Fuller House (2016) s01e11 Episode Script

1 Hey, little mummy.
Where'd you come from? A little help here? Oh.
I think I know.
All the toilet paper's gone.
And I've got a situation.
Tommy, when you use the last piece of toilet paper, you really should put on a new roll.
It's common courtesy, kid.
Here, Max.
Help yourself.
This will not meet my needs.
You know what? Just give me the whole baby.
Good morning.
And now, good night.
Stephanie, you're just coming home from last night? Is this what the kids call the walk of shame? There's no shame.
And no walk.
I took an Uber.
I had the best night last night.
It so happens that your little sister is now a little famous.
Okay, there are no kids in the room.
I guess it's safe to ask "what for"? Well, since I broke up with Hunter Pence on national TV, singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," every single guy in the city wants to take me out for peanuts and crackerjack.
And tequila shots.
- Aspirin? - Ugh.
No.
Mylanta.
Are you mocking me? How rude.
No.
I need my Mylanta.
Ugh! So, how was your first date with Matt in the "Who Gets to Be D.
J.
's Boyfriend, Matt or Steve" contest? It's not a contest.
I wasn't even looking to date, and then two great guys asked me out.
I said okay because I'm polite.
And they're hot.
But who's winning? Well, I haven't been out with Steve yet, but my date with Matt last night was fantastic.
When I'm with him, I think he's the guy.
So Matt's winning.
Yeah, but then when I'm with Steve, I think he's the guy.
So Steve's winning? I don't know.
Just give me a hit of that Mylanta.
I get it.
Some decisions are just tough.
Like, when I'm in bed today, do I watch The View, The Talk, or The Real? A, you need a job.
B, always go with The View.
Yeah.
I'll be there at eleven.
The bouncy castle and the Fairy Princess get there at noon.
Of course there will be booze.
It's a children's party.
Deej, don't worry.
Gibbler Style's got this kiddie gig today, but everything's ready for your boss's retirement party.
About the party, Dr.
Harmon just emailed me.
He wants to change it to an Indian theme.
Instead of retiring to Florida, he's moving to an ashram in Mumbai.
But I already have a whole senior citizen theme ready to go.
Shuffleboard, dinner at 4:30 then we're going to yell at some kids to get off the lawn.
You have got to make this happen.
I'm pretty sure that Dr.
Harmon is going to announce that I'll be taking over the pet clinic.
I'll finally be my own boss.
Aw.
All those years of being bossy finally paid off.
It has always been a dream of mine to own my own pet clinic.
Well, that, and being five-ten.
But this one can actually come true.
But how can I change a whole party in one day? It's not like I have a magic wand.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
I got a whole bag of them.
But to do this last minute, I'm going to need to hire some help.
Why are you looking at me? I have a very busy day planned.
You're watching The View.
And tweeting about it.
You know, that Raven Simone is never wrong.
Oh, what does she know? She's a child actress.
But you could use the money while you try to launch your singing career.
I have an open mic night booked next week at Joe's Coffee Shop.
What's it pay? Well, actually, I have to pay them.
- Alright, I'm in.
- Not so fast.
I can't hire someone off the street without conducting an interview.
Have a seat, Ms.
Tanner.
Okay.
How did you first hear about Gibbler Style? From that dumb t-shirt you're wearing.
- Applicant is snarky and - smells like tequila.
I'll need to check your references.
Yes, Kimmy? Oh.
I hope this isn't a bad time.
I'm calling in regards to a Stephanie Tanner.
- What can you tell me about her? - She's broke.
Just hire her.
Well, your references check out.
And I'm desperate.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Gibbler Style Party Planning.
- Thank you, Kimmy.
- Uh-uh.
During business hours, you shall refer to me as Ms.
Gibbler.
I quit.
You can't quit now.
You're indispensable.
Go to Target and order everything they have that's remotely Indian.
And before making any decisions, always crawl inside my brain and ask yourself, "What would Kimmy do?" And then don't do it? Okay, I got my mom's laptop and her password.
- And I've got the link.
- See you guys later.
Hey.
Don't forget the party's tonight.
It's a big night for your mom.
- Oh, I can't wait.
I love you, Mom.
- Love you, D.
J.
Are you two up to something? Nope.
J-Money just keeping it real.
- Okay.
I love you guys.
- Love you too, Mom.
Bye.
Why is your mom always so suspicious? In her defense, we did just steal her laptop.
Okay, I bypassed the parental lock.
Good.
Now I click this link and we can watch any R-rated movie without a parent or guardian.
Yes! Uh, that's not a good sign, right? Not unless we're pirating a pirate movie.
