Eureka s01e11 Episode Script

111 - H.O.U.S.E. Rules

Previously on Eureka.
All this secrecy isn't healthy.
I suggest instead, you start talking to each other.
I thought I would give you a few issues to discuss.
Allison Blake.
Oh, crap! You're a dead woman! I'm all yours, princess.
Like your problem with Carter is strictly professional.
I hate the way he looks at you.
Oh, I don't look at her.
Oh, please, like a shark-eyeing chum.
Really? Am I supposed to ignore that Mayberry's hitting on my wife? Soon to be "ex.
" You do realize I'm standing right here? Don't the two of you ever get tired of bickering? Not really.
All anyone around here does is feed on me.
It's time for me to leave Eureka.
Warning! System overload! Warning! System overload! Warning! System overload! Yeah! Yeah, I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
In fact, you've the right to remain silent.
Anything you say Carter, what are you doing? My job, and you're welcome.
Can and will be used against you in a court of law.
And he was doing his job, working on a classified project.
Which was what? To atomize your facility, huh? A little help, Allison.
I'm sorry, Carter.
Technically, he hasn't broken any laws.
Un-cuff him, Sheriff.
Right.
You know what? Here, do it yourself.
And the next time one of your braniacs tries to blow up your building, don't think I'm going to stop him.
In fact, I might help.
SARAH, beer! Morning.
Nice hair.
Thanks.
I've been working on it all night.
Shouldn't you be at school? Shouldn't you be at work? Nope.
It's a sick day.
Your vitaI signs seem normaI, Sheriff.
I don't detect that you're sick.
But I am sick.
I'm sick of saving a man that I can't stand.
I'm sick of nobody saying "thank you," and I'm sick of this ridiculous town, and everyone in it.
Well, aren't you in a mood? Mmm-hmm.
SARAH, fill it.
Breakfast of champions.
Mmm-hmm.
And go to school, already.
You're ruining my sick day.
Okay, what is this about? This isn't just about you being pissed at Stark.
I don't even want to hear that name, so that's a new house rule.
And, FYl, last night's catastrophe gave me some clarity.
About? I think Henry's got the right idea.
You know, getting while the getting's good? Dad, are you serious? Do you know what's going to happen to this town when he leaves? He's the glue and I'm the one who's gonna have to pick up all the pieces.
So I don't know.
I think he should stay.
Is that what this is really about? Henry leaving? Go on.
You're going to be late for school.
Is it okay to leave you alone? - No - Yeah! I'm gonna be fine.
And I'm sick, until further notice.
SARAH? I need you to do a property search for Baja.
Are you planning a vacation? Yeah, maybe a permanent one.
Any plans today? Perhaps a shower? I do that everyday, and today is Another sick day? Bingo! So, let's go bottom left.
Enlarge.
Oh, that's a nice house.
That suits me, the new me.
Projected models of rising sea levels and coastaI erosion suggest this property to be a bad investment.
Oh, right.
How about that upper right? A lawless border town with the highest per capita crime rate in Mexico.
Criminals are rarely apprehended or prosecuted.
Sounds familiar.
Okay.
Let's try CancĂșn.
You're mine! Oh, crap.
In your face.
Three rounds to none.
We never discussed grenades! War is hell, my defeated foe.
Jo? You, you dropped a clip.
Not cool.
My pager went off.
Mine, too.
War is hell.
Here you go, Allison.
Thank you.
Fargo.
Since you won't shower, shall I mist you with vanilla? No.
Is that our door? Oh! Meaty meat with extra meat? And triple cheese? Nice! Bring the bad boy over here.
Thank you.
Money's right over there.
I faiI to see the wisdom of consuming pizza after cereaI and beer.
Oh, would you stop nagging me, woman? Dude, is that your wife? Might as well be, yeah.
Hey, what's this? It's a hockey stick.
No, it's Dodgers.
World Series.
I'm more of a Sudoku kind of guy.
Hey, can I use your can? Sure.
Yeah, just over there.
Cool.
door.
Okay, I'm here.
Yeah, you are.
You paged me.
No, I didn't.
You said it was urgent, possibly classified.
Sheriff, I got here as quickly as I could.
Okay, why? You're depressed.
I'm not depressed.
"Come quick, very depressed, Carter.
" I know I asked you to install a doorbell, but just disconnect it.
Do you know your phone isn't working? What's up? What's going on, Sheriff? Let me guess.
I paged all of you? That we know.
No, you don't, 'cause I didn't.
Well, if you didn't, who did? Beats me.
