Mission: Impossible (1988) s01e11 Episode Script
The Greek
(Men talking quietly) Soshi, come back.
Come back, please.
They want me to sing.
Go below, Serena.
Please, Soshi.
Please, go.
Sing for my guests.
I'll see you shortly, huh? Huh? Promise? Sir.
(People chattering, laughing) (singing Italian opera aria) (motor stops) (singing continues) (theme music playing) (cable car bell clanging) (people chattering, bottles clanking) See you're keeping a lid on things.
Trying to.
Everybody wants to get their hands on these babies.
Well, it's not easy to find a good dark beer these days.
You can find the label you're looking for in that box over there.
(Beeping) MALE VOICE: Good morning, Jim.
One of our agents was recently killed in Southeast Asia while keeping surveillance on this man.
Socrates Colonnades is a Greek tycoon who uses his luxury yacht to smuggle drugs stolen from international relief organizations, drugs meant as medical supplies for Third World countries.
In so doing, Colonnades deprives desperate people of the medical assistance they need.
Colonnades has built a network of international dealers to distribute these drugs throughout the world as drugs of addiction.
Your mission, Jim, should you decide to accept it, is to neutralize Colonnades and to ensure that his organization no longer preys on the sick and starving of the Third World.
As always, should you or any member of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
This disc will self-destruct in five seconds.
Good luck, Jim.
(Rapid beeping) (hissing) Okay.
We'll need to be familiar with every inch of Colonnades's yacht.
(Trilling) PHELPS: If he follows his usual pattern, once his guests are aboard, he'll put to sea, to avoid any chance of being interrupted or overheard.
Do we know how many guests he's expecting? Four.
Each one of them head of a drug syndicate in his own country.
Plus the man they're all coming to meet.
PHELPS: Yes.
Joseph Salud.
He's a West African, and he's become Colonnades's major supplier of stolen drugs, simply by eliminating his predecessor.
What Colonnades doesn't know is that Salud has been arrested and charged for that murder.
Interpol is gonna keep it quiet as long as they can, and they've also detained another member of the syndicate for questioning, an Englishman named Dennis Smythe.
But if those two don't attend the meeting, Colonnades will call it off.
Oh, the meeting will take place.
And they'll all be there.
Phone, sir.
Hello.
Yes, this is Socrates Colonnades.
Who's speaking? Smythe? You're supposed to be here, Mr.
Smythe.
Where are you calling from? (British accent): I'm calling from England, where the taxation chappies seem to be taking an unseemly interest in my affairs.
So what does this mean? It means that I'll be sending someone to represent me.
Oh, no.
That's absolutely not acceptable.
Of course it is, old boy.
I'd hate to think anyone was going to take advantage of my absence.
Besides, he's already on his way.
Oh, to be sure the right man arrives, I'm faxing you his photograph at this very moment.
His name is Lawrence.
James Lawrence.
Spent most of his life in Canada.
But he's a nice fellow.
You'll like him.
All right, all right, I accept your substitution.
But I'm not happy with it.
Sir.
Well, he's rather dashing.
Your passport, Mr.
Lawrence.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's time I went yachting.
Give me an hour, Grant.
It'll take me that long to get dressed.
(People chattering) (engine starts) Mr.
Salud.
I'm Socrates Colonnades.
Welcome aboard.
(African accent): Thank you, Mr.
Colonnades.
It is my pleasure to be here.
Thank you.
Please, follow me.
Gentlemen, may I introduce Mr.
Joseph Salud from West Africa.
Mr.
Salud, this is Mr.
Alvarado, who will handle your merchandise throughout Europe.
Señor.
Mr.
Patterson from Australia.
G'day.
(Chuckles) Mr.
Woodward, our American partner.
Ah, Mr.
Woodward.
And representing our English connection, Mr.
Lawrence.
I'm happy to meet you, Mr.
Salud.
Thank you, Mr.
Lawrence.
Feeling is mutual.
What's the story, Colonnades? Are we supposed to do business with this clown? So, Mr.
Woodward wants to do business.
Then by all means, let's do business.
(Trilling) (gunshot) How many shots will you fire? Three misses.
One to kill.
SERENA (over radio): Soshi's always so good to me, Mr.
Salud.
But, you know, sometimes he forgets.
He's so busy with his charities.
All right, Serena.
Of course you'll have a drink with us, Mr.
Salud.
A toast to our success.
SERENA: Oh, but you must, Mr.
Salud.
It's bad luck to miss a toast, isn't it, Soshi? GRANT: Alcohol is a drug.
I don't take drugs.
Colonnades, what's going on here? Look, I liked it the way it was before.
You guys didn't know my face and I didn't know yours.
