Serie Noire (2014) s01e11 Episode Script

1 I am your season two's fucking mastermind.
I made sure you could get out of your miserable middle-class life to find real good ideas.
And I know it worked.
-Are you OK? -I press here and it goes away.
I love you.
It's Bruno.
Some of the physical and emotional symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder include headaches, digestive problems and anxiety, but sometimes acute stress can cause a sensation of excitement and euphoria in an individual.
So, after a brush with death in a field along Highway 15, Patrick had to go out and max out his credit card.
He bought a 64-inch Samsung Smart 3D series plasma TV, a football signed by Darren McFadden of the Oakland Raiders, two bottles of Highland Park scotch Special Reserve, aged 30 years, as well as the seven seasons of Star Trek -The Next Generation remastered on Blu-Ray.
Do what you can, it doesn't have to be on the money.
Sometimes, a brush with death makes you want to realize your unfulfilled fantasies.
No, I have to go all the way! But I'm drunk, so my skills are impaired.
The mimosas are ready.
I'll be in the living room.
Go in the bedroom! My knees are busted.
Hello, you have reached Patrick's voicemail.
Yes, it's Jean-Guy.
I heard you got your job back.
It would have been nice to get some form of acknowledgement, a little gratitude There's nothing magical about life.
Altering pH is a science.
Anyhow.
A good bottle of brandy is always a nice way to thank someone.
Yes, but it's Deckard.
As in a "pool deck".
Deckard! Can I come in? So? Do I look more like a clown or like Daryl Hannah? I'd say a great mix of both.
EXI HENRI, YOUR KEYS! Denis, feeling less euphoric than his colleague, has been thinking non-stop for the past few hours about the fact that Charlene called Bruno shortly before his death.
How would Patrick react to this sudden turnaround in the investigation? Hi Henri! You leave with my car.
And thanks to you, Solange is traumatized.
I'm sorry.
I hope I can count on your discretion with Louise.
Yes, no problem.
Besides, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
-Are you OK? -Yes, I am! Thanks again, my friend.
Life is beautiful, right? Thank you, life! -I called, but you didn't answer.
-Thank you! I have to talk to you about Charlene.
I have to talk to you about her too.
I have an announcement to make.
Do you want a mimosa? No, thank you I'm fine.
Look You know, yesterday, when I sent the text message to Claudio Oh yes, that text message Best timing ever! Thank you! Don't mention it.
It was a pleasure.
After I sent you the text message, I checked the call log in Bruno's phone.
Hi, Denis! Hooray! Thank you, Denis! There's a lot of genius in there.
And without that genius, Mister Teckard Deckard wouldn't be here today.
Thank you! Can you guys stop thanking me, please? -Are you sure? No mimosa? -No, thank you.
-Oh! You said "thank you"! So You want to talk about me? No, I don't want to talk about you.
That's not what I heard.
I wanted to know if you're here today, because we need to write.
Can we write tomorrow? I'd like to take this Sunday off, to recover from the trauma, and I'd like to watch Blade Runner with Charlene.
Did you see my new 3D TV? No, we have to work.
We haven't written anything and our deadline is on Tuesday.
This afternoon then? No, I can't this afternoon.
I'm going ice-skating with my family.
Why would you go ice-skating if I can't watch Blade Runner? Because my daughter ran away and I want to show her I love her before she runs away again.
Come on, put some clothes on.
You'll make some coffee.
Let's go! It's all right.
Whatever! -Have you ever seen Blade Runner? -No.
At the end, Daryl Hannah tries to strangle Harrison Ford with her legs.
But he ends up killing her.
-It's totally ridiculous.
-No! These are the facts.
Charlene called Bruno three hours before the murder.
That doesn't mean anything, there are other numbers in the log.
I called you yesterday.
Did I kill you? I call my Mom sometimes, I haven't killed her! Why did Charlene leave the night they put the wire on us? It was the night of the murder.
Why didn't she stay? -What did she have to do? -She went to see her mother.
Have you ever met her mother? Are you jealous of Charlene? What? It bothers you that we're together.
You don't like her.
It's not that I don't like her.
She might be a murderer.
Is it because, unconsciously, you want to keep me for yourself? Is that the problem here? There is no problem here.
