Go On s01e11 Episode Script

1 Aww, Fausta, this is so lovely.
But this is a public space so all the decorations need to be nondenominational.
Got it.
This is not Christmas tree.
It's winter bush.
Perhaps enjoyed by Jewish.
This normal baby.
Come from human father.
You know, I rarely find myself on the Fausta side of an argument because I tend to not understand what she's saying.
Me too.
But I do like Christmas stuff.
So what would be appropriate? Well, certainly anything with snow.
Oh, God, I will never forget the first time I saw snow.
When I was nine, my family moved from Florida to Maine.
We flew in at night and I got off the plane and oh, there it was, just billions of diamonds falling from the sky.
And for the first time in my life, I felt-- Are we gonna get this time back at the end? At home.
If you had held out for "at home" we would have been done, but okay.
So we finally settled on a date for the group holiday party.
December 21.
It'll start at 8:00 pm and go till double question mark? December 21, 2012.
That's the end of the Mayan calendar; the apocalypse.
So the party is going to end at midnight.
And by "the party" I mean this little rave we call existence.
Well, if we really want our holiday season to be inclusive, we should respect the views of the totally whacked out.
Thank you, Ryan.
Okay, we will make it a holiday/end of the world party.
Wait, you don't believe the world's ending next week.
It happens, Owen.
Stars wink out.
One moment they're glowing and vibrant.
The next, nothing.
We'll all die and then it's just nothingness.
This normal baby wrote book you should read.
Go On 1x11 The World Ain't Over 'Til It's Over I want you to take down that eyesore.
It's totally ruining my view! I'm so sorry I'm late.
It's neighbors.
On the one side, there's always crap on the grass.
And now on the other side, these nouveau riche yahoos have built this marble monstrosity.
Please tell me you're not talking about cemetery neighbors.
Of course I am.
So these people you're yelling at, they're recently bereaved? Wouldn't that make you terrible? You don't get it, King.
Visiting Patty's grave is the most important part of my day.
And I go every day.
And really mourn.
I cry, I pound my fists, I drop to my knees, I say "Why?" That's good.
I'm gonna rock a "Why?" with my cat in the backyard.
Okay, Anne, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, but you shouldn't feel like you can't miss a day.
I wanna be there.
It's really important to me.
But I've had to miss a few things-- trips, a reunion.
I know that at some point it would be good for me to miss a day, but I just don't know when I'm gonna be ready.
Well, that's something I'd like to discuss with all of you.
Mr.
K brought up an intriguing possibility earlier.
What if the world were to end? How would we wanna spend our last day? Ryan, should we act on that whole Sam and Diane thing we've got going? Oh, I think the open-ended nature of that is part of what makes it special.
You do make an interesting point though.
Do you guys know Jimmy Valvano? Is this a sports thing? We so don't care.
It's also a heart-breaking thing so you may like it.
Jimmy Valvano was a legendary basketball coach and he was dying.
This wonderful man summoned up his last bit of strength to teach us how to live.
And he said "For you perfect day, you have to three things: Laugh, think, cry.
" - Damn, that's deep.
- Yeah.
My last day, I wear a metal uniform go around city killing criminals like robocop.
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
Sorry.
Okay, our time is up, but I will see you all at the party.
Hey, Ryan? I need to ask you a question about Wyatt.
He's acting, like, really nervous and weird.
Oh, I'm sure that's just your imagination.
No one that tall and handsome is ever nervous and weird.
So he didn't say anything to you? No.
Maybe he's getting ready to propose.
What? No, we're not ready for that.
That's the furthest thing from our minds.
Okay, you're laugh-talking, it's very strange.
Okay.
- I'll see you around.
- Okay.
From Coney Island to the Sunset Strip Oh! Hey.
Isn't that Lauren's boyfriend in that jewelry store? God, he's so cute and clean.
He looks like a big boy scout.
A man scout.
Wanna earn a badge, man scout? Please don't be sexy with me when it's just the two of us.
I don't know what to do.
Oh, he's looking at a diamond ring! Oh, no, you think he's going to propose? A husband is a big time-suck.
Oh, what if they have kids? Kids are very needy.
They're the worst.
They can't solve any of their own problems.
Hey, Sonia, Yolanda, doing a little Christmas shopping? Ha ha.
