Legacies (2018) s01e11 Episode Script
We're Gonna Need a Spotlight
1 Previously on Legacies Europe was amazing.
It's chaos around here.
Yesterday I came into possession of another Malivore artifact.
Now monsters that shouldn't exist have been coming after it.
- Where is Hope? - She was in my dream.
- What was Hope doing in your dream? - RAFAEL: The usual, just being a badass.
I'm not gonna be afraid of losing you anymore, Hope.
'Cause I'm gonna be the guy who always fights to find you again.
- What's all that? - I was thinking we could spell a barrier around the urn.
So the next monster shows up, we can trap it.
[BELL RINGING.]
Sounds like the trap worked.
I know this is important, but you couldn't have put pants on first? Little early for snark, Hope.
Any guesses on what famous monster from filmland we get to slay today? [SCOFFS.]
With our luck, it'll be Cthulhu.
[HORSE SPUTTERS.]
False alarm.
It's just a horse.
Must've gotten out of the stables and wandered across the barrier spell.
HOPE: Except we don't have a white horse.
[GASPS.]
Hey, wait, wait.
- Hold your fire.
- It's a monster, Hope.
- It's here to take the artifact.
- You're not seriously - suggesting we kill a unicorn? - I'm suggesting we don't give it a pass because it's cute.
Can't we just leave it alone? It's trapped, it's not going anywhere.
It's harmless.
ALARIC: Hope's right.
As long as we keep it alive, other creatures won't be coming for the urn.
- [SLUG SQUEAKING.]
- So we just stay alert and let it be.
[SLUG SQUEALS.]
DORIAN: All right, well, I'll be on alert back in bed.
[DORIAN SIGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
[SLUG CHITTERING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Morning, handsome.
- Hey.
- Handsomes.
Mmm.
Sweet, sweet carbs.
Somebody's in a really good mood.
Hmm.
Just woke up on the right side of the bed, I guess.
- For the first time ever? - [GIGGLES.]
You're so funny.
I love that about you.
Remember what Mom said.
We are airy clouds floating high above a turbulent sea of drama.
Two clouds who are not triggered by seeing ex-boyfriends.
LIZZIE: Who also do not make out with ex-girlfriends.
- Hmm.
- Thanks to Mom, I have a silver lining.
Saltzman Twins 2.
0.
Good morning, Rafael.
Hi.
Uh, how was your-your trip? Excellent.
Thank you.
And welcome back, Landon.
Didn't you vote me out? That's all in the past.
Now, is everyone as excited as I am about tonight? What's happening tonight? [LAUGHS.]
The school's annual talent show.
All the factions compete.
You know, the witch performance wouldn't be the same - without you two.
- Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
[MUSICAL CHIME.]
If I could have your attention.
Last night we were able to capture a monster here on the grounds.
We have everything under control.
But given this potential danger, it is with a heavy heart that I must postpone the talent show.
- [STUDENTS GROANING.]
- Hopefully, we'll be able to reschedule this unique event at a later date.
A much, much later date.
[CHUCKLES.]
HOPE: Kind of overkill if you ask me.
I told your dad that a unicorn barely counts as a monster.
LIZZIE: Dearest father.
Does this dangerous monster happen to be a magical pony? Maybe.
Of all of the manipulative ploys to [GASPS.]
With all due respect, I think that this is a matter for the honor council.
Well, then bring it up at next month's meeting.
Was actually thinking of calling an emergency session.
And I think I know how we're gonna vote.
- [MUSICAL CHIME.]
- LIZZIE: Good news, friends.
The talent show is going on as previously scheduled.
[LAUGHS.]
So, Lizzie's acting weird.
She's not the only one.
Babe.
We should do a talent.
What? - Uh, you and me? - I never wanted to before 'cause I would have had to do it alone.
But now I have you.
And we make up our own faction.
The tribrid and you.
Yeah, all right, yeah.
Team Other.
[CHUCKLES.]
[HOPE LAUGHING.]
This is so much fun.
I don't know why we don't do this more often.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Hey, do you know where they moved the stupid canes for the talent show? Lizzie was asking me to find them.
- You seem very anti-cane.
- No.
Uh, just anti-doing the same exact thing every year.
But it's fine.
I'll keep an eye out.
But, um I think someone has an eye out for you.
Oh, dear God, hide me.
[HOPE MUMBLES.]
Hi.
Just make sure you read it in private.
I'm not gonna read it at all.
Okay, what do you think it says? "Check this box if you want to kiss me, check this box if you want to kill me"? I don't know and I do not want to find out.
If you need me to help you smite the she-devil, I got you, girl.
Okay.
Did Emma just slip you happy pills or something while we were gone? No, just having a good day.
That makes one of us.
I got to get to class but your day is gonna get so much better, Jo.
I just know it.
Vampires, werewolves, dragons.
I mean, I have faced terrifying danger in my life.
But there's only one day in my calendar marked with a black "X.
" One day I fear above all others.
Because if I have to hear somebody sing how many minutes there are in a year one more time I'm gonna throw myself to the unicorn.
[EMMA LAUGHS.]
So why don't you play hooky with me? [LAUGHS.]
What? The latest monster is harmless, your daughters are playing nice, and no one is paying attention to school.
So give yourself the day off.
[UNICORN WHINNIES.]
DORIAN: Look at you.
Eating hay.
Acting all innocent.
[NICKERS.]
You might have fooled everybody else, but I got my eye on you, okay? Yeah.
That's right.
[SLUG CHITTERING.]
"It's a unicorn, Dorian.
Don't hurt the unicorn.
" Unicorn.
LIZZIE: And a five, six, seven, eight.
