My Place (2009) s01e11 Episode Script
1908 Evelyn
(INTRIGUING PIANO AND CELLO MUSIC) I'm a witch.
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) (MONKEYS SHRIEK) Oh, ooh, ow! Stop wriggling! You're a dead sheep! I don't wanna be a dead sheep, Ev, I said.
No fair! Sheep don't talk! I can't understand you.
Shhh! Lie down! My name is Lady Evelyn Tuffs-Sexton, big game hunter.
And this (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) is India.
Actually, I'm not really Lady Tuffs-Sexton.
I'm just Evelyn, and this is my place.
(ANIMAL GROWLS) And that is a fearsome Bengal tiger! (GROWLS) (GASPS) Never again will you menace the children of the orphanage! Pow! (SCREECHES) Pow! Stop! Stop that! Tigers can't climb trees.
(GROWLS) Yes, we can! No, you can't! Miss Muller! Yes, Evelyn? Can you tell your nephew that tigers can't climb trees? I'm afraid they can.
(GROWLS) But not very well.
Their difficulty is not so much getting up as getting down.
Despite millions of years of evolution, they can't reverse.
No, the biggest difficulty this tiger has is it's dead.
Pow! (TIGER GROANS) Yes! (CHUCKLES) (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! Pow! (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! Now, I know how disappointed you were last year.
Times were hard, and sacrifices had to be made.
So, I hope this suits you all to pieces.
MOTHER: Oh, Vern, it's lovely.
Mr Wong's Number Five Assortment.
The best money can buy.
Crackers! Father! Your sister's right, Edward.
Can't have these things getting wrecked.
You'll just have to wait till cracker night.
Where will we keep them? You decide.
I entrust this box into your safekeeping.
Father! Well, I can't very well trust you with them, can I? I'm relying on you, Evelyn, to take this responsibility seriously.
I'll crack your neck if you touch this box.
I'll crack YOUR neck! Who's that supposed to be? You.
I'm going to roast you up.
You don't scare me, Tommy Muller.
Hey, Ed, my dad said it was alright if you wanted to join us at the bonfire this year.
You can let off one of my crackers.
Oh, yeah! He's not interested.
We have our own crackers.
Yeah, but if you want to let off a real cracker, you let me know.
Do you have cloth in your ears? I said we have fireworks.
Everyone knows your dad couldn't afford a box last year.
Don't let your pride get in the way of little Eddie having a good time.
Come on.
We'll show you them.
We've got a big box this year, we have.
Oh.
What number? Betcha it's not Mr Wong's Number Three Assortment.
It's Mr Wong's Number Five.
I don't believe you.
If Father finds out, you'll be in so much trouble.
If Father finds out, I'll say you did it! It's not that much bigger.
Don't touch it! It's just I've never seen inside a box Number Five before.
It's the best box they make.
We'll open it at the bonfire.
(SIGHS) Yeah, but you're not the teensiest bit curious? And you promise you won't touch them? Promise.
Promise.
Both of you? Alright.
I'll do it.
(EDDIE GASPS) Let's light one! Yeah! There's no many in there.
40 or 50, easily.
Father won't notice one.
It wouldn't really matter.
One.
Might as well.
Come on, Ev.
(SIGHS) Alright, one.
But I get to choose.
Agreed? BO YS: Agreed.
It's beautiful.
The box! Ev! Get up! Come on! No! Let go! (DISTANT EXPLOSIONS) Get off me! You're a goner.
Ohh! Stop it! This is all your fault! No, it isn't! It was my fault too.
I'll come with you.
It was her idea.
She should cop the punishment on her own.
I'll smack your face! Dad's going to be so mad, he's going to explode! Boom! Only if he finds out.
Come on! What have you been getting up to? I've told you not to play at the canal.
We werert.
Don't talk back, Freddie Muller.
You know it's not safe here.
Sorry, Aunt Min.
We were only mucking about.
What are we going to do now? Follow me.
EDWARD: Follow you where? Ev, where? What have you got? Nothing.
Search him.
Alright! Alright.
Looking for firework? Yes, please.
Ha! We have many variety.
We have small one, big one.
We have one that fly and one that spin.
Oh, we know what we want.
Good, good.
Number Five Assortment.
Number Five Assortment.
Hmm.
Perfect.
(CLEARS THROAT) He wants the money.
Thank you, Edward.
Maybe next year, eh? How much more do we need? More.
Much, much more.
Save it up.
Come back next year.
