Nip/Tuck s01e11 Episode Script

Previously on Nip / Tuck: - I'm turning us in.
- No, you are not, Henry.
I did this to you, Cara.
- Did you have an affair with her? - Yes.
I can't lose you, too, Julia.
We lost each other a long time ago, Sean.
What is my last name, asshole? You never even asked me.
Not even after you screwed me.
Trash my goddamn car one more time, and I will trash you! Ms.
Caine, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
My tankles.
Your ankles.
If they were just ankles, I wouldn't be here.
Tankles.
I must have missed anatomy class the day they covered that.
Tank ankles.
Or cankles, as in combination ankles and calves.
Also known as piano legs.
You'd like them shapelier? I'd like them to look as if they weren't capable of supporting a suspension bridge.
And could you get rid of this traffic pattern while you're in the area? I think we could do that.
Vein stripping is normally considered a same-day procedure but in conjunction with your tankles ankles your recovery might be slightly lengthened.
That would be fine.
Excuse me but there is a woman camped out who refuses to leave untiI she gets to talk to that "arrogant, oversexed, antichrist.
" Ms.
Caine, would you excuse me for a moment? You've been in therapy for over 10 years, Ms.
Caine? It's been tremendously helpful in dealing with a variety of identity issues.
Really? I couldn't exist without therapy.
Life is too stressfuI to go it alone, you know? Hey, asshole.
Would you mind sitting over here, sweetheart? I don't want to have to bomb my Jacobson chair for crabs.
Good one.
I've been expecting you.
Really? You're here to tell me you're pressing charges for that little rough-up in the parking garage a few weeks ago.
I've been waiting for this moment to arrive.
You're far too vindictive to drop that ball.
So I got the tape.
That's intriguing.
What tape? The parking garage surveillance tape.
Our brawI was caught on two cameras.
Both of which show you as the provocateur.
You pushed and you pushed and I finally pushed back out of self-defense.
You don't have a case.
If I wanted to press charges, Christian, it would be for attempted murder.
But lucky for you, myself and our baby survived your push to the pavement.
That's right, asshole.
I'm pregnant.
First time at the plate, and I get credited with the RBl? - You're the only batter.
- I was wearing a rubber.
Well, slugger, either it broke, or I'm carrying the next Savior.
So you're here to propose? Just because I'm carrying Satan's baby doesn't mean I need to marry the father.
I'm not here for a ring.
I'm here to tell you that you need to pay for what you've done.
I'm paying.
I don't owe you anything.
You are a cold-blooded predator, Christian.
I was eight months celibate.
You seduced me and you threw me away.
Well, surprise.
I am not disposable! There is a price to pay for what you did, and you're gonna pay it.
I've already had two abortions.
The last one went badly, and I didn't think that I could conceive.
Maybe this is my last chance.
Maybe I'm meant to have this baby.
Christ! I can't do it alone.
If I'm gonna have this child, I'm gonna need your help.
I'm gonna need your support and you're gonna have to be actively involved in its upbringing.
Otherwise, I'm gonna have to get rid of it.
I've never had to deaI with this.
I've always made a point of being so careful.
I understand.
It's a very difficult decision.
Either you want your kid to join the brotherhood of man or you want it to be a part of stem cell research.
Take your time.
We've got one week to decide if you're ready for parentaI responsibility.
- Why did you wait so long? - Because I just figured it out! Because of my bulimia, I have a sporadic menstruaI cycle.
I'm also frequently nauseous, and I spend a great deaI of time in denial.
One week, Christian.
You still got my number, right? To be most effective, condoms should be used with a spermicide.
Sean, I may not be much with a mentoplasty but I assure you, I'm a goddamn expert about putting a rubber on my dick.
Used correctly, the typicaI failure rate of latex condoms is about 3°%.
When used incorrectly, the failure rate rises to 12°%.
- Read the box.
- You stop to read the box? No wonder Julia's still pissed.
I'm sorry.
That was out of line.
Cut me some slack here.
I'm pregnant.
You really miss her, don't you? Megan.
I can't even grieve in private, because Julia knows who I'm grieving for.
I have to go into the bathroom to You should have seen me at Annie's party this weekend.