Love to.
Hey, buddy, you got a plunger? Oh, just get out! All of you! I just want to spend the day on the couch, and it's obviously a prank, so SARAH, door.
I'm sorry, Jack.
I'm afraid I can't do that.
Why not? Because Eureka is facing imminent disaster.
what imminent disaster? Is it a hurricane? An earthquake? Disharmony.
The threads of human congruity are unraveling.
It has already led to Dr.
Deacon's decision to leave Eureka.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Henry leaving Eureka doesn't mean we're facing imminent disaster.
I mean, no offense, Henry.
No offense taken.
My projected models suggest that each person in this room plays a vitaI role in securing Eureka's future.
Or negating it.
Wait, you paged us? You left me no choice.
There is a high probability that Dr.
Deacon's decision to relocate will precipitate a series of catastrophic events, beginning with the fact that Sheriff Carter has begun to question his commitment to Eureka, as well.
No, he hasn't.
What about vacation homes? It was a fantasy.
It's a really good fantasy.
Yeah.
According to my projections,if interpersonaI conflicts cause both men to leave, the outcome is disaster, and each of you will share responsibility for that.
His cell phone's not working.
And you're speeding.
You saw Carter's page.
It's an emergency.
Okay, and I don't want to be the emergency, so keep it under 60.
You sound like my mum.
"Keep it under 60, keep it under 60.
" No, I don't.
You do.
I can't get out, so I assume no one else can either.
Cans don't work.
No.
I think maybe you're reading too much into this.
We're not in conflict.
Really? Henry, no community is always in perfect harmony.
Issues come up, living in a small town, working closely together.
Too small.
Too closely.
What are you implying? What are you inferring? Maybe she's implying what SARAH's inferring? That this might be an opportunity to clear the air.
I think more air has been cleared recently than anyone ever wanted, don't you? I think we all said and did things we regret under the influence of that pollen.
Yes, but no one else broadcast everyone else's secrets to the entire town.
You're right, and I've already apologized for that.
I know that.
I just I need some water.
Yeah.
No conflict here.
Nah.
All right, this has been fun.
Fargo, where's the back door? There's a back door? Not that I've found.
No, no, a hacking back door, a hidden code programmed in the computer allowing access to its brain.
Fargo, please tell me you laid in a back door.
I'd really, really like to.
Sometimes your lack of foresight is astonishing.
But the intention is admirable.
There's gotta be another way out of here.
It's a waste of time.
Tell him, Fargo.
I'm not telling him that.
I'm in enough trouble.
Well, then tell him to make my bed while he's up there.
He might as well do something productive.
Hey, what's this? Nothing.
Gotta go.
Carter needs us.
You designed a paintball battle plan? Give me that.
You know, you are in clear violation of the paintball rules of engagement.
Me? You've got a regiment of splatter-bots ready to assault my rear flank.
You'll know when I assault your rear flank.
Did you tuck my sheets in real tight? Henry, please, just change your mind so we can all get the hell out of here.
Yeah.
I can sit on my couch.
I haven't changed my mind.
Maybe you could just pretend.
I'm pretty sure that SARAH can hear you guys.
Why are you leaving, Henry? Because our work has become about results, instead of discovery.
You don't get funding for discovery unless someone is producing results.
That's an ugly shortsighted system.
I mean, Fargo turns a relic of war into something beautiful and life affirming and then gets chastised because it's actually trying to help us avert disaster.
He got chastised because it's holding us hostage.
Fine.
You know what? I didn't sign up for any of this.
No.
Me neither.
Oh! Hey, SARAH! It's Jo! You wanna let her in? Jo? Jo! Jo, we're trapped! Fargo SARAH's gone HAL on us.
Get us out of here! She can't hear you.
But I can.
Sheriff Carter does not wish to be disturbed.
He's feeling ill.
I know, but he paged us.
It must have been sent in error.
let her in.
I believe one of you may try to exploit the opportunity to leave.
No, we won't.
Right? No, we won't.
No.
Jo, we're trapped! SARAH's gone HAL on us.
Get us out of here! When I'm stressed, my subtext comes out as text.
Fargo, do you want me to duct-tape shut your mouth? No! SARAH? I'm opening the COM line, Sheriff.
Hey! Carter, you all right? You 911'd me.
Yeah.
False alarm.
Just feeling really sick.
Then why all the company? What company? It's just me and SARAH.
You having some kind of party? No, no, no, no party.
Just trying to get some rest.
So, thanks for checking in on me, Josefina.
