Partners (2012) s01e11 Episode Script

Okay.
Is it up yet? It's only 1:57.
They said the nominations will be out at 2:00.
Oh, I hate this feeling, man.
This is why I don't enter raffles, you know.
You know what this is? It's hope.
And hope sucks.
I hate hope.
You know all those people who say "Don't get your hopes up"? - Well, they're on to something.
- Would you relax? I'm telling you, we're absolutely going to get nominated for an Archie award.
Hey.
It's a word for architects.
So why isn't it called an Archie? Ally, don't be a bick.
Don't worry.
Our design is great.
You know it.
No.
You're right.
It is.
It really is.
And I got to tell you, man.
You deserve all the credit.
Oh, stop it.
I could not have done that alone.
Oh.
God gave me the idea.
He's not kidding.
No.
I am not.
I am not.
This idea was divinely inspired.
I woke up one morning and there it was.
I'm like a prophet.
Yeah.
His people call him Homoses.
- Boys.
- Fellas.
I assume you're waiting for the nominations to come out.
Is that today? You know, I'm so confident I forgot.
You know what? You actually smell confident, Jordy? What's that cologne you're wearing? Confidence by Jordy.
You know it's what all the soon-to-be nominees are wearing.
No.
Those guys are mean.
I'm sorry.
That was mean.
- Hey, what time is it? - It is 1:59.
Crap in a hat.
What design did you guys made for the awards anyway? Was it the Berenson house? I bet it was the Berenson house.
- Of course.
- What else would it be? - I love that house.
Don't you? - Sure.
- What's your favorite feature? - Oh Uh That's hard because there are so many to like.
What's your favorite? - Well, I like that it's shaped like a U.
- Shaped like a U.
And then, there's the round pool in the middle.
Right there in the middle.
But it's contemporary too, you know.
It's really a twist on the classic mid-century modern.
Twist.
Modern.
Twisty modern.
So, I narrowed it down to Dominic, Nicholas, Harrison or Jupiter.
- Oh.
Are those possible baby names? - No.
Possible fathers.
- It's two o'clock! - Okay.
All right.
Attention, everybody.
Here we go.
At the count of ten, begin.
And five, five, five, five.
Four, four, four, four.
Three, three, three, three.
You guys got nominated.
- What the hell is that? - What? I'm laughing.
Is it okay to laugh? Or are you going to dock my pay? That's a laugh? It sounds like Woody Woodpecker getting water boarded.
What are you doing anyway? I'm converting Louis' old horror movies into DVDs.
It's mostly him and this chubby girl.
Was that his girlfriend? No wonder he turned gay.
First of all, he didn't turn gay.
He was born gay.
All right.
And second of all, that chubby girl is me.
Hello? Is there an Archie nominee in the house? Yes, there is.
Who may I say is calling? - Well, it's Archibald nominee.
- Oh, Archie nominee.
How may I help you? I'll tell you how you can help me.
You can do a dance of celebration with me.
Oh.
No, no, no.
I'm not doing a dance of celebration.
- Come on.
- No.
We haven't won anything yet.
We still have that meeting with the judges' panel.
Then I shall do the dance of celebration on my own.
The shimmy's missing something.
Ro-Ro, get in here.
- What? - Do the dance of celebration with me.
No, no, no.
I'm not going to All right.
If everyone's doing it.
Archie nominees, yeah! Archie nominees, yeah! Hey.
This is the ugliest three-way I've ever seen in my life.
What do you want, Roberta Hockman-Klein? I want you to keep it down, all right? You guys got nominated, but you know Nate and Jordy didn't.
We can hear you down the hall.
- What? We're not allowed to be excited? - Just show a little class, or I'm going to go into labor on your desk.
You know what we should do? Get the boombox and dance in front of their office.
- Hello.
- Yes.
We're not going to stoop to their level.
Okay Okay.
You might have forgotten our history with Nate and Jordy Blevins, but I have not.
When we worked at the firm with those guys, they were constantly torturing me.
- What are you talking about? - What am I talking about? Every time Fogell gave them an assignment that we wanted, they would rub it in my face.
