No Tomorrow (2016) s01e11 Episode Script

1 Previously, on No Tomorrow I loved her so much.
EVIE: You have to tell your brother you're engaged to his ex-fiancée.
KAREEMA: Wha I'm going to.
PETE: Will you make me the happiest man in the world for the third time? - DEIDRE: I accept your proposition.
- (Laughter) What's the deal with your fox, man? Oh, dude, she's great.
I can't be with someone who refuses to be his whole self.
Am I your rebound? We're just living in the moment.
(Birds chirping) Hey.
Mm.
Hey, yourself.
Mm.
I had the most amazing dream last night.
Oh, that wasn't a dream.
(Both chuckle) Yeah, no.
That was also great.
We were taking our kids to an amusement park.
In a Camaro.
Kids? Wow.
You looked super hot in mom jeans.
(Laughs) So, uh, what do you say, should we make this, like FacePage official? (Chuckles softly) That'd be tight.
(Laughs) You know, I think that we've got a pretty great future ahead of us.
(Sighs) (Knocking on door) - Hi.
- Hey.
Can I come in? Um, of course.
You didn't call me back last night.
Uh Last night? Yeah.
I left you a message.
Oh.
I haven't checked yet.
I got caught up in a little something.
Well.
If you had, you would know that, thanks to you, - I checked off number three on my lyst.
- I'm really proud of you.
Yeah.
I mean, I punched him first, but then we made up, and, oh we exploded my mom over this hydroelectric dam.
Now she's part of the power grid forever.
Oh, wow.
That sou that that's i-incredible.
I feel like I've just chucked off this this load off my life, and now we can get back on track.
We can book that trip to Iceland, see the northern lights, because why not? Also, I have a surprise for you.
(Grunts) Evie, I would like you to meet my mother.
I kissed Timothy.
- Finger? - Yeah.
- On purpose? - Yeah.
- Timothy L.
Finger.
- Yes.
'Cau Mm.
You and I have gotten into trouble in the past not being totally honest with each other, so (Clears throat) I felt like you should know.
That you've been kissing Timothy L.
Finger on purpose.
I have been spending time with him.
It doesn't mean that he and I are back together, but you and I aren't either.
You ask me to dig into some pretty emotional stuff, which I did, and you moved on in the meantime? Look, I just need time to figure out What, like, which one of us you want? Honesty scone? It's It's not just about you guys.
I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I need some time to sort it all out, and right now, I have to make eggs Benedict because my grandparents are coming over for brunch.
So I should well, I should get moving on that.
Yeah.
Benedict brunch.
Oh Mm-hmm.
XAVIER: Mm-hmm.
I forgot my mother.
(Gasps) (Grunts) I'm gonna - Yeah.
- Yep.
Lou, honey, how are those drinks coming along? Uh, I think that's strong enough, babe.
I want to get buzzed, not blitzed.
(Whispers): Hey, is he okay? He's been in a funk since he failed his driver's test.
It's an injustice! This Department of Licensing dipwad, Bernard.
He didn't like me from the jump.
He said I didn't understand the rules of the road.
16 years building engines on the Indy circuit, and I don't know cars? He can suck a tailpipe.
I'm sorry, Grandpa.
It's ageism.
Nobody knows cars better than me.
Well, you still rev my engine.
(Grunts, laughs) You know what, why don't I make a couple of calls and see if I can get you another test.
(Chuckling): Well, thanks, sweetheart.
NAN: First time I've seen that smile in four days.
It's the vodka.
(Laughter) (Door opens) (Sighs) (Snoring) (Yells) (Screams) Jesse! Cuz! Oh, no.
I-I think I nodded off, man.
Is the macaroni ready? Mate, what are you doing here? Are you all right? Are you in trouble? Out of trouble, cuz.
You remember the prison guard that we bought off so he would spring me loose? - Yeah.
- Well, he let another guy out that turns out was way worse than me.
So, I testified in exchange for immunity on my own little jailbreak.
- You're looking at a newly free cuz, - Oh, my my cuz, back to reclaim his future.
Seriously, your timing could not have been better.
Oh, no.