I built a very efficient organization, Mr.
Woodward, which you're all a part.
I thought we should all meet our new supplier of drugs and medical supplies after the unfortunate demise of Mr.
Salud's predecessor.
(laughs) Demise.
That certainly covers it.
It would be hard not to demise with your head in a cement block on the bottom of the ocean.
(laughs) Stand by to get underway.
Soon as they start their motors, they'll have 40 feet of fishing net wound around their propellers.
Yeah, that should keep them in port for a while.
(Max laughs) (propeller creaks) - Trouble below, sir.
- Stop the engines.
COLONNADES: I thought it best that we discuss the continuity of supply from West Africa.
I am sure we are all anxious to maintain the equitable arrangement we enjoyed with Mr.
Salud's late counterpart Mr.
Mombuto.
Excuse me.
I do admire your use of language, Colonnades.
But it seems to me we are talking about enjoying equitable arrangements.
You gentlemen had the enjoy of the late Mr.
Mombuto just became late.
So if you want equitable, then equitable starts with me.
I don't understand.
Oh, I think you do.
I'm talking finance.
Income for services rendered.
Legal tender.
I think Mr.
Salud is talking about more money.
I couldn't have phrased it better.
Are you trying to hold us up? If you don't like my terms, Woodward, you pull out.
There are others who will pay my price.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Lawrence? Well, I-I might, uh, pay a little more, perhaps.
Lawrence, why do I get the feeling that you and Salud have already had this conversation? Maybe Mr.
Lawrence is trying to get the jump on us.
I'm only trying to protect my syndicate's interests and to make sure that Mr.
Colonnades gives us each our fair share.
I look after your interest, Mr.
Lawrence.
And I decide what is your fair share.
You're all in this because of me.
You can be out just like that.
(Chuckles) Gentlemen, I don't see any reason to argue.
There's plenty for everyone.
We've got the war between Ethiopia and Eritrea.
With the droughts in the Sudan, the earthquakes in Armenia, the floods in Mali and Niger, disasters everywhere all in all, it's been a great year.
And it's going to make me very rich.
It might just make you very dead.
(Nail gun thuds) I guess we're ready to receive guests.
Yeah, as ready as we'll ever be.
- What is it? -It's the propellers.
Nets are wrapped on the propellers.
Needs to be cut.
(Men shouting indistinctly) A little trouble with the propellers.
We picked up a fisherman's net.
We cannot sail until morning.
Look, all I want to do is get my business over with and get the hell out of here.
The sooner I get away from these jackasses, the better.
Mr.
Woodward, I'm not prepared to discuss any business matters until we're safely at sea.
Well, isn't that being a little paranoid, Mr.
Colonnades? Who can hear us here? Let me show you something, Mr.
Lawrence.
(Electronic whirring) (man singing over speakers) A poor but happy fisherman.
He's off-key.
He's also nearly a mile away.
When we're at sea, well away from the town, the captain will be able to jam out any such eavesdropping techniques.
Perhaps I am paranoid.
I like to call it "careful.
" And being careful had made me a very wealthy man.
All right, so what do we do while they're clearing the propellers? You'll be my guests at the taverna.
Serena will sing for us.
Won't you, darling? I'd love to, Soshi.
Yeah, well, if it's all the same to you, Colonnades, I think I'll pass.
But it's not all the same to me, Mr.
Woodward.
You'll come with us, whether you wish to or not.
(Serena singing Italian opera aria) (singing high-pitched notes) (sustained high note) (song ends) ALL: Bravo! MAN: Beautiful.
Was I good, Soshi? COLONNADES: You were wonderful.
You were magnificent, Serena.
Thank you.
(Bouzouki music playing) (static crackles) Soshi is always so very good to me, Mr.
Salud, but, you know, sometimes he forgets.
He's very busy with his charities.
Now I want to record the newlines in your own voice.
Okay.
(Imitating Serena): "Soshi used to be so good to me, "Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know, I long for a real man.
A man like you.
" (tape rewinding) Good.
Play that back.
Soshi used to be so good to me, Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know, (voice modulates) I long for a real man.
(Identical Serena voice): A man like you.
That's great.
Now to record it.
Somehow I get the feeling Mr.
Colonnades is not especially fond of you.
Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual.
Whereas his lady friend seems to feel a little differently.
What? See what I mean? Not interested.
Serena.
Why don't you show us some traditional dancing, Colonnades, huh? Of course, but not tonight.
- Oh, yes, please, Soshi? - No Gentlemen, Colonnades is going to dance for us.
Dance! Come on! Not tonight.
Madam, with your permission.
Your perfume smells wonderful.
- Come on.
- Oh, yes.
- Teach me to dance, Colonnades.