I scared the kids.
They had never seen a clown so sad.
One of them came up to me and offered me a cookie.
- You threw Annie a birthday party? - It was small.
We didn't think an 8-year-old's birthday would mean so much to you.
She's not an 8-year-old, she's my goddaughter.
Julia asked me not to tell you.
She didn't want you there.
I don't know why.
Do you? All right, sailors.
Tankles away.
Hit it.
Present for the birthday girl.
I hope you kept the receipt.
It only shits in the cage, which you take out once a week.
And if it gets too much you don't have to flush.
You just bake at 300, and serve over rice.
Hey, there's my birthday girl.
What do you think? Are you ready for a little more responsibility? He knows me.
He keeps pecking at my finger.
Thank you so much, Uncle Christian.
Pleasure.
I'm sorry you had to work and miss my party.
Me, too.
So what's his name? I know.
Pecker.
Pecker.
Honey, why don't you go to your room and introduce Pecker to Frisky? Okay.
So, just out of curiosity, was it an emergency I was busy with or just your average breast job? I need a little distance, Christian.
Look, I know how hard this thing with Sean has been - but that's no reason- - How long have you known about him and Megan? Look, I couldn't betray my best friend.
You've betrayed him with me, haven't you? It wasn't my place to tell you about his affair.
Don't cut me out, Julia, please.
It's just not working anymore, Christian: you being in our lives.
I can't handle it.
Because you're afraid you'll cheat? If you're afraid I'll cross that line again, I won't.
Believe me, I care more about this family than whatever is between us.
Maybe if you didn't have us to fall back on you'd finally go out and get a family of your own.
It's me.
Cara Fitzgerald.
You look wonderful.
Thanks for your prayers.
Mom told me you were at the hospitaI a lot.
I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
And that you're part of the prayer group? Don't be offended that I didn't remember.
My short-term memory's a mess.
I don't even know who my friends are.
Who does? There's a prayer meeting after schooI next week.
You'll be there, right? - Good night.
- Good night.
Do you want to stay in this marriage, Julia? I don't know.
What is it you don't know? If I'm staying in it for the kids.
If I'm staying in it out of fear.
You think you can ever love me again? I don't know.
I don't even know if I should feeI partly responsible for what happened.
Sometimes I think we got married for the wrong reasons.
You think we'd have gotten married at all if I hadn't been pregnant with Matt? I don't know.
But I'm glad we did.
Sean, I can't.
Okay.
No, it's just I want you to get tested.
She was in and out of the hospital.
She had blood transfusions.
You want me to take that risk? I'll go in for a complete physical.
Maybe Schiff can see me tomorrow.
Ms.
Caine? How are you feeling? My legs hurt.
That's to be expected, but it all went very well.
Nurse Linda's here with some water.
- I want Juicy Juice.
- Water would be better.
I want Juicy Juice! Montana Caine's having an adverse reaction to the anesthesia.
No, they're too big! You were supposed to make my boobies smaller.
Ms.
Caine.
My name is Sassy.
Sassy, do you know who the president of the United States is? - Al Gore.
- She's fine.
I want smaller boobies! You promised me smaller boobies! I told you we'd have to wait.
We can't do everything at once.
Why are you always first? Because I'm the grownup.
I don't want the boys to grab them anymore.
They'll make them smaller for you.
We just have to be patient.
The doctor will help us.
Before Montana was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder she was unable to hold down a job unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time and she tried to commit suicide twice.
How many alter personalities does she have? Now it's just she and Sassy.
But 10 years ago, when we first started treatment there were anywhere between 20 and 25.
I'd say we're doing quite well.
And so you think that performing a breast reduction surgery because one of the alters demands it, is the key to greater integration? Integration is not my goal, Dr.
Santiago.
InternaI harmony is.
What about SSRls and tricyclics? MPD patients seldom derive more than limited relief from psychopharmacotherapy.
Then there are also the different responses of the alters to contend with as well.
So Montana might require one kind of antidepressant while Sassy would need another? Exactly.
It can get a bit confusing.
So what would be the risk, in your opinion of choosing not to go ahead with this additionaI procedure? Sassy is the gatekeeper for all of the other personalities.
