Freaks and Geeks s01e11 Episode Script
The Garage Door
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[KIDS CHATTERING.]
HEY, UM MY FRIEND WAS WONDERING, UH IF I GAVE YOU A JOINT, WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME? WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT.
LINDSAY! HEY! HEY, GUESS WHAT? WE GOT A GIG.
YEAH.
STROKER'S BROTHER'S GONNA LET US PLAY AT HIS PARTY.
UH, HE'S EVEN GONNA LOAN US A MARSHALL STACK AND A PEAVEY BASS CABINET.
IT'S, LIKE, TOTAL PRO EQUIPMENT.
YEAH.
WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE ROOF OFF HIS GARAGE IN A MOST ROCK-TAGIOUS WAY.
WOW.
THAT'S REALLY GREAT, YOU GUYS.
SO WE JUST NEED YOUR PARENTS' STATION WAGON TO PICK UP THE AMPS.
WHAT? YOU GUYS CAN' USE MY PARENT'S CAR.
THEY'RE INSANE ABOUT IT.
MY DAD EVEN CALLS IT BETTY.
LINDSAY, PLEASE.
I MEAN, WE NEED TO GET THOSE AMPS.
DON'T BE LAME.
I'M NOT BEING LAME, DANIEL.
MY PARENTS ARE NEVER GONNA LET US BORROW THEIR STATION WAGON.
WELL, DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOUR MOM PLAYS BRIDGE OR SOMETHING ON TUESDAYS? YEAH, SO? SO, SHE WON' EVEN KNOW IT'S GONE.
JUST GRAB THE KEYS.
WE'LL BE BACK BEFORE SHE FINISHES THE FIRST HAND.
I DON'T KNOW.
OH! SQUIRREL! Kim: LINDSAY, WHOA! JEEZ, MY NECK! JUST RUN OVER THE STUPID SQUIRREL, LINZE.
LINDSA Lindsay: AW.
Y, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DRIVER.
SHUT UP, DANIEL.
YOU ARE.
Lindsay: HOW FAR IS THIS PLACE, JAPAN? NO.
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
IT'S ON THE NEXT BLOCK.
NO, DANIEL, I TOLD YOU.
IT'S NOT ON HANCOCK.
IT'S ON WARREN.
IT'S ON HANCOCK.
I WAS JUST THERE.
HEY, COULD YOU PU ON SOME REAL MUSIC? I HATE THIS NEW WAVE CRAP.
NO.
NO.
LEAVE IT ON, MAN.
THAT'S JOE JACKSON.
HIS BASS PLAYER'S UNBELIEVABLE, MAN.
HEY, THERE'S VALERIE'S HOUSE, YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY.
LIND NO, WE'RE NOT.
Y, PLEASE DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
I AM DRIVING NICE.
YEAH.
YEAH.
ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS 'CAUSE I GO A BIG ONE A-BREWING.
OH, NO.
PLEASE DON'T.
EW.
KEN, YOU BETTER NOT.
Ken: IT'S COMING! Lindsay: EW! THOSE MILLER FARTS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.
LINDSAY, THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE HOUSE OVER THERE! RIGHT THERE! Lindsay: WHERE? WATCH OUT! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION LIVIN' IN THE PAST, IT'S A NEW GENERATION GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THAT'S WHA I'M GONNA DO AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, MEME, ME, ME WHAH! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN OUT MY REPUTATION I'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF ANY DEVIATION AND I DON'T REALLY CARE IF YOU THINK I'M STRANGE I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE AND I'M NEVER GONNA CE 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION CAPTIONINGADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
CA BOOK.
I HATE BEING IN SCHOOL AFTER IT'S OUT.
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A JANITOR.
JANITORS ARE COOL.
I'D LIKE TO BE A JANITOR.
WHY? SO YOU CAN SHOW UP WITH THE RED SAWDUS AFTER A KID THROWS UP? NO.
'CAUSE JANITORS MAKE WAY MORE THAN TEACHERS.
IT MAKES UP FOR ALL THA GROSS STUFF THEY HAVE TO DO.
Todd: WHY? Cindy: OH, YOU.
BECAUSE I'M A GIRL.
COME ON, GIRLS CAN CALL GUYS.
GIRLS DO NOT CALL GUYS.
SURE, THEY DO.
NO, THEY DON'T.
COME ON.
WHAT'S SO GREA ABOUT HIM ANYWAY? IT'S THE HAIR.
Sam: OH, COME ON.
SHE LIKES HIM BECAUSE OF HIS HAIR? OF COURSE.
HE'S GO THE FEATHERED THING GOING.
GIRLS LOVE THAT.
YEAH.
ALL THE MEN MY MOM DATES HAVE FEATHERED HAIR.
I HEARD HER TALKING TO HER GIRLFRIENDS.
SHE SAID ANY GUY WITH FEATHERED HAIR IS FOXY.
BUT IT'S JUST HAIR.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD GIRLS CARE HOW YOU COMB IT? THAT'S WOMEN.
THEY GET TURNED ON BY WEIRD STUFF.
MY GOD, LOOK AT MY CAR! WHAT WERE YOU DOING? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT? I AM SO, SO SORRY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DIDN'T YOU SEE ME PULLING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY? HEY, LADY, SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL A LITTLE UPSET HERE.
DON'T TALK TO ME NOW.
DO NOT TALK TO ME.
BARBARA, COULD YOU CALL THE POLICE? THE POLICE?! COME ON, LADY! CALM THE HELL DOWN, ALL RIGHT? KIM, KNOCK IT OFF! GOD, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WHAT? LINDSAY, HOW IS THIS MY FAULT? OH.
"THAT'S THE HOUSE!" THAT'S WHEN YOU WERE-- HEY, HEY, HEY, GUYS! TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S BOTH YOUR FAULTS.
WHAT? THIS IS NO MY FAULT, DANIEL.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TALKED ME INTO THIS.
I DIDN'T TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE I AM GONNA BE IN? YOU ARE GONNA PAY FOR EVERY LAST CENT OF THIS DAMAGE, YOUNG LADY.
HEY, LADY.
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU MIGH NOT HAVE HEARD OF.
IT'S CALLED INSURANCE.
OH, PLEASE.
YOU JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME.
JUST STAY AWAY.
YEAH.
WHO WANTS TO BE NEAR YOU ANYWAYS.
YOU'RE TOO SEXY.
OH, PLEASE.
OH, MAN.
[DANIEL MOANS.]
OLICE.
YOU KNOW THAT? I COULD CALL THE POLICE AND REPORT THIS AS GRAND THEFT AUTO.
I CAN SEND MY OWN DYOU KNOW THAT? I'M SO SORRY, DADDY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LIEVE ANYTHINGYOU SAY ANYMORE.
WHY SHOULD I? YOU'RE GROUNDED.
I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU FOR HOW LONG.
YOU'LL BE COMING HOMEAND SITTING IN YOUR ROOM.
NO STEREO, NO RADIO, NO TV, NO NOTHING.
AND YOU ARE NO TO HANG OU WITH THOSE BURNT-OU FRIENDS OF YOURS EVER AGAIN.
EVER! DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T WORRY.
[SIGHS.]
I WON'T.
YOU'D BEER NOT.
HEY, LINDSAY.
I SAW THE SMASHED CAR IN YOUR DRIVEWAY.
JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE ARE YOU OK, LINDSAY? YEAH.
NO.
IT WAS SO TERRIBLE, MILLIE.
IT JUST DIDN'T SOUND LIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER HEARD.
IT WAS JUS THIS THUD.
IT WAS SO SCARY.
WHO WAS IN THE CAR WITH YOU? WHO DO YOU THINK? SORRY, LINDSAY.
IF Y OU WANT, I CAN GO GET MY UNO DECK.
NO.
I'M FINE.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MATHLETE SCRIMMAGE AGAINST NORTH LAKE? KATIE GOT SO NERVOUS WHEN SHE WENT UP TO DO HER ROUND THAT SHE GO A BLOODY NOSE.
AND THEN, SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT.
SHE HAD TO SNEEZE, AND SHE BLEW BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.
[LAUGHS.]
SHE LOOKED DOWN, AND SHE SAW IT ON HER SHIRT, AND SHE FAINTED.
UH-UH.
NO, SHE DIDN'T.
WELL, NO, BUT SHE WAS GONNA.
IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.
SO, HOW'S THE TEAM DOING THIS YEAR? THEY, UH-- IT'S BEEN COOL.
NOT AS FUN AS LAST YEAR.
I REALLY MISS YOU, LINDSAY.
ALL THE MATHLETES DO.
[SLIKID BY THE WHO PLAYS.]
I'VE GOT MY CLIPBOARD, TEXTBOOKS LEAD ME TO THE STATION OH, MAN.
HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS ON WITHOUT MESSING UP MY HAIR? [RIP.]
GONNA RUN TILL MY FEET ARE RAW SLIP KID, SLIP KID MAN! I'M A SOLDIER AT 13 SLIP KID, SLIP KID, REALIZATION THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO BE FREE NO EASY WAY TO BE FREE BOY, I CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH THOSE PIRATES ARE GONNA CHARGE ME.
JUST PRETEND YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT CARS.
BUT I DON'T.
THEY CAN SMELL IT, THE BLOODSUCKERS.
YEAH-- WHAT'S THE MATTER? LINDSAY, YOU WANT SOME BACON? NO, THANKS, MOM.
I'M JUST GONNA HAVE SOME JUICE.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
WHAT? SAM.
HEY, DAD.
SAMMY, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
JUST LIKE ONE OF THE HARDY BOYS.
THANKS.
HEY, SAM, WAIT UP.
BYE, MOM.
BYE, DAD.
WOW.
MY GOODNESS.
DON'T THE WEIRS LOOK NICE TODAY? Both: THANK YOU.
SEE YOU.
SEE YOU, SAM.
HA HA HA HA! WHAT, DID YOU JUS COME FROM CHURCH? SO, HOW'D THINGS GO WITH YOUR DAD? WAS HE PISSED? NO.
NOT AT ALL.
HE WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT I STOLE HIS CAR AND SMASHED IT.
HEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, THE PARTY GOT MOVED TILL TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANIEL? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER 'CAUSE NOW I'M GROUNDED, SO I CAN'T GO TO ANY OF YOUR STUPID PARTIES, EVER.