- Yes, Soshi.
You will love this.
(People clapping in time with music) Will you join us, Mr.
Woodward and me for a drink? (Chuckles) That lady of yours, she certainly is a popular girl, huh? (plates breaking) -(song ends) -(cheering and applause) Mr.
Woodward, you are my guest, are you not? What's eating you, Colonnades? I must remind myself that a host has an obligation to his guests.
And I remind you that a guest Has an obligation to his host.
I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
It's time to return to the yacht.
Come.
Soshi, so soon? Hey, listen! I'll return to your yacht when I feel like returning to your yacht! Oh, come on.
Don't start anything now.
We got business to do.
Hey.
Woodward does tend to get a little unpleasant.
He will soon find out that he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
Come on, come on, let's all get back to the yacht.
(Clicking, whirring) This is it.
This is Woodward's cabin.
(Bosun's whistle blowing) We're coming.
MAN: it's still early.
The propeller has been cleared, sir.
- Good.
Then we sail at dawn.
- Yes, sir.
I'll give the captain his course.
SERENA: I'll get some champagne for the stateroom.
COLONNADES: You go back to your own cabin and you stay there.
Soshi, don't be angry.
Well, good night, gentlemen.
- Good night, darlin'.
- Good night.
Thank you for a lovely evening.
Woodward, are you all right? Damn Greek booze.
I do think I might get some sleep.
- Damn Greek dancing.
-(chuckles) I think perhaps we should all sleep.
Gentlemen, I thought maybe the three of us could have a little talk.
In private.
Yeah.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
(Groans) (beep) Sleeping like a babe.
I'll be careful not to wake him.
(yawns) (knocking) Come in.
-(Static crackles) -(opera aria playing softly) Thank you.
(Beeping) (Rapid beeping) (sighs) Colonnades.
Argosy.
(Man humming nearby) (opera aria plays faintly) (Colonnades singing along with aria) (aria continues) (Colonnades humming along with aria) (Colonnades singing along with aria) Shakespeare once said, "In union there's strength.
" At least I think it was Shakespeare.
Well, I don't give a damn if it was Charlie Chaplin.
He was right.
We stick together, okay? ALVARADO: Together, si (beep) CASEY: Soshi used to be so good to me, Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know - That is Serena.
- Shh.
I long for a real man.
A man like you.
Well, we mustn't embarrass the lady.
She's obviously lost her way.
Lost her way? She's losing something, and she's losing it in Woodward's cabin.
I wonder what Selior Colonnades would feel about that.
Well, I think we just keep this to ourselves.
For the lady's sake.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Of course, for the lady.
Tell the captain I want the ship searched from stem to stern.
At least he didn't go down without a fight.
But what has happened to him? Where could he be? My guess is he's gone to join Mr.
Mombuto at the bottom of the sea.
Don't look at me.
You're all my customers here.
Why would I want to kill one of my customers, huh? PATTERSON: Yeah, that makes sense I suppose.
Okay, so who's responsible? Colonnades? We'll discuss this in the main salon in ten minutes.
What's upset him? I think he just sniffed something he didn't want to.
(Chuckles) Serena's perfume.
She must have been showering in it.
Maybe we're not the only ones who heard her in this cabin.
Maybe Mr.
Colonnades did, too.
(Beeping) Okay, Casey, let's hear it.
(Beep) (Serena singing Italian opera aria) I don't know how you can say such terrible things, Soshi.
I know I like to flirt, but All right, Serena, please stop sniveling.
But I never I never go with another man.
You know that.
Yes, I know it, I know it, I know it.
You've been very cruel to me.
Serena, I'm thinking.
Someone wanted it to look as though I got rid of Woodward because of you.
Whoever had that thought has a reason.
You mean one of them killed him? But who, Soshi? I don't know.
But perhaps one of my distributors is becoming ambitious.
(Chuckles) He wants to take over my organization.
I don't like that Australian.
Patterson.
Neither do I.
Bridge, put the ship about.
We're returning to harbor.
(Serena singing Italian opera aria) (groans) Oh, my head.
Better get this into you.
That was my last mistake.
Who the hell are you? I take it you're Woodward, right? I said, "Who are you?!" I heard you.
Yeah, yeah, I'm Woodward.
Well, I'm Patterson-- Mike Patterson.
I'm your opposite number down under.
That's a bunch of bull.
Patterson's on Colonnades' yacht.
Like you were? What are you getting at? Just shut up and get away! (Singing continues) She has been do-re-mi-ing for the last two hours.
What is this place? How the bloody hell would I know? I was out like alight when they brought me here.
Someone slipped me a drink.
And you claim that you're actually Patterson? Listen, mate, I don't care if you bloody believe me or not.