Something about crowds.
What's with that ring? Oh, you saw me.
Okay, don't tell Lauren.
But yeah, this is for her.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
Ahh! Listen, you guys know Lauren so well and I want the proposal to be perfect.
So can I, like, pick your brain and figure out the best way to do it? - Count us in.
- Really? Great, I'll call you.
Don't worry, we're gonna sabotage him.
We'll give him bad advice.
Oh, you're a genius.
How come you're not more successful? Eh, everything's just such a thing.
Ugh.
Jimmy Valvano from the ESPYS! Greatest advice ever.
You've gotta laugh, think, cry.
Mm, dude, it's "Laugh, drink, cry.
" Just watched it, buddy; Laugh, think, cry.
Damn it, I've been living my life wrong for, like, 20 years.
I'm trying to figure out how I'd spend my last day.
What's that? Uh, it's a brochure for wine country.
You and I used to go every year with the ladies.
Didn't wanna make a thing of it, but I was gonna go.
That's it.
Wine country.
A place where we've laughed, been moved to tears by beauty, - had plenty of time to think.
- And drink! This is great.
You get all one with the land while you're up there.
It's very mellow.
It's you at your most McConaughey.
I love it! And you are the mayor of wine country.
No one pretends to know how to talk wine better than you.
And I am gonna unveil some new adjectives.
I am gonna order a dopey cabernet and send back a Pinot for not being bashful enough.
You're doing a Seven Dwarves thing! That's awesome! Listen, I-I found a girl to take.
I was gonna bring Becca, you remember her? Didn't you say she was a little dim? No.
That was before I was desperate.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- You got a girl you can take? No, I mean, nobody romantic, no.
How about somebody you can bring along as a friend? Someone who might benefit from the magic of wining? I think I might have the perfect lady.
Oh, yeah? She fun? No.
No, she's not.
Really? Classy.
Hey, let me guess, family of Martin Henderson 1948-2012.
Beloved father.
Hater of even minimal plot upkeep? King, what are you doing? - I've gotta go mourn.
- Not today.
Get in.
It's our last day on earth.
And we are? That was supposed to cue the road trip song.
What happened to born to be wild? I want Life is a Highway.
I'm not gonna have this argument with you again! Just get in.
What kind of hee-haw nonsense is that? My dream road trip vehicle and my dream road trip crew.
- You know Steven.
- We've met.
Not impressed.
And this would be his bimbo girlfriend.
Excuse me, I have a subscription to Vanity Fair.
We are headed to wine country for our perfect last day ever and I really want you to come.
Now, it would mean missing a day at the grave site, but I think this is gonna be so good for you.
We will laugh, we'll think, and maybe even cry a little bit.
How much wine is there in wine country? She's in.
McConaughey, take the wheel.
All right, all right, all right.
We will miss Mr.
k's end of the world party.
Oh, no, stop the bus.
I'm glad you came.
I was led to believe other people would be here.
Oh, and the world is going to end in 12 hours.
I wanna go out holding hands with loved ones, listening to the perfect song.
Now, word on the street is you're a musical guy.
And deep down you know you may be able to come up with the perfect song, that there's genius inside of you.
That's why I'm sure you won't say no.
No.
I've locked the doors.
And Lauren hates champagne.
So when you propose to her, you're not gonna want any champagne there.
You know what you should do? Get her two rings.
One for now and one for the weight you want her to be.
Or no ring and offer to pay to get her bigger boobs.
- Ladies love that.
- Yeah.
So let me get this straight.
Tell her she's fat, imply her boobs are too small, tell her I think therapy is a crock, and that I want an open marriage? Be specific about which of her friends you'd like to sleep with, yeah.
Okay, you guys don't like me and you won't help.
And that's too bad because I think Lauren's the greatest lady in the world and she deserves a magical proposal.
Wait, we're sorry.
You seem like a great guy, it's just we're afraid of losing her.
Oh, Lauren loves you guys.
You're not gonna lose her if we get married.
In fact, you're not even gonna miss out on the proposal.
I'm gonna pop the question at the party tonight.
Okay, we'll help.
If you promise to love her forever and make sure she stays connected with the group.
Deal.
And I'd like to see your stomach.
- Come on.
Pull your shirt up.