They'd walk by our cubicle and do the The Price Is Right loser theme song.
- So what? - So what? This is the perfect opportunity to them back.
Come on.
Let's go.
- No.
No.
No.
It's bad karma.
- Oh.
Karma, karma, karma chameleon.
That is an excellent point.
But I think when we see Nate and Jordy, we need to take the high road.
No rubbing it in their faces.
And that goes for you too, Ms.
Woodpecker.
Whatev.
Now, promise me, Louis.
You're going to take the high road.
- I premise.
- That's not promise.
I promiscuous.
True, but still not what I'm looking for.
I prom queen.
All right.
Fine.
I promise.
Okay.
Great.
So let's head in the kitchen and celebrate quietly.
- Hey, Nate.
- Hey, Jordan.
- Boys.
- Fellas.
Save it.
Roberta already told us you got the nomination.
Yeah.
We really thought we'd be nominated too.
And we really thought you guys wouldn't be nominated.
- Hey, you got a phone call.
- Who is it? From the high road, I can't tell you.
From the low road, it's the Archie Awards calling to schedule your interview.
Suck it, losers.
- All right, Louis.
Come on.
- Yeah.
I'll be right there.
I'm just going to go over here and grab a juice from the refrigerator and - I knew it.
- Roberta, he's doing it.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I know that I should be gracious and humble, but I Archie! Don't say "God bless you.
" They always come in fours.
Archie! Archie! Archie! Nomination.
I think I must be allergic to your cologne.
What is it? Snubbed by the Archie Awards.
What do you guys think went so terribly wrong? Honestly, I have no fricking idea.
We've been over these plans twenty times.
They're perfect.
It's probably the best thing we've ever done.
It's a really cool twist on a mid-century modern design.
Yeah.
It's got the U shape, the white brick exterior.
- Wait a minute.
Did you just say U shape? - Yeah.
Why? - Pool in the middle? - Yeah.
How did you know? - Wait.
This is your design? - Yeah.
It's great, isn't it? Yeah.
It is great.
It's really I mean no.
No, it's awful you guys are losers.
I got to go.
So, when you're arranging the display, think tasteful but with a wow factor.
I see what you mean.
That makes sense.
And, um Let's see.
What else? Yeah.
Let's see.
What else? - Renata, are you imitating me? - Totally.
- Why? - It's called mirroring.
It makes people feel comfortable.
I took a class at the Learning Annex on "Ðow to get people to like you".
- Hi, Ally.
- Hi, Wyatt.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Ok.
- Ok.
Renata, why don't you go work on that display case over there? Sure.
I like her.
She makes me feel comfortable.
- So, what's up? - Oh, I was just out for a jog.
I wanted to see the library Joe and Louis are working on a few blocks over.
- Don't you love it? - Um It's not so much that I love it.
It's more that I'm completely unaware of it.
How do you know so much about what Joe and Louis do? Well, a helpful trick I use is I ask Louis a question about what they're working on, and I listen to his answer.
- Yeah.
You've got to stop doing that.
- What do you mean? You're making me look bad.
When I listen to them talk about work, you know what I think about? Cake.
- Why? - I really like cake, Wyatt.
Okay.
Well, I'm off tomorrow.
If you want, I could come by and teach you all about everything they're working on.
- Oh.
I I don't know.
I'm really busy.
- I can bring cake.
I'll do it for Joe.
So, when you explain to the judges how the idea came to you, try not to use the words "Prophet" or "Jesus-like figure".
Yeah.
Sure.
You got it.
I think humility is our best approach here.
So where are you going? Where did you go? - Hey.
- Yeah.
What's wrong with you? Nothing.
Nothing.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Feeling good.
Feeling feeling feeling real good.
I just got a case of the FFAs.
- The FFAs? - Yeah.
Free floating anxieties.
All gay men have them.
We got them in our gift bag when we graduate from the academy.
I'm good.
You know, nervous energy is healthy.
Okay.
So, they're going to ask us to walk them through the design process.
I figured you'd start by saying - I'm excited.
- That didn't sound excited.
That sounded like the plane is going down.
And I have a feeling that I'm also on that plane.
You're wrong, Joe.