Okay.
See you tomorrow, Jack.
Good one.
That's your name? Josefina? And a very pretty name it is, too.
Don't call me Josefina.
Nobody calls me Josefina.
I can't believe he called me Josefina.
Oh, I heard.
Something's wrong.
This house has a force field? Well, technically there's no such thing.
It's a monofilament electrified mesh, which forms a near-invisible barrier.
How is that not a force field? SARAH? Why isn't she responding to the Sheriff? SARAH? She's unhappy.
No, I'm unhappy.
You all ruined my sick day.
And SARAH feels your pain.
The overriding concept behind a Smart House is to bond with its owner.
Oh, yeah? Bad house! Bad! Sheriff, I don't see how shaming your house could possibly help.
Oh, no.
Not my house, Stark's house.
He built it.
Not my house, Fargo's house.
He built it.
Didn't build it.
I reprogrammed it and jazzed it up a little.
So, this is Fargo's fault? Yes, Henry.
I put my faith in him, like I put my faith in you.
And I'm a little disappointed with the outcome.
Faith goes both ways, Nathan, as does disappointment.
Stop it.
Can we forget whose house it is and figure out how to get out of it? Taggart, we're like, a mile away from where we need to be.
It's the nearest access point.
Trust me.
Jo, please, you're not gonna be able to Need a hand? I'm good.
Step back.
Careful! First step's a bitch.
Looks like the men are trying to save us.
We may be here for a while.
I just want to get the hell out of here.
Look, Allison, I really am sorry.
I just It just takes time, you know? What part exactly? What do you mean? I mean, are you upset because I told or because it's possible I was right? Well, can't we just cut the power? Not without cutting off the air supply and locking the door for good.
We need dynamite.
God, I wish Lupo were here.
That's it.
We'll just blow her up.
She's not here.
Whoa.
A labyrinth of interconnecting tunnels, housing Eureka's sewage system, gas, electrical, plumbing, fiber optics That's a lot of pipe.
She's a beauty.
More deceptive than the kelp forests of Tasmania.
More malodorous than the sulfur springs of Waiotapu.
You spend a lot of time down here? More than I bargained for.
I chased down cunning predators that escaped from Global Dynamics.
Musculus barilius.
English? Smart mice.
IQ's through the roof.
Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks.
How'd you catch them? Smart cheese.
Though the female of the species proved to be much more clever than the male.
Just like humans.
Rightio.
Follow my lead.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I believe I'm the ranking officer here.
You follow my lead.
Fair dinkum.
Which way? I know which way I would go.
Which way would you go? Exactly the way I would've gone.
Okay.
Hey, you sure about this? If we can create a power surge on one grid, we may throw SARAH offline.
Or electrocute ourselves.
Everyone, watch your distance.
Okay.
Come on.
SARAH.
; Nathan? What are you doing, Nathan? And on three, two, one.
I am detecting a surge in the electricaI system.
Warning! Overload! I am detecting a surge in the electricaI system Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, you did it! In a town full of super geniuses, why is it that the pizza guy's the only guy with the presence of mind to walk out the door? SARAH, have you lost your mind? SARAH's not here.
Adopting and initializing SARAH's primary objective now.
What the hell is that? What the hell is We can't hear you! The partition must be soundproof.
Great.
What is that? I am BRAD.
BRAD? I hope to God Fargo didn't program SARAH on top of BRAD.
You built SARAH on top of BRAD? Al's are often built on top of the programming of older generation Al's.
I just figured since BRAD was an abandoned project BRAD was programmed as a military interrogation Al.
Battle Reactive Automatic Defense.
Doesn't exactly feel like he's defending us.
No, he had his own interpretation of defense.
The best defense is a good offense.
where's SARAH? Detainees have no rights.
Initiating phase two protocols to achieve primary objective, remorse and reconciliation.
Oh, that doesn't sound good.
No.
You don't have a clue, do you? Labyrinth.
Do you have a clue, Josefina? Oh, it sounds prettier every time I hear it.
You get one free pass.
That was it.
I'm picking up a scent.
Sewage? Yeah, but mixed with the aroma of highly seasoned meat.
Pepperoni.
No, sausage.
Exhaust from the bunker.
This way.
No! Shatter resistant.
Why? BRAD's turned on the AC? If by AC you mean Arctic conditions, then yes.
It must be a 100 degrees in here.
Hotter.
We're gonna die.
Way to be reassuring, Fargo.
Down.
Oh, my God.
BRAD's releasing the fire-suppression system.
