Monk s01e11 Episode Script

You're awake.
Not quite.
Do you have your, um, art class today? Life in the fast lane.
What? I'm just adoring you.
Isn't a husband allowed to stop and adore his wife? How did I get to be so lucky? We both got lucky, Henry.
- I was listening to that.
- I'm just turning it down.
You don't mind.
I have to go to the office for a couple of hours.
Of course.
Oh, and, uh, don't forget we're having dinner with Father Hatcher.
Again? Honey, not there.
Over here.
I thought that could have been the big one.
Why don't you turn on the news, see how bad it was.
I'll check the house.
Look, there's a crack over here.
Do you see it? It runs all the way across here, and it's gonna Christine, what are you No.
! No.
! Well, Henry That was a big one.
MONK Season 1 Epi.
11 Mr.
Monk and the Earthquake Oh, thank God! Thank God! No, no, no.
Stay at Kenny's, Benjy! Stay there! I just got to check out Mr.
Monk.
Adrian! Ad You okay? Oh, my God.
What? Benjy? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's okay.
He was at school when it happened and he loved it.
He thought it was like a roller coaster.
Adrian, I have to tell you I'm very impressed.
I mean, I thought you'd be a basket case.
Everything's broken.
Where were you when it happened? What? Are you okay? Adrian, you're not speaking English.
You know that, right? Yeah, yeah.
Sharona, relax.
He's having a dissociative episode.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait.
Dissociative? Yeah.
The trauma of the earthquake probably shorted out the occipital lobe in the left hemisphere of his brain, which controls the ability to speak and to form words.
Well, what should I do? Look, he thinks he's speaking normally.
He's more confused than you are.
Right.
Okay, well, now l-I can see him, uh, tomorrow at 4:00 if you like, but I gotta tell ya I wouldn't be surprised if he's fine by then.
I mean, these things usually pass on their own.
The most important thing just don't leave him alone.
Okay.
Wait Will you wait? Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
He He wants to speak to you.
You're talking gibberish.
Adrian, I can't understand a word you're saying.
Right.
Good.
Okay, so put Sharona on the phone, okay? Including well-known philanthropist Henry Rutherford, who's best known for his Rutherford Scholarships, which enabled hundreds of inner-city children from across the country Oh, my God.
Okay.
Henry Rutherford.
I told you about him.
I've been working with him the whole month.
He was a deacon at my church.
He was trying to make money for the new church.
Oh, my God.
I know his wife.
She's gonna be devastated.
I gotta go.
They live two blocks away.
She just moved here.
She doesn't know anybody.
I'm gonna see if they need my help, okay? Just stay here.
You know what? On second thought, you better come with me.
Come on.
Doctor Kroger? We'll call you back.
Fine.
And he had a brother in London.
They weren't close, but somebody should call him.
Don't worry, Christine.
I'll take care of it.
Thank you, Father.
I don't know what I'd do without you and Sharona.
It was terrible.
The whole room started to shake, and Henry made sure I was safe in the doorway.
Now you mustn't torture yourself.
The wall unit started to come tipping over, and Henry was trying to keep it from falling.
I saw it come crashing down.
I called for help but there was nobody else in the house.
Okay, here you go.
Oh, l-I couldn't.
No, no, Christine.
You have to have something.
She's right, Christine.
You must stay strong.
You know, I could stay here tonight.
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
But I called my mother in Chicago.
She'll be here later tonight.
Oh, that-that's good.
Mothers are great to talk to.
Well, you know, except for mine.
This is my boss, Adrian Monk.
Adrian, why don't you wait in the other room? Adrian, go in the other room.
Where is he from? Neptune.
You know that everybody from the church is here for you in your time of need.
Oh, she'll be all right.
It's What are you doing? Not right about this room.
Adrian, you can talk! Of course I can talk.
What is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me.
There is no third watch.
I want everybody on active duty to report to their watch commanders, got it? - All right.
- You follow me? Yes.
Christine Rutherford sat around waiting for an earthquake? No, no, no, no.
She sat around waiting for her rich, old husband to die, and when the earthquake hit You see? Captain, when the earthquake hit, she realized it was her chance a one-in-a-million shot and she took it.