Hmm.
What? Whoa, whoa.
What are you up to, little brother? Nothing.
Yeah, I'll bet.
So, you know how to make fireworks? What about the gunpowder? What do you need gunpowder for? If you have any lying around spare No, sorry, miss.
All sold out.
It's for my sister.
What's gunpowder? Are you kidding? Dad'd clip me deaf if I bought you gunpowder.
Aunt Min? Later, Frederick.
It won't take long.
We're desperate.
What have you done? We haven't done anything.
We've been cut off from our platoon.
Again? And surrounded by hostile natives? Outnumbered.
1 0 to 1.
Concentrate your guns, like MacDonald at Omdurman, smash a hole through your enemy's lines and rejoin the main army.
But we have no gunpowder.
Then I advise surrender.
Throw yourself on the mercy of your enemy.
We can't do that.
Our enemy is particularly cruel.
We'll suffer terribly.
Is there nothing we could use? Something that would substitute for gunpowder? Something that would make a big bang.
Well, this is for a game, is it? Definitely, Aunt Min.
It's for a game.
Right.
You wait there.
Mix a bit of this with a bit of that.
That should do the trick.
Thank you, Miss Muller.
Thanks, Aunt Min.
(CHUCKLES) (JAUNTY MUSIC) (SNIFFS) Eugh.
We should have tested one.
They look so real.
I know what you mean.
Doesrt matter.
We could do a fountain.
Something small.
(JAUNTY MUSIC CONTINUES) Try another one.
Freddie.
Matches.
Stand back.
This is a bunger.
I don't understand.
We must have done something wrong.
You're gonna get in so much trouble.
(GROANS) (BOTH GRUNT AND GROAN) Ev! Ev! Get off him! It's all gone wrong.
I don't know why, but it's all gone wrong.
We we mixed the ingredients like you told us, but no spark came out, no fizz.
Nothing! Shhh! Now, slow down.
Now, what happened? Well, we did everything you said, but nothing happened.
It didn't work.
So you WERE trying to make fireworks.
Well, we couldn't surrender.
What did you give us? Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing, dear.
Yes, you are! What's so funny? We're in a lot of trouble.
(LAUGHS) I'm sorry, dear.
Stop laughing! I can't believe you thought it was going to work! But you gave us the ingredients! Yes, but I never thought It was so obvious.
(LAUGHS) You knew that it wouldn't work? That's a mean trick to play on someone.
Why would you do that? I'm going to get the strap for this.
You should get it too! (DOOR SLAMS) Where have you been, Evelyn? Your father will be home at 5:00 today - you'll have to have your chores done before then.
Yes, Mama.
Or there'll be no fireworks tonight.
And tidy yourself up.
It doesn't look like much.
Just a strip of leather.
But in the hands of an expert, like Father, deadly.
I'm not listening to you.
(CLOCK TICKS) (CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY) He'll try to get you on the backside, but sometimes he misses and whacks your leg, which hurts more.
You can't sit down for a week.
Father won't hit me.
I'm his favourite.
Not anymore.
Oh, Lord, please help me! What are you doing? Praying.
Praying for what? I don't know, a miracle! Oh, Lord, I know it is a sin to pray to get out of trouble, and I know it is a sin to lie Better get to the good part - blowing up the box.
(FAINT KNOCKING) That's Father.
He's early.
Oh, no! Coming, dear Papa.
MISS MULLER: Evelyn? Is your father here? No, miss.
Perfect.
I I did lie to you, and that was mean and unthoughtful of me.
I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry for laughing at you too.
Oh.
Here.
(CLOCK CHIMES) Quick! Upstairs.
EDDIE: Papa! FATHER: Hello, Eddie.
Good day, Mr Forsyth.
Oh, good day, Miss Muller.
Evelyn, you ready to go? Coming! Careful.
(FIREWORKS WHISTLE AND CRACKLE) (BOTH LAUGH) (CHUCKLES) MAN: One, two Oh! Hello, Mr Merry.
Hello, Rose.
Vernon.
I'll take the blame with you.
Freddie, don't worry.
I'll be blowed.
Come and have a look at this, you two! Have you ever seen anything like it before? No.
(CHUCKLES) No.
EDDIE: Let me light one! Can I light one? Evelyn? You need a reward.
For keeping this bloke's mitts off the box.
You go first.
Alright.
Which one do you think? The Catherine wheel.