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Looks like we haven't been practicing.
And some of your outfits must have shrunk.
Or maybe there were just too many late-night visits to the ca [GASPS.]
But it's fine.
We'll adjust.
From the top.
Josie? Where is Josie? [EXHALES.]
Oh.
[GASPS.]
Am I late? Where are the canes? I don't know.
I actually went to go find them, right? But then I was thinking, I don't feel like stressing about it.
Y-You didn't want? Okay.
That's fine.
Why don't you just take your usual place? Ah, about that.
I was actually thinking, I really don't feel like being in the back row.
Uh, well, I know you haven't been practicing.
But if you want - to be in the front, you - I mean, I just think we should scrap that lame routine, right? Do something totally different.
It'd be super fun, right? And without the canes.
- It'd be fun.
- [LAUGHTER.]
But, my beloved sister, this is the routine we do every year.
- Because we win.
- [SLURPS.]
Every year.
I think I should sing a new song.
[FORCED LAUGH.]
And then everybody can contribute some choreography, and it can be like a real collaboration, hmm.
Doesn't that just sound [INHALES SHARPLY.]
nice? Mm.
Hmm.
- RAFAEL: Hey.
- Hey.
- Thank you for coming.
- Anything to avoid the wolves talking about that stupid talent show.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Apparently, deciding what we do is a - alpha thing.
- Hmm.
Once you have your gel mixed, make a shallow cut on your volunteer.
Do you trust me? Kind of.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Thought this would be something you'd want to do with Landon.
If I mess up, you'll heal on your own.
Plus, you're a little sturdier.
So, what are you gonna do? Huh? For the talent show.
Oh, um, one of the wolves said he was gonna teach me to-to juggle.
Juggle? Come on, you should do something bold, spontaneous.
Totally unexpected.
Huh.
Well done, Hope.
Thank you, Ms.
Featherwood.
See? Sorry to bolt, but I gotta go figure what Landon and I are good at together.
Besides making out.
Yeah, no problem.
I can't believe I went from having practically no one at this school to having a boyfriend and a true friend I know I can count on.
I'm so lucky to have you both.
[LAUGHTER.]
All right, y'all.
All right, hold on.
I'm thinking maybe we could compel people to do stupid human tricks.
[ALL BOOING.]
Okay, all right.
Hold on.
Is anyone up for stand-up comedy? Huh? - [ALL BOOING.]
- Yeah? No.
Okay.
All right.
- Y'all don't want to do anything fun.
- [SCOFFS.]
Man, this whole thing is a total waste of time.
Well, I guess we could just boycott the whole show.
MG, we should be using this time to take a stand.
Right? I mean, come on.
Like, we-we should We should Uh, we should We-we should sing.
We should sing.
We shou We should sing That'll show 'em.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Right? Huh? No, thank Okay, okay.
All right, you, get me a piano.
MG, we're gonna need a spotlight.
Everyone else, line up.
I need to see how high you can kick.
HOPE: If it's gooey, then it's not done.
Mm-mm.
Are you sure cake decorating counts as a talent? Well, um, you told me that you don't know karate, then you stepped on my feet during salsa, and then you straight up refused to try - synchronized ribbon dancing.
- Sorry.
My dignity wouldn't fit in the unitard.
[LAUGHS.]
You know, it's not too late to pull out that notebook of lyrics that you have and sing something.
I don't really sing in front of people.
- Those songs are private.
- Okay, well cake decorating it is.
And you know what? You're gonna like it.
[LAUGHING.]
: Sorry.
I like whatever's gotten into you lately.
Yeah? The only thing that would make this day better Huh? is if we went and got rid of that urn.
As the person that stole the knife that started this whole thing, trust me, that sounds like a bad idea.
It'll be fun.
It'll be like a road trip.
We'll just grab the damn thing and take it wherever it leads us.
From what that Necromancer told you, Malivore is where that leads us, and we have no idea where that is.
- Are you feeling okay? - We can talk about it on the road.
I The cake.
Oh [COUGHS.]
[COUGHING.]
Hope, turn on the vent.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God! Landon.
What is that? [SCREECHING.]
You ever see Wrath of Khan? [ECHOING WHISPER.]
Mr.
Williams, we need your help.
Dr.
Saltzman's been MIA, and this creepy slug came out of my ear.
Did it look like this? Yep, exactly like that.
This one tried getting into me.
I was hoping it was the only one.
I think our harmless friend the unicorn brought it onto school grounds to infect all of us.
[UNICORN SNORTS.]
[NEIGHING WILDLY.]
[PAINED GROANING.]
HOPE: See? Harmless.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Birds flying high - [APPLAUSE.]
You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Yeah Reeds driftin' on by [APPLAUSE.]
You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling - Good - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [KALEB VOCALIZING.]
I'm feeling good [SINGERS VOCALIZING.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey Stars, when you shine - You know how I feel - You know, you know Scent of the pine You know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine And I'm feeling [SINGERS VOCALIZING.]
Hey, hey Said I'm feeling good - Hey, yeah, yeah - [VOCALIZING CONTINUES.]
'Cause I'm feeling good [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
It's the light of day Touch the sky Say it's the dawn, it's the day, it's the light, yeah Say it's the dawn, it's the day, it's the light For me And I'm feeling good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
It is not a showstopping finale cane number without canes, so find them.
And get dressed.
Please.
Hey.
I thought you were avoiding me.
I was.
I mean, I am.
You're not doing a very good job.
Maybe I'm sick of always doing a good job.
Do you want to get out of here? Okay, we have no idea how long the unicorn was infected before it keeled over, so we should figure this out right now.
I thought only one monster comes for the urn at a time.