WHY DON'T YOU JUS SNEAK OUT? WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO HELL? [LAUGHS.]
WHOA.
GOD, LINDSAY.
OH, SHUT UP, KIM! I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS GETTING ME IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME.
I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS, PERIOD.
MAYBE YOU'RE JUS ON YOUR PERIOD.
[KEN LAUGHS.]
YEAH, DANIEL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
I'M ON MY PERIOD.
YOU FIGURED IT OUT.
IT WAS A JOKE.
OH, SORRY.
IT'S HARD TO PICK UP ON THE SUBTLETY OF YOUR WIT.
WHAT'S UP YOUR BUTT, PRINCESS? YOU ARE, DANIEL! I'M TIRED OF YOU USING ME.
YOU'RE THE MOST SELFISH PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING SMAR OR GOING TO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIVES ARE SUCH LOST CAUSES, DON'T KEEP ASSUMING THAT MINE IS.
WHAT WAS THA ALL ABOUT? I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.
SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW, WHO ASKED HER TO HANG OU WITH US ANYWAYS? LIKE WE NEED HER LITTLE JUDGMENTS ALL THE TIME.
MY LIFE AIN' A LOST CAUSE, YOU KNOW? HERS IS.
SHE'S JUST A BIG BABY.
I TOLD YOU GUYS THA FROM DAY ONE.
IT'S LIKE HANGING OU WITH MY GRANDMA.
YEAH.
WELL, LITTLE MISS PERFEC DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT MY PLANS ARE.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOUR PLANS? I GOT A LOT OF PLANS.
LIKE? WHO ARE YOU, MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR? WHAT AREYOUGONNA DO? I'M GONNA WAI FOR MY DAD TO DIE SO I INHERIT HIS COMPANY.
THEN I'M GONNA SELL I AND MOVE TO HAWAII.
GREAT PLAN.
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING BETTER COMING OUT OF YOU.
WELL I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, A LAWYER OR SOMETHING.
I'M GONNA PU THE POLE ON TRIAL.
I'M GONNA GET GUYS OUT OF JAIL AND STUFF.
YOU KNOW? YEAH.
MAYBE YOU CAN BREAK DANIEL OUT OF THERE.
SCREW YOU, MAN.
I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL.
OK.
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING? PLENTY.
NOW IF YOU'RE DONE GRILLING ME, MR.
ROSSO, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A DOLLAR SO I CAN GE SOME SNO-BALLS? OK.
YOU GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, THIS--IT'S NO ABOUT THE ACCIDENT.
LINDSAY'S REALLY DEPRESSED THAT I BROKE UP WITH HER.
SHE'S GOT TO GET OVER I THOUGH, YOU KNOW? YEAH, NICK.
SURE.
SO, I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA BE, LIKE, A PSYCHIATRIS OR SOMETHING.
NO.
I'M GONNA BE A DEEJAY, MAN.
AND MAYBE, UM, A LUMBERJACK.
THE NAME OF THE COMPANY IS TEXAS INSTRUMENTS, BUT I HEARD IT'S MADE IN TAIWAN.
[ALL LAUGH.]
HEY.
IS IT OK IF I SIT HERE? YEAH.
SIT DOWN, LINDSAY.
HI, CAREY.
HI.
HI, ERIN.
HI.
LOOK, LINDSAY.
ERIN GOT A NEW CALCULATOR.
IT GRAPHS AND EVERYTHING.
I GOT I FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
THAT'S COOL.
CAN I SEE IT? Erin: YEAH.
DO YOU HAVE A CALCULATOR, LINDSAY? NO.
MY DAD WON'T BUY ME ONE.
HE SAYS EINSTEIN DID FINE WITHOUT ONE AND SO SHOULD I.
YOU DON'T NEED ONE, LINDSAY.
YEAH.
REMEMBER THAT JUDGE AT THE INTRA-DISTRICTS LAST YEAR? HE CALLED YOU THE HUMAN CALCULATOR.
OH, YEAH.
Millie: I THINK HE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU.
WHAT? EW, HE WAS, LIKE, 40 YEARS OLD.
THAT'S SO GROSS.
HEY, LINDSAY, I'M HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT.
ALL THE MATHLETES ARE GONNA BE THERE.
YOU WANNA GO? WELL YEAH, I WOULD, BUT I'M GROUNDED.
OH, YEAH.
WELL, YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR DAD.
IT'S JUST ACROSS THE STREET.
IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF FUN.
YEAH? WELL, I MAYBE.
'S AN INTERESTING LOOK, SAM.
NAW.
YOUR HAIR'S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO BE FEATHERED.
I THINK IT LOOKS WEIRD, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ALL FANCY OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY WITH HOW YOU LOOK, SAM.
MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHA THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU.
WELL, THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU A LOT, GORDON.
Neal & Sam: BILL! MY WHOLE FAMILY'S BIG-BONED.
IT'S GENETIC.
BESIDES, THE WORLD LOVES JOLLY FAT GUYS.
BURL IVES, JACKIE GLEASON SANTA CLAUS, UH, CURLY, RAYMOND BURR.
NO.
RAYMOND BURR'S NOT JOLLY.
WELL, HE WAS EXTREMELY NICE TO ME AT LAST YEAR'S AUTO SHOW.
HEY.
DO ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE A PENCIL I COULD BORROW? OH, HEY, CINDY.
HOW'S IT GOING? IT'S OK.
TODAY IN CHEMISTRY, I SAT ON A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE AND HAD TO GO HOME AND CHANGE MY PANTS.
[LAUGHS.]
OH.
YEAH.
SAM, DID YOU WEAR A HAT TODAY? BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS KIND OF FLAT.
GOT ONE.
Cindy: THANKS.
I'LL BRING I RIGHT BACK.
YOU BETTER.
OH, MAN.
YOU CAN'T JUST COMB YOUR HAIR DIFFEREN AND EXPECT CINDY TO START LIKING YOU.
YOU HAVE TO DRESS DIFFERENT, TOO.
I DRESS OK.
SAM, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER DRESSES YOU.
[SCOFFS.]
HEY, WELL, AT LEAS I DON'T DRESS LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY.
DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER.
I KNOW I LOOK GOOD.
I DRESS WELL, AND I GROOM MYSELF PROPERLY.
LOOK AROUND.
THE WHOLE SCHOOL DRESSES BETTER THAN YOU DO.
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
PIRATES.
WE LIVE RIGH OUTSIDE DETROIT, AND THEY CAN' FIND A FENDER? NOW I GET 2 WEEKS OF DRIVING AROUND TOWN LOOKING LIKE SOME KIND OF HILLBILLY.
HEY, DAD, CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY? HMM? UH, I WANNA BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES TOMORROW.
OH, SAMMY, I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MALL.
WE'LL USE MY CREDIT CARDS.
AND THEN WE CAN GO TO MAGIC PAN AND GET CREPES-- OH, NO.
MOM! YOU ALWAYS GET ME SOMETHING STUPID, LIKE GARANIMALS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I WANNA BUY MY OWN CLOTHES.
Harold: GOOD IDEA, SAM.
A MAN HAS TO LEARN TO DRESS HIMSELF.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO CUT THOSE APRON STRINGS SOMETIME.
DAD? I WAS THINKING OF GOING BACK TO THE MATHLETES AND I'LL HAVE TO STAY AFTER SCHOOL FOR PRACTICE.
IS THAT OK? Lindsay: DAD? WELL, YEAH.
I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE OK.
BUT IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF PLOY, THEN HEAVEN HELP YOU.
IT'S NOT A PLOY.
AND THANKS.
OK.
OK.
WHAT'S THE GAG? THERE IS NO GAG.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME BACK ON THE TEAM.
I'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU BACK ON THE TEAM IF YOU'RE SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS.
THAT'S GREAT.
THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM, LINDSAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT YOU IN THE RESERVES.
REALLY? AREN'T THERE ANY OPEN BLOCKS? NO.
IT'S A BIG TEAM THIS YEAR.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU STAR COMING TO PRACTICES UNTIL YOU GET CAUGHT UP, AND MAYBE IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS, WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.
ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
[BELL RINGS.]
I GOT TO GO TO CLASS.
NO.
COME ON.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
DEZ GAVE ME THE KEYS TO HIS PLACE.
WE'LL GO EARN SOME EXTRA BIOLOGY CREDIT.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? I TOLD YOU.
I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS.
OH.
OK, LINDSAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP, MAN! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GUY THAT HAD ALL THESE BIG PLANS.
YEAH.
I WENT TO ALL MY CLASSES YESTERDAY.
I COULD BARELY STAY AWAKE.
THEN DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE AND GET IT TOGETHER, DANIEL.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
SO, CARL SAGAN SAY "THAT'S NOT A COSINE.
YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR ASYMPTOTE FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
" [LAUGHING.]
OH, HI, LINDSAY.
HEY, SHELLY.
I HEAR THA YOU HAVE TO BE ON THE RESERVES.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
YOU KNOW, SHELLY, IF YOU GIVE UP FIRST BLOCK, THEN LINDSAY COULD HAVE HER SPOT BACK ON THE TEAM.
MILLIE.
JUST KIDDING.
DON'T KID ABOUT FIRST BLOCK.
[NERVOUS GIGGLE.]
SORRY.
YOU KNOW, M.
I.
T.
LOOKS WAY MORE CAREFULLY AT YOUR APPLICATION IF YOU'VE BEEN A FIRST BLOCK.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD GIVE UP BEING FIRST BLOCK JUST TO HANG OU WITH FREAKS.
GOD, SHELLY! IT'S TRUE! I'M NOT PUTTING HER DOWN.
I MEAN, THEY'RE THE ONES WHO MADE HER GET INTO THAT CAR ACCIDENT.
I BET YOU THEY WERE ALL HIGH.
NOBODY WAS HIGH.
OH.
WAS THA KIM GIRL WITH YOU? SHE'S PREGNANT, YOU KNOW.
MY NEIGHBOR WORKS AT THE FREE CLINIC, AND HE SAID THA HE SAWER OVER THERE THE OTHER DAY.
JUST BECAUSE A GIRL CHOOSES TO LIVE HER LIFE DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DO DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S AUTOMATICALLY BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT.