You've never been good at reading people.
I'm great.
Oh, no.
Louis, I've known you a long time.
When you go do Tony the Tiger, you're usually hiding something.
Goodman and McManus? The judges will be ready in about five minutes.
- Sounds good.
- Fun in the waiting room.
- What is going on with you? - Nothing.
I'm fern.
- You just said you're fern.
- Yeah.
Well, I am.
Louis, promise me there's nothing going on.
I premise.
- Louis.
- I primrose.
- Say promise.
- I prophylactic.
Louis! I think I stole the idea from Nate and Jordy Blevins.
You stole Nate and Jordy's idea? I said I think I might have stolen Nate and Jordy's idea.
- Well, what's the difference? - The word "think.
" Sit down.
Listen.
Did you steal it or not? Not on purpose.
You know I would never do anything like that.
But yesterday, when they showed me their plans, I began to remember bits and pieces of a conversation that I must have overheard, and those bits and pieces started burrowing into my brain and plant themselves, and that seed started to germinate into an idea.
An idea I thought was mine, but now I think it was the Blevins brothers.
I had Nate and Jordy's seed inside of me.
Well, that is a truly unfortunate metaphor.
I feel so much better.
You know this review is driving me crazy.
All right.
Let's go in there and win that award.
What? No.
What are you talking about? I'm not going in there with a stolen idea.
Accidentally stolen.
Come on.
Accidents happen.
That's a phrase.
No.
We've got to tell them that it's Nate and Jordy's idea.
No.
We can't tell them that it's Nate and Jordy's idea.
We can't tell them we stole an idea.
- But we did steal it.
- Okay.
Shh.
Okay.
Shh.
Sit down.
Geez.
Accidentally.
Let me put it in a different way.
- Say we killed a hooker.
- What? Accidentally.
Okay.
We accidentally killed a hooker, right? You know, we're not going to tell everybody about it.
We're going to go and take the dead hooker's body and we're going to bury it in your mom's backyard.
And then, we're going to keep it to ourselves.
And then, we're going to go in there and win an award.
I'm going in there.
I'm going in there and I'm telling them the truth.
Joe.
Joe, no.
You cannot go in there and tell the New York Architecture Council that we submitted a stolen idea.
Accident or no accident, that's that would ruin our careers.
- Guys, we're ready for you.
- All right.
We'll be right there.
- Everything okay? - Everything's fern.
- What are we going to do? - I don't know.
- I'm not okay.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh! I got it.
Okay.
We're going to go in there and we're going to tank it.
We're going to say all the wrong things and there's no way they can give us the award, right? And that way, we don't win an award we don't deserve.
And then, everybody will eventually forget that this ever happened.
And then, a hundred years from now, some detective with a space helmet on is going to dig up a dead hooker in your mom's backyard.
Cold case.
Roll credits.
- That's your idea? - It is.
That is pretty fricking good.
This is the Berenson house.
It's a U-shaped mid-century modern with white brick exterior.
Brick.
Go on.
The client wanted really high ceilings to create a light area space, so Joe and Louis had to build a reinforced wall to support the Who can remember all this? Mid-century modern, U-shaped, white brick exterior, trussed ceilings, reinforced wall.
Turns out mimicking people is awesome for memory.
Me and Ally Jewelers.
It's George Cratz.
It's about his wife's necklace.
Will you take care of it? Sure.
Hi, George.
Hi.
Hey.
Hello.
I'm never going to get all this.
Is there any way you can make it easier? Picture a really high ceiling in a large room.
In order to support the ceiling, you have to build a structure that - Weren't you supposed to bring cake? - I did.
It's for after our lesson.
My mother always said "Sweets are treats for accomplishing feats.
" See, that I could remember because it rhymes.
Let's see if you can remember this.
The wall in the hall is very, very tall.
Come on, man.
Just try it.
For Wyatt.
The wall in the hall is very tall.
The wall in the hall is very, very tall.
The wall in the hall is very, very tall.
Again.
The wall in the hall is very, very tall.
Bye, George.
I think she's got it.
And we think it's brilliant.
It's beautiful.
It's elegant.
It's perfect in every way.
