actually the good panko.
The good panko in Japan is fresh.
And it's, like
It's like small little feathers,
and it's amazing.
You can't get it here.
You can get it in New York
and some places in L.A.
-You cannot?
-You can.
But I don't think you can find it at home
or a grocery store.
-[Maya] So who do you have to call?
-I don't know. Chris?
-[Chris] Who's your panko plug?
-[Maya] Who's your panko guy?
I'll tell you later. I'll tell
You need fake IDs? Panko? I got it all.
One of the things that I try to do,
we haven't done it on every episode,
is get ingredients
that everyone can sort of get.
-Yeah.
-Right?
A couple episodes, we definitely didn't.
We blew our budget for the year.
I think there are things
I wanna be able to do
that maybe someone can use at home,
and if I use fresh panko,
someone's gonna be like, "What?"
[Ron] There's a balance.
I wanna watch. I wanna live through you.
I wanna taste things
that I could never taste.
I think it's also,
correct me if I'm wrong,
but I feel like, as a creator,
you're living in a time
where there are a lot of opinions,
and sometimes
we limit ourselves as artists
because we're worried
that we're going to offend someone.
But there might also be
an opportunity to do both,
-or to have Or just feed me and Ron.
-[Ron] Yeah.
Or just feed us
the best possible panko that there is.
Don't worry about being relatable.
You guys are like my therapists.
I love this.
We come as a unit. We come as a set.
We're $3000 an hour.
[laughter]
And we
But you can also pay us in chocolate mint.
Oh, back to this. This is chocolate mint
and this is strawberry mint,
if you can tell the difference.
[Maya] Chocolate mint tastes more minty.
-I thought it'd be more chocolaty.
-You can get the
I coated this in panko
and I'm cooking this in olive oil.
Some clarified butter.
What I should do
is sort of bake it in the oven
'cause it's so fragile.
-But we'll see. We'll see what happens.
-[Ron] Okay.
[Maya] I have a feeling
it's still gonna taste good.
[Dave] I hope so.
Um
Dungeness crab is like Is good.
It's not my favorite crab.
That's gonna piss people off
from the West Coast.
[Maya] Why?
'Cause the best in America is blue crab.
-[Ron] Okay.
-[Chris whoops]
Are you?
-[Dave] You're from the West Coast.
-I love blue crab.
[Maya] You got It got a whoo!
-[Ron] Got a cheer.
-Trying to represent blue crab.
-Yeah.
-You got a blue-crab farm?
I got a lot of money in blue crab.
A lot of assets tied up.
Growing up, my family, um
My dad's side of the family
lived in Miami
Still in Miami.
And they used to take me
to Joe's Stone Crab.
-[Dave] Ooh!
-And that, to me, is a delicacy.
-Good hash browns.
-Really good.
-Really good, yeah.
-One of the best key lime pies.
Key lime pie should replace Thanksgiving
-[Maya] Do you love key lime pie?
-It should be an American pie.
-[Maya] I agree.
-Right?
-I agree with you.
-[Dave] At the end of the meal,
-it's tart, you know?
-Refreshing.
That's right.
It should not be a spicy, sweet gourd pie.
That's what a pumpkin pie is.
Well, yeah, it's a gourd-y holiday.
It's a very
It's quite gourd-y. I agree.
And I feel like that's why
You know. On top of the fact
that it's so many dishes.
As now the matriarch
of the house for Thanksgiving,
I'm always overwhelmed
with A. multiple palates, right?
I have vegetarians, vegans,
and big, old meat eaters in my family,
And, like, how many dishes to have
This was not on the menu,
but when I picked the crab today,
a beautiful Dungeness crab, I picked it
and I turned the bodies into soup
'cause I hate throwing things away.
The best part of the crab is
what you can get from the broth.
So I added just
I just cooked it with water,
a little garlic, some of the ramp tops.
-And added a knob of butter.
-[Maya] Mmm.
-It's like crab bone broth.
-[Dave] Right?
-I wanna bathe in this.
-Yeah.
[laughter]
You know what's funny?
I wanna bathe you in it.
-I had a dream about that.
-In crab bone broth.
Jesus, this is delicious.
Dave, the Internet is asking.
"Blue crab, best crab in America."
Is there a better crab in the world?
Something you like. What's that?
Mud crab. And one of the things
I wanna try before I
On the bucket list for me
is a coconut crab.
-[Maya] What's that?
-Crabs that have these giant claws
that are big enough to crush a coconut.
And all they eat are coconuts, so
In the shell, it starts to store the fat.
-So it tastes like coconut.
-[Ron] Yeah.
-Where do they live?
-Some island that I'll never go to.
Yeah, 'cause it's surrounded by coconuts.