When I was with Lea, she had a theory about you.
Is this the expression of a repressed homosexual desire? That's right, Mr.
Freeze, you can talk! Or is it just envy? Just because we fuck and you don't.
-What are you talking about? Fuck! No! Don't leave! We have to work.
We have to find a way to bring Marc Arcand back into the storyline.
You know what? You don't have a monopoly on happiness.
Now, it's my turn! It's true, the evidence is pretty thin.
-It's just a phone call.
-Made a few hours before the murder.
That's something! It's pretty weak as circumstantial evidence.
-Circumstantial evidence, well done.
-As opposed to material evidence.
Yes, I understood the first time.
I'm not stupid.
Why would she want to kill him? What's her motive? I don't know, but I'll figure it out.
But knowing the vocabulary is not enough.
You need to follow your feelings.
Right now, I've got a strong feeling.
Daddy! My skates are hurting my feet.
Can we go? But we just got here! We're doing something family-oriented in a family place! With some family-friendly music.
Don't you love it? Can I wait for you in the car? Check it out! I don't think your strategy's working.
If we show her that we love each other, she'll feel more secure about our family.
I checked some sites on the Internet.
Hey, Juliette! Should we get some maple taffy? No.
Would you like to have a little brother? -Or a little sister.
-Come on, Denis! Mom and I, we talk about it often.
Would you like a brother? Does it mean you have to make love? Well Yes! That's how you make a baby.
Even if Mom is gay? No, Mom is not gay.
Mom is straight.
-With me.
-But not with Maude? -With Maude, it doesn't count.
-Why? Because it's a game.
Like when you play with your doll.
It doesn't count.
Maude is not a doll.
OK, what I'm trying to say is a gay person is someone who deeply loves another person of the same sex.
And it's great if that's the way that person is, -but Mom isn't -Mom isn't what? OK, buddy, at the motel, Charlene told you that she had been sexually assaulted by Ricky.
Isn't that what she told you? Sexually assaulted.
But why would Ricky sexually assault her if he belongs to the East Gay Gang and he's homosexual? You hear me? Charlene calling Bruno, and a gay guy molesting a woman In my book, this is starting to smell awfully fishy! It's time to wake up, you idiot! And by the way, just a reminder, I saved your life yesterday morning.
I wouldn't mind a smidgen of gratitude.
All right.
Call me back, please.
Bye.
Will she feel more secure about the family if we do something boring and dumb? You're the one who wanted to be back on the team.
Be back on the team.
I staked out Toutoune.
Yes, but you were following a false lead.
Now, I've got something for real.
Weird.
I felt bad for you.
I picked a St-Remy, it cost $23.
If you give me $20, we're square, and we can forget about it.
I'm glad I could help you get your job back.
Let's drink this one together.
Should we? I don't think I'm going to join you.
I hit it pretty hard last night.
I can see that.
-A new TV? -Yes.
Can I help you install it? No, thank you.
I'm just leaving it here for now.
We're moving soon.
Hi! Oh, well! I'm sorry, did I interrupt a crazy sex romp? No, Jean-Guy, it's all right.
You're doing outcalls now? -I'm going out.
I'll be back later.
-OK.
Shit! Two outcalls in one day! What a stud! That's my boy.
You told me you were just going to work at the massage parlor.
I don't remember any of that Still in love? Look, I've known her for a long time.
I have my bad days, sometimes I can't get a hard-on, se we end up chatting instead.
-Are you still on cloud 9? -Yes.
-Patrick is awesome.
-We're together now.
We're moving in together.
I have to run.
Congratulations! Thank you.
What's the plan? She's on the phone.
Did she come out? She just came out.
What are you doing? I'm going to the other side.
She'll see us if we do a big u-turn in front of her She can't see us here.
-She's looking at us.
-No, she can't see us.
Stop saying that.
She can see us.
It's impossible for her to see us.
She can see us, she's waving us! -What are you doing? Don't say hello! -She's coming! Stay in the car.
What do you want? -Say hi to your lady.
-My family's staying in the car.
-Judith, stay in the car! -Hi, Charlene! Hi! I thought I recognized you, but I wasn't sure.