- No.
No.
- Shirt.
- No, no, no, no.
Now this wine is a little happier than I'd like.
Do you have anything sneezier? I have just the thing.
This is how we're supposed to be.
Good food, good wine, living life, out of the rat race.
Come outside with me, baby.
I wanna feel you and soil at the same time.
I don't know him that well.
Does he always suck like that? Oh, yeah.
He gets worse.
After five drinks his face will get bright red because of some weird Asian enzyme thing.
And then after six drinks, he'll offer to buy the winery.
Are you okay? I feel guilty not visiting Patty.
She should be my priority every day.
You've gotta live in the moment.
This is our last day on earth.
Now come on, we're in wine country.
Let's have some wine country fun.
We'll meet other couples.
I hate other couples.
I gotta say, the more annoyed you get, the more fun I have.
Now come on, play along! Saccharine.
I hate it.
Well, I can chance the a chord to a F sharp.
That's it! That's the perfect song.
Okay, let's hear the proposal.
I wasn't planning on saying it to anyone but Lauren.
Sure, why practice the most important moment of your life? When I was at that phase with my boyfriend, I practiced my proposal reaction once in the morning and once at night.
That doesn't happen by accident.
Uh, okay, uh, Lauren, can I ask you something? What are you trying to borrow a car? Just watch.
Lauren, I need to ask you something.
And it doesn't matter what I say here because I'm capturing her with intense eye contact.
I hold her hand tightly, showing her with my body that even if she tries to pull away, I will not let her go.
As I gently caress her trembling cheek, my hips brushing against her, she has no choice but to say Oh, God, yes.
That's how you do that.
Uh.
- Where's the ring? - No.
It was pretend.
It's a dead man's party Ladies, welcome.
Thanks for showing up to the end of the world party.
Snacks to the left, help yourself to the cheesecake.
You won't have to work it off tomorrow.
And Feliz Navidad.
I have egg nog for you.
I have punch spiked with hallucinogenic toad mucus.
- We'll sing Carols.
- We'll ride on the floor.
We'll decorate cookies.
We'll overthrow the U.
S.
government.
So two ways the night can go.
Wyatt, you made it.
Of course, I'm not gonna miss the last party in the history of the world.
Oh, love him.
He's a keeper.
Well, for the next few hours.
Can you excuse me for a second? Mm-hmm.
Hi, you guys.
Okay, why are you being weird and giggly? - No reason.
- Lauren, I can't lie to you-- Don't say anything.
W-wait, are you guys talking about Wyatt? He's been very nervous lately.
Is he gonna propose? - No.
- Yes.
What? you just made me lie to Lauren.
My mother was right, you are a bad influence.
Oh, man.
Tell me something, King? Am I the first woman you've ever taken to the wine country that you have absolutely no chance - of sleeping with? - I am not gonna answer that because I believe in my heart of hearts that that's not the case.
I think all your lesbi-ing is a cover for your intense feelings for me.
Hey, we got our laugh.
Now all we need is to cry and think.
Yeah? You were right.
Wyatt's gonna propose.
At the Christmas party? Holiday/end of the world party.
Why must you and Fausta undermine me? I have no idea what to do.
Remember what I told you before.
If you don't know, you know.
- You can't do it.
- But he's so great.
And he's so sweet and I love him.
What if I say no and it's the biggest mistake I ever make? You can't settle.
You are an amazing person.
You can have something perfect.
I did.
Okay.
All right, I gotta go.
Thank you.
I found her! What are you doing in here? What are you doing in the men's room and why did somebody steal all the urinals and replace them with a tampon machine? You're not the only one with questions.
Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Honey, can we talk outside? - Huh? This men's room is so pink! It's wonderful! Little tough love, but she needed to hear it.
If you don't know, you know.
You know? Wow, sanctimonious Joe over there.
I hope you're not trying to insult me, 'cause I have no idea what the hell you just said.
I just don't see how you can be so sure about her life.
I mean, yes, I loved Patty.
But early on I had my doubts.
- I didn't.
- Really? Let me ask you this, Ryan.
What do you think about us getting married? Here's my take on marriage.
I think what we're doing now is better, is more romantic.
We wake up every single morning and decide to be together.
I mean, that is beautiful.
Here's what's gonna happen.