Captain, we have reports of some looting in Potrero Hill.
All right, get 10 uniforms down there.
I want a man on every corner.
Go.
Go.
There was ceiling debris all over the floor but none on the back of a fallen display case.
And there were marks on the wall like somebody used a lever to knock that case over.
- Really? - Captain! Captain, Cargill.
- Yeah? - Those calls are false alarms.
I don't care if they're all false alarms.
You've got to check 'em out.
Every one.
Yes, sir.
Look, Monk, there was an earthquake.
That's what earthquakes do.
They knock crap over.
Yes, b-but there were other pictures on the same wall and none of them none of them were even crooked.
I'm trying to put out a hundred fires here, Monk.
I realize that.
/ Where's the guy from Emergency Services? Look out.
Look out.
Look, somebody will be with you soon enough.
Please, everybody just sit down.
Calm down.
She could be there She could be there right now cleaning up all the evidence.
At least send a couple of detectives to look around.
I haven't got a detective.
I haven't got a moment to spare.
Monk, the shaking you felt this morning was a 6.
0 earthquake.
But at least send me over to check it out.
- Where's Sharona? - She went to pick up her kid.
All right.
Uh, Lieutenant? I'm officially handing Monk off to you.
I want you to give him anything he needs.
And quit screwing around and get back to work.
Sorry, the street's closed.
What's going on? The gas line's ruptured, and all the phone lines are down.
These two blocks were the worst ones hit.
God.
Look, we just live over there.
Not today you don't.
Call Emergency Services.
Here's their number.
How long is this gonna be? Oh, maybe a couple of days.
- A couple of days? - Maybe three.
Just call that number, ma'am.
I just work here.
Officer, I'm with the Melbourne Gazette.
Can I get in and get a couple shots? I'm sorry.
No one can get through.
Look, can we just go in and get some stuff? I mean, what if he needs some medicine or something? Ma'am, you have to call that number.
Okay? That's all I know.
Now please, step back.
There's a delightful chap.
He reminds me of my ex-wife.
Yeah, he reminds me of my ex-husband.
Maybe we should get 'em together.
- Mom, what are we gonna do? - I don't know.
I don't know.
I guess we're gonna have to find a hotel.
/ Good luck.
I've been calling all morning.
There's nary a room left in the whole city.
"Nary a room"? That's what I said.
Well, we can always stay at Aunt Gail's.
Why can't we stay at Mr.
Monk's? Because I will go crazy slower at Aunt Gail's.
Do you think your Aunt Gail has a room for an out-of-town journalist? I'm Darryl Wright.
I'm Sharona.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
My sister has no room.
Is this your boyfriend? No.
This is, uh, my son, Benjy.
You thought I was her boyfriend? He's joking.
Listen, my editor just called.
He wants me to do a story on the quake.
What do say to you and Benjy here? A bit of local color.
Oh, yeah.
We'd love to.
- Great.
Start with a picture? - Okay.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Personally, I never did.
And then you got a look at my husband's bank account And zing went the strings of my heart.
There we were, just waiting for the right opportunity, and God dropped it right in our laps.
The bloody miracle.
$42.
5 million.
Say it again.
Forty-two Point five million dollars.
I love it when you talk dirty.
Just one more loose end to tie up, and it's all ours.
Sharona.
Sharona.
She's pretty.
Didn't notice.
Are you sure she trusts you? God.
Why wouldn't she trust me? - Sharona.
- Hey, butter bean! Hi.
/ Gail, I am so sorry.
I didn't know who else to call.
Hey, no problem.
That's what I'm here for.
It's gonna be fun.
I just talked to Mom.
She's freakin' out.
She heard some guy on CNN talk about aftershocks.
- I could not get her off the phone.
- You should get caller I.
D.
I have caller I.
D.
I had it before you.
- No, you didn't.
- I told you about caller I.
D.
What? I had caller I.
D.
When I lived in Valencia.
Remember, you came over and I showed you how it worked? I had caller I.
D.
When I was living with Lenny in Seattle.
- Okay, you never told me that.