I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS BAREFOOT.
I MEAN, DON'T GET ALL MAD.
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN I DO.
MR.
KOWCHEVSKI, I NT YOU TO MAKE ME FIRST BLOCK.
NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO! LOOK, AT LEAST PUT ME BACK ON THE TEAM.
I AM THE BEST PERSON AT MATH IN THIS SCHOOL.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT I'M THE BEST PERSON AT MATH IN THIS SCHOOL.
OK.
BUT, COME ON, LET'S CUT THE CRAP, KOWCHEVSKI.
[SIGHS.]
OK.
YOU'RE RIGHT, LINDSAY, THE TEAM NEEDS YOU DESPERATELY.
I MEAN, IF IT WASN'T FOR SHELLY, WE'D BE IN THE TOILET.
I CANNOT BOUNCE ANYONE FROM THIS TEAM.
THEY'VE BEEN COMING EVERY DAY, LINDSAY, IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
THIS IS THE MATHLETES, NOT THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S STILL A TEAM.
SO IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A TEAM, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A WINNING ONE.
OTHERWISE, WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF COMPETING? [DISCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
LOOKS LIKE A DISCO.
HEY, GUY, YOU CAN' EAT IN HERE.
I'M NOT DONE.
I CAN' THROW IT AWAY.
WELL, I CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING MUSTARD ALL OVER OUR GARMENTS.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT OUTSIDE.
NO, NO, NO.
THERE.
ALL GONE.
EXCELLENT.
WELL, UH, WHAT CAN I HELP YOU GENTS OUT WITH TODAY? YEAH, UH, I WANNA BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES.
SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE BEST-DRESSED KID IN SCHOOL.
WELL, I'VE GO A QUESTION FOR YOU.
YOU WANNA BE A STUD, OR DO YOU WANNA BE A SUPER STUD? SUPER STUD, SAM.
GO FOR SUPER STUD.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
WALK THIS WAY.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
CHECK IT OUT! IT'S THE LATES THING IN.
IT'S THE HOTTES THING GOING IN EUROPE RIGHT NOW.
WHAT IS IT? THIS IS A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, AND I PREDICT EVERY TRENDSETTING GUY IN THIS CITY'S GONNA OWN ONE.
WOW.
REALLY? REALLY IS RIGHT.
BUY THIS GARMENT, AND I GUARANTEE YOU'LL BE PERCEIVED AS A MAN OF DISTINCTION BY THE LADIES.
I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, GUYS, LOOK AT ME.
YOU KNOW, I'M NO A HANDSOME MAN, BUT I LEARNED HOW TO STYLE MY HAIR, STARTED WEARING SOME OF THESE CLOTHES.
IT'S BEEN PRETTY COOL.
ALL RIGHT, GANG.
I'VE HAD TO MAKE SOME TOUGH DECISIONS ABOUT WHO'S GONNA BE COMPETING TOMORROW, AND SOME OF YOU ARE NOT GONNA LIKE THAT.
LINDSAY, YOU'RE ON THE TEAM.
SHE REJOINS AND GETS INTO COMPETITION IN ONE DAY? THAT'S NOT FAIR! NO, SHELLY, IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT IF WE LOSE AGAINST LINCOLN TOMORROW, WE'RE GONNA BLOW OUR HOME ADVANTAGE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
THIS IS JUS A LITTLE INSURANCE.
WELL, THEN, WHO'S GONNA GET BUMPED? WELL, THAT'S STRICTLY A DECISION BASED ON THE LAST FEW PRACTICES.
MILLIE, WOULD YOU MIND SITTING OUT TOMORROW? OH.
NO, MR.
KOWCHEVSKI.
THAT'S FINE.
I DON'T MIND.
NO, MR.
KOWCHEVSKI, I--I DON'T THINK MILLIE SHOULD-- NO, LINDSAY.
THAT'S COOL.
THE TEAM REALLY NEEDS YOU.
NO, WE DON'T! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR TO YOU, MILLIE.
I SAID IT'S OK, SHELLY.
Care y: DOESN'T MATTER.
SHE'S NOT-- THIS IS UNFAIR TO ALL OF US! YOU KNOW, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! THIS IS MY BUSINESS! NO, IT'S NOT.
SHELLY, I'M NOT TRYING-- Mr.
Kowchevski: LADIES, LADIES! THIS IS JUS FOR TOMORROW'S SCRIMMAGE.
THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHOPPER OUT OF SAIGON, SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST CRANK DOWN THE DRAMA A NOTCH, OK? [FLAMETHROWERBY J.
GEILS BAND PLAYING.]
OW! OW! HEY, CINDY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? HEY! HEY, CINDY! HEY, CINDY, WHAT'S UP? HEY, OUCH! OW! OW! OH? OH! WELL, SHE'S A FLAME FLA-A-A-AME FLAMETHROWER, SHE'S A LET'S YOU AND ME GET OUTTA HERE.
SHE'S A FLAME FLA-A-A-AME A RED-HOT BLOWER, SHE'S A FLAMETHROWER TONIGH OW! JEEZ, MILLIE, DON'T YOU EVER CLEAN YOUR ROOM? I JUST DID.
I'M REALLY GLAD MR.
KOWCHEVSKI KICKED ME OFF THE TEAM SO YOU CAN BE ON IT.
HE DIDN'T KICK YOU OFF THE TEAM, MILLIE.
HE JUST PUT YOU ON THE RESERVES.
YEAH, I KNOW.
DON'T WORRY.
HOW MUCH DOES SHELLY KNOW ABOUT TRIG? IS SHE GOOD AT IT? I THINK SO .
WE DON'T HAVE TOO MANY TRIG QUESTIONS.
YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU DO, DOES SHE GET 'EM RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW.
I FORGET.
MILLIE! COME ON, THINK! IF I'M GONNA BLOW SHELLY OUT OF THE WATER, I GOTTA KNOW THIS STUFF.
THINK MR.
KOWCHEVSKI'LL MOVE YOU TO FIRST BLOCK? HE'D BETTER.
IF I'M GONNA BE THE MATHLETES, I'M GONNA BE NUMBER ONE, OR ELSE I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
HEY, MOM.
HEY, HONEY.
I THINK I'M GONNA EA IN MY ROOM SO I CAN CRAM FOR THE SCRIMMAGE.
OH, LINDSAY, YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING NONSTOP.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE BREAK? MOM, I CAN'T.
NOT IF I WANNA WIN.
LINDSAY, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN COMPETITION.
NOT IF YOU WAN TO WIPE OUT SHELLY WEAVER.
AH.
IS SHE FROM LINCOLN? NO, SHE'S ON OUR TEAM.
OH.
HEY, LINDSAY? WHAT? ARE YOU HAVING FUN? YEAH.
COURSE I AM.
[JOE JACKSON'SLOOK SHARP PLAYING.]
HI.
HEY.
OK WHAT YOU SAY HEY! HELLO! GO ON AND LAUGH AT ME 'CAUSE YOU DON'T SEE THAT I GOT SOMETHING GOING RIGHT HERE [STUDENTS LAUGHING.]
YOU GOTTA LOOK SHARP YOU GOTTA LOOK SHARP AND YOU GOTTA HAVE NO ILLUSIONS WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? OH, MAN.
WHOA! HEY, HENSON, LOOK! IT'S THE NEW DISCO KEN DOLL! HA HA HA HA! HEY, PULL THE STRING AND MAKE HIM TALK! Neal: I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN LIGHT THEM.
IT'S METHANE.
YEAH, BUT WHA IF THE FLAME GOES BACK INSIDE YOU? DO YOU-- DO YOU EXPLODE? HEY! OH, MY GOD.
I GUESS ELVIS HASN'T LEF THE BUILDING.
HEY, DON' MAKE FUN OF HIM.
TH AT'S A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
HEY, YOU GUYS-- A PARISIAN? OOH LA LA! NO, NO.
IT'S A JUMPSUIT.
MY GRANDPA IN FORT LAUDERDALE BE WEARS THEM ALL THE TIME CAUSE HE'S TOO LAZY TO PUT ON PANTS.
LISTEN! I GOTTA GET OUT OUT OF HERE! HEAD FOR THE FRONT DOOR.
HEY, HEY, WHAT T-- WHY DID YOU BUY THAT? HEY, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID I SHOULD DRESS BETTER.
YEAH, I DIDN'T SAY YOU SHOULD DRESS LIKE EVEL KNIEVEL.
HEY, GUYS, I THINK WE'RE DIRECTING MORE ATTENTION TOWARD US BY DOING THIS.
THIS IS COOL.
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE SECRE SERVICE.
GET ME TO THE FRONT DOOR.
[BELL RINGS.]
TEST.
HEY, WHA ARE YOU DOING? W-WE GOTTA GO.
WE GOT A POP QUIZ IN WHITMAN'S CLASS, REMEMBER? OH, MAN! OK, UH OK, TELL WHITMAN THAT I MISSED THE BUS.
OK.
'SCUSE ME.
WHERE YOU GOING? YEAH, UH, I WAS JUS GONNA GO OUTSIDE TO GET SOMETHING.
YEAH? WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE GOING OU TO DRIVE A BUS, YOU'D BETTER TURN AROUND AND GET YOUR BUT TO CLASS.
SORRY.
NICE DUD JUNIOR.
OK, NOW, WHO WANTS TO TAKE A CRACK AT IDENTIFYING ALL THE PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES IN THESE SENTENCES? NO TAKERS, HUH? OKSAM.
DO YOU WANT TO COME UP HERE AND GIVE IT A SHOT? COME ON, SAM.
MAKE ME PROUD.
MY, DON'T YOU LOOK NICE! Jock: [COUGHS.]
HOMO.
Second jock: [COUGHS.]
HOMO.
[SCATTERED INSULTING COUGHS.]
HEY, HEY, HEY! NOW--NOW IF SAM WEARING SOMETHING DIFFEREN TO EXPRESS HIS INDIVIDUALITY MAKES HIM A "HOMO," WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE SHOULD ALL BE PROUD TO BE "HOMOS.
" NOW YOU GO AHEAD, SAM.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BEAT ME UP, ARE YOU? NO.
WHAT ARE YOU READING? THE, UH, THE MONSTER MANUAL.
IT'S ADUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK.
DO YOU PLAY? NO.