Except the unicorn wasn't the monster.
It was just the host to this thing.
A parasite.
It hitched a ride here in that Trojan horse, and then it moved on to us.
From what Hope describes, it sounds like it latches onto the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain associated with inhibitions.
So, I was slug-drunk? Since we have multiple slugs, it must replicate inside the host, and then lie in wait for the opportunity to infect someone else.
I'm good on the gory details, thank you.
- How do we stop it? - That's the weirdest part.
I can't find any ancient legends about a creature like this.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers? The Faculty.
I say again, Wrath of Khan.
Sci-fi is our modern-day myths.
Meaning they could have been inspired by something, right? In those movies, it's all about mind control.
Before the slug popped out, Hope wanted to take the urn someplace.
I'm guessing Malivore.
So, it's like an infection.
It gets worse as it spreads.
Stage one, it-it lowers your inhibitions.
It makes you act out of character.
Stage two, once you're susceptible to suggestion, you'll do whatever the slug wants.
LANDON: Till stage three.
You go the way of the unicorn.
Did you see this? Parts of this thing look bioluminescent.
Let me check that out.
Whoa.
See that? I don't want to know, do I? - Probably not.
- Nope.
Nope.
You know what? We can use these lights to find anyone who's been infected.
ALARIC: I think I liked the last three bars better than this one.
EMMA: [LAUGHS.]
The perils of small-town life.
You quickly exhaust your drinking establishment options.
- Indeed.
- [GIGGLES.]
Now, no more changing the subject.
Let's talk about you.
The game's called "Truth or Shot.
" Need me to explain the rules? I have a doctorate in history and drinking games.
[LAUGHS.]
What was your most embarrassing childhood memory? Follow me [LAUGHS.]
: Oh.
- That bad, huh? [LAUGHS.]
- Ah.
Actually, I peed myself in right field during a Little League game.
- I just needed a drink.
- [LAUGHS.]
All right, it's my turn.
- Yeah.
- All righty.
Who was your first kiss? I'm a madman [LAUGHS.]
Oh-ho, this could get ugly.
Oh! Warm-up's over.
Okay.
Why are you always so hard on yourself, Dr.
Saltzman? Because I can't afford to make mistakes.
If I mess up, it affects hundreds of people.
Mostly kids, including my own.
And they always need me to have the answer.
And what do you need? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ugh.
[SIGHS.]
Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? 'Cause I'm a madman You must be joking.
[LAUGHS.]
After all this time, now you ask me? I take it my timing is off.
[MOANS SOFTLY.]
I just started seeing someone.
He's a good man.
[STAMMERS.]
Then say no more.
[CHUCKLES.]
Say no more.
[SIGHS.]
This is why I hate sci-fi.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
We need a way to de-slug whosever infected, fast.
When I touched the switch to the kitchen vent, it shocked me, - and that's when the slug popped out.
- Great.
So we just have to find a way to electrocute every student in the school - without killing them.
- If we don't, they're dead anyway.
I'm gonna call Ric.
[SIGHS.]
[APPLAUSE.]
My name is Rafael, and my talent is spoken word poetry.
[FINGERS SNAPPING.]
LANDON: Oh, no.
He promised he wouldn't do this again.
[SNAPPING STOPS.]
[EXHALES.]
Stillness.
A light breaks inside.
Unity.
And division.
Tension.
Suddenly, I remember why I didn't want to be in the talent show.
All these wolves staring at me, waiting for the answer.
Expectation is a cancer.
Oh, you can't, sir? Then who will? [BASS STRUMMING.]
[STRUMMING STOPS.]
Two brothers brought up together.
Then one's left behind because he's no longer needed.
Violence inside of me.
Inside, I'm, I'm bleeding.
What's he talking about? And I can't believe what I'm feeling, since the moment you danced with me.
Buried so deep, rising up, enchanting me.
And it won't go away.
And I was never jealous of anything that you had until today.
And why is that artifact here? Monsters coming, people running.
Ask for answers, always nothing.
I say we get rid of it.
So they're all infected? Okay.
Yeah, I'm not gonna wait around to find out.
[STUDENTS SHOUTING.]
Vessera portus.
That should hold the pod people in for now.
Let's go.
[SHOUTING ECHOING.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
All by myself Don't want to be All by myself Anymore [VOCALIZING.]
I had the time of my life And I never felt this way before Yes, I swear, it's the truth And I owe it all to you [PHONE RINGING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Ooh.
[SIGHS.]
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING.]
- Don't trip! - Geez.
- Dorian.
What's up? - [LAUGHS.]
Ric, there's mind-control slugs loose at the school making people act crazy.
Electricity is the only way to de-slug them, so we got to find a way to shock everybody.
We're on our way.
Mind-control slugs? We're totally infected, aren't we? It would explain why we're here, drinking on a school day.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[MOANS.]
Does this mean we have to shock ourselves? Yes.
Or we could just take off, grab that ugly urn and, I don't know, throw it in a river or something.
We probably shouldn't do anything drastic while we're infected.
You are probably right.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Yeah.
Just, uh, wanted to do that whilst we both still had an excuse.
We should find excuses more often.
Yeah.
- [MOANS.]
- You want to shock yourself? - [GROANS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
- Okay.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
Oh, my God.
- Whoa! Whoa! - Oh, my God! Don't let it go! - That was gross.
- [EXHALES.]
- I guess it's my turn.
- Yeah.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Well, that's totally awkward.
I sealed the doors with a spell, - but it won't hold forever.
- All right.
These chains should help until we come up with a better solution.
I'll get the doors downstairs.
At least we have all the infected people in one place.
