iCarly s01e11 Episode Script

I can't believe Mr Kline gave me a D on that test.
How'd I get a D? You only answered half the questions, then told Mr Kline the test was stupid, then burped, then left.
And that's not worth a D+? - Hey, guys.
Bad news.
- The doctors can't fix your face? - What's the bad news? - Benji's flaking on us.
- I'm not flaking.
- Benji Come on! The Plain White T's are signing autographs at the Westbrook Mall! The Plain White T's are in town? I love them! So it's cool if I miss iCarly? No! You promised you'd be on the show tonight.
Sorry.
I'll do it another time.
Great.
Where are we gonna find another kid who can fit his entire foot in his mouth? Hey, Gibby, you wanna be on iCarly? - Totally.
What do I gotta do? - I'll show you.
Put the foot in the mouth.
Come on.
You can do it.
I can't.
I don't bend that way.
- Put your foot in your mouth.
- I can't! - Put your foot in your mouth.
- I can't do that.
- She's not like other girls.
- No.
Gibby, lift your foot up higher! That's it, Gibby! Come on.
Put the foot in the mouth! In five, four, three, two I know, you see Somehow the world will change for me And be so wonderful Live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there And feel so wonderful It's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel So wake up the members of my nation It's your time to be There's no chance unless you take one And the time to see The brighter side of every situation Some things are meant to be So give your best and leave the rest to me Leave it all to me Leave it all to me Just leave it all to me iCarly S01E11 iRue the Day In five, four, three, two - Hello, Internetalonians! - Greetings, Web-ites! If you're here to see a live autopsy of an alien You've come to the wrong URL! Okay, we've got an awesome show for you guys tonight.
And we're gonna kick it off by showing you a freakish video Sent in by an iCarly viewer Of a cat meowing the national anthem.
God bless A-meow-ica.
- Freddie? - One singing cat, coming up.
I rule you, horse! I said, "Giddy-up!" I said, "Giddy-up!" I said, "Giddy-up!" - Freddie - Where's the singing cat? Okay, okay.
Hang on.
Here.
- It's upside down.
- I see that! Wait.
Sorry, iCarly viewers.
Freddy will have the cat video fixed in just a sec.
Okay, guys, we're having some minor technical difficulties.
So while we get them fixed Please enjoy this picture of an old lady biting a brick.
Freddie, what do you think went wrong? I'm not sure, but I'd bet an entire month's allowance that all my equipment was working perfectly.
You'd bet a whole eight bucks? Your mom only gives you eight bucks a month? She's afraid if she gives me more, I'll buy a bus ticket and leave her.
- That's so dumb.
- Not really.
It's on right now? Cool.
I'm putting it on! Thanks, Socko.
Turn on Channel 8! - Why? What's - No time for questions! at the Westbrook Mall the Plain White T's, famous for their number-one hit song, Hey There Delilah, were signing autographs when lead singer Tom Higgenson sneaked away to buy himself a latte.
As Mr Higgenson was leaving the coffee kiosk, he was almost struck by a giant menu board when it fell from the upstairs food court.
- Oh, no! - No way! Watch, watch! Luckily, a passing bystander pushed the rock star out of the way, saving his life.
- Spencer! - That's you! - I know! - You're like a hero! "Like"? So did you get an autograph from Tom Higgenson? Better.
I didn't have any paper, so he signed my back! - Wow! - Read it! "Spencer, thanks so much for pushing me out of the way.
"If it wasn't for you, I could've been killed by that menu board.
"By the way, nice mole.
" Look, Tom drew a little arrow pointing to Spencer's back mole.
That is a nice mole.
"Thanks again.
I totally owe you one, bro.
"Your buddy, Tom Higgenson.
" - Is that his phone number? - Yep! - Hey! - What? - Never mind.
I shouldn't ask.
- Okay.