You don't know who that is singing? Well, it's not Ella Fitzgerald, I can tell you that.
That's Colonnades' girlfriend.
Colonnades? So that's it.
The Greek's decided we're expendable.
So he knows that I found out about the rip-off.
Rip-off? What are you talking about? I got a chance to see his ledger on his yacht.
Deals-- the records of his deals with us and the West Africans.
Saw enough to know he's ripping us off.
Mr.
Colonnades is a very greedy man.
Yeah, that figures.
-(Singing stops) - I want to show you something.
I think these were meant for us.
If that Greek thinks he's moving in on my territory, he is a dead man.
-(Indistinct voices) -(goats bleating) (beeping) (static crackles) What do you think is causing the interference? Somebody aboard is using untapped electronic equipment.
Find him.
Whoever it is, I want him found.
(Static crackles) (knocking) A bit more care cleaning the bathroom, gentlemen.
And change the towels, huh? (Groans) You think this will work? Hell, no.
We don't kill him first.
Colonnades gets a kick out of seeing them trying to swim.
We've got to move fast.
As soon as the door goes, we go.
- You ready? - Together.
Okay.
One two three go! He's got a gun.
(Gunshots) (panting) How was the breakout? (Chuckles): Ran like a scalded cat.
Straight to Colonnades.
-(Device beeps) - Nicholas? Jim, the mark is on his way in a hell of a hurry.
All right, we'll be expecting him.
I don't have time for your vapors, Serena.
You don't understand-- someone aboard this ship is a spy.
You never have time for me.
You treat me like a a wife! I'll leave you, Soshi.
I'll go back to Naples, where I'm appreciated.
I'll get an audition.
You'll see.
Someone will see me, and take me to La Scala.
Good.
I'm delighted.
Then go today, go now.
- Soshi - I don't care.
Leave.
Soshi, please.
Will somebody find her bag, please? - SERENA: Soshi? -(gasping) Please! Soshi! Please! Soshi! (Splutters) - Lawrence.
- Woodward? I thought you were dead.
Everybody thought you were dead.
Yeah, well, not everyone.
Look, Lawrence, I think I can trust you.
Bring Salud to the taverna.
It's time we cut a deal.
- Just the three of us.
- All right.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm starting to get edgy about our host.
Give me 15 minutes, I'll round up Salud.
Right.
He trusts me.
Of course.
(Lively Greek folk tune playing) All right, I'm talking eight, maybe ten million dollars U.
S.
in aid supplies.
And that's this year alone.
Sulfonamide, insulin, cortisone, analgesics, streptomycin.
All those expensive goodies.
You left out the big one.
Okay, and morphine.
It's over six million dollars worth, street value.
We'll take it all, Lawrence and me.
And you deal with us alone, right? My friend, money is money.
I don't care where it comes from, and I don't care what color it is.
So long as it's good.
You understand? Then we got a deal.
Lawrence.
I can have my syndicate's share in two days.
Me, too.
Then we have a deal.
Partners.
All right, so when do we say good-bye to the others? There's something you ought to know.
Patterson-- you know, the Australian? He's Colonnades' stooge.
He's an imposter? I saw the real Patterson get killed this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I have no books.
What books?! The books Patterson told me about.
- I don't know anything about - Not you.
The real Patterson.
The one you wanted to send to the bottom of the bay with me.
Are you mad? I still don't know what you're talking about.
Then you won't mind if we have a look at those books, will you? I'll give it three, maybe four minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah, this might be what we're looking for.
Seems like we all get a look in.
Now, Mr.
Colonnades, it was my understanding that we had equal shares.
Alvarado, Patterson, Lawrence -and me.
- That's right.
Equal shares.
And 25% off the top for my services.
Oh, yeah? Well, then can you tell me please why is it that your partner Mr.
Patterson has a hell of a lot more equal share than I do? And your 25% for services looks more like 50.
What are you talking about? I've always gotten the same as everyone else.
Give us the bloody thing.
Show me the book.
That's a pack of lies! Someone is trying to destroy your organization.
Someone is trying to destroy me! -It's in the book, Colonnades! - PATTERSON: We trusted you What are you trying to do, Colonnades? We've always played straight with you! No one will ever destroy Colonnades.
No one! Gentlemen, why don't I go to my cabin? I'll get my books, and we'll check all this out properly.
Do that, Salud.
Show them.
Yes, and I'll go with you, just to make sure you come back.
Suit yourself, friend.
Now, tell me about these figures.
It's time for bringing in the artillery around here.
(Gun hammer cocks) Police are on their way.
Three minutes.
Right on cue.
(Gunfire) (gunshot) -(gunshot) -(groans) (engine starts) (theme music playing)
Come back, please.