What are you two doing out here? Have you two gone crazy? You've been infected with a mind-controlling parasite.
That's why you've been so nice all day.
That is not why I have been hey! I don't see any slug trails.
What are you freaks talking a ow.
- What was that? - Unchain me, and maybe I will tell you, you thrift store hobbit.
[GASPS.]
I don't think she's infected.
Then why are you acting so weird? I'm not acting weird, I am turning over a new leaf.
With this I spelled it to zap me whenever I said anything mean.
And in increasing voltage.
- Worst idea ever.
- No.
That's genius.
That's why there's no slug in her.
She's been zapping herself.
Then why are you wandering around here, instead of at the talent show like everyone else? I was looking for Josie.
She's been acting weird all day and then she just bailed on the performance.
Probably because she's infected.
We need to find her, now.
Stop.
Stop! You're all getting detention.
ALARIC: Dorian? Dorian! Stand back.
Vessera portus.
I'm so glad you're okay.
I'm flattered.
I may have found a solution to our slug problem.
[GRUNTING.]
: Small spaces.
[STUDENTS SHOUTING IN DISTANCE.]
EMMA: Aximander Dust.
It was favored by the witches of the Roman Empire.
It conducts electricity through anything it touches.
Think of it as chain lightning.
All you need is a spark.
Lecutio.
[SLUGS SHRIEKING.]
[GRUNTS.]
So what was in that note that you gave me? You were supposed to read it.
You can't just tell me what it says? That's what was in it.
You know that we're never getting back together, right? There.
That's the urn.
Let's go.
You drive.
Not so fast, Thelma and Louise.
[ECHOING.]
: Icaeus.
[SHOUTS.]
Found the canes.
You shouldn't have done that.
Jo.
Don't.
This isn't you.
You don't even know the real me.
Then answer one question while you're saying how you really feel.
Am I a good sister? Are you kidding me? You're a terrible sister.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [SHOUTS.]
[SLUG SCREECHING.]
[EXHALES.]
Lizzie Lizzie, I'm so sorry.
Hey.
Wait up.
Raf, um, we got some things we need to talk about? [SIGHS.]
Dude, you know I had that thing in me making me act crazy.
- I don't even know what I said.
- [MUSICAL CHIME.]
ALARIC: Attention, students.
Given the incredibly odd and distressing day we've all had, I'm thinking we could all use a little pick-me-up, like a talent show redo.
[APPLAUSE.]
Uh, so, we're good? Like, for real? Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Always.
I'm happy for you.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
- I'll see you.
- All right.
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the vampire faction has chosen for their talent to do a sit-in protest.
[ALL BOOING.]
Okay, okay.
All right, witches, grab a cane.
I've got some new choreography.
Thank God.
I can't believe I actually wanted to sing.
Oh, you're still singing.
- What? - Those slugs revealed your uninhibited self.
You really want to share the spotlight with the worst sister ever, Josie Saltzman? The spotlight is officially yours.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CHATTER QUIETS.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
Standing in the shadows I thought that I earned it [STUDENTS MURMURING.]
Feeling invisible Believing I deserved it I can't remember What I was waiting for So no more [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I'm climbing over walls that I've made I'm finding my place On the stage I'm gonna be leaving All those doubts behind I'm step, I'm stepping into the light I'm gonna be spreading My wings Following a path They can't see Chasing an adventure That's all mine I'm step, I'm stepping into the light I'm shedding the skin that I'm in Never hiding who I am Ever again That girl you knew She's ready to ignite I'm step, I'm stepping into the light.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hi.
So it took three showers, but I think I'm finally clean.
- Three of 'em? Wow.
- Three.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't have slug envy or anything, but why do you think I wasn't infected? I mean, it got pretty much everybody, except Lizzie, and she had the bracelet.
Unless something's just wrong with me.
- I don't, I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
Professional monster hunter Hope Mikaelson doesn't even have a theory? I guess I'll add it to the list of unexplainable things about Landon Kirby.
[CHUCKLES.]
I was being ridiculous all day.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
But I was happy.
The things I said, how I acted Maybe it could be that way all the time.
Maybe the only thing that's keeping me from being happy is me.
You know, if life was about being happy all the time, neither of us would've survived this long.
Which would be a real shame because then you would never hear how bad I am at singing.
Oh, boy.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh [PLAYING GUITAR.]
About those eyes They way they spark when she's about to pick a fight When we disagree and she knows that she's right About that smile she tries to hide 'Cause that's what They expect her to When no one's watching, it lights up the room About the time you think You've locked your heart up safely Someone breaks right through And all of her Fascinating contradictions Are beautiful to you I'm falling for a girl And I can't wait To tell you all about her About last night I saw a vision of the future In my dream And I can't wait To meet who you will be So I can know everything About her.
LIZZIE: I tortured myself trying so hard to be nice, and all it got me was a headache and everyone thinking that I was infected.
They just don't think that I can change.
Everyone just assumes that I'm going to be a bitch.
Maybe I should just be what they want me to be.
- Well, that seems reductive.
- Does it though? We won, didn't we? The witches remain undefeated.
So that is why I have decided to permanently unleash my inner bitch.
Thank you, Daddy.
- This has been the perfect talk.
- Hmm.
So when I got slugged today, do you think that that's the real me? You know, some people think that the real you comes out when your inhibitions are lowered, but in my experience, sometimes what really defines someone is what they won't do.
[CHUCKLING.]
EMMA [ON RECORDING.]
: You've reached Emma's phone.
Leave a message.
- [BEEPS.]
- ALARIC: Emma, I just wanted to leave a message and say I'm sorry.
None of this would've happened if it wasn't for that slug mixing everything up.