And she's the only one besides Montana who's asking for a physicaI change.
If she remains happy, which she has for the last severaI years the other personalities stay dormant.
If she's ignored she may feeI the need of their support in order to get our attention.
- So all those other personalities- - Could return.
That's right.
For how long, I can't say.
But if you knew Montana 10 years ago you wouldn't want to take that chance.
Henry.
What are you doing? He's praying with me.
That's why we call this the Prayer Club.
Remember, Matt? Do you think more people will come? Maybe we should just start.
Before the accident did I serve refreshments before or after the reading of the minutes? Before.
What the hell are you doing here? I wanted to make sure she didn't recognize me.
Is that the only reason? I'm looking for solace, Matt.
My faith says we've got to pay for what we did.
But, my God, didn't we get away with it? Maybe I need a new faith, a new identity: one that reflects the reaI world we live in.
Where not everybody pays, and where sometimes you walk away, and the bad thing turns into something Something good.
Today's prayer group thought is the following: Grace shines on everyone, no matter what.
What about criminals? Does your God forgive criminals? We're all sinners, saved through Christ.
So I guess the answer's yes.
Shouldn't you be drinking decaf? Phone out of order? I just thought I should be here to catch you when you fainted from shock.
I think we should have this baby.
I mean, you should have it, and I'll pay for it.
Cue the violins.
Why the change of heart? I've realized I want more.
I wanna give more.
How many days in a week? Okay, so I'm a day late.
What a difference a day makes.
I sat in that clinic and I stared at myself while waiting for your call.
A last-minute pardon from the governor.
Never came.
Your deafening silence woke me up to a cold, hard reality, Christian.
You are an unreliable, uncaring person.
You'd be an unreliable, uncaring father.
That's not true.
Why are you arguing with me? It's done.
You smell good.
You scared me.
I didn't hear you come in.
I got my test results back.
Blood pressure could be better.
He asked if I've been under any undue stress of late.
I told him, "A little.
" But in terms of any of the things that you were, you know concerned about, you don't have to be.
No, I can't do it, Sean.
Can't do what? I can't have sex with you right now.
I'm sorry.
I just can't.
I never should have told you about Megan.
I thought if I were just honest, somehow things would be better.
At least we could be reaI with each other for a change.
We are being real, Sean.
You're just not liking the results you're getting.
Bullshit! You're not forgiving me, because you can't, Julia.
You don't want to.
At least be honest about it.
Then we could go from there.
You're right.
I don't want to.
It's just too easy for you to waltz in here and tell me you've done the dishes you've taken the test, you've had an affair.
You're right.
I don't want to forgive you.
Did you even need me to get tested? Was that just a lie so you wouldn't have to get near me for a few days and then you think up some other way to avoid touching me.
Look, you need time to forgive me, take your time.
But let's not lie to each other anymore.
If we're gonna start over, we've got to start by telling the truth.
I don't want to have a relationship that's built on lies.
Not anymore.
You're right, Sean.
No more lies.
Look, I'm going along with your decision, Dr.
Santiago.
What are you so angry about? Why wasn't I present at the patient's initiaI consultation? The woman had been in therapy for 10 years.
It seemed to be working.
- There was no red flag.
Christian and I- - Right.
Christian and you.
I keep forgetting about the hierarchy here at McNamara / Troy.
I keep imagining I'm a part of it.
You weren't brought aboard with the promise of parity.
What about respect? It's because I slept with Christian, isn't it? Suddenly, I'm no longer a professionaI with credentials.
I'm just his latest conquest.
I'm not here to pass judgment on your promiscuity.
Why don't you admit it? You're operating out of repressed rage because I rejected you and slept with your partner.
Dr.
Santiago, as a professional it should've been obvious when I came on to you I was acting out because of trouble in my marriage.
It wasn't personal.
You could have been anyone.
After you.
Good morning, Ms.
Caine.
We wanted to talk to you about your request for a breast reduction.
- You mean Sassy's request.
- That's right.
Sassy's request.
Unfortunately, we've decided not to go ahead with the procedure.
I don't understand.
I thought Dr.
Reed was in favor of it.