What's going on? Is it your fox? Yeah, well, I wouldn't call her my fox.
Is there a rooster in the fox house? XAVIER: I could be base jumping or mountaineering or sailing around the world or whatever you want to do.
- Scuba diving.
- Perfect.
We could be doing that right now.
- Heck yeah.
- I shouldn't be pining over some chick.
I mean, I have no interest in being part of a love triangle.
That's not who I am, that's not what I want.
And that's why I'm bowing out.
Oh okay.
But I wish you all the best, and I hope that you figure out what you want.
But for now, if you'll excuse me, Jesse's a free man again, so we're gonna go to the bottom of Lake Washington, and fish for golf balls.
You know, this is gonna be great.
I didn't want to be caught up in the love triangle, anyway.
I mean, Xavier lied to me, he was reckless, and sure, I'm glad he made up with his dad, but there's a lot of baggage there.
So I am moving on.
And I'm really excited.
Not just about what might happen with Timothy, but about life in general.
Okay.
I just asked if I can borrow your stapler, so - can I? - (Phone line ringing) (Gasps) Oh.
Yeah.
It's ringing.
You've reached Bernard Korwatch at the Department of Licensing.
- Leave a message.
- (Beeps) Hi, Bernard.
This is Evie Covington again, calling about a possible do-over for my grandfather's driving test? I'm sure you can understand, Bernard, he can't imagine a future without driving.
You know, people need to have a say in their own futures.
I know I do.
I'm figuring that out right now.
But that is a (chuckles) another topic.
Unrelated.
Please call me back.
Thank you.
Wind her up and watch her go.
(Sighs loudly) Do you want us to ask if everything is okay, Hank? Yeah.
Evie? I-Is everything okay, Hank? Not at all.
Went bunker shopping yesterday.
There's only one in my price range.
Well, it's a beautiful zero bed, quarter bath.
What's a quarter bath? Oh! A Murphy toilet? Well, that sounds cozy.
HANK: There's only room for one more person.
So I have to trim my survivor list.
It's down to you, Timothy and Kareema.
I'll make it easy for you.
I'm out.
I'd rather be obliterated.
You're being extra, extra mean today.
(Sighs) Sorry.
I'm just nervous.
This bitch is getting hitched.
(Screams softly) Okay, you're aware that is a pitch humans cannot hear? Pack of dogs going buck wild somewhere.
(Laughs): I'm so excited! When? Where? Why didn't I get an invitation? No.
How can I help? Oh, wow, it's so much.
Here.
Hank also has a problem.
- Help him.
- You can't do squat, because the only person who should be in that bunker with me is off the market.
PETE: That guest list is looking a little lean.
You have quibbles? - Well, you cut my brother.
- Correct.
And your own mom.
We had to start somewhere.
You sure nothing else is going on? It's quite time-intensive to plan the most important day of my life for the third time.
My schedule is not particularly accommodating.
Didi, my darling you look more stressed than a sunfish in a gator's mouth.
I am.
Why don't I handle all of the planning from here on out? You're comfortable assuming that level of responsibility? Of course I am.
All you need to do is pick a dress and let old Three-Pete take care of the rest.
Mwah.
Hey, little lady, you are Didi's new assistant, is that right? Daphne.
But you can call me Daffy for short.
How are you? Can I get you some coffee or water or soda water? I just need a little favor.
Here's the deal.
You and I, we are gonna put together her perfect wedding.
I've been scouting apple orchards, and I would like you to find us a good bluegrass band.
Here is my credit card.
And, uh, Daphne let's keep this on the just-between-us level.
(Quietly): Okay.
Hey, Daffy! (Chuckles): Hey, Hank.
How are you? Can I get you some coffee or water or soda water? Nah.
And I wasn't eavesdropping or nothing.
I didn't hear anything, and don't want to get involved with all your stuff.
But on the "just-between-us level," these days Deirdre prefers continental jazz to bluegrass.
She's not gonna want to get married in an orchard.
She gets hay fever.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
You want to write this down.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Yes.
Okay.
- Ready? - Yes.
Actually, no.
I don't think I can do this without Rohan.