Will you ask the Plain White T's to perform on iCarly? Will you take a digital picture of my back? - Yes! - Then, yes! No way! - Colonel Morgan! - What's up, Buttercup? - Permission to hug? - Permission granted.
- Me next! - Spencer! - At ease! - Sorry, sir.
What are you doing here? I thought you were overseas with Dad.
I was, but I'm back here for a couple of weeks to do a little recruiting.
But more importantly, I bring gifts from your father.
- Yes! - Awesome! For Carly, a hand-made laptop case from Switzerland.
I love Swiss laptop cases! And for Spencer, a two-foot long Italian meat stick.
- This is two feet? - It was till I had lunch.
So you're gonna be in Seattle till the end of the month? Yeah, and before I leave, I want you both to come over and have dinner with me and Carmella.
- Sure! - We'll try and get there early.
- All right, I better run on.
- No! Before you go, you gotta read my back! - Read your back? - Read my back! If you ever need my help with anything, you just call me.
- Thanks, Colonel Morgan.
- Uncle Roger.
Uncle Roger.
Is he reading it? Are you sure we're not gonna have any more problems? We shouldn't.
I triple-checked everything.
Okay, we're live in five, four, three, two Hello, people of Earth, Jupiter and Wisconsin.
I'm Carly, which rhymes with barley.
- And I'm Sam.
- Which rhymes with ham.
Okay, by now, I'm sure you've heard that Tom Higgenson Lead singer of the Plain White T's Recently had his life saved by a passing bystander.
And that passing bystander is my brother, Spencer.
- Now, guess what? - Tom Higgenson is so cool that he promised my brother a big favour.
So Spencer's gonna try and get the Plain White T's to play live, right here, on iCarly.
Just go to iCarly.
com to check out more info on when that might happen.
But right now Sam's gonna send a 20-word text message - using only her feet and toes.
- Here I go! Okay, Carly, just put the cell phone between my toes there.
Okay, there you go.
- Okay.
- All right.
Getting some words in there, BRB, LOL.
Freddie, what up with the green screen? I'm not sure.
- What's going on with the monitor? - I don't know.
Random dancing! Freddie, do something! I'm trying! It's like I have no control over anything.
Okay, now what? We're off-line, no signal in or out.
Our whole website's down.
Great, in the middle of our show? Wait, what's going on with the monitor? - I'm not making it do that.
- Well, then, who's I am the source of iCarly's technical difficulties.
Well, knock it off.
- Who are you, anyway? - My identity is a secret.
Nevel, come say goodbye, sweetie.
Mother, I'm busy! Nevel? Hello, Carly.
Sam.
Freddie.
You're the one messing up our webcast? That's right.
I've hacked your website.
I told you I'd get revenge.
No, you said I'd rue the day.
Same thing! And now your time to rue has come.
Look, Nevel, you better just back off, or I'm gonna squeeze your big, round melon head till it pops.
You don't scare me, Sam.
Well, we know what does scare you.
Yeah, we're just gonna tell your mom on you again, and then you'll be in huge trouble.
Wrong! My mother is leaving for a two-month cruise around the Arabian Peninsula.
Well, someone has to be in charge of you.
Correct.
My grandmother.
But she's hopelessly confused.
That's right.
I'm untouchable.
I control iCarly, and there's nary a thing you can do to stop me.
Nary? Let the rueing begin.
You feel it, Carly? You feel the rue? You feel it? Nevel, come kiss Mommy goodbye! All right, Mother! Better find a new hobby, Carly, 'cause your web show is officially cancelled by me.
I hate him.
I heard that.
- Well, how's he doing it? - I don't know.
Somehow, Nevel hacked into my computer and was able to control everything in our studio.
- Well, this is horrible.
- You know what else is horrible? You're out of mini marshmallows.
- Sam.
- This is a crisis situation.
No, I'll just use this big one.
So Nevel can just mess up our show whenever he wants? Yeah, until we can figure out how to stop him, which could take months.
Well, then, for now, we're stopping iCarly.