YOU SHOULD.
YOU'D MAKE A GOO D DUNGEON MASTER.
I CAN TELL.
YEAH? OH, YEAH.
THANKS.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? SURE.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF ME? EXCUSE ME? [SIGHS.]
WELL, IF SOMEONE ASKED YOU "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DANIEL DESARIO?" WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? WOULD YOU SAY HE'S A LOSER? UM, UM, NO.
NO, YOU'RE NOT A LOSER, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE SEX.
BUT, IF YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX, THEN WE COULD DEFINITELY DEBATE THE ISSUE.
RIGHT.
YOU GE GOOD GRADES, HUH? YEAH, DON'T YOU? NO.
I GE TERRIBLE GRADES.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL 'CAUSE I THINK ABOUT HOW BAD I'M REALLY DOING.
I WAS EVEN LEFT BACK ONCE.
OUCH.
WELL TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
SOMEONE SENT MY DAD A CARD WITH THAT ON I FOR HIS 65th BIRTHDAY.
YOU'RE DAD'S 65? 70 NOW.
WHEN I'M 45 HE'LL BE 100.
[LAUGHS.]
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY, HARRIS.
YEAH, I MEAN, YOU DO YOUR OWN THING.
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF.
YOU GOT I PRETYEAH, I GUESS I DO.
I DON'T HAVE SEX, THOUGH.
OK, PEOPLE, LISTEN UP.
LET'S NOT GET COCKY JUST 'CAUSE WE HAVE THE HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE.
NOW YOU ALL KNOW YOUR STUFF, SO JUST STAY CLEARHEADED, AND WE BLAZE THROUGH THIS.
NOW LET'S GO KICK SOME LINCOLN BUTT! Everybody, softly: YEAH! COME ON! LET'S GO.
GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY.
GOOD LUCK, SHELLY.
THANKS.
SAME TO YOU.
GOOD LUCK, LINDSAY.
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU DON'T NEED IT.
[WHISPERING.]
Go, First Block! NICK? OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT AREYOU DOING HERE? I WAS JUST, UM, KILLING SOME TIME.
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GET GOING.
MRS.
AMENDELLA? HI, IT'S SAM FROM NEXT DOOR.
YEAH, MY MOM'S NOT HOME.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS? OH, OK.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M AT McKINLEY.
YOU THINK YOU COULD PICK ME UP? 'SCUSE ME.
AREN' YOU DANNY TERRIO FROMDANCE FEVER? NO, I TOLD YOU, IT'S CHRISSY FROMTHREE'S COMPANY.
HA HA HA HA! WHAT DO YOU WANT, ALAN? I JUST WANNA KNOW SOMETHING.
EXACTLY HOW QUEER ARE YOU? SHUT UP.
NO, REALLY, REALLY, I'M SERIOUS.
YOU KNOW, JUST WHEN I THINK HE'S AS QUEER AS HE CAN BE, YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING EVEN QUEERER.
LET ME ALONE, ALAN! I'M SICK OF YOU! OH, MY GOD.
IT'S GO TIME! HEY! ALAN, HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BE COOL? TO BE COOL? I'M JUST TRYING TO TALK TO SAM.
YEAH, YEAH, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU GUYS WERE HAVING A REGULAR MEETING OF THE MINDS.
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, SAM? MR.
ROSSO I NEED A RIDE HOME.
IF THE HOUR HAND OF A CLOCK MOVES K RADIANS IN 48 MINUTES, THEN K EQUALS THEYE A TOUGH TEAM.
YOU NERVOUS? I DON' GET NERVOUS.
WOW.
THAT'S GREAT.
I WISH I WAS THAT CONFIDENT.
IT COMES WITH BEING FIRST BLOCK.
YEAH, I REMEMBER.
0.
4.
CORRECT.
[QUIET APPLAUSE.]
WELL, GUESS I'M UP.
WISH ME LUCK.
[APPLAUSE.]
Freaks: WOO! WOO HOO! QUESTION ONE: IF THE LONGER DIAGONAL OF A RHOMBUS IS 10, AND THE LARGE ANGLE IS 100 DEGREES, WHAT IS THE AREA OF THE RHOMBUS? CORRECT.
WOO! WOO HOO! YOU OK, SAM? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA CHANGE.
DO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL? I MEAN, I'M SICK OF EVERYBODY LAUGHING AT ME.
SO? LET 'EM LAUGH.
WHO CARES? SAM, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 20, I WAS HANGING OU IN THIS HONKY-TONK DOWN SOUTH WHEN A BIG BUNCH OF REDNECKS SURROUNDED ME.
STARTED MAKING JOKES ABOU MY FRINGE VEST, MY HAIR.
CALLING ME A HIPPIE, A WOMAN.
THEY DRAGGED ME INTO AN ALLEY, MADE ME DANCE, TOLD ME TO BARK LIKE A DOG.
DID YOU DO IT? YEAH.
PRETTY MUCH HAD TO, THERE WAS 10 OF THEM.
HEH.
WHAT HAPPENED? IT DOESN MATTER.
WHAT MATTERS IS THA I NEVER LOST PRIDE IN WHO I AM.
MR.
ROSSO, I DRESSED UP JUST TO IMPRESS CINDY SANDERS.
SAM, SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE THE DIRTIEST, STINKIEST GUYS YOU'LL EVER MEET, BUT THEY DATE MORE WOMEN THAN YOU OR I COULD EVER HOPE FOR.
IT'S ALL ABOU CONFIDENCE.
IT'S TRUE.
IF I SAY I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD AND I BELIEVE I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD, THEN SUDDENLY I BECOME THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD.
I'M TELLING YOU, IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT IT WORKS.
BUT I'M NOT COOL.
YOU'RE NOT? NO.
HMM.
WELL, THEN TAKE A LOOK AT THIS KID.
BECAUSE THAT'S A COOL KID.
ONE HORIZONTAL AND ONE VERTICAL ASYMPTOTE.
CORRECT.
WELL DONE, McKINLEY.
"IF ARCSINE X EQUALS 2 ARC COSINEX, THENX EQUALS" DAMN, I'VE NEVER FELT SO STUPID IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
0.
9.
Judge: CORRECT.
PERFECT ROUND TO McKINLEY.
[CHEERING.]
YOU WERE GREAT, LINDSAY.
YOU WERE SO GREAT.
YOU'RE A BORN MATHLETE.
OK, SHELLY, COME ON.
LET'S GIVE 'EM THAT OLD McKINLEY ONE-TWO PUNCH.
GOOD LUCK, SHELLY.
"A SPHERE IS INSCRIBED IN A CUBE.
"THE RATIO OF THE VOLUME OF THE SPHERE TO THE VOLUME OF THE CUBE IS" COME ON, SHELLY.
WE JUST WEN OVER THIS LAST WEEK.
0.
52:1.
CORRECT.
[QUIET APPLAUSE.]
DID YOU GUYS SEE SHELLY WHEN SHE MISSED THA SQUARE ROOT PROBLEM? SHE STARTED SWEATING LIKE A PIG.
Erin: HEY, MILLIE, NOW MAYBE KOWCHEVSKI WILL KICK HER OFF THE TEAM, AND YOU CAN GET YOUR BLOCK BACK.
I GUESS.
I HOPE SO.
I MEAN, I KIND OF FELT BAD FOR SHELLY, THOUGH.
FORGET HER.
SHE HAD IT COMING.
Erin: OH, HEY, YOU GUYS, COME HERE.
YOU'VE GOT TO SEE M.
I.
T.
's DORMS.
IF I THINK I'M COOL, THEN PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M COOL, TOO.
YEAH, THAT'S WHA MR.
ROSSO SAID.
YEAH, AND HE'S COOL.
YEAH, BUT I ALREADY THINK I'M COOL.
MAYBE THAT'SSO AM I.
BUT NOBODY EBECAUSE YOU'RE NOTI'M REALLY COOL.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM? YOU ACTUALLY DO SEEM COOLER ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I THINK IT'S WORKING.
MR.
ROSSO'S SOME KIND OF GENIUS.
Millie: LINDSAY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MILLIE, I GOTTA GO HOME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? ARE YOU GONNA GO USE YOUR OWN BATHROOM? NO, IT'S I JUS CAN'T DO THIS.
LY? YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN GREA HANGING OUT WITH YOU, BUT IT'S JUST NO WHERE I'M AT ANYMORE.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
WHATI DO BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE A MATHLETE.
THAT'S OK.
I UNDERSTAND.
BUT CAN WE STILL PLAY UNO SOMETIMES? I MEAN, WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO? YEAH, WE CAN ALWAYS DO THAT.
MILLIE, WE'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND TOMORROW, OK? [SUPERTRAMP'S TAKE THE LONG WAY HOMEPLAYS.]
Kim: HEY, DO YOU GUYS WANT TO MAYBE GO SEE A MIDNIGHT MOVIE? I THINK THERE'S A FOREIGN FILM PLAYING AT THE STATE THEATER.
A FOREIGN FILM? IS THAT THE KIND YOU HAVE TO READ? WHAT'S THE POINT? THE POINT IS TRYING NOT TO BE A DUMB ASS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT.
THAT'S THE POINT, APPARENTLY.
I'LL GO.
THANK YOU, BABE.
IT JUST BETTER NO BE ABOUT A GUY WHO TALKS A LOT.
[LAUGHS.]
HEY.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP? NOTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO? NOTHING.
ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST ABOU TO GO SEE A FOREIGN FILM.
COOL.
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE.
CAN I COME WITH YOU GUYS? SURE.
CAN WE BORROW YOUR DAD'S CAR? AWW.
SHUT UP, MAN.
COME ON, LINZE, YOU CAN RIDE WITH KIM AND ME.
COME ON.
LET'S GO.
HEY, LINDSAY? I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THA I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT OUR BREAK-UP.
I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING I REALLY WELL.
UH, THANKS, NICK.
I THINK I'LL BE OK.
Ken: HEY, I DIDN' GET ALL GUSSIED UP TO SIT HERE ALONE, MAN.
Nick: I'M COMING.
LET'S GO.
Daniel: FOLLOW ME, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING DOWN, DESARIO! Kim: COME ON, GET IN! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL DREAMWORKS L.
L.
C.
