Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e11 Episode Script

1
[ JAZZY THEME MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ WHISTLING ]
YEAH!
THE LAWN CHAIRS-ORBIT-EARTH
RIDE IS READY.
TICKET BOOTH READY.
PETTING ZOO A-OK!
THEY'LL PUSH, THEY'LL SHOVE,
THEY'LL PAY BIG BUCKS
TO COME TO OUR
ED-LAND!
I'D LIKE TO RUN A
PRELIMINARY TEST FIRST.
OOH, OOH! TEST THE PETTING ZOO!
HANG ONTO YOUR EYEBROW, ED.
OH, PET ME NOW!
THIS CHAIR STINKS.
Edd: YOU'RE TAMPERING WITH THE
LAWS OF WEIGHT AND BALANCE, EDDY.
EDDY?
[SIGH]
IGNORANCE MUST BE BLISS.
NOW WE'RE TALKING.
HEH HEH HEH
SHALL WE BEGIN, ED?
CONTACT!
OHH WHAT WAS THAT?
COME ON, MUSCLEHEAD, PUSH!
WHOA!
Eddy: WHOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
WHOOOOOOAAAAHHHH!
WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!
[CRASH]
MY TURN!
HOLY COW! GOOD PUSH, ED!
DID YOU SEE THAT CHAIR FLY?
WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?
HI, KEVIN!
OOF!
EDS! DON'T MOVE!
UH, SORRY, KEVIN.
WHILE TESTING OUR NEW RIDE,
WE DIDN'T ANTICIPATE THE
WEAK LINKAGE TO EDDY'S CHAIR
BUTTON YOU LIP!
WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?
UH DIDN'T YOU SEE THEM?
WHO?
THE MUCKYBOYS!
MUCKY BOYS?
YEAH. THEY WERE
DUMPED OFF BY A TORNADO,
AND RAISED BY
FIELD MICE IN A CAVE
NEAR THE CONSTRUCTION SITE.
AND THEY EAT THEIR
WEIGHT IN CHEESE,
AND THEY THROW
COMFORTABLE ARMCHAIRS
THROUGH THE AIR, AND SMACK!
INTO YOUR WINDOW.
BALONEY!
LOOK! THERE THEY GO!
- WHERE?
- THERE!
FREEZE, MUCKYBOYS!
HEH HEH HEH!
KEV'S SUCH A SAP.
MUCKYBOYS. I CRACK ME UP.
LET'S TEST THE PETTING ZOO.
Ed: MUCKYBOYS! OH, MUCKYBOYS!
OWW!
DID YOU SEE A FLYING
COMFORTABLE CHAIR?
EDDY, YOU SHOULD
HAVE TOLD THE TRUTH.
TRUTH, SCHMUTH!
WE'RE OFF THE HOOK, AREN'T WE?
COME HERE, QUICK!
CHECK OUT THE
FASHION SLAVES, GUYS.
Ed: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
JUST IGNORE THEM, JIMMY.
AND WHAT ARE OUR
HALF-PINT PYGMIES UP TO?
IF YOU MUST KNOW, WE'RE HUNTING.
YEAH.
FOR A BRAIN?
NO! THE MUCKYBOYS!
UM MUCKYBOYS?
YOU'VE HEARD OF
THEM, HAVEN'T YOU?
UH YEAH, SURE.
COME ON, JIMMY. KEVIN'S WAITING.
THHHHP!
LOOK OUT FOR FLYING CHAIRS!
WELL, EDDY, IT'S
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
TILL KEVIN FINDS OU
THE TRUTH ABOUT
NO PROBLEM. WE, THE EDS,
ARE SMARTER THAN ONIONS?
NO, ED.
WE'RE SMARTER THAN
BUTTERED TOAST?
Edd: OH, BOY.
A BUS DRIVER?
[CLANGS]
NO MUCKIES HERE.
YOU FIND ANYTHING, ROLF?
Rolf: NOT YET, KEVIN.
WHOOP!
I MUST HAVE SILENCE!
[SQUISH]
THE SOIL SPEAKS TO ME.
IT TELLS ME: "ROLF"
"THE MUCKYBOYS ARE 50
PACES TOWARDS THE SUN
COOKING BEETS."
ARE YOU SURE?
FOOLISH YOUTH.
THE SOIL KNOWS ALL.
ALL RIGHT, FOLLOW ME.
THEY'VE ALL FALLEN FOR IT.
