How to Rock (2012) s01e11 Episode Script

Warkeeper, centaurian of the blood realm, is amazing.
Look at those glistening guts.
Can guts glisten? Yes, they can.
Harrison fink is a deranged genius.
Centaurians, unite for justice! Wow, you two have never been hotter.
Kacey.
Molly.
This must be such a sad time for you.
Why is that? Well, we know it's your birthday on Friday, and we know how much you love parties.
It's a shame you won't have us to throw you one You know, since we kicked you out of The Perfs.
- I left The Perfs.
- Whatevs.
Totes water bridge.
What? Totally water under the bridge.
Obvi.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am gonna have an awesome birthday party.
With Gravity 5.
Really? Your friends don't seem like the awesome party types.
Well, they are.
So Hey.
You guys know that on Friday It's somebody's birthday.
- We know.
- Yup.
What are we gonna do on this special day? - We're just gonna keep it low-key.
- Low-key? Really? So kind of a "amazing, fabulous birthday party" low-key kind of thing? That's really not necessary.
Yes, it is.
Kacey's right.
We're throwing you a big birthday party.
It's gonna be so fun.
Wait.
What? Nelson? It's my birthday on Friday.
Uh, my birthday's on Friday.
Your birthdays are on the same day? Double birthday explosion! Well, great, the party can be for both of you.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Share my birthday? I can do that.
Then bring it on, birthday girl.
- Okay.
- Mm.
- No way she can do that.
- Mm-mm.
Only You Can Be You only I can be me you always want to be what you're not can't you be happy with what you've got? you're perfect the way you are with your insecurities, flaws, and scars your life's too short to worry don't you know it's true Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me.
I can be me.
Big news, guys.
Our party is gonna be at loft 49.
Whoa, I thought you needed to reserve that place, like, a year in advance.
Look, I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I like to do things really big.
- No! - Get out! Really? Very funny.
But seriously, I'm just really into birthdays, and I'm super excited.
About celebrating it with you guys.
I'm all for a big party.
Last year, all I got was a meatball with a candle in it.
Hey, a giant meatball.
Oh, can we have a bounce house? I've always wanted one, but my mom thinks I'm too small.
And it will deflate and crush me.
Um, I'm not sure we'll have room for a bounce house.
With everything I have planned, but don't worry.
Our party is gonna kick butt.
And no more meatballs.
Kevin, did you get Kacey's texts about what she wants.
For her birthday? Yes, all 30 of them.
Well, at least we know what she wants, how much it costs, what store it comes from, and what to write on the birthday card.
If only Nelson was more specific about what he wants.
But what do you get the guy who has nothing? Hey, would he want a signed copy.
Of that warkeeper's bloody violent whatever? - I want one.
- There's our answer.
Perfect.
Let's go.
So no paintball, no human dartboard, no Murray the magnificent.
Are you sure? 'Cause Murray has this really cool disappearing wallet trick.
At first, you'll think you've been robbed.
But not robbed of a good time! No Murray.
Look, Nelson, this is more than just a birthday party.
This is a reflection of who we are.
What I want people to see.
Is a handsome, cool guy with awesome taste.
Yeah.
Who is this guy, again? It's you, Nelson.
Ooh, right.
It's me.
Got it.
Great.
Now, let's move on to the all-important guest list.
Here is mine.
Where's yours? Really? It's front and back.
Okay, who's the first person on your list? Craig kronberg.
Craig kronberg? Are you sure? What? He's a nice guy.
He might be the nicest guy in the world, but that dude's finger is obsessed with his nose.
That is so not true.
Hey, Nelson.
Not a good time, Craig! So I've heard Kacey is having a party.
We've got to get invited.
You want to go to Kacey's birthday party? No, I want to be invited.
So I can not go to Kacey's party.
Can't you just not go without being invited? No, Grace.
I want to snub her by not going, but I can't not go unless she invites me to go.
I'm just gonna have to trust you on this one.
Hey, Kacey.
What you got there? Oh, just the guest list to our birthday party.
Let me guess.
Grace and I aren't on the list.
Ding, ding, ding! That's correct.
Uh, but nothing's decided yet.
I'll go ahead and add your names right here.
Don't no, Nelson.
They're not coming to our party.
Hmm, it seems you're worried.
That if Grace and I are at your little party, we may overshadow you, you know, with how awesome we are.
Really, Molly? That's the best you can do? Nice try.
I thought it was a pretty good try.
Let's go, Grace.