I hate that urn.
So I'm just gonna get rid of it.
It's chaos around here.
Yesterday I came into possession of another Malivore artifact.
Now monsters that shouldn't exist have been coming after it.
- Where is Hope? - She was in my dream.
- What was Hope doing in your dream? - RAFAEL: The usual, just being a badass.
I'm not gonna be afraid of losing you anymore, Hope.
'Cause I'm gonna be the guy who always fights to find you again.
- What's all that? - I was thinking we could spell a barrier around the urn.
So the next monster shows up, we can trap it.
[BELL RINGING.]
Sounds like the trap worked.
I know this is important, but you couldn't have put pants on first? Little early for snark, Hope.
Any guesses on what famous monster from filmland we get to slay today? [SCOFFS.]
With our luck, it'll be Cthulhu.
[HORSE SPUTTERS.]
False alarm.
It's just a horse.
Must've gotten out of the stables and wandered across the barrier spell.
HOPE: Except we don't have a white horse.
[GASPS.]
Hey, wait, wait.
- Hold your fire.
- It's a monster, Hope.
- It's here to take the artifact.
- You're not seriously - suggesting we kill a unicorn? - I'm suggesting we don't give it a pass because it's cute.
Can't we just leave it alone? It's trapped, it's not going anywhere.
It's harmless.
ALARIC: Hope's right.
As long as we keep it alive, other creatures won't be coming for the urn.
- [SLUG SQUEAKING.]
- So we just stay alert and let it be.
[SLUG SQUEALS.]
DORIAN: All right, well, I'll be on alert back in bed.
[DORIAN SIGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
[SLUG CHITTERING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Morning, handsome.
- Hey.
- Handsomes.
Mmm.
Sweet, sweet carbs.
Somebody's in a really good mood.
Hmm.
Just woke up on the right side of the bed, I guess.
- For the first time ever? - [GIGGLES.]
You're so funny.
I love that about you.
Remember what Mom said.
We are airy clouds floating high above a turbulent sea of drama.
Two clouds who are not triggered by seeing ex-boyfriends.
LIZZIE: Who also do not make out with ex-girlfriends.
- Hmm.
- Thanks to Mom, I have a silver lining.
Saltzman Twins 2.
0.
Good morning, Rafael.
Hi.
Uh, how was your-your trip? Excellent.
Thank you.
And welcome back, Landon.
Didn't you vote me out? That's all in the past.
Now, is everyone as excited as I am about tonight? What's happening tonight? [LAUGHS.]
The school's annual talent show.
All the factions compete.
You know, the witch performance wouldn't be the same - without you two.
- Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
[MUSICAL CHIME.]
If I could have your attention.
Last night we were able to capture a monster here on the grounds.
We have everything under control.
But given this potential danger, it is with a heavy heart that I must postpone the talent show.
- [STUDENTS GROANING.]
- Hopefully, we'll be able to reschedule this unique event at a later date.
A much, much later date.
[CHUCKLES.]
HOPE: Kind of overkill if you ask me.
I told your dad that a unicorn barely counts as a monster.
LIZZIE: Dearest father.
Does this dangerous monster happen to be a magical pony? Maybe.
Of all of the manipulative ploys to [GASPS.]
With all due respect, I think that this is a matter for the honor council.
Well, then bring it up at next month's meeting.
Was actually thinking of calling an emergency session.
And I think I know how we're gonna vote.
- [MUSICAL CHIME.]
- LIZZIE: Good news, friends.
The talent show is going on as previously scheduled.
[LAUGHS.]
So, Lizzie's acting weird.
She's not the only one.
Babe.
We should do a talent.
What? - Uh, you and me? - I never wanted to before 'cause I would have had to do it alone.
But now I have you.
And we make up our own faction.
The tribrid and you.
Yeah, all right, yeah.
Team Other.
[CHUCKLES.]
[HOPE LAUGHING.]
This is so much fun.
I don't know why we don't do this more often.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Hey, do you know where they moved the stupid canes for the talent show? Lizzie was asking me to find them.
- You seem very anti-cane.
- No.
Uh, just anti-doing the same exact thing every year.
But it's fine.
I'll keep an eye out.
But, um I think someone has an eye out for you.
Oh, dear God, hide me.
[HOPE MUMBLES.]
Hi.
Just make sure you read it in private.
I'm not gonna read it at all.
Okay, what do you think it says? "Check this box if you want to kiss me, check this box if you want to kill me"? I don't know and I do not want to find out.
If you need me to help you smite the she-devil, I got you, girl.
Okay.
Did Emma just slip you happy pills or something while we were gone? No, just having a good day.
That makes one of us.
I got to get to class but your day is gonna get so much better, Jo.
I just know it.
Vampires, werewolves, dragons.
I mean, I have faced terrifying danger in my life.
But there's only one day in my calendar marked with a black "X.
" One day I fear above all others.
Because if I have to hear somebody sing how many minutes there are in a year one more time I'm gonna throw myself to the unicorn.
[EMMA LAUGHS.]
So why don't you play hooky with me? [LAUGHS.]
What? The latest monster is harmless, your daughters are playing nice, and no one is paying attention to school.
So give yourself the day off.
[UNICORN WHINNIES.]
DORIAN: Look at you.
Eating hay.
Acting all innocent.
[NICKERS.]
You might have fooled everybody else, but I got my eye on you, okay? Yeah.
That's right.
[SLUG CHITTERING.]
"It's a unicorn, Dorian.
Don't hurt the unicorn.
" Unicorn.
LIZZIE: And a five, six, seven, eight.
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Looks like we haven't been practicing.
And some of your outfits must have shrunk.