- Really? - Yeah.
I ju I never imagined myself getting married without my brother there.
Okay, I never imagined myself getting married.
(Laughs) But now that it's happening, it doesn't feel right to move forward without him.
It's okay.
I completely understand.
Thank you.
But we need to get married soon if I'm going to stay in this country legally.
I know.
I know TIMOTHY: I know you like Mediterranean.
It's braised octopus, in a feta, tomato and olive sauce.
Wow, it looks fantastic.
- You sound surprised.
- I am.
I didn't know that you could cook.
I took some classes.
Fair warning, you should probably put on an extra pair of socks before you try this, because it's gonna knock 'em right off.
(Laughing) Bon appétit.
Oh, no.
What? What, is it okay? It happened.
Socks (laughing): knocked clear off.
I told you! (Both laughing) Hey, let me ask you something.
Yeah, shoot.
If if I wanted to go to Iceland, like, tomorrow, would you want to come? - Yeah, of course.
- Really? But you hate last minute plans.
Yeah, I used to.
But now I figure, as long as I have my laptop, I can work from anywhere.
(Groaning) Chiyoko-san threw you around like a rag doll.
Yeah, that's 'cause he's 450 pounds.
Ah, okay.
- Well, let's cross it off the list.
- What's next? Blowfish? Roll the dice? No, I'd like to, cuz, but, uh, I got other plans tonight.
What? What are you doing? Well, I'm going out with Amber.
Do you remember her? Um Amber oh.
"That's the same color as my energy.
" - Yeah, that's her! - (Knocking on door) That's her! (Door opening) (Amber sighing) - Come here, my beautiful love - Oh! - sweet muffin.
- Oh, I missed - this glorious mane.
- Oh.
(Moaning): I want to run my fingers through it - all night long.
- Oh, wow.
- Isn't she amazing? - Oh, yeah.
She's got her own line of jewelry, made out of dehydrated fruit.
- Lovely.
- We're gonna go, cuz, 'cause we have, uh, a lot of catching up to do.
Oh (gasps) see you later! I'll, uh, I'll be there soon.
(Phone clicks) I-I'm so sorry, I got to head down to the ImPropoganda offices.
My story on psychedelic fungi is getting bumped up to the cover.
What? That is great.
Yeah, but I'm gonna have to work fast.
Look, we're still on for tomorrow, yeah? Yeah.
Sorry again for taking off early.
Oh, that's okay.
Go do your thang.
Kareema never got you off that, huh? - Nope.
- Good.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Mmm.
Num, num, num.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
(Growls playfully) Okay, my stud.
I have to get moving.
I'm picking up a crate of dried papaya for a new series of brooches.
- I'll come.
I love crafting.
- No, no, no.
You're getting a job today, remember? - Okay.
- Mmm, okay.
- Mmm, mmm.
- Mmm.
(Both grunting) (Door closes) What? Nothing.
No, nothing.
I just (clears throat) can't believe you're getting a job because some girl tells you to.
Heck, yeah, I am.
I love her, cuz.
Been trying to get back together for four years.
(Coughs) Whipped.
Hey, cuz.
Careful, man.
That kind of scoff in the pen will get you shivved.
Here, here, potentially right here.
Uh, don't think you should change your life for a chick.
That's all I'm saying.
That's it.
Well, whatever.
You're just lonely.
No.
Not lonely at all nope.
Yeah, get real, cuz.
You know? You walked away from the woman you love.
- It's just sad.
- I just didn't want to be part of an awkward love triangle.
Well, what are you gonna do instead? Are you just gonna travel the world? Y-yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
Great.
Well, you already did that.
Do you remember the pictures that you sent me - from your escapades? - Yes.
A.
That was very mean, 'cause I was stuck in prison.
You said you found them very uplifting.
B.
You came back for a reason.
Something was missing.
Who's it gonna be? Hey, you want to play charades again? No.
It's a movie.
No.
Hmm.
You think Evie survived? No.
Okay.
Heads Evie, tails Timothy.
Psst! What is it, Daffy? - I said, "Psst.
" - (Groans) What? Did you say Deirdre loves begonias or petunias? Petunias; she loves purple.