-So I thought I'd come and check -We weren't sure either -Judith, in the car! -Hello, pretty girl! Thanks again for the other night.
It was so nice of you.
It was fun, like a first double date! OK, back in the car! -Back in the car! -OK! I can see through you.
Speaking to my family to intimidate me It's like Glenn Close visiting Michael Douglas' apartment for sale in Fatal Attraction.
Does Glenn Close spy on everyone like you do? I haven't seen that film and I don't care.
Funnily enough, I have the feeling you're the one channeling Glenn Close.
Come with me, we have to talk.
OK, stay here.
Everything is OK.
You've always had a strange relationship with Patrick, -have you thought about therapy? -Enough with your stupid theories! I'm in love with Patrick.
I feel good with him, I want to try living with him.
You will have to make room for me one way or the other.
-I don't trust you.
-I know.
I also know you called me with Bruno's phone.
You act like it's an eye-opener, but it doesn't mean anything.
That's what we call circumstantial evidence.
But I have other evidence against you.
-What kind of evidence? -You think I'm going to tell you? What about Bruno's body in the shed? What kind of evidence is that? You want to play that kind of game? If you play that game, I'll play it too.
You just confirmed that you are guilty.
This is to confirm that if you choose to fuck with me, I will strike back! There's a dead body in your shed.
I have Pérez's number.
I'd be happy to call him.
Do you think you're the only one with his number? With the evidence I have, I could call him later! I could call him right away.
He's even in my contacts.
Do you want me to call him? You won't call him.
If you love Patrick, you won't call him.
-Why? -You wouldn't put him in harm's way.
The body's in your shed, not his! His fingerprints are on the award! -They are not.
-Why do you say that? You're such a control freak.
He was never able to touch it! -He said that? -Yes.
You are turning him against me! I'm not doing anything.
But at this point, I'm not sure he would pick you over me if he had to choose.
It reminds me of a scene in season one.
Huge confrontation between Pierre and Valerie.
Pierre ends up hitting Valerie.
-Everyone thought it was overdramatic.
-So fucking fascinating I apologize.
-It's ringing! -Sorry.
-It's ringing! -Are you OK? Still ringing.
What's your address? No! Give me that! Give me that! OK, he's going crazy.
-She's turning you against me.
-He hit me.
What? Did you hit her? No! Just a little slap in the face! I swear! I am right Patrick, stop it! Let's go home.
Come on.
I was worried! I thought it'd be a good idea to call Patrick.
Great idea.
Are you going to be able to write together after this? I'm just worried about one detail in the screenplay.
If Judge Boivin moves in with his little prostitute, things aren't going to be as fun.
He won't be able to fuck other girls.
I don't understand, Jean-Guy.
-Are you still doing your experiment? -Yes.
If Patrick moves in with Charlene, doesn't it mean that Judge Boivin is going to move in with his prostitute? Patrick's moving in with Charlene? You didn't know? It wasn't easy, but we did it together.
Despite the fact that two weeks earlier, I had banged his sister.
That's what we call team spirit.
The team's interests supersede our own little personal matters.
What's the deal? You have a job to do together.
We have two episodes to write.
Put your differences aside and go back to work.
You can use my office.
Thank you.
Patrick I'm sorry for our little walk into the woods.
Please don't tell anyone.
I don't want to lose my spot.
Has Bruno called you? No.
He hasn't called me either.
I think he should call today.
Can I ask you why you're shirtless? It's Valentine's Day.
On Valentine's Day, we strip to the waist.
I'm leaving him here, in case Bruno calls.
It was your idea.
This is an ideal place to work.
A neutral place, with Ricky in the corner.
We can't talk about the other stuff.
Just work.
Obviously we're going through some tough times right now Stop it.
We're here to work, that's it.
-I wasn't speaking about Charlene -Stop it.
-It's just -I'm leaving.
OK, I'll stop! This is what I had in mind for Marc Arcand's character Judge Boivin could reduce his sentence and he could get out of jail a lot earlier.
Instead of 25 years, he could have his sentence reduced.
.
to six months? -That's an insane drop.
-But there's a twist We'll find out that the judge is under the influence of the prostitute who happens to be Marc Arcand's half-sister.
