Extended Family (2023) s01e11 Episode Script

1
Jim, I have brought your children
back home safe and sound.
Excellent. I hope everybody's hungry.
I have a homemade lasagna,
straight from the Stop
& Shop freezer section.
Dad, I know I've been away all day,
but can I go to Cody's?
There's a "Fortnite" tourney.
Plus, Cody's mom makes
food that was never frozen.
Sure. Have fun.
Dad, I know that you went
through a lot of trouble
to make the money that
bought that lasagna,
but Katie invited me for a sleepover.
It was great spending
a quality 35 seconds
with both of you today.
Dad, I hope you're hungry.
Thanks, Jim, but I got
a date with Rose tonight.
We're gonna Netflix and chill.
You know that means have sex?
I do.
I was trying to be discreet.
Well, there's no need
for this to go to waste.
If you wanna take some to Rose, you can.
Yes! Rose can't call me cheap anymore.
Can you spare a bottle of wine?
Sure. Take one of those.
Thanks.
I should probably grab one for Rose too.
Always thinking of others.
So, uh, you and Rose
are getting serious?
As of last night, we've made
love six and a half times.
That really amazes
me to hear a fraction.
Too bad you don't have a date
lined up for tonight, Jim.
You know, it's never been easier.
I'm on seven different dating apps now.
Does Rose know that?
She's on nine.
At our age, you gotta have a deep bench.
Well, those dating apps.
I-I like meeting women out in the wild.
You know, everybody on dating
apps is looking for a date.
I wanna meet someone who's
not looking for a date,
but who finds one anyway.
I'm not just saying this
because I'm your father.
Somebody out there would
be lucky to settle for you.
Kids, let's go!
Enjoy your sleepovers, everyone.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
You know I will.
Tonight, we're gonna try to
go from six and a half to seven.
You wanna know how?
I desperately, desperately do not.
It's true ♪
The marriage that we
once had now is through ♪
And now we're doing
all that we can do ♪
To keep us all together as a crew ♪
Just do as we say, not as we do ♪
We really thought that we were done ♪
But we've just begun ♪
Chilly in here, huh?
Oh, I know.
I just saw a family of four
hugging a rotisserie chicken
to stay warm.
[LAUGHING]
I like those prAna pants.
Do you do yoga?
I do not do yoga.
And I had no idea they were yoga pants.
I got them from Julia, and I wear them
because they are
deliciously buttery soft.
Look, I don't want to lie to this woman,
but on the other hand,
I feel like, you know,
I might have a little
nibble on the line here,
and I don't wanna scare off the fish
which I realize is an outdated metaphor,
reducing a human being to something
that can be, essentially,
hunted with a worm.
But since I've already used it,
I got a live one.
Uh [CHUCKLES]
Do I do yoga?
Seems like everyone's doing yoga now.
Not a lie. I repeated a question
and stated a fact.
It's nice to run into a yogi
in the barren wasteland of frozen food.
I keep telling myself I
should remain in produce,
but oh, these chicken pot pies.
Oh, you have cheers.
[BOTH LAUGH]
You ever go to the
Blissful Elephant studio?
No, but, uh, I've
definitely heard about it.
Also not a lie.
She just said it, and I just heard it.
Where do you practice?
Giggling Goat. Yoga Hut.
I know you're a Dancing Shiva dude.
[LAUGHS]
That that is a great guess.
I assume.
What's your favorite class over there?
Ah, I really can't say. [CHUCKLES]
And I really couldn't say
because I had no idea
what I was talking about.
Who's your favorite teacher?
Mm, names.
Oh, God, I'm so bad with names.
Um
names are are just
clothing for the soul.
That's deep. You sound like a true yogi.
Thank you.
Uh, my Western name is Jim.
But my soul will answer to anything
delivered with kindness.
Oh.
Kristen.
Oh.
It was nice to
If you ever wanna try Blissful Elephant,
I'm there Sundays at 9:00 a.m.
Oh, all right. 9:00 a.m. Sunday.
You know, I'm I'll
start stretching now.
Great. I-I
I don't wanna sound too woo-woo,
but this class has really changed
my conversation with the world.
You know, that is not woo-woo.
That's that's wahoo.
You know, me and the world,
we can talk all night.