EDDY, WOULDN'T I
BE EASIER IF WE JUST
MAKE FUNNY NOISES?
ED! YOU'VE FOUND A BRAIN!
MUCKYBOYS MAKE
LOUD, FUNNY NOISES.
OOH OOH OOH!
OOGH! OOGH!
OOOOGAAA!
SHHHHHH!
HEE HEE HEE!
[GRRRRR]
WE HAVE ANGERED THE MUCKYBOYS!
AAH!
HELP! HELP!
WHEN I SEE MUCKY,
I'll BELIEVE MUCKY.
OUT OF MY WAY!
Kids: OWW! AWW
COME ON, JIMMY.
GEE, THAT HURT.
HA HA HA!
OOH HEH HEH
HEH OHH WHOA!
ED, YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE.
NICE FACEPRINT.
Ed: FINE HEAD!
I KNOW WHAT WILL
FIX KEV! FOOTPRINTS!
LOOK! MUCKYFEET!
HMM
WHOA! YEAH!
THOSE ARE MUCKYFEET!
EDDY, THIS IS BECOMING
A VERY COMPLICATED
OK, ED, STOMP DOWN
TO THE OLD DRAINPIPE.
UHHH HOW AM I DOING, EDDY?
Edd: OH, BOY.
UH WHERE'S EDDY, DOUBLE-D?
STUCK TO YOUR FOO
LIKE AN OLD GUM WRAPPER.
HEY, EDDY, WE'RE HERE.
BINGO! THIS IS PERFEC
FOR THE MUCKYBOYS' CAVE!
IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY HYGIENIC.
WAY COOL!
[WHIMPERING]
LOOK AT THE SIZE
OF THIS FOOTPRINT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN FEET THIS BIG
SINCE MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER.
LET'S FOLLOW THEM.
THE MUCKYBOYS ARE SMART.
I'VE LOST THEIR TRAIL
IN THIS POOL OF WATER.
THIS WILL TOTALLY THROW
KEVIN OFF OUR BACK.
EDDY, THE AUTHENTICITY OF
"THE CAVE" IS QUITE QUESTIONABLE.
IF WE JUST TELL
KEVIN I FOUND A BONE!
COOL, HUH?
Kevin: LET'S CHECK
THIS PLACE OUT.
HEY, IT'S KEVIN!
QUICK, DOUBLE-D! WE
NEED TO VANISH FAST!
IT SAYS "COVERS IN ONE COAT."
[GULP]
Rolf: IT'S THE MUCKYBOYS' CAVE.
OOOOH! WOW! AHHHH!
THEIR HIDEOUS
SCENT IS EVERYWHERE.
DO YOU SMELL IT?
IT SMELLS LIKE MY
BROTHER'S FEET!
I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN A MUCKYBOY.
[WHIMPERS]
COME ON, JIMMY.
WE'RE FALLING BEHIND.
OK, OK.
THESE SHOES ARE
PINCHING MY FEET.
OH!
HMM PAINT CAN
AND CAVE PAINTINGS.
THIS PAINT'S STILL WET!
COME ON, JIMMY!
I SMELL SOMETHING
OTHER THAN MUCKYBOYS.
EDDY, SARAH KNOWS!
IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME!
Ed: MY EYES ARE STUCK!
I CAN'T OPEN THEM!
OPEN YOUR EYES, ED.
THANKS, EDDY.
IF IT'S MUCKYBOYS KEVIN WANTS,
THEN IT'S MUCKYBOYS KEVIN GETS.
Kevin: COME ON, ROLF,
HOW MUCH LONGER?
Rolf: MY FATHER
WALKED 100 MILES.
WITH A MULE, TWO DOGS,
AND THE SHOE ON HIS BACK.
Sarah: BIG DEAL.
THEY'RE COMING, EDDY!
PUT THIS ON.
EDDY, THIS MUD IS FILTHY!
GET OVER IT, DOUBLE-D. CATCH!
CATCH?
OH, DEAR.
WAAA!
THE MUCKYBOYS LIVE!
YEAH.
MUCKYBOYS!
UHH!
EDDY, I DESPERATELY
NEED TO WASH.
COULD WE PLEASE END THIS?
AAAAH!
BE SCARY, DOUBLE-D.
[GRRRRRRR]
OH, I'M PETRIFIED.
Rolf: HERE! WE MUS
CLIMB OUT HERE!