Like coconuts. What? Just like
Question. How do they get to the coconuts?
-Did they fall in the water?
-They fall down, yeah.
But I think the crab looks
more like a hermit crab.
So I don't know if it's delicious or not.
It's a terrestrial giant hermit crab.
[Maya] How giant are we talking?
When's the last time
someone ate a hermit crab?
-Right?
-Yeah, that's a no.
-Good point.
-I mean, that sounds like
-René Redzepi.
-[laughter]
I feel like not only would that crush
a coconut but also maybe a human skull.
-Is that possible?
-Yeah. Be careful with your digits
'cause they could like Yeah.
[Maya] Sounds dangerous. I worry for you.
-[Dave] It could be delicious.
-I want you to eat it.
Don't get me wrong.
I just don't want you to die.
So this is my favorite parsley.
Curly parsley.
-[Maya] It is over Italian flat-leaf?
-'Cause you know what?
How do you know these types of parsley?
-There's only two.
-[Dave] There's only two.
But this is, like, neglected.
The kid at school that doesn't have anyone
sitting at its lunch table in high school.
I'm telling you, this is the cooler,
more interesting parsley.
-We should just ignore flat-leaf.
-[Maya] Why? What's happening?
It's much more beautiful.
-[Maya] It's been neglected?
-Yeah. I mean
And flavor-wise, do you feel
like there's a huge difference,
or is it more about the aesthetic?
-Like, that's Italian flat-leaf.
-This is Italian.
I know that guy. Yeah.
-And this is the cooler cousin.
-I mean
-The cousin that went abroad.
-Yeah.
-[Ron] Okay.
-That's my cousin I kissed by accident.
And that's my Italian
The foreign exchange student
that I slept with.
It's just for decoration.
But it does have flavor.
Um, and I'm gonna come out
of the closet and say this,
I'm not the biggest fan of parsley.
Maybe that's why you're rooting for it.
I'm tasting it to see
if there's a huge flavor difference.
Are you saying as a garnish
or as a flavor?
I think as a garnish. There's
So we've come full circle
in plating, right?
And I don't need to give you
a whole discourse on plating.
-[Ron] Please do. Yeah.
-[Maya] You could.
Doing this and then just putting
a crab cake right there,
that to me is beautiful.
I don't need any other thing.
When I started to cook,
I'd be like, "That's boring."
Now I'm like that
That takes a lot of confidence.
Right? A little thing of That's it.
Yeah.
See, I feel like that's also like
you have to go far to come back.
You have to have tried everything
to know what works.
It's like when you're not
so sure of yourself
and you're like, "I'm gonna dress up.
Put on all these extra things.
This cologne and gold chains,"
and then you go back, "Oh, maybe I'll just
wear my favorite watch and shirt."
That's it.
That's what we have to do as humans.
You got to go to the edge so you can
come back and decide what you like.
[Ron] Mm-hmm.
You like how
as we're talking about dumb shit,
he's just like, "Oh, here's another dish"?
[laughter]
[Ron] I feel like we're inspiring him.
I do feel like it is a therapy session
and I'm enjoying it.
-Are those artichokes?
-These are artichokes.
And for a lot of cooks
that work in fancy restaurants,
artichokes are the bane
of their existence, it was for me,
because cleaning them, it's a nightmare.
Especially when you clean it,
you sort of
-[Ron] Yeah.
-Everything is 90% of it is waste.
So for the people that don't want to have
artichokes or don't have access,
I did half of this
with frozen baby artichokes.
[Maya] Oh, my God.
The other half, I did with regular baby
artichokes that I Tournée'd and cleaned.
And I did something I never done before,
which is pan roast them in olive oil.
-That's it.
-You didn't cook them in any other way?
Nope. Just pan roasted.
And then I hit it with some lemon juice.
The garlic tops The ramp tops, I mean.
I cut and just added that to that.
So in some way,
this is a weird interpretation
of a restaurant in New Orleans,
Galatoire's,
where they have a restaurant
-[Maya] I've been there.
-Great, right?
It's incredible.
-They have a dish called
-You have to go.
A classic New Orleans dish
called Crab Sardou.
So it's crab meat, uh, spinach,
artichoke, and hollandaise sauce.
This is crab meat,
and I don't have spinach,
but I'm replacing that with the ramp tops.
I'm gonna give you
the ramp bottoms later
-Yeah, you are.
-and artichokes.
She eat all that ramp bottom.
Is artichoke and crab
a classic combination, Dave?
-Or is that unique?
-[Dave] Today, it is.
[Ron] I've never seen that.
[Maya] You didn't know
it was artichoke and crab day?
[Chris] I missed the memo. I got left out.
It's on the calendar.