You know, yap, yap,
yap. No, you go, world.
No, you go, Jim. [HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH]
You're hysterical, Jim. No you, world!
Ha ha!
I-I really hope I see you
at the Elephant on Sunday.
Maybe I'll bring my friend, the world.
Okay.
Kearney got a bite.
[GRUNTING]
Should I call 911?
Yeah, and tell them you
entered without knocking.
Sorry, I left my license on the dresser.
Are you doing yoga?
I am.
Turns out I have a gift
for the stretchy art.
- What's her name?
- Kristen.
We were flirting at NutriNook.
So I'm gonna meet her for yoga on Sunday
at the Blissful Elephant at 9:00 a.m.
Unreal.
For years, I tried
to get you to do yoga,
and you chose watching baseball,
golf, and napping every time.
The couch is an
ever-beckoning mistress.
And the TV is her trampy best friend.
And I don't recall you
ever asking me to do yoga.
Oh.
I have proof.
Proof? Were you wearing a wire?
Ha!
Remember this book?
"Hold Me Close: A Marital
Guide to Reignite Passion"?
Definitely not.
The book encouraged us to
make a list of some things
you wish your spouse would do to restore
the bonds of your marriage.
Wait, you actually did that?
Yes!
[SCOFFS]
Uh
okay, here it is.
Number 26: "I wish
Jim did yoga with me."
So you're saying that if
I had done yoga back then,
I'd be prepared for this date?
Kristen's gonna know that
I've never done yoga before, isn't she?
I'm sure she's not expecting you
to be some great yogi.
Well, she may have gotten the impression
that I was a yogi.
How?
From me giving her the
impression I was a yogi.
I got excited 'cause it
seemed like she was liking me,
and I just wanted things to
keep going in the direction
of her liking me because
that's not a bad direction
for my life to head in.
I mean, one day the
kids will leave the nest,
and you and Trey will be off
on some superyacht somewhere,
and Dad and Rose will be in
an assisted living facility,
fractioning one another's brains out.
And I just wanna meet
somebody before my sex life
starts measuring in halves.
Jim, you are gonna meet someone.
You are wildly likeable.
Yeah, except when I'm doing yoga.
You are naturally flexible. It's true.
- I know, right?
- Mm-hmm.
But I I just don't know how to yoga.
I mean, she's gonna know
that I'm a fraud, unless
What?
Well, remember how you used to want me
to do yoga with you?
I mean, like, so much
that you wrote down
a wish list with it?
Well, Julia, I'm gonna make
wish number 26 come true.
You want me to come to yoga with you
and be your yoga whisperer?
Oh, my God, what a great idea!
[BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC]
And Jim was like, I don't remember
you asking me to do yoga.
So I showed him proof.
Proof?
What, were you wearing a wire?
No, "Hold Me Close."
With pleasure.
[LAUGHING]
No.
That's the name of the
book that I got Jim and I
for us to save our marriage.
Did you try to get a refund?
Look here. My wish list,
number 26, which is
"would do yoga with me."
So Sunday, I'm gonna
be his yoga whisperer,
9:00 a.m. at the Blissful Elephant.
Jim gets list. Jim never reads list.
Bad for him, good for me.
Unnecessary for us.
Okay she's jumping! Oh, God!
[LAUGHS]
♪
I realize that this
wish list was written
for Jim and not for me, but, uh
this is a cheat code.
♪
Mr. Kearney, here's your
ten-class Bliss Passport.
We'll stamp it for each blissful journey
you take with us.
Well, I look forward to increasing
my stretching abilities.
[SOFT ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Ananda.
[CLAPS] Jim.
Have a blissful journey.
Thank you, Ananda.
Ooh.
Yoga world's a little
more balmy than I thought.
And Kristen's not here.
Let's stay at the back of the class.
25 bucks a class, turn up the AC.
Am I right? [CHUCKLES]
Right here is good
because no matter where
Kristen puts her mat, she won't
be able to see you back here.
Oh, yeah.
And that way, I can get
a good look at her
actually, why am I not saying it?
You and I are not married anymore.
Her butt.
I want a clean, unobstructed
view of her butt.
Dear God, is it hot.
Maybe because I'm here.
What are you doing here?