Or maybe there were just too many late-night visits to the ca [GASPS.]
But it's fine.
We'll adjust.
From the top.
Josie? Where is Josie? [EXHALES.]
Oh.
[GASPS.]
Am I late? Where are the canes? I don't know.
I actually went to go find them, right? But then I was thinking, I don't feel like stressing about it.
Y-You didn't want? Okay.
That's fine.
Why don't you just take your usual place? Ah, about that.
I was actually thinking, I really don't feel like being in the back row.
Uh, well, I know you haven't been practicing.
But if you want - to be in the front, you - I mean, I just think we should scrap that lame routine, right? Do something totally different.
It'd be super fun, right? And without the canes.
- It'd be fun.
- [LAUGHTER.]
But, my beloved sister, this is the routine we do every year.
- Because we win.
- [SLURPS.]
Every year.
I think I should sing a new song.
[FORCED LAUGH.]
And then everybody can contribute some choreography, and it can be like a real collaboration, hmm.
Doesn't that just sound [INHALES SHARPLY.]
nice? Mm.
Hmm.
- RAFAEL: Hey.
- Hey.
- Thank you for coming.
- Anything to avoid the wolves talking about that stupid talent show.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Apparently, deciding what we do is a - alpha thing.
- Hmm.
Once you have your gel mixed, make a shallow cut on your volunteer.
Do you trust me? Kind of.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Thought this would be something you'd want to do with Landon.
If I mess up, you'll heal on your own.
Plus, you're a little sturdier.
So, what are you gonna do? Huh? For the talent show.
Oh, um, one of the wolves said he was gonna teach me to-to juggle.
Juggle? Come on, you should do something bold, spontaneous.
Totally unexpected.
Huh.
Well done, Hope.
Thank you, Ms.
Featherwood.
See? Sorry to bolt, but I gotta go figure what Landon and I are good at together.
Besides making out.
Yeah, no problem.
I can't believe I went from having practically no one at this school to having a boyfriend and a true friend I know I can count on.
I'm so lucky to have you both.
[LAUGHTER.]
All right, y'all.
All right, hold on.
I'm thinking maybe we could compel people to do stupid human tricks.
[ALL BOOING.]
Okay, all right.
Hold on.
Is anyone up for stand-up comedy? Huh? - [ALL BOOING.]
- Yeah? No.
Okay.
All right.
- Y'all don't want to do anything fun.
- [SCOFFS.]
Man, this whole thing is a total waste of time.
Well, I guess we could just boycott the whole show.
MG, we should be using this time to take a stand.
Right? I mean, come on.
Like, we-we should We should Uh, we should We-we should sing.
We should sing.
We shou We should sing That'll show 'em.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Right? Huh? No, thank Okay, okay.
All right, you, get me a piano.
MG, we're gonna need a spotlight.
Everyone else, line up.
I need to see how high you can kick.
HOPE: If it's gooey, then it's not done.
Mm-mm.
Are you sure cake decorating counts as a talent? Well, um, you told me that you don't know karate, then you stepped on my feet during salsa, and then you straight up refused to try - synchronized ribbon dancing.
- Sorry.
My dignity wouldn't fit in the unitard.
[LAUGHS.]
You know, it's not too late to pull out that notebook of lyrics that you have and sing something.
I don't really sing in front of people.
- Those songs are private.
- Okay, well cake decorating it is.
And you know what? You're gonna like it.
[LAUGHING.]
: Sorry.
I like whatever's gotten into you lately.
Yeah? The only thing that would make this day better Huh? is if we went and got rid of that urn.
As the person that stole the knife that started this whole thing, trust me, that sounds like a bad idea.
It'll be fun.
It'll be like a road trip.
We'll just grab the damn thing and take it wherever it leads us.
From what that Necromancer told you, Malivore is where that leads us, and we have no idea where that is.
- Are you feeling okay? - We can talk about it on the road.
I The cake.
Oh [COUGHS.]
[COUGHING.]
Hope, turn on the vent.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God! Landon.
What is that? [SCREECHING.]
You ever see Wrath of Khan? [ECHOING WHISPER.]
Mr.
Williams, we need your help.
Dr.
Saltzman's been MIA, and this creepy slug came out of my ear.
Did it look like this? Yep, exactly like that.
This one tried getting into me.
I was hoping it was the only one.
I think our harmless friend the unicorn brought it onto school grounds to infect all of us.
[UNICORN SNORTS.]
[NEIGHING WILDLY.]
[PAINED GROANING.]
HOPE: See? Harmless.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Birds flying high - [APPLAUSE.]
You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Yeah Reeds driftin' on by [APPLAUSE.]
You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling - Good - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [KALEB VOCALIZING.]
I'm feeling good [SINGERS VOCALIZING.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey Stars, when you shine - You know how I feel - You know, you know Scent of the pine You know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine And I'm feeling [SINGERS VOCALIZING.]
Hey, hey Said I'm feeling good - Hey, yeah, yeah - [VOCALIZING CONTINUES.]
'Cause I'm feeling good [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
It's the light of day Touch the sky Say it's the dawn, it's the day, it's the light, yeah Say it's the dawn, it's the day, it's the light For me And I'm feeling good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
It is not a showstopping finale cane number without canes, so find them.
And get dressed.
Please.
Hey.
I thought you were avoiding me.
I was.
I mean, I am.
You're not doing a very good job.
Maybe I'm sick of always doing a good job.
Do you want to get out of here? Okay, we have no idea how long the unicorn was infected before it keeled over, so we should figure this out right now.
I thought only one monster comes for the urn at a time.
Except the unicorn wasn't the monster.
