Recess (1997) s01e11 Episode Script

[school bell rings]
[children cheer]
[music playing]
[screams]
[screams]
[burps]
[music continues]
[door slam]
[clock ticking]
[bell rings]
10:00 already?
OK, time for recess.
[cheering]
Now, just where do you kids think
you're going?
-Recess, Ms. Finster.
-Recess?
Oh, how sad.
How sweetly,
heartbreakingly naive.
Recess has been canceled.
Canceled? But, why?
[Ms. Finster] Rain.
The horror! The horror!
[groaning]
Oh, man, indoor recess, the worst.
Actually, having recess inside
once in a while isn't so bad.
It offers the chance
to get ahead on homework,
plan the next day's reading list,
perhaps evaluate
an experiment or two.
You're a wild one, Grundler.
[gasps]
OK, listen up, you little hooligans.
We're all gonna be indoors
for the duration of this storm,
so you better get used to it.
While inside, there are
several rules you will abide by.
There will be no running,
jumping, climbing, whistling,
throwing, catching,
frolicking, skipping, singing,
somersaulting, sliding,
tackling
[inhales deeply]
juggling, arc welding,
interpretive dancing,
experimental film making,
or having any fun of any kind.
In fact, if you can think of it,
you probably can't do it.
You may, however, play quietly.
This box here is filled
with games and puzzles
for your amusement.
[coughs]
But, Ms. Finster,
my dad played these games.
Yeah, these puzzles are ancient.
Half the pieces are missing.
-[everyone] Yeah, come on!
-[Ms. Finster] Quiet!
Now, if none of that suits you,
Randall, here,
has kindly volunteered
to offer another form
of entertainment.
Show them, boy.
Bingo, anyone?
Bingo? Puzzles?
Oh, man, this is going to be
a boring recess.
At least it's just for one day.
Yeah, it can't last forever.
[Butch] That's just what
they want you to think.
Butch, that you?
You're looking nervous, man.
Nervous? Sure, I'm nervous.
You should be, too.
What do you mean?
Look at you, kids,
just sitting there thinking,
"Hey, this rain will end. Tomorrow's
going to be a sunny day."
Well, that's just what my brother Joey
thought during the storm of '89,
a storm so big, kids were stuck inside
for five days.
[thunder]
Five days?
Yeah. Joey barely lived
to tell the tale.
-[everyone gulps]
-What happened?
Nothing at first, but by day three,
guys started to crack,
kids began getting
on each other's nerves,
friends became enemies.
By day four, cabin fever set in.
Guys started muttering
to themselves,
laughing at jokes no one ever told,
kicking balls that weren't there,
and by day five
[Butch] I I can't say it.
We gotta know, Butch.
On day five,
they started vegging out.
Too weak to talk or play
or even think,
they became the famous
zombie class of '89.
They'd just lay there.
They were helpless.
They were defenseless.
They were mine.
-[thunder]
-[laughter]
Do you think all that stuff
Butch said was true?
A storm that lasts five days? Get real.
Yeah, trust me, Gus. If this rain
isn't over by recess tomorrow,
I'll play bingo.
[thunder]
[Randall] B-5.
Does anyone have b-5?
Bingo!
Bingo, bingo, bingo!
All right, let's start again.
That does it. I'm outta here.
[Ashely A.] So Brittany said, "nuh-uh,"
and Lindsay said, "uh-huh."
So I said, "like, I am so sure."
-Whatcha doing, Vince?
-Practicing my kick.
Nice follow-through.
Got a head for this guy?
Nope, but the goat's head
from this puzzle might fit.
You're right, fits great.
Hey, you guys, you want to hear
my poem?
-Sure.
-[clears throat]
"The farmer's horse was reining up.
The rain was raining down.
The king was reigning over all
the country and the town.
They reined and rained
and reigned together,
and that was surely April weather."
So what do you think?
I think if I don't get out of here soon,
I'm gonna snap.
Come on, guys. It's rained
two days already.
It can't get any worse than this.
[thunder]
N-3.
Does anyone have n-3?
I think I'm getting something.
[woman] Clearing out tonight, count
on sunny skies for the rest of the week.
[cheering]
This is Caitlin Shep, WCOW,
Bombay, India.
Bombay, India?
We're never getting out of here.
[boy] We're going to be
stuck here for days.
[laughing]
Two more days, and they're going
to crack like cheap linoleum.
"Mud, mud, oh, glorious mud,
how dost thee come to be thee?