She is, and I can assure you we gave her opinion serious consideration.
But in the end, we had to abide by our own decision.
But Sassy really wants it, and if Dr.
Reed thinks we should do it- Dr.
Reed is extremely capable and I know you've made tremendous strides with her.
I would like to feeI more certain that we've exhausted every alternative before resorting to an invasive surgery.
And you feeI the same way, Dr.
McNamara? I think what Dr.
Santiago says makes sense.
Okay.
I just hope Sassy understands.
I'm sure she will.
She might even feeI relieved, ultimately.
Bitch.
- Excuse me? - I said, "Bitch.
" You gonna make that child wait a year? You know her suffering.
You don't do shit about it.
- Ms.
Caine - Do I look like a Ms.
Caine to you? I'm Dr.
McNamara.
And you are? Justice.
And that is what I seek: Justice for the unheard and the unseen.
For the oppressed and the repressed.
For those who have been forced into the shadows and who will remain there no longer.
Justice, please don't do this.
Do not "Please, Justice" me.
We must rise up and defend the rights of that little girl.
And our numbers will be so great that we're gonna make that Million Man March look like a block party.
I'm scheduling Sassy for surgery.
Ham and cheese.
Gee, if only I'd saved my foreskin, I could have given it to you.
Stop sitting shiva already.
You're not even Jewish.
I think you're going to extremes.
This may just be a way of dealing with your guilt.
DeaI with your own guilt.
As far as I'm concerned everything happened so that I could discover the kingdom of heaven and live happily ever after with Cara.
Are you saying you have feelings for this girl? - What if I do? - Well, it's a bad idea, Henry.
Start getting physical, next thing you know you'll want to be honest, tell her everything.
I'm not gonna say anything.
It would just cause her more pain.
What's happening to you, man? I found the truth and it has set me free.
I'm gonna ask Cara to the prom.
- Hey, guys.
Is this seat taken? - Is now.
I'll be right back.
I forgot my orange juice.
Don't move.
I'll get it.
He's becoming more Christlike every day.
He's changing all right.
When someone goes through change, they need people they can depend on.
- Matt, can I ask you a favor? - Sure.
Anything.
- Forget it.
It's too embarrassing.
- No, Cara.
Come on.
Will you take me to the prom? What? I've never been to a dance before and I thought if I went with somebody who really knew me I mean, you've already seen me at my worst, so- Cara, look, I'd like to, but- - You've asked someone else? - No.
One OJ on me.
I'm so sorry.
I thought God, I'm such a sociaI retard.
Schmuck! What did you say to her? Nothing.
Never mind.
I'll find out myself.
Hey, Henry.
She asked me to the prom.
How's that? Hi.
I just Before Annie gets too attached to it.
That's all.
I can return it.
Don't worry.
Was he too messy? Pecker and Frisky didn't exactly see eye to eye.
Sorry.
You wanna come in? - I can't stay.
- Good.
I'm not prepared for company.
Four stars? Two thumbs up.
Memorable performances in a sensitive story about two female contortionists.
I laughed.
I cried.
I came.
So how are you guys doing? The family I've been excluded from, I mean.
What was she like? You don't need to do this.
It had nothing to do with you.
What was she like? She was dying and she needed him, and he felt essential.
Just chalk it up to his midlife crisis.
Let it go, right? Forgive and forget.
I can't.
Isn't that awful? For a while, I even felt badly for him: that he lost this incredibly brave and courageous woman.
Isn't that pathetic? I'm the one he screwed, and I felt badly for him.
Give yourself time.
At least you're being honest with each other.
You're one step ahead of the rest of us.
Can I use your bathroom? - Can I help you? - Yes.
I'd like to test the paternity of my son.
I brought his razor.
The person I spoke with said that'd be okay as long as he was the only one using it.
We usually prefer a cheek swab but in cases where confidentiality is an issue Yes.
It is.
It's very much an issue.
This should be fine.
Did you bring a sample from the father in question? Thank you.
- Great hair.
- Excuse me? Lots of roots.
How conclusive are these tests, exactly? Our margin of error is less than 1°%.
That's as close to the truth as you're going to get.