AND NCI LONG WAY HOME LONG WAY HOME LONG WAY HOME
[KIDS CHATTERING.]
HEY, UM MY FRIEND WAS WONDERING, UH IF I GAVE YOU A JOINT, WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME? WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT.
LINDSAY! HEY! HEY, GUESS WHAT? WE GOT A GIG.
YEAH.
STROKER'S BROTHER'S GONNA LET US PLAY AT HIS PARTY.
UH, HE'S EVEN GONNA LOAN US A MARSHALL STACK AND A PEAVEY BASS CABINET.
IT'S, LIKE, TOTAL PRO EQUIPMENT.
YEAH.
WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE ROOF OFF HIS GARAGE IN A MOST ROCK-TAGIOUS WAY.
WOW.
THAT'S REALLY GREAT, YOU GUYS.
SO WE JUST NEED YOUR PARENTS' STATION WAGON TO PICK UP THE AMPS.
WHAT? YOU GUYS CAN' USE MY PARENT'S CAR.
THEY'RE INSANE ABOUT IT.
MY DAD EVEN CALLS IT BETTY.
LINDSAY, PLEASE.
I MEAN, WE NEED TO GET THOSE AMPS.
DON'T BE LAME.
I'M NOT BEING LAME, DANIEL.
MY PARENTS ARE NEVER GONNA LET US BORROW THEIR STATION WAGON.
WELL, DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOUR MOM PLAYS BRIDGE OR SOMETHING ON TUESDAYS? YEAH, SO? SO, SHE WON' EVEN KNOW IT'S GONE.
JUST GRAB THE KEYS.
WE'LL BE BACK BEFORE SHE FINISHES THE FIRST HAND.
I DON'T KNOW.
OH! SQUIRREL! Kim: LINDSAY, WHOA! JEEZ, MY NECK! JUST RUN OVER THE STUPID SQUIRREL, LINZE.
LINDSA Lindsay: AW.
Y, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DRIVER.
SHUT UP, DANIEL.
YOU ARE.
Lindsay: HOW FAR IS THIS PLACE, JAPAN? NO.
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
IT'S ON THE NEXT BLOCK.
NO, DANIEL, I TOLD YOU.
IT'S NOT ON HANCOCK.
IT'S ON WARREN.
IT'S ON HANCOCK.
I WAS JUST THERE.
HEY, COULD YOU PU ON SOME REAL MUSIC? I HATE THIS NEW WAVE CRAP.
NO.
NO.
LEAVE IT ON, MAN.
THAT'S JOE JACKSON.
HIS BASS PLAYER'S UNBELIEVABLE, MAN.
HEY, THERE'S VALERIE'S HOUSE, YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY.
LIND NO, WE'RE NOT.
Y, PLEASE DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
I AM DRIVING NICE.
YEAH.
YEAH.
ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS 'CAUSE I GO A BIG ONE A-BREWING.
OH, NO.
PLEASE DON'T.
EW.
KEN, YOU BETTER NOT.
Ken: IT'S COMING! Lindsay: EW! THOSE MILLER FARTS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.
LINDSAY, THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE HOUSE OVER THERE! RIGHT THERE! Lindsay: WHERE? WATCH OUT! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION LIVIN' IN THE PAST, IT'S A NEW GENERATION GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THAT'S WHA I'M GONNA DO AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, MEME, ME, ME WHAH! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN OUT MY REPUTATION I'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF ANY DEVIATION AND I DON'T REALLY CARE IF YOU THINK I'M STRANGE I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE AND I'M NEVER GONNA CE 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION CAPTIONINGADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
CA BOOK.
I HATE BEING IN SCHOOL AFTER IT'S OUT.
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A JANITOR.
JANITORS ARE COOL.
I'D LIKE TO BE A JANITOR.
WHY? SO YOU CAN SHOW UP WITH THE RED SAWDUS AFTER A KID THROWS UP? NO.
'CAUSE JANITORS MAKE WAY MORE THAN TEACHERS.
IT MAKES UP FOR ALL THA GROSS STUFF THEY HAVE TO DO.
Todd: WHY? Cindy: OH, YOU.
BECAUSE I'M A GIRL.
COME ON, GIRLS CAN CALL GUYS.
GIRLS DO NOT CALL GUYS.
SURE, THEY DO.
NO, THEY DON'T.
COME ON.
WHAT'S SO GREA ABOUT HIM ANYWAY? IT'S THE HAIR.
Sam: OH, COME ON.
SHE LIKES HIM BECAUSE OF HIS HAIR? OF COURSE.
HE'S GO THE FEATHERED THING GOING.
GIRLS LOVE THAT.
YEAH.
ALL THE MEN MY MOM DATES HAVE FEATHERED HAIR.
I HEARD HER TALKING TO HER GIRLFRIENDS.
SHE SAID ANY GUY WITH FEATHERED HAIR IS FOXY.
BUT IT'S JUST HAIR.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD GIRLS CARE HOW YOU COMB IT? THAT'S WOMEN.
THEY GET TURNED ON BY WEIRD STUFF.
MY GOD, LOOK AT MY CAR! WHAT WERE YOU DOING? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT? I AM SO, SO SORRY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DIDN'T YOU SEE ME PULLING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY? HEY, LADY, SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL A LITTLE UPSET HERE.
DON'T TALK TO ME NOW.
DO NOT TALK TO ME.
BARBARA, COULD YOU CALL THE POLICE? THE POLICE?! COME ON, LADY! CALM THE HELL DOWN, ALL RIGHT? KIM, KNOCK IT OFF! GOD, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WHAT? LINDSAY, HOW IS THIS MY FAULT? OH.
"THAT'S THE HOUSE!" THAT'S WHEN YOU WERE-- HEY, HEY, HEY, GUYS! TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S BOTH YOUR FAULTS.
WHAT? THIS IS NO MY FAULT, DANIEL.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TALKED ME INTO THIS.
I DIDN'T TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE I AM GONNA BE IN? YOU ARE GONNA PAY FOR EVERY LAST CENT OF THIS DAMAGE, YOUNG LADY.
HEY, LADY.
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU MIGH NOT HAVE HEARD OF.
IT'S CALLED INSURANCE.
OH, PLEASE.
YOU JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME.
JUST STAY AWAY.
YEAH.
WHO WANTS TO BE NEAR YOU ANYWAYS.
YOU'RE TOO SEXY.
OH, PLEASE.
OH, MAN.
[DANIEL MOANS.]
OLICE.
YOU KNOW THAT? I COULD CALL THE POLICE AND REPORT THIS AS GRAND THEFT AUTO.
I CAN SEND MY OWN DYOU KNOW THAT? I'M SO SORRY, DADDY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LIEVE ANYTHINGYOU SAY ANYMORE.
WHY SHOULD I? YOU'RE GROUNDED.
I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU FOR HOW LONG.
YOU'LL BE COMING HOMEAND SITTING IN YOUR ROOM.
NO STEREO, NO RADIO, NO TV, NO NOTHING.
AND YOU ARE NO TO HANG OU WITH THOSE BURNT-OU FRIENDS OF YOURS EVER AGAIN.
EVER! DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T WORRY.
[SIGHS.]
I WON'T.
YOU'D BEER NOT.
HEY, LINDSAY.
I SAW THE SMASHED CAR IN YOUR DRIVEWAY.
JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE ARE YOU OK, LINDSAY? YEAH.
NO.
IT WAS SO TERRIBLE, MILLIE.
IT JUST DIDN'T SOUND LIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER HEARD.
IT WAS JUS THIS THUD.
IT WAS SO SCARY.
WHO WAS IN THE CAR WITH YOU? WHO DO YOU THINK? SORRY, LINDSAY.
IF Y OU WANT, I CAN GO GET MY UNO DECK.
NO.
I'M FINE.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MATHLETE SCRIMMAGE AGAINST NORTH LAKE? KATIE GOT SO NERVOUS WHEN SHE WENT UP TO DO HER ROUND THAT SHE GO A BLOODY NOSE.
AND THEN, SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT.
SHE HAD TO SNEEZE, AND SHE BLEW BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.
[LAUGHS.]
SHE LOOKED DOWN, AND SHE SAW IT ON HER SHIRT, AND SHE FAINTED.
UH-UH.
NO, SHE DIDN'T.
WELL, NO, BUT SHE WAS GONNA.
IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.
SO, HOW'S THE TEAM DOING THIS YEAR? THEY, UH-- IT'S BEEN COOL.
NOT AS FUN AS LAST YEAR.
I REALLY MISS YOU, LINDSAY.
ALL THE MATHLETES DO.
[SLIKID BY THE WHO PLAYS.]
I'VE GOT MY CLIPBOARD, TEXTBOOKS LEAD ME TO THE STATION OH, MAN.
HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS ON WITHOUT MESSING UP MY HAIR? [RIP.]
GONNA RUN TILL MY FEET ARE RAW SLIP KID, SLIP KID MAN! I'M A SOLDIER AT 13 SLIP KID, SLIP KID, REALIZATION THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO BE FREE NO EASY WAY TO BE FREE BOY, I CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH THOSE PIRATES ARE GONNA CHARGE ME.
JUST PRETEND YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT CARS.
BUT I DON'T.
THEY CAN SMELL IT, THE BLOODSUCKERS.
YEAH-- WHAT'S THE MATTER? LINDSAY, YOU WANT SOME BACON? NO, THANKS, MOM.
I'M JUST GONNA HAVE SOME JUICE.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
WHAT? SAM.
HEY, DAD.
SAMMY, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
JUST LIKE ONE OF THE HARDY BOYS.
THANKS.
HEY, SAM, WAIT UP.
BYE, MOM.
BYE, DAD.
WOW.
MY GOODNESS.
DON'T THE WEIRS LOOK NICE TODAY? Both: THANK YOU.
SEE YOU.
SEE YOU, SAM.
HA HA HA HA! WHAT, DID YOU JUS COME FROM CHURCH? SO, HOW'D THINGS GO WITH YOUR DAD? WAS HE PISSED? NO.
NOT AT ALL.
HE WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT I STOLE HIS CAR AND SMASHED IT.
HEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, THE PARTY GOT MOVED TILL TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANIEL? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER 'CAUSE NOW I'M GROUNDED, SO I CAN'T GO TO ANY OF YOUR STUPID PARTIES, EVER.