And I added some pine nuts
and parmesan and that's about it.
And I got to say,
-I was surprised at how tasty this was.
-[Maya] I cannot wait.
-Did you say Tournée?
-I did.
'Cause I wanted to be cool
and let you finish.
-I don't know that.
-Neither do I.
-Neither do I.
-Can I ask some advice?
Yes, please.
'Cause I've been trying to get my cooking
skills on a level besides nonexistent,
and I bought some artichokes
and wanted to cook them.
And then I read instructions
on how to clean them and cook them.
So then I just threw them away.
What could I have done differently?
[Maya] Other than throwing them away?
-[Dave] Just microwaved them.
-Okay.
-What?
-Microwaving artichokes works beautiful.
You know? Um, that works great.
-[Maya] When you say microwave it?
-Boiling.
-Just throw it in there?
-Yeah. Just throw the whole thing in.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
-Boiling works well.
-[Ron] Thank you.
[Dave] But artichokes
are really difficult to clean.
-[Maya] I think so.
-They're intimidating.
I never cook them at home.
I always use something
that's canned or frozen, but
I'm feeling like I'm learning
that it's cool to use both
from a chef's perspective.
And that's taking away
the stigma of frozen like
Especially growing up,
'70s and '80s, like, frozen was like
Then you started to get embarrassed.
That you ate frozen vegetables.
People don't realize that freezing
-is actually the best way to store food.
-[Maya] That's right.
It's the most nutrient dense way
of preserving food.
-And I grew up on frozen meals.
-[Ron] It's so flavorful.
[Maya] Mmm!
-Should I give him a whole crab cake?
-Please.
This crab cake is just for you.
Which one do you want?
-[Ron] Left. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-It's more toasty.
-She's Oh.
Sorry, she came
with some of the ugly cousin.
-Yeah. Bring your cousin with you.
-[laughter]
Ron, I asked Dave
about this flavor combination.
'Cause I think that you
and your son maybe have come up
with a few of your own unique
and not classical ingredient combinations.
-True or false?
-[Ron] That's very true.
My oldest son is on the autism spectrum,
and so he often didn't want
to eat much of anything,
and he would make up his own combinations,
including Oreos and bacon
being one of his favorites.
-It doesn't sound bad.
-It's not bad.
-I have a feeling it's good.
-It was.
-He didn't eat it alone.
-Yeah.
[laughter]
-You got a taster.
-Yeah, gotta have a taster.
But I'm very proud 'cause he's been
more open trying new things.
-That's amazing.
-Yeah.
It's so hard.
-[Dave] Getting your kids to eat is hard.
-Yeah.
And also you come at it
as a parent thinking:
"They're gonna love this.
I love this. They're gonna love this."
Good news, that doesn't ever happen.
Maybe like once in a blue moon,
but it just doesn't happen.
Ron, when I, uh
We both did that, uh,
Seth Rogen's Hilarity for Charity.
And you did your stand-up,
I thought that was
one of the funniest stand-ups.
-Thank you.
-When you were talking about autism,
I never heard stand-up
that integrated all of that.
So funny. I pissed my pants laughing.
-I appreciate that.
-[Maya] It's okay you pissed your pants.
-You can tell everybody now on live TV.
-Yeah.
Since we're live on Netflix,
tell them to give me a special.
[laughter]
-Oh, my God, this crab cake is
-Is it good?
Yeah. Really light and crispy, right?
-[Dave] No fillers.
-[Ron] Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-[Maya] So that's the key?
-[Ron] Yeah. [stammers]
That's how I judge a crab cake.
I need more crab than cake.
-I don't taste cake, I taste crab.
-It's all crab.
So I'm gonna be cooking things
for the next course.
[Maya] Jeez. Okay.
I just mixed in equal parts, uh
egg, milk and flour.
And this is gonna be a spaetzle, and
I'm not German,
not from Austria, but I work next
Shout-out P.J. Knollmueller.
What's up, man? He taught me.
-[Ron] What up, P.J.?!
-[laughter]
He would make this
for family meal all the time.
[Chris] We got P.J. in the back.
He's coming out here.
[Dave] That'd be funny.
He's a hell of a cook. Um
And I'm gonna
So this is gonna be an extruded pasta.
In here, I'm gonna cook it in some water,
strain it out and cook it in butter.
I'm also gonna get some lamb chops
and season them in Momo Tingly Salt.
So that's gonna be cooking.
And I have some morels and some ramps.
-[Ron] Sounds like I should not finish.
-This is going to become pasta?
-Yes.
-Like, in front of us?
-Yes. This is
-[laughter]
This is a joke that's not yet formed.
You're gonna see it.
Gonna come back to it,
it's gonna make sense.
-I believe you.