- I know.
I was avoiding your calls.
- I had caller I.
D.
- Mom.
Aunt Gail.
Can we go inside, please? Gail, remember when I went out to visit Mom when she broke her wrist? Yeah.
/ And remember you said that you owe me big time? Mm Remember? Oh, no.
/ I swear.
I swear.
He's gonna be good.
Come on! Come on.
You know, he's not as bad as he was.
He's just freaked out about this earthquake.
I can't leave him alone.
I guess he can sleep on the couch.
Well, actually he's gonna need the guest room.
He doesn't sleep on couches.
Gail, I spent two weeks with Mom.
Now we're even.
It's going to be okay, Adrian.
- Hi, Gail.
- Hi.
Listen, don't worry about Sharona.
She won't get in the way.
Even.
- Yes, thank you.
I'll hold.
- You Know, I like those earrings.
You ought to.
You gave them to me.
Oh, I forgot.
So, um, are you still seeing that actor? Hal Myers? Yeah, in my nightmares.
You know, even in my nightmares he can't act.
I liked him.
/ Maybe I'm getting too picky in my old age.
How about you? Are you in love with anybody? Well, actually, I met somebody this morning.
- He's a journalist.
- Really? Yeah, from Australia.
- Complete with accent? - Oh, yeah.
The full package.
He's to die for.
Ooh, bring him by.
I'd love to meet him.
I'm sure you would.
What is he doing? He's counting the bricks in the wall.
Oh, good.
You know, I've always been curious about that.
Adrian, don't tie up Gail's line.
I'm on hold.
I'm waiting for Disher.
Oh, crap! One, two, three Is that new? I got it a couple of weeks ago.
My other was too big.
Check it out! When did you get that? Two months ago.
Like you didn't know! What? Y-You think I'd buy the same handbag on purpose? Now why would I do that? What? You think I wanna I want to be like you? Like I'm obsessed with you? Who moved to San Francisco first? Oh, my God! You begged me to move up here! Hey! Do I have to separate you two? Yeah.
It's Lieutenant, yes, I'm here.
I'm still here.
Yeah, I need her phone records.
Every call from that house and her cell phone for the last two weeks.
Right.
Right.
And what about the background check? Really? Really? Hello? Sharona.
Uh, no.
This is her, uh, younger sister, Gail.
Really? You two sound so much alike.
Do you look alike? No.
I'm the sexy one.
Really? Hey, are you the Australian guy she met on the street? Yeah, that would be me, unless she met somebody else.
What are you eating? Rice cakes.
God, I hate this diet.
Being the sexy sister is a hard yacker.
That's a full-time job.
Listen, is Sharona there? You just missed her.
She and her boss had some business at St.
Claire's Church.
Saint Claire's? Yeah, you know, the one on Fulton Street.
That's quite a performance.
Look, you don't know her.
She and her husband practically saved this church.
They're like saints.
Your saint didn't pay for her candle.
Mrs.
Rutherford Mr.
Monk.
Sharona.
Would you light a candle for my husband? I'd love to.
Which husband? I understand that Henry was your third.
Excuse me.
Mrs.
Rutherford, in 1997, you and your second husband were indicted for mail fraud in Nevada.
Indictment's not a conviction, Mr.
Monk.
A stirring defense.
But Henry didn't know about your other marriages, did he? Of course he did.
I saw the photographs in your house, ma'am.
Watch your step, ma'am.
You were married at the Sacred Cross Chapel in Chicago.
Henry was a deacon there, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't have knowingly married a divorcee.
Okay.
You got me.
I kept a secret from my husband.
Beg your pardon.
Sharona.
What are you doin' here? I called the number you gave me.
Your sister told me where you were, and I was a couple blocks away, so As you do.
Well, it-it-it's great to see you.
Yeah.
And you too.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, Darryl Wright, this is my boss, Adrian Monk.
How do you do? Darryl is a journalist from Australia.
He's doing a story about the earthquake.
Speaking of the earthquake, are you back in your apartment yet? Uh, no.
Not yet.
They said maybe Monday.
/ Monday.
Right.