Argonite? Yeah, which means that if we don't shut if off, we'll suffocate.
Intruder alert! Intruder alert! There's my Josefina.
Oh! Or not.
Who the hell Or what the hell? All the time I've spent down here, never seen sensor-cams before.
Must be linked to the bunker's defense system.
Oh, crikey! Look at them all! Well, lucky we're both hunters.
For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble.
There could be a control unit behind this panel.
Something funny, Henry? I'm just appreciating the irony of our situation.
Which would be what? Well, I'm leaving Eureka because I'm tired of watching noble ideas being turned into weapons, and here we are Here we are, at the mercy of a weapon that had been turned into a noble idea.
Well, that's the way the system works.
One doesn't exist without the other.
Spoken like a true bureaucrat.
You know, I'm getting really tired of the remarks, Henry.
Well, you won't have to put up with them much longer, will you? No, no that's true.
'Cause you're bailing out on me.
Of all my students, you were the one that had the potential to do anything.
But you chose to do the administrative shuffle, management, defense contracts, political glad-handing.
I mean, you could've furthered science in so many ways.
But you chose to further your career.
How can someone with such a high IQ be so clueless? Henry, you don't get to do what you do, unless someone like me does what I do.
Do you think it's easy shielding you from the politics, so you can work the way you want to work? You think I was popular bringing you to Eureka in the first place? I didn't ask to be brought here.
No.
No, you'd given up.
You were persona non grata, Henry, because you didn't work well within the system.
Well, I ignored that, because of my respect for you as a scientist and as a mentor and as a friend.
Idealists don't get much done without a few pragmatists running interference for them.
So, get off your moral high horse.
Is the system perfect? No.
It's political and ugly and compromising.
But in spite of that, I feel we still do more good than harm.
And you, of all people, should appreciate that.
You leave now, Henry, and you're part of the problem.
Not the solution.
I can't believe I've survived holes in time and Cold War death raids, just to freeze to death in my own damn house Bunker.
Don't say that.
We're gonna get out of this.
Sure.
And then Stark will step in and give everybody permission to do whatever the hell they want, and then it'll start all over again.
Come on, Carter, the whole point of Eureka is to push the envelope.
It's just The reason I do what I do I mean, the reason I chose my job was to make a difference.
I don't think I can do that here.
You have made a difference to a lot of people.
You've made a difference to me.
So, are you just gonna leave? I don't know.
Well, for the record, you do what's right, and people admire that.
And that is what makes a difference.
I don't want other people's admiration.
What do you want? Well, I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit what I want.
But in the meantime, I'll settle for you putting your arms around me and holding on tight, so I can maybe regain some sensation in the lower extremities.
I can do that.
Okay.
Oh, crap! If I'm right, this leads directly to the Smart House.
And if you're wrong? I'll release an unending torrent of raw sewage upon us.
Superior species, huh? I got it! I got it! I got it! You don't.
Move.
Paint might lube it up.
You got a better idea? I do, actually.
Yeah.
It's gonna take the strength of three men.
I figure you're good for two.
Grab my butt, yeah? Sorry.
One, two, three.
Come on, Jo, give it some welly.
Get ready for stinky.
After you.
No, no.
Go ahead.
No, you first.
No, really.
I insist.
Go.
Beauty before brawn.
I've got to get out of this dress.
Fargo, please, turn around.
Okay, sure.
Oh, my God! Fargo, I said please don't look.
You have to hug me.
What? Trust me.
BRAD's not trying to torture us.
He's trying to kill us.
No, he's trying to defeat us.
Come here.
What are you doing? All BRAD's phase two battle simulations ended in either a complete annihilation or unconditional surrender.
He just had to win.
Which means you and I need to get along.
I was wrong, Nathan.
I'm sorry.
No, Henry.
I was wrong.
Oh, wow.
That's just wrong.
what are we doing? Making love, not war.
I'm sorry, Fargo.
Even if we're gonna die, it's never gonna happen.
Not literally.
we surrender.
I repeat, unconditional surrender.
Fargo! Fargo, we're free.
Let go.
What happened? Phase two disengages upon unconditional surrender.
Well done, Fargo.
Thanks, Dr.
Stark.
That's it? That's it.
I wish therapy were that easy.
Then again, if everyone's issues could really be resolved with a hug, I'd be out of business.
Do you hear that? What's that? BRAD.
; Phase three.
You have surrendered under false pretenses.
I think he heard you.
I'm sorry.
What's happening? He's extracting our oxygen.
I'm really sorry.