-I hope so.
This is like going to a rock concert
and having someone blow your mind.
I'm like, whatever ride you're
gonna take me on, I'm here for it.
Even if you think it sucks,
I know it's gonna be great, right?
Yeah. I'm truly not even sure
if I'm alive right now.
[Dave] As long
as you guys are having a good time,
-that's all that matters.
-[Maya] I am, and so is this crab.
-It's so good.
-It's so good.
You're making it look really easy,
which is always the most disturbing thing.
I'm gonna go home and be like,
"I can cook too. Watch this."
It doesn't taste good.
I feel like when people watch you, they
Same thing, like,
you make it look easy, but it's not.
[Maya] Mmm.
Well, I guess you didn't think about that.
[laughter]
You know,
very few people can just, like, sing.
[Maya] That's true.
Few people can just go up and do stand-up.
[Maya] That's true.
I have never done stand-up.
I thought when I was younger,
when I was in college, I thought:
"Oh, since I wanna be a comedian,
I need to start writing stand-up."
So I started writing it
and I instantly thought:
"Oh, I will never be a stand-up."
And I've never done it.
I think that's important.
Just know what you want.
So many people come into stand-up
that truly seem like they hate it
and wanna do anything else,
and it's like, lean into the things
that you truly love.
I couldn't do improv.
-Improv was
-[Maya] You've never done it?
[Ron] I mean, I've gone and guested
on things, but I never joined a team
or did anything like that.
Any type of long-form improv.
Um, it's so funny
what becomes comfortable, right?
Like, what you know becomes comfortable,
doing a live television show
and doing the thing that you do best.
It's crazy what becomes comfortable.
None of it's easy.
When did performing live
become comfortable to you?
I don't know if I would use the
Maybe I wouldn't use "comfortable."
That's not true, I really did
There's a part of me
that now is so in love with
the process of Saturday Night Live.
It will never leave my bones.
-Oh, that's what you did.
-[Ron laughs]
[Maya] Look at that!
[Chris] Can you explain what you're doing
for those of us who are uncomfortable?
[Dave] I'm scraping the spaetzle,
which is an equal part mixture, again,
of milk, flour and eggs
and some salted water
through a perforated pan.
And if you don't have this pan, which
I did not have until 40 minutes ago
-I was using this.
-Yeah. What's that pan normally used for?
Just to hold food.
[Ron] I thought you poked holes
in a kitty litter box.
-[Maya] Yeah.
-[laughter]
I use a bench grip or plastic
bench scraper to force it through.
[Maya] Amazing.
So Dave is now entering what is known
in a professional kitchen as "the weeds."
-[Maya] Why is that?
-16 things happening at the same time.
So I wonder if we could use
this opportunity, Maya and Ron,
to lean on you guys for a little help.
-You are both
-[Ron] Look at this piece of crab.
celebrated voice actors.
We've been thinking over here
that Dinner Time Live might do really well
with an animated adaptation.
[Ron] Okay, spin-off.
We wanna pitch to our Netflix executives
who are watching in the other room.
-[Dave] And Ron's comedy special.
-[Ron] There you go.
-[Chris] And Ron's comedy special.
-[Ron] There we go.
-[Chris] We got a lot of pitches.
-[Maya] Great.
We have characters that we're hoping
you guys could help us workshop
some voices for,
if you guys would be game.
These are drawn from the episodes
we've done so far of Dinner Time Live,
so I wanna first introduce you
to a little fellow we named Kris P. Kreme.
Aka "The best dessert in the world."
It is a pan-fried Krispy Kreme doughnut
topped with vanilla ice cream
that Dave first served
to Rashida Jones and Steve Yeun.
Uh
What does this little doughnut sound like,
either one of you,
when he or she is about to be smothered
and covered with vanilla ice cream?
[Ron] He seems like
I mean, he's a skittish guy.
I see that.
Well, he doesn't have ankles,
so he's worried about the impact.
[Ron] Yeah. He's very much
a sky-is-falling type of guy, so
Is he kind of like, um?
[groaning]
-[Chris] I think that's exactly what
-[Ron] Not again.
No. The cream!
Maybe his catchphrase is "Oh, no."
[Ron] Or "Oh, nuts."
Yeah. That's it.
-And then the walnuts come.
-[Chris] Uh
Next we have another little fella
we've named Prawny Knoxville.
Of course.
This is the daring shrimp that flew
across our kitchen into Dave's mouth
during our teppanyaki episode
with Sebastian Maniscalco and King Bach.
I heard about that perfect pitch.
[Chris] What is Prawny Knoxville's
internal monologue
as he is sailing across the room,
headed straight for Mr. Chang?
I mean, I'm gonna be honest.