Oh, no! My mom is going to kill us.
We've got to get rid of this virus.
That's going to cost a hundred bucks.
I'm good for thirty.
And I got twenty.
Where are we going to find the rest? Well, well, well.
Sounds like someone needs a loan from the First Bank of Max.
Charlie's paw is as good as new.
Charlie, sit.
Charlie, high ten.
Good girl.
Alright.
Bye, Charlie! Excuse me, Dr.
Fuller.
Can you consult with me briefly on a veterinary matter? Of course, Dr.
Harmon.
Is this about the cocker span Oh.
I just had so much fun last night.
I had to get that out of my system.
I completely understand.
Nothing unprofessional about that at all.
Or this.
Well Matt told me you two were getting along, but you're really getting along.
Dad! What the? Hey.
Dr.
Harmon, welcome back.
You'll be happy to know that since you've been on vacation, business is way up.
I can always count on you, D.
J.
Well, you have for the last seven years, three months, and six days.
But who's counting? You're the best.
That's why I feel so confident handing over my business to my son, Matt.
Thank you so Matt? - Really? - Yeah.
This is so unexpected.
I certainly didn't expect it.
I wanted my son to take over the clinic, but it seemed impossible until Matt came back to San Francisco to be closer to you so, in a way, you made all this happen.
Thank you, D.
J.
Oh, you're so welcome.
It's all meant to be.
The universe is saying "yes.
" The universe could be wrong.
The universe is never wrong.
Wow.
I did not see that coming.
Yeah, me neither.
Are you upset with me? No, I'm not upset.
I'm just disappointed.
I've been working for your father for seven years, three months, and six days, and he's always talked about handing the clinic over to me.
But I get it.
You're his son.
I did run my own clinic in Miami.
So it's not that I'm not qualified.
You're a great vet.
But I'm a great vet, too, and I've always dreamed of owning my own business.
Look, I'd like to take the rest of the day off to just think about all of this.
Do you mind covering for me? Yeah, of course.
Whatever you need.
I'll see you at the party.
The big, fun party.
Yay! So you two need money.
It's your lucky day.
I happen to have money.
Lots of money.
- How much? - I just told you.
Lots.
Now, before I go into my secret vault, could you guys close your eyes and turn away from the closet? Your "secret vault" is in the closet? Is it? Or is that what I want you to think? You'll never know.
Or care.
We just want the money.
You may open your eyes.
Wow! And they call me J-Money.
Nobody calls you J-Money.
Where'd you get all that cash? Birthdays, Christmases, allowances, lemonade stands, couch cushions We get it, Max.
The dryer, car seats, pants pockets, and wishing fountains.
I jump in after the people leave.
So, how much do you need? Fifty dollars.
Here you go.
Fifty chalupas.
Wow.
Thanks, Max.
We'll pay you back A.
S.
A.
P.
No way.
You'll pay me back as soon as possible.
And until then, you'll have to make interest payments.
What does that mean? Show interest in me.
- How about a foot massage? - I am not rubbing your feet.
Fine.
Let Mom find out about her virus-infected laptop.
You'd better get to rubbing, bro.
I am not doing this alone.
Come on, people.
I have enough feet for both of you.
It's awfully quiet in here.
How about some "This Little Piggy"? This little piggy went to market Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Gentle.
This little piggy went to market Oh, good, you're back.
The guests are going to be here in a couple hours.
So I went to Target like you suggested.
It was so easy.
Oh, and I had so much extra time, I did indeed ask myself, "What would Kimmy do?" And you know what you did? No.
What did I do? You got the perfect addition to an Indian-themed party.
I did? Of course I did.
It's in the backyard.
You are going to love this.
Oh! Holy cow! Yes, exactly, it's a sacred cow.
In the kitchen? You can see the broken fence around its neck.
It's obvious I didn't invite her in.
This is not what Kimmy would do.
Oh, this is exactly what Kimmy would do.
You don't know me at all.
You have a cheesecake purse.
You have a problem with a cow? - I told you - This is - Just because it's dairy - Wow.
- That's awesome.
- Cool.
Nice cow, Mom.
Where'd you get it? It's not my cow.
Huh.
Someone's in a mood.
What? I can't make a cow joke with a cow standing in the kitchen? Look, if you don't like that one, I've got udders.
Can I pet her, Kimmy? Still not my cow.
Yeah, sure, Max.
Go on.
She's like a big puppy, surrounded by flies.
I'm home! Oh, no! If Mom sees Kimmy's cow, she's going to have a cow.
It's not my cow.
How are we going to get this thing out of here? I have no idea.
This is my first cattle drive.