Miss Muller, will you do the honours? (ALL EXCLAIM) (ALL GASP AND EXCLAIM) Ohhh.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) (MONKEYS SHRIEK) Oh, ooh, ow! Stop wriggling! You're a dead sheep! I don't wanna be a dead sheep, Ev, I said.
No fair! Sheep don't talk! I can't understand you.
Shhh! Lie down! My name is Lady Evelyn Tuffs-Sexton, big game hunter.
And this (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) is India.
Actually, I'm not really Lady Tuffs-Sexton.
I'm just Evelyn, and this is my place.
(ANIMAL GROWLS) And that is a fearsome Bengal tiger! (GROWLS) (GASPS) Never again will you menace the children of the orphanage! Pow! (SCREECHES) Pow! Stop! Stop that! Tigers can't climb trees.
(GROWLS) Yes, we can! No, you can't! Miss Muller! Yes, Evelyn? Can you tell your nephew that tigers can't climb trees? I'm afraid they can.
(GROWLS) But not very well.
Their difficulty is not so much getting up as getting down.
Despite millions of years of evolution, they can't reverse.
No, the biggest difficulty this tiger has is it's dead.
Pow! (TIGER GROANS) Yes! (CHUCKLES) (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! Pow! (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! (GROWLS) Pow! Pow! Now, I know how disappointed you were last year.
Times were hard, and sacrifices had to be made.
So, I hope this suits you all to pieces.
MOTHER: Oh, Vern, it's lovely.
Mr Wong's Number Five Assortment.
The best money can buy.
Crackers! Father! Your sister's right, Edward.
Can't have these things getting wrecked.
You'll just have to wait till cracker night.
Where will we keep them? You decide.
I entrust this box into your safekeeping.
Father! Well, I can't very well trust you with them, can I? I'm relying on you, Evelyn, to take this responsibility seriously.
I'll crack your neck if you touch this box.
I'll crack YOUR neck! Who's that supposed to be? You.
I'm going to roast you up.
You don't scare me, Tommy Muller.
Hey, Ed, my dad said it was alright if you wanted to join us at the bonfire this year.
You can let off one of my crackers.
Oh, yeah! He's not interested.
We have our own crackers.
Yeah, but if you want to let off a real cracker, you let me know.
Do you have cloth in your ears? I said we have fireworks.
Everyone knows your dad couldn't afford a box last year.
Don't let your pride get in the way of little Eddie having a good time.
Come on.
We'll show you them.
We've got a big box this year, we have.
Oh.
What number? Betcha it's not Mr Wong's Number Three Assortment.
It's Mr Wong's Number Five.
I don't believe you.
If Father finds out, you'll be in so much trouble.
If Father finds out, I'll say you did it! It's not that much bigger.
Don't touch it! It's just I've never seen inside a box Number Five before.
It's the best box they make.
We'll open it at the bonfire.
(SIGHS) Yeah, but you're not the teensiest bit curious? And you promise you won't touch them? Promise.
Promise.
Both of you? Alright.
I'll do it.
(EDDIE GASPS) Let's light one! Yeah! There's no many in there.
40 or 50, easily.
Father won't notice one.
It wouldn't really matter.
One.
Might as well.
Come on, Ev.
(SIGHS) Alright, one.
But I get to choose.
Agreed? BO YS: Agreed.
It's beautiful.
The box! Ev! Get up! Come on! No! Let go! (DISTANT EXPLOSIONS) Get off me! You're a goner.
Ohh! Stop it! This is all your fault! No, it isn't! It was my fault too.
I'll come with you.
It was her idea.
She should cop the punishment on her own.
I'll smack your face! Dad's going to be so mad, he's going to explode! Boom! Only if he finds out.
Come on! What have you been getting up to? I've told you not to play at the canal.
We werert.
Don't talk back, Freddie Muller.
You know it's not safe here.
Sorry, Aunt Min.
We were only mucking about.
What are we going to do now? Follow me.
EDWARD: Follow you where? Ev, where? What have you got? Nothing.
Search him.
Alright! Alright.
Looking for firework? Yes, please.
Ha! We have many variety.
We have small one, big one.
We have one that fly and one that spin.
Oh, we know what we want.
Good, good.
Number Five Assortment.
Number Five Assortment.
Hmm.
Perfect.
(CLEARS THROAT) He wants the money.
Thank you, Edward.
Maybe next year, eh? How much more do we need? More.
Much, much more.
Save it up.
Come back next year.
Hmm.
What? Whoa, whoa.