(Sighing): Got it.
Thanks, Hank.
No problem.
Just don't ask me anything else unless it's a real, real, real, real emergency.
- I won't.
- (Sighs) Hank.
(Sighs) Mm-hmm? I have a real, real, real, real emergency question about place settings.
HANK: I've got one word for you, sporks.
Looks like you were his first choice to spend forever with.
- It would appear so.
- Now you'll die in the nuclear holocaust along with the rest of us.
Aw.
It's a pretty sweet gesture when you think about it.
I will be leaving now.
Ditto.
DOL.
Bernard speaking.
Hi.
Bernard.
It's Evie Covington.
Oh, boy.
Did you get my voice mails? Yes.
All 16 of them.
Fantastic.
So what do you say? Your grandfather's not getting a do-over.
Please stop calling me.
(Dial tone drones) This isn't over, Bernard.
I can't decide.
They're just so different.
I mean, am I an ivory white pantsuit bride, or am I a pearl white pantsuit bride? One is smart and sensible, the other is, you know, a real statement piece.
Well, either way, Didi, my darling, you are gonna look prettier than a lace doily on a chestnut nightstand.
This choice demands more scrutiny.
I have to say, I have not known you to be an indecisive woman.
Do I need to take the temperature of your feet? - (Laughs) - No, no.
I just need a little more time to pick the proper outfit for our happy occasion.
(Sighing): You were right.
I think I came back 'cause I was unfulfilled.
The thing is, I didn't know it at the time, but Evie was exactly what I was looking for.
There you go.
I knew that from the first time you talked about her, when you were sawing those handcuffs off me.
- Mm.
- She got under your skin, cuz, like a new, younger layer of skin.
Right yeah.
Well, anyway, the point is, we both lost sight of how special this is.
- I'm gonna fight for her.
- Yeah.
Put a little "try" in that love triangle.
(Jazz piano music playing) (Laughs) (Music ends, applause) (Laughing): This was such a good idea.
Yeah.
The site of our first date.
Back to the scene of the crime.
Oh.
Crime is right.
We had to use fake IDs to get in.
Yours was so bad, it didn't even look like you.
He had a chinstrap.
Yeah, well, what about yours? You remember Blanche with the crazy eyes? (Laughing): Yeah.
Because every time I tried to use it, - I had to be like - (Laughs) (Both laughing) I love how much we know about each other.
Like our inside jokes, our long-term goals, our real names, you know, the important stuff.
Yeah, but you know what? Without the glasses and with the cooking skills and the spontaneity, it's like you're a whole new person.
XAVIER: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this song if for a very special lady in the audience, who I should never have let slip through my fingers into Finger's fingers.
Oh, fig.
(Clears throat) What are you doing? Oh, I'm gonna piano duel for your love.
No.
Please, don't.
(Slow clapping) (Sighs) Oh.
Oh, you play the piano? Self-taught.
You self-teach yourself this one? (Plays Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer") Yeah.
In third grade.
He's an amateur, Evie.
Oh, yeah? How's this for amateur? Hamish! Finger! Evie's moved on.
You should, too.
Ten years, mate, and you couldn't close the deal.
(Yells) Break it up.
(Grunting) Evie? - Hey, Evie, hang on.
- Evie? Hey, Evie.
Just wait.
- Would you please come on.
- Evie just one second! I thought you bowed out.
Yes, I-I did, but now I would like to bow back in.
- You can't do that.
- Hey, look, I don't want to walk away, all right, from what we have.
And I would like to apologize for Finger's childish behavior.
- Okay, you know what, Hamish? - Okay, no, I'm nipping this in the bud.
Either we all agree to act like adults, or we go our separate ways.
- Fine.
I'm an adult.
- Me, too.
Also an adult.
Then I will date you both, and we'll see how it goes.
Great.
Yeah.
(Chuckles): I'm not threatened by him.
Yeah, and I'm-I'm not threatened by him not being threatened by me.
- Nice one.
- Great.
Then I will see you tomorrow night.
- Boo-ya.
- And, Timothy, I will see you the day after I need a date for Deirdre's wedding.
