Samurai Jack s01e11 Episode Script
Jack and the Scotsman
By the look on your face, I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie.
Please, I don't mean to interrupt but am I close to the end of this bridge? No, far from it.
I've been traipsing across this bridge for days now.
Seems I have a long way to go still.
I should be on my way.
Excuse me.
- What do you expect me to do? - Just stand aside.
And risk falling over the side for a perfect stranger? Away and bow your head.
You stand aside! My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge.
And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end of the bridge first.
That would waste too much time and time is what I don't have.
So you think you're better than me because you're in a hurry.
Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, you did not think of that, did you? That I might be an equal.
No! You just consider yourself superior, right off.
You're rude.
You mistake my comment, sir.
Do I? You think I'm dumb too? No, I Look, we are both in a hurry.
So I shall hang from these planks and you may walk over.
So you get a peek up my kilt? That is not what I am suggesting.
- So you say, you plucky-faced hing-oot! - What did you call me? So you're deaf too, you clagtail cuddie dreik! I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We'll fight for it to the finish.
- I do not think there is any need to - Listen, you boony blathering numpty.
The only way for you to get across this bridge is to beat me in combat! Now, are you a man, or a worthless blate like I know you are? I'm calling you a coward! I fear no man.
That's some tough talk coming from a man who wears a basket on his head! I carry my haggis in a basket.
You might even make me shiver if you weren't dressed in a nightgown.
You look like my nanny! You call that thing dangling off your hip a sword? Looks like a butter knife.
You'll not hurt anyone, wielding a piece of tinfoil around.
You'd be better off using your slippers for a weapon.
This is a sword! And it's bigger than yours.
What do you think of that, Mr.
Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Cully-Breek-Tattie.
You gonna weep now? Shall I pause while you mourn your hat? I can play a melancholy tune to go with your weeping.
You've done it now.
I'm gonna turn your head into a flour sifter.
Aye, you got a lot of pep for a wee laddie.
The horse-cut technique should've destroyed your sword.
Magic runes, laddie! All them fancy moves will get you nowhere.
Now, quit your jumping around and get to fighting! Prepare to meet your doom.
I'll give you one more chance to give up.
I am not defeated.
And I shall hold my ground.
Hold your ground? You can barely hold your sword.
Then come get me.
What? I Seeing that I'm a sportsman l'll give you a moment to recuperate.
They're after me.
After you? They're after me! Aku's got a price on my head! Aku has a price on my head! We are in no condition to fight.
Especially not with a pajama-wearing daisy strapped to my wrist! - We must escape.
- Over the side! Leave it to a lover of basket hats to jump left instead of right.
I'm having second thoughts now anyway.
We have no idea how far down Great job, laddie.
- You have any idea where we are? - No.
So, what now, smarty-pants? For the moment, we are safe from those bounty hunters.
We must find shelter before they find us.
We are defenseless in this lagoon.
Shut it! There.
We'll be safer on land.
- Hear you!! - Blaster! What I do not understand is, why Aku is after you.
I have a huge price on my head.
Oh, yeah.
Huge.
I'm the most wanted man on this planet.
Bounty hunters of all types are after me skin.
My face is plastered on wanted posters in every town on seven countries.
Oh, yeah.
I'm infamous.
No.
I don't believe it.
Got it! I think they're gone.
Are you sure? Aye, it's quiet.
Jump now! - This might not work.
- Of course it works.
We're a lethal pair.
Behind you! The arrow relies on the bow.
The bow, on the arrow.
But they are not tied together.
That would be pointless now, wouldn't it? Exactly.
Together we are formidable but shackled, our power is pointless.
- We must be free.
- Aye, free.
And we'll take them together! Is that the best you can do? I'd say we've wiped out our bounty-hunter problem.
- For now.
- Aye.
For now.
I was wrong about you.
I acted foolishly as well.
No hard feelings, aye? I'll buy you a refreshment.
Please, allow me.
I shall buy you a refreshment.
No, no, I'll buy you one.
I insist.
No, I must buy you one, to make amends.
It's all right.
I'll buy.
- No, I will buy.
- I'll buy.
- No, I will buy.
- I'll buy.