So, uh, who was the who was the widow? Christine Rutherford.
Now why does that name ring a bell? Her husband was worth about $40 million.
And I think she killed him.
Excuse me.
He's a former detective and, you know, he gets a little paranoid, so Well, it sounds like a much more interesting story than this earthquake I'm doing.
- Yeah.
It is.
- You can tell me all about it over dinner.
- We're having dinner? - Your sister invited me.
Gail? Yeah.
Is there a problem? Oh, no.
No.
It's That's great! It's fine.
Yeah.
Four months in the outback, find it, sleeping on the ground.
That must have been tough.
What would you eat, though? We ate grubs, bugs, snakes.
Danger, danger, danger! Anyway, we finally got back.
I got my messages.
It's my editor.
He's telling me he's changed his mind.
He doesn't want me to go.
You know, Darryl was nominated for a Pulitzer.
Really? It was a story I wrote awhile back for the Sydney Morning Herald.
Ooh, do you have a copy of it? - Not on me.
- What was it about? It was about a bridge collapse.
Five people died.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Five people from all walks of life.
It was a wealthy old woman, an orphan, a maid.
I wrote about each of them, who they were, how they touched different people in their lives.
Oh, I'd love to read it.
You gotta send me a copy.
You can't forget.
- I won't.
- This is fun.
I wish there was an earthquake every week.
Don't say that, sugar beet.
The earthquake killed three people.
No, it didn't.
Not according to Mr.
Monk.
He thinks one of them was a murder.
Yes.
I've been meaning to ask you about that.
How is the investigation going? Well, so far, just a hunch.
Hey, can we play a game after? - Uh, it's a song! - Song.
Uh, stop.
Bus stop! - Stop what you're - Stop Bus stop! - "Stop in the Name of Love"! How did you know that? I want you on my team! I'm gonna sit over here.
Excuse me.
wh-where does this go? - Above the sink with all the others.
- Well, this one All the others are square.
Should I just throw it away? No.
Just put it down.
I'll take care of it later.
Why don't you join us? Yeah.
We're playing charades.
It's fun.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
- It's a game.
- That's right.
It's a game.
Benjy, it's my turn.
You take it.
- Okay.
- Off you go.
A fast game is a good game.
- Movie! It's a movie.
! - Spider-Man.
- He's right.
- Well, he's seen he's seen the movie 20 times, and he was just reading the comic, so I figured He's 11 years old.
Let him have fun.
Okay, I got one! - It's a movie.
- Movie.
- Uh, six - Six words.
The Man Who Came to Dinner.
How did you know that? It's a movie about a houseguest who wouldn't leave.
Six words.
You were looking at me.
Okay, Darryl, why don't you go next? All right.
I got one.
Now, instead of playing charades, we're playing "Let's Stump Monk".
Let's stump Monk.
- A Bible book? - It's a book.
Right? The Bridge at San Luis Rey.
Is he right? Of course he's right.
You know, why don't we watch TV? Uh, you said I'm not allowed to watch TV.
I changed my mind.
Turn it on.
All right.
A necessary adjunct to the recording of all How'd you know the name of the book? The little story he told at dinner about the bridge collapsing.
It was a novel from the '20s called The Bridge at San Luis Rey.
Don't do this.
Every time I like somebody, you ruin it.
I wasn't sure how you took it? Light and sweet.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Hello? / I thought you were going to call me.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
It's my editor.
Did you get into her place yet? I'm working on it.
I am aware of the deadline, and I know it's important.
You said you've have it by tonight.
Listen, mate, the sooner I'm off this phone, the quicker I can get back to work.
Correct.
Bye-bye.
Here you go.
- You are an angel.
- Thank you.
And there's no way he could have been nominated for a Pulitzer.
Maybe he's a good writer.
It's not that.
The Pulitzer is only for American journalism.
He said that story was published in Australia.
So what? Maybe he's trying to impress me.
Maybe he likes me.
God.
And you're scaring him away.
Gail's trying to seduce him, and I'm stuck in the middle as usual.
Tobor, bringing you chills you've never known before.
- Gail, where's the bathroom? - Uh, first door on the left.