A wedding? Score.
JESSE: That sounds like a great plan.
Yep.
It's gonna be the most romantic date she's ever been on.
She's gonna forget all about that finger puppet.
Yep.
Yes, sir, yes, sir.
(Sighs): Okay, man what do you think, would you hire me? (Sighs): Uh, I don't think the attire is the problem.
Yeah.
I think it's the whole ex-con thing.
But the right suit might balance the scales a little.
- Well - This one's too tight, though.
You can see the outline of my yankee doodle.
Ooh.
Back to the drawing board.
- (Sniffs) - Oh.
- That's a nice bolo tie.
- Oh, thanks, partner.
- What is that, is that turquoise? - Yeah, you betcha.
- Cool.
I should get me one of those.
- Yeah.
- JESSE: You can't pull that off.
- J - He's probably right.
- (Chuckles) Hey, hope you don't mind my asking is that a Irish accent? Uh no, mate.
Eh.
I always wanted to go there.
Ireland.
Sit at the rapid-fire feet of Michael Flatley and learn the ins and outs of Irish step-dancing.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Why don't you do exactly that, then? (Chuckles): I don't know.
I always end up going to Florida on vacation.
Come home with a sunburn every time.
Sounds like the universe is trying to tell you something, doesn't it? I mean, you keep doing the same thing, you keep getting burned.
(Voice breaks): Yeah.
Y There's a there's a comfort in-in - sticking with what you know.
- But life's short.
Very short.
But hey, you do what you want.
Good luck to you.
KAREEMA: Vodka? - Sure.
- Really? Yeah.
It's been a strange couple of days.
I'm kind of dating two guys at once.
- Ah, you've come so far.
- Yeah, it's pretty baller, huh? It was, until you said the word "baller.
" Speaking of love triangles, how's Rohan? (Sighs): Not great.
Told him I wanted him to be there for the wedding, and he unleashed a truly spectacular string of curse words and then hung up.
- I'm sorry.
Is there anything I can do? - Can you dress up as a petulant 34-year-old Indian man and forgive me? I could try, but it would probably come off as racist.
Oh, it was just so much easier when we were kids.
Just beat the crap out of each other with pillows and then we could talk it out.
Well, you're kind of acting like children now, so (Sighs) Evie, I have something to give you.
Is it a low five? No.
It's the spare key to my bunker.
In case of an apocalyptic event, we'll be spending forever together.
Oh thanks, Hank.
Congratulations.
- (Ringtone plays) - I hope you like Vienna sausage.
Hey, Hank.
I got some bad news, TLC.
I've chosen my forever bunker mate.
I'm going with Evie.
I get it.
I would do the same.
If it falls on me to repopulate the Earth, she's the smart choice.
Okay.
Well, th Look, I-I can't really talk right now.
I'm on a deadline, and I have to type with one hand, after hitting after hitting the keys a little hard last night.
It's taking forever.
I-I got to go.
Good luck, T-Pot.
Take it easy on those keys.
Hi, Bernard! - It's Evie Covington.
- Oh, no.
Did you get those chocolates I sent over? Yes.
And the edible arrangement.
Fantastic.
So what are my chances of a do-over? (Sighs heavily) Fine.
I love cupcakes.
Hello? (Theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly playing) Choose your weapon.
Are you serious? I want to talk.
If a pillow fight is what it takes, then a pillow fight is what it takes.
Sure you want to do this? Say when, cowboy.
Draw.
(Both yelling) (Grunting) What are we doing here? You want to go for a ride? A ride? A seaplane? Who's the pilot? You ever wonder what was number one on my apocalyst? EVIE: Oh, fig Uh, is it too late to turn around? Much too late.
Holy hell! (Chuckles) (Laughs) XAVIER: It's peaceful, isn't it? Are we going somewhere in particular? Absolutely not.
The whole point of flying is to fly.
Cool.
Then I want to steer.
Sorry? I want to fly the plane.
- XAVIER: Can't argue with that.
Back - is up, and forward is down.
We don't want to go forward.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay? Here you go.
I'm flying.
- You're flying.