WHY DON'T YOU JUS SNEAK OUT? WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO HELL? [LAUGHS.]
WHOA.
GOD, LINDSAY.
OH, SHUT UP, KIM! I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS GETTING ME IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME.
I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS, PERIOD.
MAYBE YOU'RE JUS ON YOUR PERIOD.
[KEN LAUGHS.]
YEAH, DANIEL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
I'M ON MY PERIOD.
YOU FIGURED IT OUT.
IT WAS A JOKE.
OH, SORRY.
IT'S HARD TO PICK UP ON THE SUBTLETY OF YOUR WIT.
WHAT'S UP YOUR BUTT, PRINCESS? YOU ARE, DANIEL! I'M TIRED OF YOU USING ME.
YOU'RE THE MOST SELFISH PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING SMAR OR GOING TO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIVES ARE SUCH LOST CAUSES, DON'T KEEP ASSUMING THAT MINE IS.
WHAT WAS THA ALL ABOUT? I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.
SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW, WHO ASKED HER TO HANG OU WITH US ANYWAYS? LIKE WE NEED HER LITTLE JUDGMENTS ALL THE TIME.
MY LIFE AIN' A LOST CAUSE, YOU KNOW? HERS IS.
SHE'S JUST A BIG BABY.
I TOLD YOU GUYS THA FROM DAY ONE.
IT'S LIKE HANGING OU WITH MY GRANDMA.
YEAH.
WELL, LITTLE MISS PERFEC DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT MY PLANS ARE.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOUR PLANS? I GOT A LOT OF PLANS.
LIKE? WHO ARE YOU, MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR? WHAT AREYOUGONNA DO? I'M GONNA WAI FOR MY DAD TO DIE SO I INHERIT HIS COMPANY.
THEN I'M GONNA SELL I AND MOVE TO HAWAII.
GREAT PLAN.
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING BETTER COMING OUT OF YOU.
WELL I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, A LAWYER OR SOMETHING.
I'M GONNA PU THE POLE ON TRIAL.
I'M GONNA GET GUYS OUT OF JAIL AND STUFF.
YOU KNOW? YEAH.
MAYBE YOU CAN BREAK DANIEL OUT OF THERE.
SCREW YOU, MAN.
I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL.
OK.
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING? PLENTY.
NOW IF YOU'RE DONE GRILLING ME, MR.
ROSSO, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A DOLLAR SO I CAN GE SOME SNO-BALLS? OK.
YOU GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, THIS--IT'S NO ABOUT THE ACCIDENT.
LINDSAY'S REALLY DEPRESSED THAT I BROKE UP WITH HER.
SHE'S GOT TO GET OVER I THOUGH, YOU KNOW? YEAH, NICK.
SURE.
SO, I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA BE, LIKE, A PSYCHIATRIS OR SOMETHING.
NO.
I'M GONNA BE A DEEJAY, MAN.
AND MAYBE, UM, A LUMBERJACK.
THE NAME OF THE COMPANY IS TEXAS INSTRUMENTS, BUT I HEARD IT'S MADE IN TAIWAN.
[ALL LAUGH.]
HEY.
IS IT OK IF I SIT HERE? YEAH.
SIT DOWN, LINDSAY.
HI, CAREY.
HI.
HI, ERIN.
HI.
LOOK, LINDSAY.
ERIN GOT A NEW CALCULATOR.
IT GRAPHS AND EVERYTHING.
I GOT I FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
THAT'S COOL.
CAN I SEE IT? Erin: YEAH.
DO YOU HAVE A CALCULATOR, LINDSAY? NO.
MY DAD WON'T BUY ME ONE.
HE SAYS EINSTEIN DID FINE WITHOUT ONE AND SO SHOULD I.
YOU DON'T NEED ONE, LINDSAY.
YEAH.
REMEMBER THAT JUDGE AT THE INTRA-DISTRICTS LAST YEAR? HE CALLED YOU THE HUMAN CALCULATOR.
OH, YEAH.
Millie: I THINK HE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU.
WHAT? EW, HE WAS, LIKE, 40 YEARS OLD.
THAT'S SO GROSS.
HEY, LINDSAY, I'M HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT.
ALL THE MATHLETES ARE GONNA BE THERE.
YOU WANNA GO? WELL YEAH, I WOULD, BUT I'M GROUNDED.
OH, YEAH.
WELL, YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR DAD.
IT'S JUST ACROSS THE STREET.
IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF FUN.
YEAH? WELL, I MAYBE.
'S AN INTERESTING LOOK, SAM.
NAW.
YOUR HAIR'S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO BE FEATHERED.
I THINK IT LOOKS WEIRD, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ALL FANCY OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY WITH HOW YOU LOOK, SAM.
MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHA THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU.
WELL, THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU A LOT, GORDON.
Neal & Sam: BILL! MY WHOLE FAMILY'S BIG-BONED.
IT'S GENETIC.
BESIDES, THE WORLD LOVES JOLLY FAT GUYS.
BURL IVES, JACKIE GLEASON SANTA CLAUS, UH, CURLY, RAYMOND BURR.
NO.
RAYMOND BURR'S NOT JOLLY.
WELL, HE WAS EXTREMELY NICE TO ME AT LAST YEAR'S AUTO SHOW.
HEY.
DO ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE A PENCIL I COULD BORROW? OH, HEY, CINDY.
HOW'S IT GOING? IT'S OK.
TODAY IN CHEMISTRY, I SAT ON A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE AND HAD TO GO HOME AND CHANGE MY PANTS.
[LAUGHS.]
OH.
YEAH.
SAM, DID YOU WEAR A HAT TODAY? BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS KIND OF FLAT.
GOT ONE.
Cindy: THANKS.
I'LL BRING I RIGHT BACK.
YOU BETTER.
OH, MAN.
YOU CAN'T JUST COMB YOUR HAIR DIFFEREN AND EXPECT CINDY TO START LIKING YOU.
YOU HAVE TO DRESS DIFFERENT, TOO.
I DRESS OK.
SAM, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER DRESSES YOU.
[SCOFFS.]
HEY, WELL, AT LEAS I DON'T DRESS LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY.
DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER.
I KNOW I LOOK GOOD.
I DRESS WELL, AND I GROOM MYSELF PROPERLY.
LOOK AROUND.
THE WHOLE SCHOOL DRESSES BETTER THAN YOU DO.
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
PIRATES.
WE LIVE RIGH OUTSIDE DETROIT, AND THEY CAN' FIND A FENDER? NOW I GET 2 WEEKS OF DRIVING AROUND TOWN LOOKING LIKE SOME KIND OF HILLBILLY.
HEY, DAD, CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY? HMM? UH, I WANNA BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES TOMORROW.
OH, SAMMY, I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MALL.
WE'LL USE MY CREDIT CARDS.
AND THEN WE CAN GO TO MAGIC PAN AND GET CREPES-- OH, NO.
MOM! YOU ALWAYS GET ME SOMETHING STUPID, LIKE GARANIMALS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I WANNA BUY MY OWN CLOTHES.
Harold: GOOD IDEA, SAM.
A MAN HAS TO LEARN TO DRESS HIMSELF.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO CUT THOSE APRON STRINGS SOMETIME.
DAD? I WAS THINKING OF GOING BACK TO THE MATHLETES AND I'LL HAVE TO STAY AFTER SCHOOL FOR PRACTICE.
IS THAT OK? Lindsay: DAD? WELL, YEAH.
I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE OK.
BUT IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF PLOY, THEN HEAVEN HELP YOU.
IT'S NOT A PLOY.
AND THANKS.
OK.
OK.
WHAT'S THE GAG? THERE IS NO GAG.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME BACK ON THE TEAM.
I'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU BACK ON THE TEAM IF YOU'RE SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS.
THAT'S GREAT.
THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM, LINDSAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT YOU IN THE RESERVES.
REALLY? AREN'T THERE ANY OPEN BLOCKS? NO.
IT'S A BIG TEAM THIS YEAR.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU STAR COMING TO PRACTICES UNTIL YOU GET CAUGHT UP, AND MAYBE IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS, WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.
ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
[BELL RINGS.]
I GOT TO GO TO CLASS.
NO.
COME ON.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
DEZ GAVE ME THE KEYS TO HIS PLACE.
WE'LL GO EARN SOME EXTRA BIOLOGY CREDIT.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? I TOLD YOU.
I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS.
OH.
OK, LINDSAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP, MAN! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GUY THAT HAD ALL THESE BIG PLANS.
YEAH.
I WENT TO ALL MY CLASSES YESTERDAY.
I COULD BARELY STAY AWAKE.
THEN DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE AND GET IT TOGETHER, DANIEL.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
SO, CARL SAGAN SAY "THAT'S NOT A COSINE.
YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR ASYMPTOTE FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
" [LAUGHING.]
OH, HI, LINDSAY.
HEY, SHELLY.
I HEAR THA YOU HAVE TO BE ON THE RESERVES.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
YOU KNOW, SHELLY, IF YOU GIVE UP FIRST BLOCK, THEN LINDSAY COULD HAVE HER SPOT BACK ON THE TEAM.
MILLIE.
JUST KIDDING.
DON'T KID ABOUT FIRST BLOCK.
[NERVOUS GIGGLE.]
SORRY.
YOU KNOW, M.
I.
T.
LOOKS WAY MORE CAREFULLY AT YOUR APPLICATION IF YOU'VE BEEN A FIRST BLOCK.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD GIVE UP BEING FIRST BLOCK JUST TO HANG OU WITH FREAKS.
GOD, SHELLY! IT'S TRUE! I'M NOT PUTTING HER DOWN.
I MEAN, THEY'RE THE ONES WHO MADE HER GET INTO THAT CAR ACCIDENT.
I BET YOU THEY WERE ALL HIGH.
NOBODY WAS HIGH.
OH.
WAS THA KIM GIRL WITH YOU? SHE'S PREGNANT, YOU KNOW.
MY NEIGHBOR WORKS AT THE FREE CLINIC, AND HE SAID THA HE SAWER OVER THERE THE OTHER DAY.
JUST BECAUSE A GIRL CHOOSES TO LIVE HER LIFE DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DO DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S AUTOMATICALLY BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT.
I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS BAREFOOT.