What are you up to, little brother? Nothing.
Yeah, I'll bet.
So, you know how to make fireworks? What about the gunpowder? What do you need gunpowder for? If you have any lying around spare No, sorry, miss.
All sold out.
It's for my sister.
What's gunpowder? Are you kidding? Dad'd clip me deaf if I bought you gunpowder.
Aunt Min? Later, Frederick.
It won't take long.
We're desperate.
What have you done? We haven't done anything.
We've been cut off from our platoon.
Again? And surrounded by hostile natives? Outnumbered.
1 0 to 1.
Concentrate your guns, like MacDonald at Omdurman, smash a hole through your enemy's lines and rejoin the main army.
But we have no gunpowder.
Then I advise surrender.
Throw yourself on the mercy of your enemy.
We can't do that.
Our enemy is particularly cruel.
We'll suffer terribly.
Is there nothing we could use? Something that would substitute for gunpowder? Something that would make a big bang.
Well, this is for a game, is it? Definitely, Aunt Min.
It's for a game.
Right.
You wait there.
Mix a bit of this with a bit of that.
That should do the trick.
Thank you, Miss Muller.
Thanks, Aunt Min.
(CHUCKLES) (JAUNTY MUSIC) (SNIFFS) Eugh.
We should have tested one.
They look so real.
I know what you mean.
Doesrt matter.
We could do a fountain.
Something small.
(JAUNTY MUSIC CONTINUES) Try another one.
Freddie.
Matches.
Stand back.
This is a bunger.
I don't understand.
We must have done something wrong.
You're gonna get in so much trouble.
(GROANS) (BOTH GRUNT AND GROAN) Ev! Ev! Get off him! It's all gone wrong.
I don't know why, but it's all gone wrong.
We we mixed the ingredients like you told us, but no spark came out, no fizz.
Nothing! Shhh! Now, slow down.
Now, what happened? Well, we did everything you said, but nothing happened.
It didn't work.
So you WERE trying to make fireworks.
Well, we couldn't surrender.
What did you give us? Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing, dear.
Yes, you are! What's so funny? We're in a lot of trouble.
(LAUGHS) I'm sorry, dear.
Stop laughing! I can't believe you thought it was going to work! But you gave us the ingredients! Yes, but I never thought It was so obvious.
(LAUGHS) You knew that it wouldn't work? That's a mean trick to play on someone.
Why would you do that? I'm going to get the strap for this.
You should get it too! (DOOR SLAMS) Where have you been, Evelyn? Your father will be home at 5:00 today - you'll have to have your chores done before then.
Yes, Mama.
Or there'll be no fireworks tonight.
And tidy yourself up.
It doesn't look like much.
Just a strip of leather.
But in the hands of an expert, like Father, deadly.
I'm not listening to you.
(CLOCK TICKS) (CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY) He'll try to get you on the backside, but sometimes he misses and whacks your leg, which hurts more.
You can't sit down for a week.
Father won't hit me.
I'm his favourite.
Not anymore.
Oh, Lord, please help me! What are you doing? Praying.
Praying for what? I don't know, a miracle! Oh, Lord, I know it is a sin to pray to get out of trouble, and I know it is a sin to lie Better get to the good part - blowing up the box.
(FAINT KNOCKING) That's Father.
He's early.
Oh, no! Coming, dear Papa.
MISS MULLER: Evelyn? Is your father here? No, miss.
Perfect.
I I did lie to you, and that was mean and unthoughtful of me.
I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry for laughing at you too.
Oh.
Here.
(CLOCK CHIMES) Quick! Upstairs.
EDDIE: Papa! FATHER: Hello, Eddie.
Good day, Mr Forsyth.
Oh, good day, Miss Muller.
Evelyn, you ready to go? Coming! Careful.
(FIREWORKS WHISTLE AND CRACKLE) (BOTH LAUGH) (CHUCKLES) MAN: One, two Oh! Hello, Mr Merry.
Hello, Rose.
Vernon.
I'll take the blame with you.
Freddie, don't worry.
I'll be blowed.
Come and have a look at this, you two! Have you ever seen anything like it before? No.
(CHUCKLES) No.
EDDIE: Let me light one! Can I light one? Evelyn? You need a reward.
For keeping this bloke's mitts off the box.
You go first.
Alright.
Which one do you think? The Catherine wheel.
Miss Muller, will you do the honours? (ALL EXCLAIM) (ALL GASP AND EXCLAIM) Ohhh.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!