WHOA!
WHOOOAAAAH!
ROLF IS TOO STRONG
FOR HIS OWN GOOD.
[YELLING GIBBERISH]
MUCKYBOYS!
AWOOOGA!
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
YOU GUYS OWE ME A WINDOW!
I'M GONE!
I MUST WANDER TO EAT.
SARAH? OH, SARAH?
[WHIMPERS]
ATTACK!
MUCKY! MUCKY! MUCKY! MUCKY!
MUCKY! AAAAH!
MUCKY! MUCKY! MUCKY!
OH, ED!
HUH?
MOM SAYS YOU'VE GO
TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
NOT NOW, SARAH. WE'RE PLAYING.
AAH!
HUH?
HA!
YOU'VE GOT THE BIGGEST MOUTH!
AAH! STOP! STOP IT!
Sarah: THERE'S YOUR "MUCKYBOYS."
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
OK, ED.
SHOW'S OVER. TAKE 5.
[GRRRR]
MUCKYBOYS PRETTY
FUNNY, HUH, KEV?
[GRRRR]
HUH?
[GRRRR]
UH [GRRRRRRR]
WELL, EDDY,
THIS ALL COULD HAVE
BEEN AVOIDED IF WE
MY NOSE IS ITCHY.
SO SCRATCH IT.
SCRATCH IT FOR ME, EDDY.
GET AWAY FROM ME.
WELL, ED, I COULD HAVE
SCRATCHED IT FOR YOU,
BUT I'M A LITTLE
PREOCCUPIED AT THE MOMENT.
SCRATCH MY NOSE!
SHUT UP, ED!
LOOK, PLANK, KEVIN
WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.
AHEM
Kevin: JONNY, LEAVE THEM ALONE.
LET THEM STEW IN THEIR OWN MUCK.
HEH HEH HEH HA HA HA HA HA!
[WHISPERS] Psst, Eddy
There's a hammer in the cake.
COMING, KEVIN!
THE HAMMER'S OBVIOUSLY
CONTAMINATED THE
CAKE!
AAH!
AHH, MY ITCH IS GONE.
ED, IT'S ON YOUR FACE.
WHAT'S ON MY FACE?
THE HAMMER!
A TARANTULA!
AAH! GET IT OFF, EDDY!
QUICK, QUICK!
EDDY, GET IT OFF!
AHH
HMM
OH, HAPPY DAY!
OH
HMM [CLANG]
OH THERE MUS
HAVE BEEN A SALE.
I HATE NEW CLOTHES.
I LOVE CANOES.
LET'S GO BREAK THEM IN.
FOLLOW ME.
UHH! AAH!
LOOK AT ME! HA HA!
ED!
ME!
WHOO!
HA HA HA!
HEH HEH HEH.
Eddy: OK, DOUBLE-D,
COUGH THEM UP.
OH UH, I'M FINE,
EDDY, REALLY.
I LIKE MY NEW CLOTHES.
YEAH, RIGHT.
HA HA HA HA!
READY, ED?
I PRACTICED, EDDY.
SPLASH, SQUASH, SPLASH
I HAD A GERBIL LIKE HIM ONCE.
WHY IS ED ACTING LIKE
A WASHING MACHINE?
GIVE IT UP, DOUBLE-D.
EDDY!
OH, DEAR.
I'M MIXING MY COLORS
WITH MY WHITES.
THINK OF THE MONEY WE COULD MAKE
DOING EVERYBODY'S CLOTHES!
I'D RATHER NOT.
AAH!
SPLASH, SQUASH, SPLASH BING!
SPIN CYCLE!
YEEEEOOOOW!
BING!
WASHER OFF!
THEY SHOULD BE
NICE AND COMFY NOW.
LOOK! STAIN'S GONE!
[EMBARRASSED LAUGH]
NO BIG DEAL.
OUR OLD CLOTHES ARE WAY BETTER.
AHEM, NO, EDDY, BETTER.
"OUR OLD CLOTHES
ARE MUCH BETTER."
BUG YOU, BUMPKIN?
OOF!
[GULP]
[PINCH]
HA HA HA HA!
AAH!
AND THAT IS HOW TO SAVE THE
HELPLESS KITTY FROM A TREE.
EASY 1, 2, 3!
THANK YOU, SPORT EDDY!
AAH!
WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT!
HEY, JONNY BOY! HUH?