I don't do a good Johnny Knoxville,
so I'm gonna go on a
I'm gonna go a different route,
but I feel like the glasses are
making him very cool.
-[Ron] Yeah.
-Right?
He's got catchphrases for sure.
Like:
[deep voice] "Saddle up, mama,
we're going for a ride."
[laughter]
[normal voice] Like that?
Like that catchphrase.
Oh, I think that's exactly Exactly it.
Uh, next, we've got this.
-This one was built for Ron in particular.
-[Maya] Yes.
'Cause we know
Ron is a wrestling super fan.
And this beefy boy is Tim Parmo.
He is seven layers of protein and pasta
with tomato sauce running
through his veins.
What does Tim Parmo sound like
when he's trying to intimidate
his opponents in the ring?
You have a particular opponent for him?
Uh, well, let's say he's facing off
with Roman Reigns.
-Okay. Okay.
-The recent champion.
He's like: [gruff voice]
"Let me tell you something, Roman.
You think you're a beefcake?
I got seven layers
running through my veins.
Of beef and cheese
and meat and sex appeal."
[laughter]
I am scared and aroused.
[Chris] And a little hungry.
-[Dave] That's what we want.
-Yes.
Satiate hunger. But scared and aroused.
That's the subtitle of the show.
I think this will be the last one.
This is Il Signore del Caviale.
[in Italian accent] You mean,
Il Signore del Caviale?
[Chris] That is what I meant.
I didn't have the hand motions.
[in normal voice] Well, is that
a caviar hand on his monocle?
-[Chris] It is.
-And a caviar mustache.
This is the bastard son of a caviar baron
and a lowly pizza maker
from the Seth Rogen
and Ike Barinholtz episode.
He looks very snobby
and I like that in a pizza.
[Chris] He is very snobby.
What is? What does
Il Signore del Caviale sound like
when he shows up at the valet
saying they don't have his car?
He's like, um
-[speaking in Italian]
-[laughter]
[in Italian accent]
"I am Il Signore del Caviale.
Where is my Tesla truck?"
[laughter]
[Chris] Oh, my God. Thank you.
-I feel we'll get a green light on this.
-[Maya in normal voice] Thank you.
Um, thank you, guys, for doing that.
-I was able to do cooking.
-[Chris] How you doing, Dave?
-How you doing?
-Still a little worried.
Is that? That's the
-[Dave] So this is the spaetzle.
-[Maya] Spaetzle, wow.
If I wasn't acting,
I would've watched what you did.
-[Dave] I'm sorry.
-How dare you?
-[Dave] That was Chris's idea.
-Unbelievable.
I said, "This is a terrible idea."
All they do is voiceover all the time.
All you do is cook all the time.
We're good. Even.
See, Chris? No, I'm joking.
-So how long did you cook it for?
-Uh
So when the spaetzle hits the water,
it will drop,
and then as it rises, then it's done.
Sometimes people take it out
and put it into an ice bath
and cook it later.
Like it's, uh If you ever do
potato gnocchi that way.
Since I have to cook it right away,
I just put it in this nonstick pan
with some butter, salt
-I'm looking to get color.
-[Maya] Fun.
That looks like a fun thing
to make with kids.
[Dave] Exactly, exactly. Um
But I've made this for my kids
and they still won't eat it.
[Maya] That's 'cause it's you.
If I came to your house,
I'd be like, "Ooh. This is delicious."
If it's a parent, it's not as fun.
It's not as cool.
I mean, it really drives me crazy.
-[Ron] Yeah.
-[Maya] I get it.
My son only wants to eat food
if I'm eating it already.
-That's right.
-Then they want it.
Yeah. If it's yours
It's like, I can't keep a glass of water
anywhere near me.
"Can I have that? Can I have that?"
-Yeah. Teddy would
-This is my water.
Mine.
Teddy likes it.
He went, "I want Daddy water."
Yeah. "It tastes better
when it's Daddy water."
Wow. I've made a mess. I should go home.
[Dave] So I'm about
to take these lamb chops off.
They take about, I would say,
three minutes each side.
Um
I've been trying to keep track of time.
So I think this is about three minutes.
[Maya] You poked it,
so are you poking for a certain?
Yeah, this one is more rare than this one.
-[Maya] Because of the spring?
-Yeah.
-I'm learning.
-[Ron laughs]
[Maya] Watch me never try
any of this at home.
Oh, you want it to be kind of browned.
The spaetzle.
How do you cook in a house
that has different dietary restrictions?
Do you make stuff different
for yourself and your son? Do you?
It's really hard.
I'm not gonna lie,
it's actually, in my opinion,
stressful to come up
with what the meal's gonna be.
Especially with multiple people,
like in my house.