Okay, if we're gonna find.
An autographed copy of warkeeper, this is the best online bidding site.
They have everything.
Who would want umbrella shoes? Who wouldn't want umbrella shoes? I hate when my feet get wet.
Oh, there it is.
- Bid on that baby.
- Here we go.
You are the highest bidder.
Auction ends in ten seconds.
- So we got it? - Totally.
Ahh.
Five, four, three, two You've been outbid.
No, no, no, no, no! What? You lost.
Better luck next time.
Nelson, I'm not sure.
We want this to be a costume party.
Uh, it's not a costume.
It's a wrestling suit.
What's up? Shoppin' for umbrella shoes.
Perfectly believable.
Kevin, let's do this.
Boing! You see that? Is this what you want to happen at your party? Uh, yah! No? Oh, I got to run.
I need to make sure that they're using.
A full tablespoon of glitter on each invitation.
Nelson, this is gonna be the best party of the year! I love birthdays! Wait! Ahh.
Are you okay? Oh, yeah.
She just doesn't like any of my party ideas.
But hey, I mean, she's the party expert.
Want to drink cherry soda out of my backpack? Nah, I got to go return the suit.
See, Stevie? Now, this is an appropriately glittered invitation.
Hmm.
Pink, glittery invitations.
They don't exactly scream "nelson" to me.
Oh, believe me.
He wanted invitations that actually screamed "nelson!" They were terrifying.
Just curious here.
Have you taken any of his suggestions? It's not like I'm keeping score.
Of where the ideas come from.
Nelson and I both want an awesome party, and he knows that his birthday buddy Kacey.
Will make it happen.
Okay, but if you were keeping score, it would be: Kacey, 100; Nelson, zip, zero, zilch Are you done? Nil, nada Goose egg.
Okay, now I'm done.
Surprisingly, Kacey saw through our manipulation plan, so now we have to move on to stage two.
What's stage two, again? We just talked about this, Grace.
Remember? The present? Oh, yeah.
Wait.
Oh.
Right.
Wait.
Right.
Okay.
Go.
Did someone say "birthday"? No, nobody said "birthday.
" Wonderful! Where is Molly? Oh, we like to give each other.
Ten minutes a day for "alone time.
" Shouldn't you be alone during your alone time? Alone time has no rules, Stevie.
I wanted to let you know that Molly has.
A really great present to give you.
Seriously? Totes serious.
It's, like, this big and really cha-ching.
She can't wait to give it to you on Friday.
At your birthday party.
Is that right? Yeah, so I guess I'll see you at the party.
- Oh, no, no.
- Not so fast, blondie.
I can't and won't be bought.
You can tell Molly that she's not invited to the party.
Because she is not a nice person, and I highly doubt she ever will be.
There's a better chance of me going shoe shopping for fun.
So how'd it go? She said the only way we'll be invited to her party.
Is if you act Nice.
Fine.
I can do that.
Okay, we're the highest bidder.
Only five seconds left.
- Oh, I can almost taste it.
- Whoo! - You lost.
- Dang it! - You won.
- Yes! I got the book.
- Wait, you were bidding on it? - Mm-hmm.
We were bidding on it.
So you were the idiots who kept jacking up the price.
On the stupid book? Well, we didn't know you were bidding on it, and it is not stupid.
At least we got the book.
For three times the price.
Can't we just have one? No, Nelson.
No orange foods.
It doesn't go with our color scheme.
We have a color scheme? What's up? Just shopping for some more umbrella shoes.
Still believable.
Okay, Kacey, how about this idea? This one's undeniable.
Okay.
Marshmallow slingshots.
Now, I know you may say it's "inappropriate" and "childish" and doesn't go with our "color scheme," but I really think it can take our party to the next level.
Well, marshmallows are white, so, actually, it does go with our color scheme, but I would say the other two things.
Sorry, Nelson, but I just don't think it's right for our party.
Our party? I can't have the food I want.
I can't invite the people I want.
I can't even have marshmallows shot into my mouth.
Okay, okay, fine.
The nose-picker can come.
No, I don't care anymore.
This isn't my party.
This isn't our party.
This is your party.
Do what you want.
I'm out of here.
- The nose-picker is not me, right? You were right, Stevie.
I have been a horrible friend.
Horrible's a strong word.
Thanks, but I think it's true.
Didn't say it wasn't true.
- I have to fix this.
- Okay.
Wait.
Am I the nose-picker or not? No.