Number 18:
"I sometimes wish affection
was expressed poetically."
Baby, I love you so much
that when I'm away from you,
there's an ache in my heart
that can only be soothed
by the radiance of your face.
Are you day drinking?
Yeah, and I'm day drunk
off a case of Julia.
Watch the hangover on that.
- Mwah.
- Go right there.
I wanna get a clean, unobstructed view
of your butt.
Good morning, beautiful souls.
That's her.
- The teacher?
- Yeah.
[SCOFFS] Dude.
Don't "dude" me.
She when she told
me this was her class,
she meant it was her class.
Oh, my she's gonna know I'm a fraud.
Welcome to hot yoga.
Huh! So that's why it's so hot!
Jim, you didn't mention it was hot yoga.
This stuff is intense.
Well, I'm gonna make a break for it.
Jim!
I'm glad you could make it.
Kristen. Uh, yes.
Yes, I'm just, uh
I'm just closing this door to, uh,
trap in the blissfully
debilitating heat.
[GONG REVERBERATES]
Sat nam.
- ALL: Sat nam.
- [STRAINED] Sat nam.
Today we'll practice the
Surya Namaskar sequence
used for centuries in India
to train young warriors.
Oh.
Oh! Hello.
For those of you who are new,
we heat the room to 105 degrees,
which would have been a nice, breezy day
for young Indian warriors.
[LAUGHTER]
Why is that funny?
Yoga humor.
Are you ready?
ALL: Ha!
[FEEBLY] Ha!
Inhale, arms up.
Exhale, fold.
Inhale, halfway lift
[UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC]
♪
Exhale, adho mukha svanasana.
And jumping back up to standing.
And again, we did I hear someone say,
"Kristen, brr, I'm chilly-chill-chill"?
Okay then, let's turn up the heat.
And again, going through the sequence.
Smooth breath. Engage your core.
Wow.
Looks like we have a
warrior in our midst.
Yes, you do.
Number 22:
"I wish my husband would show enthusiasm
for new challenges."
This is such a challenge.
I'm so enthused.
Okay, let's work on some
specifics of our form.
Could someone help me demonstrate?
Number seven:
"I wish my husband
would volunteer more."
I volunteer.
Oh, our warrior.
Come on up.
Come on into plank for me.
Oh.
- Gorgeous.
- Gorgeous?
See how everything is on the same plane?
Straight as a warrior's sword.
Why is she talking about his sword?
She likes 'em straight.
Now, when my warrior lowers
into chaturanga dandasana,
all his body will kiss
the earth simultaneously.
Fantastic.
When is the first water break?
Let's give our special
warrior a round of applause.
[APPLAUSE]
What? This is too slow for you all?
You wanna double-time it?
No. No nobody said double-time.
Nobody said anything.
Who is talking to her?
Okay, if you insist, here we go.
ALL: Ha!
[FEEBLY] Ha!
If anything is too challenging,
child's pose is always a great option.
You know what else is an option, lady?
Keeping your hands off
other people's swords.
[APPLAUSE]
That was amazing.
Don't you guys feel invigorated?
Jim, I-I should have warned you
how hard this class was.
I felt so bad every time
I looked over at you.
You know how they say,
don't let them see you sweat?
Well, uh, clearly whatever sociopath
invented hot yoga did not
I forgot the rest of that sentence.
Hey hey, Kristen.
Um, what are you doing later?
You wanna grab a cup of coffee?
Oh, I don't drink coffee.
How about a couple of gallons of water?
We can go any place that serves water.
Hey.
- That was a great class.
- [GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
Thanks for being my warrior today.
Any time.
I'll see you at home. Namaste, baby.
Yoga is such a gift.
It's so good for your heart.
Is it, Ananda?
Is it?
Yeah, is it?
[BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC]
Yeah, how about the way Trey was
totally showing off for her?
How would he like it if I
had been flirting with Ananda?
Oh, Ananda, thank you
for checking me in.
I feel so safe and
secure in your capable,
administrative hands.
Oh, stamp my passport.
Yeah, stamp it, right there.
You got it. Right there.
Stamp it. Stamp it.
Right there. Keep
stamping. Keep stamping.
Stamp my bliss. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm your little bliss miss.
How'd you like that, Trey?