- (Laughs, exclaims) - I'm flying! - (Laughing) KAREEMA (exhales): You ready to talk? You are selfish and destructive.
I know I am.
That's why I was never looking for this.
You know me I detest marriage and monogamy.
But I I've never felt this way.
I didn't know it was possible.
Then you should do it.
You should get married.
Really? Yeah.
You have my blessing.
Thank you.
I just, uh can't witness it.
And I'm gonna need a little time and space.
(Exhales) Hey, I love you, Ro.
Okay, now you're scaring me.
(Both chuckle) I love you, too.
EVIE: It was a little rougher than expected, but overall, a pretty good landing.
Thank you.
You know what, I appreciate that, considering it is the first time I've done it without an instructor.
- You've got to be kidding.
- No.
Oh, well, no harm done.
Can I ask you a question? Okay.
What if the asteroid doesn't hit? Uh eh I don't know.
It will, so No.
But just for fun, what if it doesn't? What does your future look like? I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
It matters to me.
I have hopes and dreams for my life that go beyond the next six months, and I I want to start planning for them.
Why? What's the point? Planning for a future that you know is not gonna happen.
Well, hypothetically.
- It's too painful.
- I have kept an open mind about your theory this whole time, and you won't even entertain this as a hypothetical? And what if I can't? Then what? I mean, is that it? You're just gonna go off with Finger? Honestly I'm not sure whether I can see a future with Timothy.
Yeah, well But you can't even conceive of one for yourself.
I don't know how to make that work.
- You flew a plane? - Yeah.
(Laughs) Sounds like a great date.
Started great, then it got a little intense at the end.
Are you trying to tell me you joined the mile-high club? (Laughs): No.
We just didn't leave it on great terms.
I have a hunch that what you really want is Xavier, but with a future.
Well, that's not on the table.
LOU: Ladies, stop the chatter.
I'm trying to get in the right head space here.
You got this.
Yeah.
(Exhales) Oops.
Uh (exhales) L-Let me just (Sighs) Here's to your new job, mate.
Oh, thank you so much for putting a good word in with Murray, cuz.
Amber's pumped.
(Snorts) We have officially and consciously coupled.
How are you and your fox? Not so good.
She's having trouble accepting that I don't believe in wasting time planning for the future.
So Eh.
What "eh"? I just feel like you're being a wimp.
I'm not being a wimp.
I'm not being a wimp.
Am I being a wimp? Uh-huh.
I'm-I'm being practical.
Yeah.
A practical wimp.
Do you know who I was in the clink with, man? A guy named Madoff.
Serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole.
Still woke up every morning and he worked on his appeal.
You know why? 'Cause it gave him something to live for.
You have to stop being such a coward, cuz, let a little hope in.
Dude, I can't believe you were in the slammer with Bernie Madoff.
No, Ralph Madoff.
Moneyman for the Mob.
No relation.
But the point stands.
Evie was willing to go up in a seaplane with you, and you're not willing to entertain a future for her.
Wimp.
Hope.
You get it.
(Knocking) - Hey.
- Hi.
Do you remember that-that night in college when I had that dream? About our future? Yeah.
I still believe in it.
I-I know in-in my bones that you and I end up together.
But I also know that you're still in this exploration phase.
And, honestly, I am, too.
I-I'm really coming into my own professionally right now, and I love it.
But, uh, because of this injury, I missed my deadline yesterday, and I it suddenly gave me some clarity.
Our lives aren't in sync right now.
We just can't seem to get our timing right, can we? Not yet.
But in five months, when that asteroid doesn't hit and you see everything with clear eyes we should talk.
Oh, fig.
It's perfect.
(Chuckles) Pete really outdid himself.
So did Hank.
I'm sorry? For what? - What did you just say? - "For what?" - Before that.
- Before what? About Hank.
Oh.
Just that he put most of the wedding together.
Here's your bouquet.
I-I (Exhales) There's my bride-to-be-once-again.
- Hmm.
- Hello, Pete.
(Chuckles) So, listen, Didi, um, before we re-re-tie the knot, are we really going for it this time? We're here.