You wanna cook one thing
and have everyone eat it, but
And I personally
Because of my vegetarians
and vegans, I really
In my personal preference,
I try to go away from processed fake meat.
I try to do I'd rather do their protein
from like whole, you know
-[Dave] Like, plant-based, real
-Real plants.
[Ron] Lentils.
-[Maya] Lentils.
-[Ron] Lentils.
[Maya] So all kinds of beans, tofus
So it's hard. It's really hard.
COVID, I became like
a pioneer woman during COVID.
I was making the bread,
like, wiping my brow with my apron.
I went full pioneer woman.
-A lot of sourdough?
-A lot of sourdough.
And, like, used it to also make
scallion pancakes and pizza.
Oh, I love scallion pancakes.
It was really fun, actually.
But I haven't done that since COVID.
[Chris] Yeah, Dave is being polite.
He has an opinion about COVID-era bread.
-[Maya] I want to hear it.
-I think that, uh
so much bad bread was made.
[laughter]
That, uh, everyone's
We wasted so much possible good bread.
We should've given the flour
to the professionals.
-[Ron] That's so funny.
-You know?
If I had known you then,
I would've just called you and said:
[in deep voice] "Come make me bread."
-I would have done it.
-[in normal voice] I'd have loved that.
[Ron] That's how I felt
when O.J. Simpson died.
I was like,
"Here comes a bunch of bad jokes."
It's true.
-Although it got quiet fast.
-It did get quiet fast.
[Maya]
Well, our news cycles are interested
in things turning over like that,
you know?
Those are morels, right?
[Dave] These are morels, and these are
These were foraged. Um
-One of my favorite mushrooms.
-[Maya] Crazy-looking.
They are crazy-looking.
Sometimes they can be really sandy,
which is why, like,
a lot of times when you're cooking
foraged mushrooms, exotic mushrooms,
never wash them.
Clean them with a brush
and be delicate with them.
But I find, with morels,
you almost have to wash them to get the
sometimes, the sand
and forest-floor stuff off.
[Maya] Sand? Actual sand?
-Sometimes it can be really gritty. Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
Like, where do you find a morel?
Where do you forage for these?
Sometimes they happen after rain.
Sometimes they happen after,
like, a forest fire.
-They pop up quite a bit.
-Why is that?
-The soil creates?
-Chris Ying.
-Oh, boy. I think they like the ash
-[laughter]
-It's spelled W-I-A-I
-"Why morels like fire?"
Yeah. That's so weird.
"It removes competing vegetation,"
-according to Morel Mushroom dot com.
-Oh.
So they're kind of a little bit
of mushroom bully?
They're bullied
until the fire removes them.
[Maya] I got you now.
So this is the bottom of the ramp.
And ramps can be, um
pickled. I love pickling.
These are the first season of the ramps.
They're small, they can get really big,
and then they'll flower,
so they turn into a flower.
Uh, but again,
that flavor is really a gentle garlic.
-[Maya] It's a garlic family, a ramp?
-It's a garlic allium family, yes.
-[Maya] What? Allium.
-Allium.
-"Allium"?
-[Chris] Yesterday you said "allium."
And then somebody tried
to change it to "allium."
But you were right. "Allium."
-[Dave] "Allium."
-[Maya] Wow, didn't even know that.
Till today.
I'll put the rest of the peas in,
and we have fava beans.
This is also hallmark
And also, for cooks,
one of the dumbest vegetables
you can cook in a kitchen.
-So stupid.
-[Maya] Why?
There are places
that, like, brunoise I mean
I don't even Where do we begin on these?
[Chris] They have to be shucked twice
just to use them.
-[Dave] And like
-[Maya] Twice?
[Chris] Kick them out, then take
their clothes off in order to use them.
But sometimes you should shuck them
when they're raw, so
I find the word "shuck" very funny.
-[Chris] It's a pretty good word.
-It's a good word.
-[Maya] Doesn't it sound dirty?
-It does.
-Shuck. I'm shucking.
-Oh, shucky.
Shucky, shucky now.
[Dave] This would be called like a ragout.
[Ron] Why did you look me
in the eyes for that?
I mean, I wanted us to be together for it.
-What? A ragout?
-[Dave] Ragout.
What's the definition? A sauce?
-No?
-[Dave] Goddamn it.
-Questions I'm not prepared to answer.
-I'm so sorry.
I love you and I think about you
all the time.
I just have so many questions
I never get to ask.
-I bet this is annoying.
-No, I'm loving it.
I mean, I really have a lot of questions.
-Makes you sound smart to me.
-It does, right?
I don't know the answers, but
-[Ron] But I wouldn't even know to ask.
-You're gonna like this.