I MEAN, DON'T GET ALL MAD.
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN I DO.
MR.
KOWCHEVSKI, I NT YOU TO MAKE ME FIRST BLOCK.
NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO! LOOK, AT LEAST PUT ME BACK ON THE TEAM.
I AM THE BEST PERSON AT MATH IN THIS SCHOOL.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT I'M THE BEST PERSON AT MATH IN THIS SCHOOL.
OK.
BUT, COME ON, LET'S CUT THE CRAP, KOWCHEVSKI.
[SIGHS.]
OK.
YOU'RE RIGHT, LINDSAY, THE TEAM NEEDS YOU DESPERATELY.
I MEAN, IF IT WASN'T FOR SHELLY, WE'D BE IN THE TOILET.
I CANNOT BOUNCE ANYONE FROM THIS TEAM.
THEY'VE BEEN COMING EVERY DAY, LINDSAY, IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
THIS IS THE MATHLETES, NOT THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S STILL A TEAM.
SO IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A TEAM, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A WINNING ONE.
OTHERWISE, WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF COMPETING? [DISCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
LOOKS LIKE A DISCO.
HEY, GUY, YOU CAN' EAT IN HERE.
I'M NOT DONE.
I CAN' THROW IT AWAY.
WELL, I CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING MUSTARD ALL OVER OUR GARMENTS.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT OUTSIDE.
NO, NO, NO.
THERE.
ALL GONE.
EXCELLENT.
WELL, UH, WHAT CAN I HELP YOU GENTS OUT WITH TODAY? YEAH, UH, I WANNA BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES.
SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE BEST-DRESSED KID IN SCHOOL.
WELL, I'VE GO A QUESTION FOR YOU.
YOU WANNA BE A STUD, OR DO YOU WANNA BE A SUPER STUD? SUPER STUD, SAM.
GO FOR SUPER STUD.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
WALK THIS WAY.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
CHECK IT OUT! IT'S THE LATES THING IN.
IT'S THE HOTTES THING GOING IN EUROPE RIGHT NOW.
WHAT IS IT? THIS IS A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, AND I PREDICT EVERY TRENDSETTING GUY IN THIS CITY'S GONNA OWN ONE.
WOW.
REALLY? REALLY IS RIGHT.
BUY THIS GARMENT, AND I GUARANTEE YOU'LL BE PERCEIVED AS A MAN OF DISTINCTION BY THE LADIES.
I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, GUYS, LOOK AT ME.
YOU KNOW, I'M NO A HANDSOME MAN, BUT I LEARNED HOW TO STYLE MY HAIR, STARTED WEARING SOME OF THESE CLOTHES.
IT'S BEEN PRETTY COOL.
ALL RIGHT, GANG.
I'VE HAD TO MAKE SOME TOUGH DECISIONS ABOUT WHO'S GONNA BE COMPETING TOMORROW, AND SOME OF YOU ARE NOT GONNA LIKE THAT.
LINDSAY, YOU'RE ON THE TEAM.
SHE REJOINS AND GETS INTO COMPETITION IN ONE DAY? THAT'S NOT FAIR! NO, SHELLY, IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT IF WE LOSE AGAINST LINCOLN TOMORROW, WE'RE GONNA BLOW OUR HOME ADVANTAGE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
THIS IS JUS A LITTLE INSURANCE.
WELL, THEN, WHO'S GONNA GET BUMPED? WELL, THAT'S STRICTLY A DECISION BASED ON THE LAST FEW PRACTICES.
MILLIE, WOULD YOU MIND SITTING OUT TOMORROW? OH.
NO, MR.
KOWCHEVSKI.
THAT'S FINE.
I DON'T MIND.
NO, MR.
KOWCHEVSKI, I--I DON'T THINK MILLIE SHOULD-- NO, LINDSAY.
THAT'S COOL.
THE TEAM REALLY NEEDS YOU.
NO, WE DON'T! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR TO YOU, MILLIE.
I SAID IT'S OK, SHELLY.
Care y: DOESN'T MATTER.
SHE'S NOT-- THIS IS UNFAIR TO ALL OF US! YOU KNOW, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! THIS IS MY BUSINESS! NO, IT'S NOT.
SHELLY, I'M NOT TRYING-- Mr.
Kowchevski: LADIES, LADIES! THIS IS JUS FOR TOMORROW'S SCRIMMAGE.
THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHOPPER OUT OF SAIGON, SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST CRANK DOWN THE DRAMA A NOTCH, OK? [FLAMETHROWERBY J.
GEILS BAND PLAYING.]
OW! OW! HEY, CINDY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? HEY! HEY, CINDY! HEY, CINDY, WHAT'S UP? HEY, OUCH! OW! OW! OH? OH! WELL, SHE'S A FLAME FLA-A-A-AME FLAMETHROWER, SHE'S A LET'S YOU AND ME GET OUTTA HERE.
SHE'S A FLAME FLA-A-A-AME A RED-HOT BLOWER, SHE'S A FLAMETHROWER TONIGH OW! JEEZ, MILLIE, DON'T YOU EVER CLEAN YOUR ROOM? I JUST DID.
I'M REALLY GLAD MR.
KOWCHEVSKI KICKED ME OFF THE TEAM SO YOU CAN BE ON IT.
HE DIDN'T KICK YOU OFF THE TEAM, MILLIE.
HE JUST PUT YOU ON THE RESERVES.
YEAH, I KNOW.
DON'T WORRY.
HOW MUCH DOES SHELLY KNOW ABOUT TRIG? IS SHE GOOD AT IT? I THINK SO .
WE DON'T HAVE TOO MANY TRIG QUESTIONS.
YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU DO, DOES SHE GET 'EM RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW.
I FORGET.
MILLIE! COME ON, THINK! IF I'M GONNA BLOW SHELLY OUT OF THE WATER, I GOTTA KNOW THIS STUFF.
THINK MR.
KOWCHEVSKI'LL MOVE YOU TO FIRST BLOCK? HE'D BETTER.
IF I'M GONNA BE THE MATHLETES, I'M GONNA BE NUMBER ONE, OR ELSE I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
HEY, MOM.
HEY, HONEY.
I THINK I'M GONNA EA IN MY ROOM SO I CAN CRAM FOR THE SCRIMMAGE.
OH, LINDSAY, YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING NONSTOP.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE BREAK? MOM, I CAN'T.
NOT IF I WANNA WIN.
LINDSAY, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN COMPETITION.
NOT IF YOU WAN TO WIPE OUT SHELLY WEAVER.
AH.
IS SHE FROM LINCOLN? NO, SHE'S ON OUR TEAM.
OH.
HEY, LINDSAY? WHAT? ARE YOU HAVING FUN? YEAH.
COURSE I AM.
[JOE JACKSON'SLOOK SHARP PLAYING.]
HI.
HEY.
OK WHAT YOU SAY HEY! HELLO! GO ON AND LAUGH AT ME 'CAUSE YOU DON'T SEE THAT I GOT SOMETHING GOING RIGHT HERE [STUDENTS LAUGHING.]
YOU GOTTA LOOK SHARP YOU GOTTA LOOK SHARP AND YOU GOTTA HAVE NO ILLUSIONS WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? OH, MAN.
WHOA! HEY, HENSON, LOOK! IT'S THE NEW DISCO KEN DOLL! HA HA HA HA! HEY, PULL THE STRING AND MAKE HIM TALK! Neal: I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN LIGHT THEM.
IT'S METHANE.
YEAH, BUT WHA IF THE FLAME GOES BACK INSIDE YOU? DO YOU-- DO YOU EXPLODE? HEY! OH, MY GOD.
I GUESS ELVIS HASN'T LEF THE BUILDING.
HEY, DON' MAKE FUN OF HIM.
TH AT'S A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
HEY, YOU GUYS-- A PARISIAN? OOH LA LA! NO, NO.
IT'S A JUMPSUIT.
MY GRANDPA IN FORT LAUDERDALE BE WEARS THEM ALL THE TIME CAUSE HE'S TOO LAZY TO PUT ON PANTS.
LISTEN! I GOTTA GET OUT OUT OF HERE! HEAD FOR THE FRONT DOOR.
HEY, HEY, WHAT T-- WHY DID YOU BUY THAT? HEY, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID I SHOULD DRESS BETTER.
YEAH, I DIDN'T SAY YOU SHOULD DRESS LIKE EVEL KNIEVEL.
HEY, GUYS, I THINK WE'RE DIRECTING MORE ATTENTION TOWARD US BY DOING THIS.
THIS IS COOL.
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE SECRE SERVICE.
GET ME TO THE FRONT DOOR.
[BELL RINGS.]
TEST.
HEY, WHA ARE YOU DOING? W-WE GOTTA GO.
WE GOT A POP QUIZ IN WHITMAN'S CLASS, REMEMBER? OH, MAN! OK, UH OK, TELL WHITMAN THAT I MISSED THE BUS.
OK.
'SCUSE ME.
WHERE YOU GOING? YEAH, UH, I WAS JUS GONNA GO OUTSIDE TO GET SOMETHING.
YEAH? WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE GOING OU TO DRIVE A BUS, YOU'D BETTER TURN AROUND AND GET YOUR BUT TO CLASS.
SORRY.
NICE DUD JUNIOR.
OK, NOW, WHO WANTS TO TAKE A CRACK AT IDENTIFYING ALL THE PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES IN THESE SENTENCES? NO TAKERS, HUH? OKSAM.
DO YOU WANT TO COME UP HERE AND GIVE IT A SHOT? COME ON, SAM.
MAKE ME PROUD.
MY, DON'T YOU LOOK NICE! Jock: [COUGHS.]
HOMO.
Second jock: [COUGHS.]
HOMO.
[SCATTERED INSULTING COUGHS.]
HEY, HEY, HEY! NOW--NOW IF SAM WEARING SOMETHING DIFFEREN TO EXPRESS HIS INDIVIDUALITY MAKES HIM A "HOMO," WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE SHOULD ALL BE PROUD TO BE "HOMOS.
" NOW YOU GO AHEAD, SAM.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BEAT ME UP, ARE YOU? NO.
WHAT ARE YOU READING? THE, UH, THE MONSTER MANUAL.
IT'S ADUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK.
DO YOU PLAY? NO.
YOU SHOULD.