They want me to sing.
Go below, Serena.
Please, Soshi.
Please, go.
Sing for my guests.
I'll see you shortly, huh? Huh? Promise? Sir.
(People chattering, laughing) (singing Italian opera aria) (motor stops) (singing continues) (theme music playing) (cable car bell clanging) (people chattering, bottles clanking) See you're keeping a lid on things.
Trying to.
Everybody wants to get their hands on these babies.
Well, it's not easy to find a good dark beer these days.
You can find the label you're looking for in that box over there.
(Beeping) MALE VOICE: Good morning, Jim.
One of our agents was recently killed in Southeast Asia while keeping surveillance on this man.
Socrates Colonnades is a Greek tycoon who uses his luxury yacht to smuggle drugs stolen from international relief organizations, drugs meant as medical supplies for Third World countries.
In so doing, Colonnades deprives desperate people of the medical assistance they need.
Colonnades has built a network of international dealers to distribute these drugs throughout the world as drugs of addiction.
Your mission, Jim, should you decide to accept it, is to neutralize Colonnades and to ensure that his organization no longer preys on the sick and starving of the Third World.
As always, should you or any member of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
This disc will self-destruct in five seconds.
Good luck, Jim.
(Rapid beeping) (hissing) Okay.
We'll need to be familiar with every inch of Colonnades's yacht.
(Trilling) PHELPS: If he follows his usual pattern, once his guests are aboard, he'll put to sea, to avoid any chance of being interrupted or overheard.
Do we know how many guests he's expecting? Four.
Each one of them head of a drug syndicate in his own country.
Plus the man they're all coming to meet.
PHELPS: Yes.
Joseph Salud.
He's a West African, and he's become Colonnades's major supplier of stolen drugs, simply by eliminating his predecessor.
What Colonnades doesn't know is that Salud has been arrested and charged for that murder.
Interpol is gonna keep it quiet as long as they can, and they've also detained another member of the syndicate for questioning, an Englishman named Dennis Smythe.
But if those two don't attend the meeting, Colonnades will call it off.
Oh, the meeting will take place.
And they'll all be there.
Phone, sir.
Hello.
Yes, this is Socrates Colonnades.
Who's speaking? Smythe? You're supposed to be here, Mr.
Smythe.
Where are you calling from? (British accent): I'm calling from England, where the taxation chappies seem to be taking an unseemly interest in my affairs.
So what does this mean? It means that I'll be sending someone to represent me.
Oh, no.
That's absolutely not acceptable.
Of course it is, old boy.
I'd hate to think anyone was going to take advantage of my absence.
Besides, he's already on his way.
Oh, to be sure the right man arrives, I'm faxing you his photograph at this very moment.
His name is Lawrence.
James Lawrence.
Spent most of his life in Canada.
But he's a nice fellow.
You'll like him.
All right, all right, I accept your substitution.
But I'm not happy with it.
Sir.
Well, he's rather dashing.
Your passport, Mr.
Lawrence.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's time I went yachting.
Give me an hour, Grant.
It'll take me that long to get dressed.
(People chattering) (engine starts) Mr.
Salud.
I'm Socrates Colonnades.
Welcome aboard.
(African accent): Thank you, Mr.
Colonnades.
It is my pleasure to be here.
Thank you.
Please, follow me.
Gentlemen, may I introduce Mr.
Joseph Salud from West Africa.
Mr.
Salud, this is Mr.
Alvarado, who will handle your merchandise throughout Europe.
Señor.
Mr.
Patterson from Australia.
G'day.
(Chuckles) Mr.
Woodward, our American partner.
Ah, Mr.
Woodward.
And representing our English connection, Mr.
Lawrence.
I'm happy to meet you, Mr.
Salud.
Thank you, Mr.
Lawrence.
Feeling is mutual.
What's the story, Colonnades? Are we supposed to do business with this clown? So, Mr.
Woodward wants to do business.
Then by all means, let's do business.
(Trilling) (gunshot) How many shots will you fire? Three misses.
One to kill.
SERENA (over radio): Soshi's always so good to me, Mr.
Salud.
But, you know, sometimes he forgets.
He's so busy with his charities.
All right, Serena.
Of course you'll have a drink with us, Mr.
Salud.
A toast to our success.
SERENA: Oh, but you must, Mr.
Salud.
It's bad luck to miss a toast, isn't it, Soshi? GRANT: Alcohol is a drug.
I don't take drugs.
Colonnades, what's going on here? Look, I liked it the way it was before.
You guys didn't know my face and I didn't know yours.
I built a very efficient organization, Mr.
Woodward, which you're all a part.