Whoo! - Thanks, Uncle Rusty.
I owe you big-time.
Hey, Kacey, how are you? Classes good? Everything at home okay? Are you being nice? I realized that being mean.
Doesn't get you anywhere in life.
Whoops.
Sorry, my mistake.
Wow.
I have never seen you apologize for anything.
Well, it was an accident.
We all have them.
Hey, Kacey.
Hey, Zander.
How are you? What happened? Why is Molly smiling? What did she do to you? Well, Zander, it seems.
As if Molly has changed for the better.
I'm really trying.
Well, if that's the case, then why don't you come.
To my birthday party at loft 49 tomorrow night? Oh, Kacey, that's so awesome of you.
Totally awesome.
Oh, and there's gonna be a guy there.
Who makes custom-fit doggy sweaters.
Okay.
Oh And it'll look, oh, so cute on your little shih tzu.
Sounds totally fab.
Can't wait.
Laters.
All right, don't be late.
You did it.
I feel like my insides were about to explode.
How are people nice all the time? It's awful.
Now you can snub Kacey by not showing up to her party.
Oh, we're going to her party.
So I can get peanut his custom doggy sweater.
And then we'll be like, "this party is so lame," and leave.
Are you sure you're not going a little overboard? Yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah, I'm sure now too.
Do you really think Molly's changed? Of course she hasn't.
Then why'd you invite her to the party? It's all part of the plan.
Water.
Oh, here you go.
I don't feel like rehearsing.
Kacey insisted.
She wants us to play at the party tonight.
Yeah, her party.
Can we just go in and get this over with? Surprise! Happy Birthday, Nelson! This is unbelievable.
Craig is here! Hey, Craig.
Murray the magnificent.
Wow, Kacey, this is cool.
This is party is so Nelson.
Look how happy he is.
And you're not a horrible friend.
You're a great friend.
Thanks, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
Bring in the cake! I've always wanted an awesomely huge cake.
I'm gonna have a big slice of that cake.
Make a wish, birthday buddy.
- Ta-da! Awesome! Wishes do come true.
Oh, thanks.
Happy Birthday, Nelson.
Happy you're so Thanks.
Is that a bounce house? Yeah.
I always wanted one, but my mom thinks I'm too small.
And it will deflate and crush me.
Hey, Nelson, I Hope you're enjoying your party.
Are you kidding? This is the best birthday party I've ever had.
Thank you.
We got you something.
- Ta-da! An autographed copy.
Of warkeeper: Centaurian of the blood realm? You guys are the best.
Centaurians, unite for justice! Yeah, dorkinese is not my thing.
Nelson, I got you something too.
This song is for a great guy and a great friend, someone I'm proud to share my birthday with.
Happy Birthday, Nelson.
well, I could hear you call my name if I were miles away come running when every other light goes out to shine for you is my specialty yes, I'd go to leaps and bounds don't care how cliche that sounds no, I'll never let you fall and hit the ground so sign me up and I swear I'll be the person that'll pick you up just count on me anytime and if all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing just call me up 'cause if you need a friend tonight I'll be up if you ever need someone to cry on and if all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing now if you're singin' in the rain well, I'd be right there with you dancin' and if you need a harmony on a track you know I got your back.
I got your back, yeah 'cause you know I'll be your friend even if it's not the trend, no you know I'm here for you through and through that's the truth I got you till the end so sign me up and I swear I'll be the person that'll pick you up just count on me anytime and if all your walls break down I'll the be the last one standing just call me up 'cause if you need a friend tonight I'll be up if you ever need someone to cry on and if all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing no, no you know I'll be the last one standing so sign me up.
I swear I'll be the first in line whoa, oh count on me every time and if all your walls break down.
I'll be the last one standing oh, oh, oh.
Happy Birthday, Nelson! Happy Birthday, Nelson.
You're goin' down! Oh, bring it on, birthday girl! Yah ha ha ha! Ahh! Oof! Oof! Oof! I got next.
What happened to your other party? This is my party.
Oh, so that's why you invited Molly to loft 49.
- Uh-huh.
Oof! Whoa! Grace, I'm at loft 49.
It's closed.
Where are you? I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to stay home.
Were those marshmallows? Ha! No.
Aspirin Giant Fluffy aspirin.
Grace, are you at a party? No, these are my parents and doctors.
Marshmallow slingshots! Sorry, Molly! Got to go! Grace.
Kacey tricked me! And you peed on me! Bad, peanut!