HOW DOES A SQUIR
LIKE YOU END UP
WITH SUCH A COOL UNIFORM?
I SEE YOU LIKE JONNY'S
UNIFORM, BIGMOUTH EDDY.
WOULD YOU AND
YOUR FELLOW ED BOYS
LIKE TO WEAR OUR UNIFORM?
COME. I INVITE YOU TO THE
PRIVILEGE TO EARN ONE BADGE.
AND YOU, TOO, WILL
BECOME URBAN RANGERS.
BUT I LIKE BEING ED.
ONE BADGE FOR A COOL UNIFORM?
IT'S A STEAL!
TELL US WHAT TO DO, ROLFIE BOY!
OH, DEAR. A NEW NEUROSIS.
IS IT FUN YET?
HEE HEE HEE!
KIND OF FRILLY, AIN'T IT?
THAT SCARF MAKES
YOU A WEE ROACH.
JUST LIKE PLANK.
WE WERE WEE ROACHES
UNTIL WE GOT OUR BADGES.
SEE?
THE LIGHT BULB CHANGING BADGE,
GARBAGE BAG REPLACEMENT BADGE,
CLOTHESPIN ALIGNMENT BADGE,
AND LAUNDRY SORTING BADGE.
Rolf: LINE UP AND
PRESENT YOURSELVES.
SO YOU MAY EARN A NEW BADGE.
LOOK, WEE ROACHES
THE DON'T-BUG-ME-I'M-
IN-THE-HAMMOCK BADGE.
YES! GO NOW!
HEE HEE!
THE HAMMOCK BADGE IS IN THE BAG.
NOW REMEMBER, ED,
EQUAL WEIGHT IS THE KEY.
I AM THE KING OF THE JUNGLE!
HEY, GORILLA I GO
A BANANA FOR YOU.
ED WANT BANANA!
AAH! AAH!
UHH!
[CRASH]
GOOD WORK, URBAN RANGER
JIMMY. A NEW BADGE FOR YOU.
HEE HEE HEE!
AND FOR YOU, URBAN RANGER JONNY.
VERY GOOD OVER-UNDER JOB.
Eddy: OK! OUR TURN!
[SLURP]
HO HO! THERE ARE NO BADGES
FOR SNEAKY WEE ROACHES.
HEY! WE'RE IN THE HAMMOCK,
JUST LIKE THOSE GUYS! WHAT?
NEXT BADGE!
THE TRIMMING OF THE
HEDGE BADGE IS IMPORTANT.
IT SAYS, "LOOK A
ME! I AM A HOTSHOT!"
TRIMMING SHEARS ARE
IMPORTANT FOR THIS.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE
HEAD OF THE MONSTER
I WAS A TEENAGE APPETIZER
FROM PLANET SUSHI
THE SECOND COMING.
NO SHEARS FOR YOU,
POTATO HEAD BOY.
HEE HEE HEE!
THEY WILL BE SO JEALOUS.
EDDY? COULD YOU TRY AND BE
MORE PRECISE WITH YOUR SNIPS?
MY TURN! MY TURN!
PLEASE START ON
THE OTHER END, ED!
DISTRACTIONS, DISTRACTIONS
UH-HUH A-HA!
ENJOY YOUR NEW BADGE, JIMMY.
THANK YOU, ROLF.
YES, PLANK. THAT'S GOOD.
IT'S IN THE BAG, BOYS.
HA HA HA HA!
[WHISTLING]
AAH!
HOW'S THAT LOOK?
Rolf: WEE ROACHES!
YOU ARE TRYING MY PATIENCE,
AND THAT IS NOT GOOD,
AS I AM THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.
NEXT BADGE
ESCORTING THE ELDERLY
ACROSS THE STREE
SHOULD BE AS EASY AS
COMBING PAPA'S BACK HAIR.
I'M INTO EASY.
WHERE'S THE
BADGE-BEARING GERIATRIC?
MY NANA WAS TOO
BUSY FRYING WEEDS,
BUT TRENDY NAZZ GIRL
AGREED TO TAKE HER PLACE.
HI, GUYS.
[GIGGLES]
[GULP]
UH, ED?
YOU'RE UP, PAL.
UH, DOUBLE-D WANTS TO.
AW HA HA!
WEE ROACH EDDY,
FINISH THIS TASK
BEFORE NIGHTFALL.
COME AND MAKE YOUR TURN.
SURE YEAH [NERVOUS LAUGH]
ARE YOU GOING TO HOLD MY HAND?