I thought we should all meet our new supplier of drugs and medical supplies after the unfortunate demise of Mr.
Salud's predecessor.
(laughs) Demise.
That certainly covers it.
It would be hard not to demise with your head in a cement block on the bottom of the ocean.
(laughs) Stand by to get underway.
Soon as they start their motors, they'll have 40 feet of fishing net wound around their propellers.
Yeah, that should keep them in port for a while.
(Max laughs) (propeller creaks) - Trouble below, sir.
- Stop the engines.
COLONNADES: I thought it best that we discuss the continuity of supply from West Africa.
I am sure we are all anxious to maintain the equitable arrangement we enjoyed with Mr.
Salud's late counterpart Mr.
Mombuto.
Excuse me.
I do admire your use of language, Colonnades.
But it seems to me we are talking about enjoying equitable arrangements.
You gentlemen had the enjoy of the late Mr.
Mombuto just became late.
So if you want equitable, then equitable starts with me.
I don't understand.
Oh, I think you do.
I'm talking finance.
Income for services rendered.
Legal tender.
I think Mr.
Salud is talking about more money.
I couldn't have phrased it better.
Are you trying to hold us up? If you don't like my terms, Woodward, you pull out.
There are others who will pay my price.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Lawrence? Well, I-I might, uh, pay a little more, perhaps.
Lawrence, why do I get the feeling that you and Salud have already had this conversation? Maybe Mr.
Lawrence is trying to get the jump on us.
I'm only trying to protect my syndicate's interests and to make sure that Mr.
Colonnades gives us each our fair share.
I look after your interest, Mr.
Lawrence.
And I decide what is your fair share.
You're all in this because of me.
You can be out just like that.
(Chuckles) Gentlemen, I don't see any reason to argue.
There's plenty for everyone.
We've got the war between Ethiopia and Eritrea.
With the droughts in the Sudan, the earthquakes in Armenia, the floods in Mali and Niger, disasters everywhere all in all, it's been a great year.
And it's going to make me very rich.
It might just make you very dead.
(Nail gun thuds) I guess we're ready to receive guests.
Yeah, as ready as we'll ever be.
- What is it? -It's the propellers.
Nets are wrapped on the propellers.
Needs to be cut.
(Men shouting indistinctly) A little trouble with the propellers.
We picked up a fisherman's net.
We cannot sail until morning.
Look, all I want to do is get my business over with and get the hell out of here.
The sooner I get away from these jackasses, the better.
Mr.
Woodward, I'm not prepared to discuss any business matters until we're safely at sea.
Well, isn't that being a little paranoid, Mr.
Colonnades? Who can hear us here? Let me show you something, Mr.
Lawrence.
(Electronic whirring) (man singing over speakers) A poor but happy fisherman.
He's off-key.
He's also nearly a mile away.
When we're at sea, well away from the town, the captain will be able to jam out any such eavesdropping techniques.
Perhaps I am paranoid.
I like to call it "careful.
" And being careful had made me a very wealthy man.
All right, so what do we do while they're clearing the propellers? You'll be my guests at the taverna.
Serena will sing for us.
Won't you, darling? I'd love to, Soshi.
Yeah, well, if it's all the same to you, Colonnades, I think I'll pass.
But it's not all the same to me, Mr.
Woodward.
You'll come with us, whether you wish to or not.
(Serena singing Italian opera aria) (singing high-pitched notes) (sustained high note) (song ends) ALL: Bravo! MAN: Beautiful.
Was I good, Soshi? COLONNADES: You were wonderful.
You were magnificent, Serena.
Thank you.
(Bouzouki music playing) (static crackles) Soshi is always so very good to me, Mr.
Salud, but, you know, sometimes he forgets.
He's very busy with his charities.
Now I want to record the newlines in your own voice.
Okay.
(Imitating Serena): "Soshi used to be so good to me, "Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know, I long for a real man.
A man like you.
" (tape rewinding) Good.
Play that back.
Soshi used to be so good to me, Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know, (voice modulates) I long for a real man.
(Identical Serena voice): A man like you.
That's great.
Now to record it.
Somehow I get the feeling Mr.
Colonnades is not especially fond of you.
Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual.
Whereas his lady friend seems to feel a little differently.
What? See what I mean? Not interested.
Serena.
Why don't you show us some traditional dancing, Colonnades, huh? Of course, but not tonight.
- Oh, yes, please, Soshi? - No Gentlemen, Colonnades is going to dance for us.
Dance! Come on! Not tonight.
Madam, with your permission.
Your perfume smells wonderful.
- Come on.
- Oh, yes.
- Teach me to dance, Colonnades.
- Yes, Soshi.
You will love this.
(People clapping in time with music) Will you join us, Mr.