We're gonna be married a year from now.
You are going to get me a ring.
It's gonna be one of these three.
Not the cheapest.
You're going to plan a fantastic weekend where you propose to me at one of these three resorts.
Again, not the cheapest.
I will move in here.
Moving out will be life-sized Wayne Gretzky, his friend the pinball machine, and This pool table.
Or I will move on and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Okay.
Yes, I will definitely do all of those things, but I need to put my foot down about one thing.
Hmm? I always thought it would be fun to get married and to walk down the aisle wearing my Yankees cap.
- That's not gonna happen.
- No problem.
Perhaps I wasn't totally and completely sure.
How do you know that what Lauren's feeling is not the same thing? Well, if you don't know What was that? Were you trying to say something, Mumbly? I wasn't sure about anything.
I think on a certain level, I idealized my relationship.
Hey, there's my think! Two out of three Jimmy V! Uh, maybe you should have had your think before you opened your mouth and spewed stupidity all over Lauren.
You're right, you're right, I'm gonna call her.
- She's not answering.
- Ugh.
Hey, party people! Wow, looks like someone hit five drinks.
Excuse me, can I talk to somebody about purchasing the vineyard? Six.
We gotta go.
We gotta go now.
- We gotta go now.
- Come on, come on.
All right.
Yeah! Okay, everyone, this is the home stretch before we all die.
Now, Owen has worked very hard at writing the first and only song about the end of the world.
What about REM's It's The End Of the World As We Know It? Ooh, that's better.
- Do you know that? - No.
Eh, yours will do, I guess.
Where's Anne and Ryan? - They want on a trip.
- No.
They have to be here.
For me to be at peace I have to be with everyone I love and Yolanda.
I'm starting to panic.
Ah ah ah.
Wyatt.
It's so beautiful.
Sorry, that's a machine I rented that's supposed to be making snow.
Oh, you know I love snow.
Yeah, from that time in Maine when you were nine.
- Yeah.
- Do you have any stories about loving a grinding, abrasive sound? So what do you say? Guys.
We have an announcement to make.
Wyatt has asked me to be his bride.
I said yes! She said yes.
She said yes! She said yes.
You're right, they will chant at anything.
- Yeah.
- She said yes! - Ryan, you came for me! - Yes.
Lauren could I, uh, just for two seconds? Yeah, sure.
We came all the way back for this? Shh.
There's important grown up stuff going on now.
I'm sick of this.
I'm gonna be so glad to be done with you guys when Steven and I move up north and open our vine-yard.
Baby, we need to talk.
Don't listen to me.
I don't know anything.
I was the opposite of sure.
So for me to tell you to--you're--you-- - you're wearing a ring.
- Mm-hmm.
You already said yes.
My opinion doesn't matter.
- Uh-uh.
- Well that's nice.
That's great.
- Are you happy? - Yeah.
Yes, I'm just, um, I'm also terrified.
Well, yeah, I mean Janie dragged me kicking and screaming into a great life and it sound like Wyatt is gonna do that for you.
One minute left.
Quickly.
Owen, start up the music.
- Everyone, everyone hold hands.
- Okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You know, we should all come up with a plan for meeting up in the afterlife.
Now, Sonia, Yolanda, Fausta, you should discuss where to meet in hell.
What's happening? Is this a cult? 'Cause I cannot do that again.
Okay, it's ten seconds till midnight.
Ten! Nine.
Oh, any last sentiments to share? I'm in love with someone here.
Me to.
I have crush on Walter.
Which one of us do you think is Walter? Four, three, two, one! Oh, my God, we're in heaven! We made it! - Thanks, King.
- For what? You kept me out of a sad place for a whole day.
You're a good man.
That Janie, she was smart to nail you down.
Are you welling up? You got your Jimmy V day.
Merry Christmas, King.
Merry Christmas, Anne.
Oh, no, I gave away all of my possessions.
Owen, I'm gonna need my car back! So, Danny, who's this lady that you love? Uh Fausta? She does it for me.
I'm sorry.
What you say, Walter? Guys, I just realized that the interpretations of the Mayan calendar were slightly off.
Now, based on my calculations, the world will in fact end right now! Ryan, turn the lights back on.
Oh, that's unfortunate timing.
I just thought the party should be over.