- What? - Carly! There's no point in us doing the show just so Nevel can wreck it.
- Yeah.
- True.
Awesome! That's incredible.
That's incredible.
I'll tell them right now.
Bye.
Oh, my God! That was Tom Higgenson! He said yes! I got you the Plain White T's for iCarly next week! Guys, calm down.
Does it have to be next week? Well, yeah, after that, they leave on, like, a year-long world tour.
What's the problem? We can't do iCarly next week.
Nevel hacked us.
That evil little maniac that makes great tapenade but tried to kiss Carly? Yeah, the little nub hates me now, and he figured out how to mess up our show whenever he wants.
Do you know how huge it'd be for iCarly to have the Plain White T's on? Yes! Then we're not cancelling the show.
Tell Tom we'll be ready.
Yay! I go dial! Why'd you do that? How are we gonna stop Nevel? He messed with iCarly.
com.
We're gonna mess with Nevelocity.
com.
You think you can hack him back? Yeah.
We just got to sneak into his house so I can get to his computer.
And then, when he realises that we can crash his site, - he'll leave iCarly alone.
- Nice.
Wow, Freddie, I like seeing you get all feisty.
That's the Freddie way.
I thought the Freddie way was a toasted bagel with grape jelly.
That's the Freddie breakfast way.
- Sam, where are you? - In the kitchen.
- How'd you get in here? - Back door was open.
Hey, look, I found some tuna tetrazzini in the fridge.
Sam, we're here to hack Nevel's computer, not eat his tetrazzini! I feel we can do both.
Okay.
Here I come.
Come on, can we just do this before Nevel comes back? Yeah, let me just unhook myself.
I'm gonna go scope the place out.
Man! The latch is bent.
What? So you're stuck there? Yeah.
Well, here.
Here, let me help you out there.
Cool.
Thank you.
Stop me! Stop me! Stop me! Will you quit playing around? - He can't release the latch.
- Man! Okay, then.
Just tell us what to do.
Okay.
First, go find Nevel's base of operations.
Right in here.
I used to rate geeks on a scale of one to Freddie, but I think Nevel just broke that scale.
Okay, Freddie, we're in Nevel's nerd cave.
- What do we do? - Okay, hook up my TID cable from the UGC port on my laptop to the QSB input on his Y-drive.
What? The blue cable! Plug the small end into my laptop and the fat end into Nevel's computer.
Thank you! Spider.
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! We have a situation! What's wrong? I think Nevel's grandmother just walked in! Don't worry, Nevel said she's hopelessly confused.
Okay, we've got the cable hooked up.
Now what? Okay.
There's a file on my desktop called VL2.
exe.
Drag that onto his hard drive.
- Okay.
- After you do that, just unhook - Hi, there.
- Spider! Stop it, please! Please, would you - Stop! - Who are you? - Your personal trainers! - My personal Come on, let's do some squat thrusts! Squat thrusts! - There you go.
- Okay.
- Ready? - But I don't know - Just squat and thrust! - Begin! One, two Do it! - One! Three! - Three! Four! Yeah, I can count.
One! Good job.
Yeah, I'm liking that.
Two.
Oh, yeah.
Keep working.
Don't get lazy on me.
One.
Good job.
Come on, one, all the way down.
Don't give up, come on.
Feel the burn.
Better.
Okay, keep it going.
Two, three, W, mustard, pantyhose And in about two minutes, we are gonna crash Nevel's website.
Pull up Nevelocity.
Com.
Copy that.
Hey, which socks do you think I should wear when the Plain White T's come here? Blue stripes with golden pineapples, or aqua with fuchsia palm trees? Wear one of each.
Hey, that's brilliant.
Look at you, thinking outside the socks.
I'll be in my room.
Okay, Sam, keep your eye on Nevel's site.
And watch it crash! Still working.
- What happened? - My computer crashed.
Surprise! It's so cute how you tried to crash my website.