So you call something a ragout
when you're putting it all together
-I think it's like a mélange.
-[Maya] to make a flavor?
A "ragù," R-A-G-U,
is the Italian meat sauce
we all know and love.
And a "ragout" that Dave is
talking about is R-A-G-O-U-T.
-A French mélange.
-[Maya] Like "rag out"?
-Yeah, "rag out."
-Gotcha.
When the kids say, "we want to rag out,"
they mean eat some vegetables.
Yeah. "You guys want to come over
to my house and rag out?"
-Yeah.
-[laughter]
"You guys, do you guys like to rag out?"
I haven't ragged out since college.
[Chris]
With that foreign exchange student.
Yeah.
How did you know about that, Chris?
[Maya] I did just tell live television
all about it.
It's all right.
What a cool-looking bed
to put your protein on top of.
Your veggie and your protein.
That's a good-looking dish.
And technically
you could do this for your vegetarian
-[Dave] Right?
-And, I mean
Don't tell the vegans
there's butter all up in there.
[laughter]
What they don't know won't hurt them.
[Dave] But this is, to me, spring on a
-This is spring.
-That's beautiful.
[Ron] That is gorgeous.
-[Maya] Wow.
-[Ron] Yay.
-[Maya] Yeah, just pile it.
-[Ron] Mm-mm.
[Maya] Dang. Yay!
-There you go.
-[gasps]
-Thank you.
-And your spaetzle.
[Maya] Wow.
-[Dave] And I'll get into dessert for you.
-[Maya] Yeah, you will.
Let's go, David. Hurry up.
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how much you've cooked already.
Do you want to take a break and eat?
I would love to take a break.
-Sit in your accomplishment for a minute?
-[Maya] Bask in your glory.
-[Ron] Yeah.
-Might be a little under.
Well
That's my other fear about cooking meat
'cause I didn't grow up cooking it.
-I'm always afraid of killing people.
-[laughter]
[Dave] Me too.
Seriously, it's one of the reasons
why I hate doing, like, uh
special-occasion things.
There's so many different people
that you don't work with
and you would be responsible for.
I'm paranoid about all these things.
But, yes, I legit am worried
about killing people all the time.
Like [stammers]
I mean, it's
There's definitely a line
where it's undercooked
and you shouldn't eat it,
but we're nowhere near that, right?
-[Dave] No.
-You could see it. You would see it.
[Dave] I think this is
This is nice.
[Maya] Now you're saying that
based on the color of it?
[Dave] Nice.
-[Chris] Are you a lamb guy, Dave?
-[Dave] Not a lamb guy.
Where is? Rank the meats.
-[Ron] Rank meats!
-Rank meat.
[Maya] Rank your meats.
Let's go.
Most people would think
that I would have to say
the pig is the number one animal.
Magical, mystical animal.
Like that Simpsons episode.
But I think the true
Like, if I was gonna believe in a god,
I would believe in a god simply
because they created the duck.
-[Maya] Really?
-Duck is the best, best animal to eat.
-Why?
-Uh, wild ducks are delicious,
but also domesticated ducks,
because it's so versatile.
You have the fat, number one,
that you can use for different things.
The breast meat, turn it into charcuterie,
turn it into an entrée appetizer
It's so versatile. The duck legs
can be confit, turned into Peking duck.
It's also got variations
all over the world, right?
That are fantastic. So
One of the best duck things
I've ever had
Oh, thank you.
is duck bacon
at Jack's Wife Freda in New York.
-Have you had that?
-I have not.
[Maya] It's outstanding.
But that's very similar. Turning that
You know, you take duck breast,
you cure it, and you let it age,
you slice it very thinly, and
[Maya] And it's not very duck-like,
in my opinion.
-[Dave] That's why.
-[Maya] I don't know why.
[Dave] So I would go duck, shocking, one.
I think for people,
two is pig, three is chicken.
Oh, man.
-[Chris laughs]
-Three would be beef.
[Chris] Two birds in your top three?
-Are you crazy?
-Beef and chicken in a fight.
This would be a cage match
between chicken and beef. Yeah.
You're not? All the red meats.
You're not going? Oh, I guess
[Dave] Beef. Yeah, all beef.
-And chicken, you said.
-[Dave] Chicken's so good too.
Duck makes you sound rich,
that that's your favorite.
-Went straight to duck.
-Yeah.
'Cause as a cook,
when you get to work with it
You never eat that as foie gras,
all these things.
You only read about it.
When you get to work with it,
"This is extremely versatile."
Sorry. I'm not trying to sound
bourgeoisie elitist with the duck,
but it's truly
[Ron] This is what we talked about.
Be you. Be authentic.
-That's right.
-Don't worry about being relatable.