I'm Jim.
You know what I should
have said to Trey?
"Don't you think you're
overdoing it a little bit?"
And he would have said, "Overdoing it?
I think you're overreacting, Julia."
And I would have said, "Overreacting?
I don't think so." And
then he'd go, "What?"
and I'd go, "Yeah," and he'd go, "Pfft,"
and I'd go, "Pssh."
Are you having a fight in your head?
Yeah. I always do.
I like to map things
out mentally beforehand.
This is why I always felt
like I entered our fights in the middle.
If you're gonna argue with Trey,
you should let him be there
to defend himself from the get-go.
You're right.
I I have to go argue
with Trey face-to-face.
Good.
Today should be a bad day for everybody.
I mean [COUGHS]
I gotta switch grocery stores
so that I never see Kristen ever again.
I wish you never gave me
those stupid yoga pants.
Oh, yeah. Blame it on a Christmas gift.
You know what, Jim?
Kristen did seem genuinely
happy to see you show up.
And even happier to see me crawl out.
If I were to write a new list,
number one would be,
"I wish Jim would have
the same confidence he had
when he first asked me out."
I was young and dumb
and had nothing to lose.
And now you're old and dumb
and have nothing to lose.
Food for thought.
Enjoy your fight.
I will.
[BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC]
[ELEVATOR CHIMES]
Trey, there's
there's something I need to say.
- Out loud.
- Sure. Sure.
I'm going to say it now.
Go. Lay it on me.
Um, you know how I'm pretty good
at managing other people's conflicts?
Babe, you're better than pretty good.
You're ferocious.
Sure, I'm ferocious in my head,
where I fight with other people
instead of directly talking to them.
What the hell did Jim do now?
No, no, no. It's it's about you.
What is it?
You were showing off in yoga.
And and I didn't know how to react.
And then she got all touchy with you
and called you her warrior
and talked about your sword.
And then you were kissing the earth.
And it was embarrassing, and
I didn't know how to react.
And then I got really jealous,
and I have not been jealous
since I was 16 years old,
and it was really, really bad.
I do not wanna be jealous again.
I got really, really jealous
about a boy named Craig Heisner.
And it's really embarrassing
that all of these words
are just blurting out of
my mouth, so there you go.
I was showing off.
I was showing off for you.
Why were you showing off for me?
I you don't need to. I adore you.
I couldn't be any more impressed by you.
Yeah, and I wanna keep it that way.
I wanna be enthusiastic
about new challenges.
I wanna volunteer more.
I wanna express my
affection for you poetically.
You took my wish list out of the trash.
[LAUGHS]
I did.
But your wishes don't
belong in the trash.
That's really romantic.
Here comes a hug.
No, stop, stop! No. No.
What?
Hot yoga hurts.
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
- [GROANS]
- Baby. Aw.
♪
Hey, Kristen.
Jim.
You know, great class yesterday.
Uh, hard class.
Hard hot, uh
hard, hot class.
I just I wanted to apologize
for exaggerating, uh
actually, inventing my yoga credentials.
Um, I'm a divorced dad.
I'm dipping my toe back into dating.
- And I just, uh
- Divorce is brutal.
Yes. But luckily,
my ex and I are on great terms.
She actually came with me to the class
with her fiancé, Trey
his sword was very straight.
You mean the show-off?
I'm so glad you noticed.
My ex and I kept the family apartment,
and we alternate weeks so that
the kids don't have to move around.
Oh. I grew up with divorced parents
and always hated
bouncing back and forth.
It's good you're
putting your kids first.
Very unselfish. That's
some life yoga there.
Sat nam.
Sat nam!
Um
hey, uh, you think
maybe we could get a
a cup of something not coffee.
Maybe a tea or smoothie?
Boba?
Well, I'd kill for a cup of coffee.
You said you don't drink coffee.
I lied.
Oh, great. We have something in common.
[LAUGHS]
♪
And exhaling as you squeeze
your legs into your chest.
This pose is called pavanamuktasana,
or wind-relieving pose.
And just to relieve anyone
of any embarrassment,
I wanna say that if you find
some wind being released,
then you're doing it right.
Wait, we're supposed to fart?
Well, don't go out of your way, but
Yoga.
Where have you been my whole life?
♪