Woodward and me for a drink? (Chuckles) That lady of yours, she certainly is a popular girl, huh? (plates breaking) -(song ends) -(cheering and applause) Mr.
Woodward, you are my guest, are you not? What's eating you, Colonnades? I must remind myself that a host has an obligation to his guests.
And I remind you that a guest Has an obligation to his host.
I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
It's time to return to the yacht.
Come.
Soshi, so soon? Hey, listen! I'll return to your yacht when I feel like returning to your yacht! Oh, come on.
Don't start anything now.
We got business to do.
Hey.
Woodward does tend to get a little unpleasant.
He will soon find out that he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
Come on, come on, let's all get back to the yacht.
(Clicking, whirring) This is it.
This is Woodward's cabin.
(Bosun's whistle blowing) We're coming.
MAN: it's still early.
The propeller has been cleared, sir.
- Good.
Then we sail at dawn.
- Yes, sir.
I'll give the captain his course.
SERENA: I'll get some champagne for the stateroom.
COLONNADES: You go back to your own cabin and you stay there.
Soshi, don't be angry.
Well, good night, gentlemen.
- Good night, darlin'.
- Good night.
Thank you for a lovely evening.
Woodward, are you all right? Damn Greek booze.
I do think I might get some sleep.
- Damn Greek dancing.
-(chuckles) I think perhaps we should all sleep.
Gentlemen, I thought maybe the three of us could have a little talk.
In private.
Yeah.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
(Groans) (beep) Sleeping like a babe.
I'll be careful not to wake him.
(yawns) (knocking) Come in.
-(Static crackles) -(opera aria playing softly) Thank you.
(Beeping) (Rapid beeping) (sighs) Colonnades.
Argosy.
(Man humming nearby) (opera aria plays faintly) (Colonnades singing along with aria) (aria continues) (Colonnades humming along with aria) (Colonnades singing along with aria) Shakespeare once said, "In union there's strength.
" At least I think it was Shakespeare.
Well, I don't give a damn if it was Charlie Chaplin.
He was right.
We stick together, okay? ALVARADO: Together, si (beep) CASEY: Soshi used to be so good to me, Mr.
Woodward, but sometimes, you know - That is Serena.
- Shh.
I long for a real man.
A man like you.
Well, we mustn't embarrass the lady.
She's obviously lost her way.
Lost her way? She's losing something, and she's losing it in Woodward's cabin.
I wonder what Selior Colonnades would feel about that.
Well, I think we just keep this to ourselves.
For the lady's sake.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Of course, for the lady.
Tell the captain I want the ship searched from stem to stern.
At least he didn't go down without a fight.
But what has happened to him? Where could he be? My guess is he's gone to join Mr.
Mombuto at the bottom of the sea.
Don't look at me.
You're all my customers here.
Why would I want to kill one of my customers, huh? PATTERSON: Yeah, that makes sense I suppose.
Okay, so who's responsible? Colonnades? We'll discuss this in the main salon in ten minutes.
What's upset him? I think he just sniffed something he didn't want to.
(Chuckles) Serena's perfume.
She must have been showering in it.
Maybe we're not the only ones who heard her in this cabin.
Maybe Mr.
Colonnades did, too.
(Beeping) Okay, Casey, let's hear it.
(Beep) (Serena singing Italian opera aria) I don't know how you can say such terrible things, Soshi.
I know I like to flirt, but All right, Serena, please stop sniveling.
But I never I never go with another man.
You know that.
Yes, I know it, I know it, I know it.
You've been very cruel to me.
Serena, I'm thinking.
Someone wanted it to look as though I got rid of Woodward because of you.
Whoever had that thought has a reason.
You mean one of them killed him? But who, Soshi? I don't know.
But perhaps one of my distributors is becoming ambitious.
(Chuckles) He wants to take over my organization.
I don't like that Australian.
Patterson.
Neither do I.
Bridge, put the ship about.
We're returning to harbor.
(Serena singing Italian opera aria) (groans) Oh, my head.
Better get this into you.
That was my last mistake.
Who the hell are you? I take it you're Woodward, right? I said, "Who are you?!" I heard you.
Yeah, yeah, I'm Woodward.
Well, I'm Patterson-- Mike Patterson.
I'm your opposite number down under.
That's a bunch of bull.
Patterson's on Colonnades' yacht.
Like you were? What are you getting at? Just shut up and get away! (Singing continues) She has been do-re-mi-ing for the last two hours.
What is this place? How the bloody hell would I know? I was out like alight when they brought me here.
Someone slipped me a drink.
And you claim that you're actually Patterson? Listen, mate, I don't care if you bloody believe me or not.