By rains of the mud in a glorious vein.
[Mikey] Hee-hee, hee-hee,
hee-hee-hee.
Mud, mud, oh, glorious mud" --
Will you stop it?
I was just trying to kill time.
Well, you've killed it.
It's dead and buried.
So take it somewhere else,
you big lummox!
Now, Spinelli, there's no reason--
will you stop swinging your feral leg?
What? I'm practicing.
There's a time and place
for everything and this is neither.
At least I'm not wasting
all my time with that stupid cube.
[yelling]
[whistles]
Don't you see what's happening?
It's just like Butch said.
Day three, and we're all
at each other's throats.
But we're bigger than that, guys.
All we have to do is stick together.
Besides, the rain's
got to be over by tomorrow.
It's just gotta.
Tell me about the sun, T.J.
I can't remember the sun.
[everyone gasps]
[barks]
-Did you see that?
-Yeah, and look.
That's unusual.
That's nothing. Check this out.
[horn honks]
[screams]
[gasps for air]
Oh, thank goodness.
Oh, it was all just a bad dream.
Hey, could that mean
[bird chirping]
[thunder]
"Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink."
Well, we can just stop here.
It's just about time for --
Ms. Grotkey, please don't make us go.
We'll do anything.
A test, a report, anything.
It's great to see you
high on your studies,
but I'm afraid we're all done
with our lessons.
You'll have to go to recess.
[screams]
Don't say that word!
Maybe we can clean
the blackboard.
But Gretchen's cleaned it twice already.
-Third time's a charm.
-[bell rings]
Class dismissed.
[groaning]
G-4. That's g, uh
Bingo!
Oh, what's the point?
Whatever, whatever, whatever.
That's it!
I can't take it anymore!
I'm going to jump. I swear
I'm going to jump.
No, don't do it!
Somebody help him!
That's it! I'm jumping!
Ow!
Oh, the humanity!
I don't know how much more
of this I can take, you guys.
I've already done my homework
through the 11th grade.
If I don't get outside soon,
I'm going to kill somebody.
Psst!
Hey, check it out.
Stuff from the outside.
A leaf, I remember those.
How much you want for it?
5 bucks.
$2.50 for the stem.
But I only got $1.34.
Sorry. I got a lot of other customers.
Maybe next time.
No, no, no!
[Vince] Totally sapped of energy.
Can't move.
Muststayawake.
Must
[thud]
Now, this is what I call
a recess, huh, kids?
Where are your high spirits now,
your rambunctious,
troublemaking ways?
It's just like back in '89.
How I love it.
Ah.
Now, let's see
Oh, Creative Detention. Hmm.
Huh? Water?
Hey, it's just water.
What are you doing, T.J.?
What I should have done
a long time ago.
Hey, what's happening?
I'm going outside.
You can't do that, man.
Oh, yeah? Well, why not?
All these years they've been making us
stay in one place or another.
When we were small, they made us
stay in the playpen.
When we were a little older,
they made us stay on the mat,
and now they're making us
stay in here. well, I say, why?
Uh, 'cause it's raining?
Guys, it's just water. You go swimming
in it, don't ya?
You take baths in it, don't ya?
It's just water,
And I for one, I'm not going to let
a little water ruin my recess.
Now, who's with me?
-I'm in.
-I'm in.
We're with you, T.J.
How about the rest of ya?
Gee, I don't know, T.J.
Yeah, we could get in a lot of trouble.
Well, if you change your minds,
you know where to find us.
They're crazy.
Or are we the crazy ones?
[gasps]
It's puddle time.
[gasping]
They made it.
They really made it.
Oh, support hose, 20% off.
What the
[laughing]
You kids get back in here
right this minute.
Sorry, Ms. Finster,
but we're finally
enjoying our recess.
As nature intended.
But but you can't do this.
You'll catch a cold.
You'll poke your eye out.
[gasps]
[groaning]
[cheering]
No, it can't be.
I was so close.
They were almost mine.
[bell rings]
[groaning]
Man, you guys really did it.
You played in the rain.
-What was it like?
-It was the greatest, guys.
It was like a recess for the ages.
Wow!
Well, guys,
that was pretty cool.
Yeah, I'm filthy, but I wouldn't
trade it for the world.
We won, you guys,
and nothing will ever
keep us from recess again.
[sneezes]
Come on, let's go inside.
[sneezes]
Man, my head is killing me.
Do I feel warm?
[sneezes]
Ew!