Yes, Mr.
McManus.
But we want to talk about the house you designed.
Oh, the house we designed.
Well, blech.
So, of the five models you see before you, where would you rank yours? Sixth.
I see.
Will you give us just a minute? - Sure.
- We're sorry we wasted your time.
And are any of you homophobic? Because we got a big girl right here.
I got to hand it to you.
You were awful over there.
Oh, come on.
You think? Yes.
You were absolutely unappealing in every way.
Okay, gentlemen.
We're ready for you.
Oh.
What happened? Did you miss the dudey brothers? In my experience, architects are an insufferably arrogant group.
That is why it is so refreshing to see your level of humility.
You and the exceptional originality of your work.
That's why this panel has decided to do something unprecedented.
We're telling you now, before the banquet, that you're going to win the Archie.
Congratulations! You see, it's basically the same house.
It was an honest mistake.
That's a phrase.
- Yeah? Well, you ripped us off.
- That's also a phrase.
The question is why did you get nominated and we didn't? Yeah.
Well, we've been wondering that ourselves.
Yeah.
Maybe you submitted late.
Did you get it there by the 15th? - Of course we did.
- Yeah.
We're not bozos.
- You set it in, right? - Oh.
- What's up with that? - What's up with that? So? So they didn't even submit it.
We're in the clear.
Archie nominee, yay! No.
No.
No.
No, we're not in the clear, okay? It's still their idea.
We have to figure out a way to handle this.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
How about this? We will accept the award, and in our speech we'll thank you for being inspirations to us.
Okay.
Okay.
I got another way to go on that.
How about we go, we accept the award, you guys have to wear dresses for a month, and Louis has to be our butler? And you give us 800$.
Okay.
Okay.
How about this: We won't even go to the awards and you guys can accept the award on our behalf? How about this: Ok, you don't go, we accept the award on our behalf, then I get to make out with Joe's fiancee? And you give us 800$.
Why do you need 800$? - I have my reasons.
- He has his reasons.
- I don't have to share my reasons.
- Guys.
Guys.
Listen.
Listen.
Okay? Look.
We all know what it's like to be in a partnership.
And we all know that in a partnership, you have to be comfortable with the idea of graciously sharing credit.
Okay? Now, you guys came up with a great concept, but we executed it, so all four of us now are in a partnership, whether we like it or not.
So I say we all accept the award together for the design that it took all four of us to make happen.
Agreed? - That sounds pretty good to me.
- All right.
That works for me.
And you guys give us $ 800.
What's so funny? Ro-Ro sent me another one of Louis' old home videos.
Did he always wear that swim cap with the daisies all over it? Yeah.
And they said I look like a girl.
Oh my god.
That's you? - Boys.
- Fellas.
- Who are your friends? - These are our dates.
- Here Dr.
Smith.
- And here Dr.
Jenkins.
They're doctors.
Good evening.
I'm Mark Shakhter, President of the New York Architecture Council.
Thank you.
Honey, you would have been a really cute little girl.
- Would you put that away? - Okay.
Hey, Wyatt.
The wall in this hall is very, very tall.
Actually, this whole place kind of looks like the Berenson house.
Where are you in this video? Oh, you know what? I think this is Louis' aunt's house.
Oh my god.
Hey.
Look familiar? Yeah.
That swim cap still fits me.
No.
Not the cap.
The house.
What? Oh my god! How about that band? Let's hear it for "Lenny Footlick and Evergreen Morning".
Are they terrific or what? Thank you.
Our first award is for residential design under 200 square feet.
Hey.
Hey.
I don't think I stole that idea from you guys.
I think that you stole the idea from me.
- No.
It came to him in a dream, dude.
- I thought it came to you in a dream.
- Whose dream was it? - It was my dream.
It was my aunt's house, so you must have heard me talking about it.
Don't you see what's happening here? I planted my seed into you.
And the winner is Drum roll? Okay.
No drum roll.
Goodman and McManus for the Berenson house.
- Okay.
- Seriously? Okay.
Why don't you guys go up there and claim the award for yourselves? - And you give us 800$.
- Why do you need 800$? Doctor bills.