So, we learn that the prostitute is manipulating Judge Boivin.
-It's the crazy -Stop it.
-What? -Do you think I'm an idiot? -We're working.
-I don't like your idea.
I think it's totally stupid.
Get the fuck out! Go somewhere else! -I'm talking to the Vermont guys.
-The Vermont guys? Yes, the deal I was talking about.
I'm on the phone with them, we have to set a date to meet, but I still don't know where the fucking dynamite is! Come on, Bruno, it's Valentine's Day, you need to be here for me, sweetheart.
Denis! Denis, come on, let's leave him alone.
We'll work somewhere else.
Let's leave him alone.
Claudio, thank you! See you later, Claudio! OK, answer! To say what? I can't make up a place.
It'll come back and bite us.
-He needs to calm down.
Send him a sext! -Yes, a sext! See, we're a good team.
We work well OK.
Send a sext.
The rubber gloves from last time I still have them in me.
-Does this work? -In me? -I mean, in his -Yes, all right.
We shouldn't stay here.
-You're right.
-Should we go to my place to work? -I have something to do.
-With Charlene? Fucking dynamite! Rej, tell me, do you know Charlene a little? Yes.
Do you know where she lives? I owe you one, Rej! Nice improvement from your bad attitude the other day.
It's pretty simple.
I can give you the toolkit, if you want.
Thank you.
Hello? Is she moving out? Rej, I hope I can count on your discretion.
Don't tell anyone about this, OK? No problem.
I love the fact that there's tons of storage.
You could have your office upstairs.
There's also a basement shared by the three units.
It's damp, but it gives you 200 square feet to store tires and things like that.
Excuse me.
I won't be long.
Should we take it? I feel good here.
So do I.
You're already packed up? Yes.
I don't fuck around! I don't know if I'm going to find it.
It's just safer to double check.
You don't break a lease like that.
There can be penalties.
What's that? Material evidence: dynamite.
Motive: dynamite.
Double whammy! I can't believe it.
There is just one detail I don't like that expression Sure, it's material evidence, but it's not "direct" material evidence.
Stop making up new categories! Let's say she stole the dynamite from Bruno It doesn't prove she killed him.
-I'm done talking! -No, the dynamite, that's great, but it's not as if you found the murder weapon.
That would be direct material evidence.
OK, reconstruction.
Charlene leaves your parents' house.
She goes to see Bruno who wants to talk to her.
He thinks she stole -The dynamite.
-Right.
It turns into a fight.
For Bruno, it's a huge betrayal.
This dynamite is extremely important.
It will give them full autonomy.
-Full autonomy? -Full homosexual autonomy.
They argue.
Charlene whips out a gun she brought because she could see this coming.
And bang! Who would have thought of this? She takes some gloves from the garbage -to frame another prostitute? -You're right.
She couldn't know they had been used to jerk off Claudio.
There you go.
We know the rest of the story.
Maybe he saw something.
Marc Arcand? He was the first to arrive at the crime scene.
Maybe he is the eye witness we're looking for.
He didn't tell me anything.
-Maybe he needs -Some more questioning.
He paid my rent, and in exchange, I was letting him hide his stash here.
It didn't bother me, and it allowed me to keep more money.
Except at one point, I started stealing from his stash.
I know some guys.
I sold them some on the side.
I didn't steal very much at all, but after a while, Ricky noticed my scheme.
He threatened to tell Bruno about it.
That's why I came up with the sexual assault story.
And now Bruno is dead, since he was the only one who knew his stash was here, I don't see why I should tell anyone about it! Why not sell the whole stash myself? Why shouldn't I jump on this opportunity? This could be my lucky break It could be my chance to get out of this.
I don't want to be a whore for the rest of my life! I didn't kill him.
I swear I didn't kill him! I swear on my mother's life.
Are you going to introduce me to your Mom? Are you? Yes, but She's in Alma, at her sister's, but we'll have dinner as soon as she comes back.
I believe you.
-I love you.
-I love you too! I don't need any of your bullshit.
I can confirm that your character's coming back.
-You can tell me the truth.
-I'm telling you the truth.
I didn't see anything.
Are you going to hand me the scripts pretty soon? Yes, it shouldn't take too long.