Alright, one, two, three! And, go! Hey, where is everybody? Not in the kitchen! We're safe.
Ugh, you would not believe my day.
Ooh, it smells terrible in here.
Who farted? Can you believe that after seven years of dedication and hard work, Dr.
Harmon is going to give the business to Matt? Boo! Boo! Aw.
Thank you, guys, for the support.
Oh, darn it! We're out of milk.
No, we're not.
You know, Deej, why don't you go upstairs and lie down in your big comfy bed, up there? Just because I didn't get the clinic doesn't mean my dream can't come true.
Maybe I should open my own clinic.
Oh! And a window.
Maybe the universe is telling me it's time to do my own thing.
If it's my dream, then it's up to me to make it happen.
Am I right? Yeah! - Totally.
- Yeah.
Why are you all standing there in a line? Because we are a family united in support of your dream.
- Yep.
- Yep.
So go upstairs, take that nap and start dreaming.
- I've got it! - I'll get it.
Okay.
I'm going to go upstairs and take a nice warm bath, and when I come back, I want Kimmy's cow out of my kitchen.
Maybe it is my cow.
Max, when we borrowed that money, we didn't know we were going to be your full-time servants.
We washed your bike, checked under your bed for monsters Silence! You'll have your freedom back as soon as you pay me my money.
Are those grapes? Why aren't they in my mouth? Swami Tommy with his hot mommy.
Where did you get that hat? Turban Outfitters? That's funny.
How come you didn't return my calls? I want to talk to you about the business.
Sorry, I've been figuring things out and I think it's time for me to do my own thing.
You're thinking about leaving? We don't get to talk about this? - I need you up here, son.
- No Namaste, everyone.
I'd like to raise a glass to my son, Matt, who is taking over Harmon Pet Care.
To Matt! And, of course I'd like to thank Dr.
D.
J.
Fuller for seven years of helping me out.
D.
J.
, come say a few words.
Oh, thank you.
And you're welcome, Dr.
Harmon, for seven years of helping you out.
After careful consideration, I've decided to open up my own pet clinic.
So, I'll be moving on.
- What? - No! But, please, continue to enjoy the party.
Stephanie, this party is a dud.
It's not my fault.
D.
J.
bummed everybody out.
No, it's not just that.
Your sacred cow got into the curry and we're about 15 minutes away from Cowmageddon.
This is the last straw.
What now? I just said.
This is the last straw.
Kimmy, it's time for us to ask, "What would Stephanie do?" Fine.
What would Stephanie do? Well, in all my years of DJ-ing, I have learned that one thing always brings people joy: dance.
Hey.
Hit it! Come on.
Everybody on the dance floor! No, no, no.
This is really not my thing.
Yeah! Thank you.
Thank you, Gibbler Style.
What a party! And because I am forsaking all material possessions, I am giving you a very large bonus.
Oh, thank you.
You thought of everything.
The sacred cow, the happy dance, valet parking.
We didn't have valet parking.
Oh.
I paid a guy to steal my car.
Well, I guess the universe wants you to walk home.
Ah.
Wow.
This is the biggest tip Gibbler Style has ever gotten.
Turns out you did a great job.
Thank you, Stephanie.
You're welcome, Kimmy.
I used to think of you as D.
J.
's annoying little sister.
But you're actually a talented, creative, beautiful young woman.
Well, thank you.
And I used to think of you as a goofball.
And? And I still do.
I like your honesty.
How would you like to be a junior partner at Gibbler Style? Oh.
Can I get a dental plan and a company car? How about a toothbrush and a bus pass? I'm in.
Put 'er there, partner.
Junior partner.
Guys, can we talk? Now what do you want, a kidney? I realized something during the dance.
Life is short.
We must savor every moment.
I will no longer boss you around.
Really? Yes.
Be at peace, my children.
And we don't have to pay you back? Of course you do.
I'm at peace, I'm not an idiot.
D.
J.
, I don't want you to leave Harmon Pet Care.
Well, I really don't want to, either, but I think it's time.
But we are too good of a team to break this up.
So listen.
This is what I've been trying to tell you all day.
I want you and I to be partners.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh! Let's run the clinic together, fifty-fifty.
You really want to give me half the business? Yes.
Harmon-Fuller Pet Care.
Or Fuller-Harmon Pet Care.
As long as we still do pet care.
Is that a good idea, mixing business with pleasure? It's been working fine so far.
Well, I really do love all our clients and all our pets.
They're like a second family to me.
And I really love working with you.
Yeah, I am pretty great.
So, was that a "yes," partner? That's a "yes," partner.
Now that we're done with the business, can we mix in a little pleasure?