It was just the host to this thing.
A parasite.
It hitched a ride here in that Trojan horse, and then it moved on to us.
From what Hope describes, it sounds like it latches onto the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain associated with inhibitions.
So, I was slug-drunk? Since we have multiple slugs, it must replicate inside the host, and then lie in wait for the opportunity to infect someone else.
I'm good on the gory details, thank you.
- How do we stop it? - That's the weirdest part.
I can't find any ancient legends about a creature like this.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers? The Faculty.
I say again, Wrath of Khan.
Sci-fi is our modern-day myths.
Meaning they could have been inspired by something, right? In those movies, it's all about mind control.
Before the slug popped out, Hope wanted to take the urn someplace.
I'm guessing Malivore.
So, it's like an infection.
It gets worse as it spreads.
Stage one, it-it lowers your inhibitions.
It makes you act out of character.
Stage two, once you're susceptible to suggestion, you'll do whatever the slug wants.
LANDON: Till stage three.
You go the way of the unicorn.
Did you see this? Parts of this thing look bioluminescent.
Let me check that out.
Whoa.
See that? I don't want to know, do I? - Probably not.
- Nope.
Nope.
You know what? We can use these lights to find anyone who's been infected.
ALARIC: I think I liked the last three bars better than this one.
EMMA: [LAUGHS.]
The perils of small-town life.
You quickly exhaust your drinking establishment options.
- Indeed.
- [GIGGLES.]
Now, no more changing the subject.
Let's talk about you.
The game's called "Truth or Shot.
" Need me to explain the rules? I have a doctorate in history and drinking games.
[LAUGHS.]
What was your most embarrassing childhood memory? Follow me [LAUGHS.]
: Oh.
- That bad, huh? [LAUGHS.]
- Ah.
Actually, I peed myself in right field during a Little League game.
- I just needed a drink.
- [LAUGHS.]
All right, it's my turn.
- Yeah.
- All righty.
Who was your first kiss? I'm a madman [LAUGHS.]
Oh-ho, this could get ugly.
Oh! Warm-up's over.
Okay.
Why are you always so hard on yourself, Dr.
Saltzman? Because I can't afford to make mistakes.
If I mess up, it affects hundreds of people.
Mostly kids, including my own.
And they always need me to have the answer.
And what do you need? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ugh.
[SIGHS.]
Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? 'Cause I'm a madman You must be joking.
[LAUGHS.]
After all this time, now you ask me? I take it my timing is off.
[MOANS SOFTLY.]
I just started seeing someone.
He's a good man.
[STAMMERS.]
Then say no more.
[CHUCKLES.]
Say no more.
[SIGHS.]
This is why I hate sci-fi.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
We need a way to de-slug whosever infected, fast.
When I touched the switch to the kitchen vent, it shocked me, - and that's when the slug popped out.
- Great.
So we just have to find a way to electrocute every student in the school - without killing them.
- If we don't, they're dead anyway.
I'm gonna call Ric.
[SIGHS.]
[APPLAUSE.]
My name is Rafael, and my talent is spoken word poetry.
[FINGERS SNAPPING.]
LANDON: Oh, no.
He promised he wouldn't do this again.
[SNAPPING STOPS.]
[EXHALES.]
Stillness.
A light breaks inside.
Unity.
And division.
Tension.
Suddenly, I remember why I didn't want to be in the talent show.
All these wolves staring at me, waiting for the answer.
Expectation is a cancer.
Oh, you can't, sir? Then who will? [BASS STRUMMING.]
[STRUMMING STOPS.]
Two brothers brought up together.
Then one's left behind because he's no longer needed.
Violence inside of me.
Inside, I'm, I'm bleeding.
What's he talking about? And I can't believe what I'm feeling, since the moment you danced with me.
Buried so deep, rising up, enchanting me.
And it won't go away.
And I was never jealous of anything that you had until today.
And why is that artifact here? Monsters coming, people running.
Ask for answers, always nothing.
I say we get rid of it.
So they're all infected? Okay.
Yeah, I'm not gonna wait around to find out.
[STUDENTS SHOUTING.]
Vessera portus.
That should hold the pod people in for now.
Let's go.
[SHOUTING ECHOING.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
All by myself Don't want to be All by myself Anymore [VOCALIZING.]
I had the time of my life And I never felt this way before Yes, I swear, it's the truth And I owe it all to you [PHONE RINGING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Ooh.
[SIGHS.]
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING.]
- Don't trip! - Geez.
- Dorian.
What's up? - [LAUGHS.]
Ric, there's mind-control slugs loose at the school making people act crazy.
Electricity is the only way to de-slug them, so we got to find a way to shock everybody.
We're on our way.
Mind-control slugs? We're totally infected, aren't we? It would explain why we're here, drinking on a school day.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[MOANS.]
Does this mean we have to shock ourselves? Yes.
Or we could just take off, grab that ugly urn and, I don't know, throw it in a river or something.
We probably shouldn't do anything drastic while we're infected.
You are probably right.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Yeah.
Just, uh, wanted to do that whilst we both still had an excuse.
We should find excuses more often.
Yeah.
- [MOANS.]
- You want to shock yourself? - [GROANS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
- Okay.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
Oh, my God.
- Whoa! Whoa! - Oh, my God! Don't let it go! - That was gross.
- [EXHALES.]
- I guess it's my turn.
- Yeah.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Well, that's totally awkward.
I sealed the doors with a spell, - but it won't hold forever.
- All right.
These chains should help until we come up with a better solution.
I'll get the doors downstairs.
At least we have all the infected people in one place.
What are you two doing out here? Have you two gone crazy? You've been infected with a mind-controlling parasite.