All I'm saying is there's something about that guy.
Be careful.
No, no.
You be careful.
I am sick and tired of being careful.
Son of a bitch! Excuse me.
Uh, this building is offlimits.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I'm, uh I'm with the phone company.
I was told we had this block to ourselves.
You have a work order? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Sure I do.
It's, uh You know what? I must have left it in my truck.
I didn't see any truck.
Look, wait right here.
I gotta call this in.
No, my friend.
I can't let you do that.
You got a name? Yep, David Bushner.
Age 44.
He was a gas company tech.
Stabbed, one in the chest.
He went missing late last night.
Phone company crew just found him.
Where is his truck? It's, uh, parked up on Downey where he left it.
We don't know if this is the murder scene or if he was dumped here.
No.
He was killed somewhere else.
Are you sure? Yeah.
The body's on an incline, head down.
Look at the blood stain on his chest.
Blood doesn't flow uphill.
At least not in my experience.
When was the last time he was seen upright? Uh, according to his log, the last gas line he inspected was, uh, doors down from Sharona's.
The water's all rusty.
/ Oh, it gets like that after every earthquake.
But I always keep some mineral water on hand just for emergencies.
Where's all my water? Mr.
Monk? Mr.
Monk, are you in there? Don't come in.
I'm taking a bath.
Are you taking a bath in mineral water? Uh, the tap water was a little rusty.
Well, enjoy it because that bath is costing me $95.
Okay.
Thank you.
He can tell what you're thinking just by how you're sitting in your chair.
I should write about him.
You should.
Nobody would believe it.
You'd have to put it in the science fiction section.
So What about you? What about me? Oh, hi.
Can I, um Can I help you? Good afternoon.
I'm Lieutenant Disher, San Francisco Police.
I need to speak to Adrian Monk.
Oh, uh, he's in the bathroom right now washing up.
That would be Monk.
I need to make sure that he gets these.
It's very important.
Uh, sure.
Are you, um Are you really a cop? Yes, I am.
Look at the nice picture.
Why did you get rid of the mustache? My captain has a mustache.
I shaved mine off so that people could tell us apart.
Sharona never told me she had a sister.
Younger.
How long have you known her for? Four years now.
Really? And she never mentioned me at all? Well, she's obviously a little jealous.
Exactly.
Say, copper, you like Italian food? Yeah.
Hot.
You know, I dated a cop once.
I still have his handcuffs on my bedpost.
Then I should inform you you are still in possession of stolen property.
I might have to bring you down to the station.
Really? I might not mind that.
Here.
Try this.
Oh Too spicy? - No.
It's perfect.
- Oh, perfect.
Uh, so, uh, what's it like having Adrian Monk as a houseguest? Well, a few years ago, a squirrel got into the house and I could hear it running through the attic and the walls.
It took me two months to get rid of it.
It drove me crazy.
- And? - It's like that.
So are you, um You gonna wait for him? Monk No, I can't.
If he's washing up, he could still be another two or three hours.
I should, uh Could you make sure he gets this? Oh, of course.
- Thanks for the-the sauce.
- The sauce, yes.
Well, what do you do when you're not working? I don't know.
- Thank you.
- There you go.
Thank you.
I'll just have one more.
It never comes up.
I'm on call 24-7.
That's terrible.
I mean, you don't ever feel the need to cut loose, do something crazy? Like what? Like dance with me.
Here.
In the afternoon.
- I'm a good dancer.
- I'll bet you are.
Come on.
Why not? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I have an idea.
What? Your apartment's two blocks from here? We can't get in yet.
It's blocked off.
You know what they say? Good things come to those who wait.
Well, I can't wait.
We can just sneak in.
- It's too dangerous.
- That's what makes it so exciting.
Come on.
Are you sure? I am sure.
What? I just remembered.
I promised Gail I'd be home by 2:30.
We got plenty of time.
Do you have any Q-tips? Well, Lieutenant Disher dropped by.
- He did? - Yeah.
You know, he's kinda cute.
I've got this thing for cops.
Yes, I know.
That's why you and I get along so swimmingly.
Do you have any white ones? What's the difference? These are blue.