Anybody got a tissue?
[sneezing and coughing]
And so the noble Native Americans
shared their bountiful foodstuffs
with the undeserving European savages,
and that's why we call
this holiday Thanks--
[Principal Prickly] Attention, please.
Your attention, please.
Principal Prickly here,
reminding all you future people
that today begins
our annual Thanksgiving can drive
to help the homeless, the hungry,
the handicapped, etcetera, etcetera.
Remember, the class
that collects the most cans
by the end of the week
will receive a lovely turkey feast.
So, collect, collect, collect.
That is all.
[groaning]
-Great. I hate can drive week.
-It's so humiliating.
Oh, now. Come on people,
there's no reason to be so negative.
Why, the can drive's a school tradition
and a fun one, too.
And who knows, maybe we'll even win.
Highly improbable, Ms. Grotkey.
Everybody knows Ms. Furley's class
is gonna win.
What do you mean, Gretchen?
They didn't win last year.
Last year, they didn't have the Ashleys.
The Ashleys?
What do they have to do with it?
Teachers, you gotta tell them everything.
You see, Ms. Grotkey,
every year since Kindergarten,
the class with the Ashleys
has always won the can drive.
No matter how much
the other classes collect.
They're unbeatable.
Nonsense.
You have just as much chance
of winning as the next class.
You just have to work at it,
that's all.
-Yeah, right.
-[bell rings]
"Just as much chance of winning
as the next class?"
Where do they come up
with this stuff?
Teacher school?
I don't know, you guys.
Maybe Ms. Grotkey is right.
Maybe all we gotta do is give it a shot.
Actually, there is a statistical chance
we could win.
I mean, the Ashleys are just kids like us,
right?
Move it along, Ashley B.!
Hey, put a little elbow grease
in it, Ashley T.
[Ashley A.] Come on, come on, these cans
won't move themselves, you know.
We're doomed.
Man, I don't know if I can handle
losing to the Ashleys one more year.
Well, maybe we don't have to.
What do you mean, T.J.?
I never thought I'd be saying this guys,
but maybe we should just
bow out of the race.
You got a point, if we don't compete,
we can't lose.
Sounds good to me.
OK, all those in favor of dropping out
of the can drive, say "aye."
-[everyone] Aye.
-Well, I guess it's unanimous.
-Ms. Grotkey's class is officially out--
-Nay!
-What did you say, Mikey?
-Nay.
Nay and nay again.
Come on, Mikey, it's a sucker's bet.
We can't win.
You don't do a can drive to win,
you guys.
You do it for all the reasons
Principal Prickly said.
To help the homeless, the hungry,
the handicapped, etcetera, etcetera.
Oh, brother.
Look, Mikey, if you want to be
in the can drive,
more power to you.
But the rest of us just aren't up for it.
That's OK. Each soul
must follow his own path,
and my path is cans.
[in French] Au revoir, mes amis.
[in English] Poor misguided simpleton.
He doesn't stand a chance.
Let the can drive begin.
Poor guy.
He looks so pathetic.
Well, we told him it was a dumb idea.
You just can't compete
with the Ashleys.
Come on, let's go cheer him up.
Hey, man, how's our can-collecting
buddy doing?
Oh, uh, OK.
You should be proud of yourself, Mikey.
Nobody's ever collected that many cans
against the Ashleys.
Yeah, you really proved your point.
There's no shame in quitting now.
Quitting? But I'm not quitting.
I'm doing great.
In fact, I thought you guys
were getting ready to join me.
Join you?
Are you off your nut?
They're creaming you, man.
I told you guys I don't care
about that stuff.
I'm doing this
for the betterment of mankind.
And I think the Ashleys
share that spirit.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the can-drive king himself.
What are you doing, king?
Getting advice on how to lose
from your non-collecting
subjects?
[laughing]
Hey, give the guy a break.
Yeah, he's working his butt off,
unlike you weasels
that just get your moms and dads
to buy the cans for ya.
Oh, that, like, really hurts.
Yeah, it means a lot coming
from a bunch of dorks
who can't even handle
a little competition.
What?
Oh, you little perfume-headed
powder puffs,
we could beat you
any day of the week.
Yeah, right. Like you did
for the last five years in a row?
Watch it, Ashley. You're going to make us
do something we don't want to do.
Oh, I'm, like, quivering
in my $90 pumps.
That's it. We're in.
This is war.
We're going to crush you, Ashley, so bad
the only thing left will be
broken green beans
and a smeared streak
of creamed corn.