Well, my dishwasher is ready for the award.
I'll even add some Jet Dry, it'll be squeaky clean.
-Is that for Maude? -Yes.
It's pretty weird that you ended up with her.
Weird? Fuck! Nothing weird about it.
I did it to take her out of your way, so you can start over with your lady and focus on the series.
Are you serious? Well, thank you, but it wasn't really necessary.
It's going great with Judith now.
-Are you serious? -Yes.
We seem to be as close as ever.
What are you doing now? Maude! What's going on? -Get the fuck out of here! -What? Get the fuck out! Your breath is foul, you're terrible in bed.
Regarding your investigation, I feel like quoting you lesson number two from Marc Arcand's World.
Do you know it? No, I don't know lesson two.
That one is in English.
Here, Juliette, for dessert.
Check it out! A Valentine's Day dessert? Yes! Valentine's Day is love day.
And in this family, we love each other.
So today is our day.
Right, Juliette? OK, it's all right.
Penetration is not required.
-Some are missing.
-Yes, I ate a couple already.
Hello? -Your trunk doesn't open.
-You have to open it from the inside.
The key doesn't work.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What are you doing? You sound so mysterious.
You'll know everything later.
Yes, hello! Hello? It doesn't work.
-Jean-Guy? -My trick isn't working.
It's not working this time, fuck! Hello? -Hello! -Hi! You're so nice! You're so beautiful.
You don't look bad either.
What are you doing? A little souvenir.
Do you want to know what I did with your car? I would love to know.
I went to get some gear.
I'm planning to clean up my wardrobe, if you see what I mean.
I'm closing the deal the day after tomorrow.
I'm in touch with the guys, it'll be super easy.
And super well-paid.
You can't do this on your own! -Why not? -It could be dangerous.
-Come on! -They must be real thugs.
They might have weapons and all.
This isn't TV, they're regular people.
Regular people who buy dynamite? Of course, if you offer your help, I might just accept it.
Do I look like a dynamite peddler to you? Wouldn't it be nice to have some ice cream with our dessert? -Yes! -With the chocolates? -Well, yes! -I want some! I'll get some.
I'll be back.
-Yes? -Good evening, Céline.
-Do you recognize me? -Yes, good evening.
I was in the neighborhood, and I really need to pee.
Could I please use your bathroom? Thank you, partner.
-Denis? -Good evening! -Good evening.
How funny -I'm sorry.
I'm in a hurry.
I'm celebrating Valentine's Day with Judith.
I was wondering: do you have any ice cream? You came all the way to Boucherville to get some ice cream? -Do you have any? -Yes, I do.
Come in.
I have a little bit of Vanilla ice cream left.
But I have more in the freezer downstairs.
They had a nice special on ice cream at the store.
So I bought a bunch.
Juliette loves having some ice cream when she comes over.
I sure don't buy it for Gilles.
Gilles doesn't eat anything.
Denis! Tri-color or vanilla? I couldn't find any.
-Oh, no! -What took you so long? I went to a few places.
Everything was closed.
It feels like Valentine's Day turns into a national holiday at night.
Stupid shit! What about the convenience store? I didn't try that one.
You think they'd have ice cream? It's OK, Juliette, we'll have some ice cream another time.
I hate your Valentine's Day! Do you mind getting some? I'm a little tired now.
I'll play with her while you go there.
-I'm going to the convenience store? -Yes, please! Look, it would make her so happy.
-Why don't you go? -It's your turn.
Do you realize how weird this all is? This is not weird.
Hold on a second.
I'll be right back! Juliette! Do you know what this is? It's a nail gun.
It makes a lot of noise.
I have a little repair to make in the shed.
It'll take me a minute, but it'll be noisy, OK? -I don't want to worry you.
-OK.
-Are you all right? -Yes.
Awesome! Are you going to bed soon? Are you sure? Someone's here.
I switched off the lights before leaving.
-What are you doing here? -Drop it! -No! You drop it! -Drop it! -No, you! -Patrick? -Hi, Mom.
I know it's late.
Our heater is broken.
This is my girlfriend.
We're moving in together.
Do you mind if we sleep in my old room tonight? OK, it's fine.
No! It's very heavy.