- No, I will.
- I will.
- I will.
- Me! Me!
Please, I don't mean to interrupt but am I close to the end of this bridge? No, far from it.
I've been traipsing across this bridge for days now.
Seems I have a long way to go still.
I should be on my way.
Excuse me.
- What do you expect me to do? - Just stand aside.
And risk falling over the side for a perfect stranger? Away and bow your head.
You stand aside! My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge.
And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end of the bridge first.
That would waste too much time and time is what I don't have.
So you think you're better than me because you're in a hurry.
Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, you did not think of that, did you? That I might be an equal.
No! You just consider yourself superior, right off.
You're rude.
You mistake my comment, sir.
Do I? You think I'm dumb too? No, I Look, we are both in a hurry.
So I shall hang from these planks and you may walk over.
So you get a peek up my kilt? That is not what I am suggesting.
- So you say, you plucky-faced hing-oot! - What did you call me? So you're deaf too, you clagtail cuddie dreik! I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We'll fight for it to the finish.
- I do not think there is any need to - Listen, you boony blathering numpty.
The only way for you to get across this bridge is to beat me in combat! Now, are you a man, or a worthless blate like I know you are? I'm calling you a coward! I fear no man.
That's some tough talk coming from a man who wears a basket on his head! I carry my haggis in a basket.
You might even make me shiver if you weren't dressed in a nightgown.
You look like my nanny! You call that thing dangling off your hip a sword? Looks like a butter knife.
You'll not hurt anyone, wielding a piece of tinfoil around.
You'd be better off using your slippers for a weapon.
This is a sword! And it's bigger than yours.
What do you think of that, Mr.
Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Cully-Breek-Tattie.
You gonna weep now? Shall I pause while you mourn your hat? I can play a melancholy tune to go with your weeping.
You've done it now.
I'm gonna turn your head into a flour sifter.
Aye, you got a lot of pep for a wee laddie.
The horse-cut technique should've destroyed your sword.
Magic runes, laddie! All them fancy moves will get you nowhere.
Now, quit your jumping around and get to fighting! Prepare to meet your doom.
I'll give you one more chance to give up.
I am not defeated.
And I shall hold my ground.
Hold your ground? You can barely hold your sword.
Then come get me.
What? I Seeing that I'm a sportsman l'll give you a moment to recuperate.
They're after me.
After you? They're after me! Aku's got a price on my head! Aku has a price on my head! We are in no condition to fight.
Especially not with a pajama-wearing daisy strapped to my wrist! - We must escape.
- Over the side! Leave it to a lover of basket hats to jump left instead of right.
I'm having second thoughts now anyway.
We have no idea how far down Great job, laddie.
- You have any idea where we are? - No.
So, what now, smarty-pants? For the moment, we are safe from those bounty hunters.
We must find shelter before they find us.
We are defenseless in this lagoon.
Shut it! There.
We'll be safer on land.
- Hear you!! - Blaster! What I do not understand is, why Aku is after you.
I have a huge price on my head.
Oh, yeah.
Huge.
I'm the most wanted man on this planet.
Bounty hunters of all types are after me skin.
My face is plastered on wanted posters in every town on seven countries.
Oh, yeah.
I'm infamous.
No.
I don't believe it.
Got it! I think they're gone.
Are you sure? Aye, it's quiet.
Jump now! - This might not work.
- Of course it works.
We're a lethal pair.
Behind you! The arrow relies on the bow.
The bow, on the arrow.
But they are not tied together.
That would be pointless now, wouldn't it? Exactly.
Together we are formidable but shackled, our power is pointless.
- We must be free.
- Aye, free.
And we'll take them together! Is that the best you can do? I'd say we've wiped out our bounty-hunter problem.
- For now.
- Aye.
For now.
I was wrong about you.
I acted foolishly as well.
No hard feelings, aye? I'll buy you a refreshment.
Please, allow me.
I shall buy you a refreshment.
No, no, I'll buy you one.
I insist.
No, I must buy you one, to make amends.
It's all right.
I'll buy.
- No, I will buy.
- I'll buy.
- No, I will buy.
- I'll buy.
- No, I will.
- I will.
- I will.
- Me! Me!