-Also, we didn't
-[laughing] Don't worry about
[laughter]
[Chris] Just cover your duck
in that handmade panko, man.
Do what you gotta do.
I wanna hear I want Maya and Ron
to rank their meats,
but the Internet's wondering
about how you finished that spaetzle.
[Dave] Oh, with a lot of butter.
-[Maya] That's all you did, right?
-Yeah, butter and salt.
-[Ron] You could taste the butter.
-[Dave] A lot of butter.
-[Maya] It's so good and crispy.
-That's the key to it.
You want Doesn't have to get color.
-But it's nice when it has that texture.
-[Maya] I like the crunchy.
I think spaetzle's highly underrated.
And I'm jealous
that it was invented in Germany.
-Koreans should've done that.
-[Maya] Yeah.
[Chris] I think it came from Korea.
-My sources
-[Dave] It's Korean.
-Henceforth, it's Korea.
-Yeah.
[Ron] Maya, rank your meats. I wanna know.
-[Chris] Rank your meat.
-Rank your meats!
[all] Rank your meats!
I
Again, let's talk about my childhood.
I
I was raised
what I was told is vegetarian.
Thank you, Ron.
But we really just ate chicken and fish,
so I was the uncool kid that, like,
when people went to McDonald's,
I'd get the Filet-O-Fish.
So I didn't really eat red meat
until I was much older.
And I feel like fish and poultry
are more comfort foods.
Also, going back to that idea of cooking,
I don't cook a lot of red meat,
I'm not familiar with its properties,
but if I'm going to your restaurant,
or somewhere that knows how to cook it,
I'll eat it, but I'd never cook it at home
'cause it overwhelms me.
Did you put balsamic
on those strawberries?
I'm excited about that.
What'd you put on those suckers?
Uh, strawberry. Dehydrated strawberries
that I pulverized.
These are buttermilk biscuit cookies.
And I got to say, that's under,
it should be a more medium.
I'm mad at myself.
-Do you want me to throw it in your face?
-No, I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna see
a one-star Yelp review by Maya later.
-[Maya] I don't see any complaints.
-[Dave] I know.
That one was a little thicker than his.
Is that why? I went for the thicker one.
I got greedy.
-Ron, you wanna rank your meat?
-[Ron] I'll happily rank.
Number one is chicken thighs.
I like chicken thighs.
I eat them about every day.
And then I would probably go bison.
I like bison quite a bit.
-[Maya] You voted for bison?
-Yeah.
And I'm And you think I'm fancy stuff?
-[Ron] Yeah. I'm embracing it.
-This guy's eating tatanka over here.
I embrace it, though.
I'm happy to eat my bison every day.
-[Maya] Is bison more lean?
-[Dave] Very lean.
High in omega-3.
And the fat, it's something that
I believe bison might have
more omega-3 than salmon.
-[Ron] That's why I eat it.
-Yeah, yeah.
[Maya] But let's be honest.
-Salmon is delicious.
-[Dave] Salmon is delicious.
-[Maya] Are you sick of salmon?
-[Dave] I am sick of
I [stammers]
I think salmon should
It's a seasonal fish.
-[Maya] Is it?
-Yes.
-So we've overfished salmon, for sure.
-[Maya] Yes.
There used to be salmon
from the East Coast,
catch salmon in the Connecticut rivers,
but not anymore.
So a lot of, uh
I don't trust a lot of the salmon.
Put it that way.
I try to save my salmon,
either be frozen or the salmon season.
Chinook, king,
is one of my favorite times.
So, yeah. I don't like sockeye, chum,
any of the other
[Maya] What? Chinook king?
Chinook is the other way
to say "king salmon." Yeah.
[Maya] Okay. So one salmon season.
-I'll go to bed until
-I believe it's July to September.
-Oh, really?
-Yeah.
[Maya] That's really good to know.
[Chris] So I know
Dave just served one dessert,
but we happen to have stuff in the back.
-Ron, I know this was a family favorite.
-[Maya and Ron] Oh!
[speaks indistinctly]
Some Oreos and bacon.
And ironically, Maya,
we asked about your dessert preferences,
and we were told you will eat Oreos
but not with frosting.
-Correct.
-So we have prepared for you
-I don't even remember I said that.
-[Chris] Oreos.
-Sans frosting.
-[Maya] This is the better part.
-[Chris] Do you agree?
-It is. It's true.
I like to scrape, I like to
I know you disagree. Don't
I know you disagree.
I like to twist it, scrape it, chuck it,
and then eat it.
[Dave] We're a full-service shop here.
[stammers] We took it off.
Thank you. My
-My youngest daughter
-Oh, look at this.
-Look at this!
-Gosh, that's what I'm talking about.
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