YOU'D MAKE A GOO D DUNGEON MASTER.
I CAN TELL.
YEAH? OH, YEAH.
THANKS.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? SURE.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF ME? EXCUSE ME? [SIGHS.]
WELL, IF SOMEONE ASKED YOU "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DANIEL DESARIO?" WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? WOULD YOU SAY HE'S A LOSER? UM, UM, NO.
NO, YOU'RE NOT A LOSER, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE SEX.
BUT, IF YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX, THEN WE COULD DEFINITELY DEBATE THE ISSUE.
RIGHT.
YOU GE GOOD GRADES, HUH? YEAH, DON'T YOU? NO.
I GE TERRIBLE GRADES.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL 'CAUSE I THINK ABOUT HOW BAD I'M REALLY DOING.
I WAS EVEN LEFT BACK ONCE.
OUCH.
WELL TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
SOMEONE SENT MY DAD A CARD WITH THAT ON I FOR HIS 65th BIRTHDAY.
YOU'RE DAD'S 65? 70 NOW.
WHEN I'M 45 HE'LL BE 100.
[LAUGHS.]
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY, HARRIS.
YEAH, I MEAN, YOU DO YOUR OWN THING.
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF.
YOU GOT I PRETYEAH, I GUESS I DO.
I DON'T HAVE SEX, THOUGH.
OK, PEOPLE, LISTEN UP.
LET'S NOT GET COCKY JUST 'CAUSE WE HAVE THE HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE.
NOW YOU ALL KNOW YOUR STUFF, SO JUST STAY CLEARHEADED, AND WE BLAZE THROUGH THIS.
NOW LET'S GO KICK SOME LINCOLN BUTT! Everybody, softly: YEAH! COME ON! LET'S GO.
GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY.
GOOD LUCK, SHELLY.
THANKS.
SAME TO YOU.
GOOD LUCK, LINDSAY.
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU DON'T NEED IT.
[WHISPERING.]
Go, First Block! NICK? OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT AREYOU DOING HERE? I WAS JUST, UM, KILLING SOME TIME.
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GET GOING.
MRS.
AMENDELLA? HI, IT'S SAM FROM NEXT DOOR.
YEAH, MY MOM'S NOT HOME.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS? OH, OK.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M AT McKINLEY.
YOU THINK YOU COULD PICK ME UP? 'SCUSE ME.
AREN' YOU DANNY TERRIO FROMDANCE FEVER? NO, I TOLD YOU, IT'S CHRISSY FROMTHREE'S COMPANY.
HA HA HA HA! WHAT DO YOU WANT, ALAN? I JUST WANNA KNOW SOMETHING.
EXACTLY HOW QUEER ARE YOU? SHUT UP.
NO, REALLY, REALLY, I'M SERIOUS.
YOU KNOW, JUST WHEN I THINK HE'S AS QUEER AS HE CAN BE, YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING EVEN QUEERER.
LET ME ALONE, ALAN! I'M SICK OF YOU! OH, MY GOD.
IT'S GO TIME! HEY! ALAN, HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BE COOL? TO BE COOL? I'M JUST TRYING TO TALK TO SAM.
YEAH, YEAH, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU GUYS WERE HAVING A REGULAR MEETING OF THE MINDS.
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, SAM? MR.
ROSSO I NEED A RIDE HOME.
IF THE HOUR HAND OF A CLOCK MOVES K RADIANS IN 48 MINUTES, THEN K EQUALS THEYE A TOUGH TEAM.
YOU NERVOUS? I DON' GET NERVOUS.
WOW.
THAT'S GREAT.
I WISH I WAS THAT CONFIDENT.
IT COMES WITH BEING FIRST BLOCK.
YEAH, I REMEMBER.
0.
4.
CORRECT.
[QUIET APPLAUSE.]
WELL, GUESS I'M UP.
WISH ME LUCK.
[APPLAUSE.]
Freaks: WOO! WOO HOO! QUESTION ONE: IF THE LONGER DIAGONAL OF A RHOMBUS IS 10, AND THE LARGE ANGLE IS 100 DEGREES, WHAT IS THE AREA OF THE RHOMBUS? CORRECT.
WOO! WOO HOO! YOU OK, SAM? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA CHANGE.
DO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL? I MEAN, I'M SICK OF EVERYBODY LAUGHING AT ME.
SO? LET 'EM LAUGH.
WHO CARES? SAM, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 20, I WAS HANGING OU IN THIS HONKY-TONK DOWN SOUTH WHEN A BIG BUNCH OF REDNECKS SURROUNDED ME.
STARTED MAKING JOKES ABOU MY FRINGE VEST, MY HAIR.
CALLING ME A HIPPIE, A WOMAN.
THEY DRAGGED ME INTO AN ALLEY, MADE ME DANCE, TOLD ME TO BARK LIKE A DOG.
DID YOU DO IT? YEAH.
PRETTY MUCH HAD TO, THERE WAS 10 OF THEM.
HEH.
WHAT HAPPENED? IT DOESN MATTER.
WHAT MATTERS IS THA I NEVER LOST PRIDE IN WHO I AM.
MR.
ROSSO, I DRESSED UP JUST TO IMPRESS CINDY SANDERS.
SAM, SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE THE DIRTIEST, STINKIEST GUYS YOU'LL EVER MEET, BUT THEY DATE MORE WOMEN THAN YOU OR I COULD EVER HOPE FOR.
IT'S ALL ABOU CONFIDENCE.
IT'S TRUE.
IF I SAY I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD AND I BELIEVE I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD, THEN SUDDENLY I BECOME THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD.
I'M TELLING YOU, IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT IT WORKS.
BUT I'M NOT COOL.
YOU'RE NOT? NO.
HMM.
WELL, THEN TAKE A LOOK AT THIS KID.
BECAUSE THAT'S A COOL KID.
ONE HORIZONTAL AND ONE VERTICAL ASYMPTOTE.
CORRECT.
WELL DONE, McKINLEY.
"IF ARCSINE X EQUALS 2 ARC COSINEX, THENX EQUALS" DAMN, I'VE NEVER FELT SO STUPID IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
0.
9.
Judge: CORRECT.
PERFECT ROUND TO McKINLEY.
[CHEERING.]
YOU WERE GREAT, LINDSAY.
YOU WERE SO GREAT.
YOU'RE A BORN MATHLETE.
OK, SHELLY, COME ON.
LET'S GIVE 'EM THAT OLD McKINLEY ONE-TWO PUNCH.
GOOD LUCK, SHELLY.
"A SPHERE IS INSCRIBED IN A CUBE.
"THE RATIO OF THE VOLUME OF THE SPHERE TO THE VOLUME OF THE CUBE IS" COME ON, SHELLY.
WE JUST WEN OVER THIS LAST WEEK.
0.
52:1.
CORRECT.
[QUIET APPLAUSE.]
DID YOU GUYS SEE SHELLY WHEN SHE MISSED THA SQUARE ROOT PROBLEM? SHE STARTED SWEATING LIKE A PIG.
Erin: HEY, MILLIE, NOW MAYBE KOWCHEVSKI WILL KICK HER OFF THE TEAM, AND YOU CAN GET YOUR BLOCK BACK.
I GUESS.
I HOPE SO.
I MEAN, I KIND OF FELT BAD FOR SHELLY, THOUGH.
FORGET HER.
SHE HAD IT COMING.
Erin: OH, HEY, YOU GUYS, COME HERE.
YOU'VE GOT TO SEE M.
I.
T.
's DORMS.
IF I THINK I'M COOL, THEN PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M COOL, TOO.
YEAH, THAT'S WHA MR.
ROSSO SAID.
YEAH, AND HE'S COOL.
YEAH, BUT I ALREADY THINK I'M COOL.
MAYBE THAT'SSO AM I.
BUT NOBODY EBECAUSE YOU'RE NOTI'M REALLY COOL.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM? YOU ACTUALLY DO SEEM COOLER ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I THINK IT'S WORKING.
MR.
ROSSO'S SOME KIND OF GENIUS.
Millie: LINDSAY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MILLIE, I GOTTA GO HOME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? ARE YOU GONNA GO USE YOUR OWN BATHROOM? NO, IT'S I JUS CAN'T DO THIS.
LY? YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN GREA HANGING OUT WITH YOU, BUT IT'S JUST NO WHERE I'M AT ANYMORE.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
WHATI DO BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE A MATHLETE.
THAT'S OK.
I UNDERSTAND.
BUT CAN WE STILL PLAY UNO SOMETIMES? I MEAN, WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO? YEAH, WE CAN ALWAYS DO THAT.
MILLIE, WE'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND TOMORROW, OK? [SUPERTRAMP'S TAKE THE LONG WAY HOMEPLAYS.]
Kim: HEY, DO YOU GUYS WANT TO MAYBE GO SEE A MIDNIGHT MOVIE? I THINK THERE'S A FOREIGN FILM PLAYING AT THE STATE THEATER.
A FOREIGN FILM? IS THAT THE KIND YOU HAVE TO READ? WHAT'S THE POINT? THE POINT IS TRYING NOT TO BE A DUMB ASS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT.
THAT'S THE POINT, APPARENTLY.
I'LL GO.
THANK YOU, BABE.
IT JUST BETTER NO BE ABOUT A GUY WHO TALKS A LOT.
[LAUGHS.]
HEY.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP? NOTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO? NOTHING.
ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST ABOU TO GO SEE A FOREIGN FILM.
COOL.
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE.
CAN I COME WITH YOU GUYS? SURE.
CAN WE BORROW YOUR DAD'S CAR? AWW.
SHUT UP, MAN.
COME ON, LINZE, YOU CAN RIDE WITH KIM AND ME.
COME ON.
LET'S GO.
HEY, LINDSAY? I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THA I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT OUR BREAK-UP.
I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING I REALLY WELL.
UH, THANKS, NICK.
I THINK I'LL BE OK.
Ken: HEY, I DIDN' GET ALL GUSSIED UP TO SIT HERE ALONE, MAN.
Nick: I'M COMING.
LET'S GO.
Daniel: FOLLOW ME, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING DOWN, DESARIO! Kim: COME ON, GET IN! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL DREAMWORKS L.
L.
C.
AND NCI LONG WAY HOME LONG WAY HOME LONG WAY HOME