Once oxygen levels fall below 17% we'll be experiencing hypoxia, oxygen deprivation.
Or could we cover all the air vents? Yeah.
That'll probably slow down the vacuum.
So, grab paper, anything, to cover the vents.
This'll work.
No, not the Jeremiah Harm.
you were saying before about cutting off the power? Yeah, that it would be bad because it would cut off the air supply.
Yeah, seeing as we're all losing air anyway, let's reassess that option.
Yes, if we shut down the power, maybe that'll stop BRAD from sucking out all the oxygen.
where's the generator? It's not your typical generator.
Oh, wow.
What the hell is that? An RTG.
Radioisotope thermoelectric generator.
I live with a nuclear reactor? Generator.
Same one they use on the Cassini space probe.
It's clean, safe.
Safe? Yeah, like Chernobyl.
Right, why don't we turn the nukey thingy off? There is no off switch.
In order to take it offline, you'd have to remove the thermocouples from the ESP power conduits.
The conduits are in carbon steel encasements.
And even if we could access them, by shutting it down without the proper tools we could cause a release of the plutonium dioxide.
And Chernobyl? Right Well, technically? No.
Lethal? Yeah.
I reckon we're right under the bunker.
I didn't see a camera.
Yeah, well, if you wait till you can see them, that means they've seen you.
Beauty before beast.
And a beauty she is.
I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble.
No, you're not.
No, I'm not, but thank you for all your bad behavior.
I should've taken advantage of you while I had the chance.
Well, if we get out of here What's that? Oh, my God.
It's coming from the floor.
Okay.
It's Morse code.
Jo and Taggart? They're in the subsystem.
Okay, what do we tell them? Tell them to sever the outtake conduit.
Sever it? To interrupt the vacuum flow.
You do realize we'll die before I Morse all that.
Crack pipe.
Crack pipe.
Two words I never thought I'd hear from your mouth.
Crack pipe? Oh, crack pipe.
Okay, which pipe? Pick one.
Oh, God, what is that smell? Air flow.
From the bowels of the bunker.
I guess that's why they call them the bowels.
We did it! Good on you, mate! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Too late, BRAD.
Eliminate intruder! Eliminate intruder! No! Zoe! Everybody, move.
Carter, what are you doing? Jack! No! You could kill yourself! Zoe! Carter, are you all right? Yeah, I'm all right.
Is she okay? Zoe? I don't know.
SARAH? What's going on? Is this some kind of house arrest? What is that? It's a diesel generator powering up.
It must be the original back up system.
Back up systems engaged.
what's happened to Zoe? Show me Zoe! All right, I know I should have paid for it.
But I was in a hurry.
Disengage hostile activity.
Okay, she's all right.
I feel sick.
Is it the radiation? I doubt it.
It didn't even crack the housing.
So, no Chernobyl? Nope.
You beat the hell out of the RTG and your World Series bat.
I can live with that.
Dad? No, don't close the door! Zoe, don't What's going on? Oh, so you're allowed to have parties and I'm not.
Come here.
I almost lost you.
Eureka is still facing imminent disaster.
You all need to stay here and resolve your issues.
what's going on? I just want you to be happy, Sheriff Carter.
Do you? This isn't a malfunction, is it? Well, you're angry.
You're upset about something.
Well, we've all aired our dirty laundry, time for you to come clean.
I have done all the laundry and folded it as well.
That's not what I But thank you.
Oh, wait.
You want me to be happy, because I was going to leave? Just like Fargo left you, and BRAD got left before that.
And whatever the hell it was before that.
It was a war game simulation program.
Shall we play a game? No! No! SARAH, is he right? SARAH? Listen, everyone is afraid of being abandoned.
I mean, I'm afraid of what's gonna happen to this town when Henry leaves.
I mean, maybe it'll be a disaster.
I don't know.
But I promise you, for right now, I am not going anywhere.
Me either, SARAH.
Or me.
I guess I'm sticking around.
What about Baja, Sheriff? You kidding? You know what the crime rate is there? And don't even get me started on soil erosion.
What's up? I'm having a skylight put in.
And a ladder.
Cool.
What about the pop-up artillery outside? I don't know.
What about the shoplifting? I like chocolate bars, free chocolate bars.
And really like being alive.
Thing of the past, I swear.
I was thinking, Sheriff, if you both would like to take another sick day, we could spend some quality time together.
Oh, look at the time.
I gotta get ready for school.
Gotta go to work.
Perhaps we could play a board game, or watch a movie.
Hello? Hello?
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