All the trappings of a lovely wedding are in place.
I don't care so much about the trappings as I do your heart.
And I don't fancy spending a lot of money on legal fees for a third divorce when I could spend it on my dream trip to Ireland.
So, shoot me straight, is your heart really in it? I know how much you love the Lord of the Dance.
(Exhales) (Sighs) I don't want to deny you that.
(Chuckles) (Indistinct chatter) What is going on? I just talked to Deirdre.
The wedding is off.
(Shouts) Halleluj Although it's a shame that all this meticulous planning - will go to waste.
- Mm.
What? ("Bridal Chorus" playing) (Chuckles) This is so weird.
I love it.
- (Exhales) - Okay.
(Chuckles) Dear colleagues, we were gathered here to celebrate marriage of two other people, but now we are doing this.
Yeah, Mikhail, can we skip ahead to the vows? Da.
Great.
(Exhales) Sofia, I've done a lot of crazy things and people in my life.
But nothing like this.
I don't know what the future holds.
I just know you're in it, and that's all I need right now.
Well, I couldn't have said it any better.
(Both chuckle) You take her? Yes! (Chuckles) You, too? (Chuckles) Hell yes.
By power vested in me and by Internet Web site, you are married.
(Giggles) - Kiss brides! - Yeah.
(Cheering and applause) (Sniffles) (Crickets chirping) Hey.
Hi.
So, it turns out having Jesse around is a bit like having Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder.
Only, uh, - with a lot more hair.
- (Chuckles) He still hasn't cut it? - (Chuckles) It's massive.
It's enormous.
- (Chuckles) I always imagined having a big family.
Five kids.
Maybe living on a farm, somewhere with enough land we could grow our own food.
Sounds dreamy.
And I always wanted to make goat cheese.
(Chuckling): Goat cheese? Hey, this is my hypothetical, statistically unlikely scenario and, in it, I want to make goat cheese.
Well, thank you for sharing it with me.
It means a lot.
I realize that all this time I've been asking you to live in the moment, I haven't once asked you what you hope your future would look like.
I'll show you.
But I need a favor first.
Okay.
Do you still have Big Carl's phone number? Who's Snoopy? EVIE: This is Xavier.
Lou, Nan, I'm Xavier.
- Hi.
- That's quite the getup.
Well, Xavier and I have a surprise for you guys.
I know you love racing and feeling the wind in your hair.
And those days aren't over.
Days of thunder! Now you can speed race your heart out again, within the safe confines of the track.
- (Chuckles) - Oh, Lou.
(Chuckling) That is what I want my future to look like.
Those two.
You turkeys ready to burn some rubber? - Yeah! - Let's do it.
Say, say, say it now Above this earth, yeah, we can be loud No more holding back - (Squealing) - Break, break Breaking free, no gravity Is keeping me down We're not stopping It's the year of absolutely Being absolutely Yes! You won! (Squeals) You won! (Whoops) Yeah! Absolutely - They got the same moves.
- Yep.
Spazzy.
(Chuckles) It's genetic.
And I'll tell you a secret, kiddo.
- They get better with every year.
- (Laughing) - Absolutely loving - Hey.
Absolutely loving Absolutely loving Absolutely.
(Keyboard keys clacking) (Clears throat) I thought I should return the wedding gift you gave me, since I did not, in fact, enter matrimony.
You can give it to Kareema and Sofia.
It's two vials of homemade swine flu vaccine.
Hmm.
While you're here, I want you to have my bunker key.
I thought you crossed me off your bunker list.
I crossed you back on.
I would be honored to repopulate the planet with you if needed and/or possible.
(Grunts) (Exhales) - What are you doing? - Hey.
I am trying to find another astrophysicist to look at my research.
- (Sighs) - No, it's not what you think.
I'm not trying to find someone to prove me right I'm trying to find someone to prove me wrong.
What do you mean? Do you remember that-that first night on the rooftop? When I said the asteroid had liberated all of us? I don't feel that way anymore.
I let you in.
I let hope in.
And if that thing is coming, then I've got to find a way to stop it.
Because I want to spend a lifetime with you.
Oh.