You don't know who that is singing? Well, it's not Ella Fitzgerald, I can tell you that.
That's Colonnades' girlfriend.
Colonnades? So that's it.
The Greek's decided we're expendable.
So he knows that I found out about the rip-off.
Rip-off? What are you talking about? I got a chance to see his ledger on his yacht.
Deals-- the records of his deals with us and the West Africans.
Saw enough to know he's ripping us off.
Mr.
Colonnades is a very greedy man.
Yeah, that figures.
-(Singing stops) - I want to show you something.
I think these were meant for us.
If that Greek thinks he's moving in on my territory, he is a dead man.
-(Indistinct voices) -(goats bleating) (beeping) (static crackles) What do you think is causing the interference? Somebody aboard is using untapped electronic equipment.
Find him.
Whoever it is, I want him found.
(Static crackles) (knocking) A bit more care cleaning the bathroom, gentlemen.
And change the towels, huh? (Groans) You think this will work? Hell, no.
We don't kill him first.
Colonnades gets a kick out of seeing them trying to swim.
We've got to move fast.
As soon as the door goes, we go.
- You ready? - Together.
Okay.
One two three go! He's got a gun.
(Gunshots) (panting) How was the breakout? (Chuckles): Ran like a scalded cat.
Straight to Colonnades.
-(Device beeps) - Nicholas? Jim, the mark is on his way in a hell of a hurry.
All right, we'll be expecting him.
I don't have time for your vapors, Serena.
You don't understand-- someone aboard this ship is a spy.
You never have time for me.
You treat me like a a wife! I'll leave you, Soshi.
I'll go back to Naples, where I'm appreciated.
I'll get an audition.
You'll see.
Someone will see me, and take me to La Scala.
Good.
I'm delighted.
Then go today, go now.
- Soshi - I don't care.
Leave.
Soshi, please.
Will somebody find her bag, please? - SERENA: Soshi? -(gasping) Please! Soshi! Please! Soshi! (Splutters) - Lawrence.
- Woodward? I thought you were dead.
Everybody thought you were dead.
Yeah, well, not everyone.
Look, Lawrence, I think I can trust you.
Bring Salud to the taverna.
It's time we cut a deal.
- Just the three of us.
- All right.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm starting to get edgy about our host.
Give me 15 minutes, I'll round up Salud.
Right.
He trusts me.
Of course.
(Lively Greek folk tune playing) All right, I'm talking eight, maybe ten million dollars U.
S.
in aid supplies.
And that's this year alone.
Sulfonamide, insulin, cortisone, analgesics, streptomycin.
All those expensive goodies.
You left out the big one.
Okay, and morphine.
It's over six million dollars worth, street value.
We'll take it all, Lawrence and me.
And you deal with us alone, right? My friend, money is money.
I don't care where it comes from, and I don't care what color it is.
So long as it's good.
You understand? Then we got a deal.
Lawrence.
I can have my syndicate's share in two days.
Me, too.
Then we have a deal.
Partners.
All right, so when do we say good-bye to the others? There's something you ought to know.
Patterson-- you know, the Australian? He's Colonnades' stooge.
He's an imposter? I saw the real Patterson get killed this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I have no books.
What books?! The books Patterson told me about.
- I don't know anything about - Not you.
The real Patterson.
The one you wanted to send to the bottom of the bay with me.
Are you mad? I still don't know what you're talking about.
Then you won't mind if we have a look at those books, will you? I'll give it three, maybe four minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah, this might be what we're looking for.
Seems like we all get a look in.
Now, Mr.
Colonnades, it was my understanding that we had equal shares.
Alvarado, Patterson, Lawrence -and me.
- That's right.
Equal shares.
And 25% off the top for my services.
Oh, yeah? Well, then can you tell me please why is it that your partner Mr.
Patterson has a hell of a lot more equal share than I do? And your 25% for services looks more like 50.
What are you talking about? I've always gotten the same as everyone else.
Give us the bloody thing.
Show me the book.
That's a pack of lies! Someone is trying to destroy your organization.
Someone is trying to destroy me! -It's in the book, Colonnades! - PATTERSON: We trusted you What are you trying to do, Colonnades? We've always played straight with you! No one will ever destroy Colonnades.
No one! Gentlemen, why don't I go to my cabin? I'll get my books, and we'll check all this out properly.
Do that, Salud.
Show them.
Yes, and I'll go with you, just to make sure you come back.
Suit yourself, friend.
Now, tell me about these figures.
It's time for bringing in the artillery around here.
(Gun hammer cocks) Police are on their way.
Three minutes.
Right on cue.
(Gunfire) (gunshot) -(gunshot) -(groans) (engine starts) (theme music playing)