I'll wait for Sharona.
"Anywhozle," he dropped this off.
Some phone records you wanted.
And get this.
They found a body near Hobart Park.
A gas company repairman.
Lieutenant Disher said they think he was killed near Sharona's house.
What? / He said that it was probably no big deal, but the captain wanted you to know.
This is strange.
Darryl, the phone lines are working.
Really? / Yeah.
I can finally check my messages.
There was a call from the Rutherford house to Sharona's at 8:41 yesterday morning.
That's just before the earthquake hit.
They were probably talking about the fund-raiser.
Then there was another call to Sharona's again at 8:45 right right after the quake that She called Sharona's before she called 911.
Maybe she panicked.
Maybe she hit redial.
Damn! Where are my keys? They were in my bag.
Your bag? It looks just like Sharona's bag.
So? He said, "Who's the widow?" - Who did? - Darryl.
When he saw Christine Rutherford at the church he said, "Who's the widow?" How did he know she was a widow? She could have been mourning her father or a child.
- Maybe he recognized her from TV.
- No.
No, no.
He said, "Who's the widow?" He knows her.
Oh, my God.
Sharona.
- Oh, my God.
- What is it? It's Henry Rutherford.
Listen.
Sharona, this is Henry Rutherford.
I just spoke to the caterer and Oh, my God.
It's an earthquake.
! Christine, what are you No, no! I gotta call Adrian.
I think we're going to be going by your apartment after all.
Move.
We're coming up to her place now.
I've been trying to get that idiotic tape out of your machine for two days.
Don't park here.
Go around the block.
Captain Stottlemeyer, please.
It's Adrian Monk.
Tell him it's very important Are you okay? How about that? Mother was right, an aftershock.
Can you believe it? Lieutenant, either fix that pipe or buy everybody an umbrella.
Yes, sir.
Can you take line two, sir? It's Monk.
It better be good.
What? Wait.
No, wait, Monk.
Slow down.
Try it again.
Hi, this is Sharona and Benjy.
- Why don't you write it down? - That's a great idea.
Write it down.
Well, he's writing it down.
It says, uh, Look, tell Monk that I'm gonna send a squad car, okay? Well, no.
He's He's already gone.
He's gone? What do you mean, "He's gone"? Captain, I think Sharona's in trouble.
Lieutenant? Get the car! I was trying to avoid all this.
I was trying to get to the answering machine before you heard that message.
Darryl! Honey, what are you doing here? I told you I'd take care of it.
You heartless bitch.
Open the bloody door.
Hold on.
Hold on.
W-Wait.
What the hell is that? Korean? Chinese? Turn here? You want me to turn here? Is that what you're saying? Do you want me to turn here? Is that what you're saying? They come over here and they take our welfare, And they take our food stamps, but they don't bother to learn our damn language.
Inside.
Oh, my God.
Where's the tape? Where's the tape? - It's digital! - Take the whole thing.
Now.
What are we gonna do with you? We've got no choice.
Come on, Darryl.
Do it! I've come too far to stop now.
- Here? - Yeah, here.
Why not? 'Cause blood is gonna go everywhere.
Who is gonna see blood in this mess? / Monk will.
Monk notices everything.
He's a damn freak! Well, just take her to the bathroom Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Keep the change! So you can talk.
Bilingual sons of bitches.
Where are you going? Oh, God! Son of a bitch! I'm surprised you can talk with a broken jaw.
- I don't have a broken jaw.
- Not yet! Adrian! Adrian, are you okay? Oh, God.
It's all over.
- I'm gonna need a broom.
- Okay.
Oh, my God! It looks great! It's back to normal.
I had a cleaning crew take care of it.
The insurance company paid for most of it.
I almost forgot.
Here's the note you wrote.
Now do you believe me? Did I really write this? Unbelievable.
Uh, Adrian, listen.
Now that you're home, there's something we have to talk about.
I haven't been paid since the earthquake.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
It's been three weeks.
Here's your checkbook.
That's not funny.
Okay, will ya stop it? You owe me money.
I know you're faking it.
- I'm not faking it! - You just spoke English!