Look, just say it, okay? I'm operating on a psychotic woman in order to appease her 8-year-old fantasy self - and you find it morally reprehensible.
- No, I don't.
We reshape hundreds of bodies every year in order to gratify all sorts of fantasies.
If you ask me, Ms.
Montana Caine seems a lot less delusionaI than most.
- She's a multiple personality.
- Oh, please.
Who isn't? To my mother, I'm a child.
To Jan, I'm a heartless, rejecting bitch and to my dog, I'm God.
Maybe I should get a dog.
You have a point.
Father, surgeon, husband.
The only difference is, all of mine are named Sean and no operation can help them get along.
How are her vitals? Excellent.
May I see her chart from the last procedure, please? Something wrong? BP is 105/65.
Her heart rate is 75.
Respiration is 12 to 14.
Ms.
Caine is suddenly in incredible shape.
It's like she changed from a middle-aged woman to a kid.
No one's in right now.
Can I take a message? I left three messages at your office.
Your receptionist, by the way, is a bitch.
FaithfuI as a bulldog.
Didn't let you get through once.
Can I get through now? How much was the procedure? I didn't have it.
- No kidding? - I can prove it.
I can come over tomorrow morning and throw up on your floor.
Why'd you lie to me? I thought maybe if you felt some of my hurt and disappointment- Then we'd be even? I wasn't even sure I wanted this baby.
You keep trying to fill up this void with sex, but it never works.
You still don't feeI whole.
So then you pray to a higher power because you can't face the harsh reality that you're alone.
Then after one night of meaningless sex with a complete bastard you suddenly have a miracle growing inside of you.
Then all you know is that you love this person-to-be unconditionally.
So you think maybe there is a higher power.
Maybe this is it.
So what kind of arrangement are we talking about? A realistic one.
FinanciaI support, visiting rights, childproofing your apartment.
Nothing you can't handle, asshole.
Hey, watch your mouth in front of the kid.
What's with the hat? You reconverting? Is this about prom, because I'm not taking Cara, man.
You're free to ask her.
She's not Jewish.
- Make up your mind, Henry.
- What mind? Whose mind? I have no idea who I am anymore.
I tried to find a new identity, a new God, a new set of beliefs, a new girlfriend.
Nothing is making me feeI any better.
You're still the same guy.
No, I'm not.
- Hey, don't do anything stupid.
- It's a little late for that.
Henry, look, we're friends, okay? My ass is on the line, too.
Then you better cover it.
I just want to look in the mirror and see an honest man looking back at me and the only way to do that is to act like one.
So what's that supposed to mean? You're gonna tell her what we did? That's exactly what that means.
- She up yet? - Any minute now.
Would you make sure we're set to move her to aftercare? I'll stay here.
She sort of looks like a child, doesn't she? I wonder which one of them gets to dream.
Mommy.
It's Dr.
McNamara, Sassy.
I just wanted to tell you everything went fine.
I'm the same as all the other kids? Your breasts will be less noticeable.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I got you apple, grape, and berry.
You remembered.
Are you leaving now? Yes when Montana wakes up.
Where do you go when Montana's here? Underneath where nobody can hurt me.
Can you tell me how to get there? Julia, are you all right? You look I need to talk to you and I didn't want to do it at home or on the phone in front of Sean or anything.
Come in.
- Look, I just need to be honest with you.
- About what? Don't you have any more toilet paper? I'm as bloated as a whale, and there is no toilet paper.
- I didn't know you had company.
- She's on her way out.
Really, Christian, we don't all pee standing up.
Gina, Julia.
Julia's my partner's wife and Gina's The mother of his child.
You're having a baby? No, I'm having it.
He's paying for it.
- I'm shocked.
- Yeah, I know.
Can you see him as a father? I gotta go.
Doctor's appointment at 10:00.
It was nice meeting you.
It's because of you, you know what you said about getting my own family, not using yours.
It hurt like hell, but made sense.
Good.
I'm glad.
So what did you want to tell me? The other day when I came here It was wrong, and asking you about Megan I have to stop putting you in the middle.
If I have questions about my husband's life, I have to ask him.
I'm sorry.
And congratulations.
Julia.
What do you think? Am I gonna be a good father? I hope so.