But who failed? You did! Okay, Nevel, why are you torturing us? Firstly, because you refused to kiss me then soiled my face with tapenade.
You better just back off, Papperman.
No, I control the iCarly website now.
- But look at the bright side.
- What bright side? There is none! You all lost, and I all won.
Bye! Well, better tell Spencer to cancel the Plain White T's.
Man, this bites.
Well, we can't do iCarly as long as Nevel controls our site.
- So true! - Get off my monitor! - Who are you calling? - You'll see.
- You ordering pizza? - No! Are you sure we should do the show? Yeah, seriously, I mean, you know Nevel's just gonna - We're doing the show.
- Okay.
In five, four, three, two - And welcome! - To what? - iCarly! - Oh, yeah.
- I'm Sam.
- And I'm Carly! - It's Nevel again.
- Now what's he doing? Overriding our signal.
He's webcasting directly to our audience.
And now on iCarly, I will sing a song all about my webcast.
I have a web show that I do It is really bad How can this not be infuriating you? Just keep watching.
It makes people sad With a boring here What are you people doing here? I demand - Quiet! - Yes, sir! - Who's that? - A friend of my dad's.
- You called in the military? - I don't play around.
Nevel Papperman, your computer hacking is a direct violation of the Internet Security Act of 1983.
Wait, they're taking my equipment! They can't do that! Yes, they can.
And I can also place you under military arrest.
No! No, please! I'm just a young boy! A boy! Trust me.
- Please, don't arrest me! - Okay, fine.
You're not under arrest.
Then what are you gonna do with me? Get me down from here! After you apologise to Carly.
- I'm sorry, Carly! - Now, call yourself a weenie.
I'm a weenie! He is a weenie.
- Yeah.
- Very weenie-ish.
Okay, Carly, I don't think this boy will be bothering you any more.
No.
Let's clear out! Wait! You can't just leave me dangling up here! Sure, I can.
Let's go get some sushi! Wait.
No! No, please! You can't just leave me dangling here! No! No! Don't leave me dangling! Don't leave me dangling! Okay, iCarly.
com is back under our control, and we are live.
- We're back.
- Sorry for that little interruption.
- We don't think it'll happen again.
- Nope.
And now, a first for iCarly.
A world-famous band is gonna perform live, right here - Right now.
- So please welcome The Plain White T's! Hey, I'm Tom Higgenson.
Before we do this song, I wanna thank Carly's brother Spencer for saving my life.
Spencer, you're a heck of a guy and you wear some rocking socks.
It's true! All right, let's do this for iCarly.
(Plain White T's - Our Time Now) There will be no rules tonight If there were, we'd break them Nothing's gonna stop us now Let's get down to it Nervous hands and anxious smiles I can feel you breathing This is right where we belong Turn up the music This is the dance for all the lovers Taking a chance for one another Finally, it's our time now These are the times that we'll remember Breaking the city's heart together Finally, it's our time now It's our time now This is more than just romance It's an endless summer I can feel the butterflies leading me through it Take my heart, I'll take your hand As we're falling under This is an addiction, girl Let's give in to it This is the dance for all the lovers Taking a chance for one another Finally, it's our time now These are the times that we'll remember Breaking the city's heart together Finally it's our time now It's our time now Finally, it's our time now Oh, my gosh! - Hey! - You, there! You wanna see us do stuff you can't see anywhere else? - Do you? - I think they do.
- Then go online to iCarly.
com.
- Yeah.
Go to iCarly.
com.
- Use your computer.
- It's the best way to get there.
Once you get to iCarly.
Com, you can see me and Carly - And Freddie and Spencer - And our other friends Do all kinds of wacky, fun stuff.
You know you like wacky, fun stuff! So go online to iCarly.
com.
And see stuff you can't see anywhere else.
- Only at iCarly.
com.
- So go there.
- Do it.
- Seriously.
- Bye.
- Bye.