OK.
WATCH YOUR STEP.
THERE YOU GO, NAZZ.
BOY, EDDY, YOUR
HAND IS SO SWEATY.
BUT YOU DID GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
BUT WEE ROACH ED IS NOT NANA.
NO BADGE.
NEXT BADGE, THE
HOT FOOT BURRITO.
MICROWAVED PROPERLY WILL
EARN YOU URBAN RANGER COAT.
HERE, DOUBLE-D.
THIS IS MORE YOUR BAG.
HMM
"CUT SMALL HOLE IN PACKAGE."
CHECK.
"MICROWAVE AT MEDIUM
HEAT FOR ONE MINUTE."
HA HA HA HA WHAT'S
TAKING SO LONG?
LET'S PUT IT INTO HIGH GEAR.
NOW WE'RE TALKING!
IS IT READY?
[RUMBLE]
AAAAAAH!
HAVE YOU ROACHES BEEN
DRINKING MILK FROM A RUSTY BUCKET?
YOU HAVE SPOILED A
WONDERFUL FOOD PRODUCT!
SUCH WASTE AND DISRESPEC
TO THE FAST FOOD STORES
IS NOT ALLOWED IN
THE URBAN RANGERS!
[SIGH]
WHOA!
BUT SEEING YOU COVERED IN FILTH
REMINDS ME OF MY YOUTH.
NEXT BADGE GRAVY!
ROLF, I REALLY NEED TO WASH.
ALL RIGHT, WEE ROACHES.
THIS ONE IS EASY.
I CAN DO THIS ONE!
THIS EMPTY ROLL MUST BE REPLACED
WITH A NEW ONE.
YOU REPLACE THOSE?
WHAT A CINCH.
YOU JUST LIFT AND
SLIDE OFF THE OLD ONE.
DOUBLE-D?
OH, MY.
RUNAWAY PAPER HOLDER!
HA HA HA!
I GOT IT!
ALLOW ME, EDDY!
Rolf: WEE ROACHES! NO BADGE!
EVER!
ROLF, WAIT! HOLD IT.
THOSE ED BOYS ARE
CRAZY LIKE CHICKENS,
EXCEPT THEY LAY NO EGGS.
AH, CANDIED BEETS
TO CALM MY NERVES.
Eddy: LOOK, ROLF
PLEASE GIVE US ONE MORE CHANCE.
PLEASE!
YES. ONE MORE CHANCE.
NOW LET ME FINISH MY BEET.
HEH HEH HEH
THIS IS VERY EASY, WISEGUY EDDY.
I GOT IT, ROLF.
I JUST HAVE TO BE
A GOOD NEIGHBOR,
AND I'll GET A BADGE.
PIECE OF CAKE.
REMEMBER, EDDY,
MIND YOUR MANNERS.
[ENCOURAGING GIBBERISH]
GOOD AFTERNOON, NEIGHBOR.
I BAKED YOU A PIE AND
HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?
REMEMBER, EDDY, MANNERS.
IT'S OUR LAST CHANCE!
SO!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CAN'T YOU TALK?
ARE YOU A BABY?
[GRITS TEETH] I
BAKED YOU A PIE AND
"MY NAME IS EDDY,
AND I WEAR A BIG,
STINKY DIAPER!"
[GRITS TEETH] HELLO, NEIGHBOR.
I JUST THOUGHT
"GOO, GOO, GOO!"
EXCUSE ME, NEIGHBOR
AW, IS BABY GOING TO CRY?
DOES BABY WANT HIS BOTTLE?
SHUT UP, SARAH!
Rolf: EDDIE!
NO WEE ROACH! NO URBAN RANGER!
NO BADGE!
MMM HOW ABOUT ANOTHER CHANCE?
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
WHEE!
HEH HEH HEH HERE GOES.
[DRUM ROLL]
AW
HA HA!
YOU HAVE BESMIRCHED THE
NAME OF THE URBAN RANGERS
AND ARE SENTENCED
TO THE WALK OF SHAME!
RANGER JONNY, BRING MY LARD!
HERE YOU GO, ROLF.
AND HERE'S YOUR
LARD-BRINGING BADGE.
COOL!
WHOA!
AAAAAAAH!
NOT GOOD!
HA HA HA!
[DRUM ROLL]
AAAAAH!
♪♪
ED, EDD, AND EDDY!
YEAH!