Come on, guys.
But, T.J
See you losers at the finish line,
if you, like, even make it that far.
-Come on, girls.
-But, but
[music playing]
Well, guys, I gotta admit
we sure collected a lot of cans.
Yeah, it's kind of amazing
what two days of collecting
and five years of humiliation
can do for you.
There's no way
the Ashleys can catch up now.
[Ashley A.] Next!
They're can-collecting machines!
We'll never beat them.
But that's OK, guys.
We're just doing this for those
less fortunate than ourselves, right?
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
There's gotta be a way
for us to catch up.
If only we had more kids to help us.
Come on, Swinger Girl.
-We really need your help.
-Sorry.
-It's for a good cause.
-No, thanks.
-Might get a turkey dinner out of it.
-Nah.
-We're going to beat the Ashleys.
-I'm in.
-The Ashleys?
-We're in.
Ashleys? Count me in.
Ashleys? Sounds cool.
Guys, it's a whole new can drive.
[music playing]
[children yelling]
And so, Columbus made
his first Atlantic crossing
in the year 1492.
Boy, can you believe how many cans
of food we collected?
We're really gonna help a lot of people.
Yeah and kick a lot of Ashley butt, too.
I don't know, you guys.
Based on my calculations,
it's gonna be pretty darn close.
We gotta beat them, you guys.
We just gotta.
As part of our Thanksgiving
can drive celebration,
we have a special guest here today
to present the winning class
with its lovely turkey feast,
Miss Eudora B. Finkelstein,
Graduate of Third Street School's
first class, back in 1928.
[exclamation]
OK, very nice, Eudora.
Now just sit there and hold the turkey.
Anyway, without further ado,
the envelopes, please.
And the final count is
[Principal Prickly] Ms. Furley's class,
4,362.
-[cheering]
-Yes! Yes!
In your face! In your face!
And Ms. Grotkey's class
4,362?
[gasping]
You mean, it's like, a tie?
That's perfect.
Perfect? A tie's worse than losing.
[bickering]
Oh, man, if we had just
one more can, one more can.
You kids say you need
one more can?
Well, I think I may have one in here.
I was going to give it
to the winning class,
but since it's a tie
[gasping]
[children screaming]
-[Ashley A.] Let go now!
-[T.J.] Let go of it!
-[T.J.] Ow! You're hurting me!
-[Ashley A.] Drop it.
[whistle]
Don't you see what's happening?
You're all acting like animals.
Can drives aren't about winning or losing.
They're about helping people,
and being generous,
and sharing our bounty.
Who wins and who loses matters not.
So let's just put all the cans together
and forget about that dumb turkey dinner.
What do you say?
There's only one thing to say
give me that can!
[everyone screaming]
Eee! Oh! Eee! Ah!
[gasping]
The pyramid! No!
[gasping]
Look out!
She's gonna blow!
[screaming]
Look what you've all done!
Now nobody's going to have
a good Thanksgiving!
Hey, where is everybody?
Mikey!
He's in here, you guys.
-Mikey!
-Where have you been, man?
We've been, like,
looking all over for ya.
You have? But why?
Why? 'Cause we felt really bad
about what happened yesterday.
Yeah, we wanted to make things right again
but we couldn't figure out how.
And then, it came to us.
It was Ashley A.'s idea.
Actually, we like, all came up
with it together.
-What are you guys talking about?
-This.
-[boy] Here you go, Mikey.
-Here you go, man.
[students talking at once]
But I don't get it.
I thought we drained
the whole neighborhood.
We did, Mikey, but then we started working
as a team.
We came up with a whole bunch
of new ideas.
I called my cousin Nick
over at Fifth Street School.
And we talked to our pals
at the Diggers Society.
And there's a convention
of swingers in town.
And pretty soon, we collected twice
as many cans as we had before.
Really?
And that's not all, Mikey. Look.
[Spinelli] When we told the guy
at the Feed Bin store what happened,
he said it was time his company
put its money where its mouth is.
They're donating a truckload of food
to every homeless shelter in the city.
Wow!
And it's all because of you, Mikey.
Yeah. Thanks to you, we all realized
that working with each other
is twice as good as working
against each other.
[Principal Prickly] Your attention,
please.
Now that the Thanksgiving
can drive is finally over,
I want to remind everyone
that Monday is the beginning
of our holiday toy drive.
So collect, collect, collect.
That is all.
[music playing]
[school bell rings]
[music playing]