That's why you've been so nice all day.
That is not why I have been hey! I don't see any slug trails.
What are you freaks talking a ow.
- What was that? - Unchain me, and maybe I will tell you, you thrift store hobbit.
[GASPS.]
I don't think she's infected.
Then why are you acting so weird? I'm not acting weird, I am turning over a new leaf.
With this I spelled it to zap me whenever I said anything mean.
And in increasing voltage.
- Worst idea ever.
- No.
That's genius.
That's why there's no slug in her.
She's been zapping herself.
Then why are you wandering around here, instead of at the talent show like everyone else? I was looking for Josie.
She's been acting weird all day and then she just bailed on the performance.
Probably because she's infected.
We need to find her, now.
Stop.
Stop! You're all getting detention.
ALARIC: Dorian? Dorian! Stand back.
Vessera portus.
I'm so glad you're okay.
I'm flattered.
I may have found a solution to our slug problem.
[GRUNTING.]
: Small spaces.
[STUDENTS SHOUTING IN DISTANCE.]
EMMA: Aximander Dust.
It was favored by the witches of the Roman Empire.
It conducts electricity through anything it touches.
Think of it as chain lightning.
All you need is a spark.
Lecutio.
[SLUGS SHRIEKING.]
[GRUNTS.]
So what was in that note that you gave me? You were supposed to read it.
You can't just tell me what it says? That's what was in it.
You know that we're never getting back together, right? There.
That's the urn.
Let's go.
You drive.
Not so fast, Thelma and Louise.
[ECHOING.]
: Icaeus.
[SHOUTS.]
Found the canes.
You shouldn't have done that.
Jo.
Don't.
This isn't you.
You don't even know the real me.
Then answer one question while you're saying how you really feel.
Am I a good sister? Are you kidding me? You're a terrible sister.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [SHOUTS.]
[SLUG SCREECHING.]
[EXHALES.]
Lizzie Lizzie, I'm so sorry.
Hey.
Wait up.
Raf, um, we got some things we need to talk about? [SIGHS.]
Dude, you know I had that thing in me making me act crazy.
- I don't even know what I said.
- [MUSICAL CHIME.]
ALARIC: Attention, students.
Given the incredibly odd and distressing day we've all had, I'm thinking we could all use a little pick-me-up, like a talent show redo.
[APPLAUSE.]
Uh, so, we're good? Like, for real? Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Always.
I'm happy for you.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
- I'll see you.
- All right.
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the vampire faction has chosen for their talent to do a sit-in protest.
[ALL BOOING.]
Okay, okay.
All right, witches, grab a cane.
I've got some new choreography.
Thank God.
I can't believe I actually wanted to sing.
Oh, you're still singing.
- What? - Those slugs revealed your uninhibited self.
You really want to share the spotlight with the worst sister ever, Josie Saltzman? The spotlight is officially yours.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CHATTER QUIETS.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
Standing in the shadows I thought that I earned it [STUDENTS MURMURING.]
Feeling invisible Believing I deserved it I can't remember What I was waiting for So no more [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I'm climbing over walls that I've made I'm finding my place On the stage I'm gonna be leaving All those doubts behind I'm step, I'm stepping into the light I'm gonna be spreading My wings Following a path They can't see Chasing an adventure That's all mine I'm step, I'm stepping into the light I'm shedding the skin that I'm in Never hiding who I am Ever again That girl you knew She's ready to ignite I'm step, I'm stepping into the light.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hi.
So it took three showers, but I think I'm finally clean.
- Three of 'em? Wow.
- Three.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't have slug envy or anything, but why do you think I wasn't infected? I mean, it got pretty much everybody, except Lizzie, and she had the bracelet.
Unless something's just wrong with me.
- I don't, I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
Professional monster hunter Hope Mikaelson doesn't even have a theory? I guess I'll add it to the list of unexplainable things about Landon Kirby.
[CHUCKLES.]
I was being ridiculous all day.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
But I was happy.
The things I said, how I acted Maybe it could be that way all the time.
Maybe the only thing that's keeping me from being happy is me.
You know, if life was about being happy all the time, neither of us would've survived this long.
Which would be a real shame because then you would never hear how bad I am at singing.
Oh, boy.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh [PLAYING GUITAR.]
About those eyes They way they spark when she's about to pick a fight When we disagree and she knows that she's right About that smile she tries to hide 'Cause that's what They expect her to When no one's watching, it lights up the room About the time you think You've locked your heart up safely Someone breaks right through And all of her Fascinating contradictions Are beautiful to you I'm falling for a girl And I can't wait To tell you all about her About last night I saw a vision of the future In my dream And I can't wait To meet who you will be So I can know everything About her.
LIZZIE: I tortured myself trying so hard to be nice, and all it got me was a headache and everyone thinking that I was infected.
They just don't think that I can change.
Everyone just assumes that I'm going to be a bitch.
Maybe I should just be what they want me to be.
- Well, that seems reductive.
- Does it though? We won, didn't we? The witches remain undefeated.
So that is why I have decided to permanently unleash my inner bitch.
Thank you, Daddy.
- This has been the perfect talk.
- Hmm.
So when I got slugged today, do you think that that's the real me? You know, some people think that the real you comes out when your inhibitions are lowered, but in my experience, sometimes what really defines someone is what they won't do.
[CHUCKLING.]
EMMA [ON RECORDING.]
: You've reached Emma's phone.
Leave a message.
- [BEEPS.]
- ALARIC: Emma, I just wanted to leave a message and say I'm sorry.
None of this would've happened if it wasn't for that slug mixing everything up.
I hate that